Chapter 1
Dear Diary,
I was sitting at my desk daydreaming and sucking on a yellow-painted, wooden pencil that I used to absent-mindedly poke away at my lips. Suddenly a rough, bony finger forced its way in between my lips.
You know, I didn't even look up. I just sucked, I pretended the fleshy pad of his finger was cock. I slurped it deeper into my warm, moist orifice. I traced his fingernail with my tongue, then pushed up under the nail to see if I could force it back.
A real, alive, twitching prick pressed urgently into the soft flesh of my armpit through several layers of clothing. I wanted to turn and lure his cock into my mouth, then and there, despite the other girls all around me clattering away at their keypunch machines.
I dropped my head back to see my assailant. As I did so, I realized that my jaws had parted further and that my tongue had become a soft, moist worm lying submissively along the side of his finger.
"Richard!" I gasped.
"You need more than a piece of wood between those lovely lips of yours, baby."
His voice was low, hard, sneering. A flattop of reddish blond hair framed a tight, arrogant face. His conventional office dress of a white shirt, thin, grey sports jacket and a cheap, thin, dull black and blue striped tie was transformed into the sheath of a walking, horny harden. Richard had the reputation of being the office stud and a son-of-a-bitch, and I could see why.
"What do you want?"
His spear ground into my shoulder blade.
"Files on O'Malley Wire and Cable Company," was his reply.
I handed him the manila folder. He jerked them out of my fingers, wheeled, and was gone.
I spent the rest of the afternoon hitting the wrong keys and staring out the window.
When five o'clock came, the other girls picked up their things and passed through the door in groups of two and three. I didn't want to leave. Richard's hardon kept passing in a wave through my mind and into my mouth. With my left hand I held up papers and pretended to busy myself with them. The fingers of my right hand ripped through the hole in the pocket of my skirt, slid over my bare thigh, pushed under the elastic of my panties, and found the beginning of the slit in my furry mound. I pressed down on my engorged clit, then began a steady, intense circular motion, confident that the movement of my masturbation was hidden by the broad, metallic fortress of my desk.
"Working late, aren't you, Lois?" came a deep voice from the blind area just back of my head.
His voice was heavy with the sneer of a meaning. I knew he'd caught me. I cursed the silence of thick carpeting and the blush I felt creeping across my face. I pulled my ringer out of my pussy and turned to him.
"The work I'm doing now is because of you."
"Come on, I'll take you home."
Richard's thin lips hardly moved as he spoke, but I knew they'd feel good on my open, throbbing pussy. I felt my body trembling and I couldn't move.
He held out his hand to me. His first gentlemanly act with me. I took it gratefully and pulled myself up.
"Eighty-one June Street, Greenwich Village," I told the cabbie.
We began the cab ride in silence. I found myself avoiding his eyes and staring at the spurts and braking of the heavy sea of rush hour traffic all round me, Brightly painted cars were narrowly missing each other. His hand found the sensitive flesh of the upper part of my thigh. His touch was probing, insistent, sure of itself.
"Richard, I don't want you to fuck me."
Turning, I caught the lines of his face deepening into the beginning of anger.
"What I really want is to suck you off."
His tight face and hand relaxed and he chuckled.
"That's the kind of a broad I thought you were."
His ringers found the bottom of my belly and I quivered. His answer had been noncommittal, but I hoped we'd established an understanding.
I wanted to feel the pulsations of his tool in ray mouth so badly that I couldn't think any more.
Going upstairs to my apartment, the cleaver of his hand reached from behind to nudge the cheeks of my ass. I jumped and giggled.
The next thing I knew we were standing face to face in my bedroom.
Richard moved forward. His lips plastered themselves onto mine. A melting feeling washed over me, from my groin to my limbs. My mouth opened to him.
His strong arms came around me and I sank onto him. His lips grazed down the long sweep of my neck and found the valley above my collarbone. As they rested there, his tongue came out and began to explore me in a circular movement. My skin drew into a delicious tightness.
I held his back and his head.
