Trading Sex To Save A Marriage
Frieda, and Kenneth had indulged in regular sexual relations before their marriage. Intercourse for them had been satisfactory and fulfilling. They expected such satisfaction and fulfillment to continue when they married. It did not.
Marriage had not brought them closer sexually. It had, in fact, cast an aura of dissatisfaction over their relations. The romance was no longer there. Neither Frieda nor Kenneth were able to maintain their role of eager lover. Sex became a standard procedure, practiced on certain days of the week, in a certain manner, with uncertain results.
They began to quarrel. And that, of course, led to other sexual difficulties. Frieda sometimes felt that she had lost her sexual attraction. Before marriage, Kenneth had devoted huge amounts of time to wooing Frieda, and she loved it. After marriage, the goals of earning money, getting promotions and winning new titles became more important to Kenneth than his romantic relationships with Frieda.
This did not mean that marriage had grown less important to him. It simply meant that his entire practical life situation had changed. The drive to find a permanent sexual partner is one of the greatest drives in man, but Kenneth had accomplished this. He no longer felt the need to woo Frieda.
But Frieda continued to wish to be wooed. After a time, she sought out other sexual partners.
She had her first extramarital sex with a neighbor, Ted Bixby. Ted was a handsome bachelor, and quite a man about town. He had a nice apartment, and it was usually adorned with a lady or two.
One day, he was coming home with a box under his arm. Frieda was out in the yard, so she stopped him and asked, "What's in the box, Ted?"
He chuckled. "Curious, huh? Well, it's something you might like!" He opened the box and showed her a vibrator. It had plastic handles and attachments. "You ought to feel this on your nipples and clit," he said. "God, it would make you squirm!"
"Umhummmmm!"
"Come with me to my apartment, and I'll demonstrate!"
Frieda went with him. In his apartment, he switched the thing on. "See? Batteries inside. Now, lie back."
Frieda obeyed. He brought the humming vibrator close to her left breast. He touched the attachment to her flesh.
She jumped. It felt funny through her dress, making her nipples surge with instant growth. She couldn't stay still. Echoes were awakening in her clitoris. She arched her back and pushed her hard nipple deeper into the humming rubber cup.
"Like it?" Ted asked.
"Oh, yes, yes!"
"Let's get you out of your clothes."
They both undressed. Then Ted moved the vibrator all over Frieda's naked body. She breathed fast as he drew it down the shallow valley between her breasts, and then onto the soft mound of her right nipple. He circled it.
She reached for his hard cock and played with it.
After a minute, he asked, "Want it lower, honey?"
"If I can stand it," she said.
The cup left her nipple and hummed in a slow, tantalizing path down her belly, past her belly-button, onto the dark, curly hair of her mound.
He said, "Open wide, honey!"
She spread her legs and raised up to watch the vibrator go down her loins, moving to her cunt. He slid the cup lower, onto her pussy lips.
"Oh, God!" she cried, chewing her lower lip.
He edged the cup into her slippery wetness and heat and touched her clitoris.
She went wild. "Aieee!" She flinched away from the instrument. The sensation was too strong!
But he wouldn't let her escape. The buzzing cup went all over her clitoris and sent millions of pleasure pulses along her overloaded nerves. She screamed.
Her belly spasmed, and she seized a pillow and muffled it over her face to stop her cries. She thrashed and jerked in full orgasm, and her hips pumped frantically.
The vibrator didn't stop. It buzzed on and on, and she felt she'd never again get enough air in her lungs. Jagged streaks of varied colors passed before her eyes.
It was too much, and she fainted. When she came to, Ted was screwing her. It felt so good. "Put that thing away," she begged. "Suck my nipples with your mouth."
Soon they were both breathing in quick puffs. Ted moaned softly, and then he began to quiver and quake as he neared his climax.
"Oh, Frieda-"
She pressed upward and felt the first spurt of his semen. Then more. It was exciting. "Ohhh!" He shook all over.
Then he quieted. He lay on her until his cock shrank. It slipped from her cunt lips and slapped against his thigh.
Later, Ted told Kenneth about the vibrator, and what it would do for a woman. Old Kenneth got all eager and wanted to know if they couldn't get together with some women and try it soon.
Ted suggested he bring Frieda and come over to the apartment.
"Sure," Kenneth said, "if I can get Frieda to cooperate."
Ted felt pretty sure that Kenneth wouldn't have too much difficulty in coaxing Frieda to come.
And that's how a series of wonderful swap parties between Ted and Kenneth, Frieda and Ted's girls, all began.
The first time, Kenneth was mighty curious about the vibrator. He watched Ted use it on one of the girls, and she thrashed and bucked on the bed. They were all naked, and Kenneth's cock was sticking out a yard.
"Here," Ted said, "let me try it on you!"
He touched Kenneth's cock with the vibrator and old Kenneth nearly had fits. "Jesus-God-it's strong!" he cried. "But, oh, Christ, it feels good!"
They all fooled with the vibrator for some minutes. Frieda's and the other girl's cunts were juicy, and Ted and Kenneth were so hard they ached in the groins. Ted fell upon Frieda and began to fuck her. Kenneth made up to Ted's blond friend. She found his cock with a warm hand and fondled his testicles, then sucked on his prick awhile. When her tongue flicked over the underside of his glans, he nearly went mad. He groaned and his body began to quiver. He mounted the girl and fucked her avidly.
"Oh-oh, this is good!" he cried.
He could tell his wife was enjoying Ted Bixby by the way she writhed and groaned under him. He was pressing his big, hard cock deep into her vagina, and Kenneth was doing the same with the girl he rode. A third girl stood over him, watching. He looked up. "I'm going to fuck you next," he said.
