Chapter 4
I'm still searching—or is it still running? I liked Jack, I bleed Joanie, I'd really gotten my rocks off well with them. Now I was ready to move on.
My guess is this: most individuals, as they go through life, at some point find another person (or a situation, or a group of people), with whom they're ready to spend some or all of their life. Maybe the individual has found someone he really wants, maybe he's found someone he'll settle for because the pain and the loneliness and the searching have become too burdensome. Anyway, I haven't found anyone I'm willing to do that with yet.
I found a great Bobby Dylan song the other day. It's called "Like a Rolling Stone."
Sometimes it feels .good to be a rolling stone, on my own; mostly it feels miserable though. When the pain gets too deep, I go out and look for someone. I look for flesh like an addict looks for heroin. Will there never be an end to this?
I've grown a lot while I've been searching. Last Saturday night I had a curious, bittersweet experience that I got some enjoyment out of.
I was lying on my bed, bushed, around eight o'clock, ' after shopping all day. I was remembering Richard, the son-of-a-bitch from the office I'd been involved with before. He sure had picked up fast where I was at with my lips. My mouth was a scorching pussy. Maybe I'd meet someone else if I went to Sid's party tonight, someone else who would recognize me right away, and then I -wouldn't have to do any sneaking around or explaining.
My tongue was licking my lips. I felt my blood flow into my lips, and they were beginning to pulsate. I pressed my lips together and felt my mouth pucker. I ran the soft, inner fingerprint of my index finger over my luscious, pink mouth, and my whole body began to quiver in response.
Shit, I was at it again! Always playing with myself!
I pushed myself up off the bed. If I got going now. I'd be hot as hell at the party tonight and that could have interesting results.
I caught sight of my nude, slender figure IB my full-length closet mirror. I was a piece of ass, and I knew it! My tits and pussy were waiting to get felt up by the right hands—or maybe any hands.
If I could have detached my mouth and gone all over my own body, tonguing and kissing it, I would have done it. I tried that with the vacuum cleaner one time, and went wild! This tune I settled for going up to my reflection in the mirror. As I got breathtakingly close to her beauty, I reached up and kissed her on the most wonderful part of her body, her lips.
Maybe I was miserable inside a lot of the time, but I could love myself for my physical beauty anyway. I was so tempted to jerk off—but I had a feeling something was going to happen at the party that I'd need all my energy and brains for.
I dressed simply in a tan dress with a large white collar. I emphasized my slender, voluptuous body with a pair of high heels. I did a little advertising: the "V" of my collar came down far into the ample, fleshy cleft of my bosom. My tits stood out full and inviting, unbridled by a bra. I even toyed with my nipples to make them jut way out through the cloth of my dress.
My week at work, with those idiot computers, had been frustrating. Now I was ready—for anything or anybody!
I walked over to Sid's apartment, it was only about ten blocks away, still in the Village. I still felt beautiful, walking along those streets. Some Italian fruit vendors shot me admiring stares as I passed down a small side street. The rising fires of spring must have been burning in all our veins.
"Whotta' ass on that one!"
"Sophia! Sophia Loren!"
"I eat your pussy!"
My steps slowed. I wanted to stop, share my beauty with them, let them admire me, feel me up, have me. I could do it.
"Come here, baby, I give you good time!"
Not now. Some other time. I was responding to their need, when it was myself I wanted to please. I wanted to get really hot, get into some good mouth sex, and these guys would have been too fast for me.
I came to the right building on McDougal St. It had the typical crumby looking, tilted, red-brick exterior of so many of the Village houses. It had been built in 1878 a little bronze plaque by the door informed me.
The stairway was narrow, dark, and dirty.
I opened a dark door slowly and stepped inside. I was in one of the most brightly lighted rooms I had ever seen. Large white paper globes with white light streaming out of them were all over the ceiling.
Some fifteen people stood around the walls of the large room, conversing and staring. Hands gestured and held out various drinks and cigarettes. I thought I was in a garden of statues at first. I smelled pot in the air. I adapted my time sense to theirs, then I felt I had walked in among actors rehearsing rather than statues. Yet, the whole scene seemed unreal to me.
I draped my coat on a chair. My host must have been busy somewhere. No one greeted me or acknowledged my presence. I felt lost.
