Chapter 3

Before I came to England, at the age of twenty began George, "I was student at Mulligatawny University in Southern Eire.

I was actually studying gynaecology as I decided that my height and preferences, made me particularly suitable for this branch of medicine.

My father and mother being dead, my uncle, who was a small grocer in Wexford, contributed to the cost of my studies. During the holidays, however, I was obliged either to help him in his shop or to fend for myself. Having had a surfeit of serving groceries during previous holidays, I decided one year, when I had already been at the University three years, to obtain temporary employment myself.

As it happened, a travelling circus was passing through Mulligatawny, about a week before the end of term, and, in company with some friends, I decided to see the show.

The circus was of good reputation, and many of the. numbers were very well done. There were several clowns of small stature, which caused me some embarrassment as the clowns, upon seeing me, did not hesitate to draw the attention of the audience to me in various uncouth ways. I suppose I might as well use the term dwarfs, because that is what they were. Altogether, there were four of them, the smallest being not very much over three feet tall. During the interval my friends from the university and I went over the road to a tavern, and had as many drinks as we could manage in the time. Owing to my state of exasperation, having been rather humiliated by the clowns, I drank even more then my friends, lacing the customary glasses of Guinness with numerous double whiskeysto which, at the time, I was not as accustomed as I am now.

We returned to the circus, and the second half of the performance had not been under way very long before the clowns appeared again. They had obviously worked out a strategy to discomfort me as much as possible, and the roars of laughter from the audience, at jokes made at my expense, soon convinced me that, in the interests of my dignity, I had either better leave the show altogether, or else find a method to put the clowns in their place, by humiliating them even more than they had humiliated me.

Now, as luck would have it, I was very soon given the opportunity to do this. After the clowns went off, as they did before the beginning of each act (to re-appear after the act agaain), a troupe of elephants ambled onto the stage, in charge of a muscular Hindu girl dressed in nothing beyond a turban and some nominal pieces of gauzy lace here and there. I noticed at once that all the elephants were females. One of them, moreover, seemed to have some difficulty in moving her hind legs, and every so often would stop and go through a set of motions very akin to scratching, her trunk clutching desperately at the organ between her vast thighs. Something struck a cord in my mind, and I at once understood what was the matter. Now I don't know if anyone else here has had any practical experience of gynaecology, but .the work of gynaecologist consists usually to a very great extent in the extractions from the cunts of adolescent girls of such extraneous bodies as knife-handles, spoons, torch batte ries, tooth brushes, pieces of wood of surprising roughness, case-handles, combs, and various other articles which the maidens use as substitutes for the male member (which the artificial conventions of modern society withold from their proximity.) In the same way, no doubt, the young elephant had inserted some object into her cunt for the purposes, but subsequently, her trunk still being too short perhaps, or the object itself being too deeply embedded, found herself in the same uncomfortable plight as that of any very young human female who has to apply for medical assistance in having an extraneous object removed from her fanny.

As the act went on, I became more and more certain that I was right. The elephant became more and more irritable, dislocated the act as such, and several times seemed to be on the point of becoming dangerous both to the Hindu Trainer and to the audience. As soon as the act was over, I slipped out and made my way to the back back of the tent, and very soon found where the elephants were quartered. The Hindu, who was in charge of the beasts, seemed to be having some trouble with the elephant whose behaviour had attracted my attention. To tame the beast the Hindu kept shouting and waving his arms. The elephant, already exasperated beyond endurance, could not stand the additional irritant, and suddenly clasped the Hindu in her trunk and hurled him to the far end of the small enclosure terrified, the Hindu picked himself up and, limping, hurried off.

I entered the enclosure and went straight up to the elephant. She regarded me belligerently. I stopped in front of her sat down on the ground and, without saying a word, made a hole in the ground, took out my pipe and slowly dropped it into the hole. Then I went through a slow pantomime of desperately trying to retrieve the pipe out of the hole, I repeated the pantomime over and over again, and the great beast watched me attentively, its little eyes no longer hostile. Eventually it understood the import of my gestures. It let out a great bellow, and hopeessly thrashed its great trunk between its thighs. The meaning of my pantomime now clearly having been understood. I now uttered a sudden loud scream, then stood perfectly still for a few moments, and then, burying my hand deep into the hole which I had made in the ground I extricated the pipe and held it up for the elephant to see. I repeated this pantomime also, laying great stress on absolute silence and absolute stillness after I had let out my scream preparatory to extricating the pipe from the ground. At each scream, the great beast eyed me sagely, and kept perfectly still. She understood -or so I hoped -that I proposed to help her and that I could not help her unless she kept perfectly still during the operation.

