Chapter 4
Tony Was Chubby"Some people would say a girl like me deserves to be raped. So when I tell you about what happened to me and my two girl friends, those people just won't have any sympathy. That's all right; I guess that's just the way it's got to be. I've accepted the fact that being a sex-flick actress brings out the self-righteousness in 'better people. '
"Anyway, no matter how I may appear morally to other people, I still like to have the right to pick and choose my own sex partners. I don't like being forced into things, and I don't like rough stuff.
"That's the main thing I have against what happened to me - getting raped. But not the sex part of it. I love sex, and I must admit I enjoyed some of the sex that night I was raped, along with my girl friends Jill and Monica, by three guys. And I must also admit that I think the experience was valuable for me, since I learned something more about human nature - about the motivations behind what was being forced upon me.
"But before I go into the details of that, perhaps I'd better tell you a few things about myself.
"My name is Toni Schiffer, and I'm eighteen years old. I'm certainly not the best-looking chick working in sex flicks - nowhere near as cutesy as Jill or as strikingly beautiful as Monica - but all the same I'm considered something of a superstar in my field, the reasons for which I'll go into in a moment.
"I'd better confess my chief physical fault right off the bat: I'm chubby. Not super-fat, but what people in their kinder moments call pleasingly plump. At least the fat is mostly in the right places. I have the kind of butt men can't resist pinching when it's clothed and grasping passionately when it's not, and Monica has called my breasts 'the eighth and ninth wonders of the world. ' They are, to put it succinctly, gigantic.
"Yet, knock on wood, they don't follow the laws of gravity. I know they'll sag terribly someday - that's inevitable. But right now they stick out, in all their glory, and even curve upward a bit for a ski-jump effect. I have absolutely no need for a bra, though Jill says I should wear one, or at least band aids at the tips, out of mercy to men, since the nipples have a way of enticing stares and worse, the way they poke out of my T-shirts and blouses. My reddish-pink nipples, set in silver dollar-sized areolas, are forever plump and erect, though they get even more so when teased and caressed. And, as I said, they top off some tremendous soft mountains - size 44s to be exact.
"Well, I guess I've stressed the best attributes of my plumpness. I'd also better say, to be fair, that my tummy bulges more than it should and my thighs are meatier than I would desire. Also, my face would be more attractive if it were less round. But I can't help it - I love eating, and all my attempts at dieting have gone to naught. In any case, I've accepted that I am what I am, and I like myself just as I am. I really wouldn't change a thing.
"A few more details of myself, and then I'll tell you why I'm considered a star in my films. I have blue eyes, a fair complexion that blushes easily, and a naturally blonde hair that I streak with darker shades. I'm five feet five inches tall.
"I'm a star in sex flicks, and rapidly became one, because I'm very talented. Not that I can act all that well - I'm no Katherine Hepburn. My talents are more specialized and unusual. I think the whole thing will become clear when I say I learned them by reading about Linda Lovelace.
"Right. I can do what she does. It wasn't easy, but I forced myself to learn those zany techniques. It takes a lot of discipline to learn how to stretch your ass and open your throat that way, and that's why there are so few sex actresses around who can do it. Let me tell you, though, it's worth the trouble, and once you've got the knack you've got it for good.
"The guys who raped me and my two girl friends knew nothing about my peculiar abilities, but they knew that I and Jill and Monica were sex film actresses. I don't know exactly how they found out, but apparently they knew that the place we regularly entered to go work was a sex-film studio, and they just put two and two together. Also, they might have seen one of us or more in a movie, and then spotted us on the street. Anyway, the fact that we earned our living as we did seemed to be the thing that incited the rape itself. Or that's what they made us think by what they said to us.
"Well, the way I look at it now, now that it's all over and done, is that perhaps it's better that it was us than maybe some innocent little girl or something like that. I mean, no one likes to be raped, but there's no denying that it is more of a shock for some women than for others.
"Jill, Monica, and I all have pretty good heads on our shoulders, and we think that we look at life pretty realistically. So we go through it prepared to meet the bad as well as the good. I've known the both of them for about six months. We met working in a film called Sex School Kittens. We've been close friends ever since.
"Jill is a petite boyish brunette, who has a slim little body and stands five feet exactly. She wears her hair closely cropped, but it looks way stylish around her pretty, pixieish face. Monica is utterly beautiful. She's a statuesque redhead, about five feet seven, with freckles over most of her body. And that body is just out of this world - perfectly proportioned all the way down the line.