I saw a bar in the next room. I took an uncertain step towards it. Then I remembered the look of my naked body in the mirror.
I would go fishing, using my own beautiful body as bait. I took a deep breath and felt my fine, firm tits stand out.
I walked across the room, swaying my hips provocatively as I went. I was moving slowly. I could feel my lips protruding in a pout. I felt their fullness, and they were red from all the blood in them. I sensed the attention of the room was on my lips. Men were looking up from their drinks to decide whether I was fuck-able or not, and I thought many of the women were comparing my beauty to their own.
I loved all this attention. I felt my whole face flushing—I must have been as red as a three hour harden.
"Young lady, let me get you a drink."
A short, young, dark-haired man with a curt Van Dyke beard was blocking my path. He was pretty skin, but he had a substantial way about him. He seemed good looking, but somehow sinister and he-scared me. Maybe it was the combination of his pointed beard and his blue blazer that was unsettling to me.
I decided to take the offensive.
"Don't you have something I could drink now?"
He looked down at his drink, confused. He seemed to be hanging in the air like a great eagle all ready to swoop down on his prey.
I kept on going past him. I poured myself a tall, golden Scotch and soda and downed half the glass. The room looked better as the burning of the alcohol warmed my belly.
I leaned back with my ass pressing into the bar table. I still felt conspicuous, maybe because I was hot after putting on my sex show. I was aroused. I wanted someone to admire and carve out the beautiful contours of my body the way Jack had done.
My new friend came back bearing a tray of canapés.
"After what you said I find myself quite concerned ' over your diet, Miss ... "
"Lips. Just call me Lois Lips. That's quite a gift you brought me. Here, let me try it."
He pulled the toothpick out of a baby hot dog he'd brought. He held it in his fingers before my lips.
I reached ray tongue out for the hot dog, looking into his eyes all the while. I flicked my tongue back and forth across the tip. I wrapped my lips around the piece of meat and slowly sucked it in. When the guy released the weenie into my mouth, he reached over and ran his fingers over my lips. Then he patted my cheek and smoothed back my hair. I'd thought he was pretty slimy before, but now I wondered if he wasn't nice. I still didn't trust him, but it looked like he might know how to satisfy me sexually.
His eyes were staring at me. Pinpoints of black were drilling into my soul. I knew he wanted me.
I moved closer to him. I directed my gaze right at his lips. My firm boobs were pushing out through my dress into his chest.
My pussy was burning. I reached down to rub it, knowing my gesture would be hidden from the other people hi the room by this guy's body.
"You never told me your name."
"Randy. Randy the Rutter they call me."
"That's nice," I said. Just as I was speaking those words, the back of my hand brushed into something hard. He was hard! I wanted his cock in my mouth. I turned my hand around and gripped the head of his cock through his pants.
His hard look continued, but he didn't do anything. I decided to see how far I could go with the guy. I wanted to see if he ever lost his composure, too.
I pulled down the zipper of his pants. I reached in through his fly and began cuddling his stiff hot dick in my palm. His cock was so lovely! My stomach felt like a sunny meadow full of darting butterflies. I could hardly catch my breath.
"Randy the Rutter," I muttered looking up into his slender set face and his hard eyes.
"You want to suck me off, don't you?"
"Mmmmm." I nodded dumbly. "Tuck me back in and let's go."
I did as I was told. We started to pass through the door by the bar.
"Hope I'm not breaking into anything here."
I jumped. A short, burly fellow with crew cut blond hair stepped through the doorway. I watched his gaze drop to the hardon pushing out from Randy's pants.
"You are, Tony. Get lost. This young lady and I are just getting acquainted."
Randy the Rutter was talking like a gangster now. The fat guy was taken aback.
"Aw, come on, Randy. What happened to the 'everything's that's mine is yours' line you were giving me last week?"
Tony's blubbery lips were wide open and his hands were outstretched. He seemed to want me, and it did something for my ego, two guys after me ... two cocks to play with at once ... but I sensed a lot of violence hidden under Tony's fat compliancy. I also thought he was more wrapped up in Randy than with me.
"Tony," I broke in, jutting my hand on his arm. "I want to be with Randy right now. Talk to you before I leave the party, o.k.?"