At last it seemed to me that it was perfectly safe for me to go ahead. I walked right up to her head, and let out the scream to which she was now accustomed. She kept perfectly still. I walked round, picked up a stool I had noticed on the ground, stood it just behind her, climbed up on the stool, and taking a tin of vaseline from my pocket, greased my arm right up to my shoulder. I now let out the same scream as before, waited a moment, then slowly I intruded my arm into her gigantic cunt. She obviously understood perfectly what I was trying to do, because the muscles inside her cunt, with their colossal powers of suction (which could have torn my arm off in a second) did not as much as flicker as my arm slowly progressed upwards. My fingers encountered something hard. I felt round the object which seemed to be some sort of a wooden handle, and followed it up. I could not reach the end of the object, so I tried to pull it. It was stuck fast. Suddenly I realised what it was I was holding: it was obviously an umbrella, which had became unfolded. As soon as I knew what I had to deal with, the rest was simple. I slid the object up, instead of down, and turned it round and round. After a few attempts the umbrella must have folded up, because I was able to draw it out quite easily.

I got off the stool, went round to the elephant's head, and showed her the umbrella. Very gingerly, she took it from me, then turned away and smashed the cause of her discomfort on the ground. After that she trod on it a few times, till there was nothing left of it except pulp.

My task being completed, I now decided to relieve myself at the edge of the enclosure. I took out my cock, and pissed against the fence. The elephant had come round to where I was, and regarded me with sympathetic interest. "When I had finished, I was just about to slip my cock away, when her trunk came out gently and stopped me. She took my hand away very lightly and placed it at my side, then she very carefully took hold of my cock in her trunk, and sucked at it gently, until it was hard and throbbing. Her touch, considering more over that she was an elephant, was incredibly light and gentle. No woman I have met before or since has been able to equal the delicacy of that touch. I abandoned myself to the pleasure of the experience. All too soon the hot spunk was bursting out violently. With remarkable Understanding she increased the power of her suction at the right moment, and stopped it when the last convulsion of the orgasm had finished. Then, when my cock was soft again, she, she carefully placed it back against my balls.

Rather stunned by the whole experience, I buttoned my trousers and returned to the circus tent, where my companions greeted me with some surprise, as they had thought that the public taunts of the clowns had driven me away entirely. An acrobatic act was just finishing, and I read on my programme that the in the next act the elephants were due to appear again. As the acrobats were leaving the arene, the clowns came running in, tumbling over the ground, pushing each other and turning somersaults. When they saw that I had returned, their glee was almost fiendish. The smallest one climbed over the seats, and grabbed me by the sleeve.

"Come on," he said. "Where have you been? What do you think we pay you fourpence a day for, you good-for-nothing?"

"Let me go, you horrible wretch," I cried. I'm nothing to do with you. I happen to be a student of medicine, if you must know." But all the other clowns Were now swarming over me, and the audience in the tent had given way to tumultuous laughter.

"I'm the head of the troupe," said the largest clown, who was actually about my height, "and my orders are that you return to duty immediately. And for dodging your work today, you'll clear up the horse-dung for a whole week with your bare hands."

I tried to protest, but they dragged me onto the arena. My own friends were as paralysed with laughter as the rest of the audience, and did nothing to help me. It must also be remembered that my friends had had plenty to drink, and therefore did not view my predicament in a normal light.

To my horror, I found myself in the middle of the arena, with a ridiculous tattered top hat on my head, a pair of vast down-at* heel Wellingtons on my feet, a lot of brightly coloured ribbons tied round my waist, daubs of paint on my face, and a ragged umbrella in my hands.

Blind with rage, I swiped at my evil adversaries with the umbrella, but they were too nimble for me and kept out of reach easily. They now began to sing a ribald song, and to pelt me with rubber balls which were attached by elastic to their hands. Naturally the audience assumed that I was part of the act. I turned to my own friends, and saw that they were convulsed with laughter.

"You swine," I shouted, "why don't you come down and help me?"

At this the audience, and my friends in particular, became absolutely hysterical with laughter. Waving the umbrella, I now made a rush to where my friends were sitting. I was furious with them. "What's the matter?" one of them shouted out. "Anybody would think we knew you, you ghastly little dwarf."

"How dare you say that?" I shouted back, when we've been sitting at the same desk at lectures for the last three years?"

"Stay where you belong, you scrubby little freak," he shouted. "Who on earth would want to sit next to a stinking monster like you for three years?"

"That's right," said another of my friends loudly. "We don't want dwarfs and hunch? backs in our college. This is where you belong you snivelling horror."

"I'm not a hunchback," I screamed.

"Whatever you are, we don't want you near us," said a third student.

"I thought you were my friends," I said, in sudden cold despair.

"What cheek" came the reply. "He thought we were his friends!" And once again, they all roared with laughter, the audience joining in lustily.