"You're setting my whole body on fire, Richard. I love it."
His hot breath on my skin answered me.
I ran my tongue over my own lips. I felt his short hair, then his ear, and began to nuzzle at it. I sucked at his lobe, until the urge hit me, and I plunged my moist spear juicily into his waxy well. I tasted an intimate bitter sweetness. I knew I was getting to him by the groans he was making.
I felt his hands at the buttons of my blouse. The cotton material slid back and my shoulder was bare. His hands slid over my white skin to the fleshiness of the top of my chest.
"Richard, kiss me more," I implored him.
His tongue left a moist trail over my Adam's apple and the softness under my chin. He wandered over the surface of my parted lips, then moved into the wet cavern of my mouth. His tongue was a serpent, wriggling and squirming on its way over my teeth, the bridge of my mouth, and back to the edge of my throat.
I wanted to do him. Now. I started with the top buttons of his shirt. My fingertips appreciated the light hair of his chest and tickled his flat nipples into their tiny fullness.
The hard pressure of his cock pushed at the mound of my cunt. I fumbled at his fly in my haste to release him.
His rampant member sprang out, full and hard. I cupped it with my palm from underneath and began to stroke it, slowly, back and forth. His cock was long and slender, hot and hard. I found his veins with my fingertips. They were way out, bursting and throbbing. I traced their path back to the hairy, sweaty base of his lance.
"Lois, find the hole in the front of my prick."
I found it and pressed with my thumb. That turned him on more. His pelvis moved in little jerks as his cock slid through my palm. He was fucking my hand. I wondered if he was about to come all over my hand and arm.
I pulled back from him.
"Richard, I want to blow you so much. Would you let me do that?" I begged.
His eyes blinked back into focus and he stared at me through narrowed slits. His hair is so light that it's hard to see his lashes, and it gives his eyes this cold, unblinking reptilian look. He studied me, then nodded.
"I'd like that, Lois. Come on, suck my cock!"
"I will. Let's get these clothes off first."
He slipped off his shirt while I undid his belt buckle. I slid his pants down, and went down with them. His cock was right there, all bobbing and red before my eyes, but I wasn't quite ready to take it yet.
I gave him a light push, and he fell backwards onto the bed. I yanked his shoes off without bothering to untie them, then his socks, and finally his pants came over his feet so rapidly that I almost fell over backwards.
He sat before me on the .edge of the bed, bare, his elbows on his knees. I knelt, fully clothed, at the opening of the circle of his limbs. I sniffed shamelessly at the light, masculine aroma of slightly stale sweat.
His body was pale, lean, and wiry. Though he was bent over, only a thin fold of skin came out from the thin, muscular columns of his belly.
I held his cock in toy hand, inches from my eager mouth, and addressed it.
"You are my god and my religion. I worship you. This is my prayer."
At last! I was down on him. His cock had filled my mind for hours, and now it was name!
My tongue reached: out and flicked his red glans, once. He quivered. I slid my wet lips slowly over his round, red point. They went down into a slight depression, then spread out to encompass his flaring, tight corona and the pulsating, red vein that encircled it.
His balls hung down seductively from his hairy nest and I reached up to cup them with my hand. I jiggled them and even pulled lightly at them while I slid my lips up and down his shaft.
His hands reached around the back of my head. The insides of his thighs moved intimately in around the flesh of my cheeks.
"Oooooh, Lois," he gasped, "you're so good. I love to feel my cock in a warm, wet place. You're doing so much with your lips and your tongue."
My crotch was burning and tingling, and when I heard his praise, the juices started to flow between the already sopping lips of my pussy.
Now I found the little hanging fold of skin right behind the head of his cock. No man ever resisted it when I played with that, it has always been my secret turn-on button. I traced its outline with my tongue, flicked it about, then began to knead it heavily.
I was getting hotter and limper all the time, I was full of the delicious, swooning passivity that precedes my climax. I felt my own pelvis begin to gyrate with the same in and out motion I was using on his cock.
