Chapter 3
She Wanted An Audience
Perhaps one of the more unusual initial sex experiences comes from the files of a New York social worker whose job it is to conduct interviews on the basis of which welfare decisions are made. Now that welfare funds are coming under attack from many segments of our society, it is necessary to accumulate more detailed information about the recipients of these funds.
Although sexual activity is ordinarily entirely outside the province of such interviews, the following record was maintained by a social worker whose assigned area was in a predominantly Puerto Rican section of New York City. While conducting interviews in a household in which the eldest member was a 24-year-old girl, it was learned that she had supported herself and two younger sisters and a brother by working as a prostitute for the three years immediately preceding.
Because of the aid rendered to her as a direct result of having been contacted by the social worker, the girl, Carlotta S., was extremely grateful. Consequently, she was moved to offer very detailed information about herself when informed that her experiences would be important to colleagues of the social worker who were engaged in psycho-sexual research.
"My family was very religious," she began. "We never had much money even when both my parents were alive, but at least we lived a very moral life. Too moral, in a way. Maybe that's why I changed so much after my mother died, I don't know," Carlotta sighed. "Anyway, that's the way it happened. My father had been killed in an accident at the docks-he was a stevedore-when I was 15. If us kids ever had to toe the line before, it was really bad after Dad was killed!
"Mother seemed to think God was mad at us for some reason, and that he had taken Dad away from us because of something we had done. Later on I found out that it was really my mother who felt guilty for something she had done, but she took it out on us-on me and my sisters and brother. Of course, we had always gone to Mass every Sunday even when Dad was alive, but after he was buried, Mother made us get out our rosaries and pray with her every night. And she kept wearing black for months and months afterwards. Most everyone in our neighborhood was Catholic, but I'll bet my mother was the most religious person of all of them.
"After Mother died, when I was 20, my little brother told me something he said he'd always been afraid to mention while Mom had been alive. He said one night when he had been the only one home with Mom, he had heard something through his bedroom wall. Dad had taken the rest of us kids to our grandmother's for an overnight visit, but my brother was sick, so my mother had stayed home to take care of him. The mumps were going around and my parents were afraid he might be getting them.
"He said that right after we all left, a stranger came to the door and my mother had let him in right away. Mom thought my brother was asleep, so she didn't worry about being overheard. From the snatches of conversation that my brother got through the partly-open door, he found out that the man was someone our mother had known before she married our dad. They were talking about when they used to go out together, and Mom was giggling. The man pulled out a bottle of wine from his pocket and got Mom to drink some. Pretty soon they were both loaded and talking even louder. They had forgotten all about my brother even being around.
"Then they went into the bedroom and in a little while there was the sound of lots of thrashing around on the bed. Of course, now I'm old enough to know what was happening, but my little brother was too young at the time to know what they were doing. He heard Mom say, after a little while, 'Hell no, I'm not putting that thing in my mouth. I don't even do that for my husband.' She was slurring her words so badly that my brother could barely understand her."
Carlotta seemed to be revolted as she described the actions of her mother. She said disdainfully, "The guy was wanting Mom to suck him off, that's all! And she finally did because as the guy went out the door, my brother heard him say, 'You suck a mean dick, baby, even if you do claim you don't know nothin' about it.' Maybe my little brother didn't know what the hell they were talking about, but I ought to know ... I've sucked enough pricks myself since I started selling my ass!
"It was the next week ... just a few days later, as a matter-of-fact ... when my dad was killed at work on the docks. I always will think that Mom thought God was punishing her for ... for putting her mouth on that guy's prick and sucking it for him. At least, that was when she started getting so religious. It was just hell around our house. In addition to praying all the time, my mother became a real nut about anything to do with sex. She made sure that my little brother never saw me or my sisters unless we were fully dressed. And boy do I mean dressed! All three of us girls had to wear every stitch of clothes around the house that we wore when we went out. And that included long, ugly, cotton stockings and a full-length slip, summer or winter. I was 15, so at least I'd known what it was to have pretty, frilly things to wear. But I felt sorry for my sisters. One was 12 and the other was only 10.
"Mom made them both wear brassieres, even though they barely had any titties. And whenever we got ready to go to bed at night, Mom always made us slip on our nightgowns-heavy, long cotton ones-before we removed our underwear. She said this was so that we wouldn't have to be 'disgusted by the sight of our nakedness.' And once when she caught our little brother in our room, she smacked him until he was blue and made him promise never to set foot in our room again. The silly thing about it was that none of us girls were even in there, so he couldn't have seen any of us naked or anything, even if he had tried. But I think you get the picture of how our mom felt about sex from what I've told you so far.
