Case History 5
Subject: Kevin A. Age: Thirteen
INTERVIEW ONE
Kevin was brought in for therapy by his parents, but the three of them claimed that they were doing so under protest. Both parents said that their boy had been led on by older girls, and so was innocent and not at fault for what happened.
But the parents of the girls and the authorities at school claimed that since he was the male, he had to be at fault. It was supposed to be up to the therapist to listen to the young male patient and decide if he was at fault and if so, if he were sick.
I am not sick, and the girls aren't either. We think we're just normal healthy kids, and we wanted to have some fun. It's just that the kind of sex fun we decided to have is a little different than what the other kids pick. So what's wrong with that?
And how can they say I'm the one that turned them on? I didn't even know what a cunt looked like until they showed it to me. It's not that I don't know the facts of life. You learn them pretty young in our neighborhood. It used to be nice and quiet when my folks moved there when they were first married.
But now it's changing a lot. They have a lot more Blacks and PR's living around us. We would have moved by now, but my father doesn't make enough money for us to find a better place.
He does the best he can just to scrape together what they have to pay for me to go the Catholic school instead of the public one, because they're hoping I wouldn't have to mix with the others too much.
You see how it saved me, don't you. Those are all Black and PR girls that I got caught with all the time. Every time they called them innocent, I feel like I want to puke.
They don't have an innocent bone in their bodies. I'll bet they were sucking on pricks while the rest of us were sucking on lollipops. With them hanging around all the boys, whatever color we are, a guy doesn't stay innocent for very long.
There was all this talk going around about a girl named Carla. They said she would suck you off if you brought her chocolate bars. Seems she has this passion for candy, and they don't have any in the house because they're on welfare.
She shouldn't be eating that stuff anyway, because she has pimples all over her face. But that doesn't stop her. And it doesn't stop all kinds of guys of all ages from chasing around after her.
She's really kind of dirty, and I think I would have stayed away from her, no matter how many stories I heard. But sometimes my father gets me so mad with all that holy junk of his, that I feel like I have to do something bad just to show him that I'm a boy and not a saint, the way ' he wants me to be. He just doesn't want me to be human.
He's got this thing about being pure and all that crap. I don't know how many time he told me that he was a virgin until his wedding night and so was my mother. That's why I still can't figure out how I ever got born.
They're all the time claiming that the follow everything that the church says. So how come I'm an only child? Do they think I'm just plain stupid, or does my father believe that I really am a saint and don't know how babies happen to be born.
Either they're doing something or to the drugstore on the sly, or they don't do a hell of a lot of fucking. It just got to the point that I had all the crap I was going to take about being pure and staying that way until my marriage night.
You just don't know how rough it is when you hear shit like that all the time in the house, and in the streets there are cunts like Carla just laying there and waiting for you. And when all of your buddies, even the young ones in Catholic school are getting laid and sucked-off all over the place. Suddenly it's like you're the only one that ain't never been with a broad.
And that's at thirteen. I don't know when the other guys got started. I mean the Blacks and the PR's. I guess they go to it as soon as they can get their guns off. Because even the girls were making fun of me because they heard I ain't had it then.
It made me all so mad inside that I started hanging out with the toughest guys in the neighborhood. That's when I heard about Carla. The way they were talking, every single one of them had either fucked the PR cunt, or at least gotten a blow-job.
I was the only one that didn't. Carla was sixteen, but she didn't care how young or old the guy was, or even what color he was. Just as long as he came across with the candy bars. Come across with candy bars, and she comes across with whatever you want.
I guess you would say that she was a teenage version of a hooker. If she wasn't, she was damn close to it. Ugly as anything, with this greasy skin and pimples all over. Even on her chest. But she had the whole neighborhood cock supply right in her hand...or her mouth...or her cunt. Since the guys already knew that I was still a virgin, I came right out and asked them what I should say to her and the rest of that junk. They told me her favorite kind of candy bars, and I spent two weeks' allowance stocking up on them.
The darkest place kids like us can go to on a weekend is the Saturday afternoon movie. You can't even go up on the roofs or to the park, especially at night. Because the older kids are using them for shooting galleries.
