Chapter 9
Naturally, not every case of incest involves mutual consent. This is especially true in father-daughter cases involving people who are socially and economically deprived.
According to Dr. Kirson Weinberg, in his book Incest Behavior, "Most fathers and brothers were unskilled, manual workers. Many participants (36.1 percent) were skilled or semiskilled workers. Forty-three percent were unemployed at the time of the incest."
In cases like these, where the daughter is raped without consent, it is due to the fact that the father feels like a failure. In order to build up his ego he needs to feel attractive and wanted. Naturally, raping his daughter does not have a beneficial effect but before the act he doesn't realize this.
What happens to the daughters? Some are afraid to tell anyone because they fear their fathers. Others leave home and sink into a life of prostitution. And some manage to overcome what has happened to them and begin life again.
CASE HISTORY
Tamara T., a lovely young woman in her middle twenties, was raped by her father when she was sixteen. After several years of prostitution she pulled herself out, with some help, and is now married very happily.
"The memory doesn't hurt so bad now. For a long time I couldn't even think about it without breaking down and crying.
"To begin with, I was raised in a real hell hole of a slum. We never had enough food or clothing or anything else. My father worked as a janitor and brought home money every week but it was spent fast. The only other thing he was good for was getting my mother knocked up about once a year.
"I was the oldest, and I can't honestly say that I had any real childhood. Most of the time I was busy taking care of the kids or a new baby. I went to school when I could but that wasn't often. Hell, my mom couldn't take care of five kids and be pregnant all the time without some help.
"I didn't feel all that deprived, though. Shit, I didn't know anyone who was any better off. In fact, we were pretty lucky. Most of the men ran out after a couple of kids came along.
"The fact that my father had a steady job seemed to make us just a little better than most people. Maybe that's why I was still a virgin at sixteen. All my friends were fucking since they were thirteen and fourteen, some even younger. I thought then, I honestly believed that is, I was a good girl and I would somehow magically get out of the slum.
"Besides that, to be perfectly honest, in that environment staying good wasn't that much of a struggle. I was a good-looking kid so all the boys were after me but they made me sick. They all quit school and did nothing but loaf. Oh, they would sit around and say that tomorrow they were going to find a good job and turn into millionaires but none of them ever did anything about it. Along with that, they were all so dirty. It costs money to heat water and most of the families around us just didn't have it.
"My father was always so proud of his job. He had worked in the same place for fifteen years, and in our neighborhood, that was some record! Then the place changed hands, and the new owner decided it would be more efficient to hire a service. They could come in with high powered machines and clean the place in an hour.
"Some of the other employees stood up for my father but it didn't do a damn bit of good. The boss told them that sentimentalism couldn't stand in the way of progress. Shit!
"Anyway, after he lost his job he just collapsed for a while. He'd always liked his beer and went on a real binge. He wasn't a nasty drunk or anything, at least not at first. He mostly just felt sorry for himself and tears would roll down his face.
"Our money ran out quick and there were ten kids to feed. I offered to get a job but Momma said no. Since I didn't have much education the best I could do would be cleaning someone else's house. Although she wouldn't let me do that, that's just what she did. I stayed home and took care of all the kids and tried to make my father feel better.
"The second day Momma was gone I started noticing the way my old man kept looking at me. He was staring at my tits and ass like I was a strange woman and not his daughter.
"One day I sent all the kids out to play at a neighbor's so I could have a little peace. I was so tired and worn out from chasing them all day long. I went to the bedroom, stripped off all my clothes to cool off, and fell asleep.
"When I woke up, the first thing I saw was my father's face staring down at my naked body. I tried to pull the sheet up to cover myself, but he wouldn't let me. He was drunker than I'd ever seen him before and he kept telling me what a pretty pussy I had. Then he sat down on the bed, right next to me.
"I was kind of scared but I didn't think he would actually do anything. I mean, he was my father and all. So I just lay there and kept still while I listened to him talking about my body.
