Chapter 6
AN EYE TO BARS & STRIPES
A look at the criminal involvements of voyeurs reveals-as in the case of those who have been crippled, permanently-a compulsion to view the genitalia or sexual acts of others which is irresistible. However, the criminal division of voyeurism, so to speak, is an artificial classification in that the cases which appear in it have been put there by officers of the law. It is certain that the compulsion is no less vigorous in the individuals discussed in the preceding chapter. Their offenses, by and large, are no less illegal when they violate the privacy of others yet they are not classed as criminal simply because they have not been apprehended.
The physical circumstances have much to do with the ultimate classification of voyeurs. There is little to ameliorate the offense of a peeper who scales a fire escape to indulge in his activity or conceals himself in the abode of another to spy. But one who peeps from the security of his own abode into another cannot be said to be somewhere he does not belong. Indeed, it might be argued in such a situation that a female who leaves an aperture through which she may be seen is equally guilty since the voyeuristic urge is universally acknowledged. Though it may sound facetious, a voyeur should logically seem entitled-were he arrested upon the subject's complaint-to file a counter-accusation of negligence on the woman's part.
The Kinsey-founded Institute for Sex Research, in its report on Sex Offenders, indicates statistically that both criminal voyeurs and exhibitionists have one thing in common-an unsatisfactory history of heterosexual relationships. Rejection by the opposite sex may depend upon a myriad of factors, indeed the esthetic standards for sexual acceptability are so numerous between individuals as to defy cataloguing. To the extent these reactions are generated by the eye, these factors of attraction or repulsion are, in themselves, a voyeuristic exercise. Those spurred by an assessment of personality, odor, sound or touch must be pigeon-holed elsewhere, but all contribute to the complicated and accumulative factors which either attract or repel between individuals.
The consideration of this magnet-like reaction is complicated enough when it touches a specific pair of people of the opposite sex and the factors of their relationship. The intricacy is compounded when a single individual's reactions to all those of the opposite sex he or she may know or encounter. While there are general standards, it is not possible to say this or that particular individual lacks sexual attraction for every other. All of us have experienced the reaction almost parrot-like in expression: "I wonder what in the world she sees in him!"-or vice versa. '
Turning aside from this consideration for a moment, we encounter another tangled thicket of experiences, desires, impressions, reactions, thoughts and impulses which stem from childhood and remain in the conscious (or sub-conscious) to contribute to the early onset of heterosexual maladjustment which often continues throughout life and contributes to criminal incidence.
Carlton M., age twenty-seven, has worked in department stores for nearly his entire employed history. A capable salesman, he has learned the ability to establish confidence in a prospective customer. Not being effusively outgoing, his mien is not that of the traditional "confidence man" type of salesman, though he attains the same or better results with far less effort, seemingly.
He relates that, in childhood, he was repeatedly told by his parents that sex was shameful-dirty was a word they used to describe it, quite often. They were also consistent in insisting that girls were untouchable-that he must avoid any sexual activities with them-must shun any such considerations until after he was married. These repeated admonitions, Charles admits, had the effect his parents evidently desired. It was not until he was seventeen years old that he saw a woman in the nude for the first time in his life. In response to a gnawing curiosity, he slipped the bonds of parental proscription and went to a burlesque show.
"I told them I was older-the ticket taker didn't argue and I did look older than my real age. I was excited and about half-scared, I remember, but I hustled down front and managed to get in the third row. Somehow, I felt I had to get as close as possible. Well, this good-looking girl came out and did a strip-tease. Right at the end of it, she was completely naked for an instant before the lights went out and the shock of the glimpse of her sex organ-and the excitement of seeing her body gradually and seductively bared had built up in me to the point I had an orgasm. The rest of the show was a blur. I came alive for two more strip-teases, but nothing could approach the impact of that first girl's exposure. Even while watching the others, I could still remember her legs, her breasts, her buttocks-everything.
"That night, at home, I re-lived every moment of the girl's act and masturbated several times in the process of remembering and re-remembering. As a matter-of-fact, I was sore the next day from the excessive activity. When the storm in my mind cleared up somewhat, I reasoned that, if touching women was forbidden, it was alright to look at them."
Evidently a theatre full of people thought so-and he tried the burlesque house again. However, the complete exposure of the strippers had brought complaints and the authorities had forced the house management to tone down the acts. With the pressure on, the ticket takers were challenging anyone who looked under age ... and Charles didn't get in. Filled with a consuming desire to look at naked femininity, he remembered an acquaintance who'd worked in a department store. Visiting him one day, Charles got an unofficial tour of the huge establishment, recalling that his guide had confided-with a lascivious leer-the women's dressing rooms for trying on dresses in the better garment department was right next to the stock-room.