"Well, the five years between when my dad died and when my mom died were like a nightmare to us kids. We were watched like hawks. I never had one date all during high school. I got real nervous because of it, too. All my friends at school were always telling me about what they were doing on dates, but I had to just dream about it. Sometimes at night when I thought of stuff they told me about, I'd begin to get a ticklish feeling in between my legs, but I didn't dare touch myself there. I was afraid that my mother might rush in and catch me-it would have been just about like her to do something like that. My mother had us all so much under her thumb that we were afraid of our own shadows.
"Maybe you can understand, then, how relieved we all were when Mom died. Oh sure, we all cried and felt bad about it in a way-but our main feeling was just plain old relief! An uncle of ours took the three younger kids to live with him, but he was just working as a part-time barber, so he couldn't really support them. Since I was the oldest-I told you I was 20 when all this happened-we agreed that I would live by myself, but that I'd get a job and contribute money each week to help my uncle. That was fine with me, because it meant that I would be completely free at last.
"I didn't have any trouble at all getting a job. The third day I went looking for one, I was hired by a movie theater to work at the candy concession. I was really pleased, I got to wear a uniform and everything. And I found a place to live that I could afford and still have enough money left to buy myself a few things after I'd sent money to my uncle. The first thing I did was to run out and get myself a bunch of frilly underwear. I remember modeling it on myself in front of the big mirror on the inside of my closet door.
"I had almost forgotten what I looked like naked. First I threw all my packages down on the bed and ran into the bathroom. I ran a tub full of hot water, then slipped out of my clothes and settled myself down into the tub. After I was clean I hopped out of the tub and toweled off. While I was rubbing the towel over my body, I happened to glance across the room to the mirror in my closet door, and when I did I stopped cold.
"What I saw really pleased me. I was looking at a girl with coal-black hair, black eyes and a sort of olive complexion. I turned around then and let the towel drop. I was almost nervous, looking at myself so shamelessly. I guess I was thinking about what my mother would have said if she had been there. But the more I looked at myself, the better I began to feel. I was glad to see that I wasn't bad-looking at all. I had a slender shape, with my waist coming in and making my breasts appear bigger than they actually were. No that they were so small! I playfully turned my torso and made them jiggle. My nipples bobbed on the ends of my breasts like little grapes. I turned sideways and saw how my breasts stuck out nicely in front of me without sagging down like some girls'.
"Then I let my eyes wander down below and I saw a flat tummy that was smooth and wet from the bath. Below that I saw a little patch of thick, curly hair that was as black as the hair on my head. As I looked there a couple of drops of water ran through that little mound of hair and down my legs, which were long and slim-I remember thinking that I'd seen plenty of cheerleaders' legs at school that weren't half as nice. Of course my mother would never have let me even so much as try out for the cheerleader squad!
"Looking at myself in the mirror that night seemed to give me confidence in myself-confidence that I could live the life of any other normal girl, even if I had got a late start because of my mom. I guess maybe you could say that right then was the exact moment that I made a sort of decision to live life to its fullest."
The social worker quickly wrote down some brief notes in the notebook she was using to record Carlotta's story, then asked her to continue.
"As soon as I had looked at myself nude for a while, I started putting on the new underwear I'd bought. First I sat down on the side of my bed and started slipping on the sheer, black panty hose. When I had both stockings up to about my knees, I rolled backwards and lay on my back with my feet sticking as straight up in the air as the curve of my legs would allow. Then I pulled the hose up until the panty top fit snugly across my crotch and over my hips. Next I jumped up and grabbed my new brassiere. It was the thin, filmy net style that makes you look like you aren't even wearing a brassiere, you know? As I reached behind me to fix the catch, I saw my breasts surge forward from the strain and it looked like my nipples would burst right through the fabric. For the finishing touch, I put on my black mini-slip with the laced hem and the frothy lace across the top. I walked forward to the mirror and looked down the front of my slip-it was perfect. Just enough cleavage showed from down inside my brassiere to make me proud of my breasts, but not enough to make me have to take special care whenever I bent down for something.
