Case History 5
SUBJECT: Linda C. AGE: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Linda C. is an attractive brunette who struck me as being incredibly sensitive. It's sometimes hard to deal with patients who are as sensitive as Linda, especially when she's experienced such a grueling attack.
Linda has shoulder-length hair and a smile that lights up a room. Her face is beautiful and her cheekbones are high and delicately structured. It was very easy to see how her beauty could make her a victim, but hard to understand why anyone would want to hurt such a vision of loveliness.
When she came to see me she was wearing a turtle-neck sweater which showed off her rounded breasts, and also covered some of the neck-wounds she said she received during her somewhat brutal attack.
I swear, doctor, there's no place you can live in the world that's safe anymore. I've been going upstate to this summer home for the last eight years, and there was a time when you could leave your doors open all the time because nothing happened. There was a time when you could be out all night, alone, and you wouldn't have to worry about anyone attacking you or even bothering you.
That's all changed now. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to go there anymore because the thought of it scares me.
I might as well tell you all about that night. You're the only person I've ever told this to and I hope you won't tell anyone, especially my parents. They'd kill me if they knew that I was with Richard that night. Richard is this guy I used to see when I was upstate all the time but my parents never really liked him too much.
The night that I was raped was also the night that I lost my virginity, which is something they must never know. They think that this man, whoever he was, is the one responsible for my broken maidenhood, but I know that it isn't true.
I guess that Richard and I were leading up to fucking each other for the longest time. You see, I had been seeing him on the sly for almost two summers. The reason why I couldn't see him in front of my parents was because he's a different religion than I am and my folks are still into that trip.
We had been leading up to fucking each other for the longest time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I should have called it making love because I learned the difference between an animalistic fuck and making love that night.
Richard and I were parked in his car and we were petting, the stage we had worked our way up to. I remember feeling a chill in my pussy when he touched my breasts because my nipples were so stiff already. I was stroking his cock through his pants.
"Come on, Linda," he said, "I think we should go all the way."
"Richard, why should we?"
"This feels so good," he was saying. "I know that fucking is going to feel even better. Linda, I do love you and I want you to love me."
He moved his lips to mine, and as he did, I could feel his hand moving down to his fly. He pulled his fly open and then reached for his cock. When his long shaft was sticking out of his pants, he pulled my hand over so that I would start to massage him. I had touched his bare cock a few times and it still gave me a chill.
"Lick it a little first," he said, pushing my head down.
That was something I had never done, but I saw no harm in it. I moved my head down to his cock and started to lick him. I could smell this really terrific odor emanating from his cock hairs and that was acting as something of a stimulant for me. The deeper the fragrance got, the more aggressive I got.
We were sitting by our upstate lake, in the car, and the view was beautiful. Everything was so peaceful. As I sucked harder on his cock, I could feel him sliding his hand into my pants and panties, and finally touching my bare cunt.
I felt a shiver of pleasure running through my body when his finger hit my clit.
"Come on, Linda," he begged. "Look how hot your cunt is feeling. Why don't you just take the feeling all the way?"
I smiled at him, lifting my head from his cock. I had to admit that his dick had quite a terrific taste to it and the thought of having it inside of me was thrilling. I mean, I had actually felt heat from his cock and the idea that I could feel the same kind of heat in my pussy thrilled me.
"All right," I said to him. "All right, I'll do it."
As soon as I said that Richard started to pull his hand away so that he could rip off his own clothes. He was naked less than five seconds after I had given my okay. I had never seen him totally naked before.
His chest was so hairy and his whole body was drenched with sweat. I could easily understand it because my body was pretty sweaty, too.
"Come on," he said to me. "I got undressed and now you have to, also."
I opened my blouse slowly. Although he had felt my tits a hundred times, this was the first time I was going to let him actually see them. When he looked at my two round globes he gasped, then moved his mouth to one nipple and began to lick it.
I slid out of my pants while he flicked my nipple back and forth, and then Richard moved his hand to my brown cunt patch and began to pick at the hairs. When he let his fingers drift over my pussy lips, I thought that I was going to die from pleasure.
"Lay back," he said.
I did as he said and then he moved his mouth to my cunt and started to lick me. When he flicked my clit back and forth I could feel my pussy walls spasming and getting wetter and wetter, slightly. He seemed to love the taste of it for he was trying to dig his tongue deeper and deeper into me.
He only ate me for a few minutes. I could feel his cock brushing up against my leg once in a while and I knew that he was so horny. His cock was pulsating at times.