Charles went to the store and applied for a stock-room job, and a few months later after graduating from high school, was called to go to work. Finding there wasn't enough privacy in the stockroom proper to hide his explorations for a way to peep into the dressing rooms, he began to offer help in handling the merchandise carriers-big canvas baskets on casters-which were stored in an ell off the stock-room when not in use. Getting carts out and re-storing them was a chore the older hands always wished off on someone else, and Charles was willing. While working out of the sight of the other stock-room employees, he noticed a large steam pipe going through the partition of the ell, well back in the cart storage area and concealed from the main activity and the stock desk. The first chance he got, Charles found it was no problem to loosen the collar to allow him to see through and was excited and elated to find he had an unobstructed view into two dressing booths and a slightly restricted view into two others.
This was it-and the stock-room gang didn't mind his goofing-off a little for relieving them of the cart chore.
So Charles began his peeping in secret. It was an involved process and, as often as hot, was productive of frustration rather than satisfaction. Charles had to exercise extreme caution to see that his activity wasn't detected and the customers in the end cubicles into which he could see were often fat, ugly or elderly. However, he saw, at fairly satisfactory intervals, women in various stages of undress.
"I looked for women with pretty figures. When they weren't wearing slips I got a big jolt of excitement and usually managed to masturbate to orgasm. But the excitement of escaping detection and the female bodies exposed usually had me so aroused, it was a quick process. On rare occasions I got a good look at girls or women who wore nothing in the dressing rooms, trying on dresses which fit very snugly and evidently wanting to avoid the outline of undergarments. These really sent me to the moon....
"When I'd been there about a month, one of the office girls who was in and out of the stock room quite frequently began to shine up to me. Her name was Virginia and I liked her, too and one day she asked if I wouldn't like to take her out. Well, the idea was completely foreign at first but I got used to it in a hurry and dated her for a movie. I know that sounds squirrelly-but I was shy of women to the point you wouldn't believe it. No matter if they had everything I liked in a woman's body, I was hardly able to carry on an understandable conversation. They just froze me up....
"Well, with Virginia, from the first, I was elated to find that I didn't have any trouble in talking to her. In the first place, we both worked in the store and there was a considerable amount of ground to cover there, so I got off real easily with her. We'd go to a movie or have dinner at one of the Chinese restaurants-the prices weren't too tough-and it was a pleasure to be with her. She had a wonderful knack of being interested in me-or seeming to-and this helped."
Charles and Virginia, according to his account, became pretty close, dating at least once a week, sometimes oftener. They ate lunch together at the store on numerous occasions. They went together for almost a year and Charles made no attempt to advance their intimacy past the point of taking her arm crossing the street or shaking hands with her. This got to be amusing to Virginia and perplexed her as well. One night she asked Charles why he had never tried to kiss her.
"It was after a movie one night," he says, "and I'd walked her home from the bus stop and she comes out with this. I kind of stuttered around for a bit but I could express myself to her, so I told her I'd thought about it but hadn't asked her because I knew this was something you didn't do with a girl if you weren't married. This almost sent her into hysterics, but she quickly recovered, recognizing-I suppose-that she'd hurt my feelings. Anyhow, when she realized I was serious, she said there wasn't any reason why two people who wanted to kiss couldn't-married or not ... and she wanted a kiss.
"Well, I pointed out that standing in the vestibule where everybody could see us, wasn't a very good place for it, so she invited me up to her room. After she'd closed the door, she put her arms around me and touched her lips to mine. I got an immediate charge out of it. I was exciting-I guess because it was one of the things I'd thought about doing so often. Then, she took one of my hands and placed it on her breast. I almost suffocated at this, but an excitement like I'd had in the burlesque theatre began to bubble up inside me.
"As I explored the feel of her breasts, I felt her hand go to my slacks and she began to squeeze and fondle my erection. I don't know what happened to me then. Maybe some unconscious recollection of the lectures I'd had-something-fouled me up. When we were kissing, I got an immediate fever; then the combination of my hand on her breast and her touching me down there combined to cool mc off. I lost the erection and suddenly felt like there wasn't enough air in the room. I just had to get out of there so I could breathe....
"Well, Virginia couldn't understand it. She looked disappointed and asked if I didn't love her-or if I was queer. It made me mad. I liked her better than anybody I'd ever known and told her I loved her. Also, I was no queer-it was just that, well I told her that we'd just been raised differently and I guessed that was it. She wanted to know if I was really going to wait until I got married and I told her I was.