I'll say this much for that gang, including Carla. They didn't touch the stuff. They drank a lot of beer when they could get it, and wine whenever they could sneak it out of the house. And they did an awful lot of fucking. But no junk.
We snuck up in the balcony, because Carta's older brother was in charge of it. The guys told me to hand over the candy bars right away, and then I wouldn't have any trouble with her.
And it worked like a good luck charm. She was so busy munching on the candy bars and watching that shitty old movie, that she didn't even turn around when I started to open the buttons on her blouse.
When they were all open, I stuck my hand in there and started to play with her tits inside her bra. She had a huge pair, and those cheap bras she wore didn't even really show them for what they were.
They were so big that they fell right out of there, and I had a handful of tit without even trying to get it out of her bra.
I was pretty hot by the time I had gotten that far, and she still wasn't stopping me from doing whatever I wanted. Don't think I wasn't scared shit to be so close to a cunt that I was supposed to get into before I went home. I was damn scared.
But I knew that the guys wouldn't have any trouble finding out that I went chicken and didn't go through with it. And they would laugh me right out of the neighborhood. There's nothing worse than being called chicken prick. I would cut it off before they could call me that.
So what was a guy supposed to do but sweat it out and keep right on trucking. It helped that I knew she wasn't going to turn me down. But just before I started to work my hand under her skirt, I knew that I was doing it for another reason.
Even if I never had the guts to tell my old man that I did it, I would know. And I would go home knowing that I was more of a man than he was. When I saw that lightning didn't strike me dead for making it with her anymore than it did to the other guys, I knew that I would never listen to anything the old man had to say about sex again.
Maybe I had to prove it to myself as much as to the old man. But I wanted to show him that I had it with his old-fashioned ways, and I figured this was a dynamite way to do it. No reason I shouldn't get my jollies too, was there?
My prick was good and hard, so I wasn't ashamed to take her hand and slip it down the front of my pants. And when she started to play with it in there, I nearly creamed.
My hand dove under her skirt, and I made it all the way to the top of her panties before she stopped me. I just figured she was being a cockteaser. Especially since I knew that she put out for everyone in the goddamn neighborhood, including the cop on the beat.
So I made another try for the top of her panties, but this time she took her hand out of my pants. . "No more." "What's the matter with me?"
"No matter."
"I gave you the candy."
"That's fine."
"Come on bitch. Knock it off. Why do you keep pushing my hand away. Ain't a white one good enough?"
"I have the rag on."
Wouldn't you know it! I finally get up the guts to take her there so I can get laid, and it has to be the day that she has the rag on. I banged the chair with my fist.
My cock was starting to hurt, and all we did was just sit there. But then she put her hand back in my pants, and started playing with me again. If it wasn't for that stupid giggle of hers, I might have felt pretty good.
I thought that she was just going to tease me some more, and then walk off and leave me sitting there with a big hard-on. And that made me mad as hell. Because I wanted so much to leave that movie as a man. I had to show up the old guy.
"I ain't looking for no blue balls."
"Carla will take care of you." "If I wanted to beat my meat, I can do it myself."
"Carla will take care of you." "What will Carla do, bitch." "Carla will suck you."
Now that really freaked me out. Because that was supposed to be even a worse sin than fucking. I did go up there hoping to get laid, but if I got to do something that was supposed to be even worse, that bitch was going to make my day.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do while she was going down on me. So I leaned way back in the seat and slumped down, closing my eyes and trying to look like I was real cool about the whole thing.
Now that's dumb, too, isn't it? Because she knew just like the rest of the crowd that I wasn't never touched by a girl before. But I had this idea that if my father could see me right then, I wanted him to see me taking that bitch on like a man.
It was easy to play it out, because she didn't do any talking, and she didn't ask me to do anything. She did all of the work for me. I mean, she opened my pants, took my prick out. And then she went right down on me without even asking me if I wanted her to.
I guess she knew that no guy would have said he didn't want it. She had the one hand on my prick, and the other one inside my shorts, playing with my balls. And then she went down on it with her mouth, and started licking all over the top of it.
I was really getting a blow-job. And it was going along so nice and easy that I could have been watching it on the screen. Because I was looking at that screen, because I wanted to keep cool.
