Chapter 4
Bill S. is forty-nine years old. He lives alone in a small bachelor apartment in San Francisco. At one time, he was a happily married man with a beautiful wife and a lovely daughter. But all that has changed, now, and it is the events which led up to this change that we shall concern ourselves with here.
Tall, lanky and with a very open personality, Bill was candid about his life. He seemed at once to desire strict condemnation of his activities while at the same time to relive them again. This duality was a central psychological problem at the time of this interview and since that time, he has supposedly resolved much of his anguish.
Using a tape recorder, I spent twelve hours in Bill's apartment taping our conversation. At no time did I have to prompt him, it was obvious from the outset that he had thought his situation through without the outside promotion of an interviewer. So, basically there was not much for me to do but to sit and listen while this man revealed the most intimate details of his remarkable 'change.'
June and I had been happily married for seventeen years. I was a successful businessman and we had all the comforts of the good life-two cars, a nice suburban home, and a great daughter. We had everything anyone could expect from life. But as our seventeenth wedding anniversary approached, June and I both realized that we were bored.
My wife was a beautiful woman. She was tall, blonde and stacked. I remember the pride I used to feel whenever we went someplace and she wore a revealing dress. Her tits were about the finest I had ever seen--strong, uplifting topped with perfect nipples that always seemed to grow so hard and pointed whenever I touched them. And her legs! They were long and lean, but her thighs at the same time were right and full. And the way the skin just kind of let go so that her tuft of blonde cunt hair could flourish out ... she was incredibly perfect.
But we had been with each other now for seventeen years, neither of us had ever had an affair, we were always satisfied with each other. She always used to say that I had the best cock in the world, and whenever she had the chance, she would fondle me, make me hard, and either blow me or jack me off. She was always kind of a devil that way, but I really dug every minute of it.
With all of that, though, we got bored. I mean, our daughter, Ellen, was starting to go out with boys and we were left alone on Saturday nights watching television. Even the sexual excitement between us began to fade. That was when I decided to try and do something about our situation, you know, instigate some kind of feeling between us again.
One Saturday night, while June was watching TV I brought in our film projector. I wound the reels, and she thought we were going to watch home movies. She turned off the television, still bored with the idea of watching again our trip to New York, and sat down.
When that movie started, I thought she would faint! Right there on the screen was a big, tall guy undressing a small girl. The girl was small but really she must have been over twenty, she only looked small because of her tiny breasts and the small tuft of pubic hair. When the chick was finally undressed, she moved to the guy, took out his dick, and began blowing him. June was watching intently, and I realized that at that moment the fires of our life were going to be rekindled.
"This is wild, Bill, where did you get them?"
"Doesn't matter, June, just relax and enjoy it."
But it was getting her horny and I was getting even worse. My balls were aching and my cock was stuck somewhere up inside my pants, just aching to leap out and dive into June's sweet and soft pussy.
I moved across the room and took my seat next to my wife. Immediately, she placed her hand on my groin and began moving my prick around. She was acting strangely, almost nonchalant, and that turned me on even more. Then she pulled down my zipper, reached into my pants and pulled out the hard rod. She just sat there, watching the movie and rubbing my prick.
Then I took her sweater and pulled it up over her head. Ever since the movement, she had taken to wearing nothing under her clothes, and with the kind of body she had, it always made her look twice as sexy.
When she was naked from the waist up, I began playing with her tits. They were hard as ever, those fine nipples of hers arching towards the ceiling and kind of pulsating every time I touched them!
On the screen, the guy and girl were doing a '69' job, and doing it very well. The chick was really fine looking, and it seemed kicky at the time to be looking at such a young, innocent body like that. It was a good film and it certainly was getting June and myself where we wanted to go.
After the film had ended, and the guy had come all over the chick's face, June and I were both naked. I had her on the couch with her legs spread. Kneeling on the floor between them, I was eating her out. She held onto my head, pushing me into her and crying for more. But I felt kind of wild that night and wanted to drive her crazy before I plugged her with my cock.
"Please ... Bill, put it inside! Hurry, Bill, prick me ... fuck me!! ! " She was better than she had been in months. We were really getting it on, and I wanted to prolong the moment for as long as I could.
Finally, I took my tongue away from her warm, throbbing cunt and spread her out on the couch. She was writhing, rubbing her thighs together and licking her lips with anticipation. I hovered over her for a few seconds, just kind of watching. this beautiful body beneath me-so much in heat and so much in demand of my prick. Then, with a sudden plunge, I dove into the depths of her.