Tony looked at me and bit his lip. Then he wheeled suddenly and stomped off.
Randy and I were alone again. He put his arm around my waist and led me through the door.
"But this is the bathroom, Randy," I protested.
Looking around, I found it was a large room for a bathroom. Fresh sky-blue paint covered the walls, black and white tiles on the floor. A furry rug covered most of the floor, and there was a dressing table in the corner.
Randy locked the door, then turned to me.
I felt nervous as hell. I sat down on the furry black cover on the toilet seat. All the annoying faces and chatter had given way to a silence that was underlined by the dim, ever-present rumble of traffic.
Randy strode over and faced his feet squarely apart before me.
"Where do you come from, Randy?" I asked, feeling stupid.
"The country of the blind, where the one-eyed man Is king!"
His cock was out now. The hole in his prick stared me in the face. It blinked at me, contracting into a fleshy mass, then enlarging into a vast hole.
He pressed his prick onto my closed lips.
I loved that hot, insistent male pressure that would tolerate no resistance. My lips opened. His rampant muscle slid in easily.
"Ahhh. It's warm and moist in your mouth, Lois."
His voice was strangely gentle. What was coming over him? I was worried, it seemed so out of character for this little prick of a satyr to be billing and cooing like that.
I bent my attention to the task. Cock! That's all I ever wanted, all I live for, opening my cunt of a mouth and sucking them in!
I began to explore the pink surface of his glans with my tongue. I grooved on the hundreds of tiny bumps covering the head of his cock. I found the tiny fold of skin right where his shaft began where men are especially sensitive. I sucked it into my mouth and nibbled on it.
He began to groan. He brought his cock in and out of my mouth. I clutched his ass through his pants so I could get more of his tumid meat in my mouth at once.
Now I was forced back. He was humping my mouth and back up against the water container on the back of the toilet. I felt cramped and squeezed hi and choked. The bathroom closed in around my dizzy head, and the blue swirled into a thick, fuzzy pea green.
I pushed my mouth off his meat and gave him a shove.
"Get back, Randy. I can't stand this!"
"Don't fuck with me, baby!" he said menacingly, going into his gangster routine again.
"No!"
My head jerked and my cheek stung. The echoes of his slap reverberated through the bathroom. I shrunk back.
I thought of calling for help, but I was ashamed to be caught in the bathroom like that. Besides, he had a fine cock and I could feel that my cunt was damp.
His brutality scared me, yet it turned me on at the same time. I could feel myself really coming alive in my burning cheek and all over my body.
"I'm sorry, Randy." I hung my head.
He jammed his cock into my cheek, and I felt it bend over.
Then he fucked my mouth, and his flaring penis drove deep into my throat. I gagged. I tried to suck at it, but my jaw wouldn't close.
"Come on, Lois. Perform! Lois Lips you call yourself? That's fake advertising. My canary could give me a better blow job!"
I tried nibbling and slushing my tongue all around, but nothing was working.
"You stink, Lips! A ninety-year-old whore with her teeth out could put more into this than you are!"
"Get up!" he cried.
He jerked me to my feet by my hair.
"Ow! That hurts!"
"Get down there!"
I tripped over his extended foot and crumpled heavily onto the black rug.
"I'd like to see if you can act like a woman instead of a lousy, two-bit whore."
I looked up at him, studying him and my reactions. I was glowering back at him, yet inside I could feel myself breathless and hollow. I was hot and ready to do what he wanted.
"Let's see what you've got there, Lois. Strip!"
He gave me a sharp little jab in the ass with his toe.
I unbuttoned the front of my dress and jiggled my boobs at him. I felt they were full and free and beautiful and that they would interest him.
His hard eyes kept looking into mine as if my tits didn't exist.
"Keep going!"
I knelt on my knees and kept unbuttoning. Then I was done. I flared my dress back over my shoulders. I was bare to him from my tits to my thighs, except for my underpants.
I dug my fingers in under the elastic waistband and began wriggling out of my panties. They slid down over the fleshy globules of my buttocks, then the furry mound of my pussy, leaving a series of little indentations where they had pressed into the pliant flesh of my tummy.
I sat back on my ass to get them off. I always feel so clumsy and exposed in this position. My feet were sticking up and I felt like a fat, vulnerable blob lying there.