I sensed his stillness. He was stuck on his own plateau, without the usual in and out motions a man makes as they fuck my mouth while I suck them.
I became over-anxious, wanting to bring him along on my own dizzying journey. I grazed his shaft with my teeth, then began nibbling harder and harder up and down his length. I took his cock in my hand and placed his sensitive head back between my wisdom teeth. I began opening and closing on it, dying to increase his sensation in any way possible.
He took my head in his hands, detached it from his cock, and his intense eyes burned deeply into mine.
"Lois, I need you!"
He pulled me to my feet and began to strip me. His hands were like those of an experienced surgeon, speedy yet incisive. No wasted motion, no fumbling at my bra strap.
My white tits popped out and bounced before his eyes. He pinched one nipple, and I felt it tickle and jut out.
"Not a bad pair," he commented. "Shaped like a heavy cone that sags a bit in the middle, just enough to turn me on and to thrust that saucy, red nipple up in my face!"
He lowered his mouth onto one of my pert tips. I felt blood rush into my nipple, and the whole thing grew and stretched until I could feel it pulling all the way down in my stomach.
His mouth popped off my nipple—then clamped onto the other one.
"Oh, Richard," I blurted out, "that feels so good!"
He sucked harder, and his lovely, greedy, slurping noises filled my little room.
His hand moved up between my legs. I spread my thighs so that he could work his hand all the way up to my hot cunt. Soon he had my cunt in his hand and was rubbing the tender folds of skin that lay there.
His other hand unfastened my skirt. I jerked around crazily and playfully with my hips until my useless garment slipped down my legs to the floor. I hooked my thumb in my panties, slid them down a ways, then did another happy gyrating dance, rubbing my thighs together and bouncing and spreading the cheeks of my ass until my panties fell into a puddle of silk on the floor.
I was fully nude, now, and so was he. We faced each other across two feet of space, sizing each other up.
I climbed up onto the bed and jumped down onto the springs on my back. I jiggled and rocked slowly to a halt.
"Here I am, Richie!" I cried out playfully. "Come and get me! What's the matter, you shy?"
He came onto me wordlessly and covered me with his body.
"Richard," I dared. "I want you to suck my pussy!"
He frenched me long and deeply. I thought he was pretending not to hear me, or that he was another one of those fucked up men who think it's dirty to eat twat.
Then his mouth began a slow descent over the soft curves of my body. He tongue trailed over the creamy smoothness of my tits, across my ribs, and over the slight outward curve of my tummy. His tongue pressed down into the soft flesh of my lower belly, then up onto the first tendrils of my hairy mound. My precious slit was dying to feel his wet spear.
"Richard, suck me, suck me!" I gasped.
I writhed around on the bed. I felt his hot breath panting between my thighs.
My ass lifted off the bed. I wanted his tongue so badly that I walked myself backwards and up into his mouth.
I lost track of the feel of his tongue. Pure tension filled me. Had he withdrawn? Was I being so forward that I'd scared him away?
Then ... a wet, squirmy animal went into the sensitive walls of my slit. It penetrated deeply and thoroughly into all the secret spots hi my cunt.
My entire body burned with fire. I threw my legs open so that he could have utterly complete access to my cunt.
"Richard! This is so beautiful. No one's ever eaten me out before!" I confided in him.
I wriggled around on the bed so that I could touch him. He shifted his thighs, and his hot, twitching prick fell into my hand.
I lowered my head and slowly took the full head of his cock into my mouth. His bitter salt taste soon washed away, and I began soaring higher and higher with his trembling meat between my lips.
I was in heaven, and climbing higher. If I could keep sucking him, I knew I would come soon. My lips always begin to quiver just before my orgasm, and now they were pitching about like the sea on the verge of a hurricane.
Suddenly his prick jerked out of my mouth.
My cunt became cold, wet, deserted, and empty.
He was shifting his .body around in the bed. Now he knelt in the open "V" of my spread legs.
"I'm going to fuck you now, Lois!" he told me.
