Chapter 4
North Beach was not the same as it had been during the days of Kerouac and Ginsberg. The beats were no longer there, the easy life of the Bohemians no longer dominating the scene. Instead, large buses with well kept tourists from somewhere in the middle-of America stopped in front of the bars and clubs, disposing of the quiet and apprehensive crowd. They all looked like plain and simple people, their eyes were wide as they glanced at the signs advertising naked girls and sexual arts performed live. They had paid well to get their guided tour through sin, and they knew that they could get back on the bus afterward and return home. Ben Grant watched them and felt kind of silly.
But his plan of action had been set firmly in his mind and there was no way that Ben Grant would divert himself from that route. As he walked along Broadway, one barker after another came out to greet him with words of invitation.
"Come on in, man" they would yell, their pinstriped suits adding a touch of the comical, "got more and better pussy in here than anywhere. Just for you, my friend, no cover...! How' bout that?"
Ben walked past two or three clubs until finally settling on one that advertised 'Thoroughly Naked Millie'. He walked through the red satin curtain and stood at the end of a long bar trying to focus his eyes.
The bar was crowded with men, couples and a few hookers. At the far end of the room, a large platform rose almost to the ceiling. Lit from beneath, thoroughly 'Naked Millie' danced vacantly and without interest.
Ben took a seat beneath the platform and ordered a double scotch from a waitress with large breasts that were hanging free from above her small skirt. She smiled at Ben, and he smiled back-determined to let himself go and enjoy everything around him.
Millie stood eight feet above him. She was a small blonde girl with Mammoth Breasts. Her hips were almost boyish and with her breasts she looked way out of proportion. But her little tuft of hair between her legs was shining and open. Ben immediately liked her cunt best of all-it was her one redeeming factor.
After three doubles, Ben got to his feet, smiled up at Millie and made his way to the front door. The waitress with the naked breasts stopped him halfway along the bar.
"Leaving so soon?" She asked, lowering her eyes modestly to her own breasts as though she were embarrassed. Ben liked her immediately. She had long, straight black hair that hung naturally down to her waist. Her eyes were a shining green, and she seemed intelligent and likeable. Among other things, her breasts were large and white, with perfectly shaped nipples topping each one. In the land of silicone, it was nice to look upon the real thing, no matter how imperfect they might be.
"Just have to keep moving" replied Ben, noticing that she wore a choker with a name tag hanging halfway down her chest. Her name was Anne.
I'm sorry about that ... come back anytime. I'm here 'till three...." And then she turned and made her way back to the Men sitting near the stage. Ben watched her ass shimmy beneath the short skirt and the fall of her breasts as she walked. He began to feel much better about things.
The outer office of the massage parlour was red. Everything from the desk to the windows were red, and subtle, Victorian red that aroused images of the turn of the century houses that had once dominated San Francisco.
"Can I do something for you?" Asked the small, red-haired receptionist.
"Yes...." replied Ben, looking about him and wondering just what it was that he had walked into.
"We have one-half hour for twenty and an hour for thirty...."
She waited. Her smile was set from years of smiling at men standing nervously before her desk. "I'll take the hour...." Ben said, fishing a twenty and ten from his wallet.
"Regular or nude?" She asked, waiting patiently for the shock to set in.
"Nude?"
"Yes, the masseuse will massage you with both of you nude ... or you can have it done with a toga...."
"How much more?"
"Another ten."
Ben fished out another ten. The girl smiled again, asked him a few questions about where he lived and what he did for a living. Then she led Ben through the red velvet curtains and down a red, wall-papered hallway. A small room with a medical table lay at the end, and she took Ben inside, "Take off your clothes ... the shower is at the end of the hall."
He stripped, wrapped the towel around him and walked out into the hallway and down to the shower. He soaped himself, feeling somewhat silly about standing in this strange place taking a shower all by himself. He thought about Lee, her long blonde hair, her fine body and her strange temperament. He wondered if ever he would be standing in a shower with her; if he would ever touch her breasts, and if she would ever touch him. But he called himself back. After all, he had come to this city for one purpose, and he either had to stick to that purpose or return to Seaside with the frustration of knowing that he had not seen it through.
