Chapter 5

Teen-agers And Oral Sex

In this new era, the relationships between men and women have changed, though the War of the Sexes rages still. We must find some way to a lasting peace.

A wife finds both home and a career too much to manage, though home alone is not enough to give her a real sense of contributing. In the maternity hospital, she and her baby are separated. An anesthetized mother has to learn gradually to accept her baby, if she ever does. Of its actual birth, she is deeply unconscious. All these factors contribute to a new kind of family life.

As the gravity of the world situation deepens, the protective response to the young weakens. Society neglects certain problems almost completely.

It is, perhaps, too early to predict the results. Possibly, since Puritanism has broken down, something else will be unleashed which will be hard to control.

We live in a time of much leisure. And leisure breeds boredom. Sex has come to mean more than begetting babies. It is a pastime used to relieve boredom, and it has become uninhibited fun.

And it has torn down the natural developing stages of children. Boys and girls are taught to go steady before they are dry behind the ears. In many public school systems, junior high pupils are taught to vie with their older brothers and sisters. They date steady; they have their Proms and their drinking parties. Steady dating is a means of companionship and freedom from the uncertainties of an empty Saturday night. But it also causes early marriages, and a new pattern of sex relationships.

Adolescents are invariably much more sexually active than their parents are aware of. Because of parental disapproval and taboos, the average teen-ager seeks sexual outlet in secret. As a consequence, the extent of such practices has been largely veiled from public view.

The sex life of this younger generation usually starts with masturbation. Boys have nocturnal dreams of girls, of petting, kissing, love-making. The adolescent girl, according to Doctor Kinsey, often dreams of ardent love-making with some man of her acquaintance, or even with someone who is an entire stranger to her waking thoughts. Often, these dreams end with the fantasy of sexual intercourse, and even result in a complete sexual orgasm.

Necking and making out are terms used interchangeably by teen-agers, but when distinctions are made, they usually assign necking to love-making above the neck. Making out means sexual stimulation below the navel.

Necking, of course, often leads to making out. Orgasm is often reached by one form or another of manipulation of the genitals for both partners; by mouth contact to breasts, finger-fucking, oral contact by girl to the boy's penis, oral contact by the boy to the girl's vagina. Orgasm during this play is much more frequent in the boy than in the girl.

Oral contact is the preferred way. The boy-likes for the girl to go down on him, and the girl-likes mouth stimulation, knowing it will both protect her virginity and keep her from getting pregnant. Girls like oral intercourse because it affords a broad sexual outlet without the penalties of premarital intercourse, providing, of course, they restrain from complete intercourse. It relieves them of the worry of possible pregnancy and of venereal diseases.

Sexual release for teen-age boys comes easier than for girls. Most sex play sessions are over when the boy achieves climax. Thus, in a great many cases, the girl does not experience orgasm.

Doctor L. M. Terman found that premarital relations among young people were increasing steadily and predicted that premarital intercourse would soon become universal. Many college men expressed their preference for girls with sexual experience as marriage partners.

Most boys don't care whether their future wives are virgins, or not. When interviewed, on boy shrugged and said, "They probably won't be, anyhow. It doesn't matter. What the hell! We guys go around laying every girl we go with, and some guy's going to marry them. So it's obvious that right now, some guy's laying the broad we're going to marry!"

Another boy said, "I'd rather have a wife who's had some experience, who knows how to do different things. Me? I like eating pussy and getting sucked."

Most of the boys interviewed had experienced oral love from the girls, and over sixty per cent said they preferred it.

The Institute of Family Relations reports the typical case of Evie, a young girl who came to them half out her mind for fear she was pregnant.

Said Evie, "I don't know what's the matter with me. Tom and I get to playing around, doing it the oral way, because it's safe. But before I know it, Tom's stuck it in me. There's no pleasure for me, after the other. I hate myself at the time I'm letting him fuck me, and afterwards, I worry. Each time, I swear I won't do it that way again. But Tom coaxes, and I get carried away."

Sometimes, a boy reaches orgasm while rubbing against the girl's body, both of them fully clothed. Relatively few girls have strong objections to this practice since it 'costs' them nothing, leaving their virginity intact, and their dates (and sometimes themselves) sexually satisfied.

Many boys find this unsatisfactory, however, and upon being stimulated, urge their dates either to masturbate them or go down on them to make them climax. In some cases, the party will terminate in mutual masturbation, or in oral contact.

Whenever teen-agers get together, some form of sex may be the result. There seems to be a casual indifference with many young people to what those about them say or see regarding their activities in public. It is difficult to evaluate what this all means. Petting in all its forms is, perhaps, being utilized more and more as a sublimation.

