Chapter 4
THE ADULT VIEW
The remainder of Betsy's story belongs in a later chapter-and will be covered there-her adult experiences falling into that classification of voyeuristic influence which produced a morbid or pathological effect in her sex life.
That the results of voyeurism do not contribute irreparable damage to the psyches in every case is just as true as the fact that they do in a number of instances. There is no pattern, no formula which would make it possible to eliminate the danger of most damage-other than a widespread acceptance of the fact that sex is a physiological function of the human organism-with the follow-on requirement that it be treated as such.
However, such an attitude should have had to be adopted some centuries ago to have much effect today. So much for impossibilities. Since there exist many already impaired psyches resulting from early voyeuristic experience, it seems best to examine them in their applicable categories.
As stated earlier, there seems to be a firming and spreading opposition to the unquestioned acceptance of the rules of sexual behavior which originated with and were inherited from our forefathers.
One thing which we recognize is that enlightenment is clarifying our present attitudes with regard to these rules. As noted in a prior chapter, the increasing number of Americans who are enrolling in institutions of higher learning each year, is providing the core of doubt as to the validity of these ancient taboos.
Despite the facetious description of college life often heard in the first half of the century ("college is a four-year loaf made with dad's dough") there is considerable evidence that education which carries today's high school graduate into the halls of higher learning is inducing a spreading ground-swell of thought. Part of this is the inevitable "why?, " posed to hitherto unquestioningly-accepted dogma. The sexual rules of antiquity are not only being subjected to the inexorable probe of "why?" but personal experimentation is providing some of the answers pedagogues cannot (or may not) give.
Past the area of college campuses and their restless questions and ceaseless experimentation with the facts of life, there is a whole new area of activity in sex, giving substance to the belief that Americans, in substantial numbers, are embracing the idea of a greater sexual freedom as desirable, worthwhile, necessary. With the numbers of these new frontiersmen and-women estimated to number no less than 8,000,000 and growing ... v spending in excess of $50,000,000 yearly in pursuit of their philosophy ... there is no longer room for doubt that a movement is afoot with a hard-core statistical base which will not be shrugged off.
This is the segment of married Americans which is dubbed "The Swinging Society." Its existence has been proved, beyond shadow of doubt; its activities have been probed, charted and graphed with the result that almost every strata of American fife is shown to be represented ... and voyeurism is admittedly an acceptable and enjoyable part of this activity.
Matt and Kathleen Gallant, admittedly the top authorities on the swinging society, have produced three books (with more in preparation) on this contemporary defiance of long-established sexual mores. "The Sex Rebels."
"The Lesbian in Wife Swapping" and "Wife Swapping-The People" written by this husband-wife team, have delved, sifted, sorted and compiled a startling statistical picture of the segment of our population dedicated to the sophisticated sexual philosophy. Here, we are concerned primarily with voyeurism and do not intend an in-depth review of that strata of citizens devoted to the new sexual freedom. However, they do require more than passing interest, since-in their activities, voyeurism is an integrated, accepted and welcome factor.
This has come about through a full, frank and free acceptance of sex as a natural, enjoyable, necessary function of the human organism. The delighted stimulation which occurs in those witnessing the sexual activities among others leads to a fuller participation through voyeuristic assists to desire. Note that here there is no side excitement (as is the case with the peeping Tom) generated by deliberately performing a forbidden or illegal act; no atmosphere of daring nor living dangerously in defiance of social practices. Among members of the swinging society, the stimulation the eye provides is an accepted part of the activity; is remarked by almost every interviewee who has contributed a case history to the Gallant's studies.
Thus, there arises a suspicion that voyeurism belongs in sexual activity, somewhere, somehow, since it is widely admitted to be a definite spur to both enjoyment and desire. Again there comes to mind the fact that voyeuristic law violations, in nearly every case, are not sexual offenses, actually, but offenses against the right to privacy.
In the Kinsey statistics illuminating sexual behavior in the human male and female, more than half the men and more than one-quarter of the women admitted to extra-marital affairs. Projecting such figures indicates that every other man-and every fourth woman-has participated in extra-marital sexual activity.
If these statistics prove nothing else, they do demonstrate that, regardless of what the mass of population professes to be its philosophy with regard to sex, that belief does not coincide with the action of over 50% of married males and 26% of the married females. Here is a clear demonstration of a wide duplicity with regard to sexual attitudes and a fact of grave concern since, no matter what the subject under consideration, such a widespread acceptance of dishonesty in matters touching sex cannot help but be reflected in other relationships to some extent.
It is also possible that this mental attitude is inescapable in the continuing condition of flux existing in our civilization. Faced with the continuing barrage of new concepts and upsets of ancient fallacies, which flow from the research of science, industry, medicine and scholars, there is constant warfare in the minds of many as demonstrated fact knocks the props from under long-held "truths."
There can be no denying the fact that radical change is spreading through the population with regard to sex. It may be seen in the increasing use of sex in advertising to motivate sales; the greater frankness of motion pictures in sexual matters; the spreading coverage of sex in books. The public is eager for knowledge and more and more accepts sex as a subject of consideration and conversation which should be released from taboo.
