Chapter 18
The next morning April dressed while Peg was still asleep. She rapped on Peg's door, waited and finally went in. Peg lay unstirring until April shook her. "Wake up. You'd be late."
Peg sat up with a start. She stared sleepily at April, then came fully awake. She threw the bedclothes aside and jumped up.
"Honey, you've saved my life."
"I heard you come to bed. It was very late."
Peg hurried toward the shower, speaking over her shoulder. "I hope we didn't disturb you."
"No, my door was closed. I barely heard you untd you came up."
Peg hurried to shower and April went down to fix breakfast. She had it ready to serve by the time Peg came rushing into the kitchen. The two women ate rapidly with occasional glances at their watches. Now and then Peg gave April a covert look but she said nothing until she was ready to leave.
"A real rush, honey. See you later."
She was off. April cleared the table, frowning slightly. Peg had said nothing about her date and judging by the appearance of the living room, had taken trouble to clean up all signs of entertainment. Had she wanted to destroy clues to her caller's identity?
She forgot Peg in the day's heavy schedule. Final exams were imminent and classes were given over to reviewing the semester's work. April had virtually her last chance to concentrate on her weaker students.
Not even Bill in her chemistry class disturbed her concentration. He did not need her and she paid him no attention until, when the final bell rang, he came to her desk.
He handed her a paper, grinning. "The last of the extra experiments, April. It worked out fine."
She glanced at it. "Wonderful, Bill."
"How am I going to do in the regular class work?"
"Teachers generally give a vague answer to that sort of question. But in your case I'll say right now that you'll lead the class-unless you fall flat on the final exam."
"Little chance."
"Overconfidence could work against you. Don't skip boning for the test."
"Never intended to."
"How are your other subjects?"
"Right along with this one, I think."
The room had emptied. Bill glanced at the door, suddenly walked to it and closed it. When he turned, April saw that all too familiar light in his eyes. She braced inwardly as he came to the desk, leaned across it.
"April, I owe a lot to you." She started to protest but he stopped her with a slight gesture. "Don't argue, I know. At the beginning of the year, I went into this more for the kicks than anything else." His eyes smoldered. "I'll be honest. I thought staying after class would give me a chance with you. I guess I wanted you from the first minute I saw you."
Her face flamed.
Bill smiled softly and touched her cheek. "It worked out that way, sure enough. But you gave me a lot more than I thought anyone could. I feel I've learned something and life's got some sort of meaning. I want to learn more. I never thought high grades could mean as much as a football record. They do."
Her eyes widened but Bill did not notice. He had walked to the window, stood looking down on the snowy campus and street. "I guess only the gang gave me any trouble-but that's about gone. We'd done too much helling around one place and another for them to believe I could crack a textbook or want to stay after school."
He returned to the desk, glanced at the door and, before April could move, took her into his arms. His lips crushed hungrily on hers. Once again she felt that instant, warm response, but she managed to break the kiss. He released her instantly.
His tone grew concerned. "April, we haven't been together much lately. I don't know exactly why. I hope it's not me or that you're tiring of me. Anyway, final exam is Friday, isn't it?"
She recovered her breath. "Yes."
"I'm going to pass it and top the class. I promise you that. Then I want us really to celebrate over the weekend. I want to take you somewhere. I want us to be together."
"Bill, I-"
He rushed on. "The whole weekend. I could tell the folks I'm staying with someone out of town. You'd have no problem getting off. Maybe we could even go to St. Louis. We could leave Friday night and be back Sunday."
"Bill, you're mad-"
"Sure. And I'm tired of these quick motel trips, April. I want us to go to where we can safely have dinner and maybe dance-where we can have all the time in the world to make love instead of rushing off in a couple of hours."
April felt jolted. She started to shake her head but Bill again bent to her and his strong hand cupped her chin. "April, damn it-I'm saying I want you. And I know how you feel about me when we're together. So, let me have the weekend."
She gently disengaged his fingers. Her distress must show plainly, she thought. He looked down at her and his face tightened.
"Okay, let's have it. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Bill."
She was convincing enough to bring back his grin. "Then it's settled. I'll pick you up somewhere on Friday night and-"
"Wait, Bill, I haven't said I'd go."
His face darkened. His eyes probed at her and he asked in a thick voice, "What does that mean?"
She made a flustered gesture. "Nothing. No more than-I don't know about the weekend."
He grunted his disbelief, then slapped his hand down on the desk with a loud smack. "If I thought you've been making a fool of me all this time-getting your kicks with a kid-I'd-"
"No, Bill!"
His suspicious anger left. "Okay then. Friday night."
"I-I'll let you know."
He studied her again, nodded and turned on his heel. At the door he swung back.
"If you're planning to drop me, think over what you've done to me. I lost a girl because of you-and I don't care. You really turn me on, April-and it's been a hell of a ride."
He swung open the door and disappeared, leaving April stricken. She dropped into her chair, feeling as though a chemical compound had exploded in her face.