Jose told me that he watched the movie whenever he felt that he was going to shoot too fast. And I had to watch a lot of that movie. Because I felt like I was going to shoot every second she was down there.
She licked every inch of my hard-on before she opened her mouth up wide and swallowed the whole thing. Next she was moving her head up and down on it, and even I could tell that she had done a lot of that stuff. Her lips were a little sticky from the candy bars, and I could feel the chocolate, on the sides of my prick.
It might have been funny for an older guy. But to me it was the way things were supposed to be. Those chocolate bars were my ticket to a blow-job, and a chocolate coated prick was okay with me as long as she licked it all off. Which she certainly did.
The place was so dark that I couldn't have watched what she was doing to me, even if I wanted to. But I could feel everything that she was doing, and not only with my prick.
I could feel it happening all over my body, which was a pretty groovy thing to me. I kept trying to remember what Jose said about watching the movie, but it only worked for a little while.
And then I couldn't watch anymore. All I could do was come. She was starting to move up again, but I grabbed her head and pushed it all the way down. I felt the tip of my prick hit something in her mouth, and I guessed that was as deep as I was supposed to go.
She was trying real hard to push her head up again. I forgot that she always made the guy shoot his load into a handkerchief, but not me. I was going to do it the way a real man would.
No sissy stuff with coming into a handkerchief. I was going to show that father of mine I was more of a man than any of the guys in the whole neighborhood. I was going to show that father of mine I was more of a man than any of the guys in the whole fucking world. I saw the way to do it by just holding her head down there as hard as I could.
It was going along too fast, and she really wasn't all that strong. Just to be mean, she had stopped moving her head up and down on me. But I didn't care. I just kept on going in and out of her mouth by myself. But not for very long, because I started to shoot.
And it was wild to be coming inside of her mouth like that. Not just to be coming, and not just to be coming because a girl had done something to me. I was shooting in her mouth, which none of the other guys had done.
And I had done something with a girl that my father probably never did in his whole life. I just couldn't feature my old lady, with her prayer book under her pillow, taking my father's prick into her mouth, and sucking him off. I guess I really showed him.
That was the best movie I ever saw. Not another one like it. But don't ask me what it was about. Because I don't remember.
INTERVIEW TWO
If she had let me fuck her that day, maybe I would have been hung up on fucking. But Carla and her girlfriends, too, did a lot more cocksucking than they did fucking. They were all the time afraid of getting knocked up. Even those dumb broads knew you didn't get pregnant by being fucked in the mouth. Except for Carla.
I laughed my head off when she told me why she never let tne guys come in her mouth. She thought that the come would go all the way down to her belly, and she would get knocked up. And when she did fuck, she made them pull out of her before they shot down there, too.
That really flipped me out. Because of all the young guys, I was the only one that ever got to shoot into her, in any of her holes. That day, when I went home from the movies, I felt like I was on top of the world.
Of course, I didn't want to tell my dad what I had done right off. I figured I would save it for some time when we were having one of our famous battles that every neighbor in the building could hear.
Maybe I shouldn't have acted too smart or I wouldn't have gotten caught. None of the other guys ever did. But both of my parents worked, and my house was always empty in the daytime.
None of the other guys had an arrangement like that. And now that I was really one of the boys, they decided to make some use out of my empty house. Nobody asked me if it was okay. It just happened.
They were all hanging out on my stoop when I got there. So I put on my best shit-eating grin and walked right up to them with as much of a tough walk as I could come up with.
"How they hanging?"
"Mighty low."
"You get into her pants?"
"I might say yes, and I might say no."
"Come on. Did you fuck her or not?"
"What would you say if I told you I went one better."
"So she blew you. She blows all of us. Big deal."
"But does she swallow your come?"
"You're full of shit."
"She don't do that for nobody."
"Maybe for nobody. But she did it for me."
"You're full of shit."
"Ask her yourself."
"I might just do that."
"Hey, you guys, just hang on a fucking minute."
"Here goes Jack with all the bright ideas." "Damn straight." "Okay, what is it this time?" "Sounds like she digs Kevin more than the rest of us."
"You might say that."
"So I bet he could set up something special for the whole pack of us. Some day, when his folks is working."
