Case History 3

Subject: Mona Age: Nineteen

INTERVIEW ONE

The girl came in with an almost sullen expression on her face. She was extremely attractive, a brunette with long hair, brown eyes, a very sensual mouth. Her figure was quite impressive, too, with a well-sized bosom. The outstanding feature was the sullen look in her eyes, as if something had happened to her that left her quite resentful, just thinking about it. What struck me however, was the combination of her look of innocence and the sullen expression in her eyes.

How can I tell you, doctor, about this thing that happened to me. It's left me confused, feeling strange. I no longer seem to understand myself. Like I am two different people. Like one is frightened and horrified by what happened to me. And the other, finding it terribly exciting, something that just turned on my body in such a far-out way, that I wonder if I will ever make it back to the way I used to feel.

It started with this guy I met at a nightclub. Frank. A sort of rough-looking fella, not at all the kind that I'm usually fascinated by. He was dressed well, though, and he had these very intense dark eyes that sort of turned me on. He looked like he had exciting ideas in back of his head, and for some mysterious reason, I got fascinated. Like I wanted to know more about him.

He bought me a couple of drinks at the bar, and seemed to have a good flow of money, didn't seem tight with his money. He had a rough edge to his personality that for some reason I found interesting. And yet, the men that I have dated in the past were completely unlike him. I like more sensitive men, slender men, polite men.

Yet there I was drinking with him, turned on by his intense dark eyes, and wondering what it would be like to be close to him.

So when he told me he'd like to take me to his pad where he had some great jazz records, I told him it would be okay. I was curious to see where he lived, what he lived in, and what it would be like to get close to him.

He had an interesting place, surprisingly well-furnished. I didn't know where he got his money and didn't really care. I really didn't want to get involved with him, I was just interested in a one-shot experience. He was cut too rough for my tastes, but I just was intrigued.

We had had plenty to drink at the bar, and when we got to his place, he pulled out some more gin, and made a heavy martini for me. I was fairly drunk and feeling restless. I figured it would be a sex thing. After all, you don't go up to a guy's house, after such drinking, and expect nothing will happen.

And I did want it to happen. I was turned on by the rough edge to him. Like, you might be turned on to a truck driver. The masculine thing, you know what I mean, doctor.

We listened to the jazz, and it was good jazz. It always makes me erotic to listen to it. I wondered when he would make a move.

But he didn't make a move.

That surprised me. He would talk about this and that, play more records, and yet didn't make a move. He would fill my glass with booze, and then some more, never putting a hand on me.

I began to get very drunk, and very disappointed. I wondered if I had happened on a gay bird who just wanted to look and not touch.

I began to try and turn him on. "What do you do for excitement in this dead hole?" I asked. "What dead hole?" His eyes glittered dangerously. And I liked that.

"This dead hole, this one, here." I goaded him, hoping he'd grab me and start fucking me.

"The only dead hole around here is you," he said, his eyes filled with rage.

That almost knocked me out. I mean, I expected sex, but not an insult. No insults. I don't cotton to that, doctor. , "Where the hell do you think you're going, you slut?"

I couldn't believe my ears. The damn insults. "I'm a nice kid who likes a bit of sex, but I don't go for the brutal bit." I glared at him.

"You creep. Who the hell do you think you're talking to. With that foul mouth!"

He stood and slapped my face, hard! "Shut your fucking mouth. I'll tell you when to open it!"

I was shocked out of my skin. It was the last thing in the world that I expected, from him. I mean, I could tell he was a weirdo, somehow, but weirdo in a reasonable way, not this. He looked dangerous.

I was hurt, humiliated, but I didn't want to cross him at that moment. I figured that he was drunk and therefore violent, and would do something terrible if I crossed him. So, I sat down on the chair.

"That's right, cunt. Just do as your told." Then, watching me closely, to see that I didn't do anything sudden, he pulled out some ropes from his back pocket.

"Don't yell," he warned, "or I'll bust you."

