Chapter 1
Susan - United States
"I'm twenty-three and a teacher at a private girls' school in Los Angeles. You would expect me to have a nice quiet house with a husband and a garden and lots of books on my coffee table. Well, I don't. I have an apartment, and I don't have a husband. But I do have a lot of male visitors who don't get past the door with their pants on. There is a garden out back, where I sometimes sit in my bikini and spread my legs so my pussy hair shows-it drives the guys in the little office building next door absolutely wild! And I have books on the coffee table, mostly picture books of anal intercourse. I dig looking at pictures of big fat cocks sliding up a girl's asshole.
"I also like to get out of Los Angeles for a weekend trip to Las Vegas. The whole atmosphere of Vegas turns me on-the lights, the money, the crazy night people. It's there I find my best tricks, where I can let loose, let my hair down.
"But I usually have a problem when I let my hair down. Christ, even when a guy comes to my place in L.A. you would think he'd take the hint by looking at the damn picture books on the coffee table! I like getting fucked in my ass. It's as simple as that. And most guys-although not all, thank God!-don't seem to dig it. I think they're basically afraid of it, because after the first time-if they get into it or get pushed into it-they always come back for more.
"I couldn't go through with a normal fuck. It just doesn't work for me! I've got a beautiful body-firm breasts, hard nipples, a nice hairy pussy-but my ass is the best thing about me. It's soft and smooth and shapely, and the opening is lined with soft hair, like the soft down of a feather, and it holds and caresses a cock like no cunt ever could.
"What I started to say before I got turned on about myself was that it happens time and time again. I meet a nice guy-hell, maybe a beautiful guy-with a cock halfway down to his knees, and we have some drinks on the Strip and see a show and then back to the hotel for a good fuck. Only he wants to stick it in my cunt, and I want him to stick it up my rear.
"The minute I see a cock aimed at my cunt I shiver and go cold. I tried, believe me, I tried, I can't take a cock up my cunt-I don't know why-but I can't. I can lick them and suck them till they come. I can caress them with my hands, my hair, my feet even, but I can't take a cock up my pussy. I'd really like it that way, you know? I'd love to turn on to a good cunt-fuck. I'd love to like it because it would make my guy happy. But at the last minute I get really scared and I freak out. I seem to become the stereotype-the uptight schoolteacher who doesn't put out for anyone.
"But have a guy put his finger up my asshole, I go bananas! I'm like a wild woman. The sensations, the thoughts, the experience of the whole thing sends me into ecstasy. And then a cock up there-the bigger the better-and I'm completely done for. One good ass-fuck in Las Vegas gets me through three weeks of teaching those little monsters. But most men don't like to do it, at least men in this country don't. I've heard Frenchmen fuck their girls in the ass all the time. The mere thought of it leaves me very frustrated.
"I'm super frustrated right now because of Paul. He's a super friend and I like him a hell of a lot. I saw him at this nude stage show in Hollywood and happened-actually I planned it-to bump into him afterwards. He told me the show was going to Vegas in a few weeks, and I remembered it. I also remembered his fantastic body and the size of that thing between his legs. And I met him again in Vegas. Of course.
"I saw the show and was incredibly turned on by him, even more than the first time. He knew I was out there. I had sent him a note backstage, and he spied me in the second row and winked at me just before it came to his turn to take his clothes off. Because of laws in Vegas, they couldn't do the show totally nude, so he stripped down to a see-through pair of shorts. That hunk of meat looked even more tempting behind the flimsy covering. He thrust his hips in the air at the front of the stage and I closed my eyes and pretended he was standing behind me, shoving it deep in my ass.
"He had a near hard on by the time the curtain fell and when I met him backstage I looked down and saw the outline of his cock in his tight white pants. I told him he was great and he kissed me-a nice, juicy, meaningful kiss. I felt his cock press against my leg and his hand came up and tweaked my right nipple through my dress. We went for drinks and it was hard to keep our hands off of each other.
"I really like you, Susan," he said, holding my hand. His eyes were huge and dark ... captivating. I was really going into orbit-with the wine and my sexual passion and his beautiful body.
"I'm surprised you're not a homosexual," I told him.
"Why?"
"Because you're so beautiful. And you're an actor. You know what they say ... "
"He winked playfully. "Don't believe everything you hear-but you're close-you found one of the few straights."
"I smiled and moved my hand away. I looked at him and a thought came to me. He was so handsome and I felt so at ease, I thought if there were anyone who could help me get over my aversion to cunt fucking, it would be him. With a cock like his, I wanted to take it anywhere he wanted to put it.
