Chapter 4
JULIE
Case History: Julie E. ... Age: 37.
The subject is a shapely woman married to a dentist. She has a house in the suburbs of Chicago but this interview took place in a rest home where she is recuperating from a suicide try and a nervous breakdown. Her doctors gave her permission to tape her confession because they felt that it would aid in her recovery.
"I guess I'll have to reenter the world some day but I feel safe in this rest home. My doctors say that all the patients here feel the same way; this is a womb we all retreat to in times of trouble.
"I suppose they want to see me leave and face the horrible facts that drove me here in the first place. Well, I have nothing against facing facts as this taped interview will prove.
"I'm not one of these people gifted with total recall so I'll not go all the way back to my baby days where, no doubt, I will find that my troubles began when my mother didn't give me her nipple upon demand. No, I'll start with Kevin which is only eight months ago.
"Kevin is a sixteen year old boy who moved in next door to me and my husband. He was the oldest boy in a family of five other youngsters. His father was a foreman in a plant in Chicago and his mother had her hands full just being a mother to such a large brood.
"After three miscarriages myself, I stopped trying to have children. My husband, Arnold, was disappointed and talked about adoption but we never did get around to bringing a child into our lives. Maybe it was all for the best when I think about what happened.
"The people who sold the house to this young family were a retired couple who went to live in Florida. After their almost death-like silence Kevin and his family came on like gang-busters.
"Frankly I welcomed the noise and the action. The kids started to drift over to my place once they found I had a free hand with the cookies. I suppose I was just a childless woman finding some kind of outlet for her maternal feelings.
"Kevin, being a sixteen year old, didn't come for cookies. His main ambition in life was to become seventeen so he could get a driver's license. He spent hours working on the family car in the garage until he had it humming perfectly. It was his talent with motors that formed our first social contact.
"Arnold knew a great deal about teeth but nothing at all about cars. He called the garage for the slightest problem. When the car wouldn't start one cold morning Kevin offered to give the battery a boost.
"The boy seemed so eager to work on a new car that I allowed him to hook up the battery with cables leading to his family's automobile. He started the car in a minute and Arnold offered the boy money, but he wouldn't take it.
"'Hell, what are neighbors for?' he grinned.
"When my husband drove off I invited the lad in for coffee and cake which was the least I could do. I liked Kevin right away because he was a bright, attractive, engaging boy.
"I learned that he planned to go to college and was looking forward to leaving home. 'Hell, what kind of action can you have when you live with your folks?' he told me.
"The 'action' he was talking about, of course, meant girls. This didn't surprise me but his easy confidence to me, almost a stranger, did. Kevin was not the shy type. He spoke his mind with all the refreshing directness of his extreme youth. When he discovered that I was childless, he said, 'Are you on the pill?'
"His question annoyed me but I told him, without any show of emotion, about my miscarriages. The boy shook his thick, chestnut hair and bit into a piece of coffee cake. 'You can have three of my brothers and sisters if you want them,' he said with his mouth full.
"I thought of Kevin as a brat, an engaging one but still a brat. Yet, when he left, the house seemed strangely empty. I wasn't used to having such young people around me and I found I rather liked it.
"Kevin's brothers and sisters began to make my house their second home, but I didn't mind. Their mother seemed to be pleased that I wasn't a crank, because her last neighbor hated everyone under the age of twenty.
"All the children were very warm and friendly and they soon were playing with the other kids in the district so that they no longer had reason to hang out in my house. You see, children tend to associate with other children so that they naturally drifted in each other's home. Since I had no children they had no reason to drop by. I missed them.
"Kevin, the sixteen year old, didn't waste much time finding girls. He was soon dating at least three of them on my block alone. To make money for his dates he worked at various odd jobs. When anyone wanted some work done on a car, they called for Kevin. He quickly got the reputation as a reliable mechanic so he started making enough money to pursue his love life. I hesitated to call it a sex life, because I had the old-fashioned notion that boys of sixteen should be virgins.
"I hired Kevin to mow the lawn and help me with heavy work around the house. He was good company along with being a good worker, so I found myself looking for things he could do just so I could talk to him. When the car needed cleaning and waxing I didn't have a garage man do it but called for Kevin.
