Chapter 3
Twelve-Year-Old Natalie and Her Foster Father Mr. A-
"There he was, my new foster father, husky and dark with eyes that looked as though they could see through things. Beside him was his wife, and it was hard to believe they were really a couple. She was overweight, plain and dowdy, about as unappealing as a woman could be. Why on earth did such a handsome man pick a woman like that? I wondered.
"The social worker introduced us, then left us alone for a few minutes to talk. My foster father, whose name was Mr. A-, explained to me about their having lost their son in an accident and how lonely they were without him. He also said he'd heard about my mother's death and my father's disappearance afterwards. He said he hoped we'd make each other forget the past and be happy. His wife didn't say anything.
"I guess she was a little ill at ease. She'd heard the bare facts about me, but probably she hadn't been told what I look like. For twelve years old, I had a lot going for me, enough to make older boys and grown men sit up and look. I think she was jealous from the very beginning.
"And from the very beginning, my foster father turned me on. I couldn't help it. After all he wasn't my real father and he was a very good-looking man. I was sure he was pretty unhappy with that lousy-looking wife of his, too. Somehow I knew it wouldn't be hard to get something going if I wanted to.
"Finally the social worker came back into the room, they signed some papers, and we were off in their big car to where they lived. It turned out to be a house like nothing I'd ever seen before. I don't know how many rooms there were. It was the kind of place where you imagine movie stars live with a big fence out front, several acres of trees and flowers, and a huge house where servants were bustling around madly.
Mr. A-was a business executive of some sort, but that was all I knew, and I certainly hadn't expected such luxury.
"It made me like him all the more, though, to think that he was a big success and could af-ford all these things. But I figured, too, that he'd be away a lot of the time and I'd be stuck in the big house with Mrs. A-. Also, I imagined that with his dough, he probably already had a mistress or two, and wouldn't pay any attention to me. v
"I was altogether wrong. It turned out that Mr. A-worked in an office at home and that his wife was away a lot, at women's club meetings and doing volunteer work to help the poor.
"To make things difficult, though, Mr. A-'s office and his 'private rooms' were in a different wing of the house from the room I'd been given. But he was situated nearer the pool than I was.
"He asked me one day if I'd like to use the pool, and all sorts of things flashed through my mind. I told him, 'Sure, if it's all right,' and he said he'd see to it that it was in shape, since nobody had used it for a while.
"The swimming pool was put in order before Mrs. A-had a chance to take me shopping, and at that point I had very few clothes and didn't even own a bathing suit. I decided I'd just go swimming in my underwear, that is, my bra and bikini panties. I knew they'd stick to me and show off my figure to the best possible advantage when they got wet. I just hoped Mr. A-would be around to notice.
"I draped a towel over my underwear and paraded through the big house to the pool area.
Still well concealed, I passed by the window where Mr. A-was working and was surprised to see that the draperies were open. He looked up as I went by and waved to me. I had a hunch he was going to watch whatever I did.
"When I got to the pool, I threw down the towel and went down the steps. I swam a few strokes, then turned around and swam back; the pool was longer than any of the ones I'd ever been in before. Besides, I hadn't done any swimming in a long time and I was getting tired fast. I stayed in as long as I could, to make it look as though I'd really appreciated his getting the pool ready for me, then I got out.
"My bra and panties were now almost transparent. And they were wrinkled, clinging to me. My breasts are a full C-cup, with a nice bit of cleavage in between. As I got out of the pool, I kept hoping that Mr. A-was watching, also that no one else from the house was. Mrs. A-, of course, was away.
"I dried off with the towel, then lay down on it beside one of the peculiar-looking statues. An instant later, I looked up and saw that Mr. A-was bending over me. For an instant I was afraid he was going to mention something about my not having a bathing suit, but I needn't have worried.
"'It's a little chilly out here, even with the sun,' he said. 'Why don't you come into my office and we'll light a fire in the fireplace.'
"I bounded up. 'That sounds great,' I said.
"His office was a fantastic room, so masculine looking, with dark-paneled walls and leather chairs, everything brown and black. I liked it instantly because most of the house is white and gold and delicate looking. There was something really cozy about this room.
