Chapter 5

Denholm-Australia

"I'll bet you think of Australia and kangaroos come to your mind, right? Koala bears? They're here, all right, and they're part of it, but there's another part of Australia which people seem to know little about: the people!

"We're stuck here on the other bloody side of the earth, so I guess it is easy to understand. I'm going to tell you a little bit about the people-the young people, like myself, and the people I know. I think we're very hip, free spirited, and much less stuffy than our parents and most other adults.

"I'm twenty-three and I dig the music of Rod Stewart, Cat Stevens and Lana Cantrell. I also love American pizza. My hair is long and I'm quite good looking. As a musician, I spend most of my time writing songs and playing with a group. I take life easy, but my biggest thrill is fucking an asshole. I dig girls but I guess I should say I'm bisexual, because I don't mind fucking a guy's ass every now and then.

"Take yesterday for example. I had just finished doing a recording session when I met this good-looking young chick outside the studio. She turned me on with her big smile. I looked down at her legs and her ass--shapely, meaty, sharp. I wanted her.

"She was wearing tight hot-pants that covered her buttocks firmly. Her nipples were pointing out of the little sweater she was wearing-I felt weak in the knees. It had been one hell of a recording session, and I needed something to relax me, to take the built-up energy out of me. I started thinking how nice it would be to spend the night with her.

"Hi," she said. The way she said it, the way she looked at me ... well, I knew she wanted the same thing I did. Girls like her were always hanging around rock singers, around the studio and the concert halls. It was a great phenomenon of those times, the groupie. On nights like that one I was thankful for them.

"How'd you like to come up to my place?" I asked her.

"You're Denholm R--, aren't you? You wrote "Wandering Fool," didn't you?" She had a high, clear voice. I liked her.

"Ja, that's me. And I'd kinda like to fuck your little bum." I believe in being honest and straightforward with people. No bullshit. Too many people in this world are full of bullshit, games and the like. If everyone would just be less up-tight about sex, things would be a lot better.

"Her name was Sheila and she told me she was supposed to stop at some friend's house, but had been waiting outside the studio just in case.

"What if we stop there for a bit, then go on up to my place?" I asked.

"That sounds fine. You'll dig my friend Bill, he's a swinger. He's beautiful too, almost too much so!"

"I grabbed her hand and we walked up the street. Once we had turned the corner, I reached down and grabbed the cheek of her ass. She smiled.

"You never said yes," I said.

"Yes to what?"

"An ass-fuck!"

"She grinned. "Anything you want, baby." I slapped her ass and we walked up the street. I was getting excited just thinking about it. She looked down the crease in the front of my jeans and giggled. "This is gonna be great!" she said, anticipating the size of my cock.

"We rang Bill's doorbell and a good-looking kid came to the door dressed only in a pair of faded jeans, with only one button on the crotch buttoned. I could see the hairs above his cock through the opening. Sheila introduced us, and Bill smiled at me and turned around to get some grass. I saw that the jeans fit tightly over his ass and thought to myself, I wouldn't mind fucking his asshole either!

"We sat on pillows on the living room floor, and smoked a joint. Then Sheila asked Bill if he had gotten the film yet.

"What film?" I asked.

"Some erotica we made," Sheila replied. "That's what I do, besides go to college. I'm a photographer."

"Far out," I said, putting one arm around Sheila. She nestled her head between my shoulder and neck, and asked Bill to show the film. He pulled a screen down from the ceiling, got the projector and loaded it.

"While he did that, Sheila and I were rolling around on the floor, feeling every inch of each other's bodies. She had nice, hard tits, the kind a guy likes to suck on for hours. Her pussy was soft and hairy, as I soon discovered as she pulled her hot-pants to her knees. And her ass-a beautiful ass. I turned her over and kissed it hard right smack between the cheeks. She moaned and Bill looked at us and said, "Man, that's the place to really turn her on. Hey, why don't both of you take off your clothes. It's the best way to watch this flick."

"Good idea," Sheila said, pulling her sweater over her head. I stood up and took off my shirt and shoes. Sheila, at my feet, pulled my socks off and then I opened my pants. Bill watched as I dropped them to the floor and stood bare-assed in the middle of the room. My cock was hard, and Sheila immediately slammed her mouth down over it, sucking like an expert.