"You see, despite my love for anal sex, I never have given up my desire to conquer my fear of vaginal sex. I used to masturbate while dreaming of a guy sticking his cock in my pussy, and I've dreamed about it in my sleep. But when it comes to the real thing-freeze-up time! That's why I thought Paul would be able to help me.
"In my room at the hotel-I stay in a different one each trip, and usually find a guy to pay for it-we hugged and kissed for a few minutes until we couldn't stand it any longer. We had to take off our clothes. Paul reached down and pulled my skirt up to my waist and rubbed my cunt lips through my panty hose. I was moist and he felt it, and it sent him into orbit.
"Susan, I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before!" he said passionately.
"Paul, Paul," I managed to say, but I thought to myself, you sure are, honey! See? Always in my mind-even when I'm hoping for a good cunt-fuck, I'm thinking about anal intercourse!
"Paul pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. His chest was hairless but muscular. I lay my head against it and licked his hard nipple. He rubbed his hand over my hair and I heard his zipper sliding down as his other hand was getting rid of his pants. I kissed him as he tugged on his pants with both hands and in a second, when the pants slid down over his buttocks, I felt his monster cock spring out between us and push against me. I couldn't stand it. I had to have it in my mouth.
"I knelt down in front of him and stared at it. It was long and extremely thick. The head was very dark and absolutely huge-the crown on top of the tower-and beneath, his balls hung low in their hairy sac. I placed my hands on his thighs as he stood still in front of me. He grasped his long cock in both hands and pulled it down, holding it directly in front of my lips.
"I smiled at it, looking directly into the slit in the tip, and then I opened my lips and took it. I clamped them down around the underside of the head and let the warmth of my wet mouth do a number on the tip. Paul moaned and clenched his fists. So far so good.
"I sucked hard with my cheeks and took another inch. Again, he moaned and moved a little. Then I let my fingers crawl up his legs until they brushed his beautiful hairy balls and that really did him in. He pulled out of my mouth and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Come here baby, and do me good!" he said, as he flopped back. I knelt between his outstretched legs and pulled the pants from his feet. His cock stood up in the air. His arms were outstretched on the mattress, and his eyes were closed. I wanted to give him a good blow job ... I knew I would.
"I started licking the inside of his thighs. Then I moved my head so that my nose touched his balls. They contracted with the excitement until I took them into my mouth and sucked them gently. The warmth made them expand again and soon they rolled around in my mouth freely and easily. Paul brought his hands down and lifted his cock in the air and I knew he was dying to have me suck it.
"I dropped my head and his balls fell from my lips and hung between his outstretched legs. Then I went down on his enormous organ. I took as much of it into my mouth as I could-it was halfway down my throat-and worked up and down the shaft, expertly. I sucked and licked and caressed with my tongue, as I ran my hands over his balls and gently probed down into his hairy asshole.
"I guess I'm fascinated with the anal area on any person, because I like to finger-fuck guys while I'm blowing them. But I always meet opposition. If they would be cool about it and relax, then they'd find out how great it can be. They'll say they don't dig it but they haven't tried it! And once they try it, they beg for more. Man, everyone's so fucked-up about assholes!
"Anyway, I almost made Paul come. His balls tightened and his breathing almost stopped. I felt it happening and knew he stopped it at the last minute. He pulled my head from his huge cock and held me still.
"Susan, don't move! I'm gonna come." He was really worried. I wouldn't have minded drinking his hot cum. It would have excited me and made me want more in my asshole. But Paul wanted to save it. Then I thought about it in my pussy and I told myself I wanted it there.
"I stood up and took off my clothes as he watched, fascinated. He was fully recovered-he wasn't on the verge of orgasm any longer-and he played with his huge dick as I stripped in front of him, doing a kind of striptease, getting him excited.
"How do I look?" I asked coyly.
"Incredible!" he replied, sitting up. He was staring directly at my cunt. I saw his lips part and his tongue licked them. I knew he wanted to eat me and I moved my hands down and pulled the lips apart and then let them come back together again. The sight of my pink flesh inside the thick hair was all he needed.
"I want to suck your pussy, Susan," Paul said as he fell to his knees in front of me. "I want to suck your pretty pussy till you flood my face with your hot cunt juice!"
"I could see talking turned him on. "Lay down on the floor and let my cunt sit on your face," I told him. He obeyed and lay flat on the floor, his cock standing up between his legs. He put his arms back and I stood above him. Then I felt his hands take hold of my ankles. He looked up to see my dark crotch hovering above him and I started to descend, moving my cunt lips closer and closer to his open mouth and hungry eyes.
"I was very hot. I felt the flesh of my breasts harden like rock. My nipples stood erect, like his cock. My head was spinning as I looked down to see his face hungrily awaiting its meal. And I wanted to give it to him, everything he wanted. Because then he would give me what I wanted.
