Chapter 1
Poor Man's Playground
"I felt Manuel's tongue, hot around the lips of my pussy, licking at the inside of my thighs and rubbing the outer lips, and I reached down and tangled his thick iron-gray hair in my fingers. I pulled his head in closer and spread my legs wide, arching my back up to make it easier for him to shove his tongue in. I wanted it in. I wanted to have it hot against my knob, because I knew it would be better than his finger, or mine.
"He reached up with both hands and spread the lips of it with the fingers of both hands. For a moment, he rolled my clit around between his fingers, and it shot fire up through my belly and down my legs. Then, he bent his head and began to lick it and tickle it with his tongue.
"When I felt his hot, wet tongue going deeper inside it, deep enough to touch the bottom, it seemed, and he put his fingers in also, and began to move them all around inside my cunt, I just went wild. I rolled and twisted, bucked up and down, and in a minute that good, warm feeling spread all over my body. He just kept on licking and sucking and using his fingers, and it was like I just couldn't stop my body from bouncing all over the place in pure ecstasy.
"But I wanted more. I wanted him to tickle my asshole with his tongue and then to put his cock up in my asshole, like Juan had done. I was sort of mixed up, because I knew that his going down on my pussy like that with his mouth and fingers gave me a lot more fun than when Juan stuck his prick up my asshole, but I wanted Manuel to have the same excitement that my brother Juan always got when he ass-fucked me.
"I pushed Manuel's face away from my cunt after a while. It was burning and a little sore from his fingernails digging into it, and his teeth chewing on my clit, but it had been good-really good for me.
"Manuel pulled back, looking into my open pussy and fingering the knob a little, his eyes all shiny and his mouth slobbery with his own spit and the juices from inside my cunt. 'Anna, Anna,' he moaned, 'my little love. My beautiful baby."
"I sat up and smiled at him. I liked Manny-he had always been good to me, from the first day he came to the camp where we were working. He would give me little things.-pieces of his food that he saved, even candy that he bought-hard candy, so it wouldn't spoil. He had begun to feel me up from the first, rubbing his hands on my ass, feeling to see if my breasts were beginning to grow, sometimes putting his fingers up under my dress, rubbing my pussy lips through my rough panties, and when we were completely alone, he would finger-fuck me until I got that good, warm feeling all over.
"So now, I wanted him to have his joy, the same as my brother did, by ass-fucking me. I got on my hands and knees with my ass facing him, and I turned and looked at his black, hot eyes as he lay there looking up into my asshole and my pussy.
"It never dawned on me that he wouldn't want to do it the way Juan did, up my asshole, and I said, 'Manny, put your cock in me."
"He had been rubbing his cock through his pants, and now he took it out. It was bigger than Juan's, I could see, and I wondered if it would hurt. Juan's had hurt a little the first couple of times, but after I had gotten used to it, it never hurt anymore-especially after Juan began to rub vaseline on my asshole and on his prick before he did it to me.
"Manny got up on his knees, his prick standing up straight and tall, and he moved in close to me. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to rub some vaseline on it, but I was too excited at how it would feel, and how I wanted to hear him moan with pleasure as he shoved it up my asshole, so I didn't say anything.
"I felt his fingers playing around with the lips of my pussy, and it made me even more eager to have him ass-fuck me. But instead, I felt his prick beginning to push into my cunt! I was scared, because I had seen how big and hard it had looked, but I didn't say anything. I guess I thought that he was trying to get it slippery from the spit and juice in my cunt, so it would slide up my ass easier, so I just gritted my teeth as it went in deeper and deeper, and he suddenly seemed to go wild-like the dogs Juan and I had seen.
"He began to grab my hips and he bucked in and out, his cock jamming deep into my burning cunt, and I had to scream-the pain was too much.
"When I screamed, Manuel just slapped me hard across the face, then grabbed me again and kept on pushing his prick in and out. I thought he must be hitting my stomach, the burning pain was stabbing so deep into me. I knew I was bleeding, and his prick seemed to slide in and out of me a little easier, but the pain got so bad that I guess I just fainted, at the same time that I felt his hot come shooting into my cunt.
