Chapter 4

The Willing Ladies

Dina S. was sitting in the psychiatrist's office. She jumped when the phone rang.

When Doctor M. had finished with the call, he asked, "Are you always nervous?"

She stiffened and answered indignantly that she was not at all nervous, that she loved speed and danger and wasn't afraid of heights. "It's only that unexpected noises upset me," she said.

"You didn't expect the telephone to ring?"

She looked black and remained silent with so polite an air that the doctor knew he was being regarded as a fool.

Dina was twenty-eight and unmarried. She had been referred to Doctor M. by her physician, whom she had pestered with demands for advice about everything in her life. She was constantly giving up jobs and moving to new locations. Several times, she'd been engaged to be married, but she had broken the engagement at the last moment.

She was a small, dainty, dark-eyed person, not beautiful but with a great deal of poise and charm. She had pointed features that sometimes reminded one of a cat. Her gentle, purring voice added to the impression.

"I hope you'll forgive me for not beating around the bush," she started out, talking quickly. "I'm a forthright person. I'm twenty-eight, and I want to get married because well, a woman should. It's normal, isn't it?"

"So?"

"I can't seem to find the right man, and frankly, it worries me. I hope I don't shock you, but I've had a dozen lovers and was engaged to four of them. Actually, I could have married any one of them, but none were right for me."

"You're looking for something in men you can't find?" the psychiatrist asked.

She had been folding the pleats in her skirt, and now she gave the material a final pat and looked at him. She shook her head emphatically. "Oh, no, it's not that! But as soon as I really get to know a man, I lose interest."

"I see. So you break their hearts?"

She looked startled. "Not me! I never broke a man's heart in my life!"

"Weren't any of those men in love with you?"

"I I don't know what you mean."

"Then they deserted you!"

"No!" she said indignantly. Then, as if she had never before considered this, she added, "Some of them bothered me for a long time afterward. A few still do. But I know they only want to get me in bed." She gave the doctor a quick look, before she smiled sweetly and lowered her head. "You see, I'm rather good on the sheets," she bragged.

"What do you mean by that?"

She fluttered her eyelashes coyly. "If youll forgive me for saying so, my lovers say I'm absolutely marvelous. I have no inhibitions. I give them anything they want."

"Do you enjoy yourself?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Do you have an orgasm?"

She beamed. "Yes!" Then she went on hurriedly, as if to stop the doctor's questioning. "And then and it's the same with my jobs I lose interest. I don't know why."

"What is your line of work?"

"I'm a beauty operator. At present, I own my own shop." She went on to say that each change, each new job, was a challenge. And then something would happen. The boss would try to get too intimate. Or she'd become bored and move on.

"You prefer to be independent."

"What?"

"Work for yourself, I mean."

"Yes."

"You don't like being a man's servant?"

"Oh, no, you got me wrong! I don't feel I'm anybody's servant. And I love to work for somebody, especially a man, so long as he appreciates what I'm doing. It's when he becomes indifferent, treats me like a robot and not a human being, that I up and move on."

"What type of boss have you liked best?"

She answered without hesitation. "The best boss I ever had was blind. He relied on me for everything. I stayed with him for almost a year."

"And why did you leave?"

"He turned out like all the rest. He finally got lecherous," she finished indignantly.

"What kind of boss did you like the least?"

She promptly told him of a recent boss who didn't mix business with pleasure. She had become furious with him and had walked out. She was silent a moment, then exploded, "They're all the same! Men!"

"Except doctors?" the psychiatrist asked.

She gave him a quick glance, and their eyes met.

"Except doctors, of course," she agreed. "I adore doctors."

"Why?"

She considered, her head to one side, her eyes wide as a child's. "I don't know because they give comfort, I suppose."

"You like that?"

"Oh, yes! Doctors remind me of my wonderful daddy. He used to comfort me at nights, after my mother had punished me, lots of times when it wasn't my fault!"

She said she'd been "Daddy's Girl" but that he was so seldom at home because he was a traveling salesman. She blinked as if trying to hold back the tears. "My mother never loved me," she managed in a hushed, tragic tone. Then she said warmly, "But my daddy did! Mother never understood me, but Daddy did. They were so different it was no wonder they didn't get along. They used to quarrel a lot."

