Chapter 2
Fixations, Causes and Contributing Determinants-Mental and Physical
Mrs. X. is a seriously disturbed though fascinatingly beautiful and voluptuous blonde swinger. She suffers from severe guilt feelings and a sadomasochistic element in her desire for "deep," three-way penetration, which is common to a great many sexually active three-way females today. I will repeat here a few psychologically revealing excerpts from the very long statement that she gave me:
"I know it's terrible, doctor, but I can't help it! I'm not a normal woman! Sex has to be all or nothing. I'd rather drink myself to sleep or take a pill ... unless I have it all three ways. Hurting me, yes! It's not the kind of hurt you fear like an automobile accident or an amputation. Oh, no! I want those cocks in me banging away ... in my cunt and asshole until I can hardly stand it! I tell them to ignore my screaming and ram them in harder-two hard cocks meeting up in my belly and ramming me ... Sucking is what keeps me going. I think I would refuse sex with just one or two men. It's that I've got to have a hard cock in my mouth too ... sucking it until the come spurts and flows and I feel the throbbing joys of those wonderful sensations deep in my mouth ... deep in my cunt ... deep inside my ass. It's something I could never make a man understand. It's like having a baby! Only a woman can know what I truly mean.
Mrs. X. refers to the penises in her vagina and rectum as "banging" and "ramming" her. She invites the painful aspect of forceful rear entry, degrades herself by being used and abused by a trio of men in, what to her (consciously or subconsciously) is a humiliating and demeaning manner. She is insatiable, almost nymphomaniac, demanding more and more each time. And, subsequently, demanding more than any three average men are capable of giving her.
And it is here that the other end of the spectrum hoves into view. She demands and thus demeans the virility of her male partners. She requires from them a super potency. Therefore she is sadistic. She knows that many of the men she meets are incapable of penetrating her tight anus for any great length of time without ejaculating. She is so sexually stimulating that she forces her lovers to climax long before she is satisfied, and thus berates them, verbally and in her own mind, as not being "real men."
In the particular case of Mrs. X., there is an early history of a very sexually frustrating childhood and adolescence. Her father, a very strict minister, forbade almost any kind of unchaperoned dating or normal interest in and curiosity about sex. Sex was "dirty,"
"sinful,"
"evil." Yet the more forbidden it was, the more attractive and challenging it became. ("Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest" and "The attractiveness of evil" are two old adages in concert with the psychological roots here.)
After she was married and engaged with her husband and swinging groups in excessive and extreme forms and quantities of group sex activity, Mrs. X. was quite happy to start with. She was the "life of the party" and certainly the most sexually provocative. There was nothing too extreme for her. She was willing to experiment and easily persuaded to try all variations, including many that were perverted in nature and quantity. Lesbian activities in swinging may even be partly responsible for her present insistence on the male penis in such volume, both as "punishment" and to prove that she is, after all, very heterosexual.
In the midst of this sexual euphoria, tragedy struck. One of Mrs. X's favorite swinging partners was killed by a jealous wife, a woman who had suddenly "flipped" and shot her husband during a wife-swap party. The ensuing scandal involved many people, including Mrs. X. and her husband. The guilt feelings which had been held back for so long, erupted violently. At the same time, her emotional state received a second jolt when her husband fell fn love with another woman and left her.
Mrs. X. panicked. Still popular with some of the swingers, particularly the males, she tried to indulge herself to the utmost and almost drown in a sea of debauchery. She performed more aggressive Lesbian acts on other men's wives. She would often telephone five or six men and beg them to come over and "use" her sexually in very humiliating and degrading ways.
The effect of all this resulted in the manifestational evolvement of Mrs. X. into a three-way-female. She found that the penetration of her three most erogmoos orifices could Produce the greatest sensations of pleasure-pain when the men were rough and forceful. This also provided her with a way to look upon the men as essentially "weak." (An outlet she could utilize in "punishing" the hated father image, the symbol of the man who had brought on, through repression, the implanting of the cause of the torrent of guilt feelings that tortured her mentally to such an incapacitating degree.)
The case of Mrs. X. is admittedly an extreme one, however, it serves to demonstrate some of the multiple psychological and psycho-physical factors that are so often involved in the make-up of the three-way-female. Of course, there are other less violent and more natural instances, including the situation in which three men at a swinging party might initiate the idea. One of the females who has found herself to be responsive at all three areas might volunteer to join in, accepting the three penises with only the thought of novelty, intrigue and/or sexual pleasure in mind, possibly combined with elements of exhibitionism and voyeurism.
