Chapter 5
Marlene M. is seventeen years old, black-haired with sparkling blue eyes and a slim, model-like figure. She is an intelligent girl who has sought to rectify what might be termed a troubled childhood through her own actions. In this case, we shall follow, through Marlene's own words, the voyage she took in order to complete her own life.
Marlene was born into a well-to-do family living in San Francisco. Her father was an executive with an oil company and her mother a pretty matron of the arts. But when Marlene was six years old, her parents split up. Her father was booted from the household and after his departure no mention of his name was ever allowed again. Thus, Marlene grew up with a strange picture of who her father was, never really knowing the man except for the occasional slip from her mother.
Using a tape recorder and Marlene's willingness to tell me everything in complete detail, I was able to trace the events of her voyage in which she sought out her father. At sixteen, the young girl had decided that possibly her mother had been wrong about him, and had decided to find out the truth for herself. It is this search for the true facts that we shall concern ourselves with here.
In each case history we have examined, guilt plays a large role in determining the actions of the participants. In Marlene's case, that factor will play an even larger role. With this consideration brought to your attention, we shall begin.
I decided to look for my father on my sixteenth birthday. That was the day my mother tried to hide a birthday card sent by him. I found the card in a dresser drawer with the postmark from Los Angeles. I knew that it was from him, that man who had never been mentioned.
Throughout my childhood, I had heard my mother say nothing good about my father. When she did speak of him, which was on very rare occasions, it was in purely negative terms. I knew that before I began my life on my own, I would have to find out who he was ... what kind of man he was and if he loved me.
I wrote my mother a letter telling her that it was 'high time I left'. I figured that if I could give her some excuse, some kind of story which she could tell her club members about me being some kind of a typical daughter then she wouldn't bother thinking any further about the situation. Even though I had been raised by her, I still didn't like her. I mean, she was a woman who had her own thing, and everything like that, but there was something really phony about her. Watching how she treated men, I sometimes wondered if maybe my father hadn't been smart to leave. Sometimes I would try to imagine what he must have been like staying with a woman like her, and most times I would just stop trying when I realized that it must have been very difficult for any man to have stayed with her.
The night I left, I bought a ticket on a bus to L.A. and that was the most exciting night of my life. My mother had always arranged my dates, trying to get me to marry into high society and everything. Just riding on that bus, not knowing what was going to happen next was a thrilling experience for me.
On the same bus with me was a guy named Al. He was a long -haired dude with a long mustache. My mother had always warned me about guys like him, but after talking with him for a while I knew that he was kind and gentle.
"I'm just wandering around," He told me after he took the seat next to me. "You know, kind of just seeing what's happening in this world...."
I told him that I was going to L.A. to see my father. It made me feel good to tell someone that I had a father, kind of made the whole thing real in my own mind.
"That's a groovy thing," Al said, lighting a cigarette, "always good to be in touch with the old man. They seem stupid when you're young, but when you grow they seem to get a little wiser...."
He seemed to understand exactly what I was doing, or at least what I was looking for. After a while of talking and laughing together, Al took me into his arms and kissed me. It was a long, passionate kiss ... I had never been kissed by any of the fellows at the yacht club that way. I was more turned on by that kiss than by any other kiss I had ever had.
"You always kiss that way?" I asked after we parted.
"Only when the girl is as beautiful as you are...." And I could see that he meant it.
We necked for the next fifty miles. For the first time in my life, I opened my mouth to a boy. Boys had tried the same thing at the club, but I had always thought it kind of dirty to touch tongues when you kissed. With Al, it all seemed natural ... as though that was what was supposed to be done when two people kissed.
When he tried to touch my breast, though, I began to panic. His hand was gentle, but he was determined to touch me there. I guess I was pretty innocent because I took his hand away and placed it into his lap. He just laughed.
"Oh," He moaned, pulling out another smoke, "You're one of them. That's too bad. I thought you were hip, you know, someone who dug a little pleasure and wasn't afraid of it."
I explained that I hardly knew him, and that nice girls didn't go around doing things like that. The words flowed from my mouth, but they didn't belong to me. They were the words and phrases of my mother, and that realization made me kiss him again. If there was anything I wanted to do, it was to get away from the teachings of my mother. I had always felt that there was something wrong with her, something that just wasn't natural.
"That's better, Marlene...." He said after I kissed him again long and hard. This time, I took his hand and put it on my breast. I really enjoyed the feeling as he pinched my nipple beneath the material of my blouse. His fingers were gentle, and he really seemed to know what he was doing.
"You like that?" He asked after ho. had pushed his hand underneath my blouse and was touching my bra.
"Yes ... I do...." The more time that passed, the more I began to realize that pleasure was its own thing. I mean, there was nothing religious or sacred about it, there was nothing like fireworks connected with it. It was just something that felt good. Al had that ability to make the scene without any kind of big deal being attached to it. He just did it.
In the darkness of the bus, I let him unsnap mv bra and take it off. Being naked underneath my blouse was a real thrill for me. To feel my breasts hanging free was something I had only seen in other girls who wore no bra ... it was great to feel it for real on myself.
"You've got nice breasts...." He said. His hand was on them and he was pinching my nipples. I was beginning to breathe real hard, and the whole thing was turning me on like I had never been turned on before.