"I wasn't completely unconscious, because I remember him crying, while he used his dirty handkerchief to wipe the blood off my cunt and my legs. He had rolled me onto my back, and I remember that when I finally opened my eyes, he was crying and he had his hands folded and was saying a prayer to the Virgin Mary to forgive him, and praying that he had not hurt me bad. It was a strange sight, Manny there, his cock hanging limply out of his pants, bloody and sticky with his white come, praying to God.
"Then he began to pat my face and beg me not to tell anyone what he had done. He promised anything, if only I would not tell my papa.
"All I could think of was that I was glad that he had stopped hurting me. My body was numb from the shock, and I wondered over and over why he hadn't done it to me like I had wanted-up my asshole. Instead, he had fucked my cunt and made it bleed and burn, and I knew then that I never again wanted it any other way except up the ass, or with a tongue up inside my cunt, softly licking and sucking my clit."
The speaker is Anna Morales (not her true name). She is sixteen, married, and has one child.
Her story may be most typical of the sex events in the lives of the hundreds of Mexican-American families who work the rich harvests of California, Texas, Arizona, and other agricultural states.
The crop-followers are poor. Usually, all the children work, as soon as they are able, and even then, the existence is one of poverty. They move on from crop to crop, and when they leave, there is seldom more than enough money to buy gas or bus tickets to the next job. Their wants are filled daily, and in order to eat the next day, they must work that day. There are never any savings, no permanency, no real hope of security in any form.
Anna was one of nine children, and she frankly tells us that the only recreation or diversion that her people could afford was sex. Sociologists tell us that the prevalence of promiscuity, including all sorts of sex aberrations, among the very poor is almost 700 percent higher than it is among the middle-income groups!
That illiteracy is largely responsible for lives being doomed before they begin, is undeniable. Anna is not an intelligent girl, but because of her early battles with life, her body, and sex, she has come to possess a hard-earned shrewdness, and she survives.
She is married to another "crop-follower," but her husband, who is only twenty, is studying to become an automobile mechanic, and it is their dream for him one day to have a safe, secure job where they can have a permanent home. If the ultimate dream ever comes true, her husband might even own his own repair shop one day, but that seems like too big a dream.
The reasons for there being women who prefer anal intercourse are varied, and they entail deep psychological factors. But among the poor of Anna's people, it is seldom a matter of psychological bent. Rather, it is a simple matter of economics. They just have no means of having normal entertainment, such as movies, dances, television, even reading-since few of them can even read. Thus, sex becomes the norm, when the day's work is over. Because of the largeness of the families, and the close quarters in which they must exist, most take sex for granted as a normal pastime. Theirs is often little more than a pure animalistic approach to it, as a release of tensions, and sometimes, as a means of escaping for a few moments from the utter desolation that is their lot.
We shall pick up Anna's story again in her own words.
"I've never known what it means to have three good meals a day. Sometimes, not even one. My father is a crop-follower. That means he packs up his kids and goes where there is something to be picked-lettuce, cotton, oranges, grapefruit-anything.
"California isn't as bad as a lot of places, because the weather is so good and there is always something ready to be picked, all year round. But for a long time, we roamed all over Texas, picking cotton, or lettuce in Arizona, and usually, when there was no work there, my papa would go over into Mexico and pick tomatoes and other crops, and when we were big enough to work, we did, too. We knew from the time we were babies that if we didn't work, there just wouldn't be anything to eat.
"I don't know where my mother is. My papa only talks about her when he gets drunk, and then he calls her a whore. My older brother knows, but he didn't tell me much except that years ago, when we were working in the San Gabriel Valley, my mother ran away with an American. I think she's somewhere in Los Angeles, but I don't know.
"And it was hard for my father to keep all of us kids eating. My older sister, Consuella, acted as a mother, until she got married, and then my older brothers did what they could to at least feed us and see that our clothes were clean and not too badly worn.
"My brother Juan was the next oldest to me-he was a year and a half old when I was born. Two other boys, born after me, died, and my mother took one of my sisters with her when she ran away. By the time I was old enough to understand about things, there were only five of us left, and I was the only girl.
"Juan was about the only person in the world that I had to talk to, or learn about things from. My father and older brothers were always too tired to do anything but to eat, then drink beer or tequila, and sleep until the sun came up. Juan didn't have to work as hard, and neither did I, because we were so small, and we had a lot of time together.
