Chapter 2
"You're such a heavy chick," Joanie said to me. She handed back my diary. She'd just read everything that I wrote up to this point.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you've been through a lot of pain and suffering in your life so far, right?"
I nodded.
"Now it seems like that's all you can see, your own pain. In other words, you bitch a lot, baby." She let out a clear, tinkling laugh, drew me to her, and nuzzled my cheek.
She was right. She's really had a profound effect on me in a lot of ways since we met. These were the circumstances:
Remember Richard? After he walked out on me, I began to mope around a lot. I threw myself into the routine at the office and the oblivion of punching keys as though it were a warm quilt. When I did pass Richard in the halls, I looked away from his eyes and never answered any of the little things he said to me.
One afternoon, cold was getting in under my warm I went into the ladies' room to brood. I sprawled out on the sofa and lit a cigarette. I'd given up hope of finding anyone, never mind whether they were into sex with their mouths or not.
The door of one of the Johns banged shut. I looked up, hoping it wasn't one of my supervisors.
A big, blonde girl, awkward but soft, stood there looking at me. Her lids were widely parted to reveal exciting, blue-green eyes.
"Hi!" said Joanie brightly.
I grunted back in a non-descript way.
"What's the matter, kid? You sound down."
"Yeah, sort of. I guess I am." I was fencing with her. I'd been taught you didn't tell your troubles to strangers, and J hardly knew Joanie at that point.
"What's the trouble, men?" She plunged right in.
"What else?"
We both laughed.
"What's the problem, too many? No one"
"No. No, nothing like that"
"Well, what is it then?"
"I don't have anyone. And when I do find someone, I don't get the right kind."
"Of sex or men?"
"Sex."
Her bright, joking air fell away. She sat down beside me.
"Anything the two of us could talk about?"
I nodded hopefully.
"How about if we have a drink after work? I know a little bar near here that usually isn't very crowded."
"That sounds nice. I'll meet you at your desk just after five."
"Fine."
She gave me a bright smile that I couldn't read, then patted my shoulder.
"See you later," she whispered, and got up and left the room.
I squashed out .my cigarette with my shoe. I felt much better, just having someone to talk to.
I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Joanie and anticipating finishing our conversation. I couldn't think of anyone else in all of New York City who had ever cared whether I was down or not. Maybe we'd become good friends. I really needed that just then.
When I finished my work I just sat back arid felt myself glowing. When I watched the other people leaving the office, I didn't think any of them could even understand what my problem was, to say nothing of caring.
The second hand of the big wall clock had just jumped a whole minute ahead to three minutes after five when Joanie appeared, dressed in her coat and ready to go.
Joanie had made a good choice in picking a bar. Besides a few commuters clustered around the bartender, there was no one else in the place. Still, I led her to a little table in the corner. I didn't want anyone overhearing what I had to say.
Joanie sat back and lit a cigarette. I like the way her cheeks hollowed out as she drew the smoke into her lungs, and then, as she exhaled, her lips went into a composed pucker. I was fascinated watching her, but then I went ahead and spoke.
"Did your day go well?"
I felt shy.
"Oh, come on, Lois. That isn't what we came here to talk about."
She was right, of course. I was both frightened and excited at her bluntness at getting to the point.
Just then our drinks came, and I started to sip mine. The coolness of the glass felt good against my mouth.
"Now," said Joanie as she moved closer to me, "just what is the problem?"
My eyes sought refuge in the red, wall-to-wall carpeting.
"I don't really know what it is, but sometimes I think there's something really wrong with me."
I peeked up at her face. She didn't have a strange expression or anything like that, but somehow I thought that she already knew what I was going to say.
"When I'm out with a guy and he makes a pass at me and We start kissing and holding each other, I like it, I like it a lot. If he takes off my clothes and starts rabbing me and kissing me all over my naked body, I like that, too, and I do the same things with him. I mean, everything's fine as long as I'm kissing him or he's kissing me."
I stopped. I'd just blurted out a lot, and now my nervousness was coming back.
