Chapter 3
Beach Party"Growing up in the country is supposed to be very different from growing up in the city, but I don't think it's all that different. People are people, after all.
"It might be easier to make friends in the country. Maybe there's the difference. You're thrown together with other kids on the school bus, and you get involved with others through church and Sunday school, and you can't help making friends with a few people, I guess.
"With me, I guess, it had something to do with being pretty. At least, I was always told I was. On the one hand it made people notice me. On the other it kind of made some people, some boys, I mean, stand off from me when I would have liked to have got to know them better. That cleared the way for the guys who weren't so shy. And that led to my getting to know about sex a lot earlier in life than I should have.
"For one thing, it made me stand for a lot that I shouldn't have permitted. Some people got away with murder, but I let them because, pretty as I seemed to be, I was lonely. Another thing I'd had to learn was how to be self-sufficient, spending as much time alone as I did. And when I did finally get together with boys, I did as much as I pleased. Nobody cared, you see. Nobody noticed. Mind you, I may have been kind of dumb about it. I mean, to me it all seemed kind of tame, but I'm sure it wouldn't have sounded that way if I'd tried to tell people about it.
"I got started off by the two kids next door. Lynn was a year older than I was and her brother Tommy was a year older than she was. She was the real influence. You couldn't help noticing her. She was a cute little blonde with long straight hair and big blue eyes. She had a smarty-pants bitchy sort of smile that stuck in your memory, like she knew something nobody else knew, and it made everybody - teachers, boys, other girls like me - pay attention to her. And believe me, she didn't mind that any.
"Tommy? He was nice enough, so far as I knew, but was real quiet, and he seemed to be kind of passive around his sister. I mean, she bossed him around a lot and he didn't seem to mind. In fact, I think he enjoyed it.
"They lived next door, though - on the next farm is what I mean, and that's a lot more distance than 'next door' would mean in to a city kid - for quite awhile before I met them. I had plenty of time to myself before that, and I made the most of it in my solitary way.
"My father worked long, hard hours, and always came home tired; but he always had time for me. Too much to please my mother, once I'd started sprouting a bit. He'd grab me, whenever he got the chance, and hug me and squeeze me and say funny little things to me about how pretty I was getting to be, and my mother would give him a funny look and say, 'She's growing up Frank,' and raise one eyebrow. It took him awhile to get the message; then he stopped being so affectionate. I didn't notice anything but the loss of affection. I was a little dumb about that, too, I guess.
"I wasn't dumb, though, about that little button between my legs, and I was already doing a lot of fooling around with it. Some girls I later learned, don't make much juice down there. I sure did. I'd go ape when I came, and I'd make buckets of juice. I learned not to do it in the bedroom unless I had a thick towel under me and plenty of time and privacy. For that the best place was the shower. I'd really let go there.
"This was in rural Pennsylvania, now. Work was long and hard, and sometimes the bills would get out of hand and my mother would get a job in town for a while. That - combined with the fact that my father would often take his lunchbox and eat in the fields to keep from losing any valuable work time - left me alone a lot.
"And I didn't have that much to do: clean up a bit, dust some, and that was it. I'd get up early and get everyone off to work, summers, and then the day would be mine. I'd look forward to it, and I'd already be thinking sexy thoughts by the time they were going out the door.
"Then I'd take off all my clothes and go into the shower and start playing with my little clam. I'd pretend that my hand was the hand of a nice looking rich guy who was crazy about me and wanted to marry me and make me happy, like that. Then I'd rub my clit like crazy and push my finger inside and finger myself like mad until I would start in with the big, convulsive orgasms, and I'd be wet and dripping by the time I got the fires out. Then I'd get myself cleaned up in the crotch and do some work and I'd start thinking about boys. And some of them in school were real cute, and thinking about that would turn me on all over again. And I'd do more.
"So, maybe you'd say I was ripe when I started fooling around with Lynn and Tommy. We would talk and kid around on the school bus because we were the last ones on the bus. The driver would let us out, the other kids first, then me, and that was the end of the run for the driver.
"Lynn invited me to come over and visit with them whenever I could. She said that we could have lots of fun. They had horses that were work horses, but they were fine for riding, too.
"Tommy is crazy about you, Sheila,' Lynn said, her big blue eyes teasing me. 'He thinks you are so pretty. He's always telling me about it. '
"Tommy was right beside her when she said that; we were walking the short road we had to hike after the bus let us out, and I looked at Tommy and his face got red.
"I like Tommy too,' I said. That made it all right, I thought. Lynn looked at me with a funny, sort of schemy look, and she grinned at me.
"That's just great,' she said. 'We'll have to do something about that. '
"I went home after that and got to thinking about Tommy and how nice he was, how good looking, and that got me turned on and I went into the bathroom and started putting my fires out.
"Lynn asked me to come over on Saturday if I could get away. She wanted to have a picnic. We would take horses and ride out into the woods to a special place they had, a cave, really, beside a brook and we would have our picnic and have some fun. That was fine with me.
