Chapter 4
It did not take me long, continued, George, to settle down to a peaceful if rather strenuous routine in my new life. After a few performance I was able to add some innovations to my act, and the public and the circus pro* prietor were satisfied.
Late each night, after the circus staff had all gone to bed, I used to steal down to the enclosure to spend some time with Sheila. For her pleasure I had constructed, out of a tent pole and pieces of felt and rubber, a quite passable imitation of an elephant's cock, to which I had attached (about three quarters of the way down two coco-nuts filled with lead. Sheila was very pleased with my invention, whih she occasionally loaned to the other elephants. But she would not let me operate the dummy cock for anyone but herself, and the other elephants appreciated the fact that I was Sheila's sexual partier, and did not interfere.
Witht a little practice, we were able to synchronise our orgasms. Sheila, even under the stress of heaving passion, never became rough with me, and my cock was always treated with great delicacy and perfect instinctive understanding. From the point of view of sexual needs, I was perfectly happy.
My caravan, wherever we went, was always placed near the elephants' quarters, and sometimes, in the morning, if I overslept, Sheila's trunk would come in via the caravan window, take off my bedclothes and rouse me gently by tugging at my cock. This never failed to give me an erection, and Sheila never failed to oblige me by tossing me off. She seemed to enjoy the taste of my spunk, because she never spilt any, and always swallowed it afterwards. The sex act with her trunk was particularly satisfying for me, because her powers of suction, which she exercised in moderation on my cock, always enabled me to pass a very satisfying quantity of spunk. I was never left with that itchy feeling that I should like to do it again at once.
As for my use of the dummy cock on Sheila, the strength of the muscles of her cunt was so enormous, that I was obliged, after the first experiment, to affix a great cross-bar to the gadget.
Like any human female, Sheila was highly susceptible to atmosphere, music, moonlight, and the magic of words. After we had satisfied ourselves sexually, I used to recite the poems of eats to her, and she would listen in perfect quiet, her friendly trunk oyer my shoulder, and her great attentive ears flicking softly in approval. The more sonorous passage in the plays of Shakespeare also pleased her, particularly the more moving speeches in the tragedies.
As regards our public performances, I discovered that Sheila had a great love of dancing and I encouraged her in every way possible, fashioning her instinctive rhythms of movements into approximations of the slower steps of the human dance.
I suppose, really and truly, we were in love, as any young couple might be, and not only we take pleasure in each other's bodies, but the spiritual bonds between us were very stroug. Once Sheila contracted some kind of an illness, accompanied by severe fever and loss of appetite and insomnia. I was completely distraught, and the circus proprietor, himself a rough and tough enough character, was bullied by me as if he had been a little boy to procure the best veterinary attention in the country and to buy the expensive drugs which were necessary to effect a cure. When Sheila began to recover, my happiness knew no bounds, and I fed her with the choices fruits that the importers of Eire were able to obtain by special request.
Much the same happened, in reverse, when I went down with a severe summer cold. For four days -Sheila did not sleep at all. Her head was always at my caravan window, and when the doctor came to examine me Sheila took him by the shoulder after he had finished the examination, and shook him gently. I explained to the amazed and frightened practitioner that she was asking him to tell her about my condition. Fortunately, he was an Irishman of the old stamp, a great believer in fairies and every kind of miracle; having recovered his equanimity, he explained slowly and distinctly to Sheila exactly what was wrong with me. She listened to him attentively watching his eyes. At the phrase "He'll be all right in a few days," she let out a great sigh of relief, and let him go, withdrawing her trunk of the caravan window. Before we left that particular town, the doctor-after I had recovered-came to see one of our shows. Sheila immediately recognised him the audience, and paid him the great compliment of lifting him out of his seat and placing him gently on her back with me. The local reporters were delighted with the incident, which was reported in the press all over Ireland and even in a few American papers.
In good weather, Sheila and I often used to go for a walk in the country or by the sea. She loved the sea as much as I did, and we used to spend hours playing about in the water or lying lazily on the Beach.
Three weeks after I had started work for the circus, a rather unpleasant incident occured. The circus was due to stay a week in the town in which my uncle had his. shop. Now as it happened, my uncle and I had the same surname, and naturally, for the purposes of circus billing I had never thought of changing it. My uncle, having established himself as a grocer, had political ambitions, and at the time the circus was due to stay in the town, the local elections were actually in progress, and my uncle was one of the candidates and was generally regarded as certain to become the next mayor.
I did not take long for the political party opposing my uncle's party to discover the relationship between us. First of all there was the name. The town was plastered with posters bearing the same name in very different contexts: one as potential mayor, the other as dwarf elephant trainer. Moreover, quite a few people in the town knew me by sight already, and it did not take long for the truth to come out.