His eyes .were narrow pinpoints of lust and his jaw was set. I felt a sudden insertion between the lips of my pussy, then he thrust his entire weight onto me and deep into me.
I closed my eyes and my body tensed. I don't want this! I screamed to myself, but it was too late. Always this! They play with my mouth for a little while, then they rape me. Sometimes, when I'm lucky, we suck each other off all the way first, but they always end up fucking me.
Sadly, I lifted my ass to meet his thrust. He slid through my sopping cunt easily and buried his fucking shaft right up on the side of my womb.
I kind of liked it, but it wasn't what I had in mind.
I lay back and absorbed the full weight of his thrusts. I tried to get back in the spirit of things by licking and biting at his neck.
Now he pumped and me faster and faster. His pelvis crashed into the lips of my pussy with each stroke. Each tune the bed shook and he trembled.
I tried to kiss him on his lips but he pulled away from me and buried his head in my shoulder.
His cock pounded into me like a piston, yet I caught myself dreaming. This just wasn't making it for me. Maybe after he's come, he'll suck me off, I hoped.
He put his hands under my ass, cupped the cheeks of my buttocks, and lifted me off the bed. Onto his prick farther. In and out. Faster and faster.
"Oh, fuck me, doll, fuck me!" he shouted.
His nails dug sharp ruts in my ass.
"I'm coming!" he yelled.
He thrust brutally into me—and stopped. He paused there, suspended, still.
I felt come spurt into me and cover the walls of my pussy. He shot again and again. I counted eleven times. By the end of it, drops were overflowing into the crevice of my buttocks and down onto my thighs.
He collapsed onto my body. My rib cage began to groan under his weight, while he seemed to have drifted off into unconsciousness.
Finally I pushed him off me, sat up, and lit a cigarette.
"Light one for me, too, baby?" he asked sleepily.
He stared up at his own smoke as though I weren't even in the room.
"What time is it?" he finally asked in a business-like tone.
"Almost nine."
"Shit, honey. I've got to go somewhere. I'd love to spend the night with you, but I've got an appointment," he repeated guiltily. "In fact, I'm late now."
His buckle jingled as he pulled up his pants.
"Maybe we can spend some more time together another time," he said.
I nodded, just in case he was looking at me.
I felt awful and sad. I never wanted to go to bed with another man as long as I lived.
As the door closed I burst into tears. I huddled into a ball around the wet spot of his come on the sheets and cried myself to sleep.
How many more times must I endure this? If it's for the rest of my life, I think I'll kill myself first. That's why I've started this diary, to see if I can discover a way to go on having sex with my mouth and still find a way to get my share of happiness in this world.
How did I get this way.
Some philosopher said that we're all polymorphous perverse in our childhood. That means we like any kind of sex we can get. Only later do we go off into our own particular form of perversion, whether it's fucking or analism or cunt-lapping or cocksucking ...
A cocksucker. That's what I am to the straight world. An oralist. A fellatrice. A cunnilinctrice.
"You always want to hug and kiss!" That's what my father would always say. Maybe if I examine some of the sexual high spots in my life to date, I'll get a better idea of how I came to specialize in cocksucking.
I remember a golden age, before I knew any shame or bad names for myself. I'd crawl up into Daddy's or Grandpa's lap, and love them up all I wanted. I'd run my fingers over their cheeks and bury my lips in their scratchy necks. I'd wriggle and squirm all over the place on their broad, denim laps, and I could swear I'd feel something hard pressing back up at me, but -maybe that's just my imagination now that I've gotten older. I'd grab their big, rough hands and kiss and gnaw at them, kind of like a little kitten. I was about three then, but it's that sort of thing I still love most of all, for a man to turn his body over to me completely to do whatever I want with it, for him to lay back and let me lick and nibble at him from his toes to his cock to his head.
Then they'd get embarrassed and start telling me I was too old for that now, or that it was time for supper.
Tommy and I discovered each other around the time I went to first grade. I guess you could call it a bathtub romance, because that was the only place we ever did anything together. Tommy was sandy-haired arid skinny and a year older than me. He was also my brother. We had this funny ritual that we kept doing over and over again.