"She really floored me then-she asked how I knew it would be any different after I was married. That stayed with me because I could see she was right. How did I know? All of a sudden I felt frightened because there was a question I couldn't answer-and I couldn't see any way I could find an answer to it. I left and I was one scared cookie. I didn't go home. I walked the streets until dawn broke and I ducked into a beanery for coffee and an egg sandwich. My mind was in such a turmoil, I couldn't face the idea of going home and trying to sleep. I'd never have made it-so I walked, and walked.
"I felt I loved Virginia-that she meant more to me than anyone in the world. Not only that, but I desired her-plenty. I'd thought many, many times about the things we might do together and, many's the time I'd masturbated, thinking of her. I couldn't understand it. The moment I held her-felt her and knew she had her hands on me, everything just came apart like a cardboard box in a rainstorm. I couldn't understand myself. When I'd had what I'd dreamed about so many times right there in my arms, all the switches went off. The more I walked and thought, the more the feeling grew in my mind that I was afraid-really afraid of having sex with her. I guess that's why her question hit me the first pop out of the box. I didn't consciously know the answer, but I must have sensed it. It came floating right up to the surface while I was pounding those pavements that night....
"She was right-that there wasn't an assurance that it wouldn't be just the same way after I was married. It seemed to me that that phrase 'when you're married' was to be the new day dawning.
When that happened, everything would change and for a few fleeting minutes as I walked I thought maybe I had the answer to the thing-that it would maybe change me into somebody else. Then I began to sober up on that because I remembered when I'd worked real hard getting merit badges so I could be an Eagle Scout and I looked forward to the court of Honor because I knew something great would happen. And nothing had. Sure, I was proud of the things they said about us and really stuck my chest out for that badge-but afterward I was the same guy that had sweat so hard for those badges there were times I'd missed meals because I felt nauseated from anxiety. As I walked home with my folks, I felt real depressed because, after all that work, nothing wonderful had happened to me-inside. Nothing....
"The upshot of it was that I felt I was as normal as any other guy but I had to show both Virginia s any other guy but I had to show both Virginia and myself. It wouldn't be fair to Virginia-or to any other girl-to get involved in marriage and not know beforehand. I had to prove it. If there was something wrong with me, I had to know. And this funny feeling came on when I wondered-if there was nothing wrong with me-why I'd acted like that.
"So, the next day I apologized and asked her for a date for that Saturday night. My folks were going on a trip for a few days and I could take her to the house. I got a pint because I figured I'd need something to give me a boost-and it might not hurt to have Virginia feeling a little high..."
Virginia was very co-operative, sitting on Charles lap as they had a couple of drinks, kissing and talking.
"She must have had an idea of the spot I was in," Charles recollects. "She was in no hurry-the drinks gave both of us a lift but she just let me take the lead. We kissed for quite a while and I started to play with her breast. She was stroking my thigh and the excitement was coming on as I unfastened her blouse and took it off. She got out of her bra and I could feel my heart pounding as she bared her breasts. They were beautiful.
"I asked her to take all her clothes off and she laughingly did so. I got more and more excited, watching her get out of her skirt and half slip and then slip her panties slowly down and step out of them. I couldn't take my eyes off her (pubic area). She didn't have much hair and I could see her (vulva). Then she insisted that I take my clothes off and I got up and stripped quickly with her help. I was erect and throbbing, my eyes racing over her nudity and we kissed standing up, pressing against each other. Then she took hold of me and we started to the bedroom and I began to feel my erection falling. She told me not to worry, she knew what to do for that, and we got onto the bed.
"She worked over me for the best part of an hour, but nothing did any good. Again, I got that same suffocated feeling-like there wasn't enough air-and the harder she tried to get me excited again, the more depressed and nervous I got. Finally, I admitted that it just didn't seem to be any use-I was probably too tired. She smiled and agreed with me, but we both knew differently."
As might well be imagined, this experience made Charles fearful of attempting further coital activity and he withdrew completely from active contact with girls. Virginia started going with another boy in the store and Charles thought they must be lovers from the way they looked and acted when he saw them at lunch now and then. In his masturbation, his fantasies often focused on what he thought Virginia and the other fellow were doing with each other and he would imagine that it was him.
By now, Charles was finding that peeping on women in their underwear was less and less exciting. When an upper floor stock-room needed a replacement, he asked for the job. This floor had foundation garments and swim suits and would give Charles a chance to look at women in the nude. He had even more seclusion and made peepholes which exposed the interior of three of the dressing booths. Then he found by standing on a step-ladder, he could see through a gap at the top of the partition but he had to be careful. If a woman looked up, she might be able to see him.....