"After the lad had finished, he came into the house expecting to be paid. I didn't give him the money right away because I wanted him to sit and chat awhile. I gave him a can of soda and got him to talk about his life's ambition. Kevin wasn't one to think far ahead and he only pointed his snub nose to immediate goals like getting a driver's license and moving away from home.
"I suppose 'callow' would best describe the lad, but I convinced myself that it was something he would eventually outgrow.
'"What kind of girl will you marry?' I asked, bringing sex into our conversation for the first time.
'"A rich one,' he told me quickly. '"You mean you'd actually marry for money?'
"He looked at me blankly. 'What other reason is there?'
"His glance and question threw me. 'Well ... there's always love,' I stammered.
"Kevin shrugged his shoulders and made a sound with his mouth. 'Hell, I'm getting all the love I can handle now,' he said.
"I felt the blood pound in my temples. I wondered just what he meant by 'love'. Although the boy was only sixteen, he seemed to be very self-possessed for his age. Maybe he was having a sex life after all. The girls he was going with on the block were known to be swingers who went in for mini-skirts and late hours.
"They always did seem a bit too wise for their years to me, but I never imagined that they went all the way with boys. But, if they did, Kevin was sure to be there. Boys of sixteen were generally shy around girls but he was the exception.
"I don't want to sound like a prude because I'm not. I had my first sex experience when I was eighteen when I let a boy screw me in his car. It was a rather messy affair and I still remember how the boy took pains to put a rubber on his erected penis and then take it off again after he had finished.
"After that there were two other boys before I married Arnold and turned respectable. Three one-shot experiences before marriage can't rate me as a slut because I never was wild, as some girls are.
"Kevin made me think of my teen years and my moment, brief though they were, of lust. Kevin was sixteen and the girls he was dating were about the same age. Maybe girls and boys were screwing earlier. After all, I was just a couple of years older before I had my first sex experience.
"Then I remembered when Kevin brought up the subject of the pill that day he had started my husband's car. My first boy had used a rubber. Perhaps rubbers were out now and the pill was in. Instead of a boy protecting himself it was up to the girl. With so many birth-control devices available to the youngest person, it was little wonder the birth rate was dropping.
"Sex experiences before marriage no longer carried with it the horrors of unwanted pregnancies. The pill was now the 'in' thing for teenyboppers to carry in their purses.
"I don't know why I became so preoccupied with Kevin's sex life, but I did. When I got him over to my house on another job, I got him to talk about his girl friends. He then told me that he had been having sex relations for the past year and a half ... since he was fourteen!
"Kevin appeared surprised that I was so shocked by his revelation. 'What's the big deal about that?' he wanted to know. 'Sex is normal. As long as you don't make someone do something against his will or rape a kid, then a consenting couple can do anything they want.'
"The boy was telling me the popular credo of today's Love Generation. The term 'consenting couple' had been said before in countless panel discussions over television and radio about youth's morals and mores. I had to remember Kevin was living in an age where nudity was flaunted in public on stage and in the street and where people make no bones about the fact that they are living in unwedded bliss with their lovers.
"Kevin was sixteen and at the peak of his sexual powers so what reason was there for him to repress it? If he found a pill-taking teenybopper who was willing to consent all the way with him, why shouldn't he screw her?
"When I told my husband about Kevin and his sex life, he told me that the boy was just 'sounding off. He just couldn't accept the fact that sixteen year old boys and girls today were enjoying sex. But, then, Arnold was something of a square. He was eight years older than I and tended to be sexually indifferent in bed.
"It wasn't a matter of age creeping up on him because Arnold fell asleep ten minutes after our first experience on our wedding night bed.
"As the years went on, my husband looked upon sex as an annoying itch rather than a pleasure. In bed, when he wanted to scratch that itch, he would say something like, 'Want to, dear?'
"Arnold always asked me if I wanted sex and never surprised me with an advance. I envied the women who complained that they had beasts for husbands who grabbed and screwed them at will. My husband was too civilized for such sportive tricks and always gave me a request for love as if he were ordering a plate of beans.
"Anyhow, my husband was a virile enough lover and I couldn't complain. There were times, however, that he screwed me as if he were drilling a bad tooth, out of a sense of duty rather than pleasure. I suppose he had the idea that, as my husband, he had to throw me the meat every now and then to keep me from straying.