"I was feeling almost giddy by then. I removed my slip, unhooked my bra and applied powder all over my upper body, rubbing it in until I was smooth as silk all over. I even pulled my panty top away from my stomach and rubbed powder in there too. I had already shaved under my arms until not a trace of hair was left, so I applied some deodorant and topped the whole thing off by spraying my new perfume all over my body. Then I hooked my bra again, put my mini-slip back on and couldn't help slinking across the room like a jungle cat, I felt so sexy. Sexy! I had to laugh at myself. The closest I had ever come to sex was seeing a movie on TV-and Mom always made us turn it off if she thought it was too sexy.
"I sat down on the bed and started feeling kind of lonesome. After all, here I was all dressed up, yet I wasn't even going anywhere! I was due to start my new job the next day, but as for that . night, what was there to do but just stay in my room and feel sorry for myself. Then I got a bright idea-why not go somewhere? I was my own boss. No one was around any more to tell me what to do.
"I dressed in a mini-skirt and a white blouse, pulled on a pair of black, patent leather shoes, and I was ready. I combed my hair straight back and let it fall around my shoulders. I glanced at myself as I went out the door and was pleased with what I saw. But as I walked down the stairs of the building where I lived, I became a little scared. I began to be afraid that I looked like something I wasn't, if you know what I mean. But the feeling didn't last long. As soon as I was out on the street, I began to get into a much better mood.
"There weren't too many people on the street, but I got plenty of looks from the ones who were ... from the men, at least. And from a lot of the women, too. But I think the reason they looked was because they thought my skirt was too short! I had only gone a little way-a couple of blocks or so-when a big black car slowed up beside me and the guy driving slid across the seat and rolled down his window. He asked me if he could give me a ride, and the way he said it made it sound like he meant to take me straight to his apartment-if I would go with him. I was kind of thrilled and flustered at the same time. I stopped and started to say something to him, then I got all mixed up and mumbled 'Oh, no, I can't ... I'm ... I have to ... ' Then I just turned and ran into a little coffee shop without even looking back, I had to admit to myself that I was still pretty inexperienced in spite of my new freedom, and that I wasn't as sure of myself as I would have liked to be.
"I decided to calm myself by having a cup of coffee. I sat down at a booth and was glad to find that the place was almost deserted. Except for the waitress who came to take my order, the only person in sight was a harmless old man sitting back in the corner booth having a beer. I began to feel a little better. While waiting for my coffee I leaned back against the seat and crossed my legs, feeling the smoothness of the sheer hose I was wearing as my calf slid across the thigh of my other leg.
"When my coffee came I drank a few swallows and then almost dropped my cup as I happened to glance toward the rear booth. The old man I had seen as I came in was leaning over sideways in his seat and was staring underneath the table so he could see right up underneath my skirt. And that's not all-he had his pants unzipped and his prick in his hand, and while I stared in amazement, he was really going to town jerking his hand up and down on it. I guess he had really been getting an eyeful because of the way my legs were crossed and the short length of my skirt. I'm sure he saw more than the lace on my mini-slip, and if I hadn't been wearing my new panty hose, he would have probably been able to see my pussy hair if the crotch of my panties had been slipped sideways a little bit.
"Well, I jumped up and started to call the waitress or yell something at the old bastard, but then I decided, to hell with it, and I turned on my heels to dash for the door. I tossed a quarter on the table and picked up my purse as I turned around, and I saw that the old creep had jerked his prick so furiously that he was shooting a big load of come right out on the floor in front of him. I was disgusted. I tore out of the coffee shop and never looked back. I hope the waitress saw him and had him arrested, but I'll never know what happened because I never set foot in the place again.
"I went straight back to my apartment and got right into bed after carefully hanging my new clothes up and putting my new undies away in the special drawer where I kept all my other things. I had a little trouble going to sleep-I kept thinking about the guy who tried to pick me up in the car, all the guys who ogled me on the street, and the old creep who was playing with himself in the coffee shop.
"When I finally went to sleep I tossed and turned all night and had the strangest dream. I dreamed that I was sitting in the bedroom of the house where I had lived with my mother, with nothing on but my brassiere and panties. And outside in the street, parked in a big car with the door open, was the guy who had tried to pick me up. He was able to see me inside my bedroom, I realized, and he had his prick in his hand and was playing with himself just like the old man in the coffee shop.
"It was a very strange feeling-instead of being afraid, or trying to cover myself, I seemed to be fascinated by what he was doing to himself. In fact, I began to get a hot, delicious feeling between my own legs. Then in my dream my mother suddenly appeared outside the guy's carand before I knew what was happening,, she was on her knees in front of him and was grabbing his prick right out of his hands. Then she socked his organ right into her mouth and began sucking on it like it was a fruit popsicle. My dream ended with the guy falling slowly backward and my mother climbing after him trying to stuff more of his prick into her mouth."
