Chapter 1
Behind with Pleasure
"Sexual experimenting was nothing new for me; I had studied the subject on my own since the age of fifteen. Some of my favorite books were those which dealt with the studies in sexual behavior, written by all the known authorities. Sex had always fascinated me, not in the way it does most people, but as a facet of man's behavior. There is so much mystery and ritual about the subject that it was a natural for my curious mind.
"I haven't done all the things I've read about. I guess that'll take a lot more dating with a great variety of men for that to happen. However, now that I'm working with highly educated people in a hospital, things are beginning to work out pretty good. By that, I mean, it seems that the more intelligent and imaginative people are more prone to experiment, whether it be with sex or anything else in life. I guess I've masturbated in every conceivable way possible. That's how I started broadening my knowledge of my own body and sex in general.
"You see, these books describe in detail how various individuals get their kicks, from the pathological to the normal. So I used these case histories as guides to discovering what my own body was capable of as far as different kinds of stimulation was concerned. I'm glad I took up nursing before I had exhausted the possibilities because some of the methods for making yourself come can be lethal. We get occasional patients who try playing with themselves by inserting a pop bottle up their vagina. It never occurs to them that the damn thing can break. You'd be surprised how many women are rushed into emergency because they stuck a bottle in their cunt and wound up practically bleeding to death. Also, the suction creates a vacuum and they can't get the stupid bottle out!
"Oh, I've used all sorts of things, like large candles that I heat over the stove and then carve with little ripples, so it gives more friction when I push it in and out of my pussy. This jazz about girls using bananas is a bunch of crap. Ever feel the tip of a banana? Can you imagine that scraping the sensitive insides of a girl's cunt? Don't you believe it.
"One of my favorite tricks was a huge rubber hot dog that I bought at a novelty shop. I'd coat it with cooking oil, lie back on my bed, and slip it in a little at a time while I played with my clitoris. The hotter I got the more I'd shove it in, until I was so hot just the fucking action of the rubber wiener was all I needed to bring me to a climax. I was always afraid of putting anything into my ass because I didn't know what I could injure up there. That is, until quite recently, but that's how my latest adventures began.
"Anyway, I was game for anything that would give me a new thrill if the books confirmed that it was okay, or pointed out the dangers. like sticking things in your urethra. If you put the wrong things in there you can wind up in the hospital. like the other day we had a sixteen-year-old girl come in because she was playing with herself, using a bobby pin. Stimulating your urethra is about the most intense thing there is-it can really send you through the ceiling! So I can't blame any girl for trying that out. But short things like bobby pins can get lost in there by slipping out of your fingers. But, man, that's really intense when you put something in there. I used to use a real thin plastic tube that was closed off on one end. I'd oil it up, or use my thick saliva, and slip it into my little hole. God, I felt like someone had just put a torch to my body. It lights up your whole insides. I could come in just a few seconds that way.
"It would leave my insides so stimulated that I craved sex the rest of the day. I would do that on a weekend so I would have all day to play with myself. After a few hours, I'd flop in bed, pinch my clitoris, and suck on one of my nipples. Boy, was that good! Then a couple hours later I'd grease up my other breast so it was real slippery. I'd sit in front of my full-length mirror with two fingers up my vagina, and play with the greased-up tit with the other hand. If you don't have any hang-ups about sex, you can find an infinite number of ways to ball with your own body.
"I still masturbate, even though I can have any doctor I want-the single ones, that is. I don't mess around with the marrieds. It's just that there's not always a man available when I'm ready for loving. I have my own apartment, so I do as I damn well please. Since I learned about anal stimulation, I sometimes use that when I play with myself.
"I don't know why I didn't discover how great my ass could be in sex until so late. I mean, I always enjoyed having my ass petted and squeezed, but it never dawned on me that I could be turned on to liking being screwed in there. To me, it was just another part of my body that got excited when I was being fucked or petted. As far as I was concerned, the fellas I made love with could play with my ass all they wanted, but to fuck it? I figured that was just for their pleasure, as sort of an exploration thing.
"Oh, sure, I had massaged my anus several times while finger-fucking. I knew it could be pretty stimulating, but that was just on the outside. Then, about six months ago, I dated this doctor who was new at the hospital. He is one hell of a lover, as he showed me on our first date.