"Maybe I'm being too rough on Arnold. He's stayed by me all through the scandal, my suicide attempt and my breakdown. Another man would've beaten me up or screamed for a divorce ... but not Arnold. No, he's too civilized for that.
"But, I'm getting ahead of my story. I was telling you how I finally came to realize that Kevin, that cute boy next door, was the champion stud of the neighborhood. He didn't have to go after girls because they came for him. I used to see these mini-skirted dolls ring his doorbell to see if he could come out and play their most adult games.
"It reached a point where Kevin would hide in the garage until they had gone. Once he even hid in my house to avoid a girl he had stopped caring for. Times certainly have changed. I remember a day when it was the boys who chased the girls.
"It was the time that Kevin hid in my house that the intimacy began between us. It had a natural point of conversation when I talked about the girl he was avoiding. 'She's a pretty thing,' I told him as I glanced through the window at his front porch. The girl was a bit overweight but otherwise attractive.
'"She's a drag,' Kevin told me. 'She can't take the hint I'm not interested in her any more.'
"I watched as the girl gave up trying to contact Kevin and she left the front door in a huff. As I watched her plump rear wiggle down the street, I said, 'Have you had sex with her?'
"'Yeah,' the sixteen year old told me casually. 'A lousy piece of ass, though. All she does is lie there while I do all the work.'
'"Boys are supposed to do all the work,' I said. 'Do you expect her to get on top and do it?'
"Suddenly I found myself making the most erotic conversation with a boy old enough to be my son. While I thought it odd, to say the least, the boy talked as if he found nothing unusual in our conversation. I could be just another one of his pals for all it mattered. Free sexual expression was the thing amongst teenagers.
'"Have you ever taken the male position?' the sixteen year old wanted to know, looking me squarely and unblinkingly in my eyes.
"I touched my throat as if trying to unclog the words that got stuck there. 'Why ... no ... no, Kevin,' I answered both stunned and delighted by our erotic inter-change.
'"You've been married all these years and you've never tried something different?' Kevin asked with surprise. 'You're an attractive woman. If you were my wife, I'd...'
"For the first time, the aggressive lad showed some degree of restraint and didn't finish the statement. But, by now, I wanted to hear what he had on his mind. 'Go on, Kevin,' I urged. 'I'm not as square as you may think.'
"The boy leered at me and said, 'If you were my wife, I'd ram you every which way possible.'
"I smiled weakly. 'Why go after a woman my age when you have all these young girls willing to satisfy you?'
'"Sometimes it's best to go to an established firm instead of a beginner,' he told me with a wink.
"I could've ended the conversation there and sent him home, but I wanted to listen to more. I wanted him to go even further than words. ...
"'Arnold thinks you are all talk and no action,' I told him knowing that he wasn't the kind to let that go by.
"Kevin showed a flash of anger. 'I can give you all the action you want,' he said.
"The boy pressed his lean body against mine and kissed me on the lips. His busy hands groped at my flesh, touching me in all the intimate places. Then he opened his fly and exposed his aroused manhood. 'Take off your clothes,' he all but ordered. 'You can tell your husband afterwards just how much talk I am.'
"The situation had gone far enough and I knew I should've ended it there. I had baited the teenager to this sexual fury and it was up to me to calm him down. But my own sexual fury had taken possession of my body. No boy had shown me such virile wanting since my girlhood days.
"Kevin started to pull off his clothes and I gazed at his naked body. He was muscular with a narrow waist and a smooth chest. He had a good sexual development with a thick patch of pubic hair. His penis was about the size of my husband's and I assumed that the young lad had more than his share of sexual hormones. This had to be the reason why he was so sexually aggressive.
"'Chicken?' Kevin snapped, placing his hands on his bare hips. 'Now who is all talk and no action?'
"I had come to the brink. I still had time to back off and not jump over the cliff of boy-screwing, but my entire being cried for the flesh of this stud. I removed my dress and stepped out of the slippers I was wearing. When I undid my bra and bared my breasts, the sixteen year old boy leered hard.
"'Man, what tits!' he gasped. 'You make the girls I've been banging look like boys!'
