Chapter 3
THE NOT-FLEETING LOOK
In the acquisition of impressions concerning sex by the very young, "the seeing eye" operates much like the Persian poet's description of "the moving finger." Having recorded the impression, it moves on, leaving an indelible impression behind. The secrecy in which adults shroud sex in attempting to hide it from children evidently is contributing considerable damage to psyches of children at the same time parents think they're doing the right thing by shielding their young from any knowledge (or taint) of sex information.
Sex information may be divided into two classifications. One of these is the store of fact and/or imagine a child acquires through discussion with his peers. This may range in accuracy all the way from "if you do it, you'll get a baby," to "you can get a baby just from kissing a boy" or "if you do it with someone older than you are, it gives you a disease." The second classification of sex information is bounded by sensation and secrecy. It consists of what the individual has experienced via the senses and such conclusions as experience and matching information from discussion make worthy of retention.
While it is impossible to determine the extent of damage to adult psyches which stems from initial, childhood upsets rooted in sexual experiences, casual manifestations indicate there must be considerable. It is notable that, while newspaper reports chronicle the continuous desire for "full and frank" dialogues concerning troublesome situations on the diplomatic fronts of world situations, there seems to be far less sentiment demanding the same treatment for factors in our lives which are equally troublesome to the individual. While there is emerging some agitation for sex education in the educational curricula, a long-time observer of American customs cannot but have the feeling it is not totally sincere. Succeeding generations of parents, encountering more complicated personal situations in the task of progressing in the existing socio-economic environment, may sense this as a peripheral requirement. As such they may support it, mildly, feeling it is a progressive manifestation they must make. Secretly, however, most feel this is something which should remain a parental responsibility-a responsibility which they shirk, bungle, ignore-or cope with in varying degrees of efficiency.
Marjorie Y., a vivacious blonde in her early thirties, laughingly confided:
"The very first thing I remember about sex was climbing a pole. Actually, it was a slanted iron pipe frame in our back yard. It had three swings and a slide attached to it. I discovered sex at the age of six. Prior to that (and afterwards) I had plagued my daddy to take me in the shower with him. He did so, but I remember he wore under-shorts while we were bathing. One day, I tired of playing on the swings and the slide and, for no reason I can remember, tried to climb one of the pipe legs which supported the cross-piece to which all the stuff was attached. I didn't make much progress toward the top the first time. It was awfully hard work and, really, I don't know why I tried it a second time, except it was that I'd seen boys climb it and it seemed something worthwhile doing.
"So, I tried again, and this time I wrapped my legs around the pipe and tried to struggle upward. I didn't make much more progress but I quickly became aware of a most pleasurable sensation between my legs. So, I kept on climbing until I had to let go and rest. Then, I tried again and once more experienced the good feeling.
"It never occurred to me to touch myself there; mother had always headed off any tendency on my part to do this, and I evidently accepted the implication that this was harmful. But, climbing the pole was something else again and I got to be a whale of a pole-climber. Whenever mother came out into the yard, I'd skin up to the top, touch the cross-bar and skin down again, to show my proficiency. She applauded my accomplishment and I kept it that way-I had the feeling she wouldn't approve of what was really happening-but I had a lot of fun, climbing that pole.
"That exercise led to a lot of other things. I learned now to get that same feeling lying in bed, sitting in a chair-I guess I was about eight or nine before I had an orgasm, but I worked up to it so gradually that it didn't shock me. Believe me, I filed that discovery away in my head to enjoy secretly. By this time, I had begun playing with some of the boys in the neighborhood who were younger than I and one afternoon, Warren and I had begun roughhousing each other. It was a sort of rough-and-tumble wrestling match without much form or pattern; we were just tumbling over each other. Warren's leg got between mine and I got the old familiar electric shock. You can guess what happened. Poor Warren was more than ready to stop before I was but I had a whole new thing to think about.
"I got pretty expert at wrestling Warren and Tommy and, since I was older than either of them, I didn't have much trouble "getting them down." I always managed to get one of their legs clamped between my thighs. Then, I could tickle them to make them kick ... ! "
Marjorie went on to relate that she met her Waterloo in an older boy-he was about thirteen but small for his age-who moved in next door. A well-mannered boy, Marjorie's mother took a liking to him. His parents also being Navy (Marjorie's father was a naval flying officer) the mothers of Marjorie and Ronnie felt no concern in leaving the children together for afternoon shopping expeditions or calls on other friends-even for an occasional bridge afternoon.