"To my surprise, instead of calling in one of the servants, he built the fire himself. When it was flickering brightly, he turned to me.
"'Why don't you get out of your wet things. I'll get you a robe. It's one of mine, but it's nice and warm."
"I was really kind of bewildered. Everything could have been meant just to be kind and friendly, or it could have meant that he was on the verge of seducing me. Or letting me seduce him. I decided that he probably wasn't sure himself. He was really such a nice man. I knew he wouldn't force me to do anything against my will. But I had a feeling that he was attracted to me, too, and would be overjoyed if I let him know I felt the same way.
"As he went to the closet for the robe, I stripped off my wet underwear. I watched him as he came toward me, and I knew that he was admiring my naked body.
"'I don't really need the robe,' I said.
"'Yes, the fire is getting quite warm, isn't it?'
"If only he weren't so formal! I knew I'd have to start things, but I wasn't sure how. I'd played around with boys a little bit, but they were always the ones who got things going. I'd never gone the whole way, though, mainly because the boys I was with didn't seem to want to for some reason or other.
"'Mr. A-,' I began, 'I don't really think of you as a father. I hope you don't mind. I think of you more as a friend.'
"That's perfectly all right, Natalie. I'd like to be your friend.'
"I could see I wasn't getting anywhere very fast. 'What if I said, I'd like to be your girl friend?' I ventured.
"'I'd be very flattered, indeed,' he said, still as formal as could be.
"'I'm old enough, really I am,' I said confidently.
"'Do you know what you're saying?' He looked at me quizzically.
"'I know. Even though I'm still a virgin, I know what I want.' It took a bit of nerve to say that, but I managed to get it out.
"'Natalie, you're a beautiful girl, almost a woman. I've thought you were beautiful ever since I first saw you. And I'm a very lonely man. I won't bother to tell you about the kind of marriage we have, but it's far from ideal. For a long time, I've dreamed of a beautiful girl coming into my life, and here you are....'
"Completely dry now and completely naked, I slowly approached him and let him take me in his arms. I knew that he wasn't sure yet about what he should do. He was really pretty square, but I knew, too, that he needed me. I looked up at his face.
"'I hope I can make you happy,' I said.
"'And I hope that I never make you unhappy,' he responded.
"I thought there was something awfully sweet in his saying that. It made it seem almost like a real love affair, which is what I really wanted, but I knew it was something quite different. He liked me, but it would be too much to expect him to love me. So few people have ever loved me. I have to put up with what I can get, I guess.
"He held me for a long time, caressing my back and shoulders. At last I raised my face toward his and he brought his lips down upon mine. It was a soft and beautiful kiss. His mouth moved slowly over mine, finally opening it. His tongue explored the inside of my lips and then prodded deep into my mouth.
"This all stirred in me a quivering kind of response. It was so tender, so gentle, so carefully designed to arouse desires that had been hidden in me until now. I could feel that kiss clear down to my pussy, I swear. All I knew was that I wanted more of whatever it was he wanted to give me.
"He led me to the big leather couch and stretched me out on it. I knew from the way he looked at me that my naked body was a delightful sight to him. I also knew that he was full of hesitation, but that it was too late to turn back. Something was bound to happen now.
"'I'm really too old to be your lover,' he said, almost shyly.
"I realized then that he was a little scared about getting undressed in front of me, afraid that his body might not appeal to me.
"'But I'm crazy about you,' I told him. 'All my favorite movie stars are about your age. And you're like one of them, only I don't know which one.'
"I know how babyish that must have sounded, but I didn't dare let him know how really aware I was. And at that moment, I felt as though I knew all that was going on in his mind. I understood this man a lot better than he understood me.
"Anyway I got up from the couch and started helping him out of his exquisite sport clothes. He really needed me to sort of take over, you see. The poor guy was really all mixed up inside, yet he wanted me, and I was going to make sure that he'd have me.
"He was beautifully built, really, with broad shoulders, heavy arms, and dark hair on his chest that matched the hair on his head. His prick, when I saw it, startled me a little, for I'd never really seen one in a state of erection before. My father used to go around the house nude, but never with a hard on. And there's a big difference. I suppose every girl goes through this once; after trying to imagine what such a thing could be like, she is suddenly confronted with a real one, big and powerful looking.