"My parents were glad that I had some nice friends and they were happy for me to go on the picnic. So, on Saturday morning I got into an old pair of jeans and a blouse and I was ready. I didn't wear a bra, and my boobs stuck out like they were bullets, ready to shoot somebody down. I was proud of my boobs and I had real pretties on my chest. Maybe I had it in mind to turn Tommy on a little, I don't know; but it sure worked out that way.
"The horses were saddled and ready for us by the time I got to Lynn's place. I had my lunch box and they had theirs and we got up onto the horses and started out. Kids in the country ride horses like they grew on them, so we just took it nice and easy. Lynn wore a loose skirt and boots and I watched her the way she was sitting in the saddle and Tommy noticed that I was watching her. He rode beside me and he grinned as we both watched Lynn riding ahead of us a little.
"She's rubbing her clit that way and she gets a lot of fun out of it. Don't you do the same thing?' He smiled at me.
"I know I got red in the face and I didn't answer him. He was looking at me with that funny little grin on his face and I wished that he would stop looking at me and go on about his business. He didn't, but after awhile the woods got thick and we had to ride single file, so I didn't have to face his grin.
"We rode for a long time but we finally came out of the woods, and there was a clearing, with all kinds of shade trees and a brook, and beyond the brook there was a big hill and a cave had been dug out beneath it.
"We tethered the horses in a nice shady spot and they were close to the brook so they could drink whenever they wanted to and after that was attended to I helped Lynn unwrap the pack-roll she had brought. She had everything in her saddlebags, a portable radio and cigarettes and a hairbrush, and junk like that. She even brought a box of tissues. Tommy helped us and we sat down in the shade and Lynn got out the cigarettes and offered one to me. Tommy helped himself. We rested and smoked and Lynn kept looking at me in that funny way I mentioned before and I noticed that Tommy was staring at my chest and I suddenly wished that I hadn't been so damned smart. I wished that I had worn a bra.
"Lynn finished her cigarette after awhile and tossed the butt into a little branch of the brook. She looked at me and she got up onto her knees. Tommy was watching us and I was not at all prepared for what she did.
"You should have worn a bra, Sheila,' she said.
"She put her hands on the bottom of my shirt and she lifted it right up and then she and Tommy were staring at my bare breasts and I was so shocked, I just didn't do anything. Then I pushed my shirt down again and she laughed at me.
"You have beautiful tits, Sheila,' she said. 'Tommy and I are going to have lots of fun with them today. You do want Tommy to play with your tits, don't you?'
"I guess I just stared at her with a dumb look on my face and she seemed to think that it was very funny. She put her hands on my breasts and I liked her touch and I hated it. She was looking right into my eyes, sort of daring me to object. I was sitting up with my back against the tree's trunk and the way she was in front of me there was no place for me to go. She lifted my shirt up again and her hands cupped my breasts, and I wanted to stop her; but I was just staring at Tommy with a dumb look on my face and when she bent so that she could kiss each of my nipples. I shivered and I started getting wet downstairs. She seemed to know that I was turning on, and turned so that she could look at Tommy.
"He came over to kneel down in front of me, too, and he was shaking a little.
"Go ahead,' Lynn told him. 'You have been dying to play with her tits. I told you all you had to do was ask. '
"Tommy was grinning at me, and he was very nervous; but he put his hands on my breasts and began caressing them and really having a good time for himself. Lynn watched him for a moment and she was smiling; I could see that she really liked Tommy in spite of the fact that he was her brother. I watched her begin to open his pants, and he just let her do whatever she wanted to do. She unbuckled his belt, and then she was inside, and his big stiff dick was standing straight up and she was handling it just like she knew what she was doing.
"I could see that he had been circumcised, and he was dribbling, and when she wrapped her fist around him and began moving her hand up and down, I creamed my jeans right then and there. Lynn grinned at me as she saw it happen. She didn't have to guess. All she had to do was watch me shiver and shake as my head went haywire. He was still handling my boobs, and I heard Lynn telling him that he could suck my tits for awhile and she would help him. She bent down and took his organ into her mouth and started sliding him in and out, with her cheeks all sucked in and her hands cupping his balls. I noticed then that she had long sharp fingernails and they were clawing at his rod. I could tell he didn't mind.
"I felt his wet mouth on my breasts; then he was sucking one of my nipples and I was freaked out. I kept watching Lynn and then Tommy was shaking violently and he was biting my nipple and I liked it. Then I saw that he was coming, and Lynn was swallowing his juice like she was starving for it. One of her hands was clutching his rod with her fingertips and she was milking him, making sure she got it all. She slid him out of her mouth after awhile and she smiled at me with a happy, dreamy look.
"She took my hand and put it on Tommy's big dick and I liked holding it. I began moving my hand up and down on it automatically, and he was whimpering and groaning and kissing and licking my tits, and it was getting more and more exciting by the minute.