June screamed as I pushed my prick deep inside her. She was warm and moist, and I could feel the walls of her vagina clutch at the bulk of my prick. I began working her on, riding her high and getting her clit. This was the way we had always made love until I had bought her that vibrator. After that, she would tell me that she could get better orgasms from that blasted fucking thing than from me! But tonight, after all of that, I was riding high again and there was no doubt in either of our minds that good, strong sex was still the best and only way to go!
"I'm coming ... ooooh ... easy, don't stop, easy ... aaahh!! ! "
I could feel the vibrations ripple through her cunt. They were like gentle fingers stroking my prick, like those girls who really know how to jack you off when they kind of touch real light and feathery, making the same feeling as those when you're inside and she comes.
I rode her orgasm, then shot my load. I hadn't even noticed that she had stuck her finger up my ass until I came. Then, at the moment of my strongest shot, she yanked her finger out. It was that good ol' time religion all over again. June and I had found ourselves kind of being reborn, and the next few weeks would find us experimenting with all kinds of gadgets, cameras and accessories until we decided to do the real experiment-the one that involved other people.
Our first venture into this new kind of sex thing was through an ad we found in the underground newspapers. The couple said they were young, well-endowed and wanted the friendship and companionship of a middle-aged couple at their mountain home. I called the guy, his name was Kurt, and we made arrangements to meet that weekend at his place.
June and I were kind of nervous as we drove up the tricky road to his place. It was a huge, log cabin-type place but with every modern convenience. There was an indoor-outdoor swimming pool and a patio with a view of half the nation. The kid must have been born rich because he didn't look a day over thirty. His wife, who, if things went according to plan I would be fucking, was a real little beauty.
We sat around the living room for an hour and talked. June had worn a see-through blouse and hip-hugger pants. Her body, especially her breasts, was completely ascertainable to anyone who wanted a good look. She looked sexy as hell.
But Kurt's wife, whose name was Mary, also looked pretty good. She was wearing one of those knit bikinis, and I could see the faint pinkness of her nipple and the shaded area of her cunt beneath. Her body was kind of small and delicate, but she certainly had all the right parts in all the right places.
"The meaning of what we do here," explained Kurt, never taking his eyes away from June's tits, "is to exchange roles. I mean, you people are mid-aged and were born the generation before us. We are young, and basically shouldn't even be communicating with you. So, to break down those rules and open the lines of communication, Mary and I kind of like to get into these kinds of things."
We all thought that was a pretty good idea, but for some reason, no one knew how to go about getting the thing started. Finally, Kurt suggested we take some photographs.
He brought out a small polaroid camera and began shooting pictures of June, who was sitting alone on the couch. June was posing very demurely, and looked completely sexy. I think Mary got a little jealous, so she took off her bikini top and walked in front of June to pose.
I asked Kurt for the camera so that I could snap some of all three of them. Kurt walked between Mary and June, pulled his wife down next to him on the couch, and rested his hand naturally on my wife's tit.
"How's this?" he asked with a huge grin.
"Just fine ... " June replied by resting her hand on his lap and showing a look of genuine astonishment at what lay buried underneath. Meanwhile, Mary had stripped her panties off and was stark naked, and quite sexy in her own delicate way. I snapped the picture, waited the minute and showed everyone. We laughed.
Then I took another picture. This time, June had her hand on Kurt's prick. He was hard and huge, and she seemed to dig him. Then both girls put their hands on his cock, like a baseball bat and smiled into the camera. I snapped again and again until we finally ran out of film.
The last picture showed June with Kurt's dick snugly in her mouth. She was looking sideways into the camera, and there was a strange look there that I had never seen before. It was the kind of expression that dared anyone to make something out of what she was doing ... kind of like a little girl who steals cookies then sits down in front of her mother and eats them to show her she's not afraid of authority. That was the strange, vague feeling I had when I gazed at the snapshot. Meanwhile, Kurt Mary and June had stripped naked and were each doing funny dives into the swimming pool.
The water was warm and pleasant, almost more like a bath than a swimming pool. Kurt and June were entangled in each other's arms when I felt something crawling up my legs.
Mary was under the water, pulling herself up towards my prick. When she finally reached it, she took it into her mouth and began sucking on me. Her tongue played like crazy into the hole, and she really knew her business.