"But ... " Joanie prompted.
"Well, when he sticks his cock in me and starts going up and down in me, I lose interest. Sometimes it Isn't bad if we can keep on kissing each other ... "
My voice trailed off, I wondered if Joanie understood.
"So you dig action with your mouth," she said. "What's wrong with that?"
"The men I've been going out with don't, that's the problem."
"Well, some men are really hung up. Only cuddle and kiss a girl to get what they want, a screw, another feather in their cap." I thought of Richard and nodded enthusiastically.
"I bet an attractive girl like you has to put up with a lot more of that shit than someone like me."
I watched Joanie as she spoke. I wondered why she was running herself down that way. I was finding her very attractive.
"I think you're beautiful. There's a softness about you that I feel I can just bathe in."
I blushed, hearing myself say that. I knew I'd been smiling warmly at her as I spoke, too.
She smiled back at me hesitantly, then looked away. "Thanks," she said. She drifted off into some world of her own, then spoke again in a deliberate way.
"I find a lot of men don't give me what I want either. They just seem to be out for themselves, and couldn't give less of a damn about me."
She paused and lit another cigarette.
"In fact, I've just about given up hope of finding a man who will please me."
I caught a funny catch in her voice.
"Your life must not be very romantic then," I said, feeling sad for her. "What do you do when you want sex, masturbate?"
"Well, I still date men occasionally, but I've grown to prefer women."
At first her statement didn't sink in. I watched the foam build up, then overflow in a beer the bartender was pouring.
Then I became shocked. I didn't think there was anything wrong with having sex that way if that's the way you wanted it, but—to be sitting in a bar across the table from one of those girls that I'd only read about before ... I started to get indignant, and then I realized that I was getting excited. I wanted to ask Joanie a lot of questions, but I was afraid to.
"Have you ever made it with another woman?" she asked me in her direct way.
I felt myself shying away.
I shook my head no and retreated into my drink.
"If I were you, I'd try it," she persisted. "You might like it a lot better than just getting fucked all the time."
I just nodded dumbly. I felt lost. Part of me was gorging forth and saying try it, try it, and that scared me.
"If you'd like, we could make it together," Joanie suggested.
More shock passed through my body. I did like her, and I liked the direct way she asked me, with no beating around the bush.
Joanie reached across the table and ran her hand over the back of mine lightly and warmly.
"I've been having fantasies about going to bed with you for weeks," she whispered.
I blushed and melted.
"We could go to my place," she offered.
I just sat there. I knew I wanted her, but I wasn't sure that I was ready to go through with it.
"I mean, we could go to my place and be with each other and whatever happens happens.
I put my head in my hands. I was scared but willing. I wanted her to make the decision.
She held my hand now. "Come on, Lois. Let's try it. We can stop any time you say you've had enough."
I returned her clasp and raised my eyes to hers. A river was flowing between us. Gingerly I stood up in assent. We were on our way. I found out that she lived near me, and somehow that made me feel more at ease.
She opened the door to her apartment and I went in. I liked the white walls and spaciousness, and a few strategically placed, large green plants gave me a sense of Joanie's warmth.
She brought us both drinks.
As I sipped, I began to loosen up. I found myself describing all the things I'd like to try out with my mouth. She listened attentively for a while, then stood up. She smiled, and her eyes glowed into mine. "Would you like to do some of those with me?" she asked.
I knew the time had come. I couldn't stall any longer.
I stood up and followed her into the bedroom.
She turned and touched me lightly on the arm. She brought her lips up close to mine. I reached out and grazed .them with my fingertips. I kept going to the corner of her mouth, down the light line there to her jawline where I found some strands of her hair to play with. I moved my cheek next to hers and breathed in her lovely body smell.
"Kiss me!" she asked in what was simultaneously a demand and a plea.
I moved across her cheek and gently placed my lips on hers. They were so warm. They opened slightly and I moved in more intimately.
Her tongue came out and moistly explored the line of my lips.