"You've got the most beautiful cunt I've ever seen," he said as my pussy neared his face. Then the hair touched his outstretched tongue and he couldn't say another word. My cunt was at his lips and his tongue was finding its way up into me.
"I lowered my body to his head and my cunt plastered itself over his lips. His tongue slid into me and I watched his eyes desperately gazing up at my breasts. He lifted his arms and took hold of my nipples as he began to suck on my clitoris. He certainly knew what he was doing.
"I grabbed his head and ran my fingers through his hair as I knelt there, moving my pelvis over his face. He nibbled on my cunt lips and bit them a little, then he slid his tongue over my clit and sucked it till chills ran up and down my spine. His fingers moved from my nipples to my buttocks and he spread my ass cheeks and rubbed against the nub of my asshole. I went electric, crazy! The sensation drove me insane and I cried out for more.
"He rubbed his fingers up and down the crack of my ass as he ate my hard clitoris. I was hotter than hell. I pulled up and looked at his face. It was wet with his saliva and my cunt juices. He smiled.
"Sit in the chair," he ordered, pointing to the chair near the bed. I stood up and placed my hand on my pussy, feeling the wetness there. I liked how he was sucking on me and figured it would help me get ready for his cock. I sat in the chair and spread my legs. He followed me and knelt between them. He held his enormous cock in one hand and fingered my cunt with the other. In a minute I was begging for his tongue again, and he brought his face between my thighs. I threw both legs over Paul's shoulders and hooked them around his neck. I pulled his face against my open cunt. He was trapped, and he loved it. It was at that moment I knew I really liked this guy. I felt there were possibilities with him, a future. He looked so beautiful, so loving there between my legs. I didn't want to lose him.
"Hi, beautiful baby!" he said, smiling. He was talking to my cunt! Honestly, he looked at it and licked it and talked to it. "All set for a nice big kiss from Paul? Then Paul's big prick?"
"I sighed and pulled his head to me. His tongue slid up my pussy and didn't miss an inch of it. I was in hysterics-my clit was trembling and I felt the fluids rushing down my channel, over his lips and down his neck. I saw him ram his body against the chair, and I knew he was sliding his long cock up and down against the material. His eyes darted up to my face every now and then. I felt as if I were in total control, and I knew I was just about ready to come. I wanted to climax, wanted it very badly. I wanted to give him what he wanted-my pussy juice, my moment of ecstasy-so he would give me a good shot up my ass. I longed for the feeling of his beautiful hard cock spurting loads of white semen up my asshole. It had to come true! I was losing the thoughts of a cunt-fuck rapidly.
"I was ready to explode. I knew I was coming-there was no stopping it now. I squealed and thrust my cunt as far forward as I could and unlocked my legs. I felt the first rush of excitement through my body-that almost-faint feeling-and then I knew the gush was coming. I closed my eyes and all of a sudden something happened, something I'll never forget ... Just as I was hitting the top moment of my climax, Paul lifted my legs high into the air and slid his mouth away from my cunt lips and down to my asshole!
"He sucked on my asshole and shoved his tongue up it just as I came! I screamed and trembled, and he must have thought an earthquake had hit. It was the most incredible orgasm of my entire life, bar none. That moment of tongue-meeting-anus really did me in. It was emotional as well as physical. I really liked this guy and it seemed so right that he did what he did-sucking my asshole when he didn't even know, that's what I wanted and preferred.
"After the climax was over, I relaxed in the chair and Paul sat on the floor, still licking my womanly fluids from his lips, playing with his stiff cock. There was a smile on his face like none I had ever seen. I knew there was more to come ...
"We rolled around on the bed for a while, kissing and hugging. We were both incredibly turned on but every time his cock came into contact with my pussy I shuddered, although I did my best to conceal my terror from Paul. He cared about me-maybe he could even love me someday-and I didn't want to mess things up.
"Finally, as he moved his cock between my legs, I knew I had to say something. "How'd you like to put it up my ass?" I asked, over his shoulder. I felt something go through him and then he pulled away. He looked at me as if I were nuts and then he laughed, and I imagine he thought I was kidding.
"Spread your legs, baby, and put this pillow under your ass," he said. I thought maybe he was going to try it, and so I obeyed. My cunt was in the air, but when I spread my legs and lifted them, my anus was ready too. I loved to be fucked in the ass like that, with my legs up, being able to kiss him and have him suck on my breasts. But he put his cock against my cunt and started to work it in. I freaked.