"I've watched Jill and Monica in action in film after film and I know that, though they don't have my special skills, they're everything a man could desire when it comes to loving. And I know more than that about them. Since almost all the films we've made together call for scenes with some lesbian action in them. I know firsthand that these girls really knew how to arouse someone. Eventually, we moved in together, and we make love sometimes there, though our jobs absorb most of our sexual energies. All three of us, I'd better explain, like men best, but we're all ready for any kind of excitement.
"But we weren't too crazy about what happened that Friday evening, when we walked out of the doors of the studio and headed toward the back of the building, where our car was parked. The studio is located on the edge of town, in an industrial section where there is little traffic after the workers in the area have gone home. It was right around six thirty, and the sky was halfway between crimson twilight and night.
"We girls were chatting merrily about this new guy who'd been hired to act a part in the film we'd been making. We were supposed to have filmed this scene, ironically, where he was supposed to have locked us in his dungeon, chained to a wall, and he was going to have his sadistic way with us. But the scene got cut short when that age old problem occurred - failure to rise. The guy, a handsome young dude, was not accustomed to the lights and the camera and the people watching, and though he seemed to have the right equipment, he just couldn't get it enthused. We tried everything to get him into gear, but no matter what we did or what the director suggested, he just couldn't get in the mood. We tried over and over again, but finally the director said we'd start over the next day. We girls were a bit frustrated, wanting to rub up against this good-looking new fella, but we couldn't help but giggle over his predicament. We were talking so much and laughing so hard that we didn't even notice the '57 Chevy until it had pulled up next to us.
"Hey girls,' came a voice from the car, 'look over here. Look what I got. '
"It was a young, blonde guy with long hair and a beard. And he was pointing a pistol right at us.
"Monica let out a sharp little shriek. 'Shut up,' said the guy, 'and get your asses in here. Climb into the back seat with my friend here, and be quick about it. '
"There were two other guys in the car - a driver, and someone in the back seat. For a moment we hesitated, neither complying with him or trying to run away. We looked around for help but there were no other people or cars in sight.
"Don't even think about trying to run away,' said the longhair. 'If you think this is a toy, or you think I won't put a bullet in each of your lovely bodies, you'd better think again. Now move!' His tone of voice made believers out of us. We opened the back door and got inside.
"The guy in the back seat was black, and he was a very big guy. He had no gun - apparently the blonde was the only one with a gun - but he didn't really need one. He looked like a football player or wrestler. The guy in front had long, greasy hair, and he looked at us with hungry, crazy eyes. We learned that he was a Mexican-American when he talked - making obscene comments about us as we huddled, frightened to death, in the back seat.
"Never mind,' said the blonde to his Mexican companion, 'let's get out of here. Head for the house. ' He seemed to be the leader of the three. He turned to us as the car sped down the street. 'Now just remember girls - if any one of you tries to bolt out of this car, she'll get shot right then and there. And even if she gets away, then her two girl friends are gonna get it. I don't think you want to get anyone killed, now do you? So just sit still, enjoy the ride, and be quiet. We'll be at the house soon. '
"We girls looked at each other frantically, not daring to talk. Poor little Jill had climbed into the back seat first, and was sitting next to the big black guy, pressed up against him. He soon pulled her up into his lap, handling her like a little doll, with his hands - giant mitts - under her arms and on her small, but upthrusting breasts. She started to struggle against him, but he wasn't about to stand for that in the least.
"Now don't give me no trouble,' he said in a soft but menacing tone. "I'm gonna do what I want with you, or you'll get it. ' Even when he had her on his lap, he didn't take his hands from her chest, but instead began to move them all around that area, Jill writhed and tried to pull his big hands off with her little ones.
"The long-hair blonde had been watching this from the front. He quickly, like a snake striking, reached across the seat and slapped Jill's little face once, twice, and then again, hard, viciously.
"Leave her alone,' I shouted, and before the words were barely out of my mouth, the long-hair clutched my throat in his big hand. I couldn't breathe. Then he pushed me back roughly against the seat, letting go of his hold.
"You'd better cooperate!' he shouted. 'You'd better get smart, or it's gonna be bad, real bad for you. '
To emphasize what he said, he slapped Monica across the face, though she hadn't been doing a thing. All three of us were crying by now. The big black guy continued to maul Jill's body, his breath coming louder and louder.
"We eventually entered a residential area, where we were told to get down on the floor-board and not look up, or we'd be killed right then and there. We did as we were told. The car obviously pulled into the driveway and into a garage, whose door was shut behind it. Then we were allowed to get back up, though we were once again told to keep our mouths shut.
"There was a light on in the garage, but it had no windows, so we couldn't see out and couldn't be seen from outside. We were led through a door into a kitchen and from there into a spacious bedroom. The house evidently belonged to one of the three men, and just as evidently he had some wealth.