Mom always had us take baths together before supper, then she'd leave us up there alone. We'd splash around a lot and push our little blue and white plastic boats around each other's naked bodies. Then:
"Pass the soap over here,"' he'd say.
I'd pick it up and drop it—right between his legs— his white little legs sticking out of the dirty bathwater. I'd go fishing for it, and I usually ended up with a hard little cock in my mouth. His cock was tiny, but it was as hard as a nail. He'd lean back with his arms around the curve of the bathtub, and I'd keep kissing him there. Making sure he was clean, that was what we called it. I'd sprawl out on my side, my cheek cradled on his thigh, my hand playing with his wrinkled little sack as the late afternoon sun fell over us through the low bathroom window.
"Suppertime, kids," Mom would call. Tommy would push me away roughly, get up, and start drying himself off. Damn, he reminds me of Richard, using me then moving on. Meanwhile, I'd be lying in the tub, wondering why he was getting up and still wanting more. He tried kissing me down there once, but he said he didn't like the way I smelled. He never came, but what can you expect with a six year old kid anyway? I don't remember why we stopped ...
High school started out well when I won the English prize for a short story about a vampire.
One spring afternoon I got out of study hall and went wandering restlessly through the corridors in the basement. I opened a grey door and found a janitor's closet with a sink and dirty mops. Above them, daylight shone through a tiny, soaped over window. When I stood up on a blue metal drum of cleaning fluid, I saw three naked boys in a large brightly-lit, yellow shower room.
Bobby Maloney was one of them! He stood tall, thin, and graceful, the proud end on the football team.
He was gesturing and laughing with the others through a fine spray of water. A honey-colored cowlick stood up through his wet hair. His face below was handsome yet gaunt, and his chest and stomach were slender but with muscles sharply etched.
His large hand had just finished soaping his belly -and now it was sliding down ... it grasped his fine, red-tipped pecker! He spread suds all through his pubic fur, around his balls, and onto his long, curved prick. Now his fingers wrapped around his lovely cock and were sliding up and down it, just the way Tommy had the times I'd spied on him when he was jerking off. The soap was all around his genitals now, and I saw his cock lifting slowly and magnificently out of this great mass of sticky stuff that might have been white come all over him. He had a harden! I couldn't understand why the other boys weren't throwing themselves at his feet, begging to be allowed to wrap their mouths and lips all around that splendid, red lollipop of Bobby's.
I followed him to his locker the next morning, handed him a note, and ran. It said:
Dear Bobby,
I love you. Please take me out.
Lois
That night he phoned me, and Friday he came to my house to pick me up. He was so handsome, with his hair all slicked down and wearing a red shut and sitting casually behind the wheel of his father's Ford. I was nervous as hell. I kept looking straight ahead or over at the bulge in his pants. He turned to me.
"Peacock and the Pussycat's playing at the Savoy drive-in. Want to go there?"
"Sure, that sounds o.k."
Yes, yes, yes, I was saying inside myself to him, yes. And yes was what I said to him when his arm wrapped around me after we got settled in a far comer of the drive-in.
"Lois," he said, nuzzling the skin behind my ear, "I don't know why I never noticed you before."
His lips went down onto my neck. He sucked, and sucked more. I knew he was putting hickies on me, and I loved it and felt proud of them and wanted to show them off. I kept squirming closer to him in the seat and giggling.
I took his hand and brought it down onto the front of my body. His touch was light, ticklish, teasing. I wanted more. I moved my tit up into his hand, and his fingers closed around it. My nipples rose and my body was singing.
"Bobby!" I breathed, and put my hand over his. To my surprise, I felt his body stiffen.
"Lois," he groaned, "don't make me stop now."
"Oh, I won't, I promise you. I just wanted to feel you feeling me. I ... "
I'd been touched by his shyness—but now I was shy too. I didn't know if I dared to say any more.
"Tell me, Lois. What is it?"
His voice was pleading. He really wanted to know.
