Chapter 5
ROSE
The subject is a twenty-two year old switchboard operator who is employed by an electronics firm in Detroit. She is somewhat plump and very dark. This interview took place in the front seat of my car because she didn't want to bring me to her room which was in a black ghetto.
"Man, if my neighbors saw me bringing a white fellow up to my pad I'd be ruined. They would get the idea that I was hustling my ass and peg me as a whore. Now I'm a hard working girl and I get my money with sweat rather than pussy. It's just as easy to talk into this tape machine right here on the front seat of your car anyhow.
"There are a lot of blacks in Detroit but not many work for the same place I do. The head man says he'd hire blacks if they were only qualified as electronic engineers. He does hire a lot of Orientals, though, so this proves he isn't racial.
"The reason I'm at the switchboard is to give people the idea that there are a lot more blacks in the place than there really are. I have a slight Negro accent, you see, so, when someone calls, they hear my voice and this gives them the impression there are black faces all over the joint.
"In Detroit a firm cannot afford to give any other impression because of the large black community.
"I make a good salary and I can't kick. For a girl who barely got through high school I'm doing a hell of a lot better than most blacks. I'm saving most of my money to buy into real estate eventually.
"That's where the money is. The value of the dollar may go down but real estate is good and solid; the best investment you can make. I'm no lazy nigger; I have ambitions. One of these days I'll have people working for me.
"You might call me the white sheep of the family. My father was a lazy ass who stole welfare checks. He kept going to jail but I don't think he minded because he always got free meals and a place to stay. That's all some men want.
"When I told you that I barely got through high school I didn't mean that I was stupid. I just didn't have time to sudy because, besides school, I put in thirty hours a week at a local supermarket nearby. My family needed every cent I could earn.
"I was turned off the idea of marriage very early when I saw how my father treated my mother. I made up my mind that I wouldn't let any man take advantage of me like that. If I wanted sex I would have it but I sure as hell wouldn't marry for it.
"When I was fifteen I lost my cherry to a black stud who lived on the floor below mine. He was a handsome cat who was only a year older than I was but mature for his age. Where I come from you can be old at ten.
"Cole was his name and he beat up anyone who called him Black Cole. He was very dark, even darker than I was. I guess that's why I liked him. I couldn't stand those high-yellow cats who pretended that they were Indians and part white.
"Well, maybe they were but they didn't have to brag about it. They made it sound like they were ashamed of being black. Cole took me into his room after his parents were out of the house. He said we only had an hour or so to be alone in so we should take advantage of it.
"We took off our clothes and the boy pushed my tits up with both hands. 'You've got woman-sized boobies,' he told me and then sucked each of my nipples.
"At the age of fifteen I was well developed. Right now I'm overly developed but I think I'll keep myself like this. People are too fat conscious these days and, besides, I feel more comfortable with a little extra weight.
"I'm not only proud of my color, I'm proud of my weight. Pride, that's what it takes to get places these days. It seems I went off the subject a bit.
"I was telling you about this sixteen year old black cat who was going down on my tits. Cole sucked both of my breasts and then brought me into his bed. His dong stood up like a dark iron rod and he pushed it into my cleft.
"He sank all the way into my body and then-was some pain as he tore through my virginity. At the age of fifteen most girls in the neighborhood were experienced and now I had joined the ranks.
"The stud breathed excitedly as he thrust into my sex. I could feel his heart pounding wildly against one of my breasts. Oh, it was so wonderful as he rammed his big tool into my tool box for the first time.
"I could now understand why some women put up with so much from some men. But, while screwing was nice, I didn't want to lose my head over it and become a walking mat to a stud just because he had that important hunk of meat between his legs.
"Cole pumped away and grunted when he let loose. I pushed up against him as he poured his stuff into me. When we parted both our bodies were moist with sweat. The boy sucked my nipples again until his battery was recharged.
"When his dick got stiff he mounted me for the second time and screwed. Because he had already shot one load it took him a little longer to reach a climax. I didn't mind because it meant he was inside me and thrusting for a longer period.