"We were told to sit on a couch in the middle of the room while the three guys huddled together in a corner, talking so we couldn't hear them. It gave me a chance to get a good look at them for the first time. Both the blonde longhair and the black guy were tall, though the white guy was skinny while the other was husky and muscled, and they were both dressed pretty sloppily - the white guy in jeans and a white T-shirt, the black guy in old, faded black pants with a flower-print shirt hanging out.
"Beside them, the Mexican guy stood out. He was a lot shorter, maybe five foot six or so, and he was dressed much neater, though informally.
"They walked over to us. The blonde still had the gun in his hand. The Mexican looked at us intensely. 'Open your mouths,' he ordered.
"What?' questioned Monica.
"You heard me. Open your mouths and hold them open. '
"We looked at the blonde, who'd raised the gun so that it was pointed at us, and we obeyed.
"The Mexican popped a couple of pills into each of our mouths. We had no idea what kind of pills they were. We were ordered to swallow them.
"At least give us a glass of water, you creeps,' said spunky little Jill, and got a hand across her face as a reward. We swallowed the pills as we'd been told.
"Then the blonde guy made an announcement.
"I want you girls to listen to me very closely. We haven't picked you up and brought you over here to play Monopoly. Were going to have our fun with you tonight, whether you like it or not. ' He paced back and forth nervously as he talked to us, always holding a tight grip on the pistol. 'The best thing that you can do, not only for us, but for yourselves, is to do exactly what we tell you to do, and right when we tell you to do it. Otherwise you'll get hit. Or worse. You understand what I'm saying so far?'
"We nodded our heads in fright.
"Okay. Now the object of our little game here, in case you haven't guessed it yet, is sex. We three are going to get our rocks off, and you'd be better off helping us than fighting us. That way you'll get out of here faster. '
I couldn't help sighing in relief when I heard that he planned to let us go eventually.
"The longhair noticed my reaction. 'That's right,' he said, 'we're going to free you - if you do what we want and if you promise not to go to the police. But that means you gotta do everything any of us tells you to do. Got that straight?'
"This time we nodded with more emphasis.
"Their first order was a test of whether we would go through with this agreement right off. He ordered Monica to lie on the floor between the couch and an extremely heavy cabinet full of books. He told her that the black guy was going to tie her down - tie her so that she would hardly be able to move. Monica gulped, but didn't dare to object. She moved over to the part of the thick carpet he had specified and lay down, trembling but submissive.
"Oh yeah,' said the blonde. 'One more thing before he puts the ropes on you. And this goes for you two other girls too. Take every bit of your clothes off. '
"We obeyed. We knew we had to. And we knew that we were only at the beginning of our nightmare. These guys were going to have their way with us. It was either that that or be killed, I realized at that moment. So I pledged to myself that I'd cooperate with them as much as possible, to get things over with as quickly as we could.
"When Monica lay back down on the carpet she did so completely naked. I saw the eyes of the Mexican almost bug out of his head when he saw the way her reasonably large, freckled breasts jiggled, but didn't flatten out in the least when she lay on her back. His eyes, as well as those of the other two rapists moved over her entire body, drinking in the beautiful sight of her indrawn waist, her supple thighs, and the enticing patch of red hair in the vee between them. I have to confess that my eyes were on her, too, even though I'd seen that classic beauty of hers so many times before.
"Wow, we struck gold here, man,' said the black.
"Yeah. It sure looks good. I can hardly wait, echoed the Mexican, now moving his gaze over all three of our unclothed bodies, evidently trying to decide which he wanted to get his hands on first. The extent of his excitement was obvious at the crotch of his trousers, where a sizable bulge was forming.
"Okay,' said the blonde longhair gruffly, 'quit gawking and get the rope. Tie that redhead, and tie her down tight. Then you can gawk, and get a handful as well. '
"The black and the Mexican quickly complied, going into the garage, and emerging with several lengths of cord. With this they fastened Monica's wrists and ankles firmly to the legs of the heavy couch and cabinet. We watched helplessly, wondering if there was more rope for us. But the attention of the men, for the time being, was fixed on the fascinating beauty of the shapely redhead. I couldn't blame them. I had kissed those taut, pink little nipples and those puffy red lips often myself, and put my head between those silky thighs. I knew how she could drive you crazy. But my lovemaking with the redheaded beauty had always been gentle, truly loving. These animals were crueler.
"They proved that their natures were warped immediately by pulling out, of all things, a feather. The Mexican began to trail it up and down Monica's body - along her neck, collarbone, between her breasts, up to the nipples, dallying there, then on down her stomach to where her pubic hair began. All the time the poor girl whimpered and writhed and pleaded with them to stop. She begged for a while and then she called them the worst names she could think of, and then she began to beg again. The way the ropes were tied, her legs were spread open, and it was impossible for her to shut them, no matter how hard she tried when the feather approached the private spot between them.