"Let's go inside the cave,' Lynn said. 'Then we can really have some fun. '
"Tommy stopped licking and sucking my titties and she took my hand off of him and I hated to have him let go. She just laughed and told me that I would get lots of cock once we got inside the cave. Just wait, she said.
"We got our stuff together and picked up the blanket and extras, and we carried it all into the cave. There was a big open area in there and while the opening was screened off, it was as bright inside the cave as outside.
"Tommy was grinning like a happy idiot as we spread the blanket and put our stuff down on it. Lynn got the radio going and the music was nice. She smiled at me as we put our butts down onto the blanket. Tommy was staring at me and I was staring at him.
"Take your things off, Tommy,' Lynn said. It was a direct command, and he obeyed her. She gave me a cigarette and we both lit up. She kept on looking at me and I was looking at Tommy as he took his clothes off. He was just wearing a pullover shirt and jeans and sandals. No underwear, no socks. He took his pants off and we both looked at his big stiff cock standing up tight against his belly. His balls were hanging down and Lynn got onto her knees and she cupped his balls in the palm of her right hand and she told him to sit down so that we could handle his stuff as much as we wanted to. She turned to smile at me.
"I'll bet you never had the chance to play with a lovely cock before did you?' she asked.
"I was just too turned on to answer her. I shook my head and she giggled.
"Tommy wants to play with you,' she said. 'Did you ever have a boy eat you?'
"I shook my head again. I was shivering, just thinking about the things that she was saying. The idea of Tommy licking me between my legs was just too much, and I popped again. It seemed to me that the pops just kept coming, one right after the other.
"Sheila, honey,' Lynn said, 'do you want to have some fun?'
"I nodded my head. There wasn't anything else for me to do. I was seething and coming, and I knew I was sopping between my legs, and I wondered if I could get a chance to clean myself up before Tommy put his mouth down there.
"Lynn began helping me to slide out of my jeans and it shocked me when she started playing with my clit. She seemed surprised to discover how wet I was.
"Sheila darling,' she said, 'you are a mess down there, let me clean you up dear. '
"Somehow I was on my back on the blanket and Tommy was pushing his cock into my mouth and Lynn was beginning to lick my thighs and crotch. Then she slipped her tongue into my bunghole and that made me come, and when I was really putting out and going out of my skull with a wild orgasm, she suddenly slid her tongue up and teased my clit and then I started a convulsion that was wilder and nicer than anything I had ever known. She was feasting on my juices, and I could feel her hungry mouth sucking savagely at my flesh and it was real crazy. Tommy was sliding his cock in and out and then pushed it halfway down my throat and he was erupting, pouring his honey into my throat, and I just feasted upon him while Lynn made me come again and again. It just got to be too much, and my head went into limbo or something and I guess I flaked out.
"After a while I got my brains back and I sat up and Tommy and Lynn were sitting on the blanket, smoking cigarettes and having hot coffee from the thermos that Lynn had brought. She smiled at me when she saw that I was back among the living. She poured some coffee for me and handed the cup to me. I took it and sipped it. She was smiling and I could see that she liked me, and that was very important to me. I wanted them both to like me.
"You had yourself a hell of a time honey,' Lynn said. 'I guess we don't have to ask you anything do we?'
"My face was scarlet but she just laughed at me.
"Tommy and I started fooling around a long time ago,' she said. 'Lots of kids are doing it. I found that I like sex, no matter what. Anything. '
"She even likes to jerk off Rex,' Tommy said, smiling.
"That's right,' Lynn said, 'like I said, anything. But, Tommy likes everything too. Shall we really have some fun?'
"I was ready and she laughed at me. She still had her clothes on and Tommy and I were naked. She had her purse on the blanket beside her and she took out a small flat box and opened it. There were a lot of rubbers in the box. She took one out and put it on the tip of Tommy's cock. She rolled it down and I watched it all fascinated.
"Ol' John, the field hand, got the rubbers for her,' Tommy said. 'She used to let him take her into the barn and fuck her and she'd let me watch it all from the haymow. '
"It was the only way I could get these little babies. Lie down, Sheila, and let Tommy fuck you while I get undressed. Then he can do me. '
"Tommy was sure eager to have me, and I was eager for it too. He knelt and pushed me down onto my back. I was panting and squirming and bouncing around on the blanket. I don't know how he ever got it into me, but he did. He was my first, and I was so afraid that it would hurt; but he put the head of it against my hole and he began to ease himself into me. I had long ago busted my cherry with carrots and the handle of my favorite hairbrush, though, and when I felt him beginning to get inside me, I moved my hips and damn near swallowed him, balls and all. And then we really went ape. I started bucking and writhing and screeching and my legs were wrapped around his middle, and it was really heavy for a while.