My panties stuck on the heel of my shoe, so I threw the shoes off into the - corners of the bathroom. I lay back on my elbows, the whole front of my body, my boobies and my cunnie, and my open fleshy thighs too, sprawled out almost into Randy's face.
"Here I am. What are you going to do with me, Randy Rutter?"
I don't know what I was into, flaunting myself and daring him like that. Maybe I wanted to get myself fucked, even though it's out of character.
He stood there, hands on his hips, his blue blazer open, looking cool as a cucumber, studying my nude body.
"I'm going to find out if you can fuck and better than you can blow, that's what."
He played with his cock. He was all dressed, just his fly open, and his big harden sticking out, and now he was looking up my cunt, jerking himself off.
He went down over me on all fours. I could feel his hot breath and the intensity of his body.
Her jerked my legs up in the air, onto his shoulders, and came right up to me so that his cock was poised on the lips of my cunt, ready to slam in. So help me, I was hot as hell, my cunt was dripping like crazy inside. I'm a cocksucker, not a fucker, but this time I knew I really wanted it, though I wouldn't have admitted that for the world.
I began squirming all over the place, fighting to get free. My hair was getting wild and tangled, all over my face and breasts. My nipples were inflamed, and my tits were going in all different directions. My feet were kicking in the air and my widely parted thighs were banging up against his chest.
"Just keep righting, Lois, baby," he sneered. "I like it that way."
As I threw myself around, I realized I was jamming my cunt onto the -head of his cock. I was getting myself in deeper and deeper.
He moved in further. His shoulders forced my thighs back almost beside my cheeks. I was bent over into a huge fleshy oval of an egg fuckable, unable to resist.
He drew himself up and the line of his lips tightened.
"Wham!" He drove himself deep into my body, burying his shaft deep in my furry hump.
The shock vibrated deeply throughout my body. I was shocked into life. My blood was racing. I began fighting in earnest now.
I drew my feet back and began pummeling his head. I shoved at his body with my hands. And my pelvis—I began heaving my cunt all over the place, fighting the eternal battle of cunt versus cock, shoving my cunt up all around his cock, squeezing him as hard as I could. When I threw my body around, his big cock just came further and further into me.
"I've got you where I want you, baby," Randy said in a mixture of a laugh and a sneer. "I'm just sitting here, and letting you fuck like a bunny."
He was right, but I felt that I won either way. I was hitting him, and that felt good—but so did the fucking. I just wished that I was able to have more effect on him with my blows, though I was able to just groove on the fact that I was striking him.
He drew back from me and stood up. My warm, wet hole turned cold even in his brief absence, and I didn't know what he was going to be up to next.
He looked down on me with that hard leer in his eyes.
"Maybe I'll get the rest of them in here. Maybe I'll open the door and yell 'Gang bang, come and get it!' ". He paused. "On the other hand, maybe I'm just bluffing."
He strode over to the door, unlocked it, and threw it open.
Tony tumbled in from a squatting position and fell to the ground.
I was shocked.
Randy wasn't. "Eye to the keyhole, huh?" he asked with amused composure.
"I was thinking about calling for a gang bang, Tony," he continued, "but I guess you'll do. You go for this cunt, don't you?"
Tony, who was looking at me now, nodded. He was red faced and slobbering. He was repulsive to me, but I was so aroused now I was ready for just about anyone to do anything.
Randy swung the door shut and turned the key in the lock again.
"I've got her pretty well primed for you, Tony. Hold on a minute and I'll really get her hot."
He glanced at me to see how I was taking it. "Beauty and the beast," he muttered, chuckling.
I was lying there on my back on the floor, vulnerable ... My hands were cast back behind my head, my hair was strewn about like seaweed, my tits and tumid nipples were standing up in the air, young and proud. One of my knees was drawn up, and the other leg was outstretched, so that both these men could see my cunt. And—I was embarrassed—I was so hot that my pelvis kept squirming about and pressing on and off the floor in a gentle rhythm of animal heat.
Randy came back to me.
"Turn over," he commanded.
I froze. "What for?"
"You know what for. Go!"
Again, the point of his heel jabbed into my flesh, this time in my side. I jumped. I sat up half way, then turned and surrendered my luscious ass to the hard point of his attentions and his sexuality.