Carlotta was interrupted by the social worker in order to clarify an important point. She was asked whether she had ever had intercourse at any time prior to the night she had just been describing.
Carlotta laughed. "Hell, no," she replied, "my mother had watched me so close that I had never even seen a man's prick, much less felt one between my legs. I didn't get turned on to sex until I started working at the movie. Can you believe it? Here I was, 20 years old and ... well, a pretty sexy-looking chick, if I say so myself ... yet I had never done it at all. In fact, I didn't have the foggiest notion what it was all about. It didn't take me long to learn, though. I lost my cherry the second week I started working at the movie. Want me to tell you about it?"
The social worker informed Carlotta that her first sexual experience would be of vital importance to the research of her colleagues, and asked her to continue.
"The people at the movie where I worked were real nice to work with. It was a pretty easy job, and whenever there wasn't much business-which was pretty often-the girl I worked with at the concession stand had plenty of time to chat with me. Her name was Rita, and she was of Latin descent, like me. She was also dark-haired. She didn't have as good a complexion as I did-she was always complimenting me on my smooth complexion-but she was really stacked, to make up for it.
"Later, when I got to know her better, I found out that she wore a size 40D brassiere, even though she was only one inch taller than me. After I had been working there for a few days we became pretty good friends and I felt close enough to her to tell her something about myself. When she found out about how strict my mother had been with us kids, and that I was still a virgin, she was really surprised. I told her the truth-I said, 'Rita, I know most girls my age have already ... been with a guy. But you just can't imagine how different my life has been from most girls. I just never had the chance to be around guys all that much, and now I feel shy around them, even though what I really want is ... is to ... '
"Rita wasn't one to mince words. She broke in and said, 'You mean you'd be interested in a little action if the guy would be gentle with you, right? You're feeling a need for the old dick, aren't you, honey?' I felt relieved that she had spoken for me, because even though I knew her pretty well by this time, I still felt pretty embarrassed to talk about sex the way we were beginning to.
"Rita put her hand on my shoulder and said, 'Listen, Carlotta, you just leave everything to me. It just happens that you've come to the right place to get started.' Then she began telling me about the behind-the-scene activities at the theater where we worked. She said the place was owned by a real rich guy named Bart, and that he owned a whole chain of theaters. The one where we worked was the largest one in the chain, and he'd had a special room installed upstairs for a very special reason. He called it the 'Beaver Room' and as Rita told me the name, she playfully grabbed me between the legs through my skirt in order to demonstrate why it was given the name 'Beaver Room.' She laughed and said, 'Bart calls it that in honor of all the little "beavers" that he likes to keep in the room to play with-just like this little "beaver" you've got right there,' as she pinched me again in my crotch. Rita was like that, always joking and kidding about everything.
"What Rita told me next made me get hot pants right there behind the counter at work. She had worked at the movie for over two years. She hadn't been a virgin when she came there, like I was, but she didn't have nearly as much experience as she had received during the two years since she had begun her job there, either. After she had been there about a month, she was cleaning up one night after the place had closed up. She was bending way over trying to reach some spilled popcorn when she heard someone come up behind her. It was one of the ushers, a guy named Tom. When she turned around he was standing there licking his chops and leering at her. He had seen plenty as he had looked up underneath her dress and he wasn't trying to conceal it at all. In fact, he seemed to want her to know he had been grooving on her panty-covered asshole and the backs of her thighs. At first she was mad as hell at him. She asked him if he had gotten a good look.
"Tom just said, 'Yeah, but not nearly as good a look as I'd like to get' Rita said that Tom's answer kind of left her speechless, because she had thought he would be embarrassed that she had caught him doing it. But she didn't embarrass him at all. All he did was ask her if she wanted to see a special movie for 'employees only.' Rita wasn't like me-she had already had a few dicks inside her panties before, so she wasn't scared of him at all. She didn't know what he was talking about when he mentioned the movie, but her feeling was, 'What have I got to lose?' Besides, Tom was a pretty good-looking fellow-a tall guy with broad shoulders and dark brown hair.
"As soon as she was through cleaning up, Tom took her up the stairs to the projection booth and introduced her to the projection man. He was a blond guy named Bob who looked her up and down and said he had been wondering when he was going to get to meet the new candy stand girl. Tom asked Bob if he had any of those 'employees only' movies around and Bob said just to sit tight and he would oblige them. Tom remarked that now that Rita was a full-fledged employee, she should get to enjoy all the benefits.
