Chapter 3
I don't know who I am any more. I don't know where my self begins or ends.
I am open, too open, a ready prey for anyone. Will I ever again be able to say "No!" to anyone—even to myself?
Thanks to Joanie, I'm a lesbian now. What other potentialities are hidden in me? A murderess? A robot? A whore?
I didn't have to worry about any of this stuff in the small town where I grew up. Now, all I know about myself is that I'm not straight, I'm not like everyone else. I'm a mouth freak.
About the only normal thing I have to hold onto in my life is, my daily routine at work. Tapping away at my computer keys, I find my own rhythm and soar off on a streaming cloud of oblivion. Even now, as I write this, I see that my favorite me is nobody.
No one bothers me at work. Richard, Mr. Super-cock, has been passing by me with a curt nod ever since the time he fucked me. I've felt shy towards Joanie in the two weeks since we got together. We have coffee together during breaks sometimes and I can see desire in her blue-green eyes, but she lets things be and we generally stick to small talk.
Mr. Murtagh and Darlene are the only other people I even speak to at work. Murtagh, the boss, is a nondescript, round little man with a bald pate, glasses, and suits so bland they seem to disappear into the grey New York air. He draws me aside sometimes to comment on my work. I think he's hot for me, but he doesn't seem to be able to get up the nerve to proposition me, which is fine. As for Darlene, I never told her about my mouth thing, and we don't have anything to say to each other any more. I don't know what I ever saw in her.
When it's time to leave, I usually walk through the streets for hours without knowing what I'm seeing. I sit and smoke for hours on park benches or at my front window until I stumble off to my bed to sleep.
Weekends are different though. I go out and find other people, men that is, to share my oblivion with. Cocks fill up my mouth better than cunts do.
Saturday morning was a dream: soft, hazy, warm, New York City at its best in early June. I got up early, cleaned my house, and took the bus uptown to Central Park.
I found the park green, inviting, and thoroughly nice.
I wore a peasant blouse and a short yellow skirt. The spring breezes flowed through my hair, billowed out my blouse and skirt, and lightly caressed the hairs of my pussy through my panties.
I was in the middle of nature and alive! My whole body was responding to the touch of spring. I was soft and melting in the gentle air.
I followed the paths in and out through the heavy granite rocks. Finally, I came to the pond, my favorite spot. I sat on a rock and watched the peaceful ebb and flow of the water.
People passed by behind me, but it didn't matter. I let the warm sun play over my body. Underneath me, the rock was still cold and hard on my inner thighs and pussy, but that was fine, too. Maybe the coldness would delay my period from coming, and I'd be able to stay joyous and relaxed the way I was. Horny, too.
I followed the movement of the waves from my shore to the other side.
A tall, dark, male figure was standing there, seeming to stare straight at me.
He looked awfully good from across the pond. Poetic, like in a dream. Tight jeans and a dark sweater with the sleeves rolled up emphasized the long, lanky nature of his body. His long, dark hair blew out in loose waves from his head.
He started to walk along the edge of the pond. "If you want to leave, you'd better go now," was what his last look said to me.
I drew my knees up under my chin and clasped my hands around my shins. I wasn't moving.
He stooped over to catch a ball and toss it back to some kids, then kept on coming without even breaking stride. I loved the way he walked, with a back and forth swaying of his entire body. He possessed the easy grace and energy of of the big cats I'd seen in the zoo. Would he move that way in bed, too, as his hips moved his cock in and out of my mouth?
He kept coming and coming. The bulge in his jeans swayed too as he walked. Now he was only ten feet away. We were face to face.
He was damned good looking. His face was ragged. I thought the clear etching of his cheekbones showed awareness rather than suffering.
A hot wave swept over my face as I looked into his eyes. I was blushing. I felt so abandoned hi my feelings that I even hoped he'd notice.
He stopped and smiled, probably at my blushing.
"Hi," he said gently.
"Hi," I replied, trying to be noncommittal.
My eyes were drawn to his lips. His were fuller than most men's are. I felt the spark of a slow fire light in my groin.
"I'd like to sit and talk with you," he said.
I shook my head in a strange diagonal way, not knowing whether I was saying yes or no. Fortunately, he didn't stop to worry which I meant.