"I remember as clear as if it were yesterday, the first time I had sex up the ass. Before that, Juan and I had played with each other-I would jerk him off and he would stick his fingers up inside my pussy and rub my clit, but it wasn't really much fun. I got as much fun playing with my own cunt, and I often used to watch Juan, when he didn't know I was watching him. He masturbated a lot, too. In fact, one day, when I was seven, and he was almost nine, he was watching two dogs out under a tree. The rest of the family was out in the fields, and we were getting ready to go back out and work for a few hours. Juan was sitting with his back leaning against the shack, and these two dogs were fooling around, one trying to mount the other one-you know how dogs are-they sort of play games about it, as if the bitch doesn't want it, but then she lets the other one shove it in.
"I could see this one big black dog had a hard on. It stuck out of the fur like a pink lipstick, and he wanted to put it in the other, smaller dog, really bad.
"Finally, he did mount the other one, and I don't know to this day if it was a male or a female dog, and he began to ram it in either the other dog's pussy or asshole.
"His ass was bobbing like mad, and I remember how his long, droopy tail bounced around, and then I noticed that Juan had his cock out and was jerking it like crazy, while he watched the dogs fucking away. The dog underneath was holding still now, and the faster the big dog shoved it in, the faster Juan would jerk his prick.
"It sort of gave me a funny feeling, seeing all that, and I began to finger my own cunt a little. I was in the doorway, and I forgot all about where I was, until Juan must have heard me and turned his head and saw me with my finger up my pussy, working it in and out, getting a good feeling while I did so.
"Juan smiled at me in a silly way, still holding his cock in his hand, and said, 'I wonder if that would feel good if I did it to you, up the ass like that."
"I giggled and said I didn't know, and I still kept on playing with myself. Juan was jerking his cock very slowly now. I guess he had already had that big feeling-his come-even though he couldn't squirt anything out of his prick yet.
"He got up and came over and put his cock in my other hand, while he felt the lips of my pussy through my panties. 'Wanna try it?' Juan asked. He had a funny look in his eyes, sort of hazy and devilish, and I wondered if it would feel good to do it. I squeezed his cock and jerked it a little, and we stood there masturbating each other for a minute, and then he bent forward and kissed me on the mouth. He didn't do that very often, and it made me want to try it. Like I said, Juan was the closest person in the world to me, and I wanted him to have fun for all the nice things he did for me.
"Besides, I had been watching the dogs, too, and it had got me to wondering, so I said I would try it. I asked him how we would do it, and he said, 'Just the way the dogs did. Get on your hands and knees, and I'll shove it in you."
"We went back into the shack and got on the bed that my father and oldest brother slept in because it was the biggest.
"I took off my pants, but Juan didn't take his off. He just let his cock stick out through his fly, and then I got on my hands and knees. Juan spread my ass cheeks and looked at my asshole, and he pushed one finger in it a little. It sort of tickled, and it didn't hurt, and I could see that Juan's cock was hard again, and ready to shove inside me.
"He moved up close to my ass, on his knees, with his cock in his hand, and he began to try to shove it in my asshole, but it wouldn't go in. He began to curse, and then he said, 'Wait a minute-I got an idea.' We had a jar of vaseline on a shelf near the stove, because one of us was always getting burnt on the rickety oil stove, and we put vaseline on burns, bug bites, cuts-anything.
"Juan rubbed vaseline all over the head of his prick and some on my asshole, and then he got up behind me again, and this time his cock began to slide in and out of my asshole, real easy, from the first push!
"I kept remembering the dogs, and how the big one had had his tongue out, and we could hear him panting when he began to go faster, and I wondered if Juan's tongue was out. But I wasn't getting too much fun out of it-at least, it wasn't making that good feeling start in my cunt, so I balanced myself on one hand and reached under me and began to play with my clit, and then it felt real good.
"Juan was pumping away, breathing loud and making funny sounds in his throat, but not saying words, just moaning and groaning, and pretty soon he began to move faster and he dug his fingernails deep into the flesh around my hips as he pulled me tighter to his prick. It felt good, then, and I got excited and really tickled my clit with my fingers, and just when Juan let out a big groan, and then stopped jabbing his cock into me, I got that good feeling, and this time it was better than it had ever been before. It felt so good that I just collapsed on my face, and Juan stayed on top of me, with his little dink still in my asshole.