"Before he had any chance to continue with seducing me, I just grabbed that prick and began to play with it. I knew enough to be gentle and to avoid the very tip, but I wasn't quite sure what I should be doing. I just explored it and stroked it admiringly. I'm sure he was surprised that I had so much nerve, but he was happy about it, too.
"Soon he took my breasts in his hands, kneading them and squeezing them. I loved the way it felt, and I also enjoyed looking at his hands on my lovely breasts, his big, hairy hands on my soft, white skin. It was so animal-like and yet so gentle.
"Instants later we were both on the couch, me somewhat under him, although he rested on his side instead of climbing on top of me. He was so big, I guess he didn't want to put all of his weight on me.
"I curled one of my legs over his so he could get to my pussy. Slowly his hand crept up my thigh and finally landed on the mound of soft hair. He ran his fingers along the outside for several moments, then opened the lips to where I was all tender and wet.
"I nearly screamed when he touched me there.
Up until now, nothing had ever excited me so much. I was trembling all over as his hand began to travel over the soft, sensitive surfaces.
"'I want it,' I murmured. 'You can tell, can't you? I want it.'
"This is more than I ever dreamed possible,' he said and went right on stroking my pussy.
"I squirmed and wriggled to let him know I was ready, but he seemed in no hurry to proceed. Finally he reached one of his fingers up inside me. I tightened my grip on it with my pussy.
"'I want something bigger,' I said.
"At last he put his cock between the parted lips of my cunt and began to move it around, over my clitoris, around the opening, and downward toward my ass. There was the slick sound of my wetness as he did this. And what I felt is almost impossible to describe. I thought I knew my pussy fairly well from my own explorations, but I'd had no idea how many places it is sensitive. And the touch of someone else, someone wonderful and attractive, is so very different.
"I was really ready for it, and I guess he knew that, for he pointed the tip of his prick toward the opening. It took a little while to get it in. He was so careful not to hurt me. I'm sure there was no hymen there, but my pussy was awfully small that first time.
"Finally it was inside, filling me, stretching me. I looked at him and I could hardly believe that this thing was really happening, that this handsome, rich, successful man was making love to me. His prick was still for several seconds; I guess he wanted to give me a chance to get used to it. Then he began a slow, sensual movement in and out. My cunt was so wet that this proved very easy. Soon I was moving with him. He reached one hand around to my rear to help me move, pulling me to him again and again.
"'It's fantastic,' I whispered. I meant it, too. I'd experienced none of the disappointment that I've read about and heard other girls talk about. From the very beginning, I thought that sex was wonderful.
"As he fucked me, he planted little kisses on my cheeks, my forehead, and even on my nose. I played with his ears and ran my fingers deep into his wavy hair. He was a really gorgeous man. I hoped I wouldn't fall in love with him and spoil things.
"Almost without warning his thrusts speeded up and became more forceful. That I loved, and I' was really beginning to get somewhere, or at least I think I was.
"'My God, it's been such a long time,' he groaned.
"He was plunging his cock deeper and deeper into me and I responded with a more intense movement of my hips. But just seconds later, with one last violent thrust, I knew it was over.
He clasped me to him and moaned. Inside my pussy I could feel the throbbing of his cock. It was only later, when he pulled it out, that I was aware of the sticky liquid he'd left inside.
"'I'm so sorry,' he was saying in a faint voice. 'I wanted it to be better for you.'
"I kissed him softly at the side of the mouth and smiled down at him. His eyes were only half open.
"'Don't feel bad,' I said. 'Nobody comes the first time, do they? I loved it. I loved every minute of it.'
"'You dear little thing,' he said. 'I wish I could give you more right now, but I just can't.'
"There's always later,' I said. 'We aren't going to just stop, are We, forever?'
"'I guess we've started something, haven't we?' he said.
"'Haven't we?' I said with a little laugh.