Says Doctor Douglas A. Thorn: "Petting, and especially oral stimulation, is now practiced more generally among those who are considered 'nice' people. It has become a pastime, and perhaps less well-defined, as a step leading to matrimony."

Irene was caught by the police in a parked car with a forty-three-year-old married man. She hadn't quite reached her fifteenth birthday, but the lipstick, the hair-do, the dress made her appear closer to twenty. She acted like a tough little floozy when the police matron questioned her.

"Hell, yes, I'd been blowing him!" she admitted boldly. "And he'd been mouthing me. Everything was all right. And then he fucked it to me-"

She broke down in tears when the matron told her she was pregnant and also had VD.

Ever since she was born, her father had been able to obtain work only on a part-time basis. To escape a nagging wife, he had joined the Army and volunteered for overseas duty. Irene's mother dated men night after night, and lived in much more comfort than an army allowance would permit. At twelve, Irene was pretty much on her own. And worldly wise. She had often heard her mother and various men friends going through deviate acts. At fourteen, a girl friend showed her how to earn pretty things by going with men for sex. It wasn't too long until she learned to earn big money.

Irene's going down on boys and men had non-sexual motives. It was not a means to sexual release, but a desire for pretty things.

With the high school boys, she often had sex in parked cars. Older men usually suggested a motel, where they could have a cheap but comfortable sex session.

An unusual case occurred in Los Angeles when a sixteen-year-old boy was seduced by a thirty-year-old woman a few minutes after they'd met at a family gathering. Both left the group under the pretense of doing some shopping at a nearby store, and didn't return.

They were found three days later in a tourist motel. When the police caught up with them, the woman declared, "He's more of a man than most guys my age!"

Probing further, the police discovered that the woman preferred oral intercourse and that the young boy never gave up on her. "Why, he could come time after time!" she exclaimed, pleased.

Commenting on the case, one official declared: "Such housewife seductions of gangling youths are common features of our present-day society and its sexual habits. Probably every city block has one or more such affairs."

Doctor Kinsey reported that among young men he studied, cases of teen-age, and even pre-adolescent, boys who had some kind of sex with older, married women was not uncommon.

Adolescent boys are easy prey for older, frustrated women because such an encounter makes the young boy feel like a man of the world, older than his years. And he can be enticed into almost any kind of sexual play. He also thinks the older woman makes a better sexual partner because she is more experienced than a younger girl.

Girls, too, often prefer older men, and for about the same reasons. These older men make them feel important. Most authorities agree that the motive which drives teen-age girls into sexual relations with older men is basically an unsound father-daughter relationship. Sometimes it is a need for a father substitute, to replace a father who has died, or has freed himself somehow from the home scene.

Young girls are flattered by the attentions of older men because it creates in them a sense of maturity. "Girls are often more obedient to their fathers," says Doctor David L. Caldwell, "than to their mothers. Hence, young women have more respect for older males and often find themselves unexpectedly sexually involved. Elderly males find young females more attractive and pliable of will than they do older females."

Our morals are in a state of transition. In the early stages of American life, morality was controlled very strictly by the group. Offenders were punished harshly. Intolerance and sternness on the part of the 'righteous' were very marked. Long after the Puritan spirit ceased to exert as tight a hold upon the masses, moral standards were still determined largely by the community, and the narrow conventions of the small American town today are reminiscent of New England in 1700.

As long as America remained basically small-town ish, this Puritan spirit prevailed. It endowed many Americans with a crusading zeal. Scores of supposedly worthwhile causes prohibition, elimination of movies and baseball on Sunday, making the world safe for democracy were to be advocated. The principle behind many of these endeavors was that the world had to be saved, whether it wanted to be saved, or not.

In the nineteenth century, Puritanism, combined with a code of business morality and respectability, became the main goal of middle-class society. To be respectable, meant that one's actions were approved by the community, that one's ideas were neither eccentric, irrational, nor immoral. The world was govered by immutable laws and by a god as rational and respectable as Bostonian society.

The nineteenth century fought again and again to preserve traditional values. Woman were regarded as fragile creatures, divinely appointed to take care to the home, rear children, and remain subject to their husbands. Men were surprised, and even shocked, when woman finally showed she had a mind of her own on specific issues. It had been long believed that woman was intellectually inferior to man.

True, this period had its rebels, like Thoreau, who deliberately gave up the advantages of a machine civilization and retired to Walden to cultivate a spirit of simplicity. He attacked the gospel of wealth, refused to rush to California for gold and wealth. He felt that man needed very little wealth to gain real happiness, stressing that the life of the spirit was more important than the material goods which most people treasured so highly.