"Lynn was just as gooney about sex as I was, apparently. I knew that I was very wet down there. We were screwing like a couple of excited minks. But Sheila had her mouth down under Tommy's balls and her tongue was licking my asshole and the area between that and Tommy's dick, and she was licking my cunny too. Her hands and nails were all over. . . and then I was coming again, heaving about like a frightened steer, and then Tommy was coming, too, and we went out of our skulls with bliss. At least, I know I did.
"Tommy clung to me and I clung to him, and after a while Lynn stopped licking me down there; I realized that Tommy had gotten out of me and she had him and the rubber and all in her mouth and she was really half out of her skull with erotic excitement. She was very straightforward about sex and she enjoyed it all, and when she finally let go of Tommy's dick I could see that she had torn the rubber to shreds.
"We took a rest and Lynn got up onto her feet so that she could get out of her clothes. She had a gorgeous body and she knew it. Her boobs were much larger than mine and when I admired them she laughed and said that she was always nursing on Tommy and that made her boobs grow. She was convinced that the male product was very good for young girls, and I wasn't about to argue with her. I knew that I liked nursing on Tommy, too.
"I had never seen another girl's privates before, so when Lynn sat down and opened her legs and started playing with Tommy, I looked at her to my heart's content. She was made little between her legs: tiny little pink lips and a puckered little rosebud between them. Her clit looked like a little round nipple from a girl's tit, only it was swollen and red, and she would rub it a little every once in a while. Then, when she told Tommy to eat her for a while, he spent a lot of time rubbing her clit with his tongue. She liked that kind of fooling around, believe me. And I did, too. Tommy was really good when it came to eating a girl, and he took turns delighting both of us.
"We kept trying one thing after another on that day and we spent the whole day inside the cave, fooling around. Tommy got on top of Lynn and he screwed the ears off of her and then he did it to me, too. Lynn was always eating me or eating Tommy and she asked me if I would sixty-nine, but I just couldn't go that. She didn't mind too much because Tommy loved having sixty-nines with her.
"I liked it, too, when he would let me sit on his face and he would slide his tongue way up in me. I have to admit that we had a grand time that day, and when we finally went home you might say we were pretty well acquainted with each other. We were exhausted, too; Tommy and Lynn believed in getting in all the sex you could.
"We kept it up later. I was kind of getting jealous of Lynn for a while because she and Tommy were so close. But she finally found a guy in school who knew how to turn her on, and she let him. Lots. That left Tommy and me to ourselves, and we were always at each other.
"All that ended after about a year, though, because my folks got tired of fighting the soil and wanted a new start. My mother wanted to move to California, and that's what we did.
"I'll never forget my last day in the woods with Tommy. I mean we did everything. Everything we could think of, anyhow. And maybe all the experience I'd had that year made it easier for me to live through what happened later, on the Coast. . .
"After a lot of haggling, though, my folks finally sold the farm, and the haggling must have done some good because we got a good price, more money than we'd ever had at one time in our lives.
"Moving was a wrench, and it was only fun for a week or so living out of a suitcase. It took us a while to settle, but when we did we sort of knew it was a change for the better. My father found work up near Ventura, and that allowed us to settle near the beaches and soak up some of that nice sun. We found a place between Oxnard and Malibu, not too long a drive from where my father worked.
"So, wow! I became a real beach bunny that first summer, with all that time on my hands. I'd spend days and days soaking up the sun and swimming, and I got a real nice tan from it and if I do say so myself I really got my body in nice shape.
"Spending so much time on the beach, I was bound to meet new people, and I did. There were these guys who used to surf in our section of the beach where the waves were good, and I got to know them somewhat, little by little. There were three of them at first; then a few others joined them now and then. They'd hang out around my beach blanket, kidding me about what a nice bod I had. They wouldn't believe I was only fifteen, and I kind of forgot it myself.
"There was this guy Ernie, a mean-faced sort who always wore boxer trunks to the beach. This one morning he showed up in a launch. That's how it all started. He anchored it offshore and I swam in. I was on my blanket talking with some of the others when he showed up.
"Johnny, a short guy with glasses (he had a big bulge in his crotch, incidentally, that I thought had to be padding-how wrong I was!), asked Ernie about the boat. Ernie said he'd borrowed it for the day, and how would we all like to take a boat ride?
"I said sure. They all sort of laughed at my eagerness, but the upshot was that we all swam out to the boat. It was a lot of fun for a while; I took the wheel a couple of times, and it was exciting but scary. There were five guys in the boat and I was the only girl. And I was stupid enough to like those odds.
"We all took the boat way the hell up the coast until we finally stopped in a cove. Ernie said that a friend of his owned the house on the beach and we could go in and visit and he'd see if we could promote some breakfast. That sounded all right, so we all dove off the boat and began swimming.
"There was no one in the house, we learned when we got there. It was a nice place, well furnished and we settled in the kitchen and Ernie made us a pot of coffee. Then Ernie told the guys to sit down at the table and he would get the deck of cards. I wondered why they would want to play cards so early in the morning. They weren't going to play cards. They were cutting the cards.
