Case History 1
Subject: Sherry M. Age: Fifteen
INTERVIEW ONE
When I first met Sherry, it was easy to see why she would be attractive to male pedophiles. She was pretty and nicely shaped, but held none of the maturity of her years. Even as she sat in the waiting room, she seemed composed, as though, she were not upset about the terrible experience she had gone through.
Sherry's parents had asked me to take on her case when the police had recommended me. There is little chance that the man will be found, but the authorities always try to find such a criminal. Though there is almost no probability that he will bother her again, Sherry must be able to deal with this one incident. She must not be afraid to walk down the street or ever speak to someone she does not know well.
I found that Sherry was willing to talk about the crime in detail. She was very talkative, indeed. I was suspicious of a symptomatic hyperactivity in connection with the trauma, but decided to study her more closely before making any recommendations or charting a course for her therapy.
We launched into the facts of the case with her first words on tape.
My parents are very upset, doctor. They worry all the time, now. My mother cried a lot when I told her what happened, and my father got angry, too. Sometimes, when they don't know I'm noticing it, they give me the most terribly sad looks ever. And Daddy, well, he hasn't been very nice to me lately. He says that he's angry with the man who did this to me and that's why he looks mad at me.
But, I don't know. I don't think that he likes me anymore. He doesn't come close to me anymore at all. Mommy has noticed it, too. I heard her say that to him last week, and he got awful angry and walked out of the room. Then he wouldn't even talk to me. They stayed up late that night and had a talk. I listened in as much as I could. Daddy and Mommy agreed that as soon as I was over this terrible tragedy, that's what they called it. That as soon as I was adjusted to it, they would feel better about the whole thing, too.
I don't really know what "adjusted" means. I don't know how I am supposed to feel about the man and myself. About Mommy and Daddy. I still love them. Why did they stop loving me. I get very confused when I have to think about those things, so I don't think very often. I make believe I am somewhere else, and then I feel good again.
You said that I could say anything at all when I am with you and that no one else will ever know about it. Well, then, I want to tell you something. I don't understand why everybody thinks that man was so very bad, and why everyone is so sorry for me. It hurt when it happened, and I was scared. Sure, I was scared, but that wasn't the whole thing. There were other things about it, too.
I had been watching some of the guys play baseball at the schoolyard, that day. We had gotten out of school early because of the teachers' meeting and since it was so nice outside, the kids were playing. I had nothing else to do, so I stayed around and watched. My friend, Anita, was with me for most of the time, but she had to go home. While she was still with me, this man, the one who did it later, showed up.
Nita saw him first and she said that we ought to go to the other side of the ball field. She said that he was acting funny. Well, I didn't see nothing, and when he smiled at me, I smiled back at him. He really looked very nice to me. Nita pulled me over to the other side of the field and I got sore at her for being such a know-it-all. She said that she had to go and she left. I was glad she went.
This man came around to where I was sitting, and he said something about liking baseball, too. I don't think I said anything, cause what Nita had said was still in my head. But he just sat there. He didn't do anything to me. He didn't try to touch me. Finally, I turned to him when one of the kids made a home run and we just cheered and yelled for him. After that, we were talking to each other for some time.
He said his name was Phil and that he liked baseball a lot. He asked me how old I was and said that I must be popular with the boys since I was so pretty. I thought that was very nice to say, and I just laughed, I guess. He said that he wished he were one of my boyfriends so that he could take me to games and buy me sodas. And, when he mentioned a soda, I picked up. I really love sodas, especially chocolate ice cream ones. He seemed to be reading my mind when he asked me would I like one. Naturally, I said yes. It was the truth.
Phill said that if I would show him where we could get one, he would be happy to buy me one. He said that he was new in town and didn't know too much about this neighborhood. I said that I knew a great place and it was right close by. He said that we could drive there in his car, if I wanted to. He said that he didn't want me to be frightened or anything.
"Why should I be frightened?"
"Oh, your girlfriend didn't look very friendly, and when you smiled back at me, she pulled you away."