Tony was watching, slobbering still. His clothes were still on, but he had pulled out his meat and was playing with it like a delighted child. His cock was big and red and fat, and I could see a slight dribble coming from the end of it.
I couldn't see Randy, but I felt him lie down beside me. His clothes pressed into my side, then a hard point like a tiny balled fist.
"I'm gonna give it to you straight, Lois," he said, "No Vaseline, no spit. Just my raw meat."
I just lay there, waiting to see what would happen. I'd only gotten fucked six times in my life, and I'd never taken it in the ass before. I didn't know what it was going to feel like, but he sure made it sound pretty grim.
I didn't have to wait long.
His clothed knee pressed between my thighs and jerked them apart. He lay down across my back, but supported his weight on his elbows. I could, feel his hard rod pressing into the side of my buttock.
He shifted his body and now his cock came slowly over the entrance to my ass. It moved in a little ways and I enjoyed it. I thought that having a cock it my ass would be exciting and tickling.
That changed fast. He thrust into me suddenly.
"Yeowwww! Omigod! Shit, ifs killing me! Stop!" I cried out in a loud, panicked voice.
Randy drove deeper.
"Shheee—yit!" I screamed.
I was being skewered, like a piece of meat for a barbecue. I clenched my fists with all my might and tried to crawl towards the door.
"Stop that!" he ordered me.
He grabbed my shoulders from underneath my armpits and held me down. Then he began fucking me hi earnest. It was right at the end of his stroke that he really hurt me now, that last extra shove that he seemed to delight in making. I'd gotten myself into the control of a sadist.
"Tony," he grunted, "get over here!"
Tony breathed closer, panting heavily in my face and beaming.
Randy jerked at my right shoulder and yanked both of us over on our sides. He was still in me, but he didn't seem quite so deep that way. He kept moving in me, fucking my ass, and now I began to get into it too. It felt better when I could move with his rhythm, when I could be the one to wedge his dork way up inside my asshole.
Tony was alongside me now, his cock sticking my belly. He grunted and lifted my leg in the air, then rolled heavily onto me.
He found my cunt and pushing his cock into the opening. He didn't find the right place at first, and his cock banged into Randy's meat.
"You fuckin' slob, get it in there!" Randy cursed at Tony.
"I'm tryin', boss," Tony babbled.
To my surprise, I found myself reaching down to Tony's dork. - It was so big! I toyed with lovingly, even while Randy was grinding away at my ass. I wanted to bend down and blow Tony, his meat was so magnificent, but the circumstances didn't permit that.
My cunt was still hot and hungry, so I guided him in. He crashed in, actually, the big, over-eager baby. He was so big he stretched my cunt all over the place., and I felt pain again and stiffened.
"Nine inches, hodoya like that?" Tony chortled.
Damn him, I thought. Now I was getting it from two sides at once. I was lying on my side, the two men on theirs. What a sensation, a cock up my asshole and another up my cunt! I'd never felt anything like it before in my life.
With all the pain I'd felt, my whole body was tingling and oversensitive. But I was already grooving on the cock up my asshole, and now my cunt grew to accommodate Tony's huge harden as well.
I found my body moving softly to and fro with their motions. Maybe Tony was dumb, but some sure animal sense of his had him fitting in very well with Randy's thrusts.
Both of them would draw back from me at the same time, then their cocks would come charging in together. I'd breathe when they were both back, then, as they hit me, let go all the air in my body with a great "whoosh!".
Then I reached out and stilled Tony for a second. I was influencing them, I changed the rhythm. Now, as one cock hit my cunt, the one in my ass withdrew, then vice versa. I was continually buffeted to and fro now, with this new rhythm. I felt a curious sense of abandon, as though I were floating right on the edge of the sea, and being rocked by the waves as they came in, and lifted up by them again as they went out.
Tony was grunting and groaning constantly now. Randy, I could feel, was getting into a quick, tight, masturbatory motion. He started singing a little ditty to himself: "Randy Rutter, Randy Rutter, give it to her, Randy Rutter."
I threw back my arms and let them drive me where they would. I could feel the pressure growing inside myself. My movements, my fucking, was no longer a matter of choice, my hips were pumping for real now, and my breathing was coming more slowly and deeply.