"When I knew Ronnie a few days, I decided to challenge him to a wrestling match," Marjorie recalls. "He sort of laughed it off at first."
" 'Girls can't wrestle' he pooh-poohed. This only made me more determined, so I began to tease him. Mother called to tell me she and Ronnie's mother were going to the commissary and we went in to be instructed as to what we could or could not do-there were cokes in the ice-box-and don't muss the house, play quietly if you come indoors', etc. After they drove off, I took Ronnie into the garage to show him a tumbling mat my Daddy had rolled up there. When it rained, he unrolled it and it was soft to play on.
"By this time, I was becoming obsessed with wrestling with Ronnie and I think the tumbling mat sold him. Anyhow we started out and, in no time, I was flat on my back, kicking and protesting it wasn't fair. So, gallantly, Ronnie gave me an other chance-with the same result, only this time, he landed between my outflung legs. For the first time, as I struggled under him, I felt that good sensation in my you-know-what and I really started to go to town.
"Ronnie, however, had different ideas. He raised up, holding me down with his hands on my shoulders, supporting himself on his knees, and breaking up my play-house. However, he was looking downward and I quickly found out why. My skirt was up to my waist, and my loose panties had pulled aside so my secrets were open to his gaze.
" 'Let me up!' I gasped, somehow thinking things had gone haywire but Ronnie reached down and squeezed me with his fingers-and that good feeling soared again. I relaxed, as much as I could, and watched what he was doing. He could tell I was enjoying it, and kept on until I was tensing and stretching, close to orgasm. At this point, he removed his hand and sat back on his haunches."
" 'I didn't know girls could do it,' he said."
" 'Do what?' I asked, struggling to sit up and cover myself.
"'(Masturbate), ' he replied. 'You don't have a (penis). '"
" 'What's that?' I asked from the depths of my ignorance.' Ronnie proudly unzipped his trousers while I watched him produce his treasures. " 'Want to see me do it?' he asked. I shrugged. What did I know? He proceeded to demonstrate to my fascinated eyes. When, after a short interval, he took his hand away his (penis) was standing straight up and making little jerking movements. I was both entranced and horrified-maybe scared would be a better word. "'Feel it,' he offered magnanimously. I did so, with reluctant but curious fingers. " 'Now, pull down on it,' he instructed. I did, marveling at the shiny, purple ball which emerged..."
Marjorie and Ronnie continued the surreptitious experiments, undiscovered by their parents, proceeding from complete examination of each other and masturbation together. When Ronnie suggested he penetrate Marjorie, it met with considerable reluctance on her part, but she agreed to try it. She didn't receive much pleasure from the coital attempt, but later reports that another try did produce that "good feeling."
By the time Marjorie was nearing eleven, she and Ronnie were separated when her father was transferred to another station. By this time, Marjorie was intimate with two girls in her class at school (not to the point of sexual experimentation but to discussion and conjecture about sex). When she advanced facts from her experience in these discussions, the other girls demanded to know how she knew and, since Marjorie was not inclined to reveal the source of her information, she soon stopped talking and mostly listened.
"The one thing which seems to remain with me," she reported, "Or-really there are two things: every time I pass a playground with those pipe stands for equipment, I have a really furtive, sexy feeling. The other is that the sight of a male's sexual equipment really sends me into orbit. Either erect or relaxed, it really turns me on. I've been had on at least three occasions I had no intention of being, simply because the boy unfastened his trousers and produced his organ..."
Strange and wonderful effects are produced by the combination of childhood discovery of sexual sensations, coupled with the sense of sight. One man who was a foot fetishist (though not morbidly so) relates that he always receives sexual stimulus from the sight of women's nether extremities. He has very strict standards as to the conformation of feminine legs and feet-the legs must be rounded, full and shapely; the feet must be small with high-arched insteps; and he only enjoys this stimulation when the extremities are clad in long, sheer hose and high-heeled pumps.