"I wanted to do it, I really did. But the fear was just too much and I moved away and started to cry. Paul couldn't understand what was wrong and I told him I couldn't do it like that. I was afraid he'd call me a freak, but I was being silly. He cared about me and he seemed to understand. He didn't ask questions or pry into my past. He told me very honestly that he hadn't ever fucked a girl in the ass. That really surprised me because I thought people in show business were so jaded. He said he was afraid he'd hurt me with his big cock. I tried to assure him it would be wonderful, for both of us, and I started talking him into it.
"I spread my beautiful ass cheeks for him and let him nibble there. I spread them as far as I could so some of the pinkness of the opening of my anus was exposed, and he experimented with his finger, sliding just the tip in and out. He was getting to like it, and at the same time I stroked his cock, which kept him excited.
"I asked him if he liked getting finger-fucked and he said that he did, so I told him I would like the same thing. We were in a sixty-nine position and I felt his finger slide up me after he applied saliva to my asshole. The feeling was out of this world and I took his cock into my mouth at the same time. He fucked me with his finger, in long, beautiful strokes, as he stared in fascination at my opening and closing asshole. My pussy opened before him also and he ran his other fingers over my cunt lips. I felt his cock swell in my mouth and tickle the back of my throat.
"Then I pulled away and told him to put two fingers up my ass, and after some hesitation he did, while I sucked and nibbled on the tip of his giant dick. He was getting to like it, I could tell, and on his own he inserted a third finger, which felt like a cock was going into me. I could feel the probing deep in my rectum and the lips of my anus held tightly to his fingers. I squirmed on the bed and knew it was almost time to switch places and get his enormous prick up there. I was dying for it and I knew now that he wouldn't balk at giving it to me.
"And then, in one easy second, it was all destroyed. Suddenly, without warning, my mouth was filled with one of the biggest loads of cum I've ever swallowed. He shouted and shoved his fingers up my asshole as far as they would go. His cock head hit the back of my throat as it gushed in spasms and I swallowed and choked on his heavy load. It surprised him, too. He was so fascinated, so deep into watching his fingers fuck my asshole, that he lost control and let go. He told me later it was one of the best orgasms of his life, but that didn't make up for the loss I felt.
"And what I feared came to be. He sat up when it was over and told me he was really planning on fucking me in the ass, but now that he had shot off he couldn't get it up again, which I knew really wasn't true. He would do it the next time.
"I wondered if there would be a next time with him knowing he wasn't going to get a cunt-fuck out of me. I knew damn well he could have gotten it up again for my pussy, but the feelings of skepticism he had had when I first mentioned the subject were back and I knew the night was lost.
"I sucked his cock some more till all the cum was out of it and then he let it rest in my lips till it had softened. He played with my cunt and my asshole, but he never let himself get excited again. He was scared and a little freaked by the whole thing.
"When he left, I felt terribly depressed and terribly inadequate. I didn't want to be the way I was, but there wasn't anything I could do about it! I wanted it so bad, I needed it so badly, and his massive cock would have been perfect.
"I got my rubber dildo out of my suitcase and loaded it with cream, and then slid it into my rectum as I fingered my clit. I fucked myself like that-as I had many times in the past-crying and feeling awful, and yet growing very excited. I came, finally, and let the fake cock slip out of my ass. But I couldn't stop crying. Why am I like this? Why?
"And why couldn't I find someone who understands?"
Susan is obviously a person for whom the act of sex must remain somewhat removed from the idea of love. Removed in the sense that she is completely preoccupied with her own pleasure, not the pleasure of her partner.
In psychological terminology we classify this type of individual, insofar as it is possible to classify on the basis of such scant data, as a narcissist. Such person is an individual whose ego has not developed to the stage of object love, thus the sexual object for this female is herself. Despite this obvious disadvantage, Susan seems able to fascinate Paul. In this connection, it is of interest to our investigation to mention the thoughts of Sigmund Freud:
It seems very evident that one person's narcissism has a great attraction for those others who have renounced part of their own narcissism and are seeking after object love; the charm of a child lies to a great extent in his narcissism, his self-sufficiency and inaccessibility, just as does the charm of certain animals which seem not to concern themselves about us, such as cats and large beasts of prey.
Narcissism as a stage of development of the ego lies between what Freud designated auto-eroticism and object-love. Autoeroticism connotes pleasure derived from one's own body. But in this early phase of development the ego is almost nonexistent, and the child is at the mercy of his organic demands. In its later development the ego splits itself from the id (the reservoir of instinctual impulses), and directs this flow of libido toward objects of the external world. Prior to this cathexis of object-libido the ego passes through a stage of primary narcissism, whereupon the ego cathects itself with libido. This stage of ego development is necessary for the maturation of the normal personality. If not for this stage of maturation, the individual would be completely subservient to the demands of the external world. Thus, primary narcissism is a necessary development of the human psychological organization.