When he began rubbing my belly, I decided that I wouldn't stop him. I knew what he was after, and was more than willing by that time to let him get it. I was a new person now, and I knew that I would have to find things out for myself. I wanted to touch everything, to know what all feelings were about. I was willing to let Al show me the way.
His hand went underneath the top elastic of my slacks and he roamed far down my belly. I was scared as his fingers began fumbling around the area where my pubic hair started. And when he reached my crack, I thought I would jump out of my seat.
But I couldn't stop him. It was going too far. There were things I wanted to know. Everything my mother had warned mc about was now happening, and if only for that reason I had to let them go all the way.
"Touch me...." His voice was strained and his words came at me like a command that I couldn't refuse.
"Alright ... but easy and slow, okay?"
"Okay."
I sat back and watched him as he unzipped his pants and drew out his penis. It was the first time I had ever seen a man except in the pictures that some of the girls in the club had brought in once. His penis was already hard, and it looked big and threatening as it popped out of his pants. In the darkness, it seemed to glow.
"Listen," Al said, feeling probably a little embarrassed, "you don't have to if you don't want to...."
I asked him what he was talking about. He took my hand and placed it on his cock. The hard skin, the roundness and heat of the thing sent chills up my spine. I wrapped my fingers around it and began stroking it. I knew that that was something a girl was supposed to do with a man. I wanted to do it all.
"Easy, baby ... slower!"
He was really getting turned on. I began stroking him harder now, pulling on his prick as though it were a tool to be used. I watched his face as my hand seemed to move on its own faster and faster up and down his shaft. I knew that he would come, and I wanted him to. I didn't care anymore. There was a feeling of power inside me that wouldn't allow me to stop. I wanted him to spurt all of his juices into the air, to see him as he was at his most vulnerable.
"Oh yeah...." He cried out when his white stuff started shooting in uneven bursts from the tip. I kept jacking him off until everything had shot from him. When he was empty, I held his penis and waited for it to get soft again.
"Hey baby," He said, when his prick was now soft, "you're really something else!"
I smiled. I felt new and reborn. The words of my mother seemed to grow so much less meaningful. In the course of a couple of hours on a bus, I had managed to get further than I had after sixteen years. The excitement of my accomplishment was invigorating and tiring. I fell asleep and did not awake until the skyline of Los Angeles appeared in the dawn's early light.
Al took me to his apartment where his sister and her boyfriend lived. Whenever he came through town, this was home for Al. It was a nice place, located in Hollywood with a large swimming pool that was filled with young people even when we arrived early in the morning.
"This is home when in L.A. Marlene ... you can stay or leave ... whatever."
His sister, Eve, was an older girl. She looked tough and worn, looked as though she had been around.
"Where are you working?" She asked me before I even had a chance to take a sip of the coffee she had prepared.
"I don't know ... maybe in a store or something...." I hadn't really given any thought to money. I thought I would find my father right away without having to wait around. The thought that it might take longer than I first expected brought me quickly back to reality.
"You can't work in a damn store, Marlene, it'll take you months to save any kind of money."
I asked Eve what she suggested I should do.
"Come with me. You've got a nice body, I'm sure they can use your talents...." She smiled wickedly. I didn't know what she was talking about, but when she mentioned a hundred dollars for a day's work, I was willing to give it a try.
Eve drove down Santa Monica to a sordid little store front that was boarded up. All around this place were bookstores selling adult books and magazines. I had seen this kind of neighborhood in San Francisco in North Beach, so I wasn't too bother by the atmosphere.
"Now," Eve warned when we walked into the front office, "just be cool and you'll get your money."
A short man with a beard came out from the rear and kissed Eve. Then he stood back and looked me up and down. I didn't like his eves on me, nor the way he smiled when he had fin ished with his preliminary examination.
"Very nice, Eve. Your recruitment tactics are amazing...."
"She came in with Al on the bus. She needs a quick hundred ... if that can be arranged."
"I'm sure there will be no problem if she's willing to understand our artistic procedures here...."
I finally had to speak up. I asked them both exactly what was happening, and what I was expected to do.
"Just come with me...."
The short man's name was Burt. He led me through a long hallway to a small, darkened room in the rear. He went over to the wall, switched on a knob and suddenly the room was blaringly well lit. There were five or six large lights pointed towards a small set covered with red, velvet blankets.
"Okay, honey ... start posing...."
He handed me a fifty dollar bill. I knew at that moment that I would have to go through the rigors of this thing if I was to eventually have enough money to continue my search.
"Okay, baby, just be natural ... I'll do the rest...."
He stood behind a camera and began fooling with the focus. I could hardly see him because of the lights and that made me feel better. I began striking as many poses as I could think of, copying those women I had seen in the fashion magazines. Burt snapped about ten shots then stopped.
"You've got a nice touch. You've got class ... now start turning it on with a slow strip, okay?"
"Alright...." Even though this would be the first time I was naked in front of a man, I didn't mind it. It was the same feeling I had had on the bus returning again, making me want to do everything against the rules under which I had grown up. Anyway, Burt was a nice guy, and I already had enough money to last me a week with the promise of another fifty after the session. I figured I had nothing to lose, but a whole lot to gain from this experience.
I peeled open my blouse and held the sides together in front of me. Then, in a moment of daring, I reached behind me, unsnapped my bra and turned it around so it would appear that I was naked underneath.