"Well, that was my seduction of Mr. A-, or his seduction of me, whichever way you want to put it. I wasn't in the least disappointed that I hadn't come, though I felt kind of strange for a while afterwards. I was shaky, especially in the legs.
"Later, when I was back in my room, I lay down on the bed and recreated the whole scene in my imagination. I took my hand and let it travel gently over my pussy the way he had done with his. I inserted a finger and found it wasn't enough, so I tried two.
"I pictured him being right there with me and masturbated like crazy, rubbing my clit with one hand and finger-fucking myself with the other. For a while I was afraid it wasn't going to work, because it was far less exciting than having a real man making love to me.
"To make it better, I let my imagination go wild. I pretended there were ten guys -lined up and one was fucking me while the others watched and waited their turn. The idea really turned me on. Instead of thinking about Mr. A-, I was just thinking of wild sex.
"At last my pussy tightened around my fingers and the pulsations' started. My ass jerked up and down and my fingers worked like mad until I'd come all I could. I kept my hands close to my pussy for a long time, feeling the throbbing gradually decrease. Then I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the maid called me for dinner.
"We had dinner in the big, formal dining room, which is a very spooky place. For some reason only our end of the table is lighted and the rest of the room is all dark. And as usual, dinner was a very quiet, polite affair, with Mrs.
A-telling Mr. A-about her good works and her social climbing and the rest of it.
"That night I was particularly proud of myself, though. I had a big secret with Mr. A-and his homely little wife would never in the world suspect how she had been cheated. I could feel superior to this rich bitch who made a pretence of being a mother to me.
"For the next few days, much to my distress, Mr. A-was away from the house during the times his wife was away. He may have had business deals or something important to attend to, but I suspected he was feeling pangs of guilt over what had happened and was purposely trying to avoid me.
"One evening, though, Mrs. A-went out to take care of some sick people quite unexpectedly, and he and I were left by ourselves. I followed him into the den and pretended to watch the news on TV with him until I was sure all the servants were out of earshot. Then I crossed the room and perched myself seductively on the edge of his chair, my bare legs dangling in front of him.
"'Here's our chance,' I whispered in his ear.
"He turned to me, his expression very stern and serious. 'Natalie, I've been thinking about this. I can't be doing you any good...."
"'Don't be silly,' I said coyly. 'You know I'm not a child. If it hadn't been you, it would have been someone else. Sooner or later, it was bound to happen. Would you rather I had an affair with one of the servants?'
"I thought that would get him, make him jealous.
"He didn't say anything, just put his big, hairy arms around me and nuzzled his head against my breasts.
"'I'll take good care of you, better than anyone else could. I promise you.'
"Soon we were on our way to his office, which we figured would be the safest place. In a house full of servants you have to be careful, but nobody disturbs, him in his office when he's working or pretending to be.
"He lit a fire in the fireplace just like before. And I started to take off my clothes.
"'You're sure you have no regrets, little one? You weren't upset after last time?' he asked me softly.
"'I was dying for more,' I told him.
"'I sort of left you hanging, I'm afraid,' he said. 'I'm sorry about that.'
"All my clothes were lying in a heap on the floor. Completely nude now, I tiptoed up to-him and reached up to kiss him.
"Feverishly he took me in his arms and clamped his hungry mouth down on mine. He can't resist me, I thought. I snuggled and squirmed against him, all the while twisting my lips vigorously against his. By the time our tongues were entwined, I could feel the hardness of his cock against my belly. His hands wandered tenderly over my soft, bare skin.
"I sure was hot for it. My nipples tingled and my pussy was getting wetter by the minute. Pressing my body closer to him, I parted my legs a little so I could feel his thigh against my cunt. Then I realized I'd probably get my juices all over his pants, so I pulled back.
"That kiss left me panting and a little weak. The next job, though, was to get his clothes off as fast as possible. I started unbuttoning his shirt, and an instant later he went to work to help me, taking care of the more difficult details like the belt buckle and the buttons at the waist of his pants. I helped him get his shoes off, then took care of the socks, just like an obedient little slave. And for him, I wouldn't have minded being a slave.
"At last he was just the way I wanted him-naked, with his prick pointing straight out. Then he picked me up so that my head was level with his. At once I clasped my legs around his waist. My cunt was just over his prick. He was so strong; it took practically no effort at all for him to support all my weight this way.