The type of narcissism from which Susan is suffering is what Freud termed secondary narcissism. In this occurrence, the individual withdraws her libido from the interests of the object world and reinvests it in herself. Secondary narcissism also has a definite purpose and cannot be viewed as pathological, for this is the way the normal individual gives up love objects, sometimes necessary in the course of human life. But when this libido becomes dammed up and is unable to reinvest itself in the object world, then we have a pathological condition known as the narcissistic neurosis.
We invariably find that narcissism is bound up with sexual deviations, especially those involved with the oral and anal orifices of the anatomy. Freud commented in Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality that a perversion is the opposite of a neurosis. By this he meant that in a perversion (deviation) the inhibitive forces of the psychical organization are in some form underdeveloped or rudimentarily constituted. The causes for this disturbance are always the result of a failure to form a positive identification with one's parents or the social milieu.
It is obvious that Freud had in mind the placing of the sexual function primarily in the service of the procreation of mankind. Today, with the increasing danger of overpopulation, it begins to appear that this Victorian concept of sexuality is outdated. But if we study the matter more closely, we find that civilization is taking us in the direction of a state of affairs which would have been regarded in Freud's time as neurotic, actually narcissistic neurotic. The cause of this neurosis is not that the sexual function is unaligned with the reproductive one, but that it is unaligned with the affectionate.
Susan is obviously an anal-erotic who derives pleasure from feelings related to the childhood feelings of retention, expulsion, or the obversion of feces. Susan's libido or pleasure drive is arrested, or fixated, in this phase of psychosexual development. The child who is fixated at the expulsion level of the anal impulses is most likely to develop the characteristics of ambitiousness and conceit, which are attributed to feelings generated by a successful elimination.
Karl Abraham, a follower of Freud, divided the anal level of maturation into two phases. The earlier one he designated as the expulsion tendency; the later phase as the retentive. Susan is obviously of the latter type. In her efforts to achieve an orgasm, she is tending toward the keeping and manipulating of Paul, much the same as she found pleasure in retaining her feces as a young girl. First of all, she is fixated at the anal-erotic stage. She also has regressed to the narcissistic phase of ego development. Not only does she display these characteristics in relation to Paul, her love object, but one may safely assume that she is concerned with nobody but herself in all of her involvements, sexual or otherwise.
Are there reasons for these two types of regressive development? Would it issue from what psychoanalysts call the narcissistic wound of the phallic phase of development, or what is more often known as penis envy?
The answers to these questions will be found in the development and subsequent analysis of all the female cases outlined in this work. For purposes of clarification, it is best if we begin with a history of the development of the female.
It is obvious that anatomically the female finds adaptation to the world more difficult than does the male. She must undergo, as she matures, a fundamental change in her choice of a love object, because the mother is the first recipient of an object cathexis. The male child retains the mother as the protype for all later object-loves. The female must sublimate this drive and transfer it to the father in the course of her maturation.
This is usually accomplished when she progresses to the phallic phase of development. Until this phase there is very little difference between the little boy and the little girl. But at about the age of four, depending upon external factors, she perceives the anatomical disillusion between the sexes, a factor which she does not take lightly.
The subsequent manifestations are twofold. First, as Freud remarked, "the girl holds her mother responsible for her lack of a penis, and never forgives her for that deficiency." From this depreciation, she transfers her libido to her father and seeks a child from him. This development in her life is known as the female castration complex and by its activation she enters into the Oedipus situation.
Secondly, as a result of her anatomical distinctions, a suitable organ for the discharge of aggressions is lacking. The clitoris does not and cannot serve the purpose; it is basically an inward organ. To clarify, the male child, by virtue of his penis, possesses an organ which is by its physical shape designed for the exploration and conquering of the world. Both his psychologic and anatomical forces are directed toward the outer world. A man, by his nature, is a forcer of situations; a woman is the receptor. The female does not possess an organ for the discharge of aggressions. She is the victim of her anatomical characteristics. As a result, she is forced-at this period of genital trauma-to turn her aggressions inward. This inward turning gives woman her uniquely passive-masochistic character, as opposed to the male's sadistic-aggressive drive.
In Susan we see the attempt to deny this genital trauma, and as a result she sacrifices her most unique feminine attributes: her passivity and her desire to have a child. In other words, she forfeits her ability to give herself wholly to a man, and her ability to carry out a sexual function which will result in a child.
In this highly narcissistic case, we perceive nothing characteristic of only the American woman, but of an aberrative individual whose deficiencies are found around the world.
"I thought I had lost Paul for sure, so you can imagine my surprise when he knocked on my door the next afternoon. I had been to downtown Las Vegas in the morning, and was just about to take a shower when he turned up. I held a towel to my body and asked who it was.