"I stood there, very excited by the feel of her lips, and was quite turned on because of Bill watching us. He stopped threading the projector for a moment as he looked into my eyes and then down at the beautiful girl working desperately on my cock. I saw his cock getting hard in his pants and in a moment he opened the button, and let them fall to his knees. He had a huge cock, bigger than mine, and he grasped it in his hand and held it there.

"Sheila sure knew what she was doing. She turned profile so Bill could watch what she was doing. My balls shook up and down as she slid her mouth up and down the length of my hard cock. Bill walked toward us and knelt down just a foot from me. He watched closely as Sheila performed.

"I looked down to see that Bill was beating his cock furiously. I was carried away with excitement.

"Then he moved behind me and I instinctively spread my legs, knowing that Bill was going to do something to increase my excitement. I hoped he wasn't going to try to put his dick up my ass, because I don't dig that. But against my cunt. Each stroke jostled my inner organs and sent tremors of excitement through my whole body. Every nerve seemed to be on edge. Every part of me had come alive. As he plunged his prick into me with increasing force, my gentle sighs turned to uncontrollable moans. I was where I wanted-to be, on a lovely plateau of pure pleasure.

"He kept right on stroking my cunt, especially my clit as he fucked me, his fingers moving in the same furious rhythm as his prick. Fuck me in the ass, fuck me in the ass, a voice in my mind cried out. I wouldn't have dared say words such as these out loud, but the words echoed in my mind nonetheless. Fuck me in the ass!

"He did, as though he'd heard the words of my inner mind. He pierced me with knife-like sharpness, in and out, now swirling his prick around, stimulating that one delicate spot until I could hold out no longer.

"He knew what he was doing to me and let himself go at the very moment my own spasms began. My ass gripped at his prick which sprang into me, its energy surging forth as the semen raced through its channels to spurt out inside me. I shuddered underneath him and let myself emit one low scream as the pulsations became incredibly intense. The twitches of his cock triggered wave-like undulations of my ass. Yes, that's the way it really was. My ass was coming! It was a fantastic fuck.

"We collapsed together side by side on the bed, my back against him as though I were seated in his lap. He clung to me then again began to caress my tits, my belly, my cunt. He was trying to get me excited again, but I had a hunch he'd want to do something different. I was entirely right.

"After kissing me passionately, he broke away to ask, "Wouldn't you like to try the real thing? We seem great together so far."

"It was marvelous," I said, placing my hand on his semi-erect cock to show my appreciation. "I'm afraid I've had it for tonight, though. Do you mind?"

"He shook his head sweetly. He wasn't the sort of guy to persist and maybe he was tired, too. It had been a magnificent climax for both of us. We had coffee together and talked about casual things. After he'd gone I wished I could have let my hair down and told him about myself, really. At least I could have told him that what he'd done was, for me, "the real thing."

"I guess I'm a pervert, every bit as much of one as my ex. Maybe I could carry some weight around this dumb town if I mentioned that I'd been married to Claude ---, that I was the girl of a thousand faces one saw on the record covers and in the ads. I was afraid of mentioning the name though, because somebody would think, maybe even say, "What? That fag?" And they'd end up feeling sorry for me.

"Besides, Claude wasn't a fag, not anymore. He'd been one, yes, but he was cured at last. He left me, not for a man, but for another woman, one who is, I suppose, more of a woman than me. Once he was ready to give up pretty boys, he was ready to give me up, too.

"Innocent kid that I am, I thought he was perfectly normal when we first started going out. And he was beautiful, built like a Greek statue, with dark, pensive eyes. I idolized him. Since I'd had so little experience with sex, I didn't know to look for the warning signs. When he didn't try to make love to me, I thought it was out of consideration and kindness. I was already tired of New York men who are constantly on the make. I thought that between Claude and me there was something deeper than just sexual attraction.

"He proposed marriage before he'd even taken me to bed. How beautifully old-fashioned, I thought. My girl friends occasionally asked about our sex life and I'd say, "Great! Just great." And when I went home to Charleston and announced to my family that we were engaged, my mother said to me privately, "You haven't ... you know, have you?"