A totally voyeuristic factor in this sea-change regarding sex is an institution which has grown to be fully recognized and accepted: the sex symbol. Consider, in this one public attitude the degree of swing in public opinion. No farther back than the screen era of Clara Bow, the exceptionally libidinous appeal of this actress had to be hidden in advertising and promotion activity under the anonymity of "It." Looking back, this seems ridiculous, considering that-over the intervening years-the late Marilyn Monroe and those who followed after were frankly described as "Sex-Symbols." Considering the cultural lag in sex, many today do not fully recognize the vast change which the transition from "The Tt' Girl" to "The Sex-Symbol" reflects.
One thing it admits is that voyeurism plays an important part in sex, since the institution of the sex-symbol is totally an appeal to the eye with the tacit acknowledgement that the individual can use his imagination to fantasy whatever he wishes with regard to the initial subject. In the swinging society, extant today, the factor of voyeurism is given full and unrestricted play, eliminating or spurring fantasy, as the case may be, but admittedly heightening the enjoyment of sexual activity for its participants.
Don S. is a "single" in the swinging society (a not infrequent situation) who recalls that his first sexual activity, aside from self-erotication, which he discovered at about age ten, was with another male, a school-mate with whom he was spending the night.
"I was about thirteen," Don stated, "and this friend and I owned a canoe on shares. We'd spent the day on the river, paddling upstream to the bridge at the east end of town, then drifting downstream to the public beaches. During the drifting, we'd dive out, swim, climb back aboard-and generally have a hell of a time....
"Between the upstream limit of the bridge and the beaches downstream, there were several "camps" or summer cottages owned by some of the more sophisticated, well-to-do-families in town. One of these was owned by a blonde widow, Hyacinth Baldwin, called "Hy" for short. Her husband had died of a heart attack a couple of years before this time, and Hy had the reputation of being "fast." She always drove in town in a white Caddie convertible and Karl-my canoe co-owner-and I had seen a lot of the Baldwin leg on several occasions we'd been downtown. She climbed in and out of that car like a Hollywood stunt man getting on and off a horse.
"Anyhow, passing Hy's camp, we noticed her coming down to the beach in a white swim suit and we just had to steer over for a better look. She ignored us completely, getting her cap on and going in for a brief swim. We got to talking about her as, regretfully we watched her come out of the water and climb the stairs up the bank to the cabin.
" 'Man, look at those hips roll!' Earl breathed, as Hy climbed the steps, slowly. I nodded, licking my lips.
" 'And that chest and those thighs!' I contributed. Our conversation continued, getting into the area of what we'd like to do' if we ever got a chance with Hy.
" 'Let's go back over and ask her for it!' Karl suggested, excitedly, his imagination running away with him.
"I scoffed at him, telling him she wouldn't give him the time of day. Karl was paddling front and put his paddle across the gunwales as he turned on the seat.
" 'I'd like to give her this!' he blurted, pulling down his swim trunks. He had a full erection and grasped it in excitement. Despite the futility of the suggestion, I felt myself stiffening and turned the canoe back upstream to paddle past Hy's cabin again, closer in to shore.
" 'How're you doing?' Karl asked, looking at my trunks. I pulled them down. Mine was erect too. In an excess of bravado, Karl pulled his tunks down to his thighs, baring his erection and swung his legs back to pick up his paddle. " 'Let's show her what we've got', he said excitedly, 'maybe she'll ask us up!'"
"I told him not to be silly but he was heading us with his paddle and we were just a few yards off shore. At that moment, Hy came out on the porch in a robe, toweling the ends of her hair. She looked down at us.
" 'Whaddaya want?' she called, her voice hoarse and strident. (She'd been a waitress when she married old man Baldwin). Karl, always the impulsive type, got carried away, putting his hands on the gunwale and lifting his hips so she could see his nakedness. She laughed, scornfully and spat over the porch rail. "That's all I got fer you. Go play with each other. You look like the type. And if you don't clear outa here, I'll have the cops run you in! Ya hear?' " She turned to go back in the house and Karl shouted an obscene suggestion. Hy paused, spat again and went on in the house.
"We paddled out again and headed toward the bridge, Karl cussing a blue streak. What he said about Hy was pretty much the consensus of our elders as revealed by our eavesdropping. We were nearing the bridge and Karl quit paddling and shipped his blade, and jumped overboard. When the canoe quieted, I started to do the same thing, but then saw Karl toss his trunks onto the front seat.
" 'Hey, you goin' in skinny?' I asked.
" 'Yeah-come on in,' he urged and I did, skinning out of my trunks in the water.
" 'Why not, there's nobody out this morning but us?' I agreed and joined him alongside the canoe, stripping off my trunks.
" 'Maybe old Hy didn't have such a bad idea, 'he grinned. He grasped my half-erect (penis) underwater, and gave it a suggestive tug. I started in surprise.
" 'Hey, what's the idea?' I asked.
" 'You do mine and I'll do yours,' he grinned excitedly. 'That's what that blonde tart suggested...'
"Despite my reluctance, I could feel myself becoming erect, so I hesitantly reached across to take Karl's throbbing erection in hand. As we masturbated each other, nearing climax, I blurted: 'Man, I wish Hy had hold of that ... ! '
"After we'd finished, got back into our trunks and back into the canoe, Karl faced me on the front thwarts with a thoughtful expression on his face.