His masturbatory activity increased under the spur of this new stimulus, Charles said. "Those swim suits and girdles fit real tight and the gyrations women would go through getting into them set me off. When I'd find one who appealed to me, I'd sometimes have a second or-on rare occasions-a third orgasm. Then this assistant buyer fouled me up. She was a snotty-bitch and I got on her list when she ran out of her office just as I was pushing a merchandise cart past the door. She sprawled over it, spraining her wrist, and blamed me for it; screaming about my stupid clumsiness until the buyer shut her up by pointing out it was her fault and not mine. Anyhow, she didn't like me and got wise to the fact that I was out of the stock-room a lot.
"She made a few cracks about my never working and I finally got sore one day and smarted off about her opinions being pretty one-sided and not too accurate. She reported me to personnel and I had to watch my step for a while until I thought things had quieted down. When I thought it was serene again, I went back to peeping. One morning a good-looking blonde girl was trying on bathing suits and between changes, she'd massage her breasts and her crotch. I had one orgasm and was working on a second when I felt someone touch me on the leg as I stood on the ladder. I started, grabbed for the partition top instinctively and knocked a cloud of dust into the booth area. An older woman looked up and spotted me and screamed....
"In a panic, I jumped off the ladder, and guess who I knocked on her fanny? Right-that lousy assistant buyer. She trailed me and caught me in the act. Anyhow, the woman who screamed went into hysterics, then threatened to sue the store; they called the police and I went to jail for a year. I had to take psychiatric treatment and it helped for awhile. When I got out, I found a job in a manufacturer's shipping room and went along without any trouble for some months. The doctor had showed me how to relax when I began to get the urge to peep. He pointed out that masturbation wouldn't harm me, but I was always vulnerable to prosecution for invasion of privacy."
When he found his desires beginning to get out of hand again, Charles moved to the west coast and soon managed to get back into a department store as a stock-room employee. Within six weeks, he'd managed it so he could again indulge in his favorite avocation of spying on undressed women.
"I knew all about this 'invasion of privacy' thing," Charles admits, "but there's something about all this I don't understand. If these women don't even know I'm there, what harm does it do? I've never even seen a woman on the street I'd peeped at in a dressing room. The only time I ever saw any of them again was when they came back to the store and I peeped at them again-and that only happened twice. I'd never approach a woman on the street-I'd be frightened of her. So-privacy, OK-but if they never know I'm there, I ask you ... what have I done harmful to them? I'll never see them again, probably-and even if I did they wouldn't recognize me; I'd be going in the other direction to avoid getting close to them..."
The former pattern repeated itself, with Charles being detected by a zealous floor manager who noticed his absences, then noted his movements. There had been some complaints from customers, too, who had good reason to believe they were being watched. The store management trapped Charles in the act by using a detective, tipped off by the floor manager-and this time, Charles went to prison. This time he was sentenced to two years.
He was released after serving eight months; about six months later was picked up again for peeping, this time in the bus depot where he'd found a way to spy into the women's rest room. This got him a two-year sentence and, upon his release, he headed back east to try to get another start.
"I couldn't bear it in prison. If I ever have to go there again, I'll end up in the puzzle factory. You talk about facing up to things-I have. The only thing I can do is peep. How about that? How do the judges feel about knowing that's the only thing I can do? The law says I'm wrong-but there's no other way for me. I refuse to believe I've ever hurt anybody. Physically, I know I've never harmed a living soul-and I never will, as long as I keep my marbles. But I can only get sexual satisfaction by peeping. They tell me sex is as much of a necessity as food, almost. The law fixes it so a man can eat-or go to the bathroom-why doesn't it take care of my problem? As it is, it's just that-my problem-but the law won't allow me to solve it ... "
The pattern of Charles' sex manifestation is set beyond remedy-indeed, was finally molded years ago. He has learned a great deal in his experience, is excessively cautious (this has become integrated as an acquired facet of his abnormality) and is confident he'll never be caught again. However, every time he peeps without being caught, he's using up the statistics in his favor which exist in the law of averages.