"Is your mother still alive?"

"No. She died when I was seventeen. I was going to be married, but I felt so terrible about her death, I called the wedding off." Then she added quickly, "I know I had no cause to love my mother, but all the same, I felt awful about her death."

"Was your father at home at the time?"

"I sent for him right away," she said. "And I guess maybe he's why I couldn't go through with the marriage. He was wild with grief, and he sort of clung to me." She fell silent.

It was a long time before she spoke again. At last, she said, "I was terribly fond of my father."

"And is he also dead?"

"No, he's still alive. After a time, he married again." Her voice hardened. "I haven't forgiven him for that! I gave up a chance for marriage to be with him, and then he deserted me!"

Is this, Doctor M. wondered, the clue to why she turns men down, because of her father? The only man she ever really wanted, turned her down!

She went on telling about the numerous boy friends she'd had after that.

"Were you engaged to any of them?" Doctor M. asked.

"Oh, yes!" Avoiding the doctor's eyes, she asked, "Has my physician said anything about my present difficulty?"

Doctor M. asked simply, "What is it?"

"It's a man again," she said, looking as if she would burst into tears. "I'm in such a mess! I've gone to pieces!" Suddenly, she straightened up, squared her shoulders, and began brushing down her dress. She said that her present boy friend was married and middle-aged. "His wife's a shrew, and I guess I felt sorry for him. He's not even much good as a lover, but, somehow, I want to marry him."

"Why?"

She didn't know.

After much probing, the psychiatrist decided it was because he'd clung to her, looked to her for sympathy over his poor home life.

"Everything was fine," she said, "until he learned I wanted to marry him. Then trouble started."

She told of violent scenes between them, then sighed melodramatically. "I want so much to settle down and have a normal life. But I seem to be fated! The men I can have, I don't want. The ones I really want, I can't have!" Her voice broke, and she was actually weeping.

"The ones you can't have?" the psychiatrist repeated. "The ones like your daddy?"

She smiled ruefully. "Silly, isn't it?"

"No, not at all. Don't you see? Your father has been your protection against marriage."

She seemed astonished. "I'm sorry, but-"

He broke in. "Why are you always sorry?"

"I don't know. I think it's a habit I got into with my mother. She made me so nervous."

After a moment of silence, she went on, "I keep having terrible dreams about finding my mother in a pool of blood. What does that mean?"

"It depends."

She gave the psychiatrist a sharp, secretive look. "Depends on what."

"On you," he said.

After a moment, she admitted that it was sometimes her father who was dead in her dream. Then she would be overcome with horror and wake up in a terribly nervous state.

Doctor M. inquired if she dreamed much about anything else.

She smiled demurely and cast her eyes down. "Yes. Sometimes I have very pleasant dreams erotic dreams."

"Sex dreams? Tell me something about them."

She stared at him blankly for a moment, then laughed. "Well, they're mostly about my father. He comes and does things to me like he used to do."

"What does he do?"

"He puts his mouth over my private organ-" When she had finished, it was the doctor's turn to be silent. She waited a while, then asked, "When can I start my treatments, Doctor?"

Doctor M. knew that, in the future, there would be times when she would be a very difficult patient, but he went ahead and gave her an appointment anyway.

He watched her go out of his office, a charming woman, pursuing the unattainable through an endless succession of situations, started off by her father.

She'd found herself caught in the web of her own magic spells.

Older boys and men find little girls of four or five definitely female and attractive, and that attractiveness must be masked and guarded just as the male eye must be diverted from the attractiveness of his older sisters and mother.

A small girl, sweet and entrancing, is sufficiently a temptation to a grown man so that society usually has devices to protect her, to teach her not to exhibit her sex.

A small boy, on the other hand, however much his mother may treat him as a male, is less a temptation to her femininity than an extension of her maternity, while in the boy himself strong protections against his attraction to his mother have already been built. Mother-son incest is the rarest form of incest in the world, says Margaret Mead. But the groundwork for the greater attractiveness of the young female to the older male, of the older male to the young female, is laid down firmly in early childhood.