"That's the way, honey, you're beautiful...." I posed this way for a few shots, then let the blouse drop open. I grew excited, I mean, my nipples grew hard when the air touched my naked breasts. The heat of the lamps warmed me, and my skin glistened. I felt very sexy and womanly knowing that someday there would be men standing in bookstores looking at my naked body, wishing that they could be with me.
"Marlene," Burt said softly behind the camera, "hold your breasts, play with them...."
I pushed my melons upwards and lowered my mouth and touched my nipples with my tongue. It was the first time I had ever touched myself that way, and the feeling was very satisfying. I encircled the buds with my tongue for a full five minutes, and by the time Burt asked me to change poses, my vagina was soaking wet. "Okay, take the rest off...." I pulled down my pants, striking poses at each step of the action. In one, I stuck out my ass and smiled into the camera. In another, I spread my legs outwards towards the lens and held the front of my jeans down just below my crotch. I was really getting into trying to turn that camera on.
Just standing there wearing nothing but my panties. I began to touch myself all over. Burt seemed to disappear from behind the camera, and I became the only person in the room. The sweat was pouring down, and my cunt was flowing with juices like a fountain. I played with my panties, pulled them tightly up into my crack and spread my thighs outwards towards the camera's eye. Finally, I tugged them completely off and faced the objective eye in the nude.
"Yeah...." Burt moaned when he shot the first full nude of me. I was happy that he liked the way I looked.
"A little beaver, Marlene...."
"A little what?"
"Uh, you know, spread your legs and let them boys out there look right up between ... okay?"
"Okay." I lay down on the red velvet rugs and threw my legs apart. I pulled the lips of my cunt apart and felt the heat of the lamps warming me up inside. I knew that I was excited, my vagina was throbbing just slightly. The wetness down there must have been glistening like crazy.
"She's doing alright...."
Burt was speaking to Eve. She stood off to the side wearing a very short bathrobe. She smoked slowly while watching me pose, then threw her cigarette to the ground and walked into the glare of the floodlights.
"Marlene," She said quietly, taking a seat next to me, "I hope you don't mind if I earn a little bread with you."
Her hand was on my thigh. Her robe fell open and her right breast fell free. Her nipple was hard, and the bud seemed to glisten with a life of its own beneath the harsh light.
"I don't know, Eve ... will it make any difference about the money?"
Eve laughed. "No, baby, you'll still get your hundred even if you don't do anything with me. But, if you do do it, you'll get an extra fifty."
I liked her. She was honest. I reached over to her and pulled the robe from her shoulders. I held her breasts, those small masses of flesh capped with her strikingly hard nipples.
"That's better...." Her eyes were wide, her pupils larger than usual. She was really turned on by me, by my nudity and by my touch.
"Okay girls ... give me five minutes of goodies...." Burt seemed happy with the developments taking place before his camera's eye. Later, he would tell me that I was the prettiest model he had ever had pose for him. The price of my pictures on the market were twice the going rate.
Eve's robe slipped easily from her body. Her blonde pubic hair was t-rimmed into the shape of a heart. I laughed when I saw it, somehow it struck me as being very funny.
"Eat my heart out...." She joked.
I waited until she settled herself on her back and then knelt between her legs. She was wet and smelled very sweet, like strawberries. She even tasted like strawberries. It was very weird to touch another vagina with my tongue, to feel the soft, rippled flesh and the warm, flowing juices.
"Ah yessss...." She moaned, "you really know your stuff...."
I was licking her like crazy and she was pushing her hips up and down like a small machine. Then, she turned herself around, pulled open my thighs, and drove her mouth up into my cunt. I could feel her working deep inside my vagina, slurping up the wetness that was there and virtually driving me crazy. It was too much for me. I had never experienced such a scene before and my nervous system wasn't ready for it.
I wanted to come, I felt the need for release but I couldn't seem to get there, or even get close. Finally, I pushed myself away from Eve's seething cunt and screamed. Later, Burt would sell this picture of ecstatic release. In the photo, which would sell for fifty dollars, I appear to be in the throes of the ultimate glory. But, in truth, I was suffering from the most unbelievable frustration imaginable.
After the completion of the session, as both Eve and I dressed in the same room, we spoke about our desires.
"You were great, honey...." She said, smiling.
"You weren't bad yourself...."
"I wouldn't mind doing something like that on our own sometime ... you know...."
Eve invited me to go up the coast, get a motel room and spend a few days with one another. I decided that maybe that would be a good idea, and she did promise to help me find my father when we got back into L.A. She said that she knew a lot of businessmen, insurance men and real estate brokers who would probably know where my father was.
The Seaside Motel in Malibu stood right over the sand, and at night the floodlights lit up the beach as though the moon was always full and shining. Eve and I took a room overlooking the water. We ordered a couple of bottles of gin and proceeded to get very drunk. By the time the sun had gone down, we were both pretty well smashed.
"Let's go swimming...."
Eve could hardly stand she was so drunk. But somehow, we made it down to the beach. We both stood on the sand wondering what to do next. I ripped off my clothes and ran naked into the water. Eve followed and we splashed around like little children in the crashing surf.
We didn't care if anyone saw us. We were happy to be there and I, especially, felt so free and wild that nothing would ever bother me again. It was a great feeling, one that I would never forget.
When we both came marching out of the water, dripping water and stark naked, we saw a tall lifeguard standing near where our clothes were thrown.
"You girls can't swim at night...."
"But we have...." I said, not bothering to cover my body. I enjoyed watching his eyes as they traveled down across my breasts and then to my shiny cunt.