"We didn't even think it was wrong, it had been so good, and the word incest wasn't even in the world that we knew. That we were brother and sister having sex didn't even enter our thoughts. All we knew was that we had made each other happy for a little while, and to us, it was a great, wonderful discovery-like finding a brand new toy under the Christmas tree.
"We didn't do it any more that day, but we talked a lot about it while we worked side by side in the field, and we decided that we would do it a lot. We told each other how it had felt, and we agreed that it was going to be a lot better for us from now on, now that we had found a new way to get a thrill and give and get some happiness.
"We did it a lot, after that. It is strange, I suppose, but we were so happy with that sex thrill, that it never dawned on us to try anything else. We were dumb, all right, but we were happy.
"I guess I wondered a couple of times how Juan would like me to take his cock in my mouth and suck it, but I was afraid to ask. I didn't want anything to spoil the way things were. It was too big a piece of happiness to take a chance with, and we had so little of anything, much less happiness.
"Why neither of us thought of regular fucking, with his cock inside my cunt, I'll never know, but remember, we were pretty young, and pretty dumb. To us, ass-fucking was a whole new part of life, a good part that we had never dreamed of before.
"Once in a while, on a Sunday when there wasn't any work, a lot of the workers would get some wine, corn, potatoes and beans, and have a big sort of fiesta out under the trees. That was the only time I ever got to be around other kids, outside of Juan, and we would play a lot of silly games, like tag, and hide-and-seek, and red light, and it was good.
"But usually, after it got dark, most of the men would be drunk, and fights would often start if somebody wanted to dance with another man's wife or older daughter, and the day's fun would end up bad. But during those times, I noticed how many of the men would want to grab me and hug me, putting their hands around my ass cheeks, and then sliding their hand up between my legs and feeling my pussy. It made me feel good, and most of all, it made me feel important because I was noticed, so I always let them.
"I liked Manuel from the first night he came to one of the parties. He didn't get drunk like the rest, and he smiled at me all evening, and finally, he brought me over a piece of chicken he had saved from dinner. I ate it while I sat on his lap, and we were in the dimness under a big tree, and most of the men were all in a group, drinking and telling dirty stories, so nobody saw us.
"Manny played with my pussy, fingering my knob, and I could feel his cock getting hard as I sat on it, and moved my bottom around a little, to tease him.
"But he didn't do anything else except, at the end, kiss me on the neck and ears. That gave me a thrill, too.
"After that night, Manny used to walk over to our shack a lot at night after work. He would bring some wine to my father and my brothers, and they all thought he was a fine man. He used to like Juan, too, but I knew it was me he liked best. And he always could make that good feeling come into my cunt, when he played with it. And he was always so nice-kissing me while he played with my cunt, and he brought me food, candy, and other things. Once, he even picked some flowers and brought them over! We cut the top off a tin can and put them in water and they lasted for a long time.
"I used to play with his cock a little, through his pants, and once or twice I opened his fly and played with it with my bare hand.
"I didn't ever think it was wrong, because nobody ever talked to me about what I should or shouldn't do around men and boys. And he made me feel goody! was noticed. He liked me, and I liked him, and that was all that was necessary, in my child's mind.
"Of course, Juan and I still had ass-fucking all the time, and sometimes we would just play with each other and talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up. One thing we used to promise each other faithfully was that we would never be farm workers, I guess, even at that age, ten, when Manny raped me, I still believed that a big knight would ride up and take me away to a big beautiful castle and give me the life of a queen.
"Manny and I began to do a few things different, as I got older. He used to like to have me play with his cock until he shot his white, sticky, hot juice out, and then he would take off my panties and lay me back and use his tongue to lick my legs, my ass-crack, my stomach, and he would always end up by sticking his tongue into my cunt and make me come that way, using his teeth, his lips and tongue, and his fingers.
"What with Juan ass-fucking me, and Manny doing all those other things, I felt I was the most loved girl in California, and life wasn't half as ugly as it had been for most of my life.
"Then came the day when I thought Manny would put it up my ass, but instead, he almost tore my cunt apart with his huge prick when he raped me. I think that it would have been a lot different if he had told me what he was going to do, because I wanted to please him in return for all he had done for me, and I know if he had been gender, and hadn't shocked me so, it would have been a lot different.
"That was the first time Manny had ever put his prick inside me, and it turned out to be the last.