Boys reach a crisis which is technically called The Oedipus Complex, named for the Greek myth of Oedipus, who killed his father and married his mother. This is the period when the boy must give up his passion for his mother and his rivalry with his father, and the girl must give up her attachment for her father and rivalry with her mother. Normally, each must accept the own-sex parent as in some way a model for his or her future behavior, at the same time accepting a postponement of full sex satisfaction, and this includes a recognition of the parents belonging to each other, and not to the children.

When this goes wrong, trouble ensues.

Let us. continue the case of Dina S. As Doctor M. suspected, she soon made him a substitute for her father, an object for her sex drives.

A couple of days later, she breezed into his office looking as if she didn't have a care in the world. He motioned to a chair and told her to sit down. He fished out a pack of cigarettes and shook two down. He offered her one and put the other between his lips.

"Thanks," she said. She took the pack and put it back in his shirt pocket, running her hand down his body, her wrist lying lightly against his penis. In a moment she joggled his cock, and he felt it getting stronger, but he pretended indifference. The doctor started talking about her problem, but she just grinned, as if she knew he was wise to her. By now, he had a pretty good hard-on.

She said, "I think I've turned you on!" Rubbing her cigarette out, she lifted her left hand up and rubbed his cock. "Yeah, I sure have!"

She kept her left hand on it. Funny, Doctor M. hadn't been interested in sex when she'd entered his office. Now, he was feeling excitement. She nestled closer to him, and his arm went around her shoulders.

She unzipped his fly and snaked her hand inside to caress his naked cock.

He said softly, "That hits the spot. That's exactly where I itch!"

She giggled and pumped it. "Jesus, you've got a big one!" she breathed. She shrugged then, as if the size of it pleased her.

He asked, "Do you do this with the man you want to marry?"

"Yes and a lot more!"

The doctor's cock was hard as pig iron. She caressed it fondly with both hands, nestled in his arms.

He asked, "What does 'a lot more' mean?"

She rolled her head back and looked at him, frowning. "I thought you knew," she said. "I mean, things my daddy taught me. like this." She leaned forward and kissed the head of his cock. Then she squeezed it absently.

"Eat it," he said.

Instead, she wiggled around, straddling him and facing him. She'd pulled her panties off, and now she moved her body over his rampant cock. "Hey, aren't you going to stick it in me?" she asked.

She held his shoulders as he took his cock and put it into her without any preliminaries, introducing the head of it and pulling her hips. She plumped down, and his cock slid into her, full and eager. She writhed over it furiously.

"You're wild!" he said.

She giggled. "Shut up and fuck!"

The doctor knew she wanted it, all of it. Maybe it made her blot out her thoughts. It was easier to feel than to think. She could think about her problems later. But she had no problems now just his big, hard cock.

He was panting, thrusting it up into her wickedly. She clung to him, moaning in genuine delight, moving sinuously.

Then, suddenly, she stopped.

She raised up and his hard, wet dong slipped out.

Then she bent down and took it into her mouth.

She moved her tongue lasciviously over the head of it, enticing him, stimulating him. It was fun to fuck, but he had to admit it felt even better with the woman's mouth. They were two different ways, so different that there was no comparison, except they both ended in paroxysms. He sighed and leaned back, letting her eat him.

Dr. M. was becoming very excited. He felt his face flush as she cuddled her head in his nest of hairs. He began to stiffen, and then he felt his cock boiling into her mouth. "Oh, God!"

She sucked faster, and he panted and twisted to receive every vestige of friction. It was sheer ecstasy. He held her head, slithering and moaning until he'd shot every bit of his load.

Even after it was all over, she clung to him, his wilting cock still in her mouth. She was panting, sharing the aftermath of his bliss.

It had been a purely carnal act, but it had been gratifying. After he had zipped up, Doctor M. was silent, staring at his patient. She flicked a glance at him. His eyes were on her breasts, and he saw tiny drops of perspiration on her forehead. He smiled to himself.

"I'll have to make several appointments for you," he said huskily. "And there'll be physical examinations." He patted the examination table near him "Sit here, please," he said.