"No, Mama, I haven't," I could say with a clear conscience.

"There had been others, though. When I first went to New York, I hadn't learned that a girl had better say "no" before a guy gets inside her apartment, especially if she doesn't know him very well. So, I got laid a few times. I let it happen passively and didn't enjoy it very much. I couldn't come and that began to bother me. Then there was one nice guy, Harold, who let his foreplay go on so long that my cunt exploded in one fantastic orgasm while he fingered my clit.

"I was ashamed of myself. That wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Harold kept doing it again and again, driving me to the wildest ecstasies with the mere touch of his finger. He'd do it in taxicabs, in apartment building halls, and even once when we were in the shower together. If it was a more or less public place, I'd have to bury my head against his chest to keep from screaming. Afterwards, though, I'd feel as though I'd done something naughty. Harold inserted his cock in my pussy now and then, but I couldn't feel anything unless he played with my clit at the same time.

"What's wrong with me?" I wondered. "Is my cunt incomplete or something? Am I more masculine than feminine?"

"Claude got heavier and heavier in love making before we got married, I guess, to make sure I wouldn't change my mind. Once we lay together admiring each other's bodies for a long time, then he played with my cunt with his fingers. The familiar rush of warmth rose inside me. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't. I was coming, just the way I had with Harold, the sensations from my clitoris sending electric shocks up my spine. It was beautiful, that first orgasm with Claude, but afterwards I cried. He took me to see him stick it up her asshole. But he didn't! Instead, he spread her ass cheeks (with the aid of her own hands) and aimed the tip of his cock directly at the pink little hole. Then he shot a load of come onto her asshole like I've never seen! It filled her ass cheeks and ran down over her cunt. She cried and yelled and banged her feet on the ground. I could imagine how hot and exciting it must have felt!

"Then he let his cock go and he pushed some of the semen into her hole with his finger, giving her a good finger-fuck. Just as I thought it was almost over, he took his still hard cock and placed it right to her ass. The camera came in close just as the lips of her anus parted to receive the member. His cock sank into her with the lubrication of its own come! Was I ever amazed! This kid was going to fuck her right after coming, using his own come as a lubricant!

"And fuck her ass he did. He rammed his cock in and out of her until I thought I was going to come myself. Sheila was rubbing my cock so hard I had to have her stop. I couldn't stand it any longer. The sight of the kid fucking the woman's ass, and the feel of Sheila's hand was too much. I wanted to save my come for her asshole.

"The camera came in under the kid's flopping balls. They seemed to swell with his orgasm, and when he hit, I thought his entire body had been forced up the woman's asshole. He slammed her into the ground and kicked his legs high. The come floated from her ass opening as he pumped spurt after spurt into her. Then he pulled out and crawled up over her back. The camera came in close to show the last drippings of come from his softening cockhead, and the last gush of warm come from her asshole. Then, Gar got up and smiled, picked up his underpants, and carried them into the house, over his shoulder, as the woman lay panting in pleasure on the ground.

"Bill got up and clicked on the lights. "Wow, that was fantastic! I'd like to stick some rock score behind it, to add to the excitement," I said.

"Yeh, Den, why don't you? I was just going to put any old album behind it. But if you have something written, it would be great."

"However, there was something more important which had to be taken care of right then and there-mine and Bill's cock, and Sheila's beautiful little buns. I placed my hand on her ass and kissed her full on the mouth. She pulled away from me and flattened herself out on the floor, on her stomach. "Fuck me, Denny, come on and fuck me! Bill, I'll suck you while I'm taking it in the ass."

"Bill knelt in front of her. "Wait till you two really get going, then you can take me," he said, holding his cock in his hand. He smiled at me and I knew it was time to really go to town.

"I leaned down and filled the crack of her little ass with spit. Then I rubbed the head of my cock up and down between the cheeks. She moaned and begged for it, but I wasn't ready to give it to her, not just yet. I wanted to get her real hot, bloody-out-of-her-mind hot, with my mouth. I flicked my tongue against the hard nub at the opening of her asshole and she shivered in pleasure.