"I could never figure this out," he said. "Matter of fact, I never tried. I just accepted it as part of my make-up, I guess you'd call it. Then, later, when I began reading about the psychology of sex, I was surprised to find there was a definite name for it-and that other people had the same response I did to the sight of girls' legs. I remember once in a doctor's office (I'd gone in to have a cast taken off a broken arm) the doctor had been held up by surgery at the hospital and I had to wait for nearly forty-five minutes past my appointment time. While I was sitting there, a good-looking woman-I judged to be between twenty-five and thirty-came in and sat down across the room from me. She had the sharpest set of gams I ever saw; was wearing sheer nylons that gave just a hint of pink luster to her legs, and a pair of sling pumps (red, incidentally) which fit her perfectly. I don't usually like open shoes-generally they don't fit a woman's feet well. Her heel either sticks out over the end or doesn't quite reach it and this is unattractive to me.
"But this gal's legs were a delight. She had small feet and her insteps were high. When she crossed her legs, after she sat down, I could peek around my magazine and get a load of a little naked thigh above her hose. I watched for about twenty minutes-until the doctor came in-during which time she re-crossed her legs twice and I could see clear up to her panties. When the nurse called me, I had such an erection I was afraid to get up, but she was standing, holding the door open for me, so I just held the magazine over the displacement of my pants until I relaxed a little in the treatment room, waiting for the doctor ... "
Voyeuristic adventures such as this may be dismissed as less than worthy or worthwhile by many. The fact remains that the eye provides for many, a powerful stimulant to the sex urge. Usually, this occurs in the male-the female is the sex symbol in our culture-and for a female to receive much stimulation from chance or casual optical encounters would almost require that she have homosexual or bi-sexual leanings (or be of this persuasion).
"The foot fetishist, enlarging on his conditioning and experience revealed that he believed he had traced his predilection to its source.
"Wondering and remembering-after my reading-it came to me that my younger brother was allowed to play on the floor on a quilt spread out for him. My mother and her friends would sit, chatting and visiting, while little Carlton played on the floor. They used to laugh at him for some of his antics. Lying on his stomach, sometimes he'd arch his back and rock and rock, cooing and gurgling until he got tired and stretched out flat and relaxed. Since the style of dress in those days hadn't generally included the casual pants women wear today, women most often wore dresses, hose and heels and my mother usually dressed this way. I probably picked up my preference for women's legs during this same period in my life-from that position on the floor, I guess that's about all of them you could see..."
It would appear from the experience of many people that there is an ineradicable impression or impressions left in the mind from earliest sensations connected with sex. It is entirely possible these may occur before the individual has passed from the stage of inimagine. Certainly in this case it would be a possibility. When one considers the multitude of differences in secret sex attitudes which are multiplied by the differences in multitudes of people, it should not be surprising that this powerful drive may give rise to any number of fanciful connections, desires and reactions.
"I didn't know what it was all about," confessed Ralph W. in discussion of his early sexual experiences. He had been caught in the act of coitus with a seventeen-year old girl in the basement of the church of which both sets of parents were congregation members. The minister, displaying great restraint considering the tenets of the sect and the sacrilege involved, suggested that both youngsters be brought under treatment of a psychologist. Ralph was only four months older than Nedra, but he had passed his eighteenth birthday. The circumstances of the discovery were peculiar: the minister, returning to his office after services were done and the congregation departed, spied the janitor standing on a chair, peeping over a transom into a Sunday School room. These led off a long corridor and the janitor's impaired hearing did not warn him of the minister's presence....
"All I know was I wanted to make it with her worse than any girl in school. I was sitting in math class one day when the girls went out for physical ed. They wore these short-skirted uniforms and I spotted Nedra in hers and it was like I found something I'd been looking for a long time. I remembered seeing her in the halls, but she didn't make much of an impression on me. She dressed the way the rest of the girls did and she looked sort of lumpy. She never wore any make-up-our church is strict and most of the kids aren't allowed to-anyhow seeing Nedra in that gym-suit made me so excited I could hardly get through the rest of the day. I hadn't done much more than say hello to her, but her legs and bottom and breasts all seemed to add up to something I'd never known she had.
"I went home that night and could hardly get through my homework for thinking of her. I can see her, now, with that springy walk, her body was the most exciting thing I'd ever seen. I made an effort to find her at school the next day, but she generally knocked around with a group of girls and I couldn't find a way to get her alone to talk to her. I wasn't about to let those other nosy crows know anything.
"Finally, Friday it was by then, I spotted her in the hall, walking alone and I sidled up beside her and said hello. She seemed surprised and I tried to put my best foot forward. She didn't act like she was offended, either, and this helped. I tried to make a date for a coke with her after school but she had to meet Martha and Aggie and I passed.