"Paul! I want to see you," he called from the hall. I quickly opened the door and he walked m. He was dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and carried a tennis racket in his hand. "I've been playing some tennis, but I got horny "cause I was thinking of you. And I have rehearsal in an hour."
"I didn't know what to do or say. Still holding the towel in front of me, I kissed him on the lips. But I was trembling because I thought we would go through the whole number again, and I wasn't ready for that.
"He pulled the towel aside and fingered the hair on my pussy. I stepped back and turned around so he could look at my ass. Paul didn't move. I asked him if he liked my ass.
"It's beautiful," he said calmly.
"Well," I said, "I can only get turned on by a good fuck in my ass. I like you too much, Paul, and I'm going to be too hurt if I do anything with you again that doesn't include anal intercourse. If you want this, it's all yours." I patted my smooth ass cheeks and turned back to face him. "If not, then you had better leave."
"He dropped his racket to the bed and opened his shorts. He dropped them to the floor and stood in his white underwear. Then he bent down and undid his shoelaces and took off his shoes and white socks. Standing up again, he removed his jockey shorts and his half-hard cock jumped out. Now, he stood there, naked except for his T-shirt. He looked very sexy that way.
"I really want to try, Susan. I've been hot all night thinking about it. I've gotta see what it's like." He took hold of his penis and stroked it. The head grew thick and rounded in his hand and soon it was as hard as it had been the night before. I reached around my buttocks and pushed my fingers against my anus. I was ready, too, more ready than I ever could be!
"How do we do it? What position?" Paul asked, like a little boy getting his instructions from his first experienced lady. The whole situation turned me on-this beautiful hunk of virgin with, his enormous dick. I couldn't wait to feel its action up there, spurting, burning.
"Let's do it dog-style. That way you can watch your cock going in," I said, feeling like an expert. I had to be the one to lead this new experience for him, and I kind of liked the feeling. I was a good teacher-of little girls in Los Angeles, and of big boys in Las Vegas who had the potential of becoming great ass fuckers!
"I knelt on the floor and spread my legs. Then I leaned my weight against my arms and stayed like that on all fours as Paul knelt behind me, I felt his hands move over my ass cheeks and I shuddered in anticipation.
"Won't it hurt?" he asked.
"Kiss it, make it nice and slippery," I told him. Immediately his head was buried between my buttocks. I felt his tongue lick my anus over and over, each time applying saliva. It ran down over my cunt. I reached back with one hand and lightly fingered my pussy, while his lips hungrily sucked on my asshole. I was ready for it now and I told him to get into position.
"I'm ready, Susan. I'm gonna fuck your ass!" Paul said, excited. He held his cock in his hands and centered the head on the opening. My asshole parted as he pushed forward. The tip slipped in and the head of his cock was locked there, surrounded and held captive by the tight walls of my asshole. I felt as if I were being spread apart-his cock certainly was the biggest I had ever had in there-and I loved every wonderful sensation of it slipping into me.
"Oh Susan, wow!" Paul whispered as he saw the tip of his cock disappear into my hole. He pushed forward slightly and another inch slid into me. He couldn't believe it, and he shook and trembled in excitement. I felt his cock grow larger within me and I begged him to put it all in.
"Susan, does it hurt?"
"Yes, but I love it. Please, Paul, fuck my asshole, burn my asshole with your big dick!"
"I was wild now, insane with passion. I pushed back, forcing his cock up me-all of it!-till his pubic hair mashed against my buttocks. I squealed and bolted upright. It felt as if my head was going to pop off my body! He grabbed my tits and held them tight, as his cock adjusted to the tight, hot channel it was now invading. He was breathing hard, in spasms, and I felt chills up my spine each time he let out his breath onto my shoulder.
"Paul pulled out slowly, looking down to see what was happening, and then pushed back in, equally as slowly. It was new for him, different, and very wonderful. I could tell he was in another world, especially when he started to increase his rhythm and began really fucking me like a dog. He was a superstud of a man and his cock knew what it was doing. I bent forward again, placing my head on the floor, so my ass was open and spread before him. And as he lunged forward again, his balls slapped my pussy and sent even more sensations of pleasure through my body. I was being satisfied like I had never been satisfied before. I could hardly believe it was happening. It was so fast and so furious and so unexpected.
"Fuck me hard, hard!" I shouted.
"Oh, baby, I'm gonna come in your ass! I'm gonna fill your ass till you explode!"
"Yes, please, Paul, come ... fill me with your hot cum! Put it in my asshole!"
"He began to pound his body against mine. My cunt juices were flowing and I was experiencing a constant orgasm. I spread my legs and met his every stroke. He had his hands on my buttocks, bracing himself, watching his huge prick invading me. I knew he had to be close. I wasn't going to be able to take it much longer in that position.