"Then I opened my lips and forced my tongue directly at the opening. It slid in about half an inch and I pulled it out and did it again and again until she was begging for my cock. Bill was panting as he watched, and he beat his cock furiously above her face. He moved close to her, sitting on his heels, and let his balls slide up and down on her forehead and nose. She lifted her head and licked at them a few times.

"Finally I shoved my tongue as far as I could and it entered her like a cock. She screamed in pleasure. I pulled out and replaced it with my dick. I shoved hard and entered her. She screamed, and her entire body bolted in a spasm of utter surprise and delight. Then I slid all the way into her without stopping. She loved it.

"When I was all the way in, I told her to get up on her knees, so we could do it dog-style, and at the same time she could suck on Bill's nice, hard cock. She moved up and I went with her, never allowing my cock to fall from her asshole. She knelt and I watched as Bill let her take his cock. He put his hands on her back and I grabbed them and held them for a second. We were the masters and she was our slave. I fucked her in the ass while she sucked Bill's cock with all of us coming at the same time.

"I let go of his hands and began to fuck her nice and hard in her little hot asshole. Bill matched my movements up front, and shoved his cock in and out of her face, fucking her there. We fucked and fucked and she moaned and shook all the time we pumped her. I felt my balls swinging free beneath me, and I watched the expression change on Bill's face from excited interest to pained ecstasy!

"Tell me when, Denny, I'll hold off till you shoot!" he cried.

"Oh man, I'm almost there! I'm gonna ram her cunt so full of come she won't know what hit her!" I returned.

"And I'm gonna fill her mouth so full ...

"He didn't get to finish his sentence because I let out with a yelp that shook the house! "NOW!" I shouted into the air. I rammed my cock into her asshole with such force that it pushed her onto his cock, sticking it way down her throat. At the same moment, Bill let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He came, just as I did, and together we stuffed her body so full of come she could hardly breathe!

"Sheila shook and moaned, and tears rolled of carrot juice. He wasn't fixing anything to drink now, though, and he didn't waste much time showing me around the place. He led me to a mattress covered with an Indian blanket in a corner of the living room and pulled me down beside him.

"Baby, I wanna fuck you. I wanna fuck you so bad," he said.

"He was very sexy, even if he did seem a little crude. And I was flattered. I knew I'd set off some spark in him, and it isn't every day that that sort of thing happens. Maybe this time would be different. I hoped, maybe this would be the man who could do it for me. He didn't look the type for weird kicks. I'd have to try to make it the ordinary way. It wasn't courage that brought me boldly to this point as much as it was the two martinis I'd had.

"He started stripping off his clothes and left me to undo mine. When his pants came down, I noticed that he had an all-over tan. A nudist, no doubt. I also noticed he was hung like a horse. The sight of such a huge phallus would have turned on other women, no doubt. Frankly, I was impressed. It was lovely to look at but all I could think was ouch!

"Once my pantsuit was off and neatly draped over a chair, he took one long look starting with my boobs and going on down. I guess I was posing, my tummy all sucked in, my head tall, my weight gracefully balanced.

"Beautiful," he said. "Now I know I haven't seen you before. If I had, I'd remember when and where."

"That was a relief. I still didn't want anyone probing into my past.

"I stood still as he approached me and pulled me tight against his tall, muscular body. He smiled down at me, pushed my hair away from my face, then bore down hard against my lips with his, twisting my mouth before opening it, then prodding his tongue inside to meet mine. While he kissed me, he pressed that huge cock against my belly. Soon our two bodies squirmed together sensuously as our tongues mingled. My breath came hot and fast. Already I knew that my cunt juices were flowing. What a fast turn-on this gorgeous Nordic lover was. He had me totally in his power and I scarcely knew him. Maybe this man would be the one to save me from my perverted desires. I could only hope so.

"He wasn't one to hesitate. He soon had me flat on my back on the mattress. He kissed me again, plunging his tongue even deeper into my mouth than before. My tongue twisted and swiveled against his and underneath him, my body wiggled. My pussy really felt hot and the idea of that gigantic prick which now rubbed against my belly no longer scared me.