And he did.
It was the best sex Kenneth and Frieda had had in a long, long time. At the end, when Kenneth finally got around to fucking Frieda, it was like on their honeymoon. Her cunt was good.
The practical matters of the world diminished for Kenneth. Making love again became more important, and his mind was more often on women. To hell with success! Now, when Kenneth went home from work at the end of the day, he was less eager to relax than to play the passionate lover. Frieda was an excellent bed partner again.
Getting married need not change the physical realities of life. There had been times before the swap party when Kenneth had missed his old freedom and resented his marital situation. Frieda, too, had missed her old, carefree life. The swap party had put something back into their pattern of living. With Ted for a sort of rival, Kenneth began giving Frieda more attention, which she liked and craved.
Now, Frieda became more of a helpmate and less of a burden. Kenneth better understood her needs, and they again approached each other with delight. Their sex drives were healthy, and their approach was great.
There are many ways in which failure to understand the physical, emotional and social needs and differences between men and women can lead to chronic problems in marriage. To take only one example, a young wife is often disturbed by the fact that her husband, though in a bad mood, may nevertheless be interested in sex. The young wife does not operate that way and knows it. She is more interested in sex when she is feeling her best. So after a bad day for both of them, or after a quarrel, she is incapable of understanding how her mate could possibly want her. She concludes that all he wants is physical release, which she translates to mean, "He's using me!"
Actually, his interest in sex is in keeping with the desires of most young men. They wish to prove themselves sexually when they have proved themselves no other way during the day. If all else goes wrong, making love enables a man once again to feel like an adult male.
Sexual disappointments occur often in the early years of marriage for so many couples. They are not the result of some flaw in the husband's drive, as many women believe. And they do not mean that the marriage is loveless and doomed.
What can be done about them?
The first sensible move is for the couple to discuss what is happening to them. This, of course, is a touchy matter. It takes great tact to inform a partner that he or she has failed as a lover.
But a husband and wife should be able to discuss anything having to do with sex. However, many young wives consider it next to impossible to raise such a question. It conflicts with their early training that the woman's role is passive. To that, we can only say that the subject must be raised anyway. No woman is such a good actress that she can constantly hide her sexual dissatisfaction, and no man can feel truly masculine if he cannot satisfy his wife sexually.
In an honest discussion, each person should try hard not to damage the other's self-esteem. Nothing a husband says should make his wife feel unattractive, and nothing a wife says should make her husband feel a failure.
However, most young couples never get beyond discussing sex as they discussed it before marriage, when the major question was: Should we, or shouldn't we? After marriage, the question becomes: When should we? They avoid talking about their feelings, hang ups and fantasies that worry and excite them.
Often communication works better in a group, and here is where the swap party comes in. Perhaps it is a combined knowledge of human sexuality that provides a better method of study. But swap couples learn about sex, and learning takes away the fear, even though the study of our sexual nature goes far beyond knowing an admirable variety of positions for making love.
All sexual insights are valuable subjects for discussion between man and wife. The thousands of experts who have written on the art of lovemaking all agree that it can be an endlessly creative act.
There is no single right time for making love. Most couples wait until bedtime, but Velda and John, a farm couple who enjoyed their sex, used to slip off from the kids and indulge in the chicken house-and it never mattered what time of day it was. There is no rule book which says which sexual act should come before which, and there is no sexual act which isn't fit for experimentation.
A young husband and wife can easily fall into a habitual sexual routine and later wonder why lovemaking no longer thrills them. Few wives would expect their husbands to enjoy the same dinner evening after evening. A wife needs to seek new menus, both for the table and for sex. She might ask her husband if he has any suggestions. It may also be up to her to make it clear that she is not limited sexually, that she is happy to try whatever he may enjoy.
If a woman learns to make her own wants known-nonverbally as well as verbally-it may lead to her husband's doing the same. Lovemaking, like gourmet cooking, involves a never-ending exploration of subtleties.
Assuming that the young couples under discussion do love each other and want to improve sexual relationships, it is unfortunate that many who do love deeply believe in shielding the person they love from knowing the ways their love has failed. A cultural paradox is at fault here and intensifies the situation. Men feel that to suffer in silence is a sign of masculine strength. Women also see suffering in silence as a sign of feminine strength.
In reality, silent suffering can be the opposite of strength. Each person may simply be afraid of expressing displeasure. Each is afraid of the other's reactions. But, if love is present, the truth, even if it is unpleasant, often, binds a couple more closely together.
The fact that one can feel love does not necessarily mean that he can express it, especially in the sex act. Some young marriages run into failure because both parties, without ever realizing it, fail in creative effort.
In fitting everything into a day, one must budget time, money and energy. Domestic conversations often become too problem-oriented. Nothing deeper than how the day went may be the subject for evening conversation, and that often with a lot of gripes thrown in.
This doesn't make for a good sexual relationship, and the friendly neighbor may supply what one's mate failed to do. That is one reason why the swap party is so popular among young married couples. They simply seek, at first, and find someone to talk and listen to.
Couples get out of the habit of having fun together. In such cases, the relationship needs revitalizing. Any couple who love can learn to play together, have fun together. If, on first try, they can't make it, perhaps the bringing in of congenial friends will help, even the trying of a sexual relationship with another person, the temporary trading of husbands and wives. If they truly want a happy marriage, they can't afford to ignore any of these possibilities for bringing one about.
Dating others, having fun, revitalizing a stale relationship, will not solve serious sexual problems and incompatibilities. But it can set a climate, put one in the frame of mind to ask, as one asked when the romance was new, "What can I do to make you happy?"
In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.