"I pulled my panties down and we faced one another completely naked. Kevin looked me over as if I were a prize horse and he was interested in buying me. He walked around my body. His hands swept over my buttocks. 'I love big asses,' he breathed and walked around in front of me again.
'"That girl that just left was pretty broad in the beam,' I reminded him, still wondering why he'd turn down a girl his own age for a woman old enough to be his mother.
'"Yeah, but she can't take it in the ass,' he informed me. 'I like to do everything in bed.'
"The boy was even more sexual than I had imagined. He went in for sodomy. Although I had fellated, I was still an anal virgin. Arnold and the boys in my past had never even attempted to sodomize me.
"Kevin threw one of his arms around my waist and demanded to know where the bedroom was. I walked towards it with the sexually aroused teenager in tow. As soon as the lad saw the bed he all but pushed me into it. He knelt on the mattress and spread my legs wide. In a flash he was on top of me with his engorged penis buried all the way into my vagina.
"The sudden stroke made me gasp aloud. Usually my sex affairs were carried on in silence, but this young boy was making me react as no man or boy had ever made me react before.
"He rammed his tube of flesh with piston-like power. While he was as well-endowed as my husband, he used his dick with such energy that it felt as if it were twice as large. As the saying goes: It isn't what you got but how you use it.
"The lad was so aroused that he couldn't hold back his come any longer and let it fly into my body. His sperm just poured out like a fountain and I pushed up against his body, lifting it. The nipples of my breasts were stiff and probed up against his smooth skin. I forgot about our age difference. This was easy to do because his hard, spewing penis was anything but child-like.
"'Man, oh, man!' Kevin signed after he had emptied himself out into me. 'I dig your meat!'
'"And I dig yours,' I told him, lost in a sexual dream.
"The sixteen year old slipped off my body and looked down at my large breasts and my erected red nipples. He ran his tongue over one of the nipples and then started sucking on it. His teeth hurt but I didn't complain. If the boy wanted me that much he could eat me alive.
"Kevin was full of all kinds of wicked ideas. He sat on my body with his legs straddling my waist. Then he placed his long but limp dick between my breasts. He masturbated himself into hardness by pushing the globes of flesh together so that his penis was caught between them. Air whistled through his thin nostrils in excitement as he rubbed my breasts against his slowly engorging sex organ.
"I never knew that a sexual position could be so imaginative. I had mouthed Arnold a few times and he had gone down on me, but it never became one of our more pupular indoor sports. Most of my sexual experiences were the man-on-top, face-to-face variety of straight screwing. Kevin, with all his youth, knew enough to break away from that traditional mold.
"My eyes were fixed to the head of his dick with its small slit as I watched it swell and grow more livid with lust. My stiff nipples felt as if they were about to burst as Kevin rubbed his palms over them as he pushed my breasts back and forth. Just when I thought it would shoot a load of come, young Kevin rolled me over and rammed his rod between my butt halves.
'"It hurts!' I cried.
"The teenaged boy grumbled and picked up a jar of cold cream from the night table. He greased up his stick and then fingered some of the cold cream into my anus. The boy grabbed my meaty rear hard after he had finished preparing both of us for sodomy. 'I haven't had a can like this in the longest time,' he said thickly.
"Kevin, not as pushy as he had been before, slipped his warm tool of flesh between my butts and inched into my rear opening. With the cold cream, he managed to slide into my body, but with some effort. There was still some pain, but I wanted to have this sexual act that was unique to me, completed. For all I knew, I might never have another chance like this.
"The sixteen year old boy slipped the entire length of his rod into my anal passage. He lifted his body up slowly and injected his tube of flesh into me once more. He repeated this action and then shot his load. His warm come filled my rear and I moaned in ecstasy.
"'What are you going to tell your husband now?' he wanted to know as he lay on top of my butts.
"That you're a man of action,' I said.
'"You going to tell him how I screwed and Greeked you?'
"That, of course, was out of the question. Arnold was slow to anger, but this would really make him blow his cork. I had allowed a teenaged boy the use of my body. I couldn't say that I seduced him, actually, but I had led him to perform these sexual acts. While Kevin had been pushy, I had allowed myself to be pushed. As a woman in her late thirties I should have known better.