"When he shot his juice he lay on top of me until his dick became soft and limp. Even then he still lay there. This was a mistake because he used up the entire hour without knowing it and his mother opened the door to the apartment. We tried to get into our clothes but she caught us both naked.
"She called me a tramp, slut, and all kinds of names like that and acted as if I had seduced her boy. My pubic area was bloody and so were the bed covers so I could prove that I had been a virgin.
"The woman went upstairs and brought my mother down. Pretty soon both of them were screaming at one another. My mother called Cole a sex fiend, rapist and a lot of other stuff. While both women went at it tooth and nail, I slipped out of the apartment with Cole. We laughed. It all seemed so funny.
"Since I didn't get knocked up, there was no talk of marriage which was fine with me. Cole was a great stud but I knew he would make a lousy husband. Men can go from woman to woman for sex so why couldn't women go from man to man?
"At the age of fifteen, that's what I planned to do. Marriage, if there was ever going to be one, could wait. I screwed around with a couple of other boys who were willing to marry but I turned them down.
"This rocked them because just about every girl in the neighborhood wanted to marry as soon as possible. Some did marry while still in their teens and I thought they were stupid.
"When a ghetto girl marries a ghetto boy they condemn themselves to poverty for the rest of their lives. When I became eighteen I moved out of my home but not out of the ghetto. I wanted to live on the lowest possible rent and that's why I stayed.
"But some day, I'll get out once I've saved up enough money to buy into the real estate business. I didn't want to work in the ghetto, though, because the good paying jobs were outside it. I went to work for a big department store as a stock girl.
"It was hard work but it paid well enough for a beginner. I would have stayed on except that I saw girls ... white girls ... who had been hired after me going on to better jobs behind the counters.
"When I complained to the manager he told me that, if I didn't like it, I could always quit. Well, I had restroom much pride to stay on knowing that I was being discriminated against so I left. As a single girl with a few bucks saved I could afford to make that change.
"Some older black women with children to support had no other choice but to hang on. The more I saw of them the more I was glad I hadn't tied myself down to a husband and kids.
"I went to work for the electronics firm next and started on the bottom as a stock girl again. I worked my black ass off to show my white employers that they couldn't prevent me from climbing up in the firm because I didn't perform my duties.
"And yet, as before, white girls who had been hired after I had got promotions while I stayed in the stock room. My immediate superior was a white man in his thirties. Hank had a reputation with the girls as a fanny patter and a tit squeezer.
"We all knew that he had been married and divorced twice. Since he was a big, handsome guy not many girls complained about the feels he grabbed. He had never touched me, though, and I didn't know if it was me or my color he didn't like. When I didn't get promoted I assumed it was my color.
"I stormed into the guy's office and demanded to know why I, the best worker in the stock room, was not going on to higher paying jobs. Hank grinned and said, 'Rose, I'm keeping you here because you are such a good worker.'
"He put me off with this compliment and I found myself losing steam. 'Then I'll guess I'll start goofing off,' I told him.
"The man slipped his arm around my shoulder. 'Oh, I wouldn't do that, honey,' he said softly. 'I wouldn't want to fire you.'
"I just didn't know what to make out of Hank. In the department store the manager told me to leave if I didn't like working conditions so this made it easy for me to go my own way. But Hank was using soft soap and sweet talk telling me that he was keeping me on because he liked me.
"And, yet, at the same time, he said he would fire me if I would work less. And there was that arm that was snaking all over my body. This was something that department store manager never tried to do.
"It was strangely exciting being touched so personally by a handsome white man. Being a girl with a low sexual boiling point it didn't take much to heat me up.
"Hank could see that he was thrilling me and his touch became more intimate. He placed his hand over my rear and said, 'Stay after work and we can talk about your promotion. I'm busy right now.'
"I left the office trembling. I had gone in full of fright, but Hank had melted it away with his charm. I didn't know if he was trying to stall me with that promise to talk about a promotion later but I was willing enough to wait and find out.