"Sunday I saw her at church and got to talk to her for a few minutes. It's about the only place you have any freedom, where our house is concerned. My folks are so strict, I almost have to ask permission to go to the bathroom. Anyhow, I got across to Nedra that I liked her a lot and she agreed to have a coke with me Monday after school. I felt really happy that she'd agree to ditch the harpies to see me, and went around all day in a rosy cloud.
"We went to a drive-in and sat under the awning in my jaloppie. I'd earned the money for it, working during vacations, but it was strictly for school transportation. I wasn't allowed to take it out at nights. I talked fast while we were having our cokes and Nedra got the message of how I felt about her. In spite of how strict my parents were, I'd gotten in a few licks about sex on my own. Before I got cut off the basketball squad my sophomore year, I'd made a trip with the squad and three of us sneaked out and went to a cat house. I'd secretly been pinching on my vacation salary and had about fifty bucks saved up.
"Anyhow, we followed the advice of some of the older boys and masturbated before we went in and I got a good workout. I was lucky I guess, in getting a girl I liked and, after the first time, I paid for a second trip. The other guys were scared to wait for me but I didn't care. I figured it was now or never....
"Anyhow, the coach ,caught me coming in when he made bed-check. I really was sweating and he reamed me out until he found out what I'd done. He told me this was between us, but he was going to have to drop me from the squad and I clammed up about the other guys, insisting I'd been alone. He made me go down to the drug-store and get a prophylactic and use it and he dropped me off the squad two weeks later when he cut down the size.
"So, I knew what I wanted to do ... and Nedra and I, on the few opportunities we had to be together, began to love it up, pretty good. We had to meet and sneak and we were always looking over our shoulders. I'd wait for her somewhere we could hide in the shadows after youth meetings or school activities and we'd neck up a storm. I always went home with an ache and Nedra began to get into the act more as time went on. We almost got caught one night-the first time I took my (penis) out and put her hand on it. I was playing with her breast and was just about to orbit when these blamed kids came sneaking through the bushes, spying on us. It was dark enough they couldn't see, but it scared us silly and I booted one of them a hard lick in the rump and sent him yelling.
"By this time, we were nearly out of our minds. We were both scared, both pretty hot for it, but couldn't find the time or the place for it. Then this special drive came up at the church and there was a big meeting one afternoon after school. I volunteered to clean up, for no reason I guess than it would give me an excuse to be late getting home without getting chewed. After I finished, I went through the building and somehow, the feeling that I was alone there, sparked an idea. I searched every room that wasn't locked-and was happy as if I'd found buried treasure. One of the Sunday School rooms had a day-bed or couch in it and I got the idea that Nedra and I'd hide and wait until everybody was gone....
"I got one of my friends, who ran errands for a drug store in the afternoons, to get me some condoms and then I explained my plan to Nedra. She was scared at first, and refused, but finally agreed. I went around for several days so excited I couldn't talk right. Then, one Friday night, we were both going to this meeting of the youth group and I arranged with her to hide out back of this garage at a house next door to the church. There were thick bushes around it and it was a perfect spot.
"As for me, I told the lingerers goodbye, then went to the washroom and got into one of the toilet booths. If anyone came in, I was all prepared to pull my feet up-but nobody did. I waited until it was all quiet in the building, then I sneaked out, after checking the whole place to make sure there was no one there....
"I got Nedra back in, set the lock on the door and led her down to the schoolroom corridor. There was enough light corning in from the corridor light they left on at nights so I could see. My heart was up in my throat; I felt like I was choking. Nedra's breasts, under her sweater, were tossing up and down with her excited breathing. We both talked in hoarse whispers and I kissed her to make her stop talking. She was scared and wanted to leave. I finally felt her arms go around me and backed her against the couch as she gave a little moan.
"I was shaking so, I could hardly stand it. When we were sitting on the couch, I started to pull her sweater up and she tried to stop me, but stopped right away. I got those beauties out of the bra and squeezed one of them. Then I came to my senses when she jumped and I knew I'd hurt her. I started to kiss them and the nipples got stiff right away. I leaned Nedra back against the cushions and started kissing her, one hand on a tight breast, the other pulling her skirt up. She didn't resist when I started taking her panties off and pushed her back on the couch. I fumbled the box out of my pocket and opened my slacks to put on some protection and Nedra grabbed my erection as I knelt between those trembling thighs. As I remember, she didn't have too much hair, but she looked puffed up and ready.