He was still wet when he sat down on the table. He lit a cigarette and waited. There were sounds of women talking softly outside his room, and then finally a tall blonde girl entered.
"Hi! I'm Susie and I'll be your masseuse this evening. Is there anything I can get you?"
Ben stared at the girl. She was so cheerful, almost business-like and he immediately felt confined. "No" he replied, taking a long drag on his smoke, "Nothing that I can think of at the moment."
"An hour nude massage, right?"
"Right...."
She turned her back and pulled the thin material from her shoulders. She had a nice, long body. Her legs were smooth, like a little girls, and her back arched nicely to extend to a sexy, long neck. When she turned around, her small breasts accentuated her thinness and her tuft of blonde pubic hair seemed all out of alignment because it was so thick and bushy. "There! Now if you'll just lay on your stomach."
Ben rolled onto his stomach. She took the towel and threw it on the small bureau in the corner. She reached between his legs and spread them.
"You just visiting our city?" She asked as she kneaded his calves.
"Yup ... I'm from Seaside ... down South."
"That's nice...."
Everything was nice. This was a professional massage parlour and everything had to be nice. There couldn't be serious talk or serious emotion here because all was accomplished through a certain sense of the professional, or, one who divided themselves from their work. Ben had forgotten what it was like.
It had been almost fifteen years. He had been a roamer, hitchhiking out of Texas towards the west coast where he would become a movie actor ... His parents had divorced when he was three, so he wasn't leaving much behind. After a week on the road, he had found himself in Vegas. His luck was running high there and he won eight hundred dollars shooting craps. That money went into a cab fare and a drive through the dawn towards Myrna's Ranch.
It had looked like a used car lot at first. Garishly lit light bulbs strung across a dirt parking lot. In the center was a modern farmhouse with Hamm's signs in the window. A huge, Negro Madam had met him, introduced him to the line of waiting girls. The one he had chosen was blonde, pretty and very quiet. She had washed him off, stroking his penis with warm suds until he was hard, then had blown him. He dropped another twenty onto the table and she had taken off her clothes. She washed herself and lay down on the bed. "Come on, man...." She had said impatiently. Ben had fallen between her spread legs and she had guided him inside. Her cunt had been dry and tight. He had come almost instantly, feeling nothing inside. Quickly, she had risen and dressed than led him out through the lobby where a couple of tired looking men sat around drinking and smoking. It had been so unreal, so unsatisfying to the young traveler that he had broken out laughing as he stepped out and stood in the cool desert morning. He had vowed then that he would never pay for it again.
Susie was humming softly. Her soft, nimble hands were moving steadily up the inside of Ben's legs. She would lightly come up to his crouch, go underneath and touch his balls then pull out again. Each time, Ben flinched.
"You don't like that?" She asked cheerfully after he pulled his legs together out of pure instinct.
"It's okay...." he replied. But it wasn't She was playing with him, waiting for him to make an offer, some kind of move that would begin their 'real' session. Ben was not used to being played with. He had always prided himself on his ability to take a woman, drive her home and let her down with some amount of ability. Now, he felt helpless, half enjoying the feeling but yet unable to go all the way with
"Okay, Mr. Grant, roll over...." The way she said it, the song in her voice, made Ben remember the nurses who had taken care of him one night after a brawl. He had caught a few good ones in a bar after trying to pick up a girl. Unfortunately, the girl was a tease who enjoyed watching her mammoth husband beat up innocent prey. Ben had been one of his best victims. The nurses had treated him like a child. The night had not been one of the best of his life.
He rolled over. Susie stood above him and stared down at his erection. She ran her tongue across her upper lip as though she were going to devour him.
"You're very excited, Mr. Grant ... I thought I was supposed to relax you!" Her voice was still sing-song, but at least she was talking about the right things.