" 'What's on your mind?' I asked, suspiciously.. 'That wasn't such a big thing.' Truth was I was feeling ashamed and guilty of what we had done.
" 'Better than doing it all by yourself,' he joked, repeating a punch line of a current joke, 'at least it gives you somebody to talk to!'
"I had to laugh. He was a real 'heller," as we said, then. Then his face grew intense.
"Look, Don-I've got an idea ... why don't we fool around tomorrow until Hy comes down to swim-we can drift inshore close enough to get a good look and (masturbate) each other while we watch? She'll never know what we're doing...! '
It took a minute for the idea to filter through my thick skull-then I was amazed at the re of excitement which swept over me at Karl's suggestion. Even though I was scared at the notion, the truth of his thinking-that we'd be doing it right under our sex symbol's eyes without her knowing-set me off and I fell in with the plan, whole-heartedly.
"We almost drowned ourselves in that river before the opportunity we wanted so much, actually arrived. About ten days later, we were drifting down past the banks where the cabins were, when we spotted Hy's white convertible come roaring up to her place. We went over side and Karl took the long long mooring rope and dove to tie it to a big underwater snag-just a little upstream from Hy's stairs down to the beach. It was a big, fallen tree from some long-past flood, waterlogged and stuck in the river bottom. You could see it at low water in late cummer and we'd checked the location from memory and dived till we found it while lurking around hoping Hy would show up. We even practiced once, holding on to the canoe, masturbating each other again and found out the drift was too fast so Karl figured out this way to keep us in one place until we'd pulled off our caper.
"So, there we were, in position and excitement rising. I was experiencing an erection and I whispered to Karl to ask how he was doing. We were on the side of the canoe away from the bank and Karl, grinning arched back in the water to show me he was completely ready.
"It wasn't long before she came out onto the porch and Karl and I started manipulating each other, filled with excitement at what we were doing, and our eyes filled with the seductive lines of Hy's over-ripe body in the white suit. My heart pounded as my eyes feasted on the big breasts, the rolling hips and thighs. Then the skirt across the front worked up as she came down the steps and my breath stuck in my throat as I saw the plump swelling between her thighs and the crease which centered it, clearly outlined as the material molded it. I know Karl got the message too, his movement increased in tempo. Hy stood, silent, round thighs slightly parted, watching us as she got her bathing cap adjusted the way she wanted.
" 'You two girls sweethearts?' she asked, contemptuously in her strident voice. She stepped into the water, then-bending over to splash with her hands, and I got a glimpse of her bare breasts at the top. I couldn't have spoken to save my life. I began to climax, with my eyes fixed on the plump bulge just beneath the skirt of her suit and had to hold on tight to keep from slipping under water. Karl finished himself and I could hear the excitement in his voice as he replied (and I could tell he wasn't going to be smart, again):
" 'We're buddies,' he said. 'It's our canoe in partners . .
" 'Wonder you don't drown yourselves. Them's dangerous.'
"I was beginning to recover my senses as Karl tensed and I knew he was climaxing. 'It's safe enough if you can swim,' I gulped.
" 'Whaddaya two doin' hangin' around here?' she demanded, the belligerent tone coming back, wading out a little farther.
" 'We-well, we were fooling around with the snag,' I said. 'We dove down and found it. We've got the canoe tied up to it.' She shuddered.
" 'How c'n yuh put yer head under water?' she said, distastefully. Karl came around at this point.
" 'You have to keep the water out of your mouth and nose, but it's easy.' He grinned. 'Is it alright if we fool around with the snag?' he asked. She grumblingly said it was OK, if we wanted to drown ourselves, go ahead and stepped into the water farther to dog-paddle a little in the shallow water before getting out. We retrieved our trunks and got into them and told Hy goodbye, telling her we'd see her....
"We did this about a dozen times that summer,' Don continued and, as great as the excitement was, I finally got scared that it was a 'pansy' thing, especially when Karl wanted to do it when we stayed all night. Karl scoffed at the idea it was queer.
" 'Heck, it's not your hand I'm thinking about when we're doing it,' he grinned, 'I imagine it's that blonde that's got hold of me!' We got pretty well acquainted with Hy and she got to tolerate us. I have often wondered if she knew what we were doing, underwater and out of her sight while she was on display.
"I don't know how I ever kept out of trouble, running around with Karl," Don went on. "He was always up to something. He discovered a peep slot into the girls' gymnasium locker room. We wondered if the janitor used it, but we never found out.
He was a sourpuss and we kept out of his way. Anyhow, Karl came up with the information he had a hot surprise for me and mysteriously led me down to the boiler room at the last period when the janitor had started his rounds to empty the waste-baskets in those classrooms that were vacant. The back wall of the boiler room was the dressing room wall. The gym had a curved, metal roof that covered the locker room, too, and there was a gap someone had pried open along the top of the wall.
"You could see everything-but to reach it you had to cross from the roof stairs in the boiler room on a girder. When you were in position to see into the room, nobody could see you unless they came up the stairs because the boilers stood way up in the air. So, after we crossed over the girder, steadying ourselves on another overhead support, I looked down into the room.