"He pulled away from my mouth and skillfully heaved my pelvis into the air, throwing my legs over his shoulders. My cunt was within inches of his face. Opening his mouth he drew out his tongue, licked his lips, then dived for the slick sensitive flesh. He swept over my clitoris again and again. Dizzy with sensation, I was afraid I'd give way to an orgasm if he kept it up much longer. Instead, though, he curled his tongue into a point and traced the edges of my slit several times. Then he lapped at it, deliberately moistening it with his saliva, getting it ready for that fantastic tool.

"I opened my cunt as wide as I could. Crouching over me and staring into my face, he began to shove it in. It was big, all right, and, well, it had been a long time since anybody had done it this way with me.

"God, you're tight," he said, adding, "I like them tight."

"I was utterly overwhelmed at having an instrument like this inside me. I was practically in a swoon. Slowly we began to rock together. He moved his prick as though it were made of lead. Each stroke seemed to crush me. There was something about it that was like ass fucking. All my innards jostled around, compressed by the fullness. I was soon totally caught up in the rhythm, my movements in phase with his. Gradually, the speed increased. God, I was hot.

"Hot enough to come or almost. But I didn't come. I was suspended, ready for the magic touch that would send me over the hill. But the magic touch wasn't there, not yet.

"He fucked me relentlessly, scarcely aware of me, it seemed. In and out, churning away, savoring his own sensations, he didn't give a damn about me. Or so I thought. Just another prick who wouldn't know if I really came if I managed to fake it.

"But I was wrong. Suddenly he pulled out his cock and whipped me over on my belly. He slapped my buttocks as though he were spanking me for being such a bad girl. Then, slowly and expertly, he drove that mammoth cock straight up my ass. It hurt a little, but I loved the hurt of it, for this was the magic touch I needed.

"He was speeding up now and every thrust jolted me as though it would turn me inside out. He jerked it in and out with amazing swiftness. My awareness of everything else dimmed. I was conscious only of the tender ring around my ass, the giant tube that invaded it again and again.

"Suddenly my whole body bolted as though I'd been struck by lightning. I shuddered helplessly, all the while wailing my head off. Ripples of ecstasy spread from my ass, overtaking the rest of me in waves of increasing violence. I screamed until I nearly choked. My ass grabbed at his prick, but it was moving too fast. In a few more thrusts he'd finished and pulled it out, his semen dripping everywhere, chilling my thighs and my cunt. I still twitched and whimpered as I fell into a heap on his bed.

"How did you know?" I whispered.

"He shrugged. "Just guessed. The prettier the chick, the more weird they get, I figure. And dispense with the male sexual organ in act. Similar to the case of Antonio, the male love object is a defense against the fear of castration.

It is quite evident in both these cases that the preference for anal sex is symbolical proof of their inability to cope with the idea of the female genitals. They represent proof, to the immature, of the real danger from incest: retributive castration, and proof of the threats made by parents of the dangers in masturbation.

We find another predisposing factor in the case of Denholm. As a result of having a weak father, of whom his mother could and did take advantage, Denholm did not have a sufficiently strong male prototype with which to identify. As was mentioned before, it is the identification with the father which forms the inhibitive forces in the psychical organization that fights off incestuous longings. In other words, the boy fears his father's retribution for incest. This fear is at first represented by an external threat emanating from the father. He usually wants his son to leave the sheltering caves of mother overprotection and to make his own way in the world. When the young boy's incest desires become associated with his genitals and he recognizes that some individuals to whom he is so similar do not possess a penis, he identifies this thought with his own castration. Later when he identifies with his father, this threat is internalized and becomes the chief weapon which he uses to break the bonds of his desire for his mother, i.e. the castration complex.

Because of Denholm's weak father, the subsequent identification with him did not prove sufficiently strong to break the bonds of motherly desire. To accomplish this task, Denholm was forced to identify with his mother. In this way, if he became identical with her, he would no longer have to fear his love for her. This unconscious reasoning resulted in a narcissistic object choice, as Denholm sought an object similar to the one his mother loved and saw in him. Therefore, as the mother-son relationship remained fixated, Denholm became his mother by identification and looked for an object like himself in the external world.