I pulled her up to me and wrapped my arms around her. She threw up both her legs and hoisted herself up so that her wide-open cunt would be just at the place where my cock stood. Then, as we kissed each other, probing out mouths with our tongues, she dropped herself onto my prick.
It was a strange feeling because she was not yet really turned on, and she felt kind of slithery and scaly inside because of the water in the pool. It wasn't unpleasant, but then again, it wasn't like the warm, juicy cunt of my wife. I wondered if June's cunt was still warm and juicy, or if it felt like Mary's.
We played around in the pool for another couple of hours and then June and I left. On the way home, we talked about the event, and we both agreed that the next time we went there would have to be more people. Neither of us wanted, at that time, to fall in love or get involved with anyone else and we both agreed that with more people around it would be easier to keep this from happening.
It didn't take long for Kurt and Mary to answer our plea. The next week they called and invited us to their annual 'ball'. I asked him how many people would be attending, and he told me there would be between one and two hundred people. This sounded good enough for us, so we made plans to attend. The one stipulation, though, was that we come in costume. That made it even better than ever for both of us and our fears were all but eliminated.
The night of the party arrived, and I went as a Roman, wearing a sheet around me with nothing on underneath. June dressed as a belly dancer, but underneath those long, sheer veils she was naked. You could see just enough to really stimulate the imagination and tell that she was naked.
When we arrived on the mountaintop again, there were cars parked all over the place. Inside, music was blaring and people were laughing. It was going to be some party.
Kurt and Mary both greeted us at the front door. He wore a mask with a Lone Ranger hat and a gun hanging loosely over his prick. When he walked, you could see his dong swinging from side to side beneath that gun. Mary was wearing underwear. It was not the normal kind though, but the kind with holes in all the wrong, or actually right, places. Her nipples were exposed from the bra and her cunt was plainly visible in the hole in her crotch. It was exciting looking at her because of the emphasis on her parts, she looked even more inviting than the first time I had seen her.
Inside the house, there were at least a hundred people milling around in various stages of undress. Everyone had a mask on, and I suppose the only way you could have recognized anyone at all was if you had some kind of sex with them at some former time. There were more cocks, breasts, balls, cunts, asses and bellies than I had ever seen in one place at the same time.
As I wandered throughout the crowd, without June because she had been dragged off into the 'pit,' or the place where mattresses had been put down for those wishing to get something on, I was patted and molested by everyone. One girl, no more than seventeen, came up to me wearing nothing at all but a Victorian broach around her neck. It was really a very funny costume because she had her hair done as though she were some English schoolmaster's wife. But beneath her neck, there was not one stitch of clothing. She was completely naked and quite sexy.
"What's underneath the toga?" she asked, demurely placing her hand on her pink nipple and smiling.
"I'd be glad to show you."
"It probably is the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, right?" She laughed at her own joke, then peeled apart the folds of my sheet. She examined my cock, then held it in her hands and watched as it grew into one of the largest hard-ons I had ever had.
"This is definitely the rise!" Then she threw her arms around me, looking into my eyes with her green eyes and asked me if I wanted to dance. We started moving around the floor, holding each other close and grinding our pelvises against one another.
The tip of my cock rode against her belly. She was warm and light, almost like a drifting perfume that once one catches its scent one is totally captivated.
As I danced with her, holding her delicate naked body in my arm, she reached down between us and held my prick. Then, she slid it up between her legs, throwing one of them around behind my back. I was kind of shook, and looked around to see if anyone else was watching, but they were all too busy doing their own bit of waltzing to pay any attention to us.
"You feel very nice ... very nice ... " She was quiet, matter-of-fact and surely highly experienced. There was something about the way in which she performed that indicated that she had, indeed, been around.
And there we stood, in the center of one hundred people, fucking away. It was a slow, almost painful fuck because we had to keep our balance. Our movements were just minute, but that seemed to make them even the more powerful. I was pretty far up inside her, and she had this way of making her vagina get smaller then larger, as though she were beating off on my prick. Finally, her pretty green eyes clouded over and she began to swoon. I held her up as she came and I spurted into her sweet, almost unreal cunt.
When her cunt had finally stopped pulsating and vibrating, she came back to Earth and smiled.
"That was very good, you're a highly trained fucker!"