"Then the chicks began trooping in from gym and started to strip down and shower. My eyes must have popped out an inch, watching all those bare breasts and bottoms. We could see into the shower stalls and before we left, I had an erection that ached. That night, I masturbated, remembering that room full of naked girls.
"I guess we enjoyed that peep-hole for about a year. It was a slit, really, about two feet long, so you could see almost the entire locker room. I got my biggest charge out of seeing the gym teacher a few times. Man! was she built. I remember one night I lingered after even the boiler room was locked up when she came in to shower. Her breasts were big but they were firm, jiggling, with every move she made. After she finished soaping, and rinsing, she soaped up between her legs again and began massaging herself until she was real excited.
Then, she unscrewed the shower head and adjusted the stream real strong and crouched co the water hit her just there. Man, we both made it and I thought nhe was going to fly apart when it hit her. She twisted like a snake..."
It was during this time that Don got the idea to prowl the homes of certain girls he was particularly attracted to. If he could get a chance to look while they were naked (or, as he recounted being lucky enough to catch one masturbaling on her own) he indulged in masturbation.
When he was about six months past his fifteenth birthday, there occurred his first experience in coitus. A friend of his mother's, Lucy, about fifteen years older than the lad, had a habit of dropping in for visits unannounced. She and Don's mother had gone to school together and were close friends.
This Saturday, Don was home alone and was showering when Lucy walked in, not knocking or ringing, which was usual with her. Finding no one in the house, she headed for the sound of the shower, evidently assuming it was Don's mother. The door to the bath was open, and Lucy walked in on the lad just as he emerged from the shower-stall. He was experiencing an erection from some manipulation in the shower and didn't realize she was there until he turned from the towel rack to face her.
"I'd always thought Lucy was the sexiest-looking woman around," Don grins, in recounting his experience, "and many's the time I'd masturbated with fantasies about her. I was shocked numb, for a moment to see her standing there, looking at me, buck naked and my (penis) standing straight up. It started to fall, but Lucy's smile and comment encouraged it to remain erect.
" 'Hey, Donnie-today you look like a man. Do you know how to use that?'
"I'd always kidded around with Lucy. Besides having a terrific yen to spy on her (which I'd never been able to do) I liked her and she had always liked me, I thought. I figured she was just kidding me so I excitedly gave her a smart answer. Sone-thing like 'would you like to try?' This may sound pretty forward for me, but Lucy and I always needled each other-never before anything really to do with sex, but I guess the feeling must have been just under the surface, all the time....
"She wanted to know where mother and dad were and I told her they'd driven over to Aunt Grace's and wouldn't be back until late afternoon.
" 'Expecting any of your friends?' she asked, smiling and moving a little closer, her eyes constantly dropping to my (penis) which was jumping with my excited heart-beat. I shook my head and she said:
" 'If you'd really like to find out what that's for, now's a good time," she said, kiddingly, but moving a little closer. "Doesn't your hand need a rest?'
"'Doesn't everybody's?' I cracked back. This type of repartee with Lucy excited me still more.
" 'I'll go lock up so nobody wanders in,' she said and winked and I excitedly finished drying while she took care of it. As she came back, her arms were behind her neck, to unzip her dress; her eyes were busy on my erection. You know, it's funny how certain things stick in your mind-I remember Lucy's arms in that position looked as sexy as I always thought her legs looked....
"Then she was pulling her dress off and shaking back her hair, saying:
" 'OK, big fellow; let's do it ... ' "
"Man, was I excited as she took her dress off. She had on a brassiere, panties and long, sheer hose which had garters built into the tops. She always dressed nicely and was proud of her legs and small, neat feet. I'd gotten a dozen erections just glancing as she sat, with her legs crossed, talking to my mother. She had big breasts, too, and I thought of the girls' gym teacher I'd seen in the shower, wondering if Lucy's jiggled like hers, instead of bouncing. When she came close to me, slipping one arm around my shoulders and taking my erection in the other hand, she kissed me, pressing herself against me. I could feel those breasts pushing against me and thought I was going out of my head.
"She retained her hold on my erection as she led us into the bedroom. I pushed my clothes aside as she released me to unhook her brassiere and my hands, instinctively took hold of them. They were tight and warm and I never felt anything so exciting. She slipped out of her tight panties, sitting down on the bed and pulling me down beside her. She kissed me then, her fingers touching me and teasing me all over.
" 'This is the first for you, isn't it Donnie?' she asked, when our lips parted. I nodded, too breathless to speak. " 'Then, I'll show you everything, sweetheart ... '
"And she did. I know Lucy must have had two orgasms for every one I experienced and I climaxed three times with her. When we were done, Lucy confessed that she and her husband were members of the mate-swapping set. She swore me to secrecy about that and about what we'd been doing. She asked me if I'd like to come over some evening and swing with her husband and her. I was a little dubious about her husband, at that moment, but I wasn't dubious about Lucy. All I knew was that I'd stumbled onto a free pass to the ball game.
"I had a call from her about a week later, asking if I'd like to come over for an evening. Being as close a friend of my parents-my mother, actually-as she was, Lucy could plan pretty cagily. My folks were out for their bi-weekly bridge fight-as they called it-and weren't-likely to be home before two o'clock.