"I wiggled my ass and tried to reach for his prick with my cunt, but I couldn't quite make it.
"Once again he kissed me, with even more passion than before, breathing hard into my mouth. We were both sweating by now, too.
"Finally, still holding me in his arms with my legs around his waist, he transported me to the couch and stretched me out. Expecting him to mount me, I spread my legs wide apart.
"Instead, he did something else that was out of this world. He put his head between my legs and started licking at my pussy with his tongue.
It was utterly wild. He seemed to know where all the sensitive parts were and just what to do to them.
"I lay there, grinding-my hips slowly, not even caring if he fucked me or not. This was so terrific. I knew there was some big word for it, but I couldn't remember what it was and I didn't care. All I knew was that I loved it and the crazy things it did to me.
"He kept going back and forth between my clit and my hole, sometimes trying to put his tongue into me, which didn't really work, but it felt wonderful anyway. His saliva was mixing with my juices so that I was incredibly wet and could feel the liquid dripping down to my ass. My whole cunt was charged, ready for anything he might want to do to it.
"Finally, and with great reluctance, I think, he pulled his mouth away and looked at me for a moment.
"'Do you want me to go on?' he asked.
"'Anything you want,' I told him, not caring what happened as long as it had to do with my pussy.
"He sat up on his knees and showed me his cock, all swollen and hard as ever. " 'Yes,' I said, yea.'
"'Do you want it inside of you?' he asked me. " 'Yes,' I said again.
"'I'd be heavy on top of you. Would you mind being on top?'
"I shrugged. 'Why not?' I was game for anything.
"I got up and let him lie down on the couch with his cock pointing up toward the ceiling.
"'First you sit on me,' he instructed. 'Or just get over me in a kind of sitting position.'
"I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work, but I did as he said, crouching over him, my knees bent, my pussy touching the very end of his cock. He took one hand and used it to open my pussy wider, and with the other hand prepared to steer his cock into it.
"'Now, bear down, nice and easy. Tell me if it hurts and we'll stop a minute.'
"I pressed down with all my weight. It did hurt a little and I wasn't sure his cock was pointed in the right direction, but I wasn't about to say anything. I wanted that cock in me so badly. It took a little while and a little bit of maneuvering, but finally we were fitted together. That cock felt even bigger inside me than it had the first time.
"Underneath me, he began to rotate his hips slowly, ever so gently so that it didn't hurt me. In fact, it felt marvelous. I propped my hands against the couch and began to move, too. What little bit of pain I'd felt had all gone away now and I was really hot.
"This position was nice in a way. We could watch the expressions on each other's faces and I loved to see what I was doing to him, Also, he could fondle my breasts which felt really great. But, somehow, I wanted to be closer to him, wanted our two bodies to melt together. Hesitantly, I started to bend forward. He nodded for me to lie down against him and I did so.
"It was wonderful the way our two bodies were together now, my head at his shoulder and the hairs on his chest tickling my breasts. His cock felt different inside me too. It seemed to be jiggling and jostling around my whole insides as he moved it in and out of my cunt. I couldn't move so much now as before, but that didn't matter. This position was really something else. My clit was rubbing against the coarse, curly hair around his cock, and up against my ass I could feel his balls. Wow! I couldn't believe anything could be such a turn-on.
"We churned away like this, although really he did most of the work. My pussy grew hotter and hotter as his cock slipped and slurped in and out. I was lost to the world. If I'd thought about it, I'd have known for sure that I was going to come. But I didn't think about that or anything else. I just let it happen, and finally-when I hardly expected it at all-it did happen!
"I was suddenly struck by an enormous twinge of sensation that began in my pussy and spread through my whole body. Suddenly my ass was bobbing up and. down in a way I'd thought impossible, pumping at his cock with my pussy, which seemed to open and close all by itself.
"'Oooooooh,' I moaned and strange little sounds kept coming from my throat. I couldn't help it.