Charles' affliction was definitely contracted during his childhood. The misguided parental policy which impressed upon him a concept of sex as dirty and shameful and characterized women as untouchable permanently warped his psyche. Despite the inferred approbation of sex in marriage, Charles' mental processes gradually built up a barrier to coital activity which solidified to the point that, as a young adult, he was unable to perform his normal sexual function when an attractive and desirable partner offered him the opportunity. By the time Charles finished high school he was beyond repair, in all probability. At best, psychiatric mending is a patchwork effort which quite often comes unstuck again. It has been estimated that our most prodigious geniuses employed less than twenty percent of the estimated capacity of the normal human brain. What lesser percent do we normal humans use-yet what infinitesimal percentage of what we know of it is true?
It might have been that, had Charles been frank with Virginia, she might have persisted in her efforts and established a new base for him in matters of sex. It is improbable that his proclivity for peeping could ever be uprooted, but Charles might have been equipped with a second arrow for his quiver, but this is a highly conjectural theory. The forces of Charles' early indoctrination by his parents and his initial sexual adventure at the burlesque pointed him in the direction that made sexual gratification a follow-on to the stimulation of what his eye beheld. It is highly probable that he was irretrievably excluded from the ranks of the sexually normal with that incident. He felt excitement at kissing Virginia-responded to her femininity-but more intimate contact sapped his desire in response to his childhood conditioning.
Imprisoning Charles is no solution-unless the state wishes to keep him locked up forever. He assesses his incarceration as what it actually is-a retaliatory move by the state against him for violating one of its rules. In the same patterning of reasoning which took the path of least resistance around his parentally induced mental block, Charles has concentrated his not-inconsiderable intelligence on the problem of not being caught again. Undoubtedly this will happen-but it is-likely to be a long time before it happens. Charles' condition is pathological. He does not run a fever; his skin does not break out in lesions; there is no interference with the normal functions of his physical entity nor is he physically incapacitated by his affliction ... but he is a sick man, as well as a criminal.
While it is commonly and casually supposed that most Peeping Toms follow the male-spying-on-fe-male pattern, this is not according to the facts. Many homosexuals and latent homosexuals suffer from the same compulsion to voyeuristic activity, the object of their desire being the sight of male sex organs. In many individual cases, the peeper has never participated in a homosexual act-some may never-but none will admit any homosexual tendency with regard to his make-up. In some instances, the individual may have had only a fleeting homosexual experience in youth and his peeping is a result of the inner conflict between two sexual sides of his personality.
Ralph E. grew up in a strict Protestant environment in his home in the Pacific Northwest. His father was both domineering and demanding, making a point to impress on Ralph the importance of manliness and leading a clean, Christian life. Ralph recalls there was little warmth in his father's attitude toward him; consequently he turned toward his mother early in childhood. Events made him even more dependent on his maternal parent and Ralph describes himself as having been tied to his mother's apron strings....
The death of Ralph's father intensified the closeness between mother and son. After his passing, his mother became overly protective of him and he recalls that he was seldom out of her sight. Jim was ten when he lost his father and his mother asked him to share her bed at night because she was lonely. Ralph remembers waking one night soon after this began, pressed close to his mother's body and experiencing an erection. He was confused and embarrassed when she took hold of his penis and tried to turn away from her. However, his mother held him close, comforting him with assurances that it was alright-it was only natural for a young boy to become erect in this fashion. She began to stroke him and caress him and Ralph remembers how excited he became, his breathing accelerated and his heart beating wildly. When his excitement became apparent to his mother, she reassured him again that his arousal was only natural and normal and told him to relax and let her take charge of him. She turned Ralph onto his back and masturbated him to orgasm.
The incident was burned into Ralph's mind and, after the cessation of his excitement, his guilt began to grow. He took care to avoid it happening again because, in his mind, sexual activity between mother and son was something totally taboo and monumentally sinful ... His mother, however, did not let the matter rest. One night, holding Ralph close, she bared her bosom and asked him to suck on it, pretending he was a baby. In the light of adult knowledge, Ralph feels sure she experienced orgasm, telling him afterward it was "very nice" and told him he should do this for her now and then to "relieve her tensions."
While Ralph loved his mother and would do anything for her, these contacts repulsed him. He never allowed her to know it but secretly longed for the day he might return to his own room for sleep. When Ralph turned fifteen, his mother began seeing a man with whom she had become acquainted and Ralph got his wish to go back to his own room. His mother's requirements of him ended and, that summer, he asked to be allowed to go away to camp and his mother agreed the experience would be good for him.
At camp, Ralph was assigned a cabin with an older boy. It was equipped with a double bed and, at bedtime, when Ralph was getting on his pajamas, the older boy got into bed naked, saying he preferred to sleep in the nude and suggesting Ralph try it. Nothing happened that night or the next, Ralph relates, but then:
"The third night Bob began asking me a lot of questions about my sex life, wanting to know such things as if I'd ever slept with a girl-which I assured him I hadn't. Then he wanted to know if I masturbated and I confessed that, now and then, I did. He replied that I'd gone two nights without it and he doubted I was man enough. Then he pulled the sheet back to show me his erection in the moonlight; took my hand and put his (penis) into it, asking me if that didn't feel like a real man's.