"The movie was shown to Tom and Rita in a small room between the projection room and the Beaver Room, which Rita hadn't yet seen and didn't know anything about yet. It was this part of what Rita told me that got me all hot and bothered. The movie was unlike any movie Rita had ever seen in her life. She told me she hadn't even known there were any movies like this before. The whole thing was in color, and showed guys and girls getting screwed right and left. You could see everything. Girls taking their clothes off and then playing with themselves with their fingers, guys running in with hard dicks and leaping into bed with them, the whole works.
"Rita said that during one sequence where a guy was down on his knees taking a girl's panties off and slipping his tongue in between the girl's legs, it was just about more than she could stand. She was getting hot as a firecracker, and she started perspiring freely. She was so interested in what was going on on the screen that she almost forgot about Tom being with her, so she started rubbing her thighs together underneath her dress to give herself some relief.
"In a second she felt a hot hand between her legs and realized that Tom knew how hot she was. She didn't even make any pretense when Tom said, 'Baby, you want to feel what that chick on the screen is feeling?' She just threw her legs wide open and pulled her skirt up past her thighs. Tom didn't need a bit of prodding. He slid onto the floor in front of her and in a few seconds he was sliding her panties down past her knees and burying his face in her muff. While he was sucking her pussy, she heard someone behind them. It was Bob, the projection man.
"He said, 'Have a heart, kids, let me in on the action!' Rita was feeling so good from having Bob's head squeezed between her legs that she would have said 'Yes!' to anything, so when Bob started unbuttoning her blouse, she was all for it. Without any prompting, she reached around and unhooked her brassiere. First Bob started sucking on her tits, then both guys lifted her up and carried her over to a couch in the corner of the room where they each fucked her twice, taking turns, and then she sucked them both off. The action on the screen had been over for a long time when the three of them finished getting their kicks, Rita said. When it was all over and they were putting on their clothes, Bob remarked to Tom that, 'The boss would be interested in meeting this hot little chick.' Rita later found out they were referring to Bart, the theater's owner.
"After Rita finished telling me about her experience, I asked her what that had to do with me. Rita told me that there were regular parties held in the Beaver Room every week or so, and that it was the perfect place for me to lose my cherry. She said the guys would be especially gentle with me when I told them I'd never done it before. And she said that they'd be especially glad to get into the pants of a girl who was still cherry. But I had misgivings about the idea. There was one thing in particular that bothered me. I couldn't understand how she could allow herself to have sex with more than one guy at the same time. Rita explained that when Tom and Bob had both been with her in the private projection room, it was the first time she had ever done it with more than one person at the same time, but she said it was groovy, and that after you got used to it, it was 'the only way to fly.' I still wasn't entirely convinced, but I was gradually getting more interested. I told her I would like to attend one of the get-togethers in the Beaver Room, but that I was afraid I'd be very scared and shy. After all, I'd never been with a guy before at all, so this seemed like a very big step!
"Rita said not to worry about a thing, that she would be right there with me, to keep an eye on me. Then she said something that made me feel very funny. She said, 'You know, Carlotta, I'll enjoy keeping an eye on you. You're a damned good-looking girl. It'll be a pleasure to see what you look like with your clothes off. I'll bet you've got a lot to offer'. I kind of blushed at the compliment, but the idea that Rita was interested in seeing my nude body made me sort of scared and excited at the same time. I told her I guessed it would be okay to tell Tom, Bob and Bart that I'd join them the next time they had one of their little parties. But I told her I wanted to make sure I could leave any time I wanted to. Rita laughed and pinched my cheek, and said, 'Don't worry little cherry-girl, you won't want to leave once you get in on a little of the action.'
"A few nights later, Rita told me that she had made all the arrangements, and that the party was to be the next night. When Tom passed by the concession stand that night, he was really giving me the eye. I smiled at him, sort of nervous-like, and he walked over and said, 'I hear you're coming to our little party tomorrow night, Carlotta.' When I nodded my head that I was coming, he said, 'Swell-I know you're going to enjoy it!' That made me feel a little better, because he didn't leer at me the way I thought he might-the way the old creep who had been playing with himself in the coffee shop had done. Tom just seemed really pleased that I was coming to the party, just as though it was going to be a PTA tea party or something. I guess he acted that way on purpose to make me feel better about the whole thing, but it still' made me feel more relaxed and confident.