She drove home as fast as the icy streets would allow. Then she broke a long-standing private rule-she went directly into the kitchen and mixed herself a drink. She carried it to the breakfast nook, sat down and gulped it quickly. She stared across the room, surprised that the whiskey did not affect her; too keyed up, probably.
She thought of Bill and wondered what to do. She had given little thought to the extent of her invasion of Bill's private world. The boy had fallen in love with her-she had become more to him than just another conquest. Once again the question faced her-did she love him? She shook her head and felt a deep shame. Face it, she told herself scathingly, you simply used him. For a double purpose-to prove your own sense of superiority and ability as a teacher. Of chemistry-certainly not morals. And to fulfill yourself as a woman-my God, she thought, had her passion actually combined a maternal feeling with simple lust?
She heard Peg come into the drive and hastily left the kitchen. Peg met her in the hall, took a single look at her face and exclaimed, "Honey-what's wrong'?"
April whipped around and strode into the living room. Peg followed her. She placed her hands on April's shoulders and gently turned her about.
"Can't you tell me?"
April's lips quivered. Her eyes brimmed. With a sudden sob, she threw herself into Peg's arms and broken sentences tumbled from her lips. Peg held her, unmoving, listening to her self-castigations.
"Oh, Peg-what will I do?"
Peg stroked her hair. "Honey, you're upset and you're giving yourself all the blame. Go upstairs and get into something comfortable. I'll make us both stiff drinks and I'll be up. We'd talk it over."
"A drink won't help."
"Not in itself. But it'll help us talk and come to some decision about ad this."
April had changed to gown and robe when Peg came in with glasses. She gave one to April.
"I'll be back. Dinner can wait and, thank God, we have no homework or engagements. Drink up."
She left. April sank to the edge of the bed and took a long pull. She nearly choked but the whiskey warmed her, slowed her racing thoughts. Shortly Peg returned, also in a comfortable negligee. She sat down on the bed beside April.
"Now, let's go over it again. Bill wants you to spend the weekend after exams with him. He's in love with you. Is that it?"
April nodded. "That's it."
"You've been with Bill before, honey-and you've been unable to break off the affair. So there must be something about him."
April answered bluntly. "Sex."
"That's all?"
"What else?" April demanded. Her lips quivered again. 'I've never even considered a permanent relationship with him. Only sex never drove me this hard before."
"Maybe you never really knew what it was like before."
April thought that over a moment. "I don't know. I'm all mixed up. I fought off Judson Gray but I let Bill-"
Her voice faded off. Peg pursed her lips, picked up the empty glasses and, without a word, left. She came back with fresh drinks.
"I've been thinking it over, honey. Judson Gray was a grown man. Bill Collins was a boy."
April accepted the drink, frowned over it at Peg. "What do you mean?"
Peg moved to the window, back again. She dropped on the bed beside April after placing her drink on the dresser. She looked steadily into April's eyes.
"You were afraid of Jud."
"I-just didn't want to give in to him at first touch."
"That's the reason your logic came up with-but I don't think it's true." Peg moistened her lips. "Mind some straight talk?"
"Of course not."
"Men have taken you to bed-I mean before now."
Puzzled, April nodded. "One man. Just once." Peg smiled sympathetically. "You didn't like it?"
"No, not particularly."
Again Peg moistened her lips. "I don't blame you. I put up with men when I have to. You disliked what Jud had in mind. Bill Collins is a kid. You turned to him. You tried him as a substitute."
April flushed. "Peg, he's young but-he's a man."
"And now you're frightened again. You want to break it up, avoid this weekend."
"That's because it's all wrong. I got tangled up because I need someone. If there had been someone else, I'd never have become involved. Or I would have broken it off long before Bill got serious about me. But, now it's all muddled and I have no one to turn to."
"Don't be too sure, honey. You're just looking in the wrong direction."
"I don't understand."
"You need to be loved and you're afraid of men-you've found even a boy like Bill isn't right for you. So don't think you have the mere choice of either Bid Collins or Judson Gray. I've been waiting-"
She put her arms around April and kissed her, a long and lingering pressure of lips on lips. Her hands moved inside April's robe, stroking over the thin material of the gown. April grew rigid and then a sudden tremor passed through her. Peg felt it and her body strained avidly to April's.
Her tongue moved lightly between April's lips and now her hands moved down to April's legs and thighs, stroking, moving. Her voice came in a broken whisper.
"I love you, honey-I've wanted you." Peg's weight pressed April back and down. She bared April's shoulders and breasts. Her lips traced fire....
April gasped and her body convulsed. Then a horror of her own response swept over her. She worked her arms as a lever against Peg and the latter drew back.
April stared at her, caught her breath. "Peg! You're-like that!"
"Honey, so are you."
"No."
Peg smiled, pulled her gown up over her own exposed magnificent breasts. "I won't argue, though I could. I'll just wait. I'm not the beast some men are. I won't force myself on you." She picked up her drink from the dresser and took a long pull. "Honey, I'll wait forever."
She sighed, gave a twisted smile and walked out.