"You should get dressed, young lady, it's against the law to swim in the nude!"
"Oh really? I thought everything was free here!"
"Some things are, but not the sea at night." I was drunk and really turned on by the swim.
I wanted some action. Eve just stood off to the side and watched. I think she was too drunk to really notice what was happening.
"Listen," I said, finally, "take off your trunks and I'll give you something...."
The guy was shocked. He looked around him to see if anyone was watching, then stripped off his suit. When he was naked, I walked up to him, held his penis and rubbed the head of it against my crack.
"My God," he said, holding my breasts and rubbing the nipples, "you really don't waste time, do you?"
"There isn't enough of it in the world for that...."
You could imagine the shock he felt when I knelt down in front of him and began licking his cock. I fondled his balls, then drew his staff between my lips. He pushed into my mouth, holding my head against his prick.
"Stop it," he said finally, "I want to ball you...."
It was funny, but everything I had done in the last few days had circumvented the proposition of fucking someone. I wanted to fuck, but then again the thought made me quiver. There was something I felt that I had to do before I would let a man's penis between my legs. I couldn't explain it, and had to go along with just the feeling I had about it.
"No," I replied, "none of that, it's dirty...."
"Dirty!" He shouted, holding me tightly by the shoulders, "here you are giving me a blow job and you say balling me is dirty!"
I was getting scared. I had come a little too far. I looked around for Eve. She was dressed, sitting on the sand watching the scene as though we were in some kind of movie.
"The young lady doesn't want to fuck you...." Her words were biting, they cut through the night air like a dagger.
"Who the Hell are you?" The guy was really getting upset, so upset that he lost his erection.
"You can't even keep it up during a little attack of flak, can you?" Eve was really cutting into him, and she knew just how to make him
"You're both bitches!!!"
"She gave you head, buster, you couldn't ask for much more than that!"
The guy pulled on his shorts, suddenly realizing that he was into a pretty weird scene. I couldn't have agreed with him more.
"Let's go to bed," Eve said finally after we watched the guy walk quickly away from us. I was sorry that it had turned out this way because I had kind of liked him. But it was too early for that, time would have to pass before I could, or would, really make love.
I couldn't stay with Eve for much longer. When we got back to town after our little vacation, she had tried to find a lead as to the whereabouts of my father. But she had come up empty handed. There was another element which drove me away from her, though, and that was her possessiveness. She didn't seem to understand what I was doing, or how I was going about doing it. So, I finally had to take my money and leave. It was the wrong road for me to be taking at that point in my life.
I got a room in a small apartment building in the Valley and went out looking for work. I tried everything and was turned down everywhere because I was too young and had little experience. Finally, I saw an ad in an underground newspaper advertising for young girls to work as masseuses.
The parlour was located in the middle of a pleasant shopping center. It didn't look too sordid or anything, so I went inside.
A woman in her twenties was sitting behind a desk. She looked me up and down just like Burt had when I walked through the door. Finally, she ask me what I wanted.
"I want to work here...."
"How old are you?"
"Eighteen," I lied.
"Ever work in a place like this before?"
"Yes," I lied again and went on to invent someplace in San Francisco that I had worked for years. She either believed me or thought that I was good-looking enough to handle the work and even bring in a few customers.
"Alright, come with me...."
She led me back through a long hallway into a small room. As we passed the closed doors of the massage booths, I could hear the laughter of men and women. I wondered how far along into the sexual thing I would be required to go if I worked here. I decided upon the limits. I would do anything except fuck, and I figured that that would be plenty.
"Get dressed and then come up front...." Martha, the redhead handed me an almost sheer toga. "And stay naked underneath ... it's good for public relations if you know what I mean."
I put on the sheer gown and stared at myself in the mirror. The tips of my breasts were plainly visible beneath the material, and the dark shadow of my pubic hair could be seen when the light hit it right. I thought that I looked pretty sexy in the thing and was actually pleased with myself. I was becoming very determined to be as sexy as I could, and this outfit certainly helped me in that goal.
I waited in the front office for over an hour before anyone came in. Martha chatted about things like her nails and her hairdo but never went into anything deeper. She was obviously used to girls with strange backgrounds working in her place and had thus developed the fine art of small talk as a way of avoiding embarrassing questions.
Finally, a young dude with short hair and a nervous manner came in and asked for a massage. He flipped a twenty dollar bill onto the table, lit a cigarette with nervous hands and turned towards me.
"Are you working?" He asked, looking me up and down and finally resting his eyes on my nipples that felt as though they were popping right through my toga.
"Yes, I think so."
"Good."
"Okay, Marlene," Martha said, shuffling papers, "Mr. Hobbs here will be yours. An hour with a bath before ... okay?"
I got up and took Mr. Hobbs' sweaty hand and led him into the last booth at the end of the hallway. As we walked down the dim row of booths, I could feel my breasts bouncing up and down and I could feel his eyes always on them.
"Alright," I said when we got inside the small room, "take off your clothes and I'll meet you in the bath."
He smiled and began undressing. I ran the water, making it as hot as I could and waited for him. Finally, he came through the door wearing a huge smile and nothing else. His penis was already hard as a rock, and he seemed to take great delight in my shocked expression.
"Mr. Hobbs! You're supposed to wear a towel when going from room to room!"
Why?"
"For modesty's sake, that's why!"