"The next night I wore my sexiest undies again, took a long hot bath and doused myself with perfume. I could hardly wait until the last show had ended so that the party could begin. As soon as the show was over, Rita took me upstairs and into the Beaver Room. Tom and Bob were already there sitting down in two of the plush, leather chairs that were placed all around the room. There was a giant bed, thick drapes, a big bar, and a huge fireplace. Besides Bob and Tom, there were two new people there I had never met before. One, of course, was Bart, the manager. He was an extremely good-looking man in his early forties who wore a small black goatee and had gray sprinkled all through his black hair. With him was a petite girl in her late twenties wearing a leather mini-skirt, a bright red scarf stuffed into her silk blouse, and a pair of long black boots that reached halfway up her thighs. Her name was Gloria and she had blond hair that hung down to her waist and a sexy smile that showed off her white teeth.
"When I entered the room, Bart walked over and took my hand. Then he bowed and kissed it, just like in the European movies. He asked Gloria and Rita to sit down near Bob and Tom, then introduced me. He said, 'We have someone special among us tonight, friends and lovers. This little lady is here for a very special reason. Her name is Carlotta and if you'll all just take a good look at her, I don't think I'll need to add much more.'
"Then Bart turned to me and said, 'Do you want to tell everyone what you're doing here, dear?' I didn't have any idea I would be so much in the spotlight, so I was a little embarrassed. I opened my mouth and started to speak, but nothing would come out. Then Rita said, 'It's okay, honey. You're among friends. Tell them why you're here.'
"That made me feel a little better, so I said, 'Well, I'm 20-years-old, but I've never ... uh ... I haven't ever ... I mean, I'm-'
"Gloria interrupted me then and said, 'Don't be nervous, darling. What Rita said is true. Every one here is your friend. You have nothing to worry about. Now, are you trying to tell us that you've never had sex before ... that you're still a virgin? Is that it?'
"I nodded and mumbled that she was right. Then Bob, Tom, Gloria, Rita and Bart all smiled at each other and looked at me with warm, loving expressions.
"Gloria spoke again. 'You're going to be glad you came here tonight, Carlotta. For the moment, just have a seat and enjoy yourself-right, Bart?'
"Bart answered, 'Right. Sit right down here by me-and you and I will just let the others entertain us.' Then he turned to the others and said, 'Okay, kids, make yourselves at home and do whatever you feel like doing. If you don't mind, Carlotta and I are going to just sit here and watch you. But first let's all have a drink!'
"Everyone had a quick drink. I don't know what was in mine, but I can tell you that it made me relax in no time flat. And as soon as I finished, Bart put another one into my hand. Then I settled back in my chair beside Bart as Gloria and Rita joined Bob and Tom. The girls went over and sat on their laps, putting their arms around them and giving them big hugs.
"Bart called out, 'Don't be bashful, kids. The bed's big enough for all of you to relax on, if you feel like being more comfortable.'
"Rita said, 'I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like I have too many clothes on. What about it, gang?'
"Tom said, 'That's no problem, honey. Just lie back on this bed and I'll undress you. I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable when those big tits of yours get some air!'
"Everyone laughed and Gloria said, 'She's right, you know. I'd feel much better if I was down to my undies, at least. Think you can help me out there, Bob?'
"Bob looked at the svelte figure on his lap, encased in leather and net stockings, and fairly bursting with sex appeal, for a half of a second before yelling, 'You bet I can help you out, baby. And I can do more than get you down to your skivvies, too.' With that he picked Gloria up and lay her down on the bed beside Tom and Rita, who were already at work removing their clothing. Rita's big breasts were bouncing around as she turned on her side to allow Tom's hands to find her skirt zipper. Her bra was already off and had been flung into the corner, and Tom was wasting no time getting into her panties. I was surprised at how big the bed was. Although both couples were lying there together on the same bed, they were at least four feet apart and still had plenty of room to move around in.
"All this time Bart had been just sitting beside me not saying a word. He was watching the others with a big smile on his face and a bright light in his eyes that told me he must have done the same thing to both girls in the past that was going on in front of him right then. I began to feel very warm toward him, partly because of the drinks, I guess, but mainly because of the fact that he hadn't yet made any moves toward me. I'd gathered by this time that I had been slated to be 'his girl' and that he must be the one who was going to have sex with me, so I thought it was especially nice that he was being so considerate.
"I even began to feel so good that I felt like being more sociable, so I said, 'This sure is a swell place you have here. Is it made especially to ... especially for the parties you have here?'