"While at a drive-in movie, I snuggled up to him and we began kissing. As my passion rose, I began French kissing him. He responded by petting my breasts. We sat there, getting more and more excited. His hands felt so good on my tits, like he understood exactly what kind of caressing I wanted every second. First his hand brushed lightly over my rayon blouse, just barely pressing my mounds. Then he began lifting and gently pushing in on my breasts. He didn't touch my nipple for the longest time. He waited until I was so excited that I practically begged him to play with my nipples. He got me so hot, so desirous of his body, that I was climbing all over him in the car. I couldn't stand it any longer and told him to drive us to my place. If we were parked elsewhere, I would have raped him!
"As we entered my apartment he placed his arm around my waist, reached up, and began playing with my nipple. I almost pulled him to the floor, he had me so passionate. I cupped my hand over his and led him to the bedroom, where a dim red light shone from the ceiling. This is my sex pad, and I've got it equipped with red and blue lights, for whatever mood I'm in.
"I started to unbutton my blouse when I felt his hand, ever so gently, remove mine from the opening in the blouse. 'Let me,' he said, kissing me all over my neck. That sent ripples of fire all down my body, making small feathery glows between my legs. I had never met a man who could make such beautiful love even before we got into a bed.
"When he had me stripped, he lifted my small body up in his strong arms, kissed my lips, then my breasts, and lowered me slowly onto the mattress. I began clawing at his shirt, wanting to feel his beautiful hairy chest, to press that firm body against my tits. His mouth met mine again and enveloped my lower lip. As he gently sucked on my lip his hands were busily removing his shirt. He never left me unstimulated for a moment. God, what a lover!
"Even as he unzipped and removed his pants, the other hand fondled my pussy, rubbing it gently, squeezing and caressing. Now he was completely nude, sitting at my side, softly fingering my little pussy lips as the other hand petted my nipple. I was burning up with passion, wanting him to continue petting me, wanting him to fuck me, to ravage me if he liked. His warm fingers kept me in a spiral of mounting sexual excitement; tidal waves of agonizing lust were being driven through every part of me. My pussy was wet with the love juices my lover made pour from me. He was causing more wetness between my thighs than I had ever experienced; that delicious feeling, knowing that I am a woman ready to receive my lover's organ at any time he wished to enter my body.
"But he made no move to indicate that he was about to mount me, even though my insides were crying out for his meat, that wonderful large hunk of man that makes a woman feel complete. Instead, he gracefully, tenderly took my nipple into his mouth as though he were sucking the most delicate morsel of food. His tenderness thrilled me; the complete devotion to arousing my whole being to craving his every touch, to wanting him so desperately that I would be driven to plead for fulfillment! 'Oh, Ronny, please do something,' I urged. 'It's so beautiful, I can't take any more. Please do something ... fuck me Ronny, please fuck me. Oh, God, Ronny, please fuck me . . .you're so beautiful ... it's so beautiful ... please fuck me.'
"He lifted his head from my breast and whispered, 'I'm not through loving you, Dolores. There's more of you I want to taste.'
"His total love of my body, and his desire to experience more of it sent warm sensations of sex swirling through my head. I had never felt so loved, so willing to give my entire body as a gift of sacrifice and submissive slavery. I was his to do with what he pleased, and everything he was doing seemed so fantastically unreal, so intensely sexual. I was being lifted up into a world of pleasure and delight my body had never experienced.
"His hands caressed my waist, moved down to my smooth graceful hips, and stopped. With a firm movement he signaled me to turn over, his hands never leaving my full hips as he guided my body so that I lay on my breasts. He placed both hands on my lovely ass and rubbed lightly, caressing it with the sex that seemed to spark from his fingers. I moved my hips under his warm hands. My ass was getting hot under his constant massaging. My hips swayed back and forth, not knowing how to relieve the mounting beautiful sexual excitement he stirred in them.
"Then I felt his mouth breathing hot breezes into the crack. I squeezed my ass cheeks together, hoping for some relief from this latest source of pleasure. I was wild with passion. 'Oh, God, Ronny,' I cried, 'do something to me, please. Bite me, pinch me, suck on me. You're driving me crazy. Oh, Jesus, I love you. Please make me. Oh, Christ, you're tearing me apart with your love. Ronny, you've got to make me! Please baby, I can't take any more! Oh, I love you! Please fuck me!'
"He said nothing, but kept breathing his hot breath into the dark delicateness of my cheeks. His hands cupped both sides of my ass and he began squeezing and pressing those spongy mounds, which gave me new and delightful feelings. Then, " as if to surprise my already over-stimulated body, he pressed his tongue against my anus. Oh, God, I wanted to scream out for him to fuck me at last. How much longer was he going to torture me? I needed his prick inside me so bad.