"For me. Only I didn't know it at the time.
"They each took a card and put it facedown on the table, then they turned them over. Kenny, a skinny guy with a funny looking twist to his face all the time had an ace. Ernie, the guy with the boat, had a jack. He grinned when he saw that. Johnny, the little guy with the glasses and the big crotch bunch, had a ten. Sam, a skinny little creep who was very quiet and awfully intense about everything, had a nine, and Ronnie, a big guy with muscles bulging out everywhere, had a six. They were all laughing and joking and then Ernie said, 'Let's get started,' and he stood up.
"I was sitting at the table watching it all, and when Ernie put his hand on my wrist I stared at him like he was out of his skull. Like who the hell did he think he was handling?
"He pulled me up onto my feet and Kenny was standing up, too, his twisty face wearing a grin that was lopsided and sort of mean. Ernie was holding my wrist like it was in a vise, and he was hurting me.
"Come on, baby,' he said. 'You got some work to do in the bedroom. Kenny has the hots for you. He's going to fuck you, and then the other guys are, too. You know, that's what it was all about the cards. You get me after Kenny. Now come along and don't give us any trouble. '
"It took a minute for me to realize that Ernie meant what he said. I was standing there in a swimsuit that hid nothing, and when Ronnie reached out and tore my halter off, my tits jumped out like they were eager to be used. Ronnie's big hands tore my bikini pants off and I was standing there, stark naked, and they were all looking at me and I knew that I was going to die.
"Ernie pulled me along with him and I tried to hold back. I lost my head and began to scream and somebody hit me in the face and somebody else yelled out that they should hit me in the belly if they wanted to hurt me; it wouldn't show there.
"They picked me up and carried me into the bedroom and there was a four-poster bed and one guy tied one ankle to a post, another guy tied another ankle to a post and as soon as that was done, the creep Kenny, put his face between my legs and began licking me, and I started writhing and sobbing and moaning. Then they tied my wrists to the other posts, and I lay there spread-eagled on the bed, at their mercy like a trussed-up duck.
"Somebody said something to Kenny and he took his mouth off of my clit and he just laughed. He shucked his pants off and I could see he was built big where it counted. I was sopping wet down below already, and that was a good thing. Kenny climbed onto the bed and he shoved his cock into me and I was weeping and sobbing and yelling and he was shoving himself into me like a machine. He started to gasp; then he was shaking and whinnying like a horse, and then he started coming, and it felt like he was never going to stop spurting in me. He was slowing down and he finally pulled his cock out and I was supposed to be in agony, maybe-but I wasn't. Not at all.
"Ernie stood beside the bed and he had his boxer shorts off and his cock was stiff and ready. He was looking at my cute little biscuit and he was not happy.
"Damn you, Kenny,' he complained, 'you made a hell of a mess. I ain't going to put my cock into your mess. I don't like slop. '
"Johnny said, 'Don't Terry have anything we can rinse her twat out with?'
"I didn't know who the hell Terry was, but I could understand the problem. Ernie went off to the bathroom next to the room I was in and he came back with a vaginal syringe, the bulb kind. He got a washbasin and they lifted my hips up so that it was under me, then they put the nozzle of the syringe into me and washed me out. Then Ernie got on and screwed me, too. It was decided that each man would clean up his own mess. One by one they took their turn at me. Johnny was third, and when he took his trunks off, I could see he was not at all padded. He was a little guy, but he was built like a bull, and I was sure that he was going to tear me all to hell with his enormous rod. But he didn't. It was fine with him.
"Sam, the weirdo with the intense, brooding look in his eyes, climbed on top of me and I knew right away that he was the one to watch. He was crazy. He got his cock into me and he started moving back and forth and he was having a good time. The others went out into the kitchen to have some coffee and they had already had their turn, except for Ronnie, the mastodon. They didn't enjoy watching it all that much, I guess. Anyway, Sam started fucking like crazy and he was slobbering all over my boobs and he got the nipple into his mouth and he bit down and I let out a scream that could have been heard in Brooklyn, N. Y. That was what he was after, and as soon as I yelled in pain, he started coming, and he really poured the juice into me.
"When I screamed, the guys in the kitchen laughed. I heard somebody saying that Sam was having him a time. When Sam finally finished up, he got the basin and the syringe and he rinsed me out. His leer as he went off with the basin made me glad that the other guys were there.
"I was scared, and I was sure that they were going to have fun with me until they got tired of it, then kill me, and my folks would never know what had happened to me.
"Ronnie came into the bedroom to take his turn, and I worried about him too. He was a big man, tall, heavy, bulging with muscles, but he had a little boy's cock between his legs. It was hard and about as big as my finger. He climbed on top of me and started screwing me, but it was a big nothing and he couldn't get it off. He finally pulled it out of me and climbed up so that he was astride my boobs and he shoved into my mouth.
"Suck,' he said.