"Bart was obviously pleased that I had opened a conversation with him. 'Yes,' he said, 'that's exactly right, Carlotta. I had this room especially built to provide the right kind of background so my friends and I could come and have a little fun with no prying eyes to interfere.'
"When I smiled at him he must have taken that for a 'go-ahead' signal, and to tell you the truth I guess that's the way I meant it to be. Anyway, Bart casually draped his arm around me and asked me if I wanted another drink. I told him that I didn't and added that there was something I would like to tell him if I only knew him a little better.
"His eyes brightened and he asked me to go ahead and confide in him. He said he would like to consider himself close to me even if he hadn't known me very long. By this time I was really getting bold, what with the drinks and the way the others were feeling each other up and everything, so I said to Bart, 'Let me whisper it in your ear.'
"He was more than willing, of course, to bend down and get closer to me so I could put my lips near his ear. When he did, I said in a low whisper, 'I may be a virgin, Bart, but what they're doing on the bed there is making me feel very strange. I feel kind of warm all over, and I'm having other feelings I don't even want to tell you about!' When I said that, Bart was suave as could be.
"Keeping his head close to mine, he then whispered into my ear as I had done to him. He said, 'You don't know how glad I am that you told me that little secret, baby. Now let me see if I can't make you feel a little better about that strange way you feel. Maybe the first thing you and I ought to do is to find out a little more about the way you feel. For instance, if you feel warm, like you said, don't you think you'd feel cooler if we opened up your blouse a little bit, like this?'
"As he was talking to me he began slowly to unbutton the pearl buttons on my blouse, going from the top down. I just went ahead and let him do it, but I kind of turned my head away so I wouldn't have to look him in the eyes. Then I leaned farther back into the chair and answered, 'I guess that would be okay.' I could feel the air across the cleavage of my breasts and I knew that he was seeing what I had seen in the mirror-a tight bra with lace across the top, fairly bursting with two soft, smooth mounds of flesh. I could almost feel the heat of his hot stare down into my bra as he unbuttoned the last button on my blouse, and I could definitely feel the current of his hot breath as he breathed onto my breasts.
"When he had my blouse open all the way he said, 'Now let's see if we can't discover some more about those feelings you have. Could one of those feelings you don't even want to tell me about be centered right about here on your body?' And he let his hand fall down into my lap, ever so slowly, like he didn't want to scare me. He just let it lie motionless in my lap, but I could feel the heat from it all the way through my skirt and my panties which, after all, were very wispy and thin.
"I was beginning to feel pretty saucy by this time. He had won my confidence and made me feel free with him. So I answered, 'How did you ever know what I was talking about, Bart? That's exactly the place where I'm beginning to have a feeling that I'm embarrassed to tell you about.' I guess that sounded kind of coy to Bart, but I was telling him the truth. He turned his hand over in my lap and allowed his fingers to begin a slow, caressing motion through my skirt that set me on fire. I made no bones about the fact that I was getting enjoyment out of it. I couldn't help myself-I was beginning to turn and twist my body against his hand.
"With his other hand, Bart pointed to the bed where the others were lying pressed together. I had almost forgotten about them because of my increasing excitement, even though they were right in front of us. Bart said, 'Looks like a couple of other girls in this room are having some nice feelings, too, doesn't it?'
"By this time both couples had most of their clothes off. Rita was down to her panties, and Tom had nothing on but his pants. I guess he had his undershorts on too-I couldn't see that well. But the few clothes he had on weren't enough to keep Rita from finding his big prick and dragging it out into the open where she could go to work on it. She was rubbing it with both hands and every once in a while she would bend down and take a quick mouthful of it. Tom had his arms tight around her lower back and was sucking for dear life on one of her giant tits. They were both beginning to rock slowly back and forth in a gentle, swaying motion.
"Right beside them, Bob and Gloria were apparently getting each other hot as hell. Gloria still had her bra on, but it seemed just to be a tease, because Bob was reaching inside it caressing one of her nipples in spite of the fact that she hadn't taken it off. As I watched them my eyes became riveted on the mat of blond hair between Gloria's legs. Bob was playing with her there, and I could see his fingers nestling deep among the hair and slowly stroking her pussy. As Bart and I watched, we saw the soft, red lips of her pussy grow wet and inflamed with blood red color. Bart had already started slipping his hand into my skirt at the waist and I offered no resistance, so he soon had my skirt unzipped and lying down on the floor encircling my feet.