"By this time, I was erect-probably from all the talk about sex-or maybe seeing Bob's had helped cause it. Anyhow he reached over and took mine in his hand, commenting that it felt good. I tried to remove my hand from his but he made me keep it there, playing with me slowly until I got so excited I was panting and gasping. When I came to a climax, it was great but I told him it was 'alright.' Then he lay back and told me it was my turn, taking my hand and showing me how he liked it done.
"Later we began talking about it. I told him I didn't feel right because it was what homosexuals did and he laughed, saying I was crazy. Masturbating each other didn't make us homosexuals, he explained, saying it was more fun than being with a girl. Girls were dirty and carried disease, according to him. Well, this seemed logical enough to me and we repeated almost every night of the month I spent at camp."
Several weeks after his return home, Ralph saw that Bob had been arrested for homosexual activities with young boys. Upon reading this, Ralph was again seized by guilt because of his experiences with Bob; and feeling his initial feeling had been correct ... that what he and Bob did were acts of homosexuality, for which he held complete distaste. Ralph had been highly incensed when one of his schoolmates had called him a sissy, saying he was queer. Also, his mother had referred to a woman acquaintance, scornfully, saying she suspected her of being a homosexual. This, to Ralph was a condition to be despised.
At about eighteen, Ralph had his first sexual experience with a girl-had dated Joan several times. One night, at a party, Joan got hold of some liquor, drank too much and ended up drunk. On their way home, she reached over, unzipped Ralph's trousers and took his penis out, taking it in her mouth. The action shocked Ralph and-in Joan's condition-worried him and he tried to free himself. Nausea overcame Joan, from the drink she'd had, and she was sick to her stomach before she could straighten up and lean out of the car.
Not only was Ralph shocked, but Joan's becoming sick revolted and disgusted him. Bob's remark about girls being dirty came to mind and Ralph found himself agreeing with the sentiment, heartily. He threw his suit away and showered twice before going to bed, resolved he would never date another girl.
Ralph was fond of tennis and played through high school; then was invited to join a tennis club his senior year. As he received coaching from a veteran, he tried to play every day possible during the week. Then the coach suggested he come in on week-ends if he could spare the time; Ralph was progressing but it would sharpen his game to go against some of the mature players.
The locker room was a bee-hive on Saturdays and Sundays and Ralph played two sets the first Saturday and then went into the locker-room to change. When he stepped into the shower, he relates he found himself surrounded by naked men. "I'd been in the shower with the kids around my age before, but twelve or so grown men was something I'd never experienced. Some were leaning against the wall, waiting for a shower stall.
"I couldn't keep my eyes off their organs and I felt myself beginning to get erect, hastily returning to my locker and getting into walking shorts. Then, for some reason, I got my shoes and socks and went back to a bench where I could see into the shower room to put them on. I hadn't planned it-but all of a sudden I was doing it. I lurked around the area where I could peep into the shower a couple of hours, pretending to be concentrating on a magazine which had an article on tennis in it.....
"That night, I dreamed about what I'd seen, the penises clear in my fantasies. I woke up with an erection and my hand was holding it. I was excited and I masturbated twice, thinking about the scene in the shower room again."
Ralph wasn't obvious about his interest in the shower room and got so he could shower without worrying about an erection. But he kept lingering in the locker-room and always in a position where he could see the naked bathers. A Club member who was a homosexual spotted his interest and began to stalk him. He knew better than to make a pass at any of the men in the club, but Ralph looked like a possible contact.
'I'll call him Frank," Ralph relates. "One Sunday there was a special match booked and there wasn't a person in the locker-room and I was about to give up and leave when Frank came in. I decided to shower before I left and, when I was in the stall, Frank came in. He was naked, too, and reached out to take my penis in his hand. He smiled and asked me if it didn't feel good and put my hand on his. When he started rubbing mine, it did feel good and I got excited. He said we had to be careful not to be seen and suggested we go to his apartment.