"I ... I saw you in the shower room, Bobby. I watched you naked and I saw you touching yourself. I want to touch you, too."
He held my hand and kissed it, then he put it down on his fly. I discovered his hardness, and I was able to trace that funny curve of his cock that I'd seen in the shower.
He opened his fly. I reached in and held his erect cock in my hand. I sat very still, I didn't know what to do.
"Do you like to touch me there, Lois?"
"Yes, I do."
"Would you kiss me there?"
"I don't know. I'm afraid. You won't like me if I do."
"Yes I will. That's what I want you to do. Come on, let's get in the back seat where no one will see us."
He went over without waiting for an answer, and I tumbled after him. I came down with my head on his lap, and before my feet got all the way down, he'd guided my head to his cock. I held the stem in my hand and looked at it.
Then I kissed the very tip. I found it warm, and it tasted nice and felt good. I kissed it some more.
"Bobby, I like it. Yours is the very first cock I ever kissed, and I'm glad it's you. I don't know if I should do it any more."
"Go on, Lois. I like it. I love you. Just a little bit more? Come on!"
I heard the urgency in his voice and it released me. I went down on him full force now. I sucked his cock all the way into my mouth, and went up and down the whole length carefully so that I didn't miss an inch Tommy, my brother, had had such a tiny one next to this!
"Oh, Bobby, I want to do everything with you!" I told him. "I want to throw myself on you and suck you and swallow you and chew you!" And pull your cock off and take it home with me and have it forever, I added to myself, but I thought I shouldn't tell him that.
He reached down and touched himself right where his cock touched my lips. He started stroking himself there. That excited me even more, feeling his excitement and his vibrating cock and stroking hand all in my mouth. His movements were slow and regular and sensuous, as though he were really caressing and loving his shaft as he moved over it.
Then I became aware of Bobby's hand. He passed over the insides of my thighs and his fingers began scratching at my pussy. This annoyed me. Somehow it didn't seem right, and I had none of those same good feelings from it that I had right now with his throbbing, red lollipop between my lips. He was just plain distracting me from my real joy which was making the juices flow in my cunt.
"Hey! What's this?"
"Yeow! Bobby, stop!"
He was touching me in a new place, one that just about made me jump through the roof of the car. I threw his hand away roughly, then touched the spot it had just left, right at the top of the wide furrow of my pussy. I found a round, little nubbin there, standing up straight and full out of my cunt.
"So that's where my clit is. Thanks for helping me find it, Bobby. I hurt when you touch it, so please don't touch me there any more."
I felt him withdraw, and I knew I must have hurt his feelings. We'd been getting along so well I thought he'd understand what I was asking of him.
I was getting off on slurping up his cock, and I wanted to give that my full attention. I had his red glans solidly between my lips, and I kept sucking it and tonguing it for all I was worth. His shaft kept moving back and forth in my mouth as he jerked it off.
"Would you play with my balls at least, Lois?" he asked me grumpily.
I was more than ready to comply. I sucked them into my mouth, hair, wrinkled skin and all. I jiggled them and nibbled at them, and bit down slightly at one alive egg-shaped teste to let him know I was feeling it and admiring it, but I made sure not to bite hard enough to hurt him.
I went down further to explore more. Below the loose skin of his balls I found a thin, hard muscle that -seemed like a continuation of his cock. I nibbled at that too, feeling my desires rising boundlessly and insatiably.
"Oh, Lois, your mouth feels so good on me. Go on, eat me all over!"
"I will, baby, I will. I want all of you I can get," I reassured him.
My tongue lapped and lathed its way through a quite hairy area. My senses were more alive now than they had ever been before. Now my nose was assaulted with a new, funky, sickly-sweet odor. I got more excited and continued on. I came to a wrinkled little hole in his skin, surrounded by broad cliffs of flesh on either side.
"Oh my God, Lois, that's my asshole!"
I plunged into it with my wet lance, twisted and turning in every way that I could. His hands spread his buttocks out further to deepen my penetration, and I got my tongue in almost all the way up to its roots, Then I went back to his crevice and began lapping away at it like a starving kitten with a bowl of cream.