"Then, as I continued to watch the couples on the bed, Bart's head dropped to my lap, and with a groan he started doing the same thing to me that Bob was doing to Gloria. It was the most incredibly good feeling I had ever experienced in my life. I couldn't get enough of it. I began to move around thrashing my hips all over the place. Just then Bart's lips separated from my wet pussy long enough to call out, 'Move over, kids, Carlotta and I need room on the bed. I think it's finally time for this girl to have her cherry split!'
"The next few minutes were such a wild orgy that I'm surprised I was able to join in, considering I was a virgin and everything. But Bart had gotten me so hot I guess I was ready for anything. The first thing I knew, all my clothes were off and I was feeling Bart's prick at the threshold of my virgin pussy. And both Bob and Tom were working me over at the top. Each one had a mouthful of one of my breasts. I could see that Rita and Gloria weren't being lazy, though. They were going down on Tom and Bob, and the sound of them sucking the pricks of the two guys who were mouthing my breasts made me hotter and hotter. I reached over and did something I had never felt any desire to do before. I started playing with the girls' pussies with my hands, one on each side. This made them so happy that they both twisted around and began to cover my face with kisses while Bart continued to pump away inside my pussy and both Tom and Bob kept sucking my tits.
"I felt like I was in heaven, and from all the sounds the others were making, I know they were feeling the same way. I was so far gone that I hadn't felt any pain at all when my cherry busted and sent a trickle of blood down my leg. Then, in a few minutes after we were all connected, all six began to come at the same time. We were all moaning and groaning like you wouldn't believe. Finally, at one magic moment, we all hit our peaks at once. I felt a gush of hot fluid fill my pussy and felt Tom's and Bob's teeth on my nipples as they both shot their loads into the sucking mouths of Rita and Gloria. And both my hands were wet with their pussy juice as I felt the rapid little movements that told me they were both getting their cookies.
"Well, we were all so exhausted it took us a while before any of us were rested enough to stir from the bed. Needless to say, I had sex with them again very often after that in the room at the theater. After a few months I began to sell my body on the streets, because I could make more money and have more satisfaction at the same time. I sent money each month to take care of my brother and sisters. Of course, I never mentioned a thing about the way I was making it. So that's how I've been supporting them for the last three years. I don't know how long I'll keep it up-as long as men think I'm desirable enough to pay for my body, I guess. I feel that I owe it to my brother and sisters to give them as much as I can, and so far I think I can say that they're better off than they would be if my parents had lived. I'm thankful that my mother's insane sex ideas won't be forced on them, and that they will have the chance to have a healthy interest in sex."
PSYCHOLOGIST'S SUMMARY
The social worker who was assigned to Carlotta's district had adequately handled the financial and social problems of Carlotta's case. It remained for the social worker's colleagues, of whom I was one, to comment on Carlotta's personal and sexual behavior. When presented with the facts, it seemed to us that the religious mania of her mother was very instrumental in determining Carlotta's eventual activity as a prostitute.
Her mother's unhealthy attitudes toward sex obviously resulted from guilt feelings arising from the circumstances of her husband's death. It is clear that she felt-unconsciously, of course-the responsibility for his death. Further, this guilt feeling seems directly related to her performance of what she regarded as an unnatural sex act with the man who visited her in the absence of her husband. Her biological drive was sufficiently strong to overcome her initial objections to performing the act of fellatio, even though, in her own words, "I don't even do that for my husband." This same drive, however, was not strong enough to forestall serious guilt feelings after she had indulged in the act.
These feelings were intensified at the time of her husband's accidental death. It is not surprising, then, that she attributed his untimely death to her own "immoral" behavior, and readily accepted it as divine "punishment" when it occurred. The most unfortunate thing is that she carried these unwarranted feelings one step further, and unconsciously implemented them in the bringing up of her family. As for Carlotta herself, it was simply a case of finally being able to sample the "forbidden," once her mother was no longer present to stop her. Sexual deprivation is biologically unacceptable to the human organism if continued too long after puberty, as it was in Carlotta's case. When this situation does occur-especially in a person possessing inherently strong libidinal feelings, such as Carlotta-the results often produce an extremely strong desire to perform those acts of which the person feels she has been deprived. If this experience then proves favorable, as with Carlotta, it is not unusual to find that a basic life style may develop around the activities which satisfy the libidinal drive of the participant. In Carlotta's case, of course, this instinct manifested itself in her career as a practicing prostitute.