I was so surprised that he knew that. He was very smart and I wasn't afraid of him. I said that I would like to ride in his car and told him that I hoped that he liked our town. He said that he thought he was going to like it a lot.
"The shop that I want to go to is just a few blocks away. It's a beautiful day, but I want to ride in that car."
I was hoping that Nita would see me, and that would show her how wrong she was. He wouldn't do anything wrong if he wanted to take me in his car in public. He didn't suggest going to someplace far away or ask me to show him the school when it was empty.
We had a nice time at the shop. We sat in one of those booths and I ordered a triple sundae. I decided to have a vanilla soda on the side. Phil was nice to me. He told me to have anything that I liked. He said that I was nice to him and that he wanted to show me that he appreciated it. There was only one thing that happened that I didn't understand. I was wearing my jeans and when we went to sit down, he ushered me into the seat, you know, like they do when you're in a movie, and he touched the back of my pants. I mean my behind.
I tried not to let him know that I noticed it, but he looked at me and said that he was sorry, he just meant to show me into the seat like a lady, he didn't mean to touch my, my ass. I never used that word before. It was always a hinney or a behind to me. Anyway, there's nothing very wonderful about a behind. He didn't try to touch my private parts, and he apologized.
While we were having the soda and the sundae, he started asking me questions about my school and what I liked to do.
"Well, I think my favorite sport is swimming. I love the summer for that reason. We have a pool in the school, but we only get to swim once a week. Right now, it's still a bit cool to go swimming in the lake outside town."
"That sounds very nice. Do you ever go out there this time of year, at all?"
"Sometimes, just to see the flowers and all. But there's nobody there at all now. Nobody starts going there a lot until the summer comes along."
We finished our sodas and Phil said that he ought to be getting along, but that since he might be bringing his family here to stay, he would like to see the place.
"My girl is younger than you are, but she's real pretty like you. I would like her to swim in that lake. Would you show me where it is. It's still kind of early, and the light will last for a while. Would you want to tell your mother about it?"
"Oh, no, my mother isn't home right now, anyway. She went shopping this afternoon. I think she wouldn't mind. She always tells me to be nice to other people. We are all children of the Lord."
Phil and I drove over to the lake and when we got there, it was just like I had said. There wasn't anyone else around. It was really pretty that afternoon. There were some birds on the water and that was all. It was real quiet.
Phil and I walked around the shore of the lake and I showed him all the nice places there were for his daughter to play and hide. There are some very nice places that I saw some other girls sun bathing. These were older girls, and one of them used to take off everything. I told Phil about that and he asked me if I thought that was naughty.
"Well, my mother would think it's bad, but nobody could see her and she wasn't doing anything at all. She wasn't with a boyfriend, the way some other girls were at that same time."
"You mean that you saw some boys and girls doing things to each other? What were they doing?"
"Oh, I don't know. I guess they were kissing and stuff like that. A lot of other stuff, though. My mother told me that I wasn't to look ever again."
"Did you like what you saw?"
"What do you mean, like it?"
"Would you like to try that someday? I mean what the kids were doing?"
I walked away then, because I didn't want to tell anybody that I was interested in what they were doing that last summer. I felt that it was bad and dirty and I shouldn't. But Phil walked up to me and what he said made me feel different.
"Sherry, I won't tell your mother. She'll never know. I may not ever see you again. Why should I want to tell something you told me, and maybe get you in trouble. You've been very nice to me, haven't you? Why should I hurt you?"
That made everything different. I figured that it made a lot of sense. Phil had been real nice to me. He had bought me a sundae and a soda, and had taken me in his nice car. I only talked about these things with my girl friends. I never even mentioned it to a boy. So I started to talk to Phil about the kids I had seen, and he asked me what they did.
"Some of them go all the way."
"What does that mean? Do they pet and neck and then what?"
"Oh, you know! They kiss and stuff like that, then he touches her and she touches him. You know, there. And once, I really saw what they did. He pulled his pants down and she took her things off, and they got on top of each other."
