Chapter 5
It's a funny thing, began Elsie, -hat for years one goes on in a certain way, and nothing much happens at all. And then suddenly one little thing crops up out of the ordinary, and it's quite exciting af first, but then another thing follows it, which is maybe on the way to being too exciting, and then, before you know where you are, everything's got changed and topsy-turvy, and you wonder whether you had any normal life and any peace at all. I suppose it's human nature, to feel like that, and I expect that's why people keep on voting for different governments, and, if they can't vote for them they have revolutions. What I mean is, it's human nature to want a change, and it's human nature to want a change from that change, too, because I suppose nothing ever works out as it should do, and everything always seems worse than it was before-and sometimes it is worse, of course, muchworse, but you can never really tell what's going to happen until it's too late. And that's why...
Her voice suddenly trailed off, and she looked round blankly and miserably.
"Go on, Elsie," encouraged her companion. George waved for another round of drinks at the same time.
"I've lost the thread of what I was going to say," said Elsie helplessly.
"Think of the six expressions," said George. "Which of them represents the basic theme of your story?"
"Oh, dear," said Elsie. She gulped down the whiskey which the barman set in front of her.
"Think," said George. "Cunt, cock, fuck, toss-off, suck-off, shit."
"It wasn't the last one," said Elsie lamely. "Nor the two before that."
"So ti's cunt, cock, fuck," said George.
"That's right," Elsie said faintly. "Oh, dear..."
"She's nervous the poor dear," said the Major's companion. I'll say those words for you: cunt, cock, fuck. Now you try. "You'll get over your nerves once you've said them."
"Well,-er-cunt oh, dear."
"Go on," said Ella. "You're doing well."
**01j9 dear_cr-^^ooc^."
"Good girl!" said the Major. "Now the third one."
"And er well, I suppose er fuck, then..."
"That's better," said George. "Now all three together.
Elsie took a deep breath. "Cuntcockfuck!" she blurted out. "There I did it."
"Again," said George. "Slowly this time."
Cunt cock fuck."
George made Elsie repeat the three words another half dozen times. Little by little she lost her nervous manner.
"What is it you're got between your legs?" asked Ella.
"Cock-I mean cunt. NO..."
"Cunt," said her companion. "You 6ee Elsie, it's not bad at all. In fact I quite like saying it. Cunt, cock, fuck. Cock, cock, fuck, fuck, fuck. There, you see."
"I don't mind either now," said Ebrie. "Cunt, cock, fuck. And I don't mind using the words, just like the small gentleman did. He fucked me, I fucked her,-I mean him. His cock went into my cunt. My cunt went into his cock. No, that's wrong, isn't it? But it doesn't matter. My cunt went over his cock. I sucked his balls. He tossed me off. I sucked him off with my cock. I shitted on his cunt. His cunt pressed against my balls which I was sucking off...'*
Her voice became shriller and shriller. She had obviously had far too much to drink, and now the alcohol had suddenly liberated years of suppressed hysteria.
"Take it easy, girl," said the Major.
"We've got plenty of time." Elsie swallowed her companion's whiskey.
"Don't worry Major," she said. I can manage very nicely, I can even shit on my balls if I want to, so there. Now where was I? That's right It wasn't toss-off-suck-off-shit, itwas cunt-cock-fuck. Lots of cock-cocks, and lots of fuck-fucks and my cunt was in the middle, because they'd put me on a table, and they were all fucking my cunt in turn. There they were, all with their cocks out, sitting round the table and drinking. And it was all my own fault because my father said the town was dangerous when the troops were just on the point of leaving for the front. And after I became pregnant, he kept on asking me the man's name }so I gave him about a dozen names, because I knew them all. My father went mad then, but when I had triplets, he nearly went off his head. After that he started proceedings on my behalf against the soldiers-all of them in the same Unit. But then the lawyers stopped the case going to court, because they said I hadn't got a chance and in any case the publicity in the press would be awful. My mother took my side, and my father left me alone, but he hardly ever spoke to me again, and the boys grew up, and they're all doing well know, but I've never had a man since then. And it's not easy to be fucked by a dozen men one day, and then to have any more men at all. So I've had a rotten time, and I've never talked about it until now, and I'm glad I can talk about it? because I like cocks. I like cocks in my cunt. I like to be fucked. I love cocks. I love cock. I love cocks. Somebody give me a cock, please. Major, give me your cock, please. The young lady won't mind just once. Major, give me your cock, please. And I want the small gentleman's cock, too. And the young man's cock. And the barman's cock. And all the other cocks. Millions of cocks. Millions of cocks. Lovely big cocks and lovely hairy balls. Cocks and balls, cocks and balls, cocks and balls..."
"Time, gentlemen, please" screamed Mrs. Smith.
"Cocks and balls, gentlemen, please," Elsie.
"Time, gentlemen, please," Mrs. Smith repeated frantically. "Time, ladies."
"Cocks and balls, gentlemen, please," mimicked Elsie. "Cunt, ladies."
"Hold your tongue," shouted Mrs. Smith.
"Hold your cock," shouted back Elsie. Suddenly she collapsed in her chair.
"I'll take her home in a taxi," said her companion.
"Maybe our little evening was top much for her," suggested George.
"Not at all," replied Elsie friend. "It's just what she wanted. Just what I wanted, too. What time do we meet here tomorrow night?"
"I suggest at seven-thirty," said George. "Is that convenient for everybody?"
There were murmurs of assent, handshakes all round, Elsie and her friend were seen onto a taxi, and the others went off in their different ways. George and Ella found themselves alone again.
"Your place or mine?" said Ella.
"My place. It's only just round the corner."
They walked to George's flat. What happened there, the reader already knows.