"It was foolish to worry about Lucy's husband. When I got there, Hal welcomed me, laughing, saying he was certainly glad to have some help to keep Lucy happy.
" 'From what she tells me,' he laughed, 'I think we can handle this job, just by ourselves.'
"I got a kick out of a grown man talking to me like an equal. It helped take the shock off the fact that, when I got to the house, they both greeted me undressed Hal, completely nude, Lucy in panties, hose and heels.
"To get me into the swing, they had a session first. Man! I had a climax watching them. Peeping at naked girls was nothing compared to this! They got a bang out of seeing me react to their lovemaking. When Hal finished, and Lucy came back to the living room, he told me it was my turn-and was I ready! Lucy explained the rules of the game to me when we were at the house, so I knew my job was to make her happy. I did, too-and I was proud of myself. She had two climaxes while I was doing what Lucy had told me she wanted but I couldn't make it.
"Hal got an erection again from watching and suggested I rest while he took over for awhile. It wasn't long before I had to ask if I could go again and Hal grinning, turned Lucy over to me. This time, I stayed in there and pitched until I won, but again, Lucy made it twice while I was working with her..."
Don, subsequently, went on with this couple for several months before they introduced him to some of their friends. He recalls that he quickly became satisfied with the group method of sex and didn't derive nearly the enjoyment from individual dates. As a matter-of-fact, his parents often quizzed him about the fact that he didn't date any of his high school classmates but Don always shrugged them off as too kiddish for him.
After high school, Don attended junior college, then went into a local industrial job. He advanced quickly, by age thirty-five he was a vice-president. He has never married, but is an enthusiastic and popular member of the area's swinging society-and one of their best recruiters of single girls. This, Don admits, has become something of a way of life for him.
"Remember 'The Enforcer' on television?" he asks, laughing. "Well, in the group I travel with, I'm kiddingly known as 'The Procurer'-the only thing that troubles me is there's more truth than poetry in the nick-name. However, I can always take comfort from the fact that the girls are willing..."
Don is the first to admit that his introduction to swinging was probably responsible for his never having married.
"Single sex-to me-is just too tame. There's no kick to it as there is when I'm with a group of swingers-watching other guys making it-or having them watch me make it. I could never settle down to one woman sex. I guess I'm beyond the point of no return..."
It would appear that the voyeur/exhibitionist in Don has remained dominant since his youthful experiences with Lucy and Hal-and had been solidified by subsequent activity among swingers. Predicating the opinion on the inevitability of old age and the loneliness of no family life, it might appear that Don is headed for personal tragedy due to his sexual preferences. However, we base such deductions on the experiences of the past.
It is very true that Don may have company in his declining year, because things are reflecting change-and there may be compensation of which we know nothing, held, as we are, in the thrall of our conventional beliefs. What we do know is that nothing in human experience is perfect-and that may certainly be used to describe sexual proscription as we know it today.
While Don has expressed an aversion to the possibility he may be somewhat homosexually oriented, the possibility remains, in his affirmation of the delights of swinging sex, that this latency may contribute, without his being conscious of it, to his reticence to find a full-time mate for himself.
While in the general numerical assessment, voyeurism is not a major consideration with the female, in the swinging world there are numbers of single females whose participation is due to an early conditioning to voyeur contributions to sexual satisfaction.
Alice M., as a case in point-insists she can only achieve a sexual climax in situations where there were more than two participants. Alice was brought up in a "hard shell" Baptist home in a small southern city, and she lived under the strictest kind of moral discipline. All of the casual pleasures which her peers indulged in with no restriction cards, dancing, movies, etc.-all were forbidden to Alice.
Her clothing, compared to that of her schoolmates, was "frumpy." No ribbons, little color, none of the touches so dear to the feminine heart-even among very small feminine hearts. Alice's entire social life orbited about the church to which her family belonged. Parties at home were unknown, alcohol was an anathema to her parents and Alice accounted for every moment of her time from departure for school in the morning to her return at night. In vacations, the strictures were (seemingly) even tighter because all her friends seemed to run free as the birds. However, with the pliancy of the young, Alice managed to get along in the strict atmosphere of her Baptist family since she saw that many of her acquaintances-as well as a few of her friends-were also subject to this same tight discipline, so she did not feel that she was entirely deprived. She had company.
This situation altered drastically when Alice's father was offered a position in a large, midwestern city office of the company for which he worked. It was a promotion which carried with it increased responsibility and authority as well as setting Alice's father on the path toward the upper echelon of the company. Their home in the south was sold and the family moved north and west.
The step to the St. Louis office was a big one and Alice's parents found a great many things different from their former existence. For one thing, Alice began to feel deprived, immediately. The clothing which had been suitable before, was definitely a detriment and earned the young girl nothing but scorn and jibes from her schoolmates. With the father's new position, Alice's mother quickly faced up to the fact that there were many changes in all their lives which must be made. Immediately, Alice was to be equipped to "fit in" better with her associates. Her clothing, for one thing, and her participation in their activities for another. When the young girl stayed out of school three days, too sick and miserable to face a return to class because of the scornful comments of her classmates, her mother-practically-informed the father they were outnumbered and reminded him of the ancient truism about Rome and the Romans.