"Is that all?"
"Well, it looked like that was all. Oh, wait, she had her legs open, and he was in between them. He was rocking on top of her. But that was all I could see. I wasn't that close to them.
I didn't want them to hear me. I would have been awfully embarrassed."
By this time, Phil and I were on the other side of the lake, the side that doesn't have any road in or out. There's only a drive around part of the lake, and you have to walk the rest of the way. Phil asked me if I wanted to sit down for a while, since he was a little tired. I didn't mind at all. It was still a pretty day, the sun was bright and it felt so good to be at the lake.
I don't usually get the chance to go to the lake before the real summer. I don't drive and anyway, Mommy wouldn't let me have the car for my own to drive anywhere. Not even school. So I liked going there with Phil. And then, I liked being here with him, because I was going to tell Nita about all this the next day. Maybe even that night. She could have come along, but she was too silly.
Phil and I sat on the ground, and there was a couple of rocks near where we were. He leaned up against one of them, and I sat next to him. He leaned his head back in the sun and closed his eyes, and I decided that I would do the same. There was still time to get home. I lay back and the sun on my eyes made the colors swim in front of me, even though my eyes were closed.
Then, while I was lying back on the ground, I felt something touch me. I felt it high up on my leg and then I felt it on my thing. I had my jeans on, you see, and the pants are thick. I felt this tickling over my pussy. That's what Phil told me it was called. Anyway, I felt this tickle and I liked it. I knew it must be Phil, but I wasn't scared. The talking about the kids had made me feel funny. The way I feel before I touch myself.
I opened my eyes, and Phil was leaning on his side. When I looked at him, he was smiling and then, he looked down at my pants. I followed his eyes, and I almost choked from what I saw. He had his thing out. I never saw such a big one in my life. Sure I saw one of the boys, but his wasn't anything like Phil's. I got scared, I guess, but I didn't get up or anything.
"Now, don't be scared. I won't hurt you. He won't hurt you."
"I'm not scared. Why should I be scared?"
All this time, Phil had his fingers on my-my pussy. He kept rubbing back and forth and it felt good. He pressed hard against the cloth and it felt really good. I didn't want that feeling to stop. I wanted to have him rub me until I got the feeling I get when I do it to myself.
"You like what I'm doing to you, don't you?"
I was ashamed to say that I did, so I just didn't say anything. But I didn't try to stop him.
"It's alright. You don't have to be afraid to say that. There's nothing wrong with liking that feeling. It's very good for you. Why don't you unzip those jeans and let me make you feel even better. I want to show you how good it can feel."
I just looked at him. I was tempted to do it. I never had anybody do it to me before and it felt better than doing it myself.
"Didn't any of your boyfriends ever do this to you?"
I shook my head. Phil smiled and started to laugh.
"Well, now, little miss, you don't know what a treat you're missing. You just open those pants and let me show you what feeling good really is."
I still didn't do anything or move, but when Phil started to unzip my pants himself, I didn't stop him. I wanted to feel what he promised, but I didn't have the nerve to do it myself. He stopped rubbing me while he unzipped my pants and then, he unsnapped them, too. He started to pull them down, when I got scared. I didn't want to take my pants off! I put my hands on his to stop him.
"Listen, I can make you feel a lot better if I take your pants down. It will really feel great. I can open your legs a little bit and do a good job."
Since he stopped rubbing at me, I started to feel a tingly feeling. I wanted to feel him at my pussy again, so I didn't stop him anymore. I thought that it would feel great, too. I was just a little scared. So he pulled at my pants, and I lifted up my behind and he pulled them all the way down to my ankles. Then he rubbed at my pussy over my panties. It felt so good!
"Doesn't that feel nice? Much nicer than with your jeans on? Just relax and let me rub you a bit more."
Then Phil made circles around my pussy and sometimes slid his fingers up and down along the slit. He wasn't really touching anything inside the slit and that made me feel funny. I never felt that way before. He would only rub on top of my panties and then not very hard, either. I began to feel like I couldn't stay still any longer. I wanted to jump up or something. I guess Phil could see this.