He sat on a slight ledge in the rock just over a foot away from me. Too close for comfort. I wanted to bury my nose and lips right at the base of his neck where his muscles stood out before they traveled under his sweater to his shoulder. Instead, I allowed myself one hungry glance before I stared off at the water.
"You're a poet," I guessed.
"Wrong. A law student. And my name is Jack."
I leaned over and dangled my hand in the cool water. I scooped up a handful and felt it trickle out between my fingers. I sloshed some of it up against the algae on the rock.
From the corner of my eye I was aware that Jack was craning his head to look down my blouse at my tits. I liked his desiring me. I rolled over on the rock, laying on my back, as if ready to yield to his embraces. I guess I'm somewhat of a cockteaser; I enjoy getting a man turned on to me, and I don't always let him know that it's oral sex that I want.
Jack was looking out over the water now, too, his brow wrinkled into a frown.
"What?" I asked him, running my palm over the back of his hand. I felt all his little hairs spring up in response to my touch.
"Oh, I was thinking about wanting yon and about the political situation hi this country."
"Oh?" I asked, amused. This was a new one on me.
"You see, I'm an anarchist conservative. I believe that each an should be his own authority, and follow the dictates of his own conscience. When his passions run unbridled, each man should be his own policeman and stop himself."
I nodded dumbly. He sounded very smart. Actually, I was flattered as hell. Most men never stopped to talk to me about anything important, they just wanted to ball me.
"What does all that have to do with you and me?"
"I don't even know your name, and I'm sitting here wanting to fuck you. It's not even night and I'm not even drunk—it's high noon in Central Park and we've hardly met. And I feel strongly, that emotionless sex is one of the things that's tearing this country apart."
"I'm Lois. And you haven't even asked me what I want."
"You're right, Lois. What do you want?"
I couldn't reply for a minute. I watched his hand drop self-consciously to his crotch and press. Trying to hide his hardon?
"I want you too, Jack. I feel sex is getting in the way of our talking to each other, and we should do something about it."
He just looked at me. I wondered it my moral-political rap was as good as his.
"Maybe it wouldn't be right for us to have intercourse," I said, "but I can think of something that might be just as good."
He just kept staring at me like he couldn't believe I was for real. His hand, though, was playing with the point of his hardon now instead of trying to push it away. That excited me. I wanted to blow him now.
"Jack!" I whispered in helpless appeal. "Don't make me beg for you."
I dropped my hand to his thigh. Beneath the denim I could feel lean, hard legs.
He ran his fingers up the inside of my arm, and I began to tingle all over.
I jerked my head over my shoulder.
"There's a thicket right there. From here, I can hardly see into it."
He looked around and I saw his Adam's apple gulp.
"I may never pass my bar exam," he said, "but I do want sex with you."
"Come on," I urged, tugging at his arm.
We stood up together. He clutched my hand in his hard, firm grip and we walked through the branches 'from the sunlight into the shadows.
He lay down on his back on the old, dry leaves and I took the chance to nestle into his shoulder. I felt warm and protected that way, although when I looked around me I saw that the leaves weren't as good a shield as I had hoped.
Jack leaned on his elbow and peered down into my face. I felt his breath on my cheek. His eyes went over the fleshy, upturned oval of my head, down my torso, and along my slender but shapely legs.
"Tell me what you see," I asked him, whispering the words into his lips.
"A piece of ass," he said, grinning. "Warm, feminine, receptive beauty. A woman who lets herself live and lust."
"But won't that mean the downfall of America?" I couldn't resist asking him.
"I'd rather it meant the downfall of you—to me!" he replied.
He brought his lips down onto mine. They were full and fleshy and soft. I kissed my being into his. Little drips of saliva came through his lips into mine, and I measured them.
Then, to my surprise, I found myself licking his face, all over. I savored the flesh of his lips, then went up his bristly upper lip to his nose. I plunged-the pointed tip of my tongue as far into his nostril as it would go.
I felt him squirming around, but I wouldn't stop. I tasted the mucous of his nose, then slid on up the side of his nose to his eyes, and attacked them with my wet, slimy tongue. He was so delicious I wanted to explore all of him.
"If you're still interested in me, maybe we could go somewhere else afterwards where we could really relax and enjoy each other," I suggested.