So Alice received a complete change of wardrobe on a one-day shopping expedition that lasted from early until late. The lift for her spirits can be imagined. Also, she was permitted a far wider participation in the amusements. Almost immediately, she was invited to parties and other social activities which opened, for her, a complete new world.
She was catchecized, thoroughly, by her parents about her behavior; warned against petting, alcohol and tobacco and certain movies she was not permitted to attend but it was a tremendous change from her virtual imprisonment in home and church. Alice's first reaction was one of almost delirious intoxication in her new freedom. She began to apply cosmetics, surreptitiously, and became the object of attention from some of the boys. She was shocked to find that movies and dances were not as she'd been assured-way-stations on a straight road to hell and, again with the elasticity of youth, she expanded under her new-found freedom to secretly question anything and everything she had been taught was a sin. Experimentation on the sly was unavoidable and Alice soon came to a state of mind which, with her conditioning, was inevitable. If so much she'd been taught as gospel truth was so patently false, she-secretly-could accord little respect to her parents' leadership. She questioned everything in her discipline.
Alice, before long, became an intimate of a sophisticated clique in school. Her good looks and her frankly-confessed naivet' triggered her warm welcome. Her innocence was a long-standing source of delight to her girl friends, many of whom had long since parted with their virginity and were participating in what Alice had been taught to believe was the most dangerously sinful of all offenses.
"I didn't know what time it was," Alice confessed, "but I soon got an earful. When they realized I didn't know a single, solitary thing about sex except that it was all hell-fire and damnation, I thought the slumber party would go into mass hysterics. They had thought I was kidding at first, I guess, but when they found out I really was a square, they just couldn't stand it. They had to fill me in as quickly as possible.
"It seems like they were always talking about sex. The others constantly were discussing the size of this boy's (penis)-or that one's; how expert each was in taking care of their partner's needs and the various methods they used to masturbate. All this was shocking initially but I began to get used to it. I had only masturbated twice in my life and I was horribly ashamed and frightened both times, being convinced that it would make me incurably sick....
"I had gone home one afternoon after school with Janie for awhile and, up in her bedroom, our conversation-hers rather-turned to sex and she wanted to know how I masturbated. I confessed my lack of experience, blaming it on my fears of becoming ill.
" 'Oh, pooh' she scoffed. 'I found out how when I was nine. I've been doing it ever since. Do I look sick?'"
"I had to admit she didn't. Janie was one of the most popular, attractive and on-the-go girls in the class.
" 'It's good for you,' she continued. 'Relaxes you-makes you feel a"L soft and relaxed like a bunny.'
"Janie and I had reached the 'best friends' relationship pretty quickly after her crowd picked me up. I felt I could talk to her and, confessing I didn't really have any technique, I asked her how she did that and she showed me. Locking the bedroom door, she took off her clothes, directing me to take mine off and proceeded to lie back on the bed with her thighs apart and massage herself. After she climaxed, she explained to me how sensitive the clitoris was and I had to confess I didn't know what it was and she instructed me to take the same position on the bed she had and she proceeded to go to work with her finger. I found out what I needed to know, getting passionate in a hurry and reaching a climax swiftly.
" 'You're an easy off,' she laughed and, soon afterward, I asked if she'd do it again. It had felt so good. 'I'll show you some other ways,' she said-and proceeded to do so. Then she wanted me to do it for her and priding myself on learning quickly, I induced two orgasms for Janie.
"Janie and I kept this up for about a year," Alice recalls. "Now and then Phyllis would join us. We'd do it in front of each other or to each other. I confessed to Janie I'd never seen a boy naked and didn't know what one looked like. It was right near the end of school and the boys were beginning to talk about going swimming.
" 'Wait'll the water gets warm enough and I'll show you something,' Janie promised, and she was as good as her word.
"So, one Saturday, Janie took me down to the lake. We sneaked up through the bushes like a pair of Indians and found a good, thick clump of bushes we could hide in and see out from. It was some time before any of the boys arrived, but I was so excited in anticipating the sight of a nude male, I didn't care. Finally, a group of three of them drove up, stripped to the skin and headed for the lake. I couldn't see much until they got into shallow water and started to splash each other. Then, I could see everything....
"Janie got excited when a second group arrived.
"I've done it with that boy,' she indicated a muscular, compact boy who seemed to have a bigger equipment than the others. She began to play with her breasts, watching him and remembering and got herself excited. The first group of boys decided it was too cold and dressed and left, but Janie's friend decided to stay. His companions went with the other boys. She was excited, but good. Telling me she just had to have Jack in her, she got ready to go around and come back from a different direction through the brush. " 'Why don't you watch?' Janie breathed, her hands still playing with her bosoms as she got up and disappeared.
"I was excited, too and watched with eyes that ached from the strain, until Janie appeared from my left, calling to Jack. He hailed her excitedly as she approached, standing with his hands on his hips his big (penis) beginning to stiffen. Janie offered to go swimming with him but he said it was really too cold, asking if there wasn't something she'd rather do.