"Kevin got the idea that I would always be available for him and came back the next day after my husband had left for more fun and games.
"'Look, Kevin,' I pleaded, 'let's not complicate our lives. Yesterday was unusual and I want to forget it. I must have lost my head.'
'"Don't give me that,' the boy said. 'You wanted it as much as I did. You still do.'
"When the boy grabbed at my body again I pushed him away. I hated to be taken for granted. Kevin was a great stud but he was just too sure of himself for his own good.
"I soon learned what kind of mean streak the boy had when I began to get calls from strange fellows. 'I got seven hard inches for you, baby,' one of them told me. 'When do you want me over?'
"It was obvious that Kevin, burning over the fact that I had pushed him away, had told all his friends about me. When I went to stores in the neighborhood, I noticed that the teen crowd looked at me in a knowing way. They stopped talking when I came in and whispered amongst themselves when I was there. After I left they stared out of the window at me when I walked away.
"The next time I got Kevin alone I demanded to know why he had told everyone about our brief affair. He smirked and said, 'I'm just trying to line you up with more studs. If you don't like me, I'm sure you'll find someone.'
"I screamed and slapped him hard across the face. The boy slapped me back harder. He wasn't one to absorb punishment without striking quickly in return.
"This exchange of slaps seemed to increase the obscene phone calls. Kevin, it appeared, was a sadist of the first order and had set his teenaged pack on me. While it was bad enough for me to take the phone calls, I really cracked up when the unseen strangers filled Arnold in on my relationship with Kevin.
"My husband came from work one day with his face pale and drawn. I knew that something was on his mind. 'Julie,' he said, 'I've been getting the weirdest phone calls at the office ... some sick stuff about you and the boy next door.'
"I went cold and shook. I was never good at bluffing and I knew that I could not convince my husband that the teenagers were just up to some tricks. I went into the bathroom and picked up one of Arnold's razors. I slashed both of my wrists and watched the red blood gush out of the wounds. There was nothing left for me to do but die.
"Arnold wrapped up my wrists and drove me over to the nearest hospital. The doctors stitched me up but I was so numb that I didn't feel any pain. If I couldn't escape into eternity I could escape into the recesses of my mind. Reality blurred and I had to be given shock treatments.
"Arnold-likes to think I was crazy when I screwed the sixteen year old. He wants to believe that I hadn't been in my right mind when I allowed the stud to use and abuse me. Well, we all need excuses to dodge hard facts, don't we? I haven't the heart to tell my husband that I was only too sane when I had sex relations with such a young boy.
"I'll be leaving this place soon. One of these days I'll just have to face the boy next door. I hope he'll have the decency to ignore me as I will ignore him. Young passion is only good for the young and I've had my fill of youth."
Reaction:
Julie will, probably never go back to lad loving again after her near-tragic affair with the sixteen year old who appears to be the sadist the woman claims he is. If Kevin hadn't been so overtly sexual there would not have been any affair because Julie wouldn't have chased an innocent lad.
But, since the boy paraded his sexual powers, the mature woman allowed herself to be taken along on a tide of emotion created by the teenager's aggression.
A not-too-happy sex life caused Julie to drift towards the vital youngster. If her husband had been more passionate, she would not have had the need to seek satisfaction elsewhere. Although she is in no way a nymphomaniac, Julie does have strong, natural sexual leanings that demand release. Her husband couldn't provide this release, so, unconsciously, the married woman sought other outlets.
Frank Caprio, in his book, VARIATIONS IN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR, states that middle-aged women tend to panic when they realize their husbands have passed their sexual prime and they will never again get the same boyish passion they had enjoyed from them in their younger days.
Julie was at this dangerous stage in her life when she met Kevin. She, like the boy, was at her sexual peak, and thus she had more in common with him than she had with her husband. At first she found a kind of satisfaction in listening to the lad talk about his erotic desires. When she realized how available the boy was, her attentions became fixed on him.
The boy, too, knew that the woman was very available, so their sexual relationship became something neither of them could, or wanted to, avoid.
At this writing, Julie is back in her suburban home with her husband, and from what I've gathered lately, Kevin will be going to college soon and will not be around to remind the woman of her single fall from grace that almost killed her.