"I didn't argue. I did what he told me to do, and that did it for him. He popped, and he damn dear drowned me. He wasn't very big in the cock department, but once he started coming he really poured. . . and I had to cope with it somehow.
"He finally got off of me and I laid on the bed, crying and wishing that I was already dead. Ronnie went back into the kitchen.
"What do we do about seconds?' Sam asked. I could tell his squeaky voice easily.
"Ernie answered him. 'You ready for seconds, help yourself. That's what she's here for. '
"Ronnie stuck his head back in the room then. 'You want to take it a little easy man. You don't want to hurt her. '
"Sam gave him a disgusted snort; then he said something that scared me, and that brought Ronnie back into the room in a hurry. 'What's the dif? Were gonna croak her when were done anyway, so what's the difference?'
"Ronnie shook his head like he would love to belt Sam.
"She ain't going to die; what the hell is the matter with you? She ain't gonna holler cops. We got five guys that will say she offered. Go ahead and enjoy, but get rid of them crazy ideas. '
"I felt a thousand times better after that. I was so sure that they would dump me into the sea when they were tired of me. After all, they had kidnapped me, and they had raped me forcibly, and it was the kind of a situation that usually wound up with the girl getting killed. I was hoping that there would be a way out of this. There had to be.
"Sam was kind of gentle, for him, and he didn't last any time at all. I was glad of that. But I was having problems. I had to piss, and I knew that I couldn't take any more of them on without making things messy.
"When Sam was rinsing me out, I told him that I had to go to the bathroom. That was the wrong thing to say to him. He just smiled and said that I could just let it go, he would hold the basin and empty it for me. That was the best offer I could get and he put his face down there so he could look right into the hole as I emptied my bladder. He carried it off to the bathroom, and then I was alone again.
"And then somebody else arrived at the house and I heard female voices and I wondered what was going on. I found out in a hurry. Two very pretty young girls, not much older than I, came into the bedroom. They stood and stared at me, wide-eyed. They were very pretty girls, but their eyes were cold and cruel, and when they stood and smiled at me I felt like I was going to die for sure.
"One of them was a blonde, with very light, curly hair, cut short, and a very good figure. She was wearing shorts and a pullover shirt and her boobs were practically visible. No bra, just nice big tits and sleek young legs and a cute round behind. Her eyes were blue and they were like ice. Her name was Terry, but I found that out later.
"The other girl was a little taller. Her name was Cathy, and she was a brunette with small boobs and nice legs and a bright, twinkling smile. She looked at me and her eyes went right to my slit and I was sure that she was just dying to get at it. The other one too. Ernie wandered into the bedroom and he put his arm around the blonde's shoulder and I got the idea that she was his girl. The other went with Johnny, and I found that out later, too.
"You guys have got to be crazy,' Terry said, finally. 'I will admit that she is a gorgeous little item but she can get us all arrested and put away forever. This is forcible rape, and lots of other things. You have got us into a real mess. '
"Cathy, the brunette, was still looking at my crotch and she touched my breasts and I could tell that she was strongly lez. Maybe she would go both ways, but her best times would be with another girl. I sensed that, somehow.
"The guys came in from the kitchen, and the bedroom got to be awful crowded. One of the guys put his hand on my clit and he rubbed it a little.
"We just wanted to have some fun,' Ernie said, 'We been seeing her on the beach all the time and she was practically asking for a gang bang, so we decided we would obliged her. '
"Cathy smiled at him. 'We might as well have some fun and worry about it later. Why don't one of you big jocks fill up that cute little hole for one of us?'
"Those two girls peeled out of the clothes they were wearing and they got onto the bed with me. They had real pretty bodies, and when Cathy sat on my face she gave me the choice of eating her or smothering. I began to eat her, and she squirmed around, and while I was doing what she wanted me to do one of the guys was sliding his dick into me and I was thrashing around like an animal, and they all thought it was real cute the way I could turn on.
"I guess that I spent an hour with Cathy's crotch in my face and then the guys lined up on me, and they didn't need the syringe or the basin anymore. Cathy finally got off my face, and Terry took a crack on it. She bent over and I found out that someone had screwed her and I had to cope with that, too, but it all went all right. Cathy and Terry wound up on the floor, and one of the guys screwed each of them. Then they started a sixty-nine that was pure bliss for them.
"After a long while, Ronnie suggested that they untie me. I wasn't going to go anywhere and they could use me as they saw fit and I would do as I was told to do or else. Ronnie came over so that he could look down into my face.
"You promise to be a good girl if we untie you?' he asked. I nodded my head. My mouth was dry, my throat was dry, and I was sure that I could not have spoken if my life depended on it, but nobody cared. Cathy and Terry were free and standing up for the first time being and they untied me and helped me to get up onto my feet. They took me into the bathroom and they waited while I took a shower and got some circulation back into my arms and legs.
"Honey,' Terry said, 'we are going to have lots of fun with you today. We may have to hurt you a little, but that's only if you try to make trouble. These guys will kill you and think nothing of it, if they have to do it. But let's not give them any reason for that kind of trouble, okay?'