"The Mexican, laughing and commenting all the while, went straight for the clitoris with his little delicate instrument of torture. He flicked the soft sides of the feather against the little bud first, causing her to writhe even more frantically than before, and then the beast used the point of the thing directly on her sensitive button, cruelly flicking it back and forth, again and again.
"Oooooooh. Aaaaaaaah, Oooooooh, God, no,' Monica moaned. 'I can't stand. . . aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!' She was screaming now, and the black covered her mouth with one of his big hands. Muffled groanings continued to come from the poor, tortured girl.
"After running the feather up and down the girl's moistening vaginal lips with similar sadistic glee, the Mexican finally set it aside. He stepped into another room and came back with something that caused Jill and me, who saw it before Monica, to gasp aloud together. It was a whip. He walked straight over to the tied down girl and cracked it against her defenseless stomach.
"Aaaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiii!' my friend screeched, the black having pulled his hand from her mouth. He immediately slapped her face and then covered her lips again.
"The whip came down again and again, leaving red welts on her breasts, stomach and thighs. Eventually, the Mexican tired, and started to hand the whip to the blonde, but he shook his head.
"We've got two other girls here, you know,' he said, sending a chill down my back.
"You want me to whip them too?' Asked the Mexican.
"No,' answered the longhair, 'I have something better in mind. '
"He started to unbuckle the belt on his old jeans, and told the other men to do likewise. In an instant, all three had dropped their pants and climbed out of them.
"I stared unblinkingly at them. The Mexican's manhood stood up fully erect at an angle from his body. It seemed to be about average size. But the black guy's, even though it hung down, not nearly all the way erect, was much larger. I couldn't believe the size of it. The blonde's equipment, though also not as rampant as the Mexican's, was seemingly larger than the norm too.
"Come over here, the blonde commanded, pointing a finger at Jill. She rose and walked over beside him. 'Kneel down. ' Jill knew what he wanted, and didn't wait for the next order. She took him in her small hand, and drew two inches into her thin lips. The blonde sighed and the other two men laughed.
"Ain't that somethin'' said the black. 'We gonna get some of that too?' he asked his friend, watching Jill's mouth move up and down slowly with envy.
"Sure,' said the blonde, and pulled Jill's head off of himself with an audible plop. 'Now do my friends. First him,' he said, pointing to the Mexican.
"Now Jill had something hard to work with, instead of the soft tool she'd just been mouthing. She went about it dutifully, even arduously, as I could see from the movements of her short-haired head and the look on the Mexican's face.
"The black was next, and he'd become much larger since watching Jill at work on his two friends, so that Jill had to open her mouth wide to accommodate him. She could only get about one-fourth of him into her mouth, though she sucked him in deeply.
"Back and forth she went. They stood in a circle around her, each waiting his turn, all erect now under her skillful ministrations. But they didn't want to ejaculate yet, so they finally stopped her and sent her back to the couch. As one of them said, 'The evening's still young. We haven't even started yet. '
"We three girls looked into their faces, wondering where their imagination and desire would lead us next. Already they'd hurt us and humiliated us. What else would they do? I knew the hopes running through my head were the same running through the minds of my two friends - that they wouldn't hurt us too badly, that they'd soon be satisfied, and that they'd free us.
"But one thing was for certain - what they'd just said was very, very, true. The evening was still young. . .
". . . The three young men who had kidnapped Monica, Jill and me had already made use of my two friends. Now it was my turn to be abused. The order, as usual, came from the blonde, long haired leader.
"You!' he barked at me. 'Off the couch. Come here. ' I walked over to him and he ran a hand over my body, my breasts mainly - which he seemed fascinated with, the way his eyes glimmered. He was mostly gentle, though once he squeezed one of my huge, upright breasts roughly, causing the flesh to bulge from between his fingers like dough. Then he turned to the other two men.
"Untie the redhead,' he said.
"After Monica had been released, she was placed on the couch, next to petite Jill.
"Spread your legs wide,' the blonde told them, 'and keep them that way. '
"After he was sure the girls had obeyed, he grabbed me by the arm. "Walk over there to the couch, kneel down, and put your head between the redhead's thighs,' he ordered.
"I did as he commanded, using my lips and tongue on Monica's sex, which was still moist from the excitement she'd felt, despite herself, from her ordeal with the feather and the whip. When she began to whimper and moan with delight, the blonde had me shift over to Jill's open thighs, where I went to work in similar fashion on her, running my teasing tongue up and down her sensitive groove, often concentrating on the seat of her desire, her clitoris, which was unusually large and, I knew from experience, was also unusually responsive. Before long, what I was doing got to Jill, and she put her hands on the back of my head, pulling it closer to her.