"When he had finished cleaning my poor pussy the best he knew how, and praying for forgiveness, he left.. I was sick, and I couldn't get out of bed next morning, and when my father kept asking me what was the matter, I just couldn't tell him. All I would do was cry and turn over in bed so he couldn't see my face. My cunt was so awfully sore. It hurt me even to move, and when I went to the bathroom, it was torture.
"That night, after work, my father noticed that Manny hadn't shown up as he usually did, and he went to his shack, a quarter-mile away, and came back, mad as I've ever seen him, and told me that Manny had just skipped out. He hadn't even collected his pay he had coming-he'd just left, without a word to anyone.
"My father wasn't too dumb to figure out what had probably happened, and he walked into the shack and over to my cot and threw the blanket off me. I only had a thin nightie on, and it was pulled up around my chest. He spread my legs, took one look at my sore cunt, and slapped me hard across the leg with his hand.
"He screamed, 'You little whore-like your mother! I should throw your ass out."
"I sobbed that Manny had made me do it, and that I didn't know what he was going to do. My father ranted on that I should have bit him, kicked him, spit on him, and most of all, I should have screamed until someone had come to help me. I told him I had, but that Manny had slapped me and I got scared, but my father threw it up to me that I had been teasing the old man for a long time, sitting on his lap, letting him feel me up, rubbing my ass against his cock. He was furious, and later, after he had drunk a gallon of wine, he came over and told me he was sorry, that he knew there was nothing a ten-year-old girl could do to stop a grown man from having her body.
"He got feeling sorry for himself, and he began to cry and blame himself for being a bad father, saying if he were a real man, with a real home, things like this would not happen to his children.
"I was in bed for almost a week, and Juan was as nice as he ever was to me. I told him how it had happened, that I thought Manny was going to shove it up my ass, like he had always done, and that he had surprised me and hurt me terribly when he had shoved it up my cunt.
"Juan was as angry as my father had been at first, but then, when he had cooled off, and I was back out in the fields with him, he kept asking me how it had really felt when Manny had shoved his cock up my cunt.
"I tried to tell him that it had hurt so much that that was all I remembered, but I did tell Juan that if Manny had told me he wanted to do that to me, and had given me a chance to be ready, it might have been a lot of fun.
"But I was still scared, even though I knew it would be different if Juan did it. He would be nice, I knew, because he loved me and I loved him, but my cunt was still very tender, and I hadn't even masturbated all that time, and Juan hadn't even touched me, outside of patting my cheek before he went to work in the morning and when he came home at night.
"I had a lot of time that week in bed to think about what sex was all about. Just remember, I was walking in the dark. Nobody had ever talked to me about it. I was like a young animal, only knowing what I felt in my body about it, and Juan was the same, I guess.
"I did sense, somehow, that grown-ups must do sex things that way, with the man's cock inside the woman's cunt, but I wondered if it always hurt the woman that much, and I knew that if I tried it, it would have to be with someone like Juan, whom I loved and who loved me.
"My father wouldn't even let me go outside when they had the parties, and he seemed to be much more suspicious of all the men who worked with him. He often asked me if anyone came around when he wasn't there, and he asked Juan, too.
"Juan and I had changed somehow, in our feeling for each other, and I didn't know what it was nor why it was happening. I do know that he was very gentle, yet very sexy. He used to brush his cock close to my pussy, holding me and kissing me, and I suppose that he was beginning to feel manhood coming close, because he was more a lover than a playful sex partner, like he'd always been before.
"One night, when there was a party, and I asked if I could go, my father said I might, on one condition. I was not to leave Juan's side for a moment, no matter what. He told Juan that if he took his eyes off me for five minutes, he would beat him with his fists. Juan promised, and so did I, and that night, when all the men were drunk and most of the women were mellow with wine and ready for loving and flirting, somebody brought some guitars and a violin and a trumpet, and there was dancing, right on the bare ground.
"While we sat and listened to the music, Juan and I were in the shadows, alone, and he let his hand slide up my leg and he began to finger my pussy. It had been so long since I'd felt him that close, that I reached out and played with his cock. It got hard quickly, and we began to kiss, with our mouths open and our tongues playing together. It was wonderful to be like that with Juan. I'd been so hurt and sick for so many weeks, and I was all mixed up inside. Juan made me feel that everything was going to work out somehow, because we had each other and we loved each other very deeply. And he was making my body come alive again. I wanted to feel him inside me, and this time I wanted his cock in my cunt, the way most people did it.