I giggled. "That wasn't what I had in mind, Jack. I'd like to be able to explore every inch of your body, slowly, in my own time, with my mouth and tongue."
"That sounds good to me. But let's do some exploring now. I'm fuckin' hot for you!"
He was, too. His hands were roaming all over my body, cupping my little breasts and jiggling them, then going down to the soft flesh of my thighs. I was so hot when he went under my skirt down there, that my whole body kept taking little leaps all over the place.
I slid my hand over to his hardon. I felt shy, but my heat was carrying me away. And I could feel the heat and the throbbing of blood in his cock even through his pants.
He was clawing at my underpants, and I was afraid of what was coming next. Men get hot and they just want to fuck me, like beasts, never mind what they say before. Jack was no exception. I knew that if I wanted to blow him, this was the time, before he got any more aroused than he was now.
"Jack!" I whispered.
"What, baby?" he asked, then put his lips over mine so that I couldn't even talk. I moved my head to one side.
"I want to unzip your fly. I want to feel your cock all naked and hard."
"I know what you mean. Be my guest."
Oh, these good-natured, piggish men! I bet he wouldn't have said that if he'd known what a passionate vampire sucking I had in mind for his rod.
I ran my hand up from his knees lightly over his thighs and into the denim depths of his crotch, I've been told I have a tantalizing butterfly touch before, and I utilized it right there. Touching a man's crotch sometimes gets him even hotter than playing with his dork.
I brought my fingers up lightly over his swollen meat then—bingo!—I freed it. His penis stood up as straight and as noble as a redwood tree.
I touched his cock lightly and with awe, feeling it tremble under my fingers.
"Jack!" I gasped, "you're beautiful!"
"I wish I could get to you, too, Lois."
"Not here, Jack. I hope we can each enjoy what we are able to have here."
I paused. "I want to blow you now, Jack. I want to taste your meat and your come on the inside of my mouth."
He settled back with a relaxed but quizzical expression on his face. He seemed to be having trouble just sitting back and letting me do things. His hand reached up and began sliding up and down my back.
I looked into his clouded eyes and toyed absently-on his lips with my finger. Then I became aware that I was only marking time this way.
I said goodbye to his face. I brought my caressing fingers down from the hollow under his cheekbone, over his jaw, and down his neck to his collar. I found his nipples under his sweater; they grew into hard little beebees under my touch.
Jack's belly was as fine as any man's I've ever experienced. I went under his sweater and found lean, hard ribs protruding. His skin was stretched over them tightly. Between his ribs his belly was muscular, yet soft-with sexual desire. His nerves twitched as I explored his lower belly with both hands. A light line of hair ran from his chest to his belly button and. „ ...
His belt and the top button of his pants opened easily, and the entire delicious expanse of skin, hair and cock from his nipples to his crotch lay open before me.
Jack was letting out little moans, and his pelvis was squirming about in heat beneath my touch.
Then he started to sit up and reach for me. Men can't stay passive, they've always got to go grabbing after me.
I gave his chest a slight shove backwards which was enough to reverse his precarious upward movement.
"No, Jack," I told him firmly. "Stay there. Let me do it!"
He lay back. His face was sullen, but I thought I could change all that.
I cupped his balls and addressed his genitals with my love mouth.
My lips hovered over the pink tip of his cock. Ever so slowly I brought my open lips around the bulb of his dork without touching it. I let my hot breath flow over his aroused and sensitive skin.
Jack sighed and shifted. I could feel his restraint and stillness flowing out of his body. A new gentleness appeared. His hips came up and his tingling harden moved about lightly within my mouth.
I raised my head and looked up into his eyes. Though glazed over with lusts they were attentive to my face and my mouth.
"Now, Jack, now!" I told him.
I grasped his shaft firmly, closing my fingers about If in a fist. My lips sealed themselves around his swollen knob. I sloshed my saliva over his taut, burning skin.
The tip of his cock, with his open come-hole, pressed into the surface of my tongue. As I moved my tongue back and forth, the rough, wet taste buds kept passing over his sensitive skin. I made the tip of my tongue into a wet point and burrowed into his hole as far as I could get. He responded by moaning and beginning to move his body rhythmically.
He was hot now—hot and ready to pop. I loved the feeling of power that always gives me.