I told her that I had a beautiful wife who liked to screw and she told me that that was wonderful. Then, as though I helped her pick up a dropped grocery bag, she thanked me and said 'goodbye.' As her naked little ass shimmied away into the mass of people, I realized how easy I could get hung up on her if I saw her again. But I also realized how impossible the whole thing would be ... she was a professional 'banger,' a chick who made a scientific, professional study of sex but never got involved with those she made it with. I shrugged my shoulders, straightened my toga, and walked back into the party to wait for the midnight hour when everyone took off their masks, and what little remained of their clothing.
By the time twelve rolled around,-everybody was pretty well smashed. Chicks were jacking off guys in the middle of the room, blowing them and having themselves eaten out by anyone who happened to pass by. It was a full-fledged orgy, and I was glad I was there. I hadn't seen June since our arrival, however, and that worried me ... but not enough to take anything away from the good time I was having.
At fifteen minutes to midnight, Kurt stood up on the piano and told everyone to take a partner for the unveiling. Standing next to me was this very pretty little chick who could have not been more than eighteen. Her hair was blonde like June's, but her body instead of being voluptuous was thin and very sexy. She was wearing a full-face mask, but on her body she had only patches of a clear, plastic wrap which had obviously been torn away by some pretty hungry cats.
"Be my partner?" she asked with a voice that was barely audible above the noise and confusion.
"I would be delighted!" I replied, taking her neat little body into my arms. She pressed tightly up against me as we began dancing. Her breasts were fuller than they first appeared, and the softness between her thighs indicated the presence of a woman and not a little girl. She was grinding hard, and I was soon erect with another huge erection.
"You're very big, aren't you?" Her voice sounded timid, as though she was afraid that later on I would split her apart.
"Oh no, honey, just a regular guy..." I was trying to be modest, but my cock had made its way out between the folds of my toga. The tip was rubbing against her warm belly and she responded to this by pushing , even harder against me.
There was something very strange and exciting about this girl, and I wondered if I could bear to wait until twelve to take her. Her body was warm, and what was the best thing about her was the fact that seemed to really want to fuck. I mean, desire was flowing out of her every pore, spilling from her eyes and reflected in her touch. I was throbbing and aching, wanting so desperately to dump my stinging rod deep into her smooth, young cunt.
"All right everybody, take off everything!! ! "
The room exploded as people tore at their clothes, tore at their masks and tore at each other. Bodies began spilling to the floor, and I caught a glimpse of June going down beneath some big, fat man with a soft pecker. That made me feel good ... at least she wasn't getting anything better than I could give her from some super-stud.
Then I turned to my little cunt and undid the mask from behind. I dropped the black material across her breasts, following it down with my mouth, kissing her nipples and then kissing her crack. When I stood up, she had taken my mask off and we both faced each other.
There are times when one feels as though the entire world is falling from beneath ones' feet. This was the most intense experience of this phenomenon I had ever had. Standing there in the nude, her blue eyes downcast trying to avoid my throbbing cock, was Eileen, my daughter.
"Daddy..." she whispered, suddenly trying to cover her pubic hair.
"What are you doing here?" It was a stupid reaction to start yelling at her as though she had just returned with her clothing ripped from a 'heavy' date. She turned up towards me, looked me in the eye with that same kind of look that her mother had had during the photo session and grinned.
"What am I doing here? You might ask yourself the same damned question!! ! " Her voice was a little loud, and I put my hand over her mouth to make her be quiet.
I realized that she had an excellent point, though, and there was no denying that both of us had been caught with 'our pants down'.
"Well," I asked, trying to joke but still feeling turned on by her nakedness and also by the new development, "what'll we do now?'-'
Eileen looked around, the people were fucking, sucking and blowing everything and everyone in sight. One older woman was even beating herself off on a lamp, sliding her wickedly wet cunt up and down the base. Finally, my daughter turned back towards me, smiled that funny smile again, and reached down to hold my prick.
"Like I said before, daddy, you are big ... "
Her head was bobbing up and down at my groin before I could do anything else. Her thin, warm mouth was around my flesh, sucking and pulling on the skin and really trying to pull me off. The little girl was certainly a wild one.
I pulled her up from my cock and we kissed. It was a warm, smooth kiss, with our tongues exploring deliciously each other's mouth. She was quite a doll, and really reminded me of her mother when her mother was younger.