"Paul!" I shouted, waiting for it.
"Now, now, baby ... here I come!" and all at once the most incredible load of semen burst from the tip of his cock and filled me. He rammed into my ass for the last time and, as we fell to the floor, I felt the spasms of his swollen cock rocking inside me. His semen ran down the length of his cock, along my channel, and dribbled out. Then it dripped to my cunt and rested against his balls. He moaned and clawed at my shoulders and began kissing my hair and neck. He was in heaven and we both wished it would last forever. I wouldn't let him take it out-I wouldn't let him move-until it had softened within me.
"Finally, when it did, it slipped out by itself, with a popping sound. Paul rolled over and lay next to me on the floor, panting. His cock was wet with cum and he rubbed it with his hand. I turned and looked at it-it was still so very large-and thought to myself, I can't believe I was fucked by that big beautiful cock!
"I started to get up, but Paul stopped me. He was getting another erection and I wondered what he wanted to do. I immediately was afraid he wanted to fuck me in the cunt. But he didn't.
"Do what you did last night, only put your ass on my mouth. I want to suck my cum out of you."
"I looked at him in shock. I couldn't believe he had said it, but I guess his first experience with anal intercourse had freed him. I was excited again--I could feel the huge load of hot cum inside my rectum and the thought of giving it back to him was very exciting.
"I got up on my feet and lowered my ass to his face. Only this time I was facing his cock, and I knelt on either side of his shoulders. As soon as his tongue touched my anus, I saw his cock grow in his hand and I reached down and began to rub the tip, and then his balls. He was masturbating himself expertly, and I knew he would come faster if he did it himself. I was giving him the stimulation he needed with my ass plastered against his face.
"I watched his cock go up and down as I heard him moan and felt him moving his mouth and tongue under my spread buttocks. My pussy was against his chin and that added to his delight. My anal muscles were now loose from his big cock, and his tongue slid easily up the channel. His semen was sliding out of me and coating his throat! It was something that I had never done before, not really thought about. It was a marvelous turn-on, for both of us, and as drop after drop of warm cum fell into his mouth from my asshole, his cock trembled and shook under his manipulations until I knew he was ready to shoot.
"He groaned and gave one last tremendous suck on my anus, and then I saw his hand go still. His cock was pointed toward my face and I was hit with a gob of thick cream, and I opened my mouth, hoping that another would fly right in. Cum hit me on my forehead and my nose and cheek, but not on my lips. So I bent my head down and licked the gobs off of his belly, and then finally took the end of his penis into my lips and tasted the last of his load. I pulled my ass away from his face and he licked my cunt as I locked my legs around his head and sucked on his prick. We stayed like that, in that sixty-nine position, till we could barely breathe. I sat up and looked at Paul. He smiled a smile I'll never forget just as I'll never forget that fuck on the floor.
"He had to rush off to rehearsal, and he said he would have trouble doing the show because his cock actually hurt! But he came back that night for more, and we did it in all positions-standing, sitting, lying down. He came in my ass a total of five times and we slept almost the entire next day. It was too good to believe and never once in that whole time did he attempt to fuck me any other way.
"But a week later, when we were both drunk after meeting again in Vegas-it had been a difficult week of teaching, you can understand-we went back to his room and started to make love. We were getting to know each other now, and there was a certain closeness developing that was more than just sexual attraction.
"Would you want to try a regular fuck?" Paul asked bluntly, but gently.
"Of course, I immediately said no, and that got us into a talk that did me more good than I had hoped. Paul probed and pried and I started crying. I didn't want to remember anything bad in my life, and I had deliberately forgotten all the terrible incidents of my childhood so that they didn't exist any longer. But he finally got it out of me and I'll tell you right here what I told him. It was and is the clue to why I am what I am, and to what I can do to change that.
"When I was thirteen, I went off swimming with my girl friend, Sally. We lived on a farm and I was used to taking off my clothes and running around nude in the woods and fields. Sally was afraid that, while down at the little lake at the end of our property, someone would run off with her clothing when she was in the water. We had an argument and she got mad and went home. Well, I wasn't ready to go home and I wanted to swim in the sunshine. So I stripped off my clothing and played in the water for about half an hour. When I got out, dripping wet, my towel and clothes were gone.
"At first I thought Sally had come back and was playing a trick on me. But then I noticed something protruding from the bushes next to me and I gasped. A male penis-and I had only seen my brother's until this time-was standing out of the green, erect and long. I stared at it, transfixed, I wanted to touch it. I just reached out and took it in my hand. And, as I did, my hand filled with white liquid.