"I felt like I was coming apart as she guided me.
I remembered to take it easy, but there didn't seem to be any barrier. I could feel Nedra tense as I slowly pushed and then those legs and arms went around me and I began to lose touch with reality. All I could feel was my hard (penis) and the tight hold of her body on it. I don't think I really believed it when the preacher opened the door, holding that stupid damn janitor by the arm and came into the room. When I became conscious of Nedra trying to get up and crying, I looked around and saw them. I think I said: 'God damn!' I don't remember clearly..."
The sequel to this occurrence was that Ralph rebelled completely against his rigidly disciplined life. He recognized that he would have to finish school in order to be able to make his way in the world and the morning after he got his high school diploma, his family called the police (at 6:40 AM) to report him missing. Two years later, his parents received a post card from him from Copenhagen with no information other than that he was well. The last word was from the police authorities in a western city notifying his parents that Ralph had been killed in a crash while attempting to escape police pursuit, driving a stolen car....
Certainly this is an unusual and extreme case. Tragedy is not encountered in life nearly so often as appeals to the lighter emotions because tragedy requires far stronger motivations-responses to and reactions against unbearable pressures. Oftentimes, to the young, some facts of life assume an importance far greater than adults assign to them. But it is difficult to recognize, in the fixed (and more or less ordered) world of grown-ups, that the questions of youth cannot be answered with the results of someone's experience other than the subject's.
In the foregoing, regrettable happening, Ralph's vision brought into focus the full force of desires which his strict and non-permissive home life had successfully caused him to suppress, up to that time. It is impossible to calculate the amount of force which will cause a human entity to explode. Most pressure vessels are equipped with safety-valves, and the human entity possesses relief mechanisms. When the safety-devices are thwarted or rendered inoperative because of rigid repression, the internal pressures, inevitably, seek to by-pass the obstruction.
The key impulse was triggered by Ralph's eyes-by the voyeuristic necessity which is in all of us. Seeing Nedra at a particular time, in. a particular light-so to speak-dressed a certain way and moving with a certain, (to him) irresistably-attractive grace, snapped a switch on the long-pent desires in a healthy, young male whose real error was allowing himself to be throttled by the discipline of his strict home-life. Most boys find early relief in secret self-eroticism but Ralph had been brainwashed with the belief that this would do him irreparable harm.
Often, the volatility of youth escapes the restraints of convention in even more violent rebellion. There is no doubt that the hungers of young males are difficult to curb in the face of temptations which are constantly in evidence. It would seem the tighter, stricter the family discipline, the greater the reaction of resilient youth ... the tighter the bonds, the greater the effort exerted to break them. The eyes of the young cannot be blinded nor blinkered to the fact that adult discipline is, largely, based on a philosophy of "do as I say, not as I do." Evidence of this practice is in plain view, on every hand ... and the eyes of youth are sharp, alert and retentive in matters of interest or which titillate their curiosity.
Psychotherapists hold the view that there are two sub-divisions to voyeurism and exhibitionism (conditions considered to be opposite sides of the same coin, so to speak). In the case of voyeurism, Dr. William Graham Cole states in his book "Sex and Love in the Bible":
"If sexual satisfaction is in some sense dependent upon seeing, so that the orgasm cannot be achieved without it, and if the urge to see is so strong that it breaks the bonds of rational prudence, resulting in the Peeping Tom, then a verdict of neurotic voyeurism must be returned.
"A pleasure in sexual sights of various sorts is perfectly normal, from the psychological point of view, providing that it is not the sine qua non of satisfaction and that it is obtained under more or less acceptable circumstances."
Thus, professional opinion indicates that determining the state of voyeurism as pathological in its condition requires an assessment of whether the condition in existence is such that it violates and not a natural code of behavior. In primitive times, man largely avoided marriage within his own horde or tribe; possibly from the demonstrated disadvantages of too-close breeding or from an instinctive aversion.
The usual practice was for primitive man, seeking a mate, to take her from another horde and-to this end-the prospective husband "scouted" other groups to shop for a satisfactory mate. His activity, of course, did not go un-noticed by the group under his surveillance. Constant vigilance against any and all outsiders whether animal or human was the order of those long-gone days. The result was that the wife-hunter might be adjudged unsatisfactory-with the result that the women of the horde being scouted were hidden from the peeper's view.