Psychologically speaking, the desire for the anal element of intercourse by the three-way-female often coincides with a different type of guilt-feeling and certain other factors. Of the anal type in general, Caprio states in his Variations in Sexual Behavior (Grove, New York 1955), that: "they are classified as belonging to the obsessive-compulsive group of neurotics. The explanation lies in the fact that they harbor conflicts between right and wrong resulting in strong unconscious feelings of guilt. The preoccupation with 'cleanliness' represents an attempt to overcompensate at the conscious level for unconscious desires and thoughts that would be regarded as 'dirty' or 'unclean.'"
"Unlike the hippies and sex-freedom crusaders of the new left, most swingers and wife-swappers whom I have contacted are meticulously clean individuals with a strong awareness of hygiene. And this is certainly true of the three-way-female who is analerotic to some degree. As one such woman expressed it to me during a consultation:
"I just can't stand some of these younger people at the parties ... kids! Oh, they look sexy and desirable all right. Little nymphets and young men who can stay hard for hours it seems. But I know one girl, for example, who has relations with one person right after the other, regardless of sex, and never even wipes off her pussy with a wet rag! Some of the wayouts like to eat her after she's filled with goo from a dozen lovers. They think it's sexy. Me, I always take a complete bath and a good douche between each session...."
It is interesting to read that Freud had some ideas on the matter of three-way response which are still valid today. Writing in his previously noted Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality in about 1920, the "father of psychoanalysis" stated: " ... we must regard each individual as possessing an oral eroticism, an anal eroticism, a urethral eroticism, etc., and that the existence of mental complexes corresponding to these implies no judgment of abnormality or neurosis. The differences separating the normal from the abnormal can lie only in-the relative strength of the individual components of the sexual instinct and the use to which they are put in the course of development"
Most people are aware, I think, of the physical sensitivity and potential for erotic stimuli in the nerve endings contained about the anus, as well as in the membranes of the mouth and lips, the papillae of the tongue. During infancy and early childhood, both of these areas are associated with a long remembered sense of pleasure-eating, sucking, kissing, the relieved sensation of dispensing waste matter by defecation and urination.
Another physical fact quite pertinent to this study was presented in the Kinsey report on the female:
"The erotic sensitivity of the anal area depends in part upon the fact that there are abundant end organs of touch throughout the anal surfaces, and in part upon the fact that reactions of the muscles which normally keep the anus closed may be erotically stimulating....
"The anus is particularly significunt in sexual response because the anal and genital areas share some muscles in common, and the activity of either area may bring the other area into action. Stimulation of the genitalia, both in the female and the male, may cause anal constrictions. Gynecologists frequently observe that the stimulation of the clitoris or the area about the clitoris and the urethral meatus, may cause contractions of the anus ... the hymenal ring, and the vaginal and perineal [referring to the area between the genitalia and anus] muscles. As rhythmic muscular movement develops during sexual responses, and particularly the spasms that follow orgasm, the anal sphincter may rhythmically open and close. The incentives for anal intercourse lie partly in the significance of these rhythmic responses of the anal sphincters.
"Conversely, contractions of the anal sphincter, whether they be voluntary or initiated by erotic stimulation, may bring contractions of the muscles that extend into the genitalia and produce ... movements of the genital parts in the female. As a matter-of-fact, contractions of the anal sphincter appear to produce contractions of various muscles in remote parts of the body, including areas as far away as the throat and nose. Anal contractions may cause the sides of the nose to flare, and the subject is inclined to inhale deeply-both of which are characteristic aspects of an individual who is responding sexually."
Here then is documentation of the physical aspects of response and interrelated stimuli of the erotic arousal of all three areas of the female body. This interaction of the muscles and their subsequent "chain-action" arousal among the mouth portions, anus and genitalia would seem to indicate that simultaneous three-way penetration in the sexually active and uninhibited female might produce something ultimate in the way of physical sensations on the road to climax or multiple climaxes.
The physical rhythm is already set up in all three orifices when only one is being utilized sexually. In cases where there is a fixation of response in anal and /or oral penetration in addition to vaginal coitus, it would seem only obvious that the more outgoing and aggressive female (as well as the masochistic, in their own way) might seek out or at least welcome three-way penetration and/or contact.