I was the one who finally told him I was ready. His tongue was doing a nice job on my cunt, but I wanted to be filled with his cock. When I told him that he started to ascend my body, until his thick dick was right next to my pussy. Then he slid his way into me and came against my hymen.
"Don't hurt me," I told him. "Please don't hurt me."
"It might hurt the first time," he said, "but I'll try to be as gentle as I possibly can, okay?"
He pulled his cock back just a little, and then he rammed himself into me. I could feel my hymen skin shattering open and there was a tremendous rush of pain and blood at the same time. Richard thrust his way in deep and I wrapped my legs around his ass and groaned. But he was pretty good at this kind of thing, I guess.
I mean, he rested inside of me until I told him that the pain had subsided. I could feel his cock throbbing in my cunt for a long time after entry, and then after I told him I was okay, he started to move in and out of me.
I could feel his long cock bone sliding over my clit and that made my whole body tingle with pleasure. I also loved it because he was kissing me on the lips the whole time and I know that kiss signified all the love that he had inside for me. He moved slowly, at first, and then I told him that I wanted it harder and harder, until he was ramming his cock in and out, slapping his balls against my ass.
I felt my pussy beginning to spasm. My nipples, meanwhile, were pressing against his hairy chest and I was feeling a great deal of pleasure from them. I could feel my orgasm on the rise and he started to laugh when it happened.
"I wanted you to come before I did," he said to me. "I wanted it so I'd be sure that you came. Now that you did, I know I can without worrying."
I'm glad he was concerned about something like that. Most men, so I've heard, fuck a woman until they come, never quite concerned with whether or not the woman comes herself. But Richard made sure I came, and then he didn't care when his cock started to pulsate and he was on the verge of coming.
When that happened and he exploded inside of me, I felt myself in the midst of a second, fully-satisfying orgasm, my whole body tingling along with it.
I arched my ass up off the car seat and slapped my belly against Richard's crotch. I'm telling you that it was the best moment of the orgasm. I could feel his whole body covering mine on the outside, and his spurting cock had full control of me inside. It was like every part of me belonged to him.
It was far-out, to say the least.
When we were finished, he just lay on top of me with his limp, sticky dick resting on my belly. He kissed me all over my face with these small dainty kisses, and I can't remember ever feeling warmer in my life.
"You see," he said, kissing my nose softly, "it wasn't that bad, was it?"
"No," I had to admit. "I wonder why we're always told that it's so bad. Really, I think that it's just about the best thing I've ever experienced in my life."
"I can tell that this is going to be a great summer," Richard said, and he moved his mouth down to my nipple and started to lick it. I could feel my hot brown dart being flicked back and forth by his eager tongue and all these pleasure waves were running through my body.
We didn't fuck again that night. For when Richard's cock got hard again, I wanted to taste him. I had sucked him a little and had tasted some of his come. There had been a few drops, and they had just made me want more. So I moved my mouth down to his cock and started to suck him for all he was worth. He was moaning like crazy, spreading his legs wider and wider so I could get a hold of his two hot balls.
In the meantime, he had moved around so that he was licking my cunt. Now that I was broken, I could feel his tongue pushing deeper and deeper into me, but he always made sure to give a little action to my tingling clit.
When I came it was like a flood, and I even remember Richard having to lick some of the come off of the seat because I had really wet it good. I don't even know how long we were in the car. We had started fucking around late at night when it was really dark, and it was still just as dark.
"Let me take you home now," he said to me.
"No. You really don't have to do that. I think I'd rather walk. It's not too far and I have some thinking I'd like to do."
"About you and me?" he asked, slipping into his clothes. I was doing the same thing.
"What do you think? Of course it's about you and me."
"What?" he asked. He looked deeply concerned.
"It's nothing bad," I said. "Don't get upset. It's just that this kind of thing only happens to a girl once in her life. I mean, it can only happen once because you lose your virginity and you never get it back again. I just want to think. I have a feeling that thinking's the right thing to do."
I could tell that he didn't understand anything that I was telling him, so I just leaned over and kissed him hard on the lips, just so he'd know how I felt about him. I pressed my tongue deep into his mouth and it was the sweetest kiss ever..
As soon as it was over, I climbed out of his car and told him that I'd see him the next day. I didn't just say it to please him either, although I could see that hearing those words certainly put a smile on his face. I really planned to see him.