We found an open space in the corner of the room. Eileen lay down on her back and spread her legs. The tuft of golden hair between them opened and I could see her finely tuned, pink lips throbbing and waiting to spread for my entrance. She was practically new, and didn't have the sag that June did on her cunt. I was more excited than I had ever been before, and more aware of every little touch and sensation that shot through my body.
"Daddy," she moaned, now pulling her moist lips apart so I could see even better, "come fuck your little girl ... "
I hovered over her for a second, watching her close her eyes and bite the tip of her tongue which kind of darted out between her lips. She was waiting, waiting in the edge to be invaded from the most heinous of all sources-her own father.
Yet, with everything that had happened, and with the way the party was, I was glad it was me who was fucking Eileen. It would have been awful I guess, to watch someone else dive into that sweet little cunt of hers. A strange thought upon entering your own daughter, but now that I think about it, it seems kind of honest.
When I finally slid my cock into her vagina, Eileen turned into a total fucking machine. She clawed at my back as we began riding the roller coaster together, thrashing and pulling at one another, trying to melt our bodies together in one massive pattern of energy. My balls were slapping loudly against her ass, and she had her legs wrapped high on my back. We threw against each other with more force than I had ever experienced in my entire life-like this was the fuck we had both been waiting for all of our lives and after it was over there would be nothing.
Eileen and I came together in better harmony than I had ever come with any other woman, including June. It was every click, every spasm, every pulsation that worked together to build and build. Each new feeling of our orgasm added onto another until we were riding a crescendo of utter ecstasy. It wasn't until the cries and moans coming from both of us died down that we realized that there was a huge crowd watching us, chanting with us and experiencing our orgasm with us.
"The best fuck of the night!"
"Incredible ... fantastic ... excellent!"
"They were made for each other!! ! "
The crowd, naked and sweaty, encircled us as we lay in each others' arms on the floor. I never wanted to annihilate anyone before then. If there could have been some way of making them all disappear, leaving just my little girl and myself, I would have given anything . ...
Then I saw June. She was standing next to the same fat man who had thrown her to the floor earlier. The expression on her face was incredible. It was one of complete and absolute understanding and comprehension. She understood at that moment something which I did not. She knew that her daughter had succeeded in pleasing her man better than she herself had ever been capable of doing. It was the end, at that moment, of June's sexual confidence-at least when she was with me.
I left my family after that night. I knew that Eileen and I could never have what we had had that night. And, even if it were possible to achieve again, I wasn't sure if I could do it. The moral stigma of what I had done began engulfing me in a dream of social ostracism and condemnation. I began to see myself as a complete and absolute pervert.
The two years I spent before seeing the psychiatrist were years of hell. But once I began talking with the Doctor, I began to understand what had happened. I had actually reverted back to my youth on that night, and my little girl had actually replaced June as the love object during that time.
I have told my wife of this, and she is beginning to understand, and even to realize just how much she meant to me. I think because of that, things will work out.
SUMMARY
Bill S., in fact, was the victim of a number of rather uncommon circumstances. Within the framework of these, his innermost drives and desires were released, creating because of the coincidence, the situation into which he fell.
Society has long been the victim of much sexual repression. Because of this state of affairs, whenever efforts are made to break from within the bonds of this repression, many people tend to lose their bearings. In June and Bill's case we see a prime example of this phenomenon.
The point which should be considered in this case is whether the actual happening of the sexual intimacy between Bill and his daughter was better, or worse, for both of them. In other words, if the entire thing had never happened, would Bill have worn his desire for his daughter underneath his own personality, creating a bad situation for everyone?
Many men, upon reaching middle-age, leave their wives and seek the companionship of girls half their age. A number of theories attempt to explain this behavior in that the man is actually seeking the love of his daughter and that her love will make his own self-image one of youth. Thus, in Bill's case, it is interesting that even though those drives were there, he had in reality accomplished what so many men only subconsciously dream of.
Whether or not the reality of what happened will actually benefit anyone only remains to be seen. One point, however, which could have harmed Bill in a very bad way, was the circumstances under which this fate befell him.
In sexual matters, degrees in age sometimes mean very little. At the party, and at other functions of that kind, Bill and June found themselves relating, having sexual intercourse with, and enjoying the company of people half their age. The strange and highly unlikely appearance of their own daughter at this function cannot condemn the function, or Bill and June's participation in the function.
It is with this perspective that self-blame and self-hatred will cease to exist within Bill and be replaced by understanding and insight into his, and humanities' nature.