"We got up and walked into the soft night, between long rows of grapevines that were bursting with ripe fruit, and I lay down in the soft dirt, after sliding my panties off, and spread my legs out wide. There was a bright moon, and I could see the gleam in Juan's eyes as he took out his cock and got down between my legs. 'Fuck me the other way, Juan,' I said softly. 'Put it in my cunt."
"My body was aching for it, but my mind was still all messed up with Manny and rape, and the look in my father's face when he had looked at my sore cunt, and when Juan lowered his body down onto mine and I felt his prick begin to go into my cunt, I froze into a rigid block of icy flesh. I couldn't let him do it, and I wanted to so badly!
"I began to shake like a leaf in the wind, and Juan seemed to know what was going on inside my heart and mind, because he just put his cock away and held me in his arms until I stopped sobbing. Then we got up and walked back to where the dance was going on, and sat down in the shadows and listened to the music and the laughter.
"We didn't talk about it, but we both felt a big love present all the time and somehow knew that it wasn't tied up with childish sex as it had been. It put a big space between us, yet at the same time it made us closer than we'd ever been before. We didn't touch each other's genitals, but when we kissed there was all the tenderness in the world in our bodies.
"It was almost six months after that when my papa got drunk and tried to rape me. It was at one of the dances, and he'd been drinking all day and fooling around with some fat young girl all night. She had laughed at him and called him an old man, and he got mad and pushed her and stalked off, grabbing me by the hand and hauling me along. Juan was still there, trying to learn some guitar chords from an old man, and Jose, my oldest brother, was dancing with a pretty young girl of about seventeen. My other brother, Danny, was working a few miles up the valley and wasn't at home with us.
"So, when we got to the shack, there was only my father and I. I was tired. I hadn't felt close to Juan that night, nor he to me, and I just took off my dress and climbed into bed, hardly remembering that my father was there with me. He had stood staring at my naked body as I slipped out of my panties, and I think it was the first time he had noticed that my breasts were beginning to swell out and take shape. The nipples were already pink and fairly large, and my breasts were like two tiny ice cream dips with little cherries on top.
"He poured himself some tequila and came over and stood beside the bed, staring at me. He slugged down the tequilla and set the glass on the floor and sat down on the bed.
"I was frightened, but I didn't dare say anything. I had seen, back at the party, that he was in a mean mood. I had noticed when he was dancing with the young girl, that he had a hard on. It showed through his pants. Now, he pulled back the cover and stared at my naked body. He reached out and felt my breasts, then he looked down at my crotch and saw the sprinkling of black hair that was showing.
"'How old would you be, Ann?' he asked, his hand on my breast. I told him I would be twelve the next month. He seemed to hesitate, fighting a little battle within himself, and then he said, almost fiercely, as if to convince himself, 'You're ripe and ready to pick."
"He stood up, slid his pants off, and his shirt, and got back onto the bed. 'You're ready for fucking for sure,' papa said, and I could see that his cock was already getting hard. I was feeling very strange. I was fascinated by the thought of having him shove it into me, but terrified that he would be as ugly and rough as Manny had been, or that I would freeze, like I had when Juan had wanted to fuck me.
"He began to knead my breasts with both his hands, digging his fingertips into the flesh deep, and in spite of the slight pain, I did begin to feel my pussy getting damp and tingly, and when papa took one hand off my breast and bent over and began to suck my nipple, while with his other hand he cupped my cunt, putting a lot of pressure in his touch, and one finger slid inside and began to massage my clit, I felt I wanted his cock inside me, and I knew that it wouldn't be like it was with Manuel.
"I began to move my body about, and when papa changed over and sucked and nibbled at my other nipple, I moved my hips so that I could make his finger rub harder against my clit. He began to suck hard, and his fingers moved across the lips of my cunt, while his finger massaged my knob wildly, and when I began to gasp and pant, he stopped doing both, crawled beside me, his cock in his hand, and started to spread my legs so he could put it in me.