But he just laughed at me. I watched him lower himself into the tub. I lathered up a bar of soap and began soaping his back.
"You've got very nice hands, Marlene."
I thanked him for that. Then I moved around the front side and ran my hand down his stomach just to the point where his pubic hair started. His cock was kind of floating in the water and I wanted to avoid touching it. I wanted to make sure that I would get enough money out of this thing to make the venture worth my while. I didn't want to start anything.
"You scared of touching me?" He asked when I worked carefully around his balls and soaped instead his inner thighs.
"Nope ... just have to be careful and cautious...."
He took my hand and put it on his prick. I wrapped my fingers around his swollen prong, letting the heat penetrate, then stroked him once up and down and withdrew.
"That really felt nice, why did you stop?"
"Because...." And I smiled my best smile. I didn't know whether this dude was going to pay me anything or just sit around making strange passes.
"Get into the tub with me...."
"I can't...." And I let my hand graze the lower portion of his swollen nuts. He smiled, then closed his thighs around my hand and held it there.
"C'mon, Marlene ... you're very beautiful...."
"I'm sorry," I repeated, pulling my hand away with some difficulty, "but we're not allowed to do those kinds of things."
He put his hand on my leg then moved it up along my hip until he had the toga pulled all the way up above my breast.
"Incredible body ... absolutely...."
I let him touch my tit, and he worked at the nipple with a kind of feverish excitement that told me it had been a long time for him. I leaned over the tub and let him put his mouth to mv nipple, and he took the bud and clenched his teeth gently around it. I have to admit that he was very kind and easy going about the whole thing. He was just a horny dude who couldn't find himself anyone to do it with.
"Easy baby...." I moaned, finding myself getting turned on and knowing that it was highly unprofessional of me.
"There's a hundred dollar bill in my coat pocket ... go get it, then come into the tub with me...."
I debated with myself for a moment then decided that his was an offer I couldn't refuse. I would make that much money in this place in a week, and if I took his hundred, I would be able to quit and go look for my father. In the coat pocket, there was, indeed, a hundred dollar bill. I put the money into the lining of my jeans and went back into the bathroom.
"Everything okay?" He asked, smiling broadly.
"Just fine...." I stood above him and pulled the toga over my head. When I was naked, I walked to the edge of the tub and pushed myself out to him.
He reached around the back of me and pulled my buttocks towards him. My pubis was right there at his face, and he examined every inch of me there as if he had never seen a cunt before.
"You're gorgeous there...." He brought his hand up between my legs and let his fingers play at my moist lips. I was getting hot, and the heat from the bath combined with mine to make it almost unbearable.
He put his mouth to me and licked me up and down in my crack. I put one leg up on the side of the tub and held his hungry mouth against my wide open vagina.
"Ohhhh ... yes...." I moaned, really meaning it and really wanting him to go as far as he could into me with his tongue. He played at my clit for a while, twirling that erect little bud around and around. But I wanted him inside, I wanted him to pull my lips apart and dive deep inside my vagina where the warm juices now flowed.
"Eat me inside ... please...." I pulled myself open for him. He looked up at me and smiled, then put his lips to those lips which existed there between my legs. He stroked me wildly, and then pushed his tongue far up inside. I wanted him deeper, and stretched myself so that I was opening everything to his throbbing tongue.
He was driving me there, and I was feeling that same kind of frustration which I had felt during the shooting session at Burt's. It was driving me wild, sending chills and shivers throughout my body, making my breasts ache with desire and resulting in my head spinning with the total feeling of everything.
But as I had done at Burt's, I reached a point where nothing more could be tolerated. I didn't scream this time, but pulled myself away from his hungry mouth.
"Now," I said, seeing the disappointment in his eyes, "it's your turn. You've already done me in fine."
"Okay ... I'll just lay back here and let you play...."
He rec-lined in the tub. His pink cock lay back against his belly waiting to be taken.
"Alright," I whispered, rubbing his heated forehead and letting him play with my breasts, "now we'll see how you come...."
I washed him down again. But this time I did not stop where I had before. I brought my hand up between his thighs and held his balls lightly. He moaned.
"Quiet!" I warned, not wanting anyone to hear from the outside.
"I can't help it...." he smiled sheepishly.
"I'll try to be more careful...."
I knelt down over the edge of the tub and pulled his legs apart. I moved my tongue in slow, careful circles up the inside of his thighs. Then I stabbed at his balls, one at a time, and let my tongue make the journey up between them and onto the ridge that made its way up the underside of his meat.
"Oh yea...." He was writhing and twisting in the tub. I could feel him throbbing, his cock pulsating with the future explosion that would take place.
When I finally held his hardened, swollen staff against my lips he was on the verge of complete breakdown. His eyes were opening and closing as though he had lost all control.
"Just take it easy, Mr. Hobbs, everything will come out alright....".
I moved his bulbous head against my lips, barely opening them and allowing him to penetrate. Each time I passed his swollen member against the center of my mouth I would take a quick stab at it with my tongue.
It was the first time I had really given a blow job. Except for that dude on the beach, of course, I had never come this close before, As I swallowed his aching prick, that pink rod that seemed alive all by itself, I really realized just how much a girl who knew her stuff could turn a man on.
This thought became very prominent as I sucked and pulled on his penis. I began to realize that for some reason I was readying myself for something, some act that would allow me to use all of my newfound talents for something other than just pure sex. What that thing or adventure would be would become quite clear to me within the next few days.