"When we got to his place," Ralph recalls, "his whole attitude changed. He told me to strip down and he'd give me a rub-down. When he'd rubbed my back, he turned me over and started manipulating my (penis). When I was fully erect and excited, he went to the end of the table and, turning me on my side, made me perform fellatio. I didn't want to but he got tough. When he climaxed, he made me lie there while he did it to me. I didn't enjoy it much, all I wanted to do was get away from him but I couldn't. He even hit me once and I seemed to relax a little. I was afraid of him and that excited me more. Finally I reached an orgasm while he was (fellating). Then he bent me over the table and (sodomized) me which hurt like hell and made me bleed. I was glad to get away from there and I decided it wasn't for me.
"I tried dating girls again; even tried intercourse with one of them but it bombed out. The girl was willing-she was ready for any guy in pants-but I couldn't get an erection. I went back to watching the shower room at the club and finally, one of the members got me aside and told me they thought it best I resign. I wasn't about to argue-he was very kind but he told me the club frowned on such interest by males in other males..."
Ralph's next effort at voyeurism was in a succession of public wash rooms-hotel, bus station, airport and department store. He was arrested on suspicion of homosexual activity; was released for lack of evidence. The janitor at the bus station had pointed him out to a policeman, telling the officer Ralph had been hanging around the washroom at regular intervals.
Ralph joined the YMCA, and was picked up by one of the residents who was a homosexual and caught him masturbating in the shower room; he threatened to turn Ralph in if he didn't go to his room with him. At the conclusion of this experience, Ralph determined he'd reached a new low, but he couldn't shake his fascination for male sex organs and his masturbation fantasies concerned these, entirely. He next tried spying on people in a trailer court and when he caught a couple in intercourse, would imagine it was his body being penetrated and would masturbate with exceptionally vigorous climax.
A special officer who patrolled the trailer court area at infrequent intervals spotted him one night, calling a police prowl car and then holding Ralph until he was in custody. Because of his previous arrest on suspicion of homosexual activity, the court was not lenient and Ralph got six months and a $500 fine....
It is apparent that Ralph is homosexual, but even in this inclination, he seems to be more confused than confirmed. His only satisfactory sexual release seems to be through masturbation while watching male sex organs. Facetiously, it may be observed that, for Ralph, the only situation which fits his desires is that of an invisible man in the men's showers. Although he denies his homosexuality, it is evident through his own experiences that-while he does not enjoy homosexual acts-he is incapable of enjoying heterosexual activity. His masochistic bent makes it hardly-likely he will ever take the initiative in seeking out another male who might be to his liking.
Ralph is deeply confused. Denied the normal sexual experiences of the average young boy; forced by a domineering father to turn to an over-protective mother, Ralph began to identify with the feminine to be the further confused by his mother's overt sexual activity, which instilled in him a repugnance for sexual contact with females. Further, the sense of guilt engendered by his mother's unfortunate action, projected in Ralph's consciousness to further estrange him from desire for female partners.
His initial experience in homosexuality had a lasting effect upon Ralph, evidenced by his continued professed aversion to homosexuality and his rationalization of his conduct with the older boy. Though not actively seeking homosexual activity, he did not refuse when Frank propositioned him at the tennis club. His experience with Joan no doubt put the finish to any possibility Ralph might have muddled through to an eventual acceptance of heterosexual activity. He was ripe for homosexual experience when he encountered Frank. His admission that his fear of Frank only heightened his excitement is significant.
There is no doubt of Ralph's being a Peeping Tom-his criminality is a matter of record-his future, in his confused, unidentified attitudes does not seem an enviable one.
While the case histories cited thus far in this chapter have dealt with individuals whose experience reflects a parental domination in the matter of sex orientation in childhood, The Institute for Sex Research findings indicate that among the sex offenders studied, the great majority indicated that most of their early sex information came from their contemporaries, their acquaintances and their friends. It has long been the widely-held opinion that there is, probably, no more inaccurate, misleading and dangerous source of information on this subject. It does have one advantage. It is so variable, contradictory and illogical that it does, in some cases, contribute something akin to its own antidote-if a youngster believes all of it, he has the best chance of escaping the peril of getting "hung up" on one basic idea. There's not that much unity of opinion among young people, which might 'brain-wash' an individual with the resultant path leading to deviation or inhibition.
From a practical standpoint, there is little to be said for the parental source of sexual information. Most opposition to sex education in schools springs from a fear of sex-the feeling that information on the subject may lead to participation. This fear is parental in source, thus the reluctance of most parents to undertake the sexual orientation task. There is also a misconception in the minds of many parents which holds that children are completely devoid of sexual information-our behavioral codes demand that this highly unlikely, nay impossible condition, be described as "innocence." The very use of the word immediately convicts the adult of regarding sex as a sin.