"His tongue left my anus and he began to make little bites on my cheeks, sucking and nibbling small areas of sponginess in his mouth. My hips moved uncontrollably in circles, then jerked from side to side. Every bite, every suck made my clitoris swell and pulsate. I ground my hips into the mattress to get some contact on my pussy, to find some relief from his wonderful manipulations of my soft body. He was literally driving me crazy with this nonstop teasing and perpetual stimulation of every part of me but my insides-that which was screaming desperately for caresses.
"As he squeezed and bit into one soft cheek, his free hand reached under me, sliding a finger up and down my sopping wet pussy lips, up to the clitoris and back down to the hole, then continuing back to my anus. Oh, God, I was writhing like a mad woman. When was he going to fuck me? He had perfect control of his rhythm and movement; he was pushing my nervous system over the brink of tolerance. Each time his finger slid from my clitoris, caressing the full length of my pussy lips, and to my anus, I plunged my hips downward into the mattress, in a desperate fucking movement. The whole area, from my cunt to my ass was tingling with sexual energy.
"Now he concentrated his full attention on my ass, pulling the cheeks apart, licking my anus. I moaned and whimpered, groaned for his prick to become part of me, any part of me. I had to have my lover in me, to feel his stiff cock caressing my insides. As he continued chewing on my ass, his finger again slipped between my pussy lips and rubbed my clitoris. 'Oh, Jesus, Ronny,' I cried out, 'you've got to fuck me now. I don't want to come without you in me. Please fuck me now before I come!' All the while, his fingers were flipping my hard sex button back and forth, driving me up the walls, while his tongue licked my anus, which by now had become so sexually aroused that I wanted and needed gratification even there. To my surprise, I uttered, 'Fuck me in the ass, fuck me in the ass. Oh, make it feel good. Fuck me in the ass.'
"I was wild, reeling in ecstasy. My cunt wasn't crying out anymore, but his long stimulation of my anus and ass caused a need, a craving for gratification in a different way from the usual. Ronny withdrew his fingers from my slit, grasped both sides of my full hips, and drew them upward so I was on my knees and elbows. He coated his beautiful prick with his thick saliva and pressed it against my anus. It was now the center of my sex.
"At the time, I knew what was happening, that it wasn't what usually satisfied me, but that's what my body needed right then-to be fucked in the ass. I felt crazy and wild with lust. Ronny's seduction aroused feelings in me that no other man had. I felt that my body was created to entomb a penis regardless of how or where it plunged into me. He seduced my little ass into wanting him there, and the thought of being fucked in such a different manner drove me to greater heights of abandonment.
"He grasped my hips firmly and pushed his hard prick forward, into my hot waiting ass. I pushed back, driving his hot meat full into my hungry body. It was weird, strange, and therefore exciting! He pulled out a little and plunged his hot prick into my tight ass again. I moaned and wiggled with ecstatic passion. I could feel parts of my insides being massaged that had never been stimulated before; a kind of distant but extremely pleasurable sexual pressure. He pulled me to him, pounding my soft ass against his hips. I loved the power in his hands, the way he controlled my body and made it move in rhythm with my needs. I could feel that hot prick going deeper and deeper into the unknown recesses of my ass, that mysterious territory no penis had ever explored or made sexually excited.
"I raised my ass higher and higher, begging for his prick to drive in again and again. Then, while his giant cock throbbed in my body, he reached around and began to finger my clitoris. I could feel the muscles in my stomach clench hard, as if wanting to squeeze that monstrous prick with all my body had to give. My ass tightened, squeezing his prick firmly as he slipped it slowly out a few inches, then drove it to the hilt, all the while flipping my sex button like mad. My head became hot and numb; skyrockets flashed across my eyelids as my whole being seemed to explode in an onrush of fiery coals and molten lava. I was coming from what seemed like every part of me. There was a complete shattering of every cell in my hot body; I came again and again, screaming at the top of my lungs at each throb of my orgasm, jerking and flipping my hips and shoulders in wild spasms of indescribable joy.
"I collapsed in exhaustion onto the bed. Ronny rolled off to give me breathing room and flopped one hand on my ass. That was the most fantastic orgasm-I should say series of orgasms-I had ever had up to that time.
"Shit! You talk about experimenting! That was the zenith! Only it really wasn't an experiment. He made me want to be fucked in the rear. That's what was so fantastic about the whole thing. That first experience of getting screwed in the ass taught me an important thing about sex that I hadn't realized: you can enjoy almost any kind of sex if it is introduced in a tantalizing and exciting manner. Ronny had introduced me to anal screwing in just that way."