"Janie didn't hesitate, stripping down to the skin as Jack and she moved to a grassy knoll so close I could see the drops still on his skin. He grabbed her breasts and started kissing her as she lay back. I could tell by the way her legs were twisting and tensing she was enjoying it, and her hand quickly caught Jack's erection. As he began kissing her breasts, I heard Janie give a little moan and I knew she was so excited she could hardly hold on.
"I had unfastened my slacks and got a hand down inside my panties to squeeze and rub and I had two climaxes while I watched Janie and Jack. I had never experienced anything like them. They shook me clear down to my toes. When Janie relaxed her legs and arms and Jack withdrew, they were shining, with perspiration and began to kid about the appearance of Jack's relaxed (penis).
"Then, after awhile, Janie started fondling him and he became erect again. He began by kissing her breasts this time but it took them longer than the first time and Janie had two climaxes before Jack finally reached completion. I had two more too, reaching the first when Jack rocked back on his haunches after Janie climaxed, his erection throbbing and shiny, Janie trying to focus her eyes on it while she was ebbing. Then, he went back at her again. By the time they finished, I was exhausted; could hardly drag myself back to the car after they left. Both Janie and Jack were kidding about being sore ... I was sore and worn out!"
"Well, this began it for me and I began to get Janie to tell me where she was going with dates she did it with and for a while she told me. Then she confided to Jack what we did and what I was doing and he began to urge Janie to get the three of us together, but she was reluctant because of me. Finally she told me what Jack had asked, and-while it scared me-after thinking about it for a couple of weeks or so, I finally found myself eager. I wasn't thinking so much of my participation as I was the opportunity to watch, close up and openly....
"The result was that I was supposed to spend Saturday afternoon and night with Janie, planning on going to a movie that afternoon-but, when Janie picked me up in her car, we parked it in a shopping center and Jack drove up as Janie locked up. Excitedly-and frightenedly-I asked what the plan was and Jack told me his folks had this mountain cabin and we were headed for it for complete privacy. It was a beautiful place-it took us about an hour to get there-perched on a ridge-top with miles of mountain scenery around it. Jack and Janie didn't spend too much time admiring the picture, though. Jack was impatient to get started-as I could tell by a quick glance at his trousers-and the three of us were soon in the big bedroom.
"It was a little embarrassing for me, right at first, but Jack and Janie stripped and I couldn't tear my eyes away from his big (penis) and (testicles). Occasionally, while they were playing with each other, they'd look over at me and smile, Jack urging me to take my things off. I began to feel my excitement drowning out everything else and while Jack was kissing Janie's breasts and she was teasing his erection, I got up and stripped, too. Then, shoving the last feeling of embarrassment behind me, I began to rub myself as I watched the two of them working on each other. When Janie guided
Jack into position and they began, I had an orgasm before they finished.
"When they recovered, Jack and Janie insisted I get on the bed with them and we fooled around awhile, Jack teasing and playing with both of us. I'd never touched a boy, before, but-at his urging-I finally took hold of him, and was so excited I could hardly breathe. Jack began to play with me and then suggested I let him in me, but I was scared. Then, he and Janie began to play with me together, and I got so excited I guess I'd have said 'yes' to anything. When Jack moved over between my thighs and knelt there, I hung on to him like grim death, I was so shaken. As I watched his erection pulse as he put on a protector, I knew that this was the time....
"Janie cautioned him to take it easy as I lay back, trembling, my breath jammed up in my throat. I was a little scared because he looked so huge, and was all tensed up but it only hurt a little bit and Jack took it easy, as Janie kept urging him. Finally, when he was there, I felt like I was paralyzed. I could hardly get my breath and I felt strained and full.....
"Then I became conscious of Janie teasing my nipples and I guess I twisted at the new sensation because Jack, smiling down into my eyes began to move. I've never had anything to equal that in my life-Janie playing with my breasts-Jack slowly, slowly moving himself up and back. Then, Janie was kneeling beside us and I felt her other hand, teasing Jack's (testicles) while she continued toying with my nipple. The good feelings began to swamp me then and before I could hold it back, I climaxed. Oh! how I spasmed. My muscles in my legs and back were sore for three days. When I came up from the whirlpool, Jack and Janie were grinning down at me, and he was still there-still throbbing! Oh!...! "
Mary dropped her face into her hands at the recollection but, smiling, continued after a moment.
"We rested for awhile and Jack mixed us a drink-this was another first for me-but he made them all light. Bourbon in coke. It tasted alright, but I could feel it almost immediately and I remembered thinking a little of that must go a long way. We got to talking about the way girls made love to each other and Jack kept urging Janie to do it orally. She finally admitted having done it once and asked if I minded. I told her I might as well know it all and Jack watched while she began to kiss me. Before long, I felt myself slipping out of this world again as she reached my sensitive spot. I remember how excited Jack got at watching us. I couldn't take my eyes off his erection as I exploded-then I lost sight of everything..."