"You wanna gang bang?"
"That ain't a bad idea. But maybe she can get some of the other girls to go in on the deal with her."
"Sounds like we got us an orgy."
But that was on a Saturday. And we still had a couple of days to wait out, because Monday was a holiday. I had a hunch I better not fight them on the orgy thing, but I wasn't sure that I had the belly for it.
If I had to be the host at an orgy, then I wanted to have at least one fuck under my belt before I had to do it in front of the whole crowd. Those guys were all the time showing off, which one of them had the biggest prick, and shit like that.
I didn't want anybody showing me up. So on Sunday morning, while the folks were at church, I went up to the place, and hung out on the fire escape, until she saw me and opened the window to let me in. Her whole family were drunks, and they didn't even know that I was in he house. That's why I went in through the window.
They were all sleeping in the back of the place. I did want to fuck her real bad, but only because I never tried it before then. I didn't know which kick I would go in for more.
So I got into her bed with her, and she spread her legs right off. I just looked down into her cunt, and suddenly I didn't want to fuck her. I wanted her to suck me off again, because it was such a sin, and I got such a great kick out of making her swallow my come.
"No, now I want a fuck." "Don't I get what I want?" "Where's my chocolate?" "I forgot it. I got it downstairs." "Then you don't get nothing." "Okay, we fuck."
She was a hot bitch, and that was the only reason she was letting me get away with it. So I stuck my dick in and I started to hump. But she didn't move her cunt half as good as she moved her mouth.
I came all right, because it was a new kick to me. And a guy my age don't have much trouble coming, even if his dick is only in his own hand. That's something that the other guys said too, so I don't feel too bad about it.
By the time I climbed down that fire escape and headed for home, I knew where my kicks were at. I dug on getting sucked off a whole lot more than I dug on fucking.
Every guy can fuck. Even married guys can fuck. But every guy can't get a blow-jobs whenever he wants it. And of those that can, I was the only one that could come in her mouth.
It really should have made me puke to come in her mouth when she sucked off every prick in the neighborhood. And I knew that the next time I did it, I would probably have to look at her pimply face. But all that made it even more of a kick.
Now I know that part makes me sound sick, but I don't have to lie to a shrink.
I had one more day, and I wanted to be sure just what my kick was before all of us got together. So I picked up this other PR broad. She was seventeen, and put out a lot herself. I had to take her into the cellar, and we made it on this dusty old mattress.
When I sat down to take my pants off, I felt something run across my prick. It might have been a rat, but he didn't stop to bite my balls. This Viola was a pretty easy lay, too.
But I had to go and pick one of these scrupulous bitches. She felt like it was a perversion making it in a cellar, or something like that, because she only got out of her panties, and then picked her skirt up. She said something about it being indecent to have all her clothes off with a guy. Tell me if you can figure that one out.
Me, I wasn't bothering. She wasn't much in the tit department, so I didn't care if I got my hands on them or not. As soon as I was lying down there with her, I just moved myself around until I could aim my prick at her ugly face.
"No, Kevin, no!"
"Go ahead and kiss it."
"That is terrible!"
"What you got against sucking dick?" "Awful. A terrible sin." "How come it's good enough for Carla?" "She is a sinful girl."
I could tell that I wasn't going to get any place with her by talking, so I stopped trying and started pushing my dick into her face again. This time, she slapped it away with her hand, and started to get up. So I figured if t was going to get anything, I better do it her way.
"Okay, then, how about a fuck?" "Yes, that is all right."
My prick was nice and hard from rubbing it against her face, so I just stuck it right in there, and started humping. She moved a lot better than Carla, and it wasn't a bad fuck at all. But when it was over, I kinda felt like I was missing out on something.
She didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry, so I waited until I could get it up again, and then told her that I would beat the shit out of her unless she let me put it in her mouth.
Viola might have been prudish, but she also grew up in the Spanish ghetto, and she knew that even a kid my age could beat up on her and do a damn good job if he wanted to. So she took it in her mouth, and when I ordered her to start sucking, she went right to town on it.