Unconsciously, my own lips opened to her.
I felt the warmth of her tongue invade my mouth.
"Oh, Joanie, I feel so delicious," I sighed through our joined lips.
I opened my lips wider, and delighted in feeling hers inside my own.
Our tongues greeted each other joyously, and began a frolic through the inside of our mouths. We hooked tongues, and pulled on each other like two candy canes.
I closed my lips around her outstretched tongue, and chewed on it through my lips.
"Lois," Joanie breathed. "I'm going to start taking off your dress now. I'm going to pull down your zipper."
She did. The zipper of my dress came down in one fell swoop. The dress slid off my shoulders, and only my boobs held it up.
She bent her head and kissed my shoulder. She nuzzled her way up the shoulder and along my neck to the base of my ear, around the back of my neck, then started back down again, slowly, peacefully, appreciatively.
I felt my nipples rise in response to her kisses.
I wanted to see if her tits were doing the same thing. I wanted to look at them and play with them with my hands and kiss them all over.
I pressed closer to her and put my arms around her. I breathed in the slight, sweat smell of her arousal.
I found her zipper, and brought in down easily. I plunged my hand in along her back.
"Oh, God, Joanie, you feel so good!" I told her. "Your skin is smooth and soft." I felt her shoulder blades and her spine and the hollow right over her ass.
I found myself whimpering with pleasure. I buried my face in her neck, and held her as close as I could. I tugged at the sleeves of her dress. She hunched her shoulders and the material slid off them.
I worked my hand in between our bodies. I found her vast, fleshy mound and closed my hand around it. I squeezed her tit and kneaded it and rubbed it back all over her chest I felt her nipples getting big and hard, and I began rubbing them back and forth between my fingers.
"Oh, baby!" I cried and planted wet, sloshy kisses all over her cheek and neck. I was leaning on her and rubbing all over her body with mine.
"Joanie" I gasped, "I want all of you I can get. I haven't seen you yet. I want to see all of you—naked!"
I pushed myself back from her shoulders. Her dress was down to her waist, and she wore no bra. She stood there proudly, letting me admire her large, firm, fleshy tits.
"You want to see the rest of me, Lois? Here!"
She pulled at her dress, and the whole thing fell to the floor. She stepped out of her panties and stood there, fully bare before me.
Her belly came out into a slight mound above full, nicely shaped hips and thighs. A light trail of hair ran down her belly and into her furry mound. She was a fall, statuesque, proud, beautiful woman.
I just stood there and gaped in amazement and delight. I felt a light wave of shyness pass over me again. She was a woman, and I was a little girl.
"Joanie," I said with difficulty, "this is the first time I've seen a woman's body hi years. You're so tender and so round."
Tears were coming to my eyes. I hurt at the sight of her.
"Baby," she said softly, and came to me. She pulled say head to her bare chest and held me there.
We were still together. She was in no hurry. She wanted my feelings as well as my body. She was giving me so much, I wanted to give her something too.
I pulled back from her.
"Joanie, I want you to have me. Would you take off my clothes?"
Her hands moved under my loose dress and worked it down slowly and lightly until it slipped to the floor. She undid my bra and let it fall. She knelt down and brought my panties down over my hips.
Her head came into the softness of my belly. She wrapped her arm around my buttocks and hugged me.
Then she came up slowly and kissed her way up my belly and over each of my ribs.
Her mouth closed over one of my nipples. She sucked it back, and my nipple rose and followed her lips back.
She turned to the other one and ran her tongue in a full circle around the aureole. Her moist touch brought my other nipple out.
"Ahhhh ... " I groaned.
I was in ecstasy, and I was scared. I was more responsive to her touch than I had ever been in my lips and she was a woman.
I disengaged myself from her and went to the bed. I lay back. My arms went behind my head and brought my breasts up. My legs were parted widely. I was fully open to her.
She stood and looked at me, her eyes swimming.
My pelvis began a slow gyration, a shameless, open expression of my need for her.