Thoreau was the forerunner of the reaction against middle-class materialism which was to develop in certain sections of twentieth-century American society.

Many forces made themselves felt after Thoreau, resulting in a "new morality". There was a renewed interest and emphasis upon the "cult of sex."

Pleasure became the goal of existence. Epicurus long ago said that the greatest pleasures were those of the mind, but the average American did not agree. He was quite sure that the greatest pleasures were those of the senses. To feel, to experience, to eat hugely, to love, to hate these were the emotions that dominated the American soul. It was a vengeance taken on nineteenth-century Victorianism. And the natural result was skepticism regarding all moral ideals, along with a glorification of the body.

Two World Wars took a toll both in terms of morals and juvenile delinquency. Today, fear of the draft creates much waywardness and sexual freedom

The decline of tradition, the flux of moral ideals, uncertainty regarding the future are all parts of the contemporary American scene. Problems of personal and social morality are intertwined. Issues of national and international significance must be faced honestly. We are forced to see ourselves objectively, without praise or blame.

And there is no better place to start than in the American home. In looking at some portraits of the American family, let us remember that there is always a vast gap between the ideal and actuality, and it is this gap which often creates a dualism in our moral attitudes.

Ken D. fell for the young girl, Donna H., who had moved in next door. He was aware of the charms nature had lavished upon her, and he wondered what whim of fate had brought him to the kitchen window. He was in pajama bottoms and barefooted. His wife and he had retired for the night, but he'd wanted a glass of water.

The house next door was separated from Ken's place only by the driveway and a low hedge. Either out of adolescent exhibitionism, or because she simply didn't care, Donna had neglected to close the bathroom curtains when she went to take a shower.

The impact of her naked body on Ken was devastating, and he was rooted to the spot. He knew the girl had arrived that afternoon to spend the summer with her aunt. Ken understood that her parents were divorced, and Donna lived among relatives. He had not yet met the girl, and here he was seeing her in the nude.

Ken was a law-abiding citizen, with a sense of morals that told him to turn away. But he found that impossible. The girl's smooth, young, naked back was toward him. She reached for a towel and bent over to dry her legs. Then she straightened and turned.

Ken felt himself tremble from head to foot.

She slipped into a robe, opened the bathroom door, switched off the light, and left.

For several minutes, Ken continued to stare at the black square of the bathroom window, his senses alert and tingling, the scene of a moment ago still vivid in his mind.

Then he let out his breath, drew a glass of water, swallowed it quickly, and went out on the back steps. He heard the frenzy of late traffic on the highway only a few blocks away.

He wondered what was really disturbing him. He was a married man in his mid-thirties. All right, he'd had a glimpse of a naked seventeen-year-old girl. Why should he have been so shaken up over that?

Any man with a single male hormone left would have felt a jolt over seeing Donna in the nude. But Ken's reactions had been far too strong. Why? He brooded.

Maybe Donna had reminded him in one acute moment of the beauty and excitement of youth, of all the glittering promises life held but seldom kept. He had been reminded that his own youth was gone. He missed the young way of life.

At the core of his restlessness, Ken finally admitted, was a marriage that had long ago gone stale. It was not something he liked to think about. And, as a rule, he pushed it back out of his conscious mind.

But other men his age were content with things as they were, comfortable in their marriages. They talked fondly about their children and joked about their wives in ways that hinted at deep affection.

Maybe, if he and his wife had had children ... They had tried often enough. She wasn't a frigid wife.

The girl, Donna, in all her youthful splendor, had reminded Ken of those first years with his wife, Lois, when the world had been young. She'd had a lovely body, like Donna's. Not that she'd become a hag now. She was still a very attractive woman, but they had lost contact with each other, and their relationship had become meaningless. They stayed together out of inertia, he supposed. Ken was devoted to his business, and his wife had the home and her community projects. They both pretended that nothing was missing and studiously avoided ever putting into words that their marriage had gone flat.

It was a dangerous situation.

Ken felt thoroughly frustrated as he went back into the house and locked up for the night. He knew that retiring, for his wife, included a nightly ritual involving creams, curlers, and other unromantic accessories.

He stepped into the bedroom and caught his image in the mirror. He still had a flat belly, and his hairline had not receded. He didn't look old, he assured himself.

Pushing away thoughts of the girl, Ken fluffed his pillow and concentrated on some business problem. He'd kept his business relatively small, and safe. He didn't want to risk trying for something bigger.

His train of thought was interrupted by his wife's voice. She'd gone to the bathroom, and when she came back, Ken observed that she still had quite a figure. He felt the stirrings of desire.