And then he tied my hands together behind the chair. Then he pulled my jeans off, so that I was there in my panties. My black nylon panties.

"It's the right color," he said as if to himself, with satisfaction.

Then he tied my legs, spreading my thighs apart, one leg to each leg of the chair. "Listen," he said, "if you make one sound, I'll gag you. I don't want to have to do that."

"What are you going to do?" I was terribly frightened. I couldn't quite figure him yet. What did he want? Was he mad? Or was this his sex thing.

You see, doctor, I'm not an idiot. I have heard of men who get their bangs from tying up women, and working their will upon them. I began to sense that this character fitted in with that sort. The roughness of him. Now, I understood the stuff that I sensed in him. His desire to be a rough, tough master of women.

Well, he was cracked. I was convinced of it. And I would let him play his little game, then get the hell out and try not to ever get caught with a rough playmate like that again.

Meanwhile, I had some curiosity as to what he intended to do.

I mean, I was willing to have sex with him. Why did he find it urgent to tie me? You see, what I mean doctor?

He studied me, then, and then he pulled my laced corset down so that my tits hung over them. His eyes glittered when he looked at them.

"Dead hole!" he said to himself in a rage.

Then I realized that he had taken that as some deadly insult. As if I had done something horrible to him. I mean, all I wanted to do was get him excited.

I had no idea that he would go off the deep end.

"You damn cunts are all alike. You slash at the guys and think you can get away with anything.

"I didn't mean-"

He slapped my face.

"I didn't say you could talk yet. I'll tell you when to use your mouth, you little slut!"

I wanted to cry. My eyes filled with tears. But it didn't seem to reach him. He exulted. He seemed delighted.

"Fucking little cunt," he said, gritting his teeth. Then he went around the chair, looking me over. He came in front of me, stared at my tits. Suddenly, he slapped them, hard! Twice!

I let out a yell of pain.

He then pulled out a gag and put it over my mouth, so that I couldn't make a sound.

"I told you not to scream, you little bitch. Always trying to make trouble. Fucking sluts. Always trying to rip the guys up. We got to teach you cunts!"

He kept raving like that. As if we had done something terrible to him, and that he wanted to make us pay.

My tit hurt, and my face hurt where he hit me.

Then he unzipped his pants and took out his cock and balls.

He had a huge, monstrous cock. I had no idea that it would be that huge. Purple with rage, too, the thing was, staring at me.

I had these terrible mixed feelings. Hating him, and yet feeling a longing for his gigantic cock. I thought what it could do to my pussy, if I had that.

He came over to my face, close. He kept thinking hard, as if he wanted to take the gag out of my mouth, and have me suck his cock. Much as I hated him, I would have done it, just to get him to pop his load. I felt that once he did that, he would absolutely turn me loose!

What he did, then, was rub his cock against my cheek. Then he rubbed his balls against my face.

"You want it, don't you young slut!"

The funny thing is, that I did. I was wild with desire to get hold of his cock and suck it. I found my strange position, helpless, and tied up strangely appealing.

He was the master, the wild, terrible master who had me at his mercy, and ready to do anything.

I felt eager to do anything for him.

I was crazy, it seemed to me, to have such feelings toward this brute. Who had hit me, and tied me up. But I did have them, doctor.

Then, he untied one of my legs, and then the other, and pulled my panties off, so that my pussy was out. He tied my legs again.

I was hoping that he would fuck me. I really did. I figured if only he fucked me, then this terrible situation would end. I would be through with it. But he didn't fuck me.

He just paraded in front of me with his cock and balls out, every so often, rubbing his cock, pointing it at me, like you might a gun.

He stood in front of my face. And he rubbed his cock, and stared at me.

Then, he looked down at my pussy. He stuck his finger in, hard, so that it hurt. I squawked, through the gag.

He became even rougher. He seemed to get kicks out of giving me pain. That was his thing, I began to realize.

He was a monster who could only enjoy himself if he gave me pain. I really felt now that I understood him.