My uncle visited me at' the circus, and a very stormy scene took place.
"I don't object," he began, "to a malformed nephew who is studying medicine at an old Irish University. But I cannot agree to a family connection with a circus dwarf. Either you leave this disgraceful work immediately, or I shall disown you completely, and shall not contribute a penny more towards your studies and your upkeep at college."
"But uncle," I protested, "even the head of my College didn't mind my working usefully during the holidays."
"I don't care a damn about the head of your college. He isn't trying to get elected mayor while a midget nephew dances about on elephants' backs at the same time and in the same down. Do you realise that your disgraceful antics here have practically ruined my political career?"
I said I was extremely sorry.
"You must make up your mind here and now," said my uncle. "Either you abandon your dubious position at this travelling menagerie immediately, or you can consider from now on that we are not related in any way whatsoever.**
I did not know what to say. Was I to give up Sheila, and my assured position at the circus, and to bury myself for the holidays in a stuffy little grocer's shop? On the other hand, what of my studies? Was I able to renounce them completely? For, without the finacial support of my uncle, I should have no future except in the circus... I was aj a loss for words, and would most probably at a loss for words, and would most probably have capitulated to my uncle's demands, had not Sheila appeared at that moment. In her trunk she was carrying a large bunch of cornflowers and poppies-for me to have in my caravan. She immediately sensed the antagonism of my uncle, and looked at me enquiringly.
"Sheila, my dear," I said quitly. "Leave us for a moment. My uncle and I have serious matters to discuss in private."
Sheila looked attentively at my uncle, and bellowed a soft protest.
"Go and put the flowers in my caravan," I said. "I'll join you later."
My uncle watched me in speechless amazement. Sheila still stood there, eyeing me mournfully. She let out another below, which was almost a whimper. I understood the entreaty in her voice, a pain stabbed my heart at the thought that I had been on the point of agreeing to forsake her.
"Don't worry, darling," I said. "I shall never leave you. I'll be with you in a few minutes, and we'll go for a walk together."
Sheila kissed me on the cheek her trunk, and slowly walked off, satisfied. There was a silence while my uncle looked at me curiously.
"I think you're mad," he said at last.
"Now look, uncle."
"Stark raving mad. Mad as a coot."
"Uncle..."
"I'm no uncle of a weird stunded creature who prefers to talk to elephants rather than uphold the family honour. Disgusting wretch! To think of all the money I've wasted on vour education."
"Uncle..."
"Be quiet, you mad creature. And listen to me carefully now. From now on all connection between us is finally severed, so help me God that I should be forced to deny my own kin. Never again come near me. Never again dare to write to me or to claim that you are my nephew. Go your own way in the dreadful life you have chosen, and let us hope that your dreadful madness does not brings you to a violent end. Good-bye, and God have mercy on your soul."
With that, my uncle marched off stiffly, and 1 have never seen hinl since. I know that he faled in his political ambitions, but have never reproached myself for this. Each of us has his own destiny, however strange and however contradictory to the interest of those around one. I realised now that my life had taken a certain inexorable course, and I determined never to look back and never to indulge in futile regrets. I went back to my caravan, where Sheila was waiting for me patiently, and I told her what had happened. She sympathised with me, and led me off to the woods near-by, where we made lovein our own fashion-and lazed around, until the unpleasantness of my recent experience had softened in my mind and I felt able to carry on with demands of the present.
(George paused, gulped fown his whiskey, and took a great swig at his beer. One of the two women customers signalled to the barlan for another round of drinks. George resumed his story).
After that incident, George carried on, life continued very smoothly. The circus passed from town to town, and very_ soon there was only one engagement left in Eire-Dublinafter which we were to go on a tour of Spain, France and Italy. My my work was considered more than satisfactory, and my salary had been increased. I had nothing to spend money on, except for a replacement of clothes and presents for Sheila, so I had saved quite a bit, and I was looking forward to my first visit to Dublin.
An unexpected hitch occured in Dublin. It appeared that a rival entertainment company had booked another circus, and by an unfortunate coincidence the two circuses were scheduled to appear at the same ime in the capital. My boss was furious, and there were a great number of conferences with agents and lawyers. Finally a meeting was arranged between the owners of the two circuses, at which the respective agents and lawyers were present. The conference was a very stormy one, but at length good sense prevailed on both sides, and it was decided that, instead of indulging in useless competition!, the two circuses would pool all their resources and stage a joint programme in Dublin. The combination of the two circuses meant that the programme would be a very long one, and therefores prices could be increased and good value still given to the public for the extra charge.