"Sorry about that" replied Ben, "but you ... I mean, standing there naked and everything, turned me on.
"I'm glad. If I didn't, I would have been worried."
And then she began on his chest. But her breathing had grown more strained, more husky. She massaged his flat stomach and then moved her fingers lightly across his flesh. His prick twitched and she moaned.
"No ... no! Mr. Grant. No touching!"
His hand was between her legs. Her thighs were warm and smooth. Grant left it there and smiled up at her. "How much?"
"Why, for what, Mr. Grant?"
"For a sixty-nine...."
Susie smiled, bent over and wrapped her lips around his cock. She pulled her mouth up the length than rest her head against it. "Fifty dollars...."
"Take it out of my wallet."
She fished out his billfold, pulled out a fifty and stuffed the bill into a small drawer in the bureau. "How do you want it?"
Ben thought about it a minute then decided he had better get himself on top. He had had enough of this happy woman playing with him.
"You lay down." Susie lowered herself onto the table and brought her thighs together. Ben stood above her, examining her as she looked up at him, watching, waiting and looking more vulnerable.
"Much better" He said as he began kissing her breasts. The nipples hardened as he clenched the firm little buds between his teeth. She began moaning, but there was nothing behind it. Ben decided to concentrate on the smooth skin and let the woman herself drift as she pleased.
She held his penis and moved her hand back and forth along the shaft. When he reached her cunt, she spread her legs and raised her hips.
Inside, she was wet enough. But there was still something about the way she moved that bothered him. It wasn't a smooth thrust, but more of a restrained, co-coordinated gesture. While he licked and sucked her pearl, Ben had to remind himself that she was just a whore, someone who took money hundreds of times a week to have the same thing done to her that he was doing now.
"Bring it here, baby, you're only getting half!" Ben swung himself around and lifted his leg over her head. She held his balls lightly, then guided his prick into her mouth. He had to admit that she did it very well. Her tongue knew all the right places and her lips were smooth as silk. He thought that she had a better mouth than a vagina and was glad he had settled for a blow job.
When he came, Susie took all of his steamy liquid into her mouth then licked him clean. Her tongue worked well, she knew how to make it an extension of herself and to dive and touch with definite refinement.
"You may take another shower if you like." She was pulling on her toga, getting ready to grab another customer and pay another pusher for a dose or maybe make another installment on her fiery sports car that was her opiate. Whatever it was that drove her, there was no doubt that was motivated by things other than love.
"No thanks ... I'll just be going."
She turned as she was about to leave. Ben thought maybe she would show some interest, perhaps invite him out after wards as he had already proposed. He was beginning to feel lonely, much more than horny. Instead, she asked him to hurry because Friday night was a big night and there were other customers. Ben dressed quickly, he had finished with the place and the place was finished with him. He bolted out the front door, nodding to the sweet little redhead who was signing up another customer. Once again, as he had done fifteen years earlier, Ben vowed that he would never pay for it again.
San Francisco had become very quiet during the hour he had spent in the massage parlour. The fog was moving in quickly, dampening everything beneath its heavy shroud. The lights of the city filtered through the dense mass, but there were no signs of life anywhere. Ben listened to his footsteps as he walked along Columbus Avenue. He had never felt so alone in his life. The trip was not working for him, instead, it was deepening the desire he had for Lee. Her image flooded his mind, and through the dense fog he saw only her.
The bar where thoroughly naked Mille' danced was still opened. Even though the rest of the city was asleep, or at least intwined within bedrooms and soft, warm beds, Broadway and the sale of sex was still in action. For those who had no one to make it with, it was like the last outpost of humanity left. Instinctively, Ben wandered into the dark place.
Anne saw him immediately. She glided to where he stood, her fine breasts bouncing and swaying with every movement. She seemed very happy.
"I was hoping you'd come back." She said, taking his hand and leading him to one of her tables.