By this defense maneuver, he was able to overcome his fear of castration due to incestuous impulses. His anus became his chief sexual concern because it allowed him to be passive in the sexual act like a woman. But with this anal eroticism, he could also be active (again in identification with his mother) with another's anal cavity because it didn't represent nor contain the same fear elements of his immature unconscious belief that the female genitals were living proof of his castration fears.

Therefore, Denholm's anal eroticism, narcissism or narcissistic object choice, and degradation of the sexual object represent defenses against incest and related threats of castration.

"When I was a little kid my mother was the dominating force in my life. My dad was a sickly, very quiet man. She was big and healthy and I think she was tired of his dick long before he died. (He died when I was thirteen.) One day, when I was about ten or eleven, I watched them making love. It was a terrifying sight. His cock was very small and he couldn't seem to satisfy her cunt. She practically flung him out of the room when he came all over her pussy instead of in it. I remember her calling him all kinds of terrible names and then telling him how she much preferred getting a big stud to fuck her in the ass than to have his little cock up her cunt.

"I can't say that I blamed her, but she treated him too bloody rough. I never had much respect for him, because of it. He never once stood up to her and he didn't seem to care about anything in the world except his business. I was fascinated with sex ever since I could remember, but that scene I had watched turned me way, way off.

"However, one thing about it stayed with me. I kept hearing over and over in my mind the words about a stud fucking my mother's asshole. I don't know why, it just seemed very exciting for me. Later, I experimented with my asshole while I masturbated, and I began sticking all kinds of things up there-my finger, a hair brush, carrot, even the end of the kitchen broom. Music became a part of my life and I would sit on my bed with my earphones on, beating off while I shoved something up my ass.

"My interest in anal matters changed from my own body to others when I became old enough to know what it was all about. I fucked my first girl at fifteen, but it wasn't anything for me. It wasn't exciting. I guess I thought of my parents and that turned me off. As I fucked her though, I thought of her asshole, of my balls rubbing on her asshole as she wrapped her legs around me, and that got me excited enough to come in her pussy.

"Since then I've fucked a few girls normally, but none of the experiences has been rewarding for me. There's no excitement to it. Analism is where it's at, and I dig fucking the asshole. I never tried fucking a guy until I became involved with young rock musicians. They are very cool, and I felt free with them, sexually also. Many of them are either bisexual or homosexual, and they have very little hang-ups about it. I knew a kid, Kurt, from Germany. He had a nice tight ass and he asked me to fuck him one night. I wasn't going to at first, but then I figured what the hell? His asshole was tight and as exciting as any chick's I'd ever fucked. By then, I figured, an asshole is an asshole and I don't bloody well care who it belongs to!

"I didn't have to answer, for just an instant later he'd whipped his tool out of my cunt and rubbed the end of it around the opening of my ass. It only took a moment for the moisture to spread around, making that lovely prick slide in, oh so easily. I cried out with pleasure as it sunk deeper and deeper into me.

"How quickly I was swept up in the ecstasy of his prick entering my ass, swiveling mercilessly into its strange depths. Immediately, my body responded, churning against him, grinding, twisting, turning. I gasped and groaned, and sought desperately for something to hold on to. His hand reached for my wrists and held them tightly.

"I was oblivious to everything except the dull pumping motion from behind arid the chills of sensation around my asshole. My twitches and moans were totally automatic, for my conscious mind had faded, eclipsed by the sheer exquisiteness of sensation.

"The slow, sensual monotony drove me almost to the point of hysteria. I was on the edge, so close to coming, hovering there, waiting, wishing a moment such as this would never end. The speed of his thrusts increased and his hand now clung to my wrists, while the fingers of his other hand still tickled my clitoris delicately. I moaned and quaked, then held my breath for an instant. The spasms arose from somewhere deep inside me, magnifying themselves, turning into utter convulsions. My ass gripped his prick tightly as he shoved it in deep and hard, the final stroke that sent his juices spilling into me. A shrill scream burst from my throat and the throbbing continued, diminishing so very gradually that I thought it would last forever.