Again, he might be worthy of the chieftain's approval, in which case those females who desired mates were allowed to parade in plain view, making the most of their attractions-emphasizing their desirability in whatever manner was the accepted practice. The result being sought was that the watcher would covet one of the available women and initiate the foray which would end in the chosen woman's capture and abduction.
Thus, voyeurism and exhibitionism have roots which are nearly as old as human life. What contributes the difficulty is the proliferation of taboos which stem from antiquity's fear of sex and the codes attempting to regulate sexual feeling which still exist. So, while it is permissible and socially acceptable to look at a pretty girl on the street with undisguised admiration, watching her from a secret vantage point when she is not aware she is being observed is a breach of both custom and law. To this point, the worst which has happened is a violation of artificial conduct decrees.
Going one step beyond ... when, due to some mischance, voyeurism displaces the normal sexual manifestations, rendering the voyeurist incapable of normal sex relations, it is this development which leads the psychotherapist to class the condition as pathological-the subject being considered a sick man-or woman.
Betsy F. was precocious in sex. Evidently she had learned to masturbate as a tiny baby, rubbing herself against the mattress of her crib as she lay on her stomach. Her mother had reported the circumstances to her pediatrician: Betsy would roll over on her tummy and, arching her little back would begin to rock, continuing until red in the face and breathless, she was seized by tiny spasms and relaxed, content. Since any attempt to interfere brought on an angry fit of crying from the infant, the mother was considerably relieved when she was told that the best thing she could do was to ignore it. The baby would not perform the act to excess and the doctor would keep a close check on the genitalia to make sure. It was probably a thing which would be forgotten-outgrown-in the involved process of maturation.
The doctor's prediction was correct. By age 7, Betsy seemed to have forgotten the earlier habit in her new involvement in school and being busy with several other little girl playmates in her neighborhood. Then Betsy happened to spy her 11-year-old twin brothers naked in the bathroom. They had failed to close the door completely when they stripped to take a bath and Betsy was immediately fascinated by their activity. Neither boy had been circumcised, they were writhing and twisting with the sensation of baring the glans and rubbing the sensitive tips, one against the other. When they could no longer withstand the sensation, both boys proceeded to masturbate.
Betsy, perhaps in subconscious recall or in searching for an erectile organ of her own, began to palpate her vulva with the result that the pattern of inimagine was resumed, this time however, with digital assistance.
Thereafter, for perhaps a month, she spied upon her brothers at every opportunity; managing to catch them repeating their games. One of the boys discovered that dipping the glans in a jar of petroleum jelly greatly increased the fun and Betsy walked in on them, one evening, in the course of their play. Both being near orgasm at the instant she made her appearance-stark naked, like themselves and her fingers busy manipulating her own pouting organ, her brothers went on to completion, as did Betsy. Swearing her to secrecy in response to her demand to be allowed to examine their sexual equipment, a trio of conspirators was formed.
Betsy proved to be a welcome addition under repeated admonitions to keep the secret, her brothers repeating that their parents "would kill them" if they found out. Betsy learned to masturbate both boys and they her. On one occasion when there was no petroleum jelly available, Betsy repeatedly wet the organs of both by taking them into her mouth, to their delight. Continued explanation had led to all three attaining orgasm by oral means, though never as a simultaneous project.
By this time, Betsy was about eight-and-a-half, a happy child and a good student-as were her brothers. That spring, a 45-year-old widower moved into the house next door with his two daughters, both of whom worked daily at government jobs. He was a retired seafarer, holding a captain's papers; had been a ship's officer for twenty years. He was retired through injuries received in a shipboard accident which impaired his sight and sense of balance. Treatment had restored both, almost completely, following his retirement, but the captain had no need to return to sea; indeed, as he explained to Betsy's father, it would result in more red-tape and paper-work than he had any stomach for. He made friends among the fishing-fleet captains at the seaport town in which his family and Betsy's lived and between occasional deep-water trips-and gardening in his yard-he was enjoying life.
The two families were congenial neighbors and Betsy and the captain became good friends; the little girl being fascinated by the tall, gray-haired man; while, on his part, he was never too engrossed in his own projects to make Betsy a part of them when she came to visit. His yard was becoming a veritable fairy-land of bright blooms, by mid-summer and Betsy was highly responsive to the flowers.