Studied from a psychosexual orientation, the subject of this case history has several quite serious emotional problems, all of which stem from one root factor. She is completely and totally in love with herself. Not the normal selfish self-interest which is an accepted part of the psychological makeup of all of us, but an overpowering narcissism which had distorted her entire psychosexual operative outlook into something which is close to being psychopathological.
One of the most positive indicators of this strong narcissistic behavioral pattern is her continuous masturbatory activity, a form of sexual behavior still considered to be totally abhorrent and perverted by many people. A large part of the reason for this attitude to self-stimulation is no doubt due to the teachings a child receives from his or her parents regarding masturbation. Teachings which are, for the most part, quite inaccurate.
The various familial rules against masturbation have given birth to numberless myths regarding the subject. Myths such as the one which states that masturbation is a direct cause of mental illness, or that it will make a person become sterile, or cause hair to grow on the hands. Actually, there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support these old-wives' tales. L. Dearborn, in his article on autoeroticism in the Encyclopedia of Sexual Behavior, stated:
No other form of sexual activity has been more frequently discussed, more roundly condemned, and more universally practiced than masturbation.
Actually, masturbation is considered to be a psychopathological indicator only when it either becomes a compulsion beyond the willful control of the subject or the sole form of sexual activity when more normal forms of sexual expression are available. In this case, the subject is not physically limited to masturbatory activity, and indeed takes part in heterosexual activity. The self-stimulation does, however, show signs of being a compulsive form of behavior with her. This shows that her masturbatory activity is a symptom of her emotional disturbance, narcissism, not because it is a form of abnormal sexual behavior, but because it is compulsive behavior.
The studies done by the Kinsey research team and reported in their book Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, indicate that over seventy-five percent of all women have engaged in masturbation. This shows conclusively that self-stimulation is a virtually universal and inevitable aspect of psychosexual development, and in most cases it has been shown that it is adaptive in nature; that is, it is an adaption compensating for a missing element in normal heterosexual relationships. In this case, the adaptive factor is narcissism. Since the subject is unable to find anyone she loves as much as herself, she prefers to make love, sexual love, to herself, although she is willing to engage in relationships with men. She does not, however, receive the emotional satisfaction from these relationships that she gets from her masturbatory activities.
Sandor Rado, in Volume One of The Psychoanalysis of Behavior, stated that normal heterosexual love is made up of three major components, sexual love, magical love, and sensual love. Examination of the subject shows that, in all three components, her love is directed inward.
In sexual love the dominant factor is a desire for shared orgasmic release between the partners. While the subject here is able to enjoy orgasmic release through heterosexual behavior, the enjoyment is selfish, in that she is not in the least interested in whether or not her partner reaches a satisfactory orgasm. Added to this is the factor that she is able to achieve a more complete release through masturbatory activity.
Magical love, according to Rado, is the feeling that one's love partner is supremely intelligent and powerful, able to provide security, care, and comfort, and is a shield against the problems of the everyday world. The magical love object, in effect, performs the same functions as the parents did, with the same effect. The subject of this case history, since she is strongly narcissistically oriented, is unable to conceive of a person more intelligent or powerful than herself. In addition, she believes that she is able to provide for her own security, comfort, and care much better than any outside agency, better even than her parents; consequently, it is impossible for her to feel any form of magical love for a person of the opposite sex.
The sensual form of love-relationships is stimulated by an appreciation of the psysical attractiveness, the obvious sexuality, of the love-partner chosen, and, in addition, is an idealization of him on a highly subjective level. The appreciation of sexual attractiveness is what draws some women to fantasies involving movie stars, and the subjective idealization is the root cause of the fantasies in which the woman fantasizes the possibility of a relationship with the movie star. On a more normal level this sensual love is directed at whatever man the woman has become involved with. In this case, the subject is in love with herself, with her ability to stimulate herself to orgasm, and since her sensual love-choice (herself) is available, the idealization is real, rather than a fantasy.
"I saw quite a bit of Ronny in the ensuing weeks, but as with most relationships there had to come a parting of the ways. We were lovers for about two months, living like man and wife in our off hours. While it lasted, it was a real groove. He's the one man who will live in my memory because he gave me such wonderful sex. There's always someone like that in everybody's life, I guess, and he was it for me.