Then, when I started to move around, I felt his thing on my leg. It felt so hot! He put it next to my pussy, but not real close, and just let it stay there. I open my eyes and looked at it. He had it out all this while, but he never even asked me to touch it or anything. I wasn't as afraid of it now. It looked kind of ugly, though. It was all red and there were these veins popping out along the sides of it. And the hole in the middle of the tip, it had some wet stuff on it. I didn't really want to touch it.
While I was looking at his thing, Phil slipped his hand under my panties and put his finger on the bump. I jumped, and he started rubbing it right there! It felt so different. I once rubbed it that way, but this was different. I knew that I shouldn't let him touch me underneath my panties, but it felt so good, that I didn't want to stop him. I figured that I would let him rub me until I got that thrill and then I would ask him to stop.
"That feels real good to you, doesn't it, Sherry? I want it to. I'm going to make you feel so great that you'll never forget it. Just let me take your panties off and I'll start making you feel even better."
I wanted to feel everything he could do to me and I lifted up my hips and Phil pulled my panties down. Only this time, he pulled my jeans and my panties off my legs. I was naked from the waist down! It felt really good to be naked that way on the grass. The air felt good on my pussy. Phil spread my legs apart a little and this time, he used both hands on my thing.
He pulled the slit apart and then he bent down. He blew air onto my pussy and that made me jump. I giggled and he laughed, too. Then he did it again. I liked it. And then, what he did next made me scream. He put his tongue on that little bump! I tried to get away, but this time, he held my hips down and licked me all over. He licked the bump, he licked the slit and then, he went all the way down. He pushed my legs apart all the way and licked almost all the way to my behind! It felt good, but I never even thought of anybody, doing that to me.
"Hey don't you know? This is what those boys do to those girls. They do lots of other things, too. Doesn't it feel good to you?"
I couldn't lie. I really liked his tongue on all those private parts of my body. I was ashamed that I liked the feeling, but he was still holding me down, and there wasn't anything that I could do to stop him. Then, in a few minutes, I didn't want to. Phil bent down and licked me again. This time, he got down a bit and twisted his body so that his legs were near me. I started to smell his thing. It was a smell so different, that I got nervous.
But then, he started licking again, and I wasn't thinking about anything else. I didn't want him to stop that licking. He had my legs spread wide open and he pushed his head way down. He started to lick all the way through the slit. He would lick the bump first, then the hole down there and then he went back to my asshole! I jumped when his tongue touched me there.
"Oh, stop, don't do that! That's terrible!"
"No it's not! It feels good and I want to do it. That makes it just fine!"
I couldn't stop him from doing it, anyway, so I just lay there and let him lick me again. After a few minutes of that licking, I started to like it. He was doing some crazy things to me. He was licking all around the hole back there and once he stuck his tongue right in it! I couldn't help but scream. It felt good, but I wasn't used to that feeling.
"Hey, Sherry. I'm going to do this for a while. I love it, and you might as well get used to it. I want to stick my tongue in this nice little hole. And you like it alright! I can tell that."
I did really like it, but I still thought it was terribly bad. But there was nothing that I could do, so I just let him do it. He would stick his tongue in and out. Then he would lick all around the hole and then he used his finger. It felt so big that I screamed again. But he took it out right away and I figured that he wouldn't do it again. But I was wrong. He stuck his finger in again and then he pushed it in and out. It didn't hurt. It felt really nice. I was moving all around. I just couldn't stay still.
I had my eyes closed all this time, or else I would look at the sky. I loved the feeling in my pussy and now, what he was doing in my behind. I never knew that it could feel good to play with that part. But he kept licking and sticking his finger in and I thought that I would get that good feeling pretty soon. My whole body started to tingle.