I felt the throbbing in his prong as he began shooting his stuff into my mouth. I held him in side and swallowed it all. When he had finally finished, I licked him off gently and slowly.
"How was it?" I asked, drying him off with a small airhose that was supposedly part of the special treatment in the parlour.
"You really are a pro ... I don't think I've ever been made to come as good as that."
"Have you had that done by many other girls?" I was curious, interested to see if my preparation was paying off, if I was getting good at the only art which a woman can ever really master.
"Plenty. I was overseas for a while ... you know, in the army, and you have 'em all beat by a mile."
I was so happy to hear it, so contented with myself that I was able to compete. I knew I was good because I could feel it, I could sense the movements and rhythms of others.
"I can't pay you any more," He said, when I held his member and moved it to another erection.
"Don't worry about it," I said, jacking him off slowly and evenly, "I just wanted to thank you for the compliment."
He was shocked, but happily so. He fondled my breasts delicately while I held his penis outwards and played my little tune on it.
"Would you make love with me?"
"No." And that was that. I couldn't, and he saw that I was serious so he settled for my hand job. When he came for the second time in an hour, he seemed to shoot his load with more force than he had the first time. This he attributed later as we both dressed to my expertise.
"Marlene, could I see you a minute?" Martha stood in the doorway. She looked angry. I was still naked, and I had Mr. Hobbs' penis in my hand.
"Excuse me...."
"Listen baby," Martha began, "this place is right on the edge of the law, if you know what I mean. There are certain practices which we cannot tolerate here, especially being naked with a customer."
"But I thought...."
"You're not paid to think, Marlene, just to give massages and that's it!"
I was getting annoyed. I had kind of enjoyed my session with Mr. Hobbs, and I didn't like the restraints Martha was trying to put upon my work.
I quit that very minute and walked out the front door with the hundred dollars in my pocket from Mr. Hobbs. To my surprise, he was standing outside waiting for me.
"I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble."
"That's alright ... I'll get another job...."
But Mr. Hobbs was pretty persistent. He wanted me to come home with him. But I knew if I did that then I would be called upon to make love with him. And that was one thing which I couldn't do ... yet.
After about a half hour of debate over coffee and donuts, Mr. Hobbs finally gave up. He gave me his calling card after he left, he obviously wasn't as young as he looked. He worked as a private investigator.
"Oh Mr. Hobbs?"
He turned just as he was leaving the restaurant. I made a deal with him right then and there.
If he could help me find my father then I would spend one weekend with him in Big Sur. He was more than agreeable, and told me he would have the address and place of business of my father before that weekend. It was already Wednesday.
I waited in my apartment, amusing myself with the television shows, for twenty-four hours. I had begun to wonder if maybe I wasn't foolish in thinking that Mr. Hobbs would perform for me. But he did seem to really want me, and he did agree to do the thing for me. There was no reason to think that he wouldn't.
And then, about six o'clock the next morning, the phone rang. I leaped to answer it and almost broke my legs stumbling over the marble coffee table.
"Marlene," It was Hobbs, his voice was happy. I knew that he had succeeded. "I've found him. He works for Universal Insurance down on Wilshire. Suite 420 ... in their building. Today being Thursday, he should be coming to work in another hour or so. You want a ride down there?"
I told him that I would rather go alone. And then I told him that as soon as I had seen what I needed to see that I would call him. He didn't believe me.
"Listen," He said, "if you don't, don't get bugged. I'll be around, anyway. Even if it's for dinner."
I made up my mind that I would keep my end of the bargain.
The ride in the cab down to the financial section was the most nerve-racking ride I had ever taken. The freeways were jammed, and we crawled along for what seemed like hours. Finally, though, the Wilshire skyscrapers loomed above us and we were there. I paid the cabbie and walked out into the morning sun.
All around me people were bustling into the huge buildings. They were all well dressed and very efficient looking. I tried to imagine what my father would look like but couldn't.
The building which housed his offices was one of the tallest. Its glass windows reflected the morning brightness like a giant mirror. I entered the lobby, getting strange looks from the people, and took an elevator to the fourth floor.
At the end of the plush hallway was a fine, oak door with large golden lettering. There, at the top of the list, was my own father's name! My heart began beating wildly. Except for the certainty of Hobbs' investigation, this was the first real object that confirmed the existence of him. After those long years with my mother always denying the fact that he even was alive, it was very strange to be standing just outside his office where, during all the years that I had been growing up, he had been working.
"I'd like to see Mr. M., please...."
The receptionist was a very beautiful girl. She had large breasts that she barely kept covered with a see-through blouse. Her eyes were blue, and her hair long and well kept. Suddenly, I wished that I had taken my money and bought some clothes and gotten a beauty treatment before coming to see him.
"Who shall I say is calling?"
"Tell him it's his daughter...."
This shocked her. She looked me up and down like I was some kind of freak.
"Mr. M., there's a young lady out here who wants to see you. She claims to be your daughter!"
"What!!!" I could hear his voice bellowing through the office intercom. It was low-pitched, everything I had always thought it would be.
When we met each other, we both stood apart and just stared. He was very good-looking, and his hair had turned grey so he seemed really distinguished. I hadn't counted on him being as happy to see me as he was. It was an incredible reunion.