She sat there, and he clicked off the bright, overhead lamp. He came to her and expertly removed her skirt. She was still without her panties.

He had her lean back on the table, on her elbows. He parted her thighs and came in between them quickly. He was hard again, and he went into her strong and thrusting. He held her under the knees and fucked her strongly and ardently.

He sucked on her breasts and came again, spurting inside her.

He remained in her for long minutes, panting and regaining his breath.

"I'm not going to put you on my books," he said. "I'll make a note that I could find nothing wrong with you."

"Okay, Doc."

"I'll want you to come at nights."

"What time?"

"Eleven o'clock."

She nodded. "I'll be here at eleven o'clock tomorrow night."

He pulled out of her and wiped his cock. He gave her another cigarette with shaking fingers and said he'd enjoyed himself. She smoothed her dress and slipped into her panties.

"How many examinations will you need to make?" she asked.

He smiled and cupped one of her breasts, squeezing it gently and lovingly. "Lots of them, I think."

She sighed.

In Dina's passion for Doctor M., she forgot all about the married man she thought she was in love with. All of her desires had transferred to the young doctor, but she wished he liked the oral way better than fucking. Perhaps, she could bring him around to it. She liked cocksucking better than any other way, and she knew she was expert at it. Having a man's cock in her mouth was like having security. Having love. Having her daddy belong completely to her!

Doctor M. saw her for several months and, at each meeting, enjoyed having her go down on him. He got to liking it very much the oral way, but there came a time when he desired a change of women. For one thing, Dina S. was making him ejaculate too quickly. It got so he'd lose his wad almost as soon as she put her hot mouth over him.

By now, he had learned to know his patient very thoroughly. He knew the best way to get her to give him up....

He simply introduced her to a handsome bachelor friend.

Mary M. is another case of an early childhood sex hang-up.

She was in the psycho ward of a state hospital when Doctor L. was called in to see her. She was naked and ready for a man, and she immediately began telling him about all the men who came to visit her there at the hospital. "I'm the sexiest woman in the world," she proclaimed. "All the nurses here are jealous of me! And I was the best wife a man could have!"

"Your husband seemingly doesn't think so."

"What does he know? He was only my husband, and he was mean and foolish. He beat me. He started to beat me as soon as we came back from our honeymoon! I was surprised when Don slapped me that first time. No wife expects to be slapped by her husband while she's lying in bed with him. I mean, sex wasn't any different than it had been all those times in hotel and motel rooms.

"But I was putting up with it, letting him have his way. All wives have to suffer. My mother had told me that a thousand times, ever since I was a little girl. Men tore girls up inside, she'd said. They were like animals. They didn't care how much pain they caused, how much they soiled you."

"Tell me all about that first time he slapped you."

"Well, I was lying quietly beneath my husband's big, hairy body. He was hurting me, but I wasn't trying to push him off, or anything. I didn't know why he slapped me, but when he did, I tried to get off that bed and run away from him. But he was insane! He held me down an d pushed and twisted his big thing into me without stopping."

" 'Fight me!' " he grunted. " 'At least, it shows you're alive!' "

"I cried and begged him to stop. I told him I could be a perfect wife in every way but this one, that I didn't like sex that way. I told him I knew another, better, way.

"But panting, lurching, hammering away at my aching body, Don paid no attention to my pleas. He didn't pull away until he'd finished fucking me. And then he called me a beast and asked what the hell was the matter with me.

" 'You slapped me,' " I sobbed.

" 'I'm sorry about that,' " he told me. " 'I just exploded, I guess. But you're so stiff and cold. I don't want to harm you. I just want to love you.'

"Doctor, he raped me and made me dirty and then he beat me. Do you call that love?"

She said she wouldn't let him touch her again after that, that she hurt all over. He'd been like a snorting bull that wanted a cow.

"I should have known," she said.

Then she told about her stern, pinched-faced, mother with knife-edged lips. They say to look at a girl's mother if you want to know what the girl will be when she gets older. But all the doctor could see then was how lush her body was, how ripe and beautiful. It was hard to believe how much her razor-mouthed mother had poisoned her.