"And all of a sudden, he was Manny, all over again! I was frightened into a sort of shock, and I began to plead. It was almost as if it weren't me talking, as if somebody else was putting the words in my mouth. 'Papa,' I begged, 'please don't do that to me. I'm so scared-please. I'll do anything you want, only don't put it into me! Please-put it in my asshole, please-'
"Papa stopped, staring at my face, wondering where I had ever heard about ass-fucking, I suppose. He looked down at my wide-open cunt I know he could see a glimpse of my asshole, and he licked his lips.
"Then he suddenly rolled me over on my stomach, spread my legs wide, and moved up between them. He lowered his body down on mine, and I felt his cock's tip begin to massage my asshole as he moved it about with his hand. Then it began to slide in, and even though I was used to it, from Juan, papa's cock was much bigger and it hurt just a little. But my fright was fading. This seemed more right to me, and I knew that it would be good for papa. I arched my back up so he could get it in farther, and as it began to slide in and out easier, I became much more relaxed. I even slid one hand down between my legs and began to masturbate, and as papa plunged his cock into my asshole, deeper and faster, I rubbed and pinched my clit faster and harder, and when I felt his hot juice shoot deep into my asshole, I came. I actually think it was the best come I'd ever had, but maybe that was because I was just turning into a woman, in my body.
"Papa was like a rabbit. I don't think he even stopped. When his jism shot up into me, it made it a lot easier for his cock to slide in and out, so he just kept jabbing my asshole, and inside a couple of minutes I felt him come again.
"Finally, he had enough-and, in a way, I guess, I did too.
"Papa leaned his whole weight on me and growled into my ear, 'You little whore, if you ever tell anybody I did that, I'll cut your fucking cunt into pieces. I'll kill you! You hear me!'
"Then he crawled off me and went to the bathroom and came out and got into his bed, without a word. In a few moments, he began to snore drunkenly, and I lay there until Juan and Jose came home, thinking about my own feelings while I had been ass-fucked by my own father!
"I didn't feel bad. I had had a good come, and, like I said, I was so love-starved and so damned dumb about all the sex laws and rules, that the only standard I had to judge it by was, how it had felt to me. And, I concluded, before I went to sleep at last, it hadn't been so terribly bad.
"After that nightTpapa began to drink awfully heavy, and about twice a week he would manage to get Juan and Jose out of the shack for an hour or two, and he would ass-fuck the hell out of me. After a while, he began to suck my pussy, and a little later, I sucked his cock. After that we just used to have mouth sex, sometimes in the sixty-nine way, other times, ass-fucking or one or the other of us would just use our mouth on the other.
"We never talked. We just did it, like two animals. There was never any live words, or anything-just sex. And as time went by, Juan began to ask me to let him do it to me. I did, of course, but there was something different between us now. I found out later that he knew about papa and me-he had watched us one night through the window, and he was hurt because I hadn't told him, and because I wasn't giving him any loving for such a long time.
"I felt sorry for him, and after a while I let him ass-fuck me and I even sucked his cock, but it was almost like with papa-there wasn't any soft, loving feelings anymore--just suck, ass-fuck, and that's all.
"Then Juan began to go to see a girl at another camp. He was fifteen, and he began to stay out until daylight some nights. I don't know how he had the strength to work the fields the next day, but he managed. And we didn't talk much anymore, either.
"When he was sixteen, Juan just left one night and never came back. We heard later that he was working in Texas, and that he had his girl with him and that she was going to have a baby. That's the way most families break up when they are crop-followers-they just disappear and drift or run away.
"That's how I did it, too.
"I met Jesus while we were working lettuce in Arizona. He was eighteen and I was fifteen, then. We talked while we worked side by side, and he was different than any person I'd ever known. I think I loved him the moment he smiled and told me his name. A lot of the younger men, and even more older ones, were always making dirty remarks to me when they met me in the fields, and it was always about fucking or sucking-never anything about love, marriage, babies.
"But Jesus Morales told me he loved me, after the second day, and it was that way all the way. He told me he wanted to make something of himself, marry me, have children, live a life like we'd both dreamed about. And in all the days we were together, all he ever did was kiss my hand! He never touched my breasts or pussy, but he would make love to my body with his eyes and with his sweet smile.