I hung around the office all day. Daddy sent me out with a couple of hundred dollars to get some clothes, and when I returned, everyone in the office congratulated me on my appearance. It was the happiest day of my life. And after work, we went out to a very fancy restaurant.
"Daddy," I asked when we had finished eating, "why did you leave mom?"
"I didn't."
"She's always said that...."
"Never mind what she had told you about me," he interrupted, "that was never true. She was having an affair with a friend of mine. When I found out about it, I was angry. I hit her. She turned around and sued me for assault and battery, got her father to handle the whole thing and basically threw me out of my own life...."
I wasn't surprised to hear any of this. I had always suspected that something strange had taken place between my mother and father. And I had always felt that maybe my mother had been the real heavy and not my father like she always claimed.
"I'm glad to see that you've grown up enough to seek out the truth. It must have been difficult for you...." He patted me on the head as though I was a little girl. I took his hand and held it against my stomach. His touch, the smell of his cologne, everything was exciting to me.
"It must have been harder for you." And when we walked out of the restaurant, he took my hand and held it as though I were his lady for the evening.
Daddy lived in a groovy penthouse apartment at the top of a twenty story building on Sunset. The inside was just as I had pictured it. There was a stereo, abstract paintings, a round bed and mirrors all over the place. He was obviously a real swinging bachelor.
"You can sleep in the bed, Marlene, I'll sleep here on the couch...."
The bed and the couch were in the same room. I undressed while he showered, didn't bother to put on my nightgown and climbed into bed. The cool sheets felt exciting against my naked skin, and I soon found myself trembling with nerves and tension.
"Well, well," He said, emerging from the shower wearing his silk robe, "you certainly have grown up!"
I held the sheets up to my neck. I wanted to drop them, to expose my aching breasts to him and let his eyes roam all over my body. But I couldn't, not yet anyway.
"Sleep well, Marlene ... tomorrow we'll do the town together, okay?"
"Alright, daddy. But aren't you going to even kiss me goodnight?"
"Of course ... of course...." As I watched him approach the bed I knew that my chance had come. Something' inside me was taking over and there was no more controlling it. I dropped the sheet to my waist and watched his eyes fall upon my hardened tits.
"Oooops! How clumsy of me!" I was slow to bring the sheet back up again.
"You always sleep like that?"
"Yes," I replied, trying to figure out what to do next, "I started back home when things got dull. It was always boring there."
"Well," he laughed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "I'll have to agree with you there."
I let the sheet fall again. "You don't mind, do you? I've become kind of a nudist lately ... it's much more natural."
"Uh, okay ... go ahead if you like...."
"Great!" And then I pushed all the covers off and jumped out of them. I was naked, and my vagina was already creaming with sexual excitement.
"You are daring, aren't you?"
"It's so much better this way. Do I have a nice body?"
I was feeling so spontaneous, so free of everything. It was like some kind of ultimate dream and I was in the center of it. Everything had directed itself towards this moment for such a long time, and now that it was here it was better than I had ever expected it to be.
As I lay back on the bed, I could feel my father's eyes traveling up and down my body. My nipples ached to be touched, and my cunt seethed with the warmth that had developed there.
"Marlene ... what are you doing?"
"I want you to make love with me."
"I can't...."
"Yes, you can...."
He was shaking. I took his hand and placed it on my breast. At first, his fingers wouldn't move, but soon he was rubbing my nipples, making them ache even more than they had been.
"Oh yes, daddy...." I moaned, writhing naked on the bed. He seemed to get more into what was happening, and his hands began moving quickly over my two mounds. I knew that I was getting him, that finally he was making it with me.
I felt inside his robe. His thighs were strong and firm. I moved my hand up between them and he spread his legs to allow me access. His balls hung down like two, large sacs. They were warm and big and he groaned when I moved one against the other. Then I took his penis and began moving my hand up and down his warm length.
"Oh, Marlene ... this just isn't right...." But his words were not making sense as compared to what we were both feeling. There was a tremendous surge happening between us, a shot of energy that was impossible to deny.
I pulled open his robe all the way and he helped me as I pulled it from his shoulders. I leaned over his stomach and took his penis into my mouth. I glided my lips over the entire surface of him, wetting him with my tongue as I went. He was long, thick and hard ... and his meat throbbed violently in my mouth.
"Oh yes, baby ... do it ... do it ... "
He had hold of both of my breasts and was working them hard. Finally, I pulled away from his cock and resumed my original position on the bed.
"Okay, daddy, now take me!"
He stroked my body, then rested the palm of his hand on my hot mound. I opened my legs, and his fingers worked their way inside my crack and down into my vagina.
It was an excruciating pain that I felt as he moved his hands back and forth along me. My lips down there seemed to throb and ache with an energy that was completely devoid of the rest of my body. It was as though my vagina was coming alive, was exploding into its own secret universe.
When he bent down between my legs I wasn't sure if I could take it. He kissed my legs, then my thighs, then pushed his mouth between my legs. I spread myself as wide as possible and he began licking me. His tongue worked fast and smoothly, he had obviously done this many times before.
"Ooooh ... daddy ... eat me ... eat me...." The words sounded good, they meant something to me because I realized that for years I had been dreaming about this moment.
The sound of him sucking on my cunt, taking my juices into his mouth made me even more excited. He tried to take everything, tried to suck all the wetness from between my legs into his mouth. And I wanted to give him everything I had.