"When work ended for the day I went back to the office. Hank was seated behind the desk and he smiled when I came in. 'Well, Rose, I understand you have a problem?' he said.
'"I've already told you about it,' I said. 'I wonder why I'm left back in the stock room while white girls go on to better jobs.'
'"White girls?' he exclaimed. 'Why, Rose, you make it sound like the firm is discriminating against you.'
'"Isn't it?"
'"Of course not! This is an equal opportunity firm which means people of all colors have an equal opportunity to rise and fall on their own merits.'
'"Then why don't I rise? You told me that I was a good worker. And don't tell me that bull about me being so good that you want to keep me here.'
"Hank shook his head and grinned. 'Rose, you hurt me. I can't stand a pretty girl being angry. I'm for making love and not war.'
"He slipped his hands around my waist and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Outside the working section was very still and quiet since everyone had left. We were alone, a white man and a black girl.
"He kissed me on the lips again only harder and longer. 'There, isn't this better than fighting, Rose?' he wanted to know.
'"Of course it is,' I answered. 'But there is a time and a place for everything and...'
'"For my favorite indoor sport this is the time and this is the place,' he answered, cutting me short. Once more he embraced and kissed me. His hands went all over my body and he started to unbutton my dress. He was actually trying to screw me there in the office!
"I pulled away. 'No,' I told him in a firm voice.
"'Aw, come on now, honey,' he urged. 'Let's be friends. You'll be surprised how much I can help you in this company.'
"I drew in my breath sharply. 'You mean ... if I have sex with you I'll get a promotion?'
"He shrugged. 'Rose, things like that happen all the time.'
"Well, now I knew that Hank didn't have anything against me, personally, outside my color. I wanted to believe that he made all the girls he promoted screw him for their jobs, but, somehow, I couldn't accept that. He was making me screw for a good job because I had a handicap that the other girls didn't have ... a very dark skin.
"Hank ran his sun burnt hands up and down along one of my black arms. 'You feel nice, Rose,' he told me. 'You really turn me on.'
"He placed one of his hands against my crotch and I couldn't help but feel aroused. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to cooperate. I felt like a hooker who had to spread her legs for her daily bread.
'"Suppose I went to the higher ups and complained about you, Hank?' I asked feeling that, all considered, I had the right to use his first name.
"'I'd deny everything,' he answered. 'It would be my word against yours. But, if I put in the right word for you I wouldn't be surprised if you get a cushy job ... like being on the switchboard.'
"The switchboard operator the firm had now was married and five months into her pregnancy. She was planning to quit a few weeks later for good and the company needed another girl.
"The job was not only well paying but had some prestige connected with it since it was the only one like it in the company. The girl who answered the phone was considered to be the 'voice' of the electronics firm.
"Because I knew that I sounded black I doubted that I would get the job. When I told Hank my fears he assured me that he would do everything in his power to see that the firm had a black switchboard operator.
"He said this as he undid my dress. He was a smooth, fast worker. Somehow he reminded me of Cole, that black cat who had one off with my cherry.
"When the white man took off my dress I stood before him in stockings, shoes, panties and bra. My panties and bra were white which made my skin seem even darker. This obviously aroused Hank because he opened up his fly and brought out his penis which was beginning to engorge.
"I watched his male meat stiffen and rise until it stretched up and out a good seven inches. Cole had carried the same size of dick.
"'See how much you turn me on, Rose?' he said. 'My pecker hasn't jumped up like that since I was a kid.'
"He reached out and took off my bra. Then he knelt to remove my stockings and shoes. When he pulled my panties down he kissed my hairy tool box and patted my fanny. 'You sure are a lot of female!' he exclaimed when he stood up. His face was red and upright meat was throbbing with need.
"Hank removed the rest of his clothes. The hair on his chest was light brown with streaks of gray here and there. He had a slight roll of fat around his waist, but, otherwise, he was a fine figure of a man. Although I was going to get laid in order to get ahead I still would've screwed the white man for nothing.