"But I didn't have sex just through the rear-that came afterwards, when we broke up. Knowing how much I liked having my ass stimulated, however, Ronny usually fingered my anus while we fucked or sixty-nined. I could tell when he planned on putting his finger in my ass because he would spend several minutes filing the nail of his index finger before coming to bed. That was to make sure he didn't scratch my insides. We had an intense love affair which began with sex and never stopped. I mean, there was hardly a moment one of us wasn't fondling the other.
"I was crazy about his body and he felt the same about mine. That's a glorious thing when two people are so sexually attracted to each other that their flesh becomes an overwhelming and all-consuming fixation. We spent more time in bed together than out of bed. When we came back to the apartment after our shift at the hospital, we kissed as soon as we got inside our love nest. One kiss turned us both on, and off to bed we'd go.
"One time, after I had made dinner, Ronnie looked at me from the living-room sofa where he was resting, and I felt that sexual warmth sweep through me. Just a look, mind you! We were so attuned to each other that one loving glance was enough to make my body weak with desire. I walked over to him, sat down and kissed him full on the lips. His hands went under my uniform and slowly slid around to my ass. He didn't even have to play with my tits anymore to make me reel with passion; all he had to do was caress my plump little ass and I melted in his arms. I thought surely I had become a nymphomaniac, so often were we having sex. I couldn't get enough of his loving.
"He stuck his tongue in my mouth and hot ribbons of fire trickled through my body and nestled in one massive burst of flame in my clitoris. I sucked his tongue hungrily, with the same love and lust I had sucked his prick the night before. I unzipped his fly and took that large swollen cock in my hand, squeezing it and pumping it. He moaned into my mouth with passion as his fingers found their way to my anus. Slowly, gently, he rubbed that small dark area, sending shivers all through me. My vagina, clitoris, and anus were all responding simultaneously, contracting and expanding in spasms of sexual excitement. I could feel my panties getting soaked with my love juice, wet from my lover's magic hands.
" 'Dinner can wait,' I moaned.
"Ronny 'mmmmed' and put his tongue back into my wet mouth. I loved sucking on him, any part of him: his tongue, his nipples, his prick his ass. All of him was delicious and made me sexy.
"We got up from the sofa and he swept me up in his arms. His tongue reached out and licked my lips. I cried a whimpering sigh and sucked that beautiful tongue back into my mouth. He set me down at the foot of the bed and we undressed quickly. I sat on the edge of the bed and took his gorgeous love stick in my delicate hands and kissed the head of that pleasure-giving flesh with tenderness and desire. That beautiful prick was the joy of my life, the thing I lived for. I wanted it in every part of my body, wanted to feel his hot swollen prick between my breasts, in my mouth, between my thighs ... everyplace.
"My hands reached up and cupped his cheeks as my mouth opened wide to suck in his manly prick. I brought him to me, sucking that swollen hunk of sex full into my throat. I had learned to relax my throat muscles so that I could give him full satisfaction by taking in every inch of his cock. I loved fucking him with my mouth. I loved to tell him that too. It made him hot just to hear me say it.
"My tongue licked the underside of his prick, up and around the delicate purple knob. It moved and swelled in my hands as if to tell me how much it liked what I was doing. Ronny placed his soft hands on my face and gently pulled me away from his joy stick. I lay back on the bed as he moved that long prick into my pussy lips. With jabbing motions, his wet prick poked at my clitoris. He kept hitting it with the tip of his prick over and over, as though fucking that little hot spot. Fireworks exploded down there every time his loving meat pressed against me. My mouth opened and closed, moaning and whimpering from the intense sensations flitting all through my loins and stomach. There was no other contact, just his soft firm prick touching me in my most sensitive part. It made me mad with longing for his entire body to hug me and crush me to him.
"I didn't want him to stop, and yet that constant intense sex feeling that shot through me each time his prick bounced off my clitoris gave me the craving for more in other parts of my body. I was writhing on the bed and whimpering. I loved what he was doing to me, and at the same time I was frustrated from not having that prick inside me to finish what he had started. I couldn't stand any more, and both lust and hunger finally exploded as I cried out a torrent of cursing. 'Oh, you son of a bitch! You're killing me, you bastard! You fucker! Oh, you beautiful shit! Give me your prick, damn it! You dirty cocksucker! Fuckin' bastard! Oh, shit, stop it! You're killing me, you fucking bastard ! Oh, cocksucking dirty son-of-a-bitch ... fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!'