"He was crazy," she continued. "He cursed my mother and tried to make her look bad. And I wasn't dry and empty inside, like he said. Because I didn't act like a bitch in heat didn't mean I wasn't alive!"

Mary M. admitted that she'd gone home to her mother after that night. Because of her religion, divorce was out of the question, so she found sexual outlets with other men. She said she'd blossomed out with what Ralph and she were doing because it was so much like what her father had done to her. After each sex session, though, she would scrub her body until it was sore.

Doctor L. was sympathetic. He listened and agreed that perhaps Don had had a streak of sadism in him. He ended the session by saying he would come back later and let her tell him more about it when she felt better.

Alone again, Mary M. wanted to scream. She'd wanted sex with the doctor, and now she was burning all over. But if she screamed, they'd-likely put her in a strait-jacket. They were treating her as the insane one, when it was really Don! He was a case of another man betraying a woman, as all men did.

After the doctor had left, Mary babbled, insisting she wasn't frigid and empty. That evening, after supper, she became physically ill. A young, white-clad intern came to see her. The sight of him, a man, erased her sickness, and she said calmly that there was nothing the matter with her. She almost laughed at the way the young man's blue eyes bulged when she quickly slipped out of her dress and stood naked before him.

"Look," she whispered hoarsely, "I'm a woman! Don't you think I'm a beautiful woman?"

There was sweat on the intern's face. "I sure do, baby," he breathed.

She stepped closer and began fumbling with the buttons on his white coat. "Let me prove to you what kind of a woman I am," she said.

"You do that, baby," he said. "You just get busy and do that!" He helped her with the buttons, and the zipper on his pants.

His hands were soft and gentle on her body, not like Don's. His mouth, when he kissed her, was hungry and warm.

Involuntarily, she fell to her knees before him.

"I like to see what a man's got between his legs," she said, looking up.

"What are you waiting for? Feel it, baby! Take it out of my pants!"

He was statue-tall as he stretched, arching his back, his heavy chest puffed out, his trim belly sucked in. He dropped his pants, and his thumbs grabbed the tops of his briefs. He peeled them from his young body and stood naked and free.

"Sure feels good to get out of those clothes," he said, towering above Mary, wiggling his hard cock in her face. She looked up again, seeing everything he had revealed in detailed perfection.

"Suck it," he said, pounding a fist lightly into his palm.

"Sure," she said, circling his legs, drawing him closer to her. He gasped when she covered the head of his cock with her mouth. Her hands became personal, going all over his body, tickling and finding his crotch. She grabbed his big, hard penis, and her strong fingers felt, measured.

The intern grinned down at Mary, then laughed huskily. Mary found herself laughing, too, as she handled his cock.

Then she felt hard flesh pushing at her cheek, and his iron-like grasp was on her head. He forced his cock against her lips. She took it and sank her teeth lightly into the hard flesh.

"You tiger!" he cried. "No tricks!" He spread his legs.

She smoothed her hand over the man's body, his chest, belly, crotch. Crouching, she grabbed him and encircled the flesh she found. She felt him quiver all over as she stroked and pumped. Gentle, but firm. Then her mouth left his cock.

"Like it?" she asked, looking up.

He did not reply. He took her head and guided it back to his throbbing prick. She hugged his legs and rubbed his erection.

"Let me look at it," she said huskily, nibbling at his knees. "I like to look at a big cock."

God, he seemed huge! But his cock was perfectly proportioned. She grasped his thighs and spread them wide apart. She closed her eyes as her hungry mouth came on target, and her lips looped around his hardened flesh.

The young intern pulled her head closer. His hands were tight and commanding, and his nails dug into her neck, He writhed, pulsated, and moaned with pleasure. She sucked, feeling pure, velvety, wonderful sensuality.

"How was that?" she asked, pausing.

He didn't reply. He squeezed her shoulders hard.

"Do I know how to give a guy a blow job?" she asked, rubbing her tongue up and down the inner side of his cock.

"Like crazy, gal!"