"The fellow embraced me and I felt his erect manhood move against my cleft. I slipped my hands over his rugged body and, in a standing position, he began to inch his meaty tube into my body.
"He grabbed my buttocks for support and rammed the entire length of his dick inside my flesh. I gasped with pain and delight. 'Oh! Oh, Hank!'
"He moved me against his desk so that my can was propped against its edge. He rammed into me again and again, making me bend over so that my slit was forced against his throbbing manhood. I glanced towards the door.
"Suppose someone walked in right now? Hank reminded me so much of my first lover I had the idea that the same situation would repeat itself.
"The door didn't open and the rugged, sun burnt white man kept screwing me until he came. He stopped moving and allowed the juice to pass from his body to mine. We embraced hard and held one another tightly.
"His seven inches became five and then four slowly inside my body. When Hank finally withdrew our skins were damp with sweat. The whole affair reminded me so much of my first that I kissed the white fellow on the lips.
'"You like it as much as I do, right?' Hank asked.
'"I also like to be promoted,' I told him, reminding him of why I was there in the first place.
"He took one of my hands and placed it on his lust damp penis. 'Let me see just how good you are, Rose,' he told me with a thick undertone.
"Hank wanted more sex than just a simple banging. I had been in enough beds to know what men craved for. I took his limp organ in my hand and pulled on it. 'If you're making me do all this for nothing I'll never forgive you,' I whispered.
'"Do it,' he breathed excitedly.
"I slipped to my knees and gazed at his hanging sexual parts. I was used to fellating black boys and the close-up look at his pale penis and testicles shook me. I placed my hands on his sturdy hips and lapped his meat with my tongue. Hank groaned. 'That's it, honey,' he told me. 'Work up to it slowly.'
"I licked his tube of flesh and felt it beginning to react. Then I lifted it in my hand and nibbled lightly on the thick head of his sex organ.
"This delighted the white man. 'Oh, Rose!' he sighed. 'You know how to French a guy!'
"I opened my mouth and took in his male part. Once more I held on to his hips as I sucked. His manhood stiffened and I kept fellating him until his organ became so big and thick I couldn't take more than half its length. Then Hank had a climax.
"When his sperm leapt into me I realized how much alike white and black men were. They not only had the same tastes in sex, they also tasted the same. I mouthed Hank, draining him of his vital fluids, until he had no more left to give. I didn't break contact until he was through and his organ grew limp.
"I stood up and faced him. My nipples were aroused to rigid points and my face burned with lust. Hank's face was scarlet and his eyes were dewy. 'Rose ... Rose ... Rose,' he repeated over and over again with quiet passion.
"I went back to my room in the black district wondering if I had been made a fool of. While Hank was nice and sexy it still didn't make the fact that I had to screw him and mouth him for my promotion any easier.
"And, if I had gone through all that for nothing I would really be peeved to say the least. I couldn't possibly work on in the electronics firm if I was going to stay in the stock room ... not after what happened. There was still my pride to think of.
"I hated the idea of going back to work the next day because I would have to face Hank. I managed to avoid him on the job and hurried on home. The next day he slipped up behind me and patted my fanny. 'Come to my office,' he whispered.
"I thought he was going to make me go through the sex routine again with the promise that the promotion would come in time. He could keep that up for weeks, leading me on and getting mc to do his bidding. I made up my mind not to have sex with him again. I had paid my dues.
"Once inside the office, Hank handed me an envelope. It was a transfer from the stock room to ... the switchboard! I was going to be broken in by the one who was leaving. 'Hank,' I all but cried, 'you really came through!'
"He grinned and shrugged at the same time. 'As I told you, honey,' he said, 'you'd be surprised how much I can help you in this company. When someone does something nice for me I always do something nice in return. Now, come back after work and I'll talk about your promotion.'
"Hank wanted another sexual session as a reward for getting me on the switchboard. Although I had promised myself I wouldn't have anything further to do with him I knew that I was going to give him all the sex he wanted later that day.
"After all, I had made that promise to myself before the promotion came through.