The only thing that I didn't like was having that big cock sticking close to my face. It scared me a little. I didn't know what men did with those things, but I was scared all the same. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to stop the good feeling in my pussy, and my ass, but I was scared of that big thing near me. All of a sudden, though, he moved his cock away from me. He swung his body around and he stopped licking me. He was breathing kind of hard, but I was just glad that he took that big thing out of my face.
Phil pushed me on my side and pushed my legs way up so that my pussy was open to him again. I could feel how wet I was there, cause the breeze made me feel chilly. He felt me up with his fingers and put his fingers into my slit. He rubbed that bump again, and I felt real good. I was moving my bottom up and down
'cause it felt so good and then Phil pushed his thing up against my crack. I stiffened up 'cause I didn't know what he was going to do, but he just rubbed it in and out of my slit. I was wet and it felt slippery, too. It felt good to have that big thing rubbing me. It was hot, and it felt good since I felt chilly from the air. It was a nice feeling.
Well Phil rubbed me over and over again, and finally he moved back a bit to my ass. He rubbed that cock against the crack, and then he pushed it up against the hole back there. That felt okay, but I liked it better up front.
"I just want to rub you with this cock of mine for a while. I made you feel good, and I haven't even asked you to touch me. You don't mind me feeling good too, do you, Sherry?"
"No, why should I?"
"That's the girl. I'll just rub it for a while. Okay?"
I nodded. I was feeling very funny now. I wanted him to stick his fingers back in my hole again. I wanted him to rub my little bump in the front. Well, he put his fingers on my slit and pushed everything around for a while. He rubbed in a big circle and pulled the lips apart. I was squirming around. I was moving my bottom a lot, I think. Phil was breathing real hard now and I didn't think about much else.
All of a sudden, Phil started to rub his cock against my hole in the back. He was pushing it against the hole a long time and then I felt a bad pain.
"OW! That hurts! Stop! Phil, that hurts!"
But he wouldn't stop. He held my legs up and pushed it up even further. My legs started to hurt from being so far apart. But the worst thing was that he kept pushing that thing into my asshole. I felt like he was tearing me apart. I was scared then, real scared. I started to scream. As soon as I did that, Phil started to rub my bump and the rest of my slit again. At first, I didn't feel very much, but soon, I began to have good feelings again, and the pain back there wasn't that terrible. I started to relax again, and even though he wouldn't stop, the pain wasn't that bad.
"That's it, Sherry. Just relax. I'll keep rubbing you to make you feel good. This is what I need to feel good. You said that you didn't mind my feeling good, too. Now, you just concentrate on that good feeling in your pussy, and I'll worry about your asshole! That sweet little virgin asshole!"
Phil kept pushing into me and then there was a horrible pain. I couldn't help screaming and he pushed harder and harder. The pain was really bad now. I didn't know what he was doing to me.
"It's okay, now. I had to get the head inside. That was the terrible pain. It will be much better now. Just lay still."
I was crying now, and he rubbed me even harder in my pussy, but the pain made me feel really bad. I cried for about ten minutes, and all the while, Phil was pushing his cock into me. The pain was bad, but nothing like that bad pain in the beginning. As Phil kept rubbing, I started to feel better, and I was more aware of the feeling in my pussy. I knew that my ass felt bad, but if I didn't think about it, it wasn't that bad.
Phil finally stopped pushing at me and we both just lay there for a minute.
"It's all the way in, now, Sherry. Don't worry. It shouldn't hurt anymore. I have to rub it in and out of you to get a wonderful feeling. Then I will come inside you. Just wait till you feel that hot cream shoot up your ass! It's great!"
The way that Phil was talking, I was getting that funny feeling again. I wanted to have the thrill in my pussy, and I didn't mind what he did to me, while he was working on my pussy. I never saw a boy come. I knew that there was a liquid inside every man's thing, but the way he talked about it, that made me excited.
"What does it do? This "come" you talk about?"
"When I rub you enough, the stuff, the fluid in my cock, will shoot out and into you. Maybe afterwards, I'll let you jerk me off and you can watch it shoot out. Think you would like that?"