Thus, the atmosphere in which parental sex information exists is an unpleasant one, not-likely to produce good results. The situation-with regard to a child being considered "innocent" of sexual knowledge-has already called the third strike on the parent-instructor before he or she steps up to the plate. The fact that children do acquire information concerning sex-and usually long before the parents are moved to do anything about it on their own-has already activated the pattern of secrecy the child follows with regard to things sexual and from this depository, the parent is invariably shut out.
There is no possibility that one parent out of ten combines the factors of a fully happy and satisfactory sexual adjustment with his or her mate-a practical attitude with regard to the sexual functions and manifestations-an unbiased or unemotional view of sex in its many facets-sufficient knowledge of the maturation progress in the individual child-nor enough teaching ability to qualify as an instructor in anything, let alone in this highly critical and tremendously emotional area.
No one would concede, for instance, that a father who was devoted to golf and spent some time at it without appreciable progress-being best described as a duffer who couldn't break a hundred without a sizeable handicap-will ever be able to teach his son the game and set him on the road of the touring pros. This is just not acceptable in the practical view of things as they are. Yet, for the most part, parental instruction in sex matters is in the hands of those who, quite often, may not have as much demonstrated ability as the above duffer.
So, the parent may step into what he or she considers, from the outset, a disagreeable task; immediately being excluded from the secret store house the child maintains; approach the task as an authoritarian imposing his or her will on an inferior; and proceed-possibly recognizing there is no rapport-to stumble and fumble around to no effective purpose ... except to further strengthen the bonds of secrecy which already secure what the child has already found out. Kids can be pretty cruel in their assessments-many parents might be appalled at the reaction of the young to their inept attempts to instruct them about sex.
To this point, the situation is of the classic military description: SNAFU. The description pretty generally fits any usually-existing condition in human experience and so the individual child is left to sort out the mess to the best of his or her individual ability. The truly terrible hazard is contributed by those parents who approach sex instruction as a brain-washing project, continually exposing a child (before he has acquired much, if any, information) to a running reiteration of warning against a certain thing or things until (as in the case of Charles M. in this chapter) it builds a Frankenstein monster which destroys the individual it was hopefully and misguidedly thought to protect.
The Kinsey data indicate that the great preponderance of sex offenders had acquired their early sexual information from their peers, friends and acquaintances; however in this classification they differed little from the control group. The peepers were only a couple of percentage points below the overall incidence of the imprisoned with regard to the source of sexual information. It seems remarkable that, with regard to comparing the sources of sex information for both the group in and out of prison, very little of it came from parents.
While the peepers, largely conform to the overall preponderance in the source for sexual knowledge, about twice as many of them had such information from their fathers as from their mothers. This seems to be the only notable "bulge" in an otherwise pretty flat array of figures and the only conjecture it inspires here is that the male proclivity for that which the eye produces in sex experience might have colored the information they sought to pass on.
It would seem apparent to the most casual observer that there is a massive confusion existing with regard to everything concerning sex in our society. With the wide variation in existing sexual statutes from state to state, the wide divergence and emotionally-held concepts of "right and wrong" which privately exist, the teeming profusion of differences among individuals in the impacts and impressions derived from the same or differing facts of sex, it's not at all strange that some of us are in prison for misuse or misinterpretation of sexual facts.
Among the ranks of criminal voyeurs, homosexuality is present in a little more than half the individuals. There is no way of knowing what the proportion might be in the population, considered as a whole. Suffice it to say, that the aberration of peeping is not confined to any particular segment of offenders or un-apprehended participants. It might be that the additional burden of a homosexual condition, added to the compulsion to peep, may have contributed to the imprisonment of those numbers among the populace so additionally burdened.
The only thing we have for certain is the fact that peepers are of both heterosexual and homosexual persuasion and, most often, the latter classification resists and denies its involvement or preference for homosexual practices. It may well be that, in those individuals still at large, the latent homosexual urge may find much of its gratification in peeping-by this means averting actual physical participation in relations which they profess an aversion.
The unfortunate thing, for such problem people, is that the danger of falling into the criminal classification is ever-present. Their choice is a nothing. They can strive with all their might to repress their compulsive urges-and this, according to the best psychiatric authority, will bring them to the status of neurotics. Usually denied the capability for heterosexual participation and encountering at least surface aversion to homosexuality, personally-what can they do but peep if they refrain from the other "solutions" to their problem?
Such unfortunates are in a position similar to the man with impaired vision who cannot find his way out of the powder magazine-without lighting a match.
Beyond whatever else the eye of the compulsive peeper may see, there is the grim, forbidding bulk of prison walls, waiting for him....