"We can take some pictures before we turn her loose,' Cathy said, smiling. 'I don't think she is going to want to tell anybody about any of this. '"
"I promised I would never mention anything to anybody about my ordeal in the bedroom or the fact that I had been kidnapped and gang raped and they believed me. Cathy sat down on the toilet and smiled at me. She said that we were going to have some lunch and then she and Terry would teach me how to really make love to a girl. I started to tell them that I wouldn't do that, but Terry put her hands on my breasts and backed me up against the wall. Her bright red nails dug sharply into my breasts and I nearly fainted from the pain. She laughed at me when she saw what the pain did to me.
"Cathy finished peeing and she tore off a piece of tissue and wiped herself down there. She was watching me and Terry and she was amused by my reaction to Terry's fingernails in my soft flesh.
"You just be a good obedient kid,' Cathy said, 'and you can come out of this alive. But keep in mind. There is no real need for these guys to keep you alive. You do whatever you are told to do, and we will see to it that you go free. '
"Oh I will,' I said, nervously. They knew that I was scared to death and they laughed at me.
"We went back into the bedroom and the guys were eager for new activity. They were going to take turns again and I was going to have to blow each one of them. I know it's an awful thing to say, but I began to enjoy the whole business. Once I knew that I was not going to be killed, I was able to enjoy doing the things that they made me do, and the quality of cruelty and brutality that they showed me, made it even more enjoyable.
"When everybody was sated for the time being, the girls made me help them in the kitchen fixing some lunch and I began to find out a bit about the gang. Terry and Cathy lived in the bungalow we were in, but they were moving soon. They were going to school up north and the guys would be going that way, too.
It may sound funny, but I was as hungry as anybody else, and I ate, knowing that I was going to have a very busy time of it once we were finished eating.
"I was sure right about that. The girls were just as bad as any of the guys and I remember Cathy saying, 'I just can't wait to watch what she does when Johnny rams that big dick of his into her rear end. Man, she'll claw the walls out. She has a very strenuous afternoon ahead of her. '
"Ernie laughed. 'We won't get another chance like this for a while, maybe. We'd better enjoy it while we got this cute little thing here. '
"The afternoon and most of the evening is a blur, but there are parts of it that stick out in my memory. I know that some of the sensations were fun, but most of it was pain and hurt and humiliating things that they made me do. That seemed to be a big part of it for them. I mean, I think that's why they would abduct a girl and rape her and hurt her, and I am lucky that I didn't have to die to furnish them with the ultimate thrill. I'm sure that I would be dead if the girls hadn't shown up.
"They were just as bad as the guys when it came to sex and what they liked to watch, but they wouldn't stand for murder. Rape and kidnapping and forced sexual humiliations, all of that they thought was good clean fun - but murder, no.
"And I'm glad they felt that way.
"They made me get back up onto the bed again and there were things I had to do. The girls wanted to see me totally occupied, they said. You know what that turned out to be? That turned out to be a dick in every opening.
"First I had to straddle Johnny while he rammed his big prong up inside me. Then I laid down on his belly and that put my bunghole up into the air and Kenny started easing his dick into that. He hurt me, but he just went ahead and did it. Then while those two guys were moving inside my body, they made me go down on Ernie's big dick. That, they said, was being totally occupied, and they were sure right about that.
"They went for the same kind of a deal later on, and I found out that such a trip could be lots of fun. There wasn't anything that we didn't get around to trying, and when the guys were exhausted and incapable of doing anything for awhile, I had to make love to Cathy first, and then Terry, and that took a long time. And by the time they would let me rest, the guys had their steam up and it was just more of the same all over again.
"They kept up with the orgy until darkness came, and still it went on, because just when I was sure that no one could summon any more strength, one of the guys would show up with an erection and something would have to be done about that.
"I was dazed, I know, just worn out and thinned out, practically dehydrated, I guess, and when they finally called a halt, I was so relieved I was nearly sick.
"The girls became interested in what they were going to do about me. Sam offered to take me out to sea in the boat and slip me in the ocean. No one would buy that.
"Ronnie said, 'Fix up her bathing suit and give it back to her. I'll take her on the boat and put her into the sea close to where she lives. Then I'll be back. You guys get ready to pack everything up and get out of here. She won't say anything to anybody about any of this. She knows that she would have real trouble on her hands if she were to holler cops. '
"They bought that. But Ronnie wasn't all that sweet about things. When we swam out to the boat and got underway, he made me blow him all the while we were at sea. He told me that some of the guys would really kill me if I tried to do anything about the horrid experiences I had, had, and I believed him.
"I promised him that I wouldn't blow the whistle on anybody. I just wanted to get home and get into my own bed and sleep forever. I had aches and pains in places I hadn't even known I had, and I just wanted to rest forever.
"When the boat got offshore from my part of the coast, Ronnie gave me a big smile and then he just pushed me over the side.