"He rammed his cock into my pussy as my legs flew around his hips. I jammed my cunt at him, swallowing his big cock all the way to the end of my cunt. We rammed our pubic bones together, which caused both pain and pleasure. I was violent, thrashing my body against his with every ounce of energy my muscles could force. We were fighting a war of sexual energy, Ronny wildly hurling his prick into me as I met him with equal thrusts, plunging my hips at him with fierce lunges.
" 'Stick it in my ass!' I screamed. 'Stick it in my tight ass!' I wanted that pole in every slit and opening of my body. He pulled his prick out of my pussy and positioned it lower, as I raised my hips to meet his. With one lunge his fat swollen prick pierced my anus and became mine in another hole. He grabbed my hips and pulled and pushed, ramming his meat into my sexy ass, pounding my cheeks, my fleshy hot ass that delighted in the poundings as our bodies met.
"I reached down with one hand, fumbling nervously for my clitoris. There was sex juice flowing copiously, running down the slit, lubricating my ass and Ronny's penis. I swept one finger up the center of my pussy lips and came upon my engorged clitoris. It was throbbing, pressing outward to meet my soft finger. My lovely sex button, that miniature prick which sent me flying whenever it was rubbed.
"As Ronny's giant prick was setting my being on fire, I rubbed and pressed that little joy button with a vengeance. Sex was never better, I thought. Any sex with him was good. He slammed that big tool of his into me as I heightened my passion by pinching and twisting that hard red flesh, bathed in my love juices which felt sexy even to my touch.
"I felt my whole body begin to leap with the sexual flames of the oncoming orgasm, an orgasm which was going to make all the others seem like little ripples. At the last few seconds, as the mounting fires consumed my insides, I brought my other hand to my breast and sucked in my nipple. Excruciating shocks of unbelievable sensuous intensity jolted into my clitoris, which I had been pinching and pulling with madness. I sucked my sweet nipple harder, pressing it against my teeth for greater and more painful stimulation. The hurricane of excitement came crashing in as the world spun wildly, throwing me in all directions. An orgasm of unbelievable strength and power ripped through my body, causing one burst of explosions after another, catapulting my senses to unknown heights of joy. My body shrieked in agonizing pleasure. I felt as though I were screaming deafening sounds from every cell and pore of my body.
"The very next thing I remember was somebody crying, a hysterical weeping that shook my body as it lay curled on the bed. Strong arms surrounded me as I quivered, tears flowing down my cheeks in small rivers. The crying ceased as quickly as it had begun. I lay heavy on the bed, sinking deeper, floating softly down, down, down....
"I was abruptly awakened by music coming from the radio alarm clock. My God! We slept straight through till the next morning. I guess our bodies had just had it.
"That day was a very groggy one at the hospital, I can tell you! If I had to assist in any emergencies, I don't think I would have been much help. My veins felt like they contained liquid lead instead of blood. The night had really wrung me out.
"A few weeks later Ronny got a transfer to a hospital across town. The hassle of driving the distance made it necessary for him to move closer to his work, so we didn't see too much of each other. Our dates tapered off until suddenly there were no more dates, no more phone calls, no more Ronny. It just petered out slowly. He began dating other nurses at his hospital, and I found myself fighting the loneliness by accepting dates with other fellows.
"But during our relationship I had developed a taste, a need for anal screwing. I could come without normal intercourse. At the beginning, I would use other stimulation along with being screwed in the ass, like having the guy play with my clitoris or nipples while he fucked me. But as time went on, I discovered that my rectum had developed sufficient sensitivity to arrive at an orgasm without additional stimulation.
"There was no trouble in getting men to screw me there because not many girls go for this sort of thing. I guess it's because we're brought up to think that anything outside of so-called normal intercourse is sick, or perverted. But I never dated a fellow who didn't enjoy it with me, which proves that there's nothing abnormal about it. They all expressed their enthusiasm when I told them to fuck me in the ass. It's different and exciting.
"And there is small chance that I'll get pregnant doing it with my ass. I can't take those birth-control pills because of side effects, so this kind of fucking works for me in more ways than one. I haven't been screwed in my pussy for months, and I don't miss it. I'm completely satisfied having a man's penis in my rectum. I get the same glorious satisfaction of him filling my body with his, that wonderful feeling of oneness.
"But anal intercourse hasn't replaced everything, just vaginal intercourse. I still like sixty-nining and all the other things that make sex interesting. In fact, I can't stand a guy who only wants to fuck. I love to suck on penises and have guys suck on me. And at other times I'd rather just play around, like mutual masturbation. If a guy wants to finger-fuck me, that's okay too. Just as long as we enjoy ourselves. But when it comes down to screwing, I like it better in my ass than in my pussy.