"It lasted and lasted, too. After all, I'd saved up for that orgasm for a while. And it was altogether unbelievable, nothing like the times I'd made myself come playing with myself. My whole body was doing weird things, like a person having a fit, and my cunt was pulling at his cock as though it was about to pull it off!
"My own sensations were just beginning to become a little more faint when he started plunging his cock up into me with more force than ever. I knew that he was coming, too, that I'd made him come.
"It was terribly violent, at least as fierce as what I'd gone through. He thrashed about and groaned loudly. His face was scarcely recognizable. He gripped at my shoulders as though he were holding on for his life.
"I sat up, watching him until it was over, then I collapsed on top of him, the wet liquid pouring down from my cunt and the sticky sweat seeming to glue us together. We lay like that for a long time, neither of us saying or doing anything. I felt simply wonderful. It had been a really fantastic experience.
"From then on we got together quite a lot. I didn't have to go out of my way to persuade him to have sex. He wanted it just as much as I did and was willing to admit it. And we were lucky that Mrs. A-kept finding reasons for being away from the house.
"I guess you'd call it an affair. It wasn't a love affair, though; never once did Mr. A-say anything about 'love' to me. He was always very tender and very sweet and, I think, in a strange sort of way he did care for me. Yet, for some peculiar reason, he never suggested that I call him anything but Mr. A-.
"I know how odd the whole thing sounds, but I really believe our affair did me a lot of good. It made me stop feeling bad about my parents and all, and it made me feel like a woman. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't have wanted it to be any different."
Although Natalie's case might seem strange to persons outside the spheres of social work and psychology, actually it is quite typical in a number of ways. As one noted psychologist, and member of the faculty of Wayne State University, has pointed out: "The very name 'foster daughter' has a sexual connotation to it. It's one of the unfortunate semantic offshoots of our time," Natalie's experience also fits the description of Lolitas which many experts have come to consider classic. The late Dr. Linus Foster described the situation thus: "I believe many cases of sexual relations between a very young girl and an older man are provoked by the girl."
In considering Natalie as an individual, the driving force behind her behavior was, of course, an extreme need for love and affection. Having suffered from the trauma of losing her family, she really needed, most of all, surrogate parents, which foster homes are supposed to provide. Had it been feasible to place Natalie with relatives or with a couple whom she had known previously, it might have been possible for her to have established a somewhat normal child-parent relationship. The foster home, on the other hand, where the persons involved were complete strangers to her, allowed Natalie to mold and create another, very different kind of relationship.
The type of foster home in which she was placed is significant, too. The A-s were extremely wealthy people and enjoyed a life style different from that which she had previously known. This made it easy for Natalie to have a "crush" on Mr. A-and picture him as someone like a movie star. In a more typical type of family situation, Natalie might have reacted quite differently. As it was, however, she placed Mr. A-on a pedestal, worshipped him, and subsequently seduced him, with the same guilelessness a movie fan might go about securing the autograph of a favorite star.
The personalities of the A-s also helped create the situation which made for the affair.
Mrs. A-, although supposedly devoted to helping those in need, showed little warmth or affection toward Natalie. She did not make any overtures toward being a mother to the girl possibly because of the shock of the recent death of her son. Quite possibly for the same reason, Mr. A-did not assert himself as a father. In addition, as Natalie herself found out, their marriage was not a happy one. Although Mr. A-seemed disinclined to become sexually involved with Natalie, he was definitely ripe for an affair with someone. Natalie perceived him as "square," or conservative. Significantly he had probably abstained from extramarital relations during most of his married life and lacked the initiative to become involved in an affair which might have been more appropriate for him. Yet, when Natalie presented herself to him, he did not have the strength to resist her. Of all the persons concerned here, it was probably Mr. A-who was most severely hurt by what ensued.
"Mrs. A's habits really made it convenient for us. The difficult thing, though, was avoiding the servants, who seemed to be everywhere. Most of the time we got together in Mr.
A's office, but frankly we got a little tired of that.
"For a change, we began meeting in the guest-house, which is a marvelous little cottage out by the swimming pool. It's rarely used, so the servants don't go there on their daily rounds of the property unless asked to do so. We had to be careful, leaving the house at different times and all that, but I think we managed to escape any of the servants' notice.