She went down on him again, and they both were caught up in a web of pleasure as her moist mouth sucked on his cock. Her hard, hot tongue sought his cord, and he sank into an exquisite delirium

She worked hungrily on his cock, nibbling at its head, increasing his desire, making his meat throb. Her tongue trailed over the sensitive flesh of his scrotum, then back to his tilted erection, and he writhed in the pleasure she was giving him.

The joy couldn't last forever, and it didn't. She felt him shooting deep into her throat, and an indescribable pleasure coursed through her. They both were exhausted when it was all over.

He looked around then, and buttoned and zipped up his clothes. He said he'd been a little nervous for fear someone would come and catch them He was panting when he left, and she didn't want to see him go. She'd wanted to go down on him again.

There had been enchantment in it, pleasure and yes, even love.

She became unreasonably angry, afraid he'd never come back to her.

But there were other men, willing men, even behind locked doors. She'd already sucked the kitchen men, the laundry men, the men who took care of the ground, men who smelled of grease and earth and gasoline.

After her affair with the young intern, Mary improved for a time, and the psychiatrists didn't know why. They didn't know the young intern was sneaking back, that she was going down on him regularly.

He was satisfying some deep, hidden desire in her.

Since she seemed so much improved, she was given the run of the grounds. One day, one of the yard men cornered her, raped her. She'd tried to get away from him, but he was too fast. Too damned fast.

It hurt. It hurt like hell what he did to her. She'd tried to pull away from him as he fucked it to her, standing. She fell back, and he was immediately on her, pinning her down with his big, hard cock. There was nothing but utter agony in her body.

The back of her head felt matted and wet. She fought blindly as he tore deeper into her, ripping her very bowels apart. She beat him across the back, pounded her fists on his heavy shoulders.

But nothing worked. Nothing helped. She felt her own flesh rip, and then the world turned black.

Some time later, her eyes fluttered open at the bite of a hypodermic needle. The room was bright, but the faces over her were blurred. There were Nurse Jamison, Mandy Kims, Doctor Kemp. How the hell did they get here? She looked away from them

And then she saw the stripped flesh of her right breast. The bulge was gone and could never be put back. Damn that man! He had chewed it off!

She started to scream. She couldn't stop screaming, even after they strapped her down. Before the anesthetic took hold, she tried to stop the awful sounds keening out of her throat. They sounded like the mournful and mindless howls of a dying dog.

Later, Mary got her revenge. Willingly, she let Joe F., the man who had raped her, have his way with her. He'd sneaked into isolation to screw her.

She'd let him, and then she'd wiped his cock on her skirt hem and sucked him. Then, with razor-sharp teeth, she bit down!

"I had a sick-sweet taste in my mouth when I looked down where I'd severed Joe's penis from his body. There was nothing left but a bloody stub. I fought down the sickness," she told the officials when they questioned her. "He had it coming. I'd already warned him not to sneak in and try to screw me.

"He was a slob, a degenerate, a sadist," she continued. "He ought to feel lucky I didn't slit his throat. But he's through taking advantage of helpless women! I've seen to that!"

Though Joe screamed, it was some minutes before he was found. Later, one of the nurses said, "This is something for the record! Joe was a messed-up maniac, all right. He thought he could handle a girl as he damned pleased! I'm glad she got him!"

Doctors worked frantically over him in Emergency. Everybody was in a state of near shock over what had happened, Mary included. She was scared stiff, and the scare did something to her.

The very next time her husband came to visit her, she pulled him quickly into the linen closet and began kissing him passionately. Her voice rasped huskily in her throat when she said she wanted him to fuck her. There, in the intimate darkness that smelled of starch, disinfectants, and laundry soap, she had her first really successful sex with her husband.

She felt him press deeply into her and she liked it. She moaned once, softly, but from pleasure. They didn't talk, just enjoyed each other's bodies.

After it was over, they rested.

Then Don said she could blow him if she wanted to.

Mary's recovery was swift after that. On the day she was released from the asylum, Joe F. got out of the hospital. He breathed and lived, but he'd never be a man again. Mary had relieved him of his manhood.

But she'd gained back her womanhood. Don's letting her go down on him had done that. At last, he'd recognized her life-long need that couldn't be denied.