"Will ya look at that,' said the giant black, his sex still as erect as ever, though it had never attained it's full size, 'they really like it. They's a couple of lezzies. '
"The Mexican nodded his head in agreement, but when he saw me looking at him (he was masturbating himself) he angrily barked at me to get back to what I was doing.
"Jill, by her little cries and yells, was obviously approaching climax, and the men, not wanting to give us too much pleasure, stopped me from bringing her to orgasm. Instead, they had her and me get onto the carpet in front of the couch and assume a sixty-nine position, with me on top. Jill buried her face between my thighs, while once again I set about working her toward her release. Above us I could hear the three men commenting and chortling.
"As I tongued Jill and she tongued me, I felt sexual tremors move through me from what she was doing to my clitoris and vagina - but I felt something in addition to that. My whole body glowed with a feeling I had never felt before. My head swam. Everything felt so. . . sexy. . . and full of. . . energy. Finally, through this encroaching fog, I realized that whatever drugs these guys had fed us earlier was beginning to take effect on me, and probably on my two friends as well. I had no idea what I had been given, and I still don't know to this day, but whatever it was, it was making me feel extremely horny. Jill's tongue felt absolutely wild as it trailed crazily around my vaginal area. And I, in turn, went after her with a new enthusiasm.
"Above Jill's moans and my own, and the slurping sounds we were unavoidably making, I heard other female noises, and I rose my head to look around and see what was happening.
"Monica had been dragged down to the carpet herself, and the Mexican had his stiff rod deeply planted in her vagina, while the blonde leader was forcing her to give him head, holding her long, red hair in one of his hands while she moved her lips up and down his throbbing shaft. Then the blonde looked over and saw me staring, and he told me to get my face back down into Jill's pubes.
"Jill and I worked ourselves up to writhing, simultaneous climaxes, but we weren't allowed to collapse on the carpet and rest. The black guy made sure of that, even going so far as to hold my head in place. He ran his huge hands over my plump body and Jill's slim one, time and again, murmuring things about how nice we felt.
"Soon that wasn't enough for him. He came around to me and told me to hold me to look up. I did, and I was confronted with the biggest erect penis I had ever seen in my short but very experienced life. It was gigantic, unbelievably so. It must have been two full inches in diameter and ten, maybe more, inches in length. It was coal black.
"Kiss it,' he said. I did. 'Again,' he ordered, and this time, despite the difficulty, I pulled about three inches of his stiff rod into my warm mouth and ran my tongue around it.
"Oh,' he groaned above me. 'You know how to do that thing, um-um. Gimme lots of tongue action, oh yeah. '
"But he abruptly pulled out of my mouth and moved over behind me. I had to face it - he was going to put that log inside me. But I was ready for it, I was sure. I'd easily taken dildos as large as that up me since I'd learned how to flex my vaginal muscles to accommodate any size, though I'd never had an actual man of that size. Not one I could recall, anyway.
"Sure enough, he rammed it into me. It filled me pretty good, better than I thought I'd ever be filled by a man. He moved it in and out slowly. Jill continued to lick at my clitoris, and evidently she was licking him too, when he emerged from me. I started to use one of my special tricks - squeezing on his rod with my vaginal muscles. This is something prostitutes do to speed up their customers, but I'm better at it than any whore. He felt it, all right. He began to push and pull faster, and little cries came from his throat.
"Feel so good. Oh yeah,' he stammered. 'It's all right. ' With my muscles working on him and Jill's tongue adding to his pleasure, the black guy didn't know whether he was coming or going. Soon he was pumping into me as fast and hard as he was able, and then, with a great roar, he climaxed deep within me.
"But after a minute, he recuperated, and had Jill and me trade places, with me now on the bottom. Then he had Jill in the anus. The poor little chick howled as he entered. Fortunately, he was still wet and slick from being in me, which cut down some on the friction. All the same, it was painful for the girl's narrow channel. I was forced to lick her vagina, which meant that I had to watch him go in and out of her at close range. Jill's own head between my thighs was getting me excited again, though, and I began to watch the action in earnest. Soon, all three of us came to a shaking orgasm, and we collapsed on the carpet.
"Nearby, the blonde and the Mexican were enjoying Monica's body together, the blonde making the redheaded girl crouch over him, with his white penis lodged deeply in her, while the smaller man took her from behind. I watched them until they, too, all climaxed and fell in a sweaty heap.
"We all laid around for a while, breathing hard, unable to say a thing. Finally, after we'd rested for about five minutes, the Mexican fella propped himself up on his elbows and made a suggestion.