He had been watching me. Now he took the gag off my mouth.

It was a heavenly relief. My mouth muscles had been going in a paralysis, it seemed to me.

"One wrong peep out of you, and back it goes," he warned.

"Damn cunts, always yelling, always wanting it their way, always fucking you up so you don't know which end is up. They gotta be taught a lesson!"

I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or to himself.

But I just couldn't get to his head.

He glared at me, trying to make a judgment of what to do. He had his huge cock in his hand, and was gently rubbing it up and down. My eyes focused on it. It looked so monstrous, big and powerful.

He suddenly turned it up against my lips.

"Open your fucking mouth and suck it,' he commanded.

I was paralyzed. I couldn't make a move.

He opened his hand, ready to slap me.

I opened my mouth. He shoved his cock deep into my mouth, to the back of my throat.

He held it there, almost choking me with it.

"Not one fucking wrong move, kid, or I'll blow you away!"

I had almost thought of biting it clean off, T was that furious. But he knew what was in my head.

Then he brought his face near me and snarled. "Now, start sucking."

I was frightened out of my wits, by what I thought was a madman.

But I would do anything he wanted. I felt he could go crazy and do me some terrible hurt.

So I started sucking.

Instantly, he grabbed my cheek and pinched it hard.

"Suck gentle, kid, or I'll rip you. Treat that thing with care. Don't bruise it, don't hurt it!"

He just knew the right thing to say, because I wanted to rub my teeth over his cock, to tear it up, but he knew that.

So I sucked his cock gently, very gently!

He watched me closely while I did it. Every time I did the slightest thing he didn't like, he lifted his hand to whack me. I took care not to upset him in any way.

He watched me sucking his cock with no expression on his face, mostly studying me. I didn't know if he was enjoying it or not. The trouble is that I began to enjoy it.

I loved that huge monster cock in my mouth. It was turning me on, even though I loathed the guy. I hated him to roughing me up, for treating me like dirt.

After all, I had not done anything to him. Why was his mistreating me like that. It was a madness.

I was sucking him gently, as he had instructed me, then he suddenly started to shove it into me mouth hard and rough as if he were trying to rip the back of my throat off.

He banged against me and hit me with that huge monster meat, as if he were trying to drive it down my throat. I almost gagged. But it was strangely exciting. I felt he was violating more than my throat. He was trying to violate something inside me, more precious. It was a mystery.

But I began to enjoy sucking that huge monster thing, just because it turned on these wild feelings in me. And that was what he picked up. That in spite of his violent thrusts, I was enjoying it.

That made him stop, right in his tracks.

He didn't want me to enjoy myself! That was the crazy thing about it.

When he pulled his giant cock out of my mouth, I felt a terrible loss, as if something precious to me had got away. It baffled me. Why should I care about this stranger's cock, and feeling a sense of loss. I mean, who was this Frank to me.

Nothing! Just a weird guy who thought I had hurt his feelings.

And was trying to pay me back. Revenge himself. How? By fucking me in the mouth when I didn't want it.

But when I began to enjoy it, then he pulled it away. It was strange, crazy. But he was twisted in his head, I could easily see that.

"You're enjoying it too fucking much, you goddam cunt. You like sucking my cock, don't you? You don't deserve it! "

He stood in front of my face and stroked his cock with his hand, as if tempting me with its nearness. It was huge and swollen, and pink, and it had the juices of my mouth on it.

I felt terribly turned on, looking at it. My throat ached to have it back in there. But I didn't dare to show it. I tried to mask it. For he always was in there, studying the look in my eyes, reading my feelings. It seemed very important for him to know what I felt.

This guy then paraded back and front of me, stroking his cock, and staring at me, making a jab at me. And watching me open my mouth to receive him.

Then he would just laugh.

"Slut! Can't wait to get your mouth around my cock, heh? No. You ain't getting it that easy."

Then it seemed he wanted me to talk.