I don't know if I could ever see him again after what happened. I think that I'd be so embarrassed to look him in the eye. I wouldn't want to see him pitying me either. Oh, I don't know. I just wish the enema rape never happened to begin with.
INTERVIEW TWO
Linda's second visit was a rather long one because she became so emotional at points that she had to stop and rest for a few minutes before continuing. In my mind, it showed no improvement from the week before. In fact, I would say that she seemed to be regressing.
I did not tell her anything at all about the way I felt, since I feel that it is better to boost up a patient's ego, rather than put it down. However, at the end of our second visit, I told Linda that I would like to see her a few more times because I feel she needs more help.
When she came to see me she was wearing a pink blouse and that pink seemed to be the only rosy color in her otherwise pale looks.
I'll never forget that night. I mean, I've relived some parts so many times. I can always relive the beginning because I had done that kind of thing so many times. By that I mean that I'd walked home along the lake many times before, thinking.
The lake always seemed so tranquil and it always made me so peaceful. There are many small docks along the lake belonging to some of the different people who own houses up there. I know them all, and they know me. It's like a small town, and I know that the story of my rape must have spread around there like wildfire.
I was pulling one of my different dock numbers. I used to do that all the time. All it really was, the dock number, was walking along the lake and stopping at each dock for a few minutes just to sit and stare out at the lake. You get different views and ideas from different angles, I think, and that's why I would move from dock to dock.
You're looking at me like I'm crazy. My friends used to think that I was crazy when I told them what I did, but I did it for reasons. Let me give you an example.
That night, the first dock that I came to belonged to the Hickey's. They're this family and most of them are drunk all the time but they're fun anyway. Their dock is made of red wooden planks. I just went there, sat down, and looked into the water.
I started thinking about Richard and I wondered what he was thinking about me. Was he just going to forget about me now that he'd fucked me? I'd heard things like that from friends. These head trips that guys get on where they just want to fuck a girl.
Find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em, and forget 'em!
That's what some of my friends used to go around singing.
So I was just sitting there wondering if that was going to be his attitude toward me now. I don't even know why I felt that way. He seemed so sincere. But I couldn't help thinking about it anyway.
After a few minutes, I saw my thoughts drift away in the moonlight reflecting on the lake, and that's when I knew I had to get up and go to another dock. I think that the Bellows' dock was the next one down.
On that one I started to wonder if Richard and I would ever get married. I know that it's such a childish thing to do, but my parents had been childhood friends, and who knows, lovers. I doubt that they were lovers, though. I'm sure my mother was pure on her wedding night. But I thought that there could be a possibility of Richard and I getting married one day, sometime in the future.
I moved from one dock to the other, was so lost in my thoughts that I hardly even noticed that there were no people out and that most of the houses were dark already.
I noticed that after I was attacked, when J was wondering if anyone was going to be around to save me. That's when I looked and saw that most of the people had already turned in for the night, which meant it was about three or four in the morning.
I was sitting on the Kay's dock when it happened. Their dock is higher than most of them, and I was just dangling my legs off the side. I don't even remember what I was thinking about there. I had been there five minutes, perhaps, when suddenly I heard footsteps behind me.
As I turned around to see who it was, I felt something over my head. It was like a sheet, or something. I could feel it covering my face and I thought that someone was going to kill me by trying to smother me. The actual facial attack only lasted for a few seconds. I mean, my thoughts about his smothering me left fast because I felt something being wrapped around my neck. It felt like a thick cord.
And it was tied quickly, but not too tight. It was just tied so that the sheet would stay around my face.
"Had fun fucking tonight?" this deep voice asked. "I was watching you and that brown haired kid going at it. You got nice tits."
When he said that he reached out and grabbed ray tit, squeezing it hard through my blouse. I was sitting up at the time and I tried to pull away from him. He held on tight, and then I felt him pushing from the back.
He was pushing me off the dock!
It was only a threat, however, for he did it until I stopped fighting back, which happened immediately.
"If you try anything once more," he warned, "I'll just push you in and we'll see if you can swim or not."
I knew that I would probably drown if he pushed me in, and that was one of the reasons I didn't offer too much resistance. I was crying underneath the sheet, however, and he made some snide remarks about that as he ripped my clothes off.
I felt his tongue moving to my tit and he started to bite on my nipple, hard. I squirmed around a little but I didn't put up too much resistance. There was no reason to. I didn't want to die in the lake.