"Hey, who wants a shower?' he asked. Now that he had, had a sexual release, he seemed friendlier and less imposing. 'Let's take the girls into the shower, man,' he said to the blonde and the black.
"The blonde longhair was still exhausted, or so he seemed, shaking his head without raising it. But the black guy was ready. 'Come on, girls,' he shouted.
"Okay, go ahead,' said the blonde guy. 'But not her,' he added, pointing to me. This puzzled me, but I didn't object. The other four people - the black, the Mexican, Jill and Monica - left the room, leaving me and the third guy alone.
"Why didn't you want me to go, too,' I asked.
"None of your business,' he said gruffly. 'Just lay back and shut up. '
"But I wanted to know one more thing. I wanted to hear his answer to this question and see if I could believe his tone of voice. 'Will you let us go now?'
"No,' he answered, chilling me with terror. But he added, 'Later. We'll let you go later if you do what I told you. But not now. Just lay back and relax, cause I'm not through with you yet. '
"Still I refused to stop questioning him. He interested me. 'Why are you doing this?' I asked him hesitantly, and when he didn't bark at me I added, 'Why do you have to rape girls? You're good-looking enough. Why don't you just get a date?'
"He just laughed softly.
"Encouraged by his lack of anger for the moment, I prodded him. 'Why,' I repeated, 'do you have to rape. . . '
"He cut me short. 'I don't have to do anything,' he said. 'Besides, you girls deserve to be raped. '
"Deserve!' I nearly screamed. 'And why in the world do we deserve to be raped, may I ask?'
"Because you're sluts!' he said, raising up. 'You make dirty movies, don't you? You're not going to deny that all three of you are sluttish whores who show off your bodies and do the dirtiest things you can think up in front of cameras are you?'
"It's dirty only if you consider sex dirty,' I countered. 'Is that what you think?'
"Sex is dirty when you do it that way, sure. '
"Oh nonsense. '
"You're dirty sluts who deserve everything you get. '
"How about rapists. Do they deserve everything they get - like the gas chamber?'
"Now he looked at me suspiciously and angrily. 'You going to tell on us then?' he asked in a menacing voice.
"I realized that I'd made a mistake. 'No. ' I said, 'that's not what I meant at all. I'm just trying to find out what this attitude of yours is. It sounds pretty crazy, putting down somebody who just makes sex movies, but not putting down someone who forces people to do what they don't want to do. Am I right or am I wrong?'
"You're not doing anything here you don't want do,' he said. 'You do these things all the time for those movies. '
"Yes, but I do them out of my own free choice, and I get paid for them. I don't suppose you plan to pay us, do you?'
"No,' he said, not being able to suppress a small grin. He seemed to relax now, and I felt relaxed myself. I'd let all thoughts of when he was holding a gun on me slip from my mind.
"You shouldn't feel that way about us,' I told him. 'And you shouldn't feel that way about sex. You think sex is dirty only because someone ground it into your mind, some poor person who had it ground into his mind when he was young. So you try to repress it, and you start to hate places where it isn't repressed at all, like sex movies, and the people who act in them. '"Oh yeah,' he said, 'what do you know?'
"I know a lot,' I told him, 'because I've left my mind open about life. I haven't ever been afraid to experiment. And by experimenting, I've found out for myself what's good for me and what's not. And one of the things I've found out is that sex is all right - and it doesn't matter whether you're getting it on in private, with one person, or in front of a camera with ten. What matters is that everyone involved is doing what he or she really wants to do. '
"I looked at him intently. He was listening to me without interrupting, and I was surprised.
"Of course, I guess I was lucky,' I observed. 'My parents were pretty liberal. They didn't try to teach me that a natural body function is dirty. '
"I don't want to talk about parents,' he said glowering. 'Go ahead and talk, but not about parents. '
"I suddenly felt very sorry for him. He sounded like a hurt, terrified little boy.
"What's your name?' I asked him.
"None of your business,' he said. 'Think I'm gonna tell you my name so you can go running to the police with it?'
"I just meant your first name,' I said. I got up, walked over, and crouched beside him. I looked into his blue eyes. 'Don't you believe me?' I asked.
He looked back at me for long seconds. Then his face broke out into a smile. 'Sure,' he said. 'My name is David. What's yours?'
"Toni,' I said. We kissed, and he hugged me to him.
"When we finally broke the caress, I said, 'I'd like to show you something. '
"What's that?' he asked.
"Just lay back and relax. '
"As soon as he had lain back, I took his limp penis into my hand and began to stroke it lightly. I cupped it in my hand and warmed it. It started to stir a little. I tugged on it carefully and twisted it just slightly. Then I stroked it some more. Next, I lowered my head until my lips were just a couple of inches away, and I blew air softly all over the penis' soft skin, up and down.