"You think I'm a bad guy, don't you. But who started the abuse. You or me? Who called my home a dead hole? Until that time, I hadn't laid a hand on you. I was treating you with respect. Then suddenly, you're coming on with shit. You threw shit on me, didn't you?"

He stared at me, waiting for my answer.

"Well. Do you want me to talk?"

"Yes-cunt, talk. Justify it. Tell me why you put me down. Put down the place that I live in."

"Well, Frank." I tried to be personal with him. I used his name. Like I didn't want him to think that I thought all this was a horror. I wanted him to think that I was friendly. That I understood him. Just so he wouldn't do horrible things to me.

"Well, Frank," I said, "It was really because I was attracted to you that I said that. I wanted to get involved with you. I wanted to have sex with you."

His lip curled and he sneered. "Oh, you wanted to have sex, so you said. What do you do for excitement in this dead hole?" That's a laugh! That's a riot!"

And he shoved his cock up against my lips and rubbed it on them.

I wanted to snap at him, to tear his cock right off with my teeth, I was so furious for the moment.

His face grew hard. "Watch your fangs, cunt. Or I'll file them down. You'll have to gum your food!"

I was terrified to hear him say such things. I really felt he could be capable of it!

Filing down my fangs! What a wild idea!

And he could read me. he could read my thoughts. "Oh, so you think that's terrible, do you? But you don't think it terrible for you to rip off the top of my cock? That's not terrible!"

And, when I thought about it, doctor, he was right. After all, I wanted to snap off the top of his cock. That would leave him in a pretty miserable condition, wouldn't it?

He walked around, his cock and balls out of his pants, and talked. Then he came up in front of me, looked at my cunt, out in the open, stretched apart, because my legs were strapped each to the chair. And he pointed to it.

"You fucking women think because you got that goddam slit, you got the world by the balls. You think all you got to do is spread your legs, and the guys will kill themselves to get it. You think you got the guys in your power. Well, that's a lotta shit. Some of us guys know how to treat you cunts. Put you where you belong."

Suddenly he went down to one of my legs, untied it from the chair, then tied it to the other foot, so that my legs were now close together.

He untied my hands from the chair, but tied them behind my back.

He lifted me from the chair and brought me into the middle of the room.

I stood there, wondering what would happen now.

But it was hard to stand like that. My balance wavered.

I started to fall toward the rug. He caught my fall so that I was in his arms for a moment. His arms were hard, his body muscular. I had no idea how strong he was. It was exciting. I felt totally at his mercy.

He let me go down to the rug slowly.

I lay there on my side, my hands behind me, my feet together, looking up at him.

I felt so humiliated, lying down there, that some of my anger came up out of my eyes.

I could see that turned him on. "Oh, you poor thing. You feel mistreated? I'll show you something about mistreatment"

He took his pants off. He had a powerful pair of buttocks and strong legs. He was really a physical specimen. If I didn't hate him that much, I might feel powerful desires for him.

Then, he sat on my face! Like that!

I couldn't believe it. He planted his muscular ass right over my face, so that I was up against the split of his buttocks.

"Kiss my fucking ass," he said. His voice was low, compelling, pretty frightening.

"Kiss it!"

My heart beat with fear. I felt I was dealing with a madman. I kissed it.

"Kiss it again and again. Keep on kissing it. Like it's the most beautiful face in the world. Like you love doing it!"

I kept on doing it. It was unbelievable. But the more that I did it, the more exciting it became.

"Put your tongue on my ass! Lick it!"

I was horrified, yet fascinated. I did it. I put my tongue on his tail. I licked his ass. I did it again and again.

And again, the experience became interesting to me. I felt as if I was doing all sorts of forbidden, terrible things. And yet although I started out with this tremendous fear and horror-the feeling would change.

I would be sunk in this feeling of being degraded and pleasure. The crazy mixed up thing. It never would be anything straight. Like straight horor. Part of me craved it, after I did it for a while.