"Then he took his hand and put it down on my tittie. He didn't move it or anything, just left it there. I tried to push his hand away and he slapped me. Then I was really scared. I fought and struggled with him to let me go but he just wouldn't. He was a lot stronger than I was and when he climbed on top of me I couldn't get away. I kept yelling and trying to scratch his eyes out but no one heard.
"He slipped out of his clothes and I could see his pecker all hard and swollen. At first I was fascinated but then I remembered that he was going to stick that long, thick rod into me. I was terrified and screamed some more. He kept slapping me. It was awful—he was like a wild man.
"He slipped his knee in between my legs and spread them wide open. Then he plunged his prick down into me, tearing me wide open. I screamed again and pleaded with him to stop but he didn't hear. He just kept ramming that pole harder and harder. I could feel the blood from my cherry flowing down my leg as he kept right on fucking me.
"The pain was so awful—my cunt muscles were so tight that it hurt ten times worse than it could have. I was close to fainting when he came. The cream warmed up my sore cunt a little but scared me shitless. I was afraid I would get knocked up and that was the last thing in the world that I wanted.
"After he came, he just collapsed right next to me. I got up and got dressed and took off. I didn't have any plans then, I just wanted to get out of that house and away from the smell of beer and jism.
"While I walked, I did some hard thinking. I knew that if I went back I would probably have to face the same damn thing over and over again. Besides that, I wanted a chance to get out of the gutter, to make something of myself. The last thing in the world I wanted was to grow up like my mother.
"While I was thinking and wondering just how I was going to feed myself and find a place to stay a man walked up to me and offered me twenty bucks. At first I felt like slapping the shit out of him, wiping the evil leer off his ugly face. But then he took the twenty out of his wallet and waved it in front of me. Somehow, seeing the money is a hell of a lot different than just talking about it.
"I took a better look at him. He was no doll but he wasn't much uglier than my father. And unpleasant as the whole thing had been I had lived through it. Besides, he looked clean enough and didn't smell.
"I could tell by the way he was looking me up and down that he really had the hots for me. Hell, his prick was already sticking half out of his pants. So I took the money and followed him home.
"His place wasn't too bad. He had a big bathtub that I used right away. I was walking around him stark naked but that didn't bother me. Hell, I'd been sharing a room with ten kids all my life and half of them were boys. Of course, my nakedness had never gotten the same reaction before, His eyes looked like they would bug out of his head.
"After I had cleaned up a little, I lay down on the bed and waited for him. Even though he knew I was a whore he was a lot gentler than my father had been. He kissed me a few times and played with my tits, trying to get me hot. I was too scared until his hand went between my legs. He rubbed and played with my clit until I felt pretty good. I looked up at him and he didn't look at all ugly anymore—I just wanted to feel his hard cock inside my body.
"I was creaming like mad by then. As he climbed on top of me I was afraid it was going to hurt but I forced myself to relax. Since my cunt had leaked so much his pecker just slid right in.
"Oh, it hurt just a little at first since my pussy was still sore from my father. But as he worked his cock in and out of me the pain just disappeared. I moved with him, arching my back and meeting every thrust. It felt just wonderful.
"I didn't exactly come that time, but when his gun went off inside me I felt wonderful shivers run down my whole body. And when he offered me ten more dollars to spend the night I agreed right away.
"I got to know him a little better that night, especially his body, and the next day I told him the truth. At first he didn't believe that I was so inexperienced but I convinced him.
"He told me that he couldn't do too much to help me but that he knew a man who was a pimp. The man would find dates for me and then take a commission. It sounded pretty good so I went to see him.
"Tom was a freaky-looking guy. Although his skin was clean and all, somehow he looked dirty. I can't explain it but he just turned me off. I knew the thirty bucks I had wouldn't last long so I was nice to him anyway.
"After talking to him for a few minutes, he told me it was time for my test. I didn't have any idea what the hell he was talking about.
" 'My dear, you are a lovely girl. But I can't recommend you to any of my friends until I have a much better idea of your capabilities.'
"I asked him if he wanted to fuck me and he said he did, along with some other things.
" 'How are you at giving head?'
" 'At what?' I honestly didn't know what he was talking about.
" 'Giving head, a blowjob, cocksucking. Whatever you want to call it.'