The idea of watching something shoot out of that big thing was terribly exciting to me and I wanted to see it. I nodded "yes" and Phil started to pull his thing out of my ass. It was a strange feeling. It felt like I was shitting, but then, he got to a certain point and then shoved the whole thing back up there again. I screamed. The feeling was so strange. It wasn't as painful as the first time, but it felt uncomfortable. Before I had a chance to say anything, he pulled it out again and shoved it back in. He did this a lot, and he got faster and faster.
Phil was still rubbing my pussy while he shoved his thing into me, and in a little while I felt that nice feeling starting. It was completely different from what I have ever felt before. He rubbed me, and that big cock up inside me rubbing, too, made me feel just great. There wasn't much pain anymore, and then I felt that thrill start and I yelled and I jerked my body around. Phil started breathing even harder and pounded his thing into me.
It was then that I felt a hot squish and Phil was grunting and moaning.
"Oh, you sweet little ass! Jerk me all around. Take all that nice sweet cream I have for you. Hold still honey, I'm giving it to you!"
I felt his thing jumping around in me and the hot stuff kept pouring out into me. He was banging into me real hard now, and he stopped rubbing me. I put my own hand down there and rubbed myself. I liked the feeling and jerked myself all around to get the most of it. Every time that I moved, the thing in my ass would move and it would hurt a bit. But there was nothing that I could do. I was getting my thrill and he was shooting this stuff into me.
Then it was over. Phil was still breathing very hard, but he pulled his cock out of me in one jerk. I yelled from the feeling that it made inside me. His cock was so big, and then he took it out all of a sudden, just like that.
"Just take it easy, Sherry, It's all over. I won't touch you again. Just relax for a minute."
He pulled that thing out and rolled over onto the ground so that he wasn't touching me anymore. My ass was beginning to throb and twitch. It hurt some, but I was still feeling good from the thrill I had. He had rubbed me so nice. I just lay there, thinking about nothing. But then, his words started running around in my head.
"It's all over. I won't touch you again."
He had said that I could work him over and see the stuff come out of his cock. For some reason, that's all I could think of. I wanted to see the stuff shoot out of his thing. I turned around to Phil, but he was already getting dressed. He wouldn't look at me, and I was getting angry that he wouldn't keep his word. So, I got mad instead of saying anything to him about the other thing.
I pulled on my panties, but I realized that I was all wet. This stuff, the come was all over my legs and my asshole. Phil bent over me and wiped my ass, just like a little baby. He wiped me all up and then put his handkerchief away. I pulled my jeans on and just sat there. I was sore, and I tried not to sit right on my bottom. I sat on a cheek.
"Look, I'll drive you part of the way into town. I have to go somewhere and I can't take you all the way back to the school."
Then I got real mad. He wasn't being nice at all. He didn't keep his word, I was sore from what he did to me, and now he wouldn't drive me home. But I couldn't say anything. I just started to cry. I cried and cried, and finally, I couldn't breathe anymore. I was gasping and when I finally looked up, Phil wasn't anywhere around. I guess he figured that something was terribly wrong with me. I don't know. He just went away. I walked around to the other side of the lake where he had parked the car, but there wasn't anybody there.
I just started to cry again, and kept walking. That was when the car stopped and this lady took me to the police station. I was feeling really bad then. I couldn't walk too well from what he had done to me, and I couldn't sit too well, either. I just wanted to be in my room all alone.
The police called my mother and father, and when they came to take me home I just started to cry again. The police said that I would have to be examined and I didn't want that. I was sore, and I was scared, but my parents told me that I had to do it. I didn't want to talk to anybody about it. I guess I was in a daze or something. People kept asking me questions and I answered them.
Now, though, I can't understand why everybody treats me so different. I felt better in a few days, and the doctor said that I would be okay. I can't help thinking about what happened, and sometimes I feel ashamed. You see, I didn't tell the police everything. Like about how I let him take my pants off and how I liked being rubbed like that. And most of all, I never told anybody why I started crying in the first place.
I'm still mad at Phil. He didn't keep his promise.