"I remember this young intern who took me out.
When we got down to the nude in my bedroom, he immediately went for my cunt. After he finger-fucked me for a while, I asked him to put his finger in my ass. The poor guy froze, shocked at what I said. I don't suppose he'd been around too much. I mean, anybody who's at all sophisticated knows there's nothing weird about anal stimulation. It just takes one little experience to learn how nice it is to have your ass played with. And to prove my point, I seduced this young intern, and while I sucked his sweet prick I began playing with his ass. He liked it all right, and after a few minutes of petting his cheeks I wetted my finger with saliva and pushed it against his anus. As I sucked in his prick, my finger made little circles on his hole. You should have seen him squirm.
"Then I slowly pushed my finger into his ass and he moaned like crazy. I blew him while moving my finger in and out and around in histight little hole. After he came he told me it was one of the best comes he ever had!
"But there were some men that I couldn't take in the ass-their pricks were too big, and it hurt when they put it in. I can take a big prick in my vagina-that damn thing will stretch for a horse, if it has to! But not my little ass. If a guy has a really mammoth dick, I can't accommodate him. That's how I judge whether or not I fuck the fellow I'm out with, by the size of his organ. By fucking, I mean in the ass. I don't have any trouble coaxing a man away from my pussy and into my rectum. It's so seldom they meet a girl who actually asks to be screwed from the back that they don't hesitate for a second in putting it in me.
"Another time, just as I was getting ready for bed, some salesman knocked on the door peddling cookware. He was in his thirties, quite good-looking, and very sexy. He had that virile personality that some salesmen project, a vibrant, alive feeling. I let him in the apartment, partly out of curiosity of his product and partly to see if this virile hunk of masculinity could turn me on by his presence. He showed me brochures and pamphlets illustrating his wares, and kept glancing at my nightgown, searching for the outline of my body underneath. It was a flannel nightie, and not at all transparent.
"As I leaned over to examine one of the pictures, my boobies bounced loosely under the nightie and his eyes immediately went to the moving cloth. I could see out of the corner of my eye that his face was getting red as he stared at my tits. I looked him square in the face and said, 'Do you see something interesting?'
"He was so flabbergasted at the question that he jerked his hands nervously on his briefcase and cleared his throat. The more I looked at him the warmer I got. When he realized I was flirting, and not being sarcastic, his muscles relaxed and he said, 'Yes. You.'
"He was exciting me. Not to drop the ball, I said, 'Maybe you'd like to see my wares. They're not for cooking, but I'll bet they can get you pretty hot.' I took his hand and placed it on one of my tits. He dropped his briefcase, squeezed my breast hard, and kissed me on the neck. My juices began to flow. He kissed me again and again all over my neck, making my cunt flow like mad. I could feel my clitoris swelling and throbbing, beginning to ache with sexual longing. I hadn't had any sex in over a week and was ripe for picking. Every time he kissed my smooth neck I felt stronger stimulation swirling in my stomach and pussy. My ass was tingling, telling me it too wanted to be touched and loved.
"I stood up and said, 'I think we'll be more comfortable in bed.' He replied, 'You know it, lady. I could be real comfortable with you there.'
"He began undressing frantically, as though racing against time. When he was completely naked, I stood and looked at his beautifully tanned body. He was muscular and in good physical shape. I hadn't seen a body like his in ages. We were both breathing heavily, looking searchingly into each other's eyes. He approached me and slipped his hands under my nightie, grabbing the I cheeks of my ass hard. I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth as he brought my hips against his hard prick. He squeezed me tighter, sucking on my tongue till it hurt. His hands were digging into my ass with tremendous strength, kneading the soft cheeks in his iron grip.
"He was so excited that he lost control of his muscular potential. But though he hurt me, I still kept getting more excited. I was enjoying his rough handling of my body. He ground his prick into my pussy area, making fucking movements, and squeezing my ass so hard I thought he'd tear me apart. It only made me hotter. I ground my lips against his, twisting and turning my mouth, sucking forcefully. He moaned and countered with more rapid hand movements on my ass. I thought he would crush my hips, so hard was he grinding them against his own. That prick felt like an iron bar pressing into my stomach.
"I pulled my mouth from his, gasping and panting. 'Let me remove my nightie,' I said, barely getting the words out.