"We lay together in wordless awe, cuddling like little children. He didn't attempt to arouse me again that night. At last we dozed off to sleep in each other's arms.

"I awoke the next morning to find the sun shining brightly upon his nude body, totally exposed, for he'd kicked the covers off. I wasn't sure if he was still asleep or not, but at any rate, his cock was fully erect.

"I couldn't resist reaching out to it, caressing it delicately with my hands. What fantastic pleasure it had given me. God, how I loved it in my ass. A big one would never do as well. This cock that I now held lightly against the palm of my hand was the perfect cock.

"He'd soon get up, of course, and walk away, perhaps walk out of my life forever. He liked ass-fucking, I knew, but he wanted something more. And he had a right to something more. Despair encroached upon my initially happy mood as I thought about myself and how I'd learned to enjoy only one sort of lovemaking. It wouldn't be wrong, if I could only enjoy other things, too.

"He roused from his sleep and opened his eyes. His gaze was tender, compassionate.

"You like my cock, don't you, Alice?"

"I love it."

"But there's one spot you like it best. Why is that?"

"I sighed, wondering how much to tell him. "It's a long story," I said at last. "I won't go into all the details. I was married and I learned to like it that way."

"You mean that's all your husband wanted?"

"I wondered if I'd told him too much. "Yeah, he was hung up on this sort of thing. And I was inexperienced. I still am. We haven't been apart very long."

"I'm sorry, honey. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I won't make you talk about things you don't want to talk about."

"I smiled at his strong, understanding face. "It's all right," I said, then I added, "but sometimes I wonder if there's really something wrong with me."

"Wrong? But how could there be? You have such violent climaxes."

"Only one way though. Otherwise I'm frigid."

"You, frigid? That's absurd. Frigid women can't make it at all. They'd envy you. Sooner or later you'll find some nice guy who likes it that way and no other way and you'll live happily ever after."

"That crushed me. He wasn't going to be the guy, that was clear enough. And I didn't want to go on this way. I wanted terribly to be like other women. I wanted to enjoy all of sex.

"He didn't cut me off right then and there. Sometimes I wished he had. He kept coming back to see me and never again tried to fuck me in the cunt. At least he got me to talk about it frankly so I reached the point where I could yell, "Fuck me in the ass!" so loud the neighbors surely heard.

"We just took for granted that ass fucking was my thing and that it wasn't really his thing, so we knew that sooner or later we'd reach the end of the road. He kept telling me to go out with other men. I didn't enjoy it much because I'd get the same reaction again and again. They all thought I was a weird, kinky chick. Jerry seemed certain I'd meet somebody compatible and he was going out with other people, too. Only he was the one who met someone else first.

"He came to see me as always and we made love. He lay on top of me, thrusting his prick into my ass as he held my breasts against his chest, my face against his. It was so close to what I now thought of as "the real thing," that after my spasmodic climax subsided and he held me under him, I wanted to tell him that I thought I was beginning to be "normal" after all. I was on the point of begging him to fuck me in the cunt when he rolled off and said he had something to tell me.

"There was another woman, that's what it amounted to. He still cared for me, yes, her cool fingers across our naked skin.

"Bill's asshole was very tight and very hot. I loved the feel of it-kinda like fucking a virgin. I was ready to shoot almost immediately, but I held off, waiting until Bill was ready also.

"Let me know when, Bill," I muttered, in sheer ecstasy. I heard Sheila moaning with each of his thrusts and her soft sounds made me all the more ready to shoot off.

"Oh man, it's coming! Fuck me hard, Denny! I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come!' He moved his body with incredible force. Then "I felt a tightening, a contraction in him, deep within his hot asshole which told me the first shot of sperm had leaped from his cock.

"Oh God!" Sheila shouted and then muffled her mouth with the mattress.

"I let go. I collapsed as my body poured my come into Bill's rectum. It seemed to ease out of me in one long gush, and I thought it would never end. Bill yelled in utter ecstasy as he felt the cream spurting hotly into his asshole from down the length of my cock and against his rubbery anal walls. He pumped his own cock as it emptied into Sheila in just the same way.