Here was this powerful, low brute, commanding me to do things to him that should horrify me. But instead, I found myself sexually aroused by them.

My cunt, actually, was juiced up by what I found myself doing.

Then, again, as if he understood, from the way I was licking his ass, that I was beginning to get some erotic pleasure from it, again he took it away.

Like taking away something that you enjoyed, like a parent taking away a piece of pastry from a kid, just because he liked it!

That's what I felt.

He walked around, and looked at my ass, then. He studied it, like it was some fascinating specimen.

"Talk about your 'dead hole'. What have you got there? A dead hole. Why don't I make it a bit lively, huh. And then slapped my ass. At first it hurt. I almost cried out. But I kept my teeth clenched. I didn't want to get more of it." He would hurt me, always the more, just because I made sounds. He wanted me silent. Otherwise, it would be the gag again. That that hurt my mouth terribly.

I wanted my mouth free, too, I must confess, because perhaps he would put his cock in it again. I wanted a free mouth and tongue, so that if he would only put his gigantic cock in my mouth, I would have the ecstasy of sucking it. That's what was in my mind. So I clenched my teeth while he slapped my ass.

He slapped it, and bawled me out for the 'dead hole' remark. I think he used that one damned line over and over, to let him do the most abusive things to me. Surely, it had to be some excuse. It couldn't be that I had just hurt his feelings.

Again and again, he slapped my ass. And doctor the same terrible thing began to happen in my mind.

The pain became blocked out by the sexual pleasure that went streaking through my loins. I actually felt an intensifying pleasure in my cunt. I think that I began to crave his ass slapping, yearning for it, more and more, because of the strange excitement in my cunt.

"Dead hole," he hissed in my ear and he slapped my ass. "I'm making your dead hole come to life, ain't I? that big, white fucking ass of yours. I suppose you think that I'm finally going to stick my cock in your hungry cunt and satisfy it. That's really what you're waiting for.

"Just like you'd like me to shove my cock down your throat. That would make you deliriously happy. I know!"

And, doctor, he hit it right on the head. It would. I was burning with lust. I wanted him to shove his cock into me. Somewhere, anywhere, to give me release from the terrible build-up of passions, the great sex frustration that was all over my body.

I needed release. I needed his cock. All the terrible frustrations that I had endured needed to get off! And the only way would be through his cock.

But he knew it. He was so crafty and clever. He had outwitted me every way I could think of. What he had been doing, all the time, was turning me on! With his clever tricks. With his abuse. His cruel treatment. His twistings and temptings. He had raised my sex desires to the highest pitch.

I wanted him. I wanted his cock. The lust was unbearable just about this time.

He had been studying me, as I have said, closely. And now he seemed to see the despair and the crazy passions in me.

A gleam of triumph appeared in his eyes.

He untied one of my legs so that I could spread.

And he said, "I know you want my cock. You think I'm going to give you my cock in your mouth and in your cunt. But it's not going to be the way you think."

He then tied one of my legs to the bottom of the couch, the other to the heavy chair, so that I was spread eagled on my belly. He then put the gag back in my mouth.

My heart was beating like a trip hammer. It was impossible to describe the excitement that shot through me. I felt we were coming to some climax, that he would fuck my cunt from behind.

But it was not to be!

He wanted to fuck my ass!

My ass! My virgin ass. I had never had a cock up my ass. I have a tiny asshole. Some guys, in the past, have tried to get past the open gate but they never could.

Could it be possible that he intended to get his huge cock into my delicate little tail?

"I'm going to bust your virgin ass," he said, and he waved his thick monstrous cock in front of my eyes, just to let me know what a violation it would be. That he would be ripping the living hell out of my ass with that huge hunk of meat.

It was a good thing that he had put that gag in me, because I would have set up a terrible yell!

I shook my head. My eyes pleaded with him.

All he did was study my misery, my fright, and it excited him more. I could even see the action in his giant cock that throbbed right in front of my face.