I focused on his shaft. His rod was big and thick, with the head standing way out from the joint. I ran my hand up and down the shaft, tightly, feeling each inch of pebbly skin and bulging veins. My grip was so tight that it stretched his taut skin in all directions. I gave special attention to his hot, distended knob, forcing its red rim way up to the hole, then way down on his shaft.
I buried my head between his firm, hairy thighs. They closed around my face. I felt warm and protected. Is this how a baby feels, held in his mother's arms, sucking at her bare tit?
I sucked at Jack's balls. I got the whole sac in my mouth. I found it to be wrinkly-skinned and hairy, with some of the bitterness of salt and urine. Then I spit out one teste, and wrapped my mouth around the skin of his other ball. I could feel it inside his skin—oval shaped, spongey, resilient.
Jack's hands brushed back the hair from my face, at the same as my hands kept stroking his cock.
"Oh, Lois, that feel so good!" he groaned.
Satisfied, I put my warm, wet, accepting mouth back onto the head of his cock.
My own pussy was burning.
I lathed the head of his cock, and he pumped back.
I clutched my legs together. I was rubbing the full flesh of my inner thighs back and forth across each other and around my cunt.
Jack's cock was coming in and out of my mouth. Sometimes he drove it deep into my throat and I gagged, but with pleasure, wanting more.
My cunt was pumping onto his foot in a rhythm at least as passionate as his.
My hand was clutched around his shaft, and I sucked as deeply as I could on his blood-swollen lollipop. My mouth came up and down rapidly. My mouth was open to just the size of his cock, so that my lips and tongue and sometimes even my teeth were as close on his skin and as tight as he could take it, maybe even tighter. I was sucking so hard that when my mouth came off his cock, it let out" a deep, water-filled gurgling sound like the intake of a powerful vacuum cleaner.
My mouth came off him again and his cock plunged in after me. His body arched with it ... all tense and rigid.
"Lois!" he grunted, "I'm coming! Now!"
The head of his dong stiffened and swelled.
My cunt, too, pushed up and out. I was coming too, the feeling in my pussy was overwhelming, I was riding the crest of a giant wave.
His prick pulsed. Hot milky come shot out into my mouth.
"Aaaaaah!" I groaned, deep and throatily. The first heavy contractions came. My head was light, and I felt myself hurtling through the universe.
Gentler ones followed, and I settled lightly back onto the earth.
My mouth was full of his come. His was thick and sweet, not too much salt. I swished it around in my mouth and swallowed it happily. I savored the heavy aftertaste as I lay back beside him on the ground.
His hand dropped to my cheek. "Did you come?" he I murmured assent and let my head fall back. Tender green leaves wavered in the wind as they created circles of endless blue sky.
My sandaled feet dug into the gravel of the path. Every so often I had to stop to remove a pebble from under the pads of my feet. That wasn't hard, because I was hanging onto Jack's arm. We had roused ourselves from our post-come stupor, and were strolling around the Central Park lake, back in the direction Jack had been walking when we found each other an hour earlier.
I really enjoyed the guy, and I was listening closely to every word he said. My orgasm with him had been good, but I still wanted more. I was very aware of the wind blowing my blouse on the tingling skin of my tummy. I found the firm bones of Jack's elbow reassuring under my fingers.
"Law school's brought about some good changes is my personality," he said, steering me to the west, away from the water. "Either I study and I pass, or else I flunk. It's objective, it happens out there, it isn't just everything spinning around in my head any more."
"Gee, maybe I need something like that," I confided. "I'm not doing much these days. I'm caught in a prison of my own making, and I don't know how to get out."
He nodded and looked me over. His expression seemed kindly but distant. I liked being under his scrutiny, and I felt my clit getting hard.
"Did you enjoy yourself with me back there, Jack? You didn't seem so sure about it at first."
He stopped and faced me. He held me at arm's length, his -hands holding my upper arms.
"Yes, Lois, I did."
I looked up at him and nodded. A curious little smile curled around my face.
He caught h. "You game for more? I live in. a apartment building right over here."
I looked up at him hopelessly. All I could do was to a funny face, and tears were coming into my eyes.
"Yeah!" I blurted out. I turned sideways and pushed my way into his arms to hide my stupid face.