The captain had become a sun-worshipper in the balmy southern California climate and had formed the habit of stretching out, nude, on a cot on his back patio. One morning in July, he neglected his usual procedure of latching the gate before stretching out for his sun-bath. Lying on his back, he dozed off to sleep in the gentle warmth and Betsy wandered into the yard.
Evidently some romantic dream had possessed his slumbers for, as the little girl spotted his nudity and slipped behind a hibiscus for concealment, his penis started to become erect. The sight made Betsy breathless and she began to search with her fingers beneath her skirt and into her panties to manipulate herself, which she did to orgasm, slipping away before her friend awoke to her presence.
"I made a peep-hole on the corner of the fence," Betsy recalled, "so I could peek at him when he'd take a sun-bath. Every time I saw him, almost, I'd indulge in self-gratification. I couldn't believe he was so huge ... it made me breathless with excitement!
"Then, for my birthday, I got a sleeping bag and pestered my folks to let me sleep out on our patio. Mother wouldn't let me at first, but I pestered her so, she finally gave in. My brothers were away at camp and she and daddy were going on an overnight visit to Riverside and my Aunt Gwen was coming to stay with me. I went over to see the captain, to tell him about it and he told me I was a brave girl. I felt very proud.
" 'Myra and I are driving up to San Francisco for a few days,' he told me. 'The Lieutenant she's engaged to is coming back from extended deployment, so Nardis will be home all alone.' "
"I promised to watch out for her. I liked both girls. Nardis was twenty-four and was a widow. Her husband had been an Air Force pilot who died in a jet crash two years before.
"Finally, things settled down for the night, Aunt Gwen saw me settled with my sleeping bag on a chaise and me snug inside it, warm robe and slippers (in case I had to come in) snug under the big umbrella, in case of fog. I finally went to sleep but the sound of a car in the driveway next door woke me and I heard Nardis' voice and a man's. I couldn't hear what she asked him, but he said: 'sure I'd love to...' and they went indoors. It was a warm night and there was no fog, the stars glittered like sparklers. I lay there and watched them, beyond the edge of the big umbrella for awhile, drowsing but I came wide-awake when I hard Nardis give a muffled squeal, followed by an excited laugh.
"An unexplainable sense of excitement came over me-and I got up and slipped into my robe and slippers to see what I could see. The picture window of the captain's house opened by a sliding glass door between patio and living room. The yard gate was unlatched and, as I came around the corner into the yard, I could see a crack of light between the drapes drawn across the glass door. As I got closer, I could see movement in the living room, and I heard Nardis' giggle again.
"Wondering at what I might see, my heart began to pound with excited anticipation as I sneaked up to the crack of light and put my eye against the glass. To my surprise, I could see the entire end of the living room-or by moving, could look through the length of the dining room into the kitchen. The man with Nardis was sitting on the sofa, and she was standing, bent over as he held her wrists, trying to get away.
" 'Chuck, stop it now, so I can fix us another drink,' she was protesting as she struggled. Her dress was hiked up in back to the tops of her hose and her bottom and torso were wiggling as she tried to pull away.
" 'Well, all right,' the man said, grinning, easing his grip and handing her his glass. 'But you know what would be more refreshing than a drink...' He dropped his hand to the division of his legs and squeezed himself. I could see a big swelling in his hand....
" 'Who said you were going to get that,' Nardis asked, tartly as she spun on her heels and went into the kitchen. She wasn't mad though, I could tell by the expression on her face as she passed by me going into the kitchen.
" 'Nobody, sweetie,' the man said, getting up to come into the kitchen with her. 'It was just my own idea...' He stepped up behind her as she was busy with ice, bottles and glasses, and pushed the swelling against her bottom. Nardis had a nice figure-my mother was always needling me to stop eating so much if I wanted to grow up to look like her. She giggled and tried to move as he shoved.
" 'Chuck, stop-you're making me spill...' she protested. He just tightened his grip and began to push against her more gently. I could see the ridge in his pants travel along the roundness of her bottom, hiking her dress up. When they'd finished fooling around in the kitchen, they took their glasses back in the living room and sat down on the sofa. Nardis crossed her legs and her dress rose well above her knees. The man started tickling the tops of her thighs with his finger tips and she giggled and tried to stop him, which just pulled her dress higher.