"There we had our choice of two bedrooms and sometimes we'd use the blue one, sometimes the yellow one. We didn't dare turn on any lights or open any windows, of course, but it was very nice, especially in the blue room with the big king-sized bed.
"It was in the blue room that Mr. A-taught me how to suck his cock. He showed me how to curl my lips around my teeth and do all sorts of little things with my tongue. Little by little, I learned how to take it way into my mouth and how to keep on going for an almost endless length of time. He didn't like to come that way, though; he'd always have me stop and then we'd fuck.
"It was in the blue room, too, that we met our fate. And we were having one of the best times we'd ever had when it happened....
"I'd come in from the swimming pool, which I'd been using quite a lot, partly so the servants could account for what I'd been doing if ever asked, and partly because it turned Mr. A-on to see me all wet and almost naked. It's surprising that he even liked me in the awful bath-ing suit Mrs. A-picked out for me. It covered practically my whole torso.
"Anyway, there I was in my bathing suit and towel. Mr. A-was already in bed waiting for me, I ran to where he was and tore back the covers. As I'd expected, he was naked.
"He pulled me to him and pressed his lips down hard against mine. I responded, not only with my mouth but with my hands, which grabbed his cock and started massaging it gently. It didn't take long for it to get hard, even though my hands were cold.
"Finally I drew myself away, breathless, and turned so that he could reach the zipper on my bathing suit. As he unzipped it, I wiggled my arms out of the wide straps and let the whole thing fall down around my waist. I stood up, cupping my breasts in my hands to show them off, then peeled the suit down.
"'You're cold,' he declared. 'Get under the covers. The electric blanket is on.'
"He was right. I was shivering, even though my cunt was hot. I crawled under the covers. Much as I wanted to, I didn't get close to him because I know how it feels to have somebody cold touch you. But pretty soon the electric blanket had made my goose bumps disappear.
"'Comfortable now, little one?' he asked me.
"In answer I started purring and crawled closer to him. He put his arms around me, then let his hands go wherever they pleased. He was always so tender, so gentle, never in any hurry.
"I was the one who finally sat up and threw back the covers, then bent over his cock. Slowly I began to pump it with my mouth, taking it way in and sucking gently. He moaned contentedly. An instant later he grabbed my ass. I knew what he wanted, so I let him swing me around so that I was over him and my cunt was on his mouth.
"I kept on sucking, but what I was most aware of was that marvelous tongue of his lapping at my hot pussy. God, was I hot! It was right before my period and that's when I enjoy sex most of all.
"We both kept up the same kind of sensual, slow rhythm for a long time. There was such a beautiful harmony about it, each of us doing something and each of us aware of the other's responses. Gradually, of course, that rhythm became more intense. Finally we were eating each other with a wild frenzy, sucking, chewing, nibbling. We could have both come in no time at all if we'd gone on this way. And if we'd have finished it off fast, well, then, a lot of other things might have been different....But one never knows what's going to happen. That's one thing I've learned.
"So just as we were both about to burst with pleasure, he rolled me over on my back and got on top of me.
"'You want it this way, don't you?' he asked.
He always wanted to make sure I was getting what I wanted.
"'Yes,' I whispered. 'I want you inside me.' I'd stopped using words like fuck' or 'cunt' or 'prick' with him and he never used them either. Our relationship was different from that, more formal, I guess.
"I wrapped my legs around him and reached for his cock with my hand to guide it where I wanted it. It slipped in ever so easily now. Deeper and deeper it went and I loved the way it felt. I even gave a little scream of delight.
"Then we were fucking, slowly at first, both of us moving together. He kept covering my face with little kisses. I clasped my arms around him tightly and soon became lost in the magic rhythm of our organs meeting and separating.
"I felt so happy, so close to him, yet at the same time I was completely abandoned in the enjoyment of sex. Faster and faster it became. The sweat from both our bodies mingled. My cunt grew tighter, pulling his cock into me. I knew that I wasn't far from coming and I wanted to put it off if I could. Those last few minutes before you make it are the best part of the whole thing.