Maybe she wasn't as good as Carla with her mouth, but she didn't seem to mind what she was doing once she got started. And I knew that I had my dick in a P.R. mouth, and it was supposed to be an awful sin. Here she was, a good girl, just like my folks said they were, and I was giving it to her in her mouth. This sounds awful, but I felt like I was giving it to my saintly mother that way. So when party time rolled around, I figured I could hold my own in the crowd and I told them to go ahead, and get the gang together. Some gang! If my folks were home to see them coming into the house, they would have gone up on the roof and jumped off. I was the only white kid in the whole crowd, and that was just the way I wanted it.
There were a couple of young girls, but I was really the youngest one there. Girls don't stay young and innocent very long where I come from. They see so much and they do so much fucking around, that they get old real fast. It's kind of a shame, but when I think about it, I know that I would rather be like the rest of them than try to be like my old man.
Because his way just isn't real. Whatever you might think of the kids and me, at least what we do is real. I like to have my feet on the ground.
Does that sound too serious" for a kid my age? In my house, I never had a chance to have fun. Even laughing and telling jokes is something of a sin, according to my parents. I think they were starting me out to take on serious responsibilities, and give up any ideas of fun from the day I was born.
I can't even remember having very much in the way of toys, and for Christmas it was clothes or something else I was supposed to need. So even though I should have been careful about having that rat pack in the house, I didn't much give a damn.
We all should have been in school, and it was the first day that I ever missed. Right away, that was a mistake, because my teachers picked up on it, and came looking for me. The other kids cut school all the time, and the older ones had already dropped out, the most of them. So nobody was looking for them. Just for me.
When that lady from the school came around, the whole gang was stripped bare ass and they were all going at it like crazy. I figured since it was my house, I could make them do anything they wanted. So I said that all the guys had to get blow-jobs first, or I was going to kick everybody out of the house.
The guys liked that idea, so they said the same thing. And this time, even Viola didn't put up a fuss. I guess the other girls told her that there was nothing to it, so she went down on me again.
I knew that once everybody got into the swing of it, the guys wouldn't be noticing if all I did was get my prick sucked. They didn't notice that. In fact, none of us noticed anything at all.
Including that we hadn't locked the door, or even pulled down the shades. Since it was June, I had all the windows open, because it was starting to get all sweaty up there, with all that fucking around. I think that the lady heard our noise before they even saw what was happening. Maybe they already knew what we were doing before they walked in through the open door. That was my fault.
If I had locked the door, the kids would have had time to get into their clothes before they caught us. And even if they thought that we were doing something bad, they couldn't have proved it. The way it happened, that lady and her friend walked right into the middle of it There I was with my hands on this chick's head, and she was sucking on my meat like crazy. Everybody else was lying on the floor around us, some sucking and some fucking.
When the lady started to yell and scream, everybody jumped and started running all over the place. But there wasn't no way they could get out of there, because nobody could find their own clothes. And the lady knew every one of us by sight, so it didn't matter anyway.
And what a bunch of bastards they turned out to be. Because it was my place, they figured it would be easy to say that I was the ringleader, and get away with it. That's a risk you gotta take, when you deal with a bunch like that. They stick together to get something, but when the jig is up, it's every man for himself.
The girls were real bitches. They started crying all over the place, and saying that they had been conned into coming up there, and it was all my fault.
I was supposed to be the one that made them do it. This is stupid, but for awhile there, when I didn't have time to think about my folks getting the whole story, I felt like a big man. It was a kick to think that I had shown the old man up.
But I was feeling that kick in front of that old maid teacher, because she knew my folks very well. I didn't feel so great when I had to face my mother. She ain't a bad lady, and she was very hurt, when she heard all the things that the other parents were saying about me.
They don't want nobody to think that their dainty little boy did anything bad. I gave my old man a real kick in the head with all that shit. It was okay to look like a big man when it first happened, but down there in the station house, it wasn't no fun at all.
The lady and my folks didn't want to drag us down there, but when the folks of all the girls were called, I guess they felt they had to go to the cops to make their girls look good.
That's how I wound up here. It's the only way my folks feel they'll be able to clear my name. If I had been caught fucking, it might not have been half bad, but I was caught with my prick in a girl's mouth, and they're all the time thinking I'm perverted, and junk like that. You really think I'm sick in the head?