I felt myself choking and realized I'd almost forgotten to breath, so I took several deep breaths, quietly, looking around for something to sit on. A little upholstered stool with rubber feet on it the captain called my 'reserved seat' was right at hand. I silently moved it over so I could sit and watch. My heart jumped into my throat when I looked back in; the young man was kneeling on the couch and was kissing Nardis. Her head was forced back against the sofa-back and she was trying to pull his hand out from under her dress. She had crossed her legs, hooking a foot around her ankle and I could see her bare thighs and panties as she struggled.
"Finally he let her up, laughing as she slapped at his hands, and straightened her dress and her hair. "I'd have never invited you in if I'd known you were going to try to rape me ' she said. I could tell, still, she wasn't mad. He laughed.
" 'This isn't rape, it's a pleasure,' he laughed, taking one of her hands and pressing it against the swelling in his pants. Nardis snatched her hand back and slapped at his hands.
"'Chuck, you're a devil!' she snapped and he bent down and kissed her again.
" 'You like it, Nardis, I can tell...! ' he teased her.
" 'Oh! you...' she started to say and, still on his knees, he kissed her again. This time, he started to play around the swells of her bodice and Nardis didn't object. I could see her legs twist as he squeezed and rubbed. After awhile, he slipped one hand inside and, despite her resistance, worked one breast out of her dress. He bent his head and put his mouth on the nipple and Nardis laid her head back, her lower lip caught in her teeth and her legs twisting in pleasure.
"I was working to get inside my pajama pants and had to slip them down over my hips-but I didn't care. It was dark and nobody could see me and I began to play with myself. I was so excited, it felt marvelous. While Chuck was kissing Nardis breast, I saw him move his hand to his pants and start unfastening them. I could hardly concentrate on Nardis as she twisted and squirmed-my eyes were glued to what he was doing.
"When he took them out, I felt like my heart jumped in my throat again. He was standing, stiff and straight and jerking, much bigger than the captain, (testicles) too. He took Nardis' hand and put it on him and she tried to get away but he kept putting it back. I felt myself going and couldn't stop and, as my legs stretched out in climax, a flower pot scraped along the concrete and I didn't even notice until the waves had stopped rushing over me.
"Evidently, Chuck and Nardis hadn't heard. He was still kissing her bare breast and, by now, she was holding on to him and moving her hand as he began to slip his hand up under her skirt again. Nardis took both hands to try to hold his, but he pushed her down, on her back in spite of her struggles. Her head was away from me and I could see Chuck's hands stripping her panties down. He pulled her legs up, together, and slid them off, tossing them on the rug, then opened her legs again as she grabbed his erection and started to masturbate him furiously.
"He grabbed her hands away and I gasped as I saw her open and defenseless as he pulled his erection downward and began to search for her.
"'Please, Chuck!' Nardis said, and I could tell she was on the verge of crying. 'Chuck, you'll get me pregnant. Please don't do that ... "'
" 'Hell, Nardis, what do you suggest?' he asked, and I could tell he was angry. He was still holding it and began to rub it against her as she stiffened and tried to pull away.
" 'W-will you let me do it my way?' she asked, her voice shaking.
" 'Not with your hand, baby! Hell, I can do that myself!' She shook her head.
" 'That's not what I meant. I'll show you...' He let her up and sat down on the couch as Nardis sat on the floor between his legs. She was too low and asked for a pillow, getting on her knees on it. Then she took his erection in one hand and his testicles in the other, slowly lowering her head. I heard Chuck gasp as I began to rub myself again, the excitement and sensation building in me as I watched..."
"I climaxed again, shuddering and straining, feeling the cool glass against my face as I tried to keep my eyes focused on them. I must have dozed off, leaning against the plate glass door because I woke up with a start, a little while later, wondering where I was. Then I remembered, and sat up startled wondering where Nardis and Chuck were. Moving my head, I saw them in the kitchen. Nardis had taken off her dress and slip and put her panties back on. Chuck was fondling one bare bosom with one hand, holding a drink in the other. Nardis, in panties, hose and heels was pressing against him. He had only shorts, socks and loafers on and was whispering in her ear. She shivered and giggled and he began to urge her back to the living room.
" 'I'm scared,' she said, but she didn't look it. 'I never have...' "
" 'Aw, come on,' he urged, moving her into the living room to the couch. Kneeling he stripped down her panties as she lifted her hips, then moved between her legs. As his head disappeared between Nardis' thighs, she squealed softly, her head falling back, her fingers twining in his hair....