"I didn't want it to end. It was too perfect, too exciting, too magical. And I wasn't even stoned! I fucked him and her at the same time, it seemed, for the electricity was going through all three bodies. I finally pulled out of Bill's ass, giving Sheila a chance to breathe beneath our weight. Then he pulled out of her and we all sat on the bed.

"Sheila took Bill's wet, slippery cock into her mouth and licked off all the come. She sucked on it for a minute and the sight of her doing that excited me again and my cock began to harden.

"Bill put his head down and took me in his mouth, doing what she had done to him, cleansing me of the semen and sweat from his anal canal. Then he didn't stop until he had brought me to another orgasm, and just before I came I shoved two fingers up Sheila's spread ass and worked them around as Bill's wet come slipped out of her hole.

"Then I shot into his mouth, but the load wasn't nearly as big as the first one had been. He pulled his head away and we all lay on the bed. The film had run out and the camera was still going, but Bill was too beat to get up and turn it off. We all felt like we had been through a physical workout, alright.

"Again, as with all the other times, I felt a kind of revulsion toward Sheila. I liked her and I liked fucking her, but that was all she was good for. She wasn't very intelligent. But Bill was, he was brilliant, and I think he'll be a great filmmaker some day. I didn't mind talking to him, even after I had fucked him. But I was no longer interested in Sheila.

"I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm afraid that the chick's gonna turn around and ask for a vaginal fuck after the anal fuck is completed? Maybe I hate girls because of my mother? Maybe I'm crazy. But I don't find it screwing up my life. I'm pretty happy and now I'm really into working on films with Bill. Oh, I see Sheila around every now and then, but Bill and I have become close friends, and I still enjoy fucking him.

"I really hope one day that I'll be able to overcome my distaste for having women around as something other than sexual objects. That's all they are to me, a nice piece of ass-a nice ass-fuck, and nothing more. I guess it would be nice to get married when I'm older and maybe have kids, but not till I get it together about girls. I don't want to be fucking guys my whole life!

"It isn't a big thing and I'm not too worried about it, but I thought I'd mention it, in case you have any ideas. I always like to think ahead and look to the future."

Denholm's multiple deviations and their renunciation or the overcoming of them are dependent upon three factors.

First, there is his desire to overcome them, and secondly, they are dependent upon his ability to unite the two currents of love, the tender and affectionate feelings and the sexual feelings, a set of feelings that are very often quite divergent. Thirdly, his ability to come to terms with his desire for incest. The accomplishing of this task will necessarily lead him to a conscious realization that all his defenses are devised to counter this desire, which ultimately are the causes of his aberrations.

will be afraid to experiment with anal intercourse. Because a woman's sexual anatomy is diffuse, the problem of learning to enjoy anal intercourse is subtle and complex. She must learn to relax, to let herself go, to abandon herself. She must, above all, become aware of new sensations. Little wonder, then, that the transition from vaginal to anal intercourse with orgasm is not instantaneous, but something that takes time and understanding on the part of the man involved.

Even though maximum responsiveness may be long in coming, the learning period of anal experimentation need not be frustrating for the woman if the man is considerate in his actions. This is a time for gradual progression from the low-keyed sexuality of accustomed vaginal intercourse to the higher pitch of anal intercourse.

The goal for both the man and the woman should be to make their sexual experience as rewarding for both parties as possible. With skillful stimulation and patience from the man, more frequent orgasms from the woman can be hoped for in anal intercourse than might be experienced in the first few attempts.

Today, the range of possible sexual experience has widened tremendously. The emancipation of women, the increased education for both sexes, have encouraged sexual experimentation. Most men and women approach sex with the attitude that they will try almost anything once. They may not enjoy it, and may never repeat it, but they feel that the best way to find out about something is to try it.

As a result of this willingness to experiment sexually, manual-genital stimulation has become almost universal, oral-genital contact has become common, and anal intercourse has become one of the most popular of the "experiments," as opposed to the "standards" of manual and oral play. Because, as was explained earlier, the divorced woman is searching for some method of reassuring herself that it was not because of her lack of sexual ability that her marriage came to an end, it is quite common for analism to become the most popular method of sexual experimentation.

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