"His hands quickly released their steel grip from my ass and shot to the top of the nightie. With one lightning stroke he ripped my nightie open, baring my titties. His arms encircled my bare waist as he sank his teeth deep into my fleshy shoulders. He was wild and animalistic, and it made me even more excited. I fell headlong into his orgiastic and unselfconscious mood of lust. I flung my arms around his massive shoulders and dug my nails into his back, sucking and biting on his neck. It was wild and primitive. I felt like an animal who knew nothing of the refinements which people had developed in their lovemaking. I didn't think; I just felt and fought with him. This was a contest.
"He bit and sucked unmercifully on my shoulders and neck, as my nails dug into his flesh, scratching, piercing his massive body. We were in a jungle of complete abandonment. No rules, no considerations for the other's feelings; just selfish, almost hostile, attacks of sexual abuse on the flesh, raising our desires to higher and higher peaks of aggression.
"He sucked my cheek into his mouth and bit down hard. I screamed with pain; pain which was mixed with pleasure, as my body cried out for more abuse. 'I'm gonna fuck you so hard I'm gonna kill you,' he grunted, then squeezed me So hard I thought I would pass out. My torn nightie had fallen to the floor, so our naked bodies were in full contact, wet and hot with lusty passion. He pushed me hard against the bed, pinching my flesh as he did so. I fell onto the mattress, rolling facedown.
"He pounced on my ass and chewed into the soft fluffy mounds like an animal after its prey. He jammed a thick finger into my cunt, moving it jerkingly, roughly ... for his pleasure, not mine. 'Oh, you sweet ass, you,' he gasped, 'you fucking sweet ass. You're gonna get yours.' He removed his finger from my pussy and rammed it into my ass. I was helpless under his strong hands, but I was loving the helplessness, thrilling in his dominance of my body. 'Oh, you sweet ass,' he repeated, 'you fucking sexy ass,' and again his teeth sank into my smooth fleshy cheeks, biting and sucking every inch.
"He pulled his finger out of my anus and grasped both cheeks in his large muscular fingers, squeezing my flesh unmercifully, experiencing its texture and softness, reveling in the way my flesh fought against his pressure and molding. I moaned the moans of sexual agony when everything is right and good.
"He spread my cheeks wide and attacked my sensitive anus, licking and sucking hungrily, drooling his thick saliva over my entire crack. He buried his face between my cheeks, groaning with his exquisite pleasure of being surrounded by my lovely ass. He licked and sucked as my hips swayed to the rhythm of his moving lips and tongue.
"His warm face left my cheeks and he climbed upwards, lying flat and full upon me. The weight of his heavy body sent chills of sexual delight all through me. He sucked and chewed my shoulders and upper back, sending sharp delirious shocks of throbbing passion into my clitoris and anus. His hips rose as one hand aimed his cock into my tight cheeks. Then, with his full force, he plunged it deep into my ass, smothering my body again with his. I screamed with joy. He filled me with a giant prick, all the while keeping my helpless body pinned beneath his own. The complete contact, the warmth of his body, made me feel protected and loved completely.
"With small insertions and withdrawals, his prick stayed full in my ass, his hips pounding over and over on those rubbery cheeks of mine. His hands reached under and grasped my hot breasts. As his fingers found my nipples and began to pinch them, I thought I would die from the ecstasy. I couldn't move; I wanted to writhe and twist, but his heavy body kept mine immobile. His total domination of me was thrilling, a kind of frustrating sexual excitement.
"His pinching of my tits was driving me wild. The fucking he gave my ass was absolutely fulfilling. And then, with a warning pulsation which rippled through my body, I felt my orgasm winding its way, making swirling fires in my belly, traveling to my ass, and finally erupting in a volcanic fury as I screamed my pleasure into the vast ocean of turbulence surrounding me. He bit his teeth into my flesh, raising the peak of my orgasm still higher. His large penis drove in to the hilt, spurting its juices deep into the recesses of my body.
"We lay there for several minutes, gasping for air, not moving or speaking. His prick still lay buried in my loving ass, keeping the cooling flames of that sensitive part warm with his magnificent tool.
"He left me as I lay, overjoyed with this new and different experience. I heard the rustle of his clothes as he got dressed. I was too weak to even turn over and look or talk. He disappeared, closing the front door, as I drifted off into blissful sleep."
It is extremely doubtful if the subject of this case history will ever be able to form a "normal" sexual relationship with a man, primarily because of her strongly established narcissism or self-love. The fact that she is able to enjoy sexual relationships with men in no way changes this evaluation, since these relationships take place on a purely physical level, with no deep emotional involvement.