As he sucked my nipple, so hard that I thought he'd suck it off, he moved his fingers down between my legs and he started to claw at my pussy. When I say claw, I mean it in the strictest animal sense. I could feel his fingers scratching at my pussy walls and his nails were so long that he was tearing my cunt skin.
"Come on, get wet like you must have done for that boyfriend of yours," he said.
I couldn't get wet. I don't know what he expected me to do, but he was working on me so hard and I was so scared, that sexual pleasure was definitely the last thing on my mind. And I don't care what anyone says, you just can't get turned on by the mere physical touch of someone if you're too scared or if you're being forced.
I'm sorry for that outburst, doctor. It's just that the police didn't want to believe that I was raped at first. They kept asking me if I came, like they knew I had to. I wanted to scratch their eyes out.
When I didn't get wet, after a few grueling minutes of pussy scratching, he must have pulled out the enema bag. I didn't know that it was an enema bag obviously, because I couldn't see. But he said something to me, and then I heard a noise.
"Now I'm gonna make you wet if you don't wanna get wet for me, because I'm going to fuck you baby. I want to fuck your hot cunt."
I hated the way he was talking. But then, I heard this gurgling sound. It was the kind of sound you hear when you put an empty bottle into a sink full of water and you hear the bubbling sound of the air escaping and water filling it up. I know now that he was submerging the enema bag in the lake, filling it with the lake water. I didn't know it then. I didn't know what the hell was happening then.
When the gurgling sound stopped he pushed me flat on my back and then pulled my legs up in the air, spreading them with a great force. I thought he was going to split me right open.
Then I felt the nozzle being inserted inside of me. However, he didn't insert it in my ass-hole first. He shoved it into my cunt and I could feel the icy cold lake water freezing my insides. He filled my cunt a little, then pulled it out and started to fill my ass-hole. Each time he thrust it in, either in my ass-hole or cunt, it was with such a tremendous force that I could feel it ripping inside.
I was also flooding, literally, with water. He filled me to the point where the water was just leaking out of me. Every so often he would slap my ass hard and I would wince in pain. Oh God, it was awful, awful!
The cold water in my cunt was not lubricating me at all. In fact, I could feel my cunt lips puckering up closed as if they didn't want the water in.
All he cared about, however, was the fact that I was wet, whether it was just a water wetness or a lubricating creamy wetness. For the minute he stopped filling me up, he laid me down flat, keeping my legs spread, and then he shoved his cock into my cunt with one long thrust.
He was so thick that I could feel a painful stretching inside of me.
He started to thrust in and out, and every movement was nothing but pain for me. He didn't seem to mind, however.
"God, you're the tightest cunt I've ever fucked," he was moaning. "There's nothing better than a tight cunt. You fuck a stretched one and all you feel is air around your dick. But with you, bitch, I can feel real cunt."
I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything else. But the pain was searing through my mind, overcoming every other thought I could possibly have. It was unbelievable.
When he started to pulsate hard inside of me, he just kept going. I could feel his cock stretching me more as he pulsed wide, and then he was shooting his come deep inside of me. He continued to thrust as he shot, and the only thing good about his come was the creamy texture which lined and soothed my aching cunt walls a little.
The enema? I hardly even thought about the enema because I was leaking in my cunt and ass-hole. I mean, I felt the water leaking out of me at first, but then the pain was just overcoming everything else. I was completely drained by the time the man was finished fucking me, lying in my own shit and waste.
As he pulled out I felt him pulling away. Then I could hear the sound of retreating footsteps and I knew that he was just running away. I sat there with the sheet over my head for almost ten minutes, too weak and stunned to move. The sheet was soaked from my tears, and almost transparent because of it. That's when I looked up and saw that most of the lights were off.
There were a few houses still lit up. I pulled at the rope around my neck and almost strangled myself getting it off. But when I did, I just picked up the sheet which had been folded over a few times, and wrapped it around my body.
I staggered to the closest house and when I got there I just kept knocking on the door until Mrs. Bailey opened it up. She saw me and seemed completely shocked, but she did manage to bring me inside and lay me down on the couch. Then she called my parents and the local police.
Do you know what my mother did? She tried to accuse Richard of doing that to me, but I told her he would never do it. I can't help them with any descriptions because I didn't see anything.
Anyway, I know that Richard didn't do it. He wrote to me and he's been trying to come to see me, but I've told my parents that I'm not ready right now. I hope I will be one day, because I think I still love him. But right now I have this thing that I must get over and I don't know how I'm going to do it.