She switched off the bed lamp, and the springs sighed. Ken listened until he thought she'd gone to sleep.

But then she said, "Ken-" And her hand slipped under the waistband of his pajamas. Sexual relations between them had long ago become mechanical, but now Ken was glad her juices were simmering. The memory of the neighbor girl had raised his temperature.

He turned to his wife, and she began breathing hard. Her body pressed warmly to his. His palms slid down and caressed her flanks. She moaned and squirmed against him. Then she panted, "Ken, wait a minute." She pulled her nightgown off, then clamped her arms and legs about him

Ken felt a tremor shake his body. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she inched up to him.

"Oh, Ken," she begged, "do it to me!"

He penetrated her, and she gasped loudly.

He kissed her, and they clung to each other, and Ken felt his cock growing bigger inside her. He wanted to take it out of her too-large pussy and put it into her mouth.

He asked, "Will you suck it? I want to put it in your mouth."

"Oh, Ken!" she said noncommittally.

He stroked her pussy with his hand and said, "You've gotten pretty big, honey. I don't get much out of it."

"I don't feel too much, either," she said. She was playing with his cock. It was rock-hard, and he wanted so much to slip it into her mouth, have her use her tongue on it, cram it deep.

"Will you suck it, baby."

"No, Ken, I can't."

They kissed and played, and finally Ken moved on top of her, and she guided his cock again into her vagina. He felt little sensation. He was big, but not big enough to hurt or go deep. And only when he pressed tight could he make her feel a sparkle from her nudged clitoris.

He moved in and out, and asked, "Feel good?"

"Not much," she said.

He stopped. "A pussy doesn't have a mouth and tongue, and throat muscles. It's nothing."

He moved off her, kissed her belly. His lips drifted lower, towards her cunt. His tongue licked along her sensitive pussy lips, and she trembled slightly. "I'll move around so you can suck me," he said.

In a moment, they were in a sixty-nine position. He had his hard cock in her mouth, and she was tonguing the underside of his glans, playing with his testicles with her free hand, massaging them, warming them.

He had his head deep between her opened thighs. His tongue was in her, exploring, always returning to her expanded, swollen clitoris.

He raised up a moment. "It's damned good!" he said.

It was love given and received in as intimate way as possible. Mouth to cock, pussy to mouth. And it demanded that minds be free of prudery and sex shame.

She worked her mouth tightly over his cock, and he quivered as she lashed its head with her tongue.

What he was doing to her was incredible. She was getting her clitoris sucked voraciously. His lips were clamped over it, and his tongue was frictioning its ultra-sensitive tip.

She moaned and spasmed into a blinding orgasm. He plunged his cock deeper into her mouth, into her throat. He shuddered and spurted his semen into her throat. He felt her swallow, and he spurted more, and more.

Finally, when he had been drained, his wife released his wilting cock from her mouth. She licked it clean of its sheen of semen as he lay on his back, his arms spread wide, his eyes closed. In that blurred moment of exquisite culmination, he'd had an image of the young neighbor girl, her body beaded and glistening, as she'd stepped from the shower.

"It was so good-good," he breathed.

"Umm."

"Let's try it again pretty soon," he said.

She opened her mouth hungrily for his cock. She sucked it, and it began to grow in her mouth. It gave Ken a wonderful feeling.

He caressed her pussy lazily with his hand and found a new flowing of slipperiness. He eeled a finger into her and found her clitoris. She took her mouth from his cock long enough to ask, "Suck my nipples?"

He pushed her onto her back and took one of her long, fat nipples and sucked, sucked. Then the other one.

She squirmed and sighed. His finger was still in her, sliding on her clitoris. She writhed in ecstasy.

Now, she was back on his hard cock, sucking and licking it. He closed his eyes as she slid her wet lips over its velvet head, down its hard column, and greedily worked her mouth and tongue to build up his pleasure, to, once more, draw out his spurts of semen.

It took him longer to come the second time, but he enjoyed every moment of it. She sucked at him like an infant at its mother's breast. She was sucking love from him by giving him such exquisite pleasure.

He moaned as he came, and she helped him with her tongue and mouth, as if she were earning a place once more in his life, as if she were needed.

Later, Ken vowed that in that one night of oral love their marriage was revived.

Habit and practice, he'd learned, were the two words that helped shape the biggest part of man's behavior. In the process of not getting much satisfaction from his wife, he'd become sex-shy. But he'd learned, once more, to become confident and self-assured. There is no self-assured man who could not have been shy, if circumstances had been wrong.

Ken learned to get into the habit of doing the best he could with what nature gave him.