The bar was filled with college students from Berkeley, a few businessmen and a few wanderers like Ben. Millie was no longer showing her wares on stage. Instead, there was a black girl, also naked, writhing on the uplifted floor. Her beaver shots got great applause from the men watching. But Ben was only interested in Annie.
"Where'd you go?" She asked cheerfully, sitting down a double scotch in front of him.
"Just walked ... I've never seen the city before. Thought I'd take it in."
"Beautiful when the fog rolls in, isn't it? I mean, makes you want to make love, if you know what I mean."
She waited for his reply. Her eyes were glistening, her breasts heaving slightly ... Ben began to feel like his old self again. There was the element of love between them, the realness of knowing the other person and something for the future.
"What time do you get out of here?"
"In an hour ... can we go eat?" She looked like a little girl. She had a way of pouting, of making her face totally innocent in appearance so that she would be irresistable. Ben agreed and settled back to get a little drunk before they left.
The small cafe was just around the block from Millie's. It was crowded now with bearded types, tall blond girls with short curly hairdos and a few long hairs. They all seemed to have the rear portion reserved especially for them. So Ben and Anne took a seat up front near the window. They ordered sandwiches and after looking the place over, began to talk.
Their conversation was light and friendly. Anne asked Ben about the town of Seaside and what he did there. Talking about the place made him feel like a small town boy in the big city for the first time. But Anne's enthusiasm and charm allowed him to enjoy himself. When their sandwiches had been eaten, there was a tricky moment in which neither knew exactly what to do.
"Come to my place" Anne said finally, holding Ben's hand and looking openly at him.
She lived near the wharf in a large, third floor apartment. Obviously, her stint as a barmaid paid well. The furnishings were Victorian, and the moment they stepped inside Ben felt as though he had been thrown back in time one hundred years.
"I like it like this" She said, moving to the kitchen to fix drinks, "it makes me feel even more evil than I am. I mean, that's half the fun of it, isn't it?"
Ben knew what she was saying but had never thought about it in those terms. He had never felt particularly evil about fucking, and enjoyed it for other reasons. But if this beautiful, large busted woman wanted to feel guilty about it, it was okay with him.
She returned with two large scotches. "I'll be right back." She ran into the bedroom, emerged a second later wearing a very long dress. Her hair hung long and she looked, indeed, like a Victorian Woman.
"It's just my fantasy, I guess" she said as she sat down next to Ben on the couch. "I was born at the wrong time. Should have made the old scene...."
"You're doing fine right here!"
"Yeah, working as a barmaid with my boobs hanging out for all the world to see. I don't know, but there's something a little shady about that." Her eyebrows furrowed a little as she thought about it. Ben stroked her leg. He could feel the warmth of her skin beneath the thin, silken fabric.
"It's the way things are these days" he said, not really knowing what, if anything, he should have said. Instead, he related to the feel of her legs and warmth which she exude just being close to him.
Anne was also responding to his touch. Her eyes were softening and her parting slightly. She watched his hand move higher and higher up her leg. When he reached the place where her panties should have been, she held him back. "I'm naked beneath this thing."
"Good"
He forced her hand away and pushed the material down between her thighs. She opened herself easily and slowly. He could feel the tight curls as he moved slowly up and down her crack.
Anne put her drink on the table and slid back on the couch. She pulled Ben down upon her and they kissed. Her mouth was sweeter than he could remember any woman's, and her tongue seemed lush and strong. She played with his tongue, then his teeth and finally gently bit his lower lip.
"It's been a long time...." She moaned, pushing her pelvis up against him.
"I can't believe that, Anne, not from a girl as beautiful as you!"
"I scare them away. They're all afraid of me. I must look hardened and worldly or something...." She was profoundly sad about herself and her self image. Obviously, she had wanted more out of life and had been a little too successful with what she had been doing to ever get it.
Ben kissed her lightly on the forehead. She closed her eyes and he blew warm air onto her lids while they fluttered gently. Ben loved this in women, and many times a woman would turn him off if her face did not react to his caresses. He had always believed that a woman with an expressive face was a woman who was capable of loving a man.