Usually I feel an anxiety, a wondering if he will come too soon for me? When I'm sucking a cock, men do that, too, leaving me high and dry. This time, with two of them, I felt secure that I'd make it over the edge. And I was coming to the edge, leaving high ground and beginning to float through endless space.
"Randy Rutter, Randy Rurrr—'s gonna come, gonna come, gonna come."
I found myself humming his little ditty along with him, grooving on him, at the same time that I knew he was into a basically masturbatory thing. His hard, diamond drill was pumping into my ass fast and fiercely now. Tony's groans and Randy's singing were getting loud enough, so I thought they must be hearing them in the next room, but I was beyond caring what other people thought now.
"Blaaaah!" Tony went. His body was stiffened and his eyes staring.
My own body tightened into a vice and I stilled.
The hot gushes of Tony's come filled my cunt.
I got tenser and soared higher, then my first contraction came.
Randy's drill jammed way up my asshole and into my intestines. He was coming too, but the prick wouldn't let himself slow down and be vulnerable for a second. He kept pumping and coming, pushing Tony's and my relaxed bodies back and forth in an intense rhythm.
Then he slowed. We swayed back and forth into stillness.
I lay there hi peace.
Tony pulled out of me and flopped over onto his back, a huge, relaxed mound transported into oblivion.
Randy, too, entered into the peace. His hands wandered over my body, gently now, stroking my breasts and my belly. I was still ticklish and very responsive, and I jumped when his fingers grazed my lower belly.
That seemed to displease Randy. Pie got up in a bit of a huff, and began stomping around the bathroom. He tucked his limp meat back into his fly and zipped the opening shut. He paused by the mirror to brush his hair back into place with his fingers.
Then Randy gave me a piercing, devilish look. He went over to the door, threw it wide open with a slam, and passed through, leaving it wide open.
"She's in there, waiting for you, .go ahead!" I heard his voice saying from the next room.
I felt that I was in a bad dream, and I struggled to consciousness and activity.
"Tony, Tony!" I said urgently.
"Whaaa ... "? he asked.
"I need a cigarette. Would you get me one?"
He reached into his pocket and brought out some Camels.
"No, I only smoke filters. They're hi my purse in the next room. Get it for me?" I pleaded.
"Annnnh, o.k."
He lumbered to his feet and went out through the I leapt up after him and closed it quickly and silently, then locked it.
I threw on my dress and grabbed my shoes in my hand, leaving the white, silken puddle of my undies lying on the furry black rug.
I climbed up onto the toilet bowl and on top of the enamel water container ... I tried to force the window open but it seemed to be painted shut.
"Come on, let's go!" came the voices from the hallway.
"It's been years since I did this with the Egyptian Crowns.
"Geez ... a gang bang. I never been in on one."
"Hey, you slut! Open the fuckin' door!"
"Just a minute. I'm getting myself ready," I called back sweetly.
The noise of their banging covered the sudden loud opening of the window. The top part slid all the way down, flush with the bottom. I sat on it and swung over, putting my feet onto the sill outside.
The alley outside was quite dark after the well-lighted bathroom, but I could see the ground not ten feet below. I hung from the windows, then lowered myself down until just my fingers were digging into the sill. High drama, I thought, and well under control now.
I dropped lightly to the ground, landed on my feet,, and began walking to the street.
Inside I heard a loud crash. It must have been the door giving way. Loud muffled shouts of anger came out.
"Tony was all I needed. Forget it, you pigs!" I shouted out, hoping to put down Randy that way, and build up stupid Tony.
I felt pretty damn good as I strolled down Sleeker Street, my shoes in my hand, digging the balls of my foot into the rough, cool concrete.
I was a tough, wiry chick. I had outwitted them. The loss of my purse and a pair of undies meant nothing to me, and I'd probably be able to get them back from Sid in the next few days if I wanted to bother.
I'd experimented with fucking, gotten what I wanted (I still felt high from our triple climax), and gotten out, leaving those howling, piggish men to their own loneliness and lust. Let them satisfy it somewhere else, not at my expense.
I was learning. I felt I could stand up for myself pretty well now.
"Randy Rutter, Turning to butter,"
I bummed playfully to myself as I strode home.