The sucking of the penis (or substitute), while being penetrated at both the anus and vagina, may provide the utmost in sensual pleasure for the female seeking "full" sexual gratification. For the penis in her mouth, rather than an inanimate substitute, there is more of a feeling of possessing that male appendage and having control and power over its virility. It is more manipulative and responsive to her various oral ministrations. The membranes of the mouth and tongue are acutely sensitive, and she can feel-instantly the response she evokes. The slightest throb or increase in pressure, the thrusts and holds, all of these are intensely intimate. And much the same would be true if she is intensely sucking another's tongue or nipple.
If the female is fellating the male because of a negative motivation (i.e.-because she believes it is "dirty" and she wants to punish herself), the physical sensations may be just as enjoyable at the time, but result in guilt feelings later on.
The taboo that has been placed upon acts of oral and anal heterosexual intercourse are peculiar almost entirely to our Western (American and European), Judeo-Christian dominated civilization. In other cultures of the world, such acts have long been accepted as very normal and natural elements of lovemaking between a man and a woman. They are mentioned prominently in some of the ancient Indian and Oriental love manuals dating back hundreds and even thousands of years.
Dr. Walter Braun, former professor of psychiatry at the University of Breslau, states in his book, The Cruel and the Meek (Luxor, London 1967) that: "In most areas of our Western society actions like cunnilingus and fellatio, although widely practiced in secret, are commonly regarded as perversions, or at least as aberrations (which is almost the same thing), whereas elsewhere these practices are considered not only as quite unexceptionable variations of normal love-play but as pleasurable preliminaries or accompaniments of heterosexual erotic relations."
Is the three-wayfermale to be generally considered abnormal? Are her partners in these activities abnormal, depraved or creatures of unnatural lust?
Certainly, Mrs. X., with her obsessive-compulsive demands for frequent and very forcefully performed simultaneous penile penetration resulting from a repressive childhood is not a mentally healthy individual. Nor would any competent authority, in my opinion, ever condone such activity in a group situation. But when performed between a man and his wife, even with the use of mouth, fingers and artificial devices such as dildoes and vibrators, I cannot see that the acts or desires per se are abnormal or harmful.
In the words of the late Dr. Abraham Brill, "We call them perversions only when they absolutely dominate the picture, that is, when they are fixed. Occasional indulgence in these acts does not stamp those practicing them as abnormal."
Most authorities seem to be in general agreement on this. Thus the three-way-female who insists upon triple penetration all the time or is otherwise "addicted" to this form of act, might be considered abnormal and/or oversexed to an obsessive degree. If she indulges in these practices as occasional novelties at swinging parties, the motivations and psychodynamics may be obscured by the presence of some other aberration or neurotic condition.
Exhibitionism certainly plays a big part in the activities of the three-way-female because her acts are usually carried out with more than one other person and often with a large audience of voyeurs. In fact, all present and participating are voyeurs too. Even the autoerotic female who is three-way often enjoys watching herself and sometimes employs one or more mirrors. She is narcissistic, thus both voyeuristic and exhibitionist.
While most group activity may include primarily heterosexual penetration, my research has convinced me that the three-way-female is quite often bisexually or Lesbian oriented and does not feel the strong need for full penetration at all three orifices. Lingual, digital or other contact may serve much the same purpose in gratifying her sexual needs and desires.
At swinging parties, a three-way relationship often evolves in a more or less spontaneous manner of "natural" progression, considering the erogenous response and attractions of the three involved areas of the female anatomy.
Mrs. Y., a strikingly attractive brunette of thirty-seven who swings regularly with her husband, described the following event, which should serve to illustrate this:...." with eight or ten couples before things had loosened up and the first sessions were over. Rita is the kind of girl men just flock to and drool over, and I find her naked body a beautifully sexy sight to behold. I enjoy most watching her get fucked, but I have sucked her cute pussy many times too. The reaction I get is marvelous, although she will not reciprocate with another girl. There isn't a part of her body that doesn't welcome a woman's soft tongue. Oh ... or a man's either....
"This happened when we were all lying around nude and watching ... or half-watching ... a new color fuck film from Denmark. Some of the lights were still on and you could see all the activity in the room fairly good.
"Rita started her usual squirming and there was a man there right away to open her cunt lips and eat and suck and slurp. He was a gobbler, for sure. And then another and another. I began to suck her breasts and fondle them while there was still room. Her titties are a delight to lip-up and then suck her big, hard nipples. I wanted both of them for my sex dinner, but Jean started for the other one.
"Things began to get slightly out of hand and I guess ideas were jelling and being confused too. My husband set up some pillows and put his head on them so that Rita could stretch out over him. She supported herself on her feet or knees, I can't remember for sure ... and her hands. My husband lay back and went to eating her slurpy pussy like wow! And this other man kept using his fingers, sticking them in her pussy as my husband was lapping it on the clit ... then juicing up her asshole so that he could make his grand entrance with that 'everhard' tool of his.