"I heard a voice muffle a shout and the bushes rattled and moved and I kept my hand there as I felt the penis throb between my fingers. The liquid kept coming and coming, dripping down on the ground, and I felt a rush of pleasure through my young body, especially between my legs. I knew what I was doing was wrong and that I should have run home immediately, but I was glued to the spot, as if the forbidden aspect of the situation was keeping me there, in spite of all my apprehensions.
"A male voice said, "Oh, Jesus!" over and over again. I held on tightly to the organ till it stopped spurting its liquid. I knew what it was-I had watched my brother secretly pulling on his cock in the barn some weeks before and his cock shot just like the one in front of me had-and I felt no sense of fear. I was excited.
"Suddenly there was a noise behind me and I turned to find a tall man, in his twenties, standing there. He was fully dressed and he grabbed me by my shoulders. It was at that moment that I became scared and wanted to run. I grabbed his waist and wiped my wet hand on his shirt. He didn't like that and he ordered the other guy out of the bushes. A naked man stepped out-he was older than the guy in clothing-and smiled at me.
"That was sure something," he muttered. He was holding my underpants in his hand, and often brushing them against his cheek. The other guy then told me to relax and he bent over and gently kissed me on the forehead.
"I did relax, as much as I could. I was fascinated with this-it was my first sexual experience, and I had always been a daring person. I looked up at the man in clothing and asked him what he was going to do.
"I want you to take off my clothes," he said in a nice tone of voice, "so I can be naked like you."
"I opened his shirt and unzipped his pants. Finally I pulled them down around his thighs and was shocked to find he wasn't wearing any underwear. I stared at the huge thing between his legs. It was standing out from his body, pointing in front of him. It was much larger than the one I had held, and I wanted to touch it also and see it pour out its white liquid.
"But he had other ideas. As soon as he was naked, he grabbed me and pulled me against his huge, hard organ. I trembled because he was rough. The other man didn't say a word. He just stood behind me, playing with his hard cock. The big man told me to lay on the grass, so I did.
"Then he started to lick between my legs, lapping my cunt to work himself up, and despite the horror of the situation-or was it mere confusion at that point?-the feel of his tongue against my slit drove shivers of lust through my young body. I shouted and tried to get up, but the other-man held me down, kneeling above my head, letting his hard penis rub against my forehead.
"The guy lapping at my cunt finally stood up and showed me how big his cock was. I couldn't believe it and when he took it in his hand I thought he was going to do what the other man had done-I thought he was going to make it shoot its white liquid. But instead, he knelt between my legs and told me he was going to fuck me. He said it wouldn't hurt.
"I hardly knew what that meant, and I really became afraid. He held my legs down as the other man shouted at me to be still and spread my legs. I was still a virgin and my little cunt had never had anything in it other than my finger. The thought of him ramming that long pole into my body was incomprehensible-I thought I would be killed!
"Please don't, please," I cried as he positioned his big prick between my legs. My shouts did no good-in fact they only made him more anxious and hotter. The men started laughing as he pressed the tip of his swollen cock to my little virgin pussy.
"Just as he started pushing it in me, the other guy grabbed his penis and began working it over my face, so when I yelled he touched the tip to my lips. I screamed in pain as the invading cock tore the outer and inner walls of my cunt and then I felt a gush of hot liquid in my eyes. I remember the hideous laughter, the pain in my eyes, and the terrible sensation of bleeding between my legs. My throat gave out and I could no longer shout. I felt the banging until my entire being could no longer take it and I passed out.
"When I woke, it was almost dark and there were bruises on my face and body. My legs were covered with blood and my eyelids were stuck together with dried semen. I walked in pain down to the lake and washed myself. I remember I couldn't stop crying and I told myself it didn't happen, it just didn't happen.
"I've always tried to forget that awful feeling, the laughter, the pain. Only the terrible fear returned, not the full memory, each time I thought of regular intercourse.
"But now I'm getting over it, with Paul's help. We ass-fuck most of the time, because he likes it as much as I do. Slowly but surely I'm beginning to relax when he puts his huge cock up my pussy. I think that I may even get to like it a lot. All I needed was to find a man, somewhere, who would make me stop trying to forget about that rape.
"Now that I have found that man, I am happier than ever."
In addition to Susan's eventual enjoyment of anal intercourse, which she probably will continue to employ as a method of sexual satisfaction, she had successfully made the first step toward a cure for her neurosis. In Susan's case, Paul has acted as her-albeit untrained-psychoanalyst. It will be, in all probability, too late for Susan to drop her anal activities altogether in favor of vaginal intercourse. However, anal intercourse will no longer be the compulsion it used to be for her. As such, we can safely say that Susan is making progress toward a more normal sexual life.