I slid my hand over my aroused nipples and my soft belly to my furry mound. I found my clit and rubbed it.
"Joanie, I want your lips on me. I want you to eat me, Joanie!"
She knew.
She sat on the side of the bed by me. Her head dropped to my raised knee, and she kissed her way slowly along the inside of my thigh.
She nuzzled my hand away with her mouth. Her lips came over my clitoris, and she sucked it in to her tongue.
I gasped and shook. My pelvis rose higher and higher into her mouth.
My hands went out to her ass. I pulled her over in the bed so that I could get into the softness of her thighs, too. Her knees opened to my mouth, then her thighs wrapped themselves in all their soft, full flesh around my cheeks. We were blended together into a perfect unit of flesh, torso to inverted torso, with only our feet and ankles not touching some part of the other's body.
Her soft, moist tongue lay at the entrance to my pussy. Slowly, it worked its way in, over my engorged labia, into the sensitive tunnel inside. I could feel my juices blend with her saliva.
Now I had what I had always wanted, love with gentle, enclosing lips and a soft, respectful, exploring tongue. Next to her touch, the male organ of love seemed not natural, and even brutal.
I burrowed into her cunt. As I reached in between her furry lips with my tongue, I felt enclosed by her hair and her deep musk. The aroma was heady. As I went into this forbidden island, I felt strangely alive and free. Were other women's cunts placed off bounds to me because I might never want to return from this swooning delirium?
Beyond the musk and the hair I reached honey. I lapped it from the soft bumps on the sides of her cunt, and drew it into my mouth.
She stayed at my clit. Her lapping became steady and insistent.
I went to hers. She jumped. The ripples of passion flowed all through her soft flesh. Instead of dying out, the waves mounted.
Her trembling became mine. We were flowing together, one unit of vibrant femininity, pulsating faster and faster in rising excitement. I thought I would burst.
Her thighs clamped onto my head. Our fuck movements rocked each other all over the bed as our softness was transformed into an all-out attack on each other's twats.
Her clit swelled up bigger and bigger in my mouth as I licked it insatiably.
I groaned from somewhere deep within my being, and Joanie moaned back from beneath me.
Her wet tongue drove into my asshole and sent me into a new ecstasy of shivering. No part of me was safe from her relentless licking and sucking.
I ground my middle finger all the way up into her asshole. My thumb found her fuckhole. I moved my two fingers together, in and out of her two most intimate holes. When both my fingers were inside, I could rub them back and forth together through the thin, sensitive membrane that separated her asshole from her cunt.
My ass began to buck off the bed, fire coursed through my body, her feet beat on my back, and I picked up on the pounding of her pelvis and intensified it, throwing her hips all over the bed.
I was there. My motions slowed and she stopped her tattoo, but her licking got rougher and even faster.
My whole body drew tight as a wire.
Everything started to rise. My stomach drew up inside me. I had lost control. I went higher and higher, I was going to burst, I did, I was weightless, without control, suspended in space.
"Now!" I breathed into the juicy, hairy flesh of her cunt.
My cunt leapt forward hi its first pulsation. I felt her gasp, then I pulsated more and more right onto her receiving, wet tongue.
As my pulsations weakened, her tongue pulled out of "Me!" she cried. "Finish me, Finish me!"
I jammed two more fingers up her asshole, then bit her entire furry cunt.
My bite sent her over. Her body grabbed mine in a grip of iron, then she went into the same suspended state I was still into.
I burrowed my face into her cunt to get the full impact of her spasms.
I felt that her spasms were mine, I had done so much to cause her delight and ecstasy.
Moments later, Joanie wormed her way up beside me. Her face was totally satiated, there was no tension left, just love.
I smelled my own juices all over her face. I plucked a few of my pubic hairs off her lips and dried her face with the sheet. Her own long, blonde hair was all over her face and I smoothed that back.
She let herself collapse back on the bed. I put my thigh over between hers and, with my hand around her neck, settled into the warm flesh of the crook of her arm.