The combination of the circuses proved to be tremendously successful. Both the proprietors were very pleased, and agreed that it suited both of them for the arrangement to continue. A contract of amalgamation was drawn up and signed. Some of the lesser arists of both circuses found themselves out of jobs as a result, but the majority were kept on, and some-myself included-on extra pay.
The amalgamation affected me personally only in one way. The other circus also had a troupe of four elephants, but all of whom were males. Three of the elephants immediately paired off with Sheila's three companions, and the leader of the male troupe naturally made advances to Sheila.
At first Sheila was most savage in her re jection of the male elephant's advances-he was called Samson, by the way-and would come to my caravan protesting at Samson's over-strenuous methods of courtship. By instinct, Samson discovered the relationship between Sheila and myself, and in the night he would come to spy on us. His jealousy of me was ferocious, but, being extremely intelligent, he bided his time and kept his emotions in cheek. One night, as I was on my way to see Sheila in her enclosure, I was suddenly seized and lifted high off the ground. I realized that it was Samson who had done this, and I was afraid that he might kill me. But that apparently was not his intention. Holding me high up, he made his way to Sheila's enclosure, and walked in. Seeing me in his grip, Sheila let out a bellow of terror, and rushed menacingly up to Samson. She stopped short, as Samson waved me in the air and made it clear that another step from Sheila would result in my being dashed with all his strength onto the ground.
Still waving me in the air, Samson began to speak to Sheila. Having become accustomed to elephant speech by now, I knew that he was telling her that unless she yielded to his advances at once, he would kill me there and then. The argument lasted a long time. Finally Sheila agreed, and, still holding me poised in his trunk, Samson mounted Sheila from behind, and gave vent to his suppressed passion.
Despite herself, Sheila responded to his passion, and, after the they had finished, she remained very quiet and thoughtful. The looks she cast at Samson were no longer hostile, and her eyes when they caught mine were sad and a trifle conscience-stricken. Samson let me down, and I went back to my caravan.
From then on, Samson appropriated Sheila's body completely, and I was excluded completely. He was not satisfied, however, with his physical victory at my expense-he was determined to achieve moral victory as well. I had become depressed and absentminded. Sheila avoided me, and when she met me always looked guilty and turned away. Once, in the arena, I caught her looking at me thought fully and I heard her sigh. I knew that she loved me still, -but the pull of raw nature was too strong for her.
Little by little Samson carried out a calculated campaign to discredit me. Several times, while I was on his back, he made me lose balance. He was always slow to respond to my orders, and frequently deliberated misunderstood what I was saying. The elephant trainer from the other circus, who at first had been recognised as my junior in talent, now began to assert himself, and Samson saw to it that his acts, as opposed to mine, always went off perfectly. A few days of this produced the inevitable result. I was hauled up before the two bosses, told that my act had gone to pieces and fired unceremoniously.
I packed my belongings and went to say good-bye to Sheila. Samson understood that I was going away and allowed me yo go in the enclosure and up to Sheila, but kept moving about near-by. Sheila regarded mo mournfullyas I stroked her face and scratched her ears. She kissed me lightly on the cheek, and bellowed lightly. I turned away, and left the enclosure. With a heavy heart, I left the circus, and obtained a room in Dublin. I had sayed quite a bit of money by now, but I did not know what I wanted to do next. That night I went with a prostitute, but obtained no satisfaction from her.
Next day, on an impulse, I boarded a boat for England. The Great Love of my life was over.
George sat down, and took a pull at his pint. There was silence. The two women customers were crying softly. Mrs. Smith surreptitiously ran her sleeve across her eyes.
"A wonderful story," said the Major. Thank you very much. I can only hope that the rest of us, in describing the most interesting sexual episodes in our lives can live up to the high standard you have set."
For a while the company drank and smoked. Another round of drinks was ordered, and then George got up and rapped the table. George bowed in the direction of one of the two women customers.
"Madam," he said, "permit me to ask you to be the next to entertaintain this company with an uninhibited account of an intersting sexual episode in your life."
The woman to whom George had spoken gulped down her whiskey looked nervously at her friend, got up, found she could not say anything and sat down again.
"Now come on Elsie," said her companion. "We can't let the small gentlemen down, neither of us, considering especially how open he's been about his own life, and how he's opened our eyes, too, to a lot of things about ourselves. I think this is a sort of purge we've both needed for a long time. Now come on, dear."
"All right," said Elsie. "I'm sorry I was so nervous. It's passing off now."
"Have another drink," said the Major's companion. She poured her own whiskey into Elsie's glass. Elsie gulped it down, followed it up with a few mouthfuls of beer, got up, and plunged straight into her story rather in the manner of a person diving into a cold swimming poolo.
The others composed themselves comfortably, to listen to Elsie's story.