I knew that I myself had drunk too much, but the episode with the elephant had sobered me up very considerably. Yet I wondered now whether I was not imagining everything that was happening. Surely my friends even if they were drunk, could not be as malignant as all that? Or could it be that they had always hated me, and had always laughed at me behind my back, and that the incidents in the circus had in some strange way forced their hatred out into the open?

Neither I nor the clowns had noticed that the next act was on the point of starting. The elephants were already in the arena, and the

Hindu trainer, still limping, and looking very pale and nervous, was shouting at the clowns, telling them to go... It was a this moment that something happened, which was to change the whole course of my life and to colour my mentality for ever.

As the clowns clutched at my sleeves and my hair, trying to drag me off with them, the elephant I had helped in the enclosure suddenly trumpeted loudly and rushed towards us. She picked them up in her trunk and hurled them away rom me. Then her trunk closed gently round my waist and she placed me upon her hack. The Hindu tried to intercede, but found himself also thrown out of the was. The audience applauded tumultuously.

The proprietor of the circus, a tall shifty man with the traditional top hat and waxed moustaches, now came up to us. I stroked the elephant's ears, as I didn't want him to be injured as well.

In a low voice, which only I could hear, he said: "I don't know who you are, and I don't care. From now on you've got a job with me for life. And now keep it up, the audience all think it's part of the act. It's terrific."

"But I'm a medical student," I protested. "I'm not qualified for circus life."

"Nonsense," he replied. "You were born for it. In any case there are thousands of doctors in the world, but you're the first dwarf I've met who could twist an elephant like Sheila round his little finger. Now come on. Carry on with the act."

I recalled my decision not to spend the holidays that year in my uncle's grocer's shop. This seemed to be a heaven-sent opportunity. In any case, work wasn't easy to get in Eire then, and I should have considered myself quite lucky if I'd managed to get through the holidays on a series of odd-jobs. All right, I thought, I'd do it. Besides, it looked as if I might pick up some quite hefty pay if I stayed with the circus.

I leaned down to the proprietor. "I agree" I said. "You can count on me." He smiled, bowed to the audience, and walked off.

I had no worries about the act. I simply patted Sheila's head, and she did the rest, and the other elephants did exactly what she did, standing up on their hind legs, climbing on litle boxes, ambling roud in a sort of dance, and all the rest of it.

To cries of "Encore" I rode out of the arena on Sheila's back, followed by the other elephants. Once they were all in the enclosure, I patted Sheila's head, slipped off her back, made sure that she and the other elephants had food and water at their disposal, then I went up to Sheila and said: "We're working together now. I'm just going to see the boss here. I'll be back soon." She understood perfectly, and seemed completely content.

The show was nearly over, when I returned to the tent. The proprietor shook my hand warmly. "The Hindu has lost his nerve," he said. "He'll be no good after this, so I've had to fire him. You start as from this evening. We're doing a week here, after that we're moving south."

"But the term at the University doesn't end before next week," I said.

"Who cares about your University?" he replied. "What are book studies compared to the exercise of natural artistic talent."

In the end I agreed, on condition that I would first get the consent of my College Head. A taxi was ordered for me at once and a five-pound note-an advance on my salary-was placed in my hand. In the meantime the Hindu's caravan was to be prepared for me to move in that night. I was rather sorry for the Hindu, but the way my own so-called friends had treated me that evening did not dispose me to charity. I went back to the College, got hold of the Head, impressed the desirability of my accepting this opportunity for gainful employment during the holidays upon him, and obtained his permission to leave a week before the end of term. With the help of the taxidriver, my meagre belongings were soon packed, and within another hour I was back at the circus. The Hindu had gone, and I moved into the caravan, which I found quite pleasant. On my instructions the caravan was moved so as to be right by the enclosure where the elephants were quartered. Sheila bellowed with delight as she saw me emerge from the caravan, and after caressing her ears and talking to her for some minutes, I slipped off to the tavern across the road for a night-cap. On my way, I passed the clowns, who now treated me with great respect.

In the tavern, I had a good drink, snubbed my friends some of whom were still hanging around, and went back to my caravan got un dressed and got into my bunk. My new life, and a strange one it was to be, bad started...

George paused, Cook a swig at his beer, swallowed down his whiskey, and then finished the beer, The Major immediately ordered another round. All the people round the table had been listening to George in rapt silence, fascinated.

The Major's companion said. "It's a wonderful story. Please go on. I'm sure there's a lot more to come."

"Yes, indeed," said George. "A lot more." He took a pull at the new pint in front of him, smiled at Ella who was leaning against him. Under the table, her hand was playing lightly with his cock through the trousers.

The Major offered cigars all around. The men and Ella accepted. The barman was leaning over the bar, and even Mrs. Smith had temporarily forgotten her terror of strong language. The two women customers, their earlier disapproval now completely gone, sat dreamily by the fire, enjoying the drinks.

George took a few more pulls at his beer, and continued his story.