"I want you" She whispered as he stabbed gently inside her ear. Her body lifted to him, her warm, seeking flesh pulling him down into herself, opening itself for him and poising itself for his entry.
He reached down and pulled the hem of her dress upwards. He watched as her small, black traingle revealed itself then her breasts which he stared at all night. She was much more beautiful naked than she was half-dressed. He had thought that the costumes which the girls wore in the clubs always made them look much worse. He liked them naked and hot.
When she was naked, Ben stood up and removed his clothes. She watched his from half-closed eyes. Her eyes were alive though, and rested firmly on his erect cock. She reached out from the couch and held him firmly.
"I love to touch them." She sighed, feeling all parts of his flesh from his tip down to the ridge between his balls.
He moved between her legs and lowered himself gently upon her. She opened herself with a kind of softness and tenderness he had not known in a woman. There was almost a reluctance on her part to take him, to expose herself and her vagina to him. But behind this gentle kind of subtlety, Ben sensed an urgency and desire. One that would make her one of the best lays he had ever had.
"Ahhh ...!!!Nooooo...." She cried as he entered her. She was holding back, fearful of something inside. He began pumping her and she responded with slight movements of her pelvis. He tried to go easy, thinking that maybe she needed time, plenty of slow and easy movements before she would finally make it. But that was not the case either.
Her body gave in soft, every movement. But her mind and soul would not budge. She would not be dominated and Ben sensed it as he drove his prick deeper and deeper into her. Finally, he came. The shudder was evident and she squeezed his gently between her thighs. When he had finished, he pulled out and sat at the edge of the couch. His mind was wandering, his eyes focused somewhere behind his eyes. And then he heard her.
The sound was low, almost like a soothing roar. Anne's head was thrown back and her legs spread wide. Between her lush, white thighs, in that wet and warm land that he had just entered, her hand now roamed, She rubbed outside her vagina, stroking her clit and pumping slowly and evenly against her fingers.
Ben watched the action with a growing feeling of despair. He wondered if ever again a woman would be his. The ones he had back in Seaside were all waiting for him, but that was just the point. The challange was gone, there was no more conquest, no more separation of the roles. His lovemaking had become a routine thing which was becomming no more than a casual way of assesing time. Once again his mind conjured the image of Lee. She was the last frontier. She rubbed her wet skin hard now, her face contorting under the waves of her private orgasm. When she had finally died down, Anne smiled at Ben with a curious mixture of satisfaction and some secret contempt. He wondered where she had failed, or where he had failed, not quite knowing which it was.
"It's the only way for me ... I hope you didn't mind?"
It was plainly obvious that he did mind. He threw his clothes on and poured himself another drink. Anne, still naked and sprawled on the couch watched him with growing amusement.
"Sex is your thing, right? I mean, without you, women would have a fucking hard time getting off, right? without you Women would have fucking hard time getting off, right? Well, that may be the way for those little bitches down in that hole of a place you call Seaside, but here in the big City we've found other, more practical ways of getting it together!" She shouted angrily. There was her real frustration eating at her combined with the knowledge and the near belief of her contention. She waited anxiously for Ben to do something.
He knew what was needed but no longer had the strength. She was a bitch, knew it of herself, and desperately wanted someone to punish her for it. She would never allow a man to give her pleasure until he was able to provide the proper amount of justice for whatever crime she felt she was committing. Ben smiled at his thought then turned to her.
He had to turn away from her pleading eyes. He actually pitied her. But that sense of feeling could not hold him there. He grabbed his coat, opened the front door and looked out into the empty hallway. He realized what a miserable existence she must have been leading.
"If you ever want to try for real, Anne, you know where to find me."
"Get out, you Bastard!"
He closed the door and left. He had seen enough, had failed enough for one day, or week, or lifetime even. It was time to go back to what he did second best, putting out fires. At least there the fire held itself within certain laws. They were rules that both man and nature had to respect, and they would never be changed, no matter how strange and unorthodox the world became.