"I told him I had never done it.
"'Well, we'll start with that, then. In this business, the more jobs you can do well the better you'll be paid. I have many men who just want to get blown. They can get fucked at home but when they want something a little different they come to me.
" 'Now then, come over here and undress me. Just my pants, that's all you have to worry about right now. That's right, Now take my prick in your hand and run your gentle fingers up and down it. That's right, now around the head. Very good, my dear.'
"Following more instructions, I lowered my head and licked the knob of his prick. He told me to be very careful to get the tip of my tongue inside the tiny hole at the end. Then I worked my tongue back and forth, holding his balls in my hand until he was moaning with pleasure.
"As I took the first four inches of his cock into my mouth and sucked on it, a drop of his cream came out. I wanted to spit it out but he told me that I would have to learn to like it. So I rolled it around in my mouth for a few seconds to get used to the taste before I swallowed it. It wasn't too bad.
"He was getting more excited then, and had me suck harder. He worked his cock around in my mouth a little and then I felt it begin to quiver. I sucked as hard as I could and he came fast.
"Suddenly my mouth was filled with his come. I gulped it down and he spurted even more out. As his prick stayed rigid, coughing and spurting more gushes of cream. I sucked again, trying to draw out all that he had within him. Finally he stopped and his cock slowly began to go limp.
" 'My dear, that was excellent. I don't think I need to give you any more instructions today—you'll do fine. Here is an address and a key. The apartment is yours just as long as you are in my service. I'll give you a call in the morning to tell you what your appointments are.'
"I found the apartment with the help of a cabbie. It was in a nice part of town, much to my relief. And when I walked in the door I went wild. There was a bedroom with a huge bed, bathroom, kitchen, dining area, and living room. And the furniture seemed fantastic! I know now that it was the cheapest modern junk available but then it seemed sheer elegance.
"I walked around the place for an hour, giving all the rooms a good look time and time again. I had never seen such a wonderful place.
"I was excited and restless so I went out for a walk. Besides that, I needed food to fill my new refrigerator and cupboards. When I got back, I cooked some dinner and went to bed full and happy for the first time in my life.
"The next morning I was awakened by a knock at the door. It was a delivery boy from a department store with some clothes for me. Two dresses, an evening gown, and three sexy nighties. All for me, and all paid for.
"Tom called me while I was trying all my things on. I thanked him a million times and he kept saying I would be worth it. He also told me to expect a man in about an hour and to be nice to him. Well, if it meant new clothes and a wonderful place to live, I would be nice to the devil himself.
"I spent the hour waiting for him by taking a long bath and putting on my makeup. Then I slipped into one of the sexy gowns and sat down to wait. He was right on time and he had a suitcase with him.
"He looked me over for a few minutes and then said it was time to get started. He opened up the case and took out a nasty-looking whip. I was terrified that he was going to beat me up but instead, it turned out that I was supposed to whip him. I couldn't see getting any kicks that way but then I remembered what Tom has said about unusual things being worth more.
"He stripped his clothes off in a hurry and lay down on the bed. His body was good and his prick was immense. It was at least seven inches long and it hadn't even started to get hard!
"I honestly didn't want to whip him but he was the boss. At first I lashed his chest and arms gently with the whip but he kept telling me to hit him harder. So I pretended he was my father and a bunch of other rotten people and let him have it. When he started to bleed I got scared but he told me to keep going and start working over his cock.
"The whip caught just the tip of it with the first stroke. The amazing thing was that as soon as I lashed him he started to get hard. The harder I whipped him the bigger his cock got. By the time he was fully erect his pecker was at least ten inches long and two inches around.
"As I whipped him harder I noticed his cock start to quiver and shake. He came fast, spurting a waterfall of cream all over the bed. The expression on his face was something else. I don't think I've ever seen anyone look that happy.
"After it was all over, he got up and got dressed, giving me a hundred bucks. That was the most money I had ever seen all at one time before. He said good-bye and left me still staring at all the bills. I was disappointed that he hadn't even touched me once but the money more than made up for it.