He wrapped his arms around my shaky shoulders and I stood there on the grass, cuddled up to him.
"I want to see you naked, Lois. You look beautiful to me now, and I can't wait to see the rest."
I burrowed my head into the hollow space between his chest muscles. I found my hand down between his legs. I rubbed at his thighs and his balls, and when my hand moved up again, I found that Jack, had sprouted a terrific hardon.
"You're it!" I cried out, tagging him on his harden and taking off as fast as I could go in the direction he sad pointed out as his home.
He came after me like a charging lion. I zigged and ragged and ducked as well as I could, but it didn't do much good. Jack caught me quickly, then began running off himself.
He slowed down when h& got to the street. I ran right into him and hugged Mm tightly. I was panting and laughing, but he was as regular as ever.
Jack kissed me, once, deeply, thrusting his tongue way back into my throat. Then he pointed way up to a tiny window near the top of an imposing red brick building that looked like a castle straight out of the Middle Ages.
"I live right up there," he said. "I can't wait to be up there with you. Come on!"
The traffic on Central Park West had stopped for a red light. Jack grabbed my hand and we went running across the street. I hadn't felt so light and playful since grade school.
We went bursting into the lobby of his big building. The doorman slunk up against the wall to let us by. While I was giggling at him, I tripped over a poodle that belonged to a middle-aged lady with peroxide hair and fur coat.
"Whoops!" I cried out, holding out my hands to break my fall. Jack pivoted gracefully and scooped me up before I hit the ground, and kept our impetus going right into the elevator, where we stumbled into the side for support.
"Thirty-seventh floor," Jack gasped to another uniformed old man, and we went soaring up. Our operator kept his back turned austerely to the corner while we held each other.
I was astonished when the door to the elevator opened. Jack's apartment began where the elevator stopped, without doors or entrances. One huge room opened right into a second. Light was streaming through from open floor-to ceiling French doors. I walked through a variety of wicker chairs and heads of African animals out into the daylight again. I was on a broad terrace with majestic plants all around me. I ran my hand along the cool surface of some heart-shaped green leaves, then went to the railing.
"Jesus Christ, Jack!" I cried out. "Is this all yours?"
I was looking over at a panorama of green fields, rocks, and trees. Central Park stretched out before me in all directions. Ant-like figures and brightly painted cars were milling around purposelessly in all different directions.
I felt something wet on my thigh, then in the crease of my ass. I spread my legs to let it in further while I watched barges floating down the East River through some cracks of streets between tall buildings.
Jack had gotten my panties out of the way quickly. Now he held each of the globules of my buttocks in his hands and parted them so he could rim me better.
"You got neighbors?" I asked him.
"Naw, nobody can see anything we do here."
"Yeah? Well, remember, you said you wanted t© see my body? Now you're going to."
I was afraid his head was so buried in my asshole he wouldn't see me, so I stepped back a few feet Mm. When his gaze, rose to meet mine, his eyes piercing. He looked like he wanted to grab me, me down, and fuck me on the spot. He remained seated, though, so I went into the Salome strip-tease number I had planned.
"Ra-da-da-da!" I went, imitating the opening drams of show biz.
"You have before you the one and only Lois Lips, dressed as the average secretary walking through Central Park on a Saturday morning, looking to pick up the love of her life. Soon she will be dressed in nothing!
"Her face is quietly attractive, but nothing special, Her limbs are long and lean, still bearing traces of last summer's tan. Her glorious titties, however, are still a virgin white!" I cried out loudly and (I hoped) with drama.
With that, I flung up my peasant blouse and stood posed, my hands and blouse stretched to the sky, my tits jutting out saucily, my hips leaning softly to the opposite direction, rakishly, like a cover girl from Glamour magazine.
I bent down, sweeping my hands out in a ballet bow, encompassing in my mind the air, the earth, and Jack. As I wheeled back up, I stuck my hands under my tits and caressed them inches from Jack's face. The circular movement of my hands brought my nipples standing to full attention.
"More, more!" cried Jack appreciatively.
I whirled about across his terrace, passing between his trees. My motion lifted up my skirt and revealed my furry brown pussy to his anxious eyes. He seemed to like my ass too—I brushed its full melons across his face in passing.