"One day my father spotted us talking and he came up and told Jesus to stay away from me, or he'd get his ass cut off. My father was jealous, from the first time he'd ever had sex with me, and he watched me closely while we were at work. Jesus surprised my father by telling him that he loved me, and was going to ask me to marry him. I thought papa would hit him, he was so furious, but instead, he just warned him again to stay away from me and not to try to see me when we weren't working.
"Jesus asked me right then, as papa got out of earshot, if I would marry him, and I said I wanted to more than I'd ever wanted anything in the world.
"He told me he was an orphan, and that he had been saving his earnings for two years, so he could go to a school and study how to repair automobiles, and that he had almost five hundred dollars saved!
"So, we just left. Jesus got bus tickets for L.A., and we got a two-room apartment right away, and he went out and got a job as a busboy in a restaurant, and I took a job as a waitress in the same place.
"We went to Tijuana the first weekend and were married. I wanted it to be in a church, but we just didn't dare take a chance then. Someday, Jesus has promised, we will be remarried in a church, but I don't care anymore. I'm too happy. We have baby Maria, and each other, and my Jesus will soon be making good money as a mechanic and we can have a nice home. That's all we want, really-a chance for a decent home and a different life for our babies than we had.
"Jesus sent word by a friend of his, who knew my father and brothers, to tell them if he saw them that we were married and happy, and that if any of them wanted to come and visit us, as relatives and friends, they would be welcome. I loved him for that He has no family, and we would like my father and brothers to accept us as part of their family, but if they don't, then we'll still be happy.
"Of course I never told Jesus about Juan, or papa, but I did tell him about being raped by Manny. And he is so kind and understanding. That is why we often do have what you call anal intercourse, but I still call ass-fucking, and Jesus has come to enjoy it as a sort of added way to make love.
"I had no problem in giving myself to Jesus for straight cunt-cock intercourse. It just came natural, because he was so sweet and gentle. He acted as if I were giving him the greatest gift on earth-my virginity-which, except for Manny, is the way it was. He was the first and only man who has put his prick inside my cunt with love in his heart, and love for him in mine, and that is the way it will be forever.
"I am not one to give advice, but you did ask me if I had anything to say to any married women about ass-fucking, so I will try. To me, it is not a dirty thing, but another way to tell my man, 'Here is my body-my whole body-to use in love, and for love, as it pleases you, because you have my whole love."
"There is pleasure in ass-fucking for me only because my husband enjoys me that way. Oh, I can have a good come, sometimes, because Jesus uses his finger in my cunt while he is penetrating my asshole, or I masturbate while he is doing it, but my real joy is to know that my man loves me completely, and isn't ashamed of the ways he loves me.
"We often suck each other off, but usually that is only the beginning of sex. After that, we try it other ways. And there is this: I am a Catholic, and I believe with all my heart that the Church is right in saying that it would be a sin to have an abortion, because a life is killed. So, I cannot take birth-control pills, and I try to use the rhythm method that the Church approves of. But we have almost unlimited sex because we can kiss each other's genitals until we come, or we can have anal intercourse, and either of those things are wonderful for us, with no chance of me becoming pregnant.
"Oh, after my Jesus is a car mechanic, and we have a little home, we want children; but now, our Maria is enough. We wanted her, and we will want the others, and when all this has come true, we shall still want each other in the same sexual ways that we do now, because, as it was in the dreary fields of so many places, sex is the one bright beautiful thing that can make the sun shine into our lives."
Anna does not seem to have been emotionally scarred by the brutal aspects of her initiation into sex, and it may well be that because of the deep love she had for her brother, Juan, she came to accept anal intercourse as a normal, even healthy relationship.
In desperation, she gave herself to anal sex with her father, because of her fear of "normal" intercourse after her harsh experience with a rapist.
Talking to this girl, it became apparent that there may have been yet a deeper psychological reason than she even guessed. She is a deeply religious, if uneducated, girl, and somewhere deep in her heart she must have wished to present her one-day husband, whoever he might be, with a virginal body which, in her thinking, meant an untouched vagina and hymen. That she was denied this, does not seem to have spoiled the beauty of her gift to Jesus, her husband, and it is a healthy sign that she has not carried any apparent sex hang-ups concerning oral or anal intercourse, into her marriage.
The prospects of a continuing happy marital and sex relationship for them seem to be extremely good, and it is with deep gratitude that the author thanks both for their account for this study, and wishes them all the happiness they both so richly deserve.