"He was a steady customer for about two years and the same damned thing happened every time he came for a visit. Even though I didn't get much out of it I looked forward to him. He always paid and never gave me any trouble at all.
"That's a hell of a lot more than I can say for some of the guys. One of them wanted to whip me but I didn't let him. I didn't need the money that badly.
"I think the strangest thing that ever happened to me was when Fred came. I was expecting a client and when I opened the door I could have sworn that it was my father. This guy looked just like him, only cleaner and better dressed.
"I would have thought that would turn me off but it didn't. Instead, as soon as I looked at him I felt my pants begin to cream. I gave him extra special treatment, too.
"I started kissing him hard while my hands roamed all over his body and my cunt was pressed close to him so that I could feel his cock begin to swell. While we were kissing I worked his clothes off and then went down on him for a minute or two. I would have liked to suck him off all the way and swallow his cream but he wasn't willing. He wanted just a fuck. If it hadn't been bad business I would have offered to throw the blowjob in for nothing.
"Anyway, he got on top of me and I really gave him a workout. I moved underneath him in circles so that I could feel his prick in every single corner of my box. Then I wrapped my legs around his back so that his cock could get all the way inside me.
"I started coming before he did, driving him crazy with my spasming cunt. And when he came I held him tight and kissed him all over the place. I didn't imagine he was my father or anything like that—I just knew he turned me on a hell of a lot. He was a steady customer for a long, long time.
"Usually when I get a guy I let him undress himself and just wait for him on the bed, sprawled out with my legs wide open. Then, unless he really gets to me, I sort of lay there while he fucks me. Oh, I move a little but I don't exert myself. At that time I was having four or five men a day and I didn't want to poop out or let my pussy get too sore.
"After I'd been in business for about a year I began to be able to choose my clients, more or less. I just told Tom things I didn't like to do and he kept the guys away. Not that there was a hell of a lot I didn't like. Of course, I didn't want any whipping, at least not On me. The only other thing I didn't dig was getting it up my ass. It always hurt and I never came from it. So why the hell bother?
"After five years I was Tom's highest paid call girl. I moved into an elegant apartment and kept the other one for business. I was making about five hundred a week, tax free. If Tom hadn't been so greedy I would have made more. Out of that I had rent on two places to pay, food and liquor, clothes, makeup, and other shit like that. Besides that, I always sent twenty-five a week to my mother. It wasn't much, but I knew that if I sent more she would get suspicious as hell and might refuse the money. Even with all my expenses I managed to save a hell of a lot.
"It wasn't a bad life but five years was long enough. In my business, age is no advantage. Men like young girls, and the younger the better. So when I had enough money saved, I pulled out and went to another city.
"There I took a high school equivalency test and got a diploma. Then I went on to college. At first it was a real riot, listening to the other girls wonder if they should fuck or not and shit like that. I was so much older than they were, and most of it wasn't years.
"For the first two years I studied hard and stayed away from men. After five years of banging you get a little tired of it. At least I did. But in my third year I met Gil. He was everything I had always dreamed of. He was in law school and smart as a whip. Besides that, he was one beautiful guy. He still is.
"We started dating and got serious fast. I knew I wanted to marry him and he felt the same way about me. My only problem was telling him what I had been. I was so afraid that would ruin everything. Naturally he knew I wasn't a virgin, but being a non-virgin and a former whore are two different things.
"I broke down and told him the night he gave me my engagement ring. He looked sad and upset and left early that night. I cried myself to sleep, thinking what a stupid ass I had been for opening my mouth.
"The next day he came over. I'll never forget what he said to me.
" 'Darling, all that was three years ago. You did what you had to do in a very rough, cruel world and I think you're a better person for it. What matters to me is our life together and the future. The past is gone, so just let it die.'
"I cried and he cried and then we went to bed and it was great. He accepted my past and never asked any questions. We've been married five years now and I still love him. He has yet to ask me anything.
"In spite of all the hell I went through, sometimes I feel as though it were all part of a divine plan. If my father hadn't raped me, if I hadn't been a whore, if I hadn't gone to college and met Gil, I could have stayed in the slums and turned out just like my mother. In any case, I think I was damned lucky."