He grabbed my head in his hands and positioned it back at his cock. The swollen, purple plum of his tip was so full of blood I thought it would burst. He shoved his way forcefully hi between my lips and began moving back and forth.
I detached my mouth just long enough to speak to him.
"You want to fuck me in the mouth, Bobby? Come ahead! Do it, baby, do it! Let yourself go all the way! I can take it. I love it!"
His pelvis began moving faster and faster. His spear choked my throat so completely I began to gag. Back went his cock, then in again, so deeply I was afraid he'd tear my throat apart.
I was aroused in every cell of my body. My cunt was tingling and buzzing violently. Blood rushed into my lips, mouth, and tongue, and my fast steady pulsations were matching the deep, ever faster thrusts of his cock.
I became aware of an utterly new feeling in my body: my guts seemed to be gathering up higher and higher into my stomach, and even up into my lungs.
"Lois! Take me! I'm almost there!"
So was I! I was soaring up into the skies, I was a planet circling the sun, revolving at a dizzying speed.
"Bobby, fuck me in the mouth just as hard as you can!" I shouted out hi a cock-choked gurgle.
His fat cock paused right in the back of my throat.
Then he shot! Hot sticky cum! Jizm! Sperm! Babies!
Again and again the hot, burning fluid came and filled my mouth, My first taste of come! I started to drink it in, in all its salty bitter sweetness.
Suddenly, I was thrown back as if by a giant hand. The explosion came from with the depths of my own being, as I realized later.
My body arched further back, as far as it could go, a taut bow ready to snap.
My body lessened at the moment my contractions came in my cunt. They began as Bobby's final spurts came into my mouth.
I came down slowly as my contractions lessened.
I nestled hi between his legs. I wanted to lie there, surrounded by the protecting warmth of his flesh, and maybe drift off into a light sleep.
My first orgasm had just happened. I wanted to relax and drink in the lovely vibrations that still filled my body ...
"Lois. Let me up!"
Bobby was shaking me.
I came up on my knees, ready to kiss him and bury my head between his neck and shoulder.
As soon as my weight was off him, he pulled roughly out from under me, pushed open the back door of the car, and got out. He stood tall and alone under the cold night sky. The breeze flowed around him and over and into me as I lay there in a crumpled little form on the seat.
I pulled myself together and went out and stood beside him. I put my hand on his crossed arm. "Is something wrong, Bobby?"
"Nothing. It's time to go home, that's all."
He did walk me to my front door, but when I stood up on my toes to kiss him good night, he shied away as though my mouth were dirty.
Now that I've been in and out of many beds, I can guess what had happened. When I threw his hand off my twat, he was deeply hurt, couldn't express it, and stayed with me just long enough to come.
But I was innocent then, and what I went through was sheer hell. I had opened myself fully to him, only to discover that he considered me a piece of shit. I kept opening, then getting blasted over and over again in my sleep that night.
Then came Monday morning at school.
"Hey, Miss Blow Job's here!"
"Spare a suck?"
That was from the boys standing around the corridor as I walked in. The girls picked up on it later, and they were the worst.
"You little whore!"
"Pssst. Hey. Lois Lips. Lois Lips, Lois Lips!"
These whispers and jeers followed me everywhere from math class to the cafeteria where I'd be eating my tuna fish sandwich by myself. One time I got it from a pew as I walked down the aisle in church one Sunday with my parents.
Man, was I screwed up for the next few years. When you get that kind of a reputation in a small midwestern town, you've had it. You don't even know there's a world outside it, you can only hope.
I entered computer training school two days after I graduated high school, and when I finished there I took the first job I could hack in New York City.
I've been here six months already, and I'm still operating on the belief that I'll be able to find people like myself here, people who can bathe in the delights of giving and taking oral love without hypocrisy or guilt. I peer into the faces of all the attractive men I pass. I look for full-blooded, red lips, sensitive lips, lips as hungry as my own.