"He was close, too. I could tell by the way he plunged his cock into me with a lot of force and the way he tugged roughly at my shoulders. Our eyes met and we looked at each other in sheer wonder at the fantastic thing that was happening to us.
"Then I heard something. I wasn't sure what it was and I almost ignored it, but an instant later there were footsteps approaching us. He'd heard something too. We stopped, frozen in our embrace.
"Looking down on us in the dim room was Mrs. A-. I couldn't make out the expression on her face. I've tried to reconstruct it in my mind. I'd have loved to have seen what she looked like at that very moment. But at the time, what I felt most of all was fright and, of course, surprise.
"Well, the old bitch didn't take it very calmly. In fact, what she did was grab one of the bedside lamps and crash it down on Mr.
A's back. But she didn't have much strength, I guess, because the lamp didn't break and neither did Mr. A-'s back.
"'You dirty, filthy creature!' she began shouting.
"It was a minute or two before I realized it was her husband she was talking to, not me. I guess she didn't know that females can enjoy sex or want it. Anyway, she called him a lot of names, although she didn't swear once. Then she made him crawl off me.
"He was too stunned to do anything but what she said. As he withdrew from me, he covered himself with the sheet. I wondered if he had a practice of never appearing nude in front of his wife.
"'You poor motherless creature,' she was saying to me. 'Did he hurt you? Shall I call a doctor?'
"I shook my head. 'He didn't hurt me. Please, don't make a fuss. It's not his fault....'
"'Not his fault! I'll never believe that. I know what he's like.' Then her voice assumed that insipid softness again. 'To think that this could happen to you. In my home. Under my very eyes. Oh, you poor, poor child.' She looked as though she was about to cry, but her anger took over again.
"She slapped her husband across the face once, then marched out, muttering something about calling her attorney.
"I tried to sympathize with Mr. A-tried to tell him that it hadn't been his fault, that I'd help him if I could. He didn't want to talk. It wasn't because his wife had actually injured him, I was sure of that. Maybe he was wondering about the money he'd lose in a divorce case, or the bad publicity he might get. Maybe he really did love that bitch of a woman. Or maybe he actually thought he'd been some cause of harm to me. I don't know, and I suppose I'll never know. That was the last time I ever saw him. The next day, one of the maids helped me pack up all my things and the chauffeur drove me to the social agency where I'd come from.
"I wasn't terribly distressed. I've been through tougher things and I've learned that you don't dare dwell on bad things when they happen. Sometimes life is good and sometimes it isn't. You have to put up with it, that's all."
It was sometime after her stay with the A's that Natalie finally told all this to a social worker. After leaving the A's, Natalie was placed in another foster home and again became involved sexually with the man of the house. This time it was less her doing, as she explained it. The man made all the overtures. She did not find him as attractive or as sexually competent as her previous lover had been, but felt forced to comply with his wishes. This is another pattern of behavior which sometimes is revealed in a close study of what really goes on in foster homes.
Natalie was shuffled about from one home to another until she was eighteen. By then she had completed high school, although not with an outstanding record. Nevertheless she was able to support herself in a modest way as a file clerk. Nothing is known of her further sexual involvements.
The one social worker to whom Natalie had confided her secrets felt that Natalie was a very bright, though somewhat disturbed girl, whose intelligence would be of little use until her problems received proper handling. Of impor-tance, this social worker thought, was the fact that Natalie perceived herself to be at the hand of fate, continually swayed by forces beyond her control. Perhaps this originated when she lost her parents, perhaps even earlier in her development. At any rate, a more normal kind of environment during her adolescent years might have helped her grow to maturity and gain self-confidence.
Unfortunately, there are many Natalies, young people who have been deprived of their natural parents for one reason or another and never have a stable home life during the crucial years of growing up. Foster homes occasionally provide a suitable environment, but very often they do not. Better screening of potential foster parents would seem to be essential. Even so, it-is difficult to predict what will happen to a particular girl in a particular setting. Furthermore, people willing to take in foster children are in great demand.
It is Natalie's entire case history, rather than her brief interlude with Mr. A-, that is tragic. And it is all the more so because it occurs so frequently and because no one solution to the problem of parentless children is viable.