"This guy works real cool and groovy in ass fucking. You know? He didn't 'throw' it to her, he worked it in easy until he could establish a smooth rhythm. At that stage of the game, she was sucking my husband's cock too, but the dear shoots off so quickly when Rita eats him off she was soon finished with him and slurped down the last drops. She moved to the side and let me get under her to take my husband's place. I was under there sort of sideways because another man had jumped right under her mouth to put his thomping cock between those luscious lips for one of her outta sight blow-jobs.
"When her ass fucker was finished, Rita was still warm, so jean came over and fastened her lips to Rita's come dripping asshole and went off in a blaze of glory. Where I had had balls dangling in my nose and come dripping down, I now had Jeans chin and some more drool....
"Some gorgeous hunk of man had been doing [cunnilinguing] me, so I soon felt pretty good and gave my place over to another man after my third orgasm. That was a slick maneuver too. He went up under her in the opposite direction and got his cock in her pussy with a little help and was fucking her beautifully while he was lying on his back and Rita was still having her asshole tongued by Jean.
"The time had come! No more erections ready for Rita. I thought surely I could score and get her to eat my dripping hot pussy. This was going to be my great moment of triumph. Well, you've probably guessed it. She wouldn't do it. But she did see that there weren't any more hard cocks around or any that looked promising enough to siphon up. Rita started to mumble-scream, Tit ... tit ... It was weird the way she was going on, panting and moving her body around wildly and having little orgasms or suffering for them ... I couldn't tell which.
"God! I never had my tits sucked so hard in my life! I thought she was going to vacuum my nipples away and swallow them!
"Rita had to have something to suck on, something sexy and hot, no matter how good the fucking and sucking was at the other end She is the living end!"
Lesbians who are three-way may also be satisfied by oral, vaginal and anal contact and/or penetration not involving the penis (although many Lesbians seem to enjoy fellating men). The nipples of one woman are frequently sucked to a high state of stiffness and excitement, and then inserted at the anus and/or vagina. If the active female has small breasts, they may be taken in toto into the mouth or vulva.
The nipple at the vulva is often rubbed against the clitoris. However, when a third girl enters the picture, other variations on the same theme are often employed. The use of fingers in the lower body openings may provide the desired sensations, while sucking of the tongue or clitoris or labia may provide oral satisfaction.
In still other instances, as I have mentioned previously, dildoes, vibrators and other objects are used, particularly for anal insertion and vaginal contact and penetration. Such devices are now advertised and sold all over the U.S. and come in configurations suited best for the rectum, vagina, clitoris, etc. As will be demonstrated quite vividly in some of the more detailed studies that comprise each of the following chapters, there are indeed many, many techniques that may be employed by the three-way female-heterosexually, homosexually, bi-sexually and autoerotically.
The psychological roots of the phenomenon of the three-way female are almost always combined with the discovery of physical responses at these areas and in these orifices. They may be related to a negative or positive reaction to early formed fixations or experiences or attitudes gained in infancy, childhood, adolescence and even beyond. The psychodynamics vary in form and complexity from individual to individual.
We may find a hundred cases where the root causes are almost identical, then discover forty or more of a different psychogenesis, and some resulting from altogether isolated fixations or reactions to problems and traumas and situations in combining forms.
For these reasons, I shall try to present lucid and succinct comments following the intimate details of all persons who tell their story-both the three-way-females themselves, and those who have participated with them. It is every bit as educational for the professional psychologist to seek some common denominators as it is for the seriously interested layman or student of sexual behavior and the psychic phenomena involved.
I have attempted to explain in this brief chapter that the roots may be quite similar in some cases; there will be fragments of psychological fixation and physical discovery quite common to all. But just as no two human beings are precisely alike in physiognomy or personality, none are exactly the same in their drive and motivation for certain forms of sexual intercourse. And this simple truth is very definitely applicable to the three-way female as her situation is so complex.
In closing this chapter, I would like to offer my deep appreciation and gratitude to the many contributors who have made this study possible. My thanks to the many professional authorities and researchers, and especially to those people so intimately involved in this behavior, and so often seriously in need of help themselves, who felt that by telling the story of their own sex lives they might in some way be of help to others.
The following chapters are made up of case histories and behavioral reports culled out of probably a hundred or more, that are most representative of the behavior and psychodynamics of the three-way female and the accompanying maniacs and variations noted in so many instances.