"I looked up briefly at David's eyes and saw him staring back with interest, curiosity and growing passion. I rewarded him by finally touching my lips to the head of his ever-growing shaft. I kissed it chastely with my lips, then drew back just a fraction of an inch and let my tongue snake out. I laved him lovingly, slowly, starting with the head and working down the sides.
"After spending a full three minutes at this, I took his whole rod, which was by now about three-quarters erect and already larger than the average man's fully erect penis, into the warm, wet cavern of my mouth.
"I just let it lay there for a moment, without causing any friction, enjoying the feeling of it there and knowing that it felt even more wonderful for him. It's really something to feel one of those things miraculously increase in size within you, whether it's in your mouth or in your vagina.
"But I wanted to get his thing up to it's full, most bursting size for the special treat I had in mind for him, and so I started a slow up-and-down movement, holding my lips firmly around the circumference of his widening shaft, and rose and fell all the way from the tip to the base and back again. On top of this, I gradually increased the vacuum in my mouth, letting my cheeks slowly pucker in more and more. And then I lazily ran my tongue in circles around and around the sides, top and bottom of the rod.
"It didn't take long.
"Wow!' he said simply, and reached down to run some of the strands of my blonde hair between his fingers as he watched me work with increasing ardor on him.
"He probably thought this is what I meant by 'showing him something,' so for a moment, I lifted my mouth off him and said, 'You ain't seen nothing yet. '
"By this time, when his penis re-entered my mouth, he was so full and erect that only half of his shaft could fit into my cavern until the head bumped against the opening to my throat. He was an extremely well-endowed man - which was just what I needed for the little act I was about to perform.
"I rose up carefully on my knees so that I could get my upper body in the right angle, then, with him still in my mouth, I raised my chin so that part of my neck directly beneath it was almost parallel to the bottom part of my neck. I let all but the last inch of him ooze out of my mouth slowly, looked up at his wondering face, then I did it - with one fell swoop I moved my lips all the way down to where they were smashed flat against his pubic hair, ensheathing his stiff, huge rod in my throat.
"He yelled, 'Oh my God!' but it was more the sound of an animal than a man. I knew from previous experience the reaction this talent of mine caused in men, especially men like this David - those who weren't expecting it at all. I just let it stay there for a few seconds, tightening my throat muscles around him tensely, not wanting him to come right away, which was the main danger in this sort of surprise. Luckily, he hadn't been so close, and he held his hard-on.
"Am I dreaming or do you actually have that thing in your throat?' he asked breathlessly.
"I just went 'ummmmmm,' knowing that the vibration this caused would be answer enough for him. And it was - a very similar sound came from his throat at the sensation this caused. Then I began to move, very slowly, releasing him a bit from my unusual hold.
"Oh baby,' he whispered as he felt what I was doing.
"Slowly, maddeningly, I pulled him completely from my throat. Once again I set my tongue and lips on him, but with care, not wanting his pleasure to end this soon.
"Before long I plunged down again on his great rod, sending it to the bottom, but this time I worked it in and out, and I knew that for him it was like having intercourse with the tightest virgin, but better, since not only could I open my throat to allow him to enter, but I could control the contractions of my throat, pumping him at will, which was enough to send any man up the wall.
"But he hadn't had the full treatment. I pulled my mouth off him suddenly and told him that there was more in store for him. I looked away from him, bending over, with my butt way up in the air. I told him where to put his hard penis, and I told him in no uncertain terms. He smiled at my bluntness and moved quickly to comply.
"He was probably surprised right off the bat, when he put the head of his huge plunger against my puckered anus and found that it slipped in quite easily, without the usual difficulty caused by anal intercourse.
"His rod moved all the way within my bowels with ease. Then, once it was in, I tightened down. Before, to allow him to enter, I'd relaxed my muscles - the same way I'd learned to relax my throat muscles. Now I contracted them, and I could feel every square inch of his rod along my passage.
"I let him pull and push as he normally would, but I continually contracted and released, and it wasn't long before he exploded within me, howling out his feelings.
"When the other guys came back in, I gave them some samples of my talents as well, and since the other girls, fresh from the shower, were much more relaxed too, we all cavorted around the living room, doing everything our imaginations could think of, until we were exhausted.
"They let us go as they promised, and they never bothered us again. I thought David would use force or threats to get me again, but I guess he was still a little afraid of me going to the police, so I never saw him again.