Then he found my clit and pushed aside the skin around it to get to it ... He stabbed at it with his tongue, then drove the small erect bud around and around. By this time, I was arching myself high, thrusting my belly into his mouth with all the strength that remained to me.
"Fuck me ... put it inside me ... hurry!!!" I was screaming, loud enough for anyone who cared to to hear what I was ordering. Daddy pulled himself away from my vagina and we kissed long and hard. As our tongues melted into one another's, I could feel his hot staff resting against my stomach. It seemed so big and hot, so ready to invade my loins that I could not wait any longer. I reached down between our stomachs and held his cock in my hand. When he lifted himself, I directed the head of his steaming prong towards my hole. Gently, but with a great amount of pain, his thing pushed aside my tender : lips and invaded my vagina.
"Oh God ... Oh God...." I was in pain. Every inch he pushed himself into me gave me another shot of pain that I though would make me faint. The ultimate feeling was unbearable, as though my entire body was being split into two, separate halves.
When he finally had gotten himself in all the way, he stopped and rested. I could not move, but only lay there with his huge meat resting inside me.
"Why?" He asked me breathlessly.
"Because I never knew you. I wanted to know you the best way that two people can ever know one another...."
I was serious. The words seemed to come from deep inside. And then he smiled, kissed me and began pumping.
We started very slowly, and his prick moved like a giant snake in and out. Each time, I thrust myself up to meet him and soon our bellies were slapping hard against one another's.
"Ahhhh!!!!" I cried when I felt myself finally reach that place. My body began to shudder, the blood seemed to spurt from within me and everything that was me flew from within my frame and went outwards to reach him. I felt his prick throbbing wildly inside, the hot semen shooting towards the far reaches of my own vagina.
We had both come better than we would ever come again in our lives. As we rested afterwards, we both knew that there was no reason to try it again, that with another attempt we could only fail to reach the heights we had reached the first time.
The next morning I came out of the shower, wearing only a skimpy little towel wrapped around me, and saw her standing in the living room. She was tall, elegant and had fiery red hair. Daddy seemed real embarrassed about my being there.
"Marlene ... I'd like you to meet Elaine...."
The tall woman nodded then looked to daddy for an explanation. "She's my daughter...."
"Oh," said the woman, now smiling, but still somewhat uptight about the fact that I was naked beneath the towel.
I went over to daddy later, when Elaine had run down to pick up some food. "I'm leaving," I said.
"But Marlene ... !"
"Daddy, I've gotten what I came for, I know that you love me, and that you always will. If I stay here, I'll just complicate things for you...."
He gave me some money and we said good-bye. I was right and there was no denying that. We made a secret pact with each other that we would meet each year on the same night that we had first made love to each other. I could tell that he was serious about the agreement, I certainly was.
I called Hobbs from a phone booth downstairs and within an hour we would be speeding towards Big Sur. We would make love all weekend and later I would move into his apartment with him. I still live with him, and we are very happy with our two dogs and three cats.
But I know that in a year, when that time comes again, I will wander away for a few days. During that time, I will commit once again that most sinful of all actions ... I will make love with my own father.
SUMMARY
Marlene's case demonstrates how children who have been neglected the opportunity of one parent's love may go to extremes in seeking a way of claiming that love at a later time. With Marlene, she used the warnings and puritanical mind of her mother as a catalyst in her methods.
Marlene's mother forbid the young girl to participate in sex. Through the constant denial of the existence of her own husband, the mother set herself up as a woman who was almost capable of bearing a child without the presence of a man ... even during conception. This attitude or myth may have religious overtones, and an investigation into Marlene's mother's background would reveal that certain religious beliefs did, in fact, influence her own storytelling.
In her search for the truth, Marlene had to go against the warnings and words of her mother. In order to do this, she had to turn herself into a complete sexual experimentist. She had to try everything and anything, seeking always to get closer to the reality and farther away from the falsehoods of her mother.
Using the sexual permissiveness that exists all around us today, Marlene found it easy to break through the sexual mythology that had been established inside her by her mother. Once having broken through this barrier, then, she was able to confront her father and to face the truth there.
The sexual coupling between herself and her own father was the result of Marlene's genuine need to claim her love for him in the one way which her mother obviously could not have done. This was by using sex. Anything else would have been a direct replay of her mother's games, and would have failed as a communicative act. Instinctively, Marlene knew this, and this saved herself for her father.
The seduction of her father was made possible by her desperate need. Her father must have sensed this in his daughter and allowed himself to be seduced. Freudians, also, claim that there is little in the human arena of the erotic that matches the sensual attraction which a little girl provides for her own father. There is no doubt that this factor added much to the eventual lovemaking of the father and daughter in this case.
This case provides us with a sexual odyssey in which the ending is a happy one. Both people found themselves able to complete a cycle which had long ago been broken. And, after the completion of this cycle, they were both able to resume their normal lives with normal sexual partners.
Whether or not the promise to meet each year on the date of their original coupling will affect either party remains to be seen. After speaking with Marlene at length concerning the potential of such meetings, I came away with the feeling that she is a girl who knows exactly what she is doing. She knew that she would have to go to extremes to free herself from her past, and now she believes that these extremes will have to be met at least once a year in order to preserve their potency. Although Marlene had established strange and unorthodox rules for her own life, one must marvel at the way they have worked for her. It seems that she is one girl who is capable of handling herself in that twilight sky where normal sexual practices are non-existent and the forbidden acts of those with strange needs are practiced.