Then he got behind me, and spread the cheeks of my ass, pointed his cock at my ass, and started to work in.

It was like trying to stuff a salami up my ass. Just unbelievably hard and monstrously big. I could feel the huge meat shoving its way in.

I wanted to scream, and screech, and pound the floor, to let him know how I was suffering.

But the more that I suffered, the more his pleasure. He grinned. He would turn my face toward his, so I could see him, and he could see me as he raped my asshole.

He kept on shoving it in, and the pain was excruciating. I felt myself being torn in two by that huge monster and its movement forward. It kept on coming and coming inside me, until I felt hugely stuffed. Then no more movement.

He had gotten all the way in! He had raped my virgin ass.

He just lay there.

And, my body started to adjust to the presence of that huge monstrous cock inside me. The big gigantic thing filling my rear.

Then, I have to say it again, doctor, the same thing happened. The pain seemed to ease away, and the pleasure began to saturate my nerves. I began to feel a rising sex excitement. This time, it went swiftly to its peak.

A powerful, overwhelming excitement that seemed to keep rising to an unbearable level and intensity.

For then he began to fuck me in the ass.

And it was not a gentle fuck. He started to go in and out in an actual frenzy. Like he had to get his rocks off instantly, as fast as he could. Like he didn't give one sweet shit what happened to me. I was just the cavity for his pleasure, for his violation. All he wanted was to fuck the ass off me.

And he did that. I have never in all my life had a fuck like that.

A ripping, roaring fuck, that made my nerves grow taut as piano wires. And I felt the sensations ripping through my cunt. I was feeling the sex in my cunt while he was ravaging my ass. I wanted to scream, but not with the pain of it, but with the ecstasy. The wild, frenzied, frantic pulsations of joy that were ripping through my cunt.

It was the greatest turn-on of my life!

Then, I felt his cock swell into its great monstrosity, push against the sides of my ass, and the hot spurt of his juice into my ass!

It trigged my own great come! A crashing, slashing orgasm that I had never before experience!

It was a madness. I could even now, doctor, feel the sweep of joy in my cunt that I felt in there, on the floor in Frank's place.

He left his cock in my ass after the spurt. He had emptied himself, and now, somehow, it seemed to subdue him. He had done his thing.

And he had done something crazy to me.

After about ten minutes, he had been lying there, not doing a thing, letting his cock grow small, tiny in my ass, so that it finally slipped out.

I could feel his juice sliding out of my ass, too.

And, then he got up, went to the bathroom. Cleaned up, I guess.

When he came back, he was about as different a man as I could ever imagine. A regular Jekyll-Hyde.

"Listen. I know you had a good time. I was a bit rough. But, frankly, it was a game. You wanted it that way. I believe you did. I think you like sex in a game like this. That's the way that I read you at the bar. I'm not all that crazy. Like at the end, I think you got your rocks off better than ever before. Didn't you? Well, I wasn't wrong about it. So, don't hold it against me.

"The sad part is that much as we enjoyed it, I don't think we can do it together with each other again. It's over. I think that, in time to come, you may want to try this sort of thing with me. But it won't work. Not again. It's a one shot thing. We both had a little freaky fun. Not the common kind. But it was worth it. I think you'll believe that. After all, you're not hurt in any real way. A few light bruises on your ass. That's about it. Okay, now you can go. You don't have to say a word. Just go."

That's what he said to me, doctor. That. And all that he said was true. He just gave me the biggest orgasm of my life. But I couldn't ever get it back with him. According to him, it wouldn't work again, mostly, because I wouldn't believe in his sadism, I suppose. I would know it was just a game. And therefore the thing would not work.

So, doctor, where the hell am I now? I am confused about sex. I don't know if I'm supposed to go out looking for cruel, sadistic men so that I can get pleasure from sex again. In the normal way. A normal fuck. I don't find a normal fuck that exciting anymore. I never reach the agonizing peak of ecstasy that I reached with Frank. But he won't play anymore. What can I do, doctor?