Mary recounted that she seemed to remember that whole afternoon as an almost continual orgasm. Jack performed coitus next with Janie while Mary teased both of them as Janie had. Then Jack asked Janie to do oral sex on him but she protested, saying she never had. Finally, she agreed to try if I'd try too. Jack had mixed us another short drink, between sessions, and I agreed and we began-first Janie, then me. Jack was going out of his mind-I guess he was nearing orgasm-and, when I lifted my face, to look at him, he pushed me back and entered again, climaxing almost immediately. This broke the party up, Janie rushing me into the bath and immediately digging out the equipment for a cold water douche. Ugh, that was uncomfortable-but that was an afternoon to remember, otherwise..."
"We were tired and, as I said, my whole body was aching and sore for the next three days, but I determined that if that was so black a sin, by now I was the blackest sheep of all because I had never experienced anything so terrific before. We all agreed it had been a tremendous afternoon and formed a 'Three Musketeers' for future sex.
During school vacation, Mary had invitations from several boys for dates, one of them-a friend of Jack's-frankly asking if she'd have sex with him. She admired the boy and agreed and they went to Chris' house. His folks were away, overnight. Mary recounted that, while Chris seemed very capable in the fight of her limited experience, and seemed to handle her with skill, her orgasm was not so full nor satisfactory as with Jack and Janie. When he suggested a second try to which Mary agreed, hoping for better results. However, the second climax, while more vigorous than the first, still left much to be desired.
Mary puzzled over this and agreed quickly when Jack and Janie suggested another Saturday session. This time, since Jack's family was at the mountain cabin, they went to his home. Again, Mary's orgasms were all she could want. She told her friends about the experience with Chris and Jack confessed he'd suggested his friend ask her for a date, but hastened to reassure both girls he hadn't talked.
" 'I only told him that if I weren't going steady with Janie, I'd sure ask you for a date,' Jack explained.
They had no explanation to offer for Mary's experiences. She dated Chris a couple more times and went out with another boy Jack suggested, but the results were not worth the effort. The trio settled down to a fairly regular group session no less than once every two weeks and every week, when they could manage it. Mary's mother and father had no idea, of course, what was going on. Since Janie's people were influential members of the business community and well-respected, Mary's mother and dad congratulated themselves on their daughter's obvious good-taste in her close friendship with Janie.
The trio all entered college at the same time, Jack and Janie eloping to be married at the end of their sophomore year. Far from breaking up the trio, this solidified it and the three graduated together. When Jack's and Janie's parents decided they seemed-likely to make it, they relaxed their ban on the young marrieds living together which both families had insisted upon since both wanted to finish school. Relieved that no premature offspring had resulted with the follow-on embarrassment for both families, both sets of parents got into the spirit of the thing and gave Jack and Janie a new home in a smart suburban neighborhood for a wedding present their senior year, Jack's father being a successful building contractor and developer.
Mary, meanwhile, found herself leading two existences, which went against the grain and led to a widening of the philosophical split between her parents and her. Now and then, she'd date boys from school, just to satisfy them but she never formed any permanent alliance nor felt any need to, with the regular sessions of sex she enjoyed with Janie and Jack. Upon graduation, Jack got a job with an investment brokerage firm (this being his prime interest) owned by a friend of his father and soon began to make excellent progress. By the time he'd been out of college six months, Jack and Janie confided to Mary that they'd made the acquaintance of a couple who were active in the swinging society, telling her that single girls were much in demand. Mary needed little urging, and the threesome expanded into a wide range of contacts, acquaintances and friendships within the swingers' numbers.
It was not until eighteen months later that Mary finally became interested in a male 'single' she'd met in this activity. After six months, they decided to marry, both having the clear conviction that the swinging society was their way of life.
Mary's resentment at her parents' constant insistence on their strict behavioral code as the only acceptable way of life increased from the time she began her secret sex life. Her irritation was constantly aroused by her mother's comments and pronouncements which made Mary's double existence an offense against every 'honest and decent thing' in life. Mary, silently, denied every assertion her mother would make (in the fond hope that she was instilling in her offspring her own code of behavior), her resentment and anger building slowly. In the light of her discovery of the delights of sex, she further considered her parents had deliberately misled her for their own purposes and, in time, it assumed the dimensions of a considered betrayal in Mary's thinking.
Finally, she managed a subtle rebuke. She agreed to marry Ran only if they might elope-which they did. When they broke the news to Mary's family on their return, they were shocked but Mary adamantly refused to consider a second, religious ceremony. In the heat of their discussion Mary compared her childhood to 'living in prison' and made it plain that-if she and Ran had children-they'd be subjected to such treatment 'over her dead body.' Soon afterward, Mary's father was promoted into the top echelon of the company in New York and Mary was relieved and pleased that distance prevented any but the most infrequent contact with her family.
Adult voyeurism, thus, is quite often a result of early experience and, considering what may result in adult consequence, gives a valid reason for sober consideration of the impressions to which the young may offer acceptance from the earliest period of sentience. There is no straight, well-marked highway to a desired balance in such matters; in our society, the paths are many, indistinct and-in many cases-leading everywhere but to the ends parents may be either striving (or wishfully thinking) toward. In that area of maturation: the highly impressionable, irresistibly attractive and conventionally secretive process of acquiring sex experience, millions of American youngsters are exposed (in the existing, publicly professed behavioral codes) to a form of Russian Roulette which is-it's true-seldom fatal ... but very, very final.....