"Though the rape had it's ugly aspects, I don't totally regret the experience. You learn from everything, I suppose. If I do have any regret over it, it's like I told Tom our director, the day after it happened: it was too bad that he wasn't there to film it all. "
Toni is an interesting subject because she is one of a very small group of rape victims who not only have managed to have handled the experience without serious damage to her emotional, but have also managed to transform the experience itself to the point where it is difficult to determine whether she has even, in fact, been entirely victimized. She is, probably justifiably, proud of her abilities as a sexual partner, and sincerely enjoys giving sexual pleasure to men. In addition, she is proud of her body and reasonably confident of her attractiveness. All these factors give her, and her friends, a measure of internal security which is important in making them less vulnerable than many women who are sexually assaulted.
In addition, although they are forcibly abducted at gunpoint and made to go with their attackers against their will, once they arrive at the scene, they begin to be aroused and to cooperate. Because of this, most of the sexual intercourse that takes place cannot be considered a true sexual assault. The situation is potentially violent, and violent means are used to intimidate the girls and implement the kidnapping, but there is little violence in the actual sexual acts. Because of this, the situation is transformed into a true encounter, in which a relationship is established between Toni and her captor which would not have been possible had her behavior been different.
The circumstances in this case may resemble the circumstances in many cases of forcible abduction that do not get reported to the police. Gladys Denny Schultz in How Many More Victims? Discusses the fact that only a small proportion of rape incidents are reported: Many authorities state that only a small proportion of rape attacks and child molestations are made known to the police. Some say only one fourth are reported, while Dr. Karl M. Bowman, of the Langley Porter Clinic in San Francisco, reporting on the California Sexual Deviation Research Project, put the proportion as low as one fifth. The very first finding of the staff which carried out the first New York State study of sexual offenders in Sin Sing was: 'The problem is much more complex than had been thought. The spectacular cases which arouse so much public concern are numerically only a small part of the problem of sex crime. It involves not only thousands who are convicted but other thousands never discovered except by social acquaintance who never complain. . . . Toni's case is obviously one of those many thousands which is never reported to the police. This is partly because no damage has actually been done, partly because Toni herself generally enjoyed the experience, as did her friends, and partly because her attitude toward sexual encounters is broad enough to encompass even this highly unusual and somewhat offensive approach technique. It is significant that in this case the use of a gun to kidnap the girls becomes an "approach technique" rather than a true criminal act. This is entirely due to the response of the girls involved.
Although Toni definitely does not enjoy the intimidating aspects of the experience, she does somewhat enjoy the mild brutality that accompanies the initial stages of the sexual situation. In this case, and in her acceptance of the sex itself, she is not as unusual as she might seem. Paul Gebhard, et al, in Sex Offenders, discusses these aspects of the experience of sexual aggression for many women:The phenomenon of force or threat in sexual relationships between adults is beclouded by various things. In the first place, there may be the ambivalence of the female who is sexually aroused but who for moral or other reasons does not wish to have coitus. She is struggling not only against the male but against herself, and in retrospect it is exceedingly easy to convince herself she yielded to force rather than persuasion. . . Secondly, there is a certain masochistic streak in many women: they occasionally desire to be overpowered and treated a little roughly. It is, after all, very ego-satisfying for a female to feel she is so sexually attractive that the male cannot maintain social restraints and reverts to "caveman" tactics. These factors are partly responsible for the public and judicial skepticism with which complaints about rape are frequently received. In Toni's case, these factors are largely applicable. Unfortunately, for many victims of rape and group rape, they are not applicable, and women who are truly victimized by sexual aggressors meet with less sympathy and credibility than is proper and just.
One interesting aspect of Toni's case is the stated motive on the part of her abductors that she deserves to be punished for her profession. That is fairly common as a stated motivating factor among sexual aggressors, although it is used more frequently to justify the victimization of prostitutes. However, it generally conceals a deeper motive of hostility toward women, or even fear of women, which is more likely the case with the men who kidnapped Toni and her friends.
Interestingly enough, the very profession she is ostensibly being punished for has enabled Toni to achieve a view of sex which is broadly philosophical and which prevents the incident from becoming the sordid, ugly terrorism it normally becomes. In addition, this accepting attitude leads her to make some positive, constructive use of the experience and to learn something about human nature which she might not otherwise have known.
These positive aspects of the experience hardly compensate for the emotional violation of being forced into a strange car at gunpoint. However they do somewhat mitigate against the possible emotional damage that might have been done had Toni been a less open and accepting person.
Unfortunately, for the majority of victims of rape and group rape, this is not possible, nor is it even desirable. Toni is an exception to many general statements that can be made about females as victims of sexual aggression, and her reactions and responses cannot be taken as typical nor can they be held to be particularly desirable.
There appears, in short, to be little damage, and little need for therapeutic measures. Toni and her friends have come out of their experiences with few regrets and future repercussions do not seem to threaten.