"Work was over soon enough, and I went back to the office. As soon as I closed the door behind me, Hank started to take off his clothes. 'I I In Might you wanted to talk to me,' I teased.
'"Later, honey,' he said impatiently. 'First things first.'
"When he pulled off his shorts his large sex organ all but leaped up at me in virile desire. I didn't want to make the poor man suffer so I stripped down to the buff. The second I was naked, Hank rammed his fleshy rod into my opening and pumped.
"He didn't push me against the desk this time, but, rather, held me firm about the rear for support and thrust with all the passion he had at his command.
"I held on to his rear end the same way and our open mouths met. We French kissed, knowing that the Frenching would get even more serious later on. I was willing to go all out for the white man who actually had gone through with a promise.
"When he spewed his male liquid we stood there facing one another without making a move except for our tongues that played tag in our mouths. Then Hank broke the kiss and whispered in my ear, 'Do it.'
"I went down on my knees and mouthed his still partially erected sex organ. It engorged once again and Hank had another climax. I fellated him to completion and stood up.
'"Thank you, Rose,' he said.
"'And thank you for the job,' I answered.
"Well, that's how the electronics firm got a black voice on the switchboard. In the company Hank now has the reputation as being something of a 'liberal' for convincing the big boss that it would be a nice gesture to hire a Negro for the switchboard since there were so few blacks in anything like an important job. My job isn't really important, but it is for a black girl.
"I'm surprised that no one knows just how I got the job in the first place. Everyone thinks that I got it out of 'tokenism' where a few blacks are put in showcase positions to satisfy militants and Civil Rights groups.
"Maybe that had something to do with it but I know that I had to have my hand in getting the job ... and my ass, and my pussy and my tits.
"I still see Hank now and then even though we are in different parts of the building. Yes, I still have sex with him. It isn't out of gratitude or hopes that I'll get an even better job, but just because I dig him.
"I've been in his apartment just once but never again. After we had finished our inter-racial orgy I had to walk down the all white street with people staring at me through windows. I felt like a freak on display.
"Still, I can't get mad at those white folks because Hank would have an even rougher time in my neighborhood. I, at least, got out with my skin in one piece. If Hank was seen walking out of a black girls's room, he would not make it to the corner without a bunch of studs jumping him for 'insulting' one of their women.
"There's so damned much hate going around these days. That's why I'm talking into your tape recorder here in your car instead of my place or yours. It is in cars, by the way, that I do most of my screwing with Hank.
"We meet at a pre-arranged corner or bar and off we go to love land. Don't get the idea that I'm screwing him to get ahead in the company again; I'm doing it just because I want to and for no other reason."
Diagnostic reaction:
Rose kept making a point of the fact that she is having sexual relations with a white man for love alone because she feels guilty about having had one such erotic meeting for commerce.
In order to assure herself that she is in no way a prostitute the black girl feels driven to continue her relations with Hank to prove to herself that love had been behind that first affair in his office.
While she is drawn to the white man physically, Rose still feels a certain cheapness in her relationship with him. She still thinks of herself as a slave girl who is being used by a white master even though that master is kind.
Charles Woodson, in his study, THE NEGRO IN OUR HISTORY, claims that there is a streak of racial hatred in the most seemingly affectionate inter-racial affair. All through history, white masters have been taking black slave girls for mistresses, little thinking about what these females felt.
To the men they were objects to be used; pets to be played with. Today white men who have black mistresses look upon their girls with pretty much the same attitude.
Rose senses this in Hank and hates him for it, but she still had a need to continue their relationship to prove that it is strictly a romantic affair.
In time Rose will realize that nothing will wash away the fact that she had once had sex with a man in order to get a job she wanted. Once she faces this issue squarely she will drop Hank and will be relieved of this burden of guilt.
In her community she committed the sin of having sex relations with a white for commercial gain. While her community is unaware of it she is and thus the guilt. Even to an open, warm hearted person like Rose, an inter-racial office romance is a difficult road to follow.