"Go home and keep your mouth shut,' he said.
"I took his advice. I swam in to shore and I was dead by the time I got there. I laid down on the beach and fell asleep. When I woke up I went home, and no one asked me anything. And I never told anyone. Until now. . . "There are some elements in the subject's background which indicates that the gang rape situation in which she was victimized may have serious negative consequences for her. She has begun to experiment with sex quite early in life, in a particularly uninhibited fashion. She is an only child, and feels a certain amount of isolation unless she has a great many friends. She apparently does not receive much love and emotional support from her parents. At the time of the rape she has moved with her family to a new area in which she has not yet made any friends and contacts. All these factors make her particularly vulnerable to the possibility of neurotic sexual patterns later in her life.
This combination of factors is described and discussed by Gladys Denny Shultz in How Many More Victims?:Dr. Halleck believes that with girls, as with boys, the amount and permanence of damage done depends upon the child's previous personality development and the family situation at the time of the sexual violation was experienced. In working with large populations of promiscuous, adolescent girls, it is possible to trace back histories of sexual seduction during latency or puberty. Most of these girls come from seriously disturbed homes. . . a surprisingly large number have had pre-pubertal sexual experiences. If the sexual event takes place at a time in the child's life when she is deprived, isolated or upset, it may take on a particular significance. Promiscuity may then appear as a neurotic compulsion. One of the indications that promiscuity may appear, at least partially as a result of this experience, is the fact that the subject has not talked about it with anyone in her family, thereby denying herself the opportunity to ventilate some of her feelings about it and, hopefully, come to terms with the experience. There are several aspects of her own behavior which indicate that she may be suffering from a great deal of negative feeling internally, and not allowing herself the relief of relieving these feelings. One of these aspects is the fact that she is at least partly responsible herself for the event having occurred.
She admits that her presence on the beach is an attempt to attract male attention in the first place, and one of her assailants accuses her of "asking for it," which may not be far from the truth. She is in need of attention and emotional gratification, and in her lack of experience has chosen to attract male attention in the hopes of fulfilling these essential needs.
This she shares with other victims of rape in her age range, who are described by Paul H. Gebhard, et al, in Sex Offenders: An Analysis of Types:In some ways the twelve - to fifteen-year old girl is peculiarly liable to force or threat. She is old enough to be physically attractive and yet not old enough to have learned to avoid or escape potentially dangerous situations. Whereas an older woman has learned to regard all men with some suspicion and to recognize quickly when a situation is developing sexual overtones, the twelve - to fifteen-year-old is usually naïve. In her conscious or unconscious mimicry of the behaviorisms of adult females, the young girl often is more sexually provocative than she realizes. . . the twelve- to fifteen-year-old girl frequently wishes to give the impression that she is older and more sophisticated than she actually is. . . A part of masculine folklore is the concept that a female who promises but does not fulfill her promise deserves to be forced; a curiously righteous note prevails to the effect that a "teaser" should be "taught a lesson" as punishment. It is all too possible that, in this case, the subject may be all too aware herself of her own provocative behavior and appearance, and may feel to some extent that she did, in fact, "deserve" what she got. If this feeling is unchecked, it will inevitably lead to profound guilt feelings which can give rise to various neurotic patterns.
In addition, the subject realizes that she actually enjoyed a great deal of the brutality and humiliation, a circumstance which is not too unusual. For those with a negative self-image, masochism frequently appears, reinforcing the "rightness" of whatever situations occur in which the masochist is somehow "punished. " This additional factor can add considerably to the subject's burden of guilt.
Still another negative consequence of this experience, for the subject, is the potential fear she may feel with regard to establishing new relationships with people. She states that she needs many friends in order to feel good; however, she may find more difficulty than before in taking the risks necessary to establish friendship in a new place, due to the way this particular incident concluded.
One thing which might help the subject overcome many of these feelings and consequences would be the process of openly examining her feelings, talking them out, and coming to a new understanding of herself which takes place in a therapeutic situation. However, she has not even revealed the incident to anyone who might be able to guide her toward that therapy which is definitely indicated. Thus, it does not appear that she will be able to master these events and overcome the trauma.
The various factors which contribute to her own feelings of guilt, inadequacy and shame undoubtedly make it all the more likely that she will keep the incident concealed within her emotional makeup, where it can eventually flower into a skewed personality that can seriously hamper her ability to form relationships that will meet her emotional needs.
Although the rapists threaten the subject with violence if she does not cooperate, it does not appear that her life was truly in serious danger. The group of people who kidnapped her seems to have incorporated at least some members with a sense of responsibility as to how far they can go, for their own protection. However, although she did not lose, and probably would not under any circumstances have lost, her life, she has suffered an experience which will have a profound effect on her subsequent personality development.
The subject is badly in the need of psychiatric help to enable her both to understand her own role in bringing about the rape itself and to accept and minimize the negative consequences of the experience.