I whirled on, toying with the sash of my yellow skirt. I went into an exuberant full turn, pivoting my hips, and with it tossed off my skirt, waving it out to the end of my arm. I was naked now, standing in my sandals on the terrace of Jack's penthouse apartment, standing revealed and beautiful in the afternoon sun.
I tossed away my skirt and my sandals and went over to Jack. He sat there quietly, dressed, nodding approval. I lay down before him on my side. I propped up my head on my elbow, and with my other hand, ran over my tits, by belly, and took the temperature of my cunt. It was hot and wet.
"I hope you like me. I feel all voluptuous and sexy, like one of those soft, fleshy women in the paintings."
"You've got one of the nicest bodies I've ever seen, Lois. You're lean, but full where it counts. And I can tell you're sizzling inside right now.
He knelt forward on his knees and began stripping, He looked at me quizzically. "You don't like fucking too much, do you, Lois?"
"No! Mouths, skin, cunt, cock, come, that's what I like."
He slid out of his pants. He was bare sow too. We were beautiful together.
He leaned over and kissed me. My mouth felt all gooey. I felt my body opening up to him. He went to my neck, then sucked in -my red, jutting nipple. I reached up to play with his hair, then his head moved on.
His lips moved in slow, circular motions over the flat skin of my belly. I could tell by the feel of his lips that he was experiencing each inch of my flesh. The circles his mouth was making on my skin went lower and lower. I let out an involuntary moan. I wanted to grab his head and jam it down into my cunt as hard as I could.
I opened my legs. His wet tongue trailed over my belly and down onto my thighs, tracing my curves lovingly. The feel of his hot breath of my skin was making me shiver, too.
He nibbled lightly at the flesh of my thighs, then at the furry side of my cunt.
I lay back. "A muff diver, that's what you are, Jack! A twat tooler! A cunt lapper! And ... I love it!" I cried out to the heavens.
I raised my cunt up into his face. "Take me—all of me—and enjoy it!" I implored Jack.
"Mmmmm!" came back a muffled exclamation of joy and approval. His hot panting and the vibrations of his lips in my cunnie were delicious.
His mouth was all over my cunt now! His tongue brushed against my clitoris and dipped into my fuck-hole, then repeated the journey, again and again.
His hands held the balls of my ass. I was really getting hot now. I'd push my ass back into his palms, and feel his hungry hands all over me there, then my hips would pull forward of their own accord, pulling my cunt fully into his greedy lips. His entire mouth was around my cunt, surrounding it, drinking it in, spilling his saliva all over it, making me hotter and wetter. His tongue was stretching deep into the back of my cunt, touching the flesh of the wall of my womb. His moist spear kept plumbing my depths, and I squirmed and wriggled and moaned more and more in uncontrollable ecstasy.
My legs spread all the way apart, and my hips rose up hi the air. He was an ancient god, and I was offering him the cup of my cunt. All the tangy wine of the flowing juices of my body were his to sip at will.
He was holding me aloft with his arms now and licking me for all' he was worth. I felt my orgasm building slowly and I began to let go of it, I felt it traveling up and down my thighs and all through my dripping slit.
"Oh, do it, do it, Jack, do it!"
"Then ... "I'm gonna come. Hold me! Now.?™ My stomach was tingling and my thighs trembling. I was so hot, and yet I was drifting, drifting into a luscious world I had never experienced before.
Suddenly, like a dam breaking, my climax began to explode. My coming was a tingling that got stronger and stronger until felt myself bursting.
My whole body strained upward and stiffened, then I felt the glorious pulsations of the spasms of my climax.
Then my orgasm passed and I fell back to the bed. Jack laid his head on my thigh and kissed me lightly.
He brought his head up beside mine and, cuddled me in his arms. I felt safe and warm and protected, but ... there was a but. I had shared my secret with him. I wondered if I could face him again.
Maybe we'd been too intimate. I guess the reality of it was that I was scared of what I was feeling for him. I doubted its genuineness, and my doubts messed my head up enough that I wanted to get out of there.
Soon I did. I lay hi the warmth of his body for a few minutes more, then when I couldn't take it any more I moved his arms, got up silently and dressed. I walked out without even looking back into Jack's eyes. All I know is that he didn't try to stop me.