Chapter 1

FIXATIONS AND DESIRES

Mother's been dead for a few years now ... but I still get a piece of incest now and then, or I get in on it. It psychs me, man! Jane's my first cousin. We fucked around when we were kids. She's married to some farmer now, but when I go for a visit, we can screw in her bed and watch her old man out plowing the field at the same time. We can finger and blow in the same room with that poor bastard and the two kids.

Oh, that Jane has still got some body on her. We'll all be in the living room looking at TV, see. The kids will be right behind them, taking in all the action on the TV, while Jane sucks my cock as we sit in the back of the dark room, the same damn room.

We like hot sex, weird things. It's like that with Susan too ... or, at least it was. When I talk, I like to think about Mother though. Man! She was the greatest woman for sex I ever knew. She taught me everything ... and I've never stopped liking it. She was a beautiful woman, only fifteen or fourteen years old when I was born. My grandmother was only about sixteen years older than my mother.

They were both full-bodied, what you call voluptuous....sexy as hell to look at. My mother had the biggest, most beautiful pair of tits you ever saw on any woman. Goddamn, she was the sexiest thing in the world!

Funny thing, you asking me to go back all the way to where I first got turned on sexually. It wasn't my mother who did it. It was my grandmother. I was just a damn kid then see, and she was a goddamn good-looking woman. So when Mom and Dad were out, my grandmother was always there. See, I was an only child and my father, he came from a pretty rich family, and I guess he'd picked up Mother somewhere and was fucking her when she was only a kid. He knocked her up, so my grandmother and the cops made him marry her.

My grandmother ... I would lay on the kitchen floor at nights-I can remember this, man, like it was yesterday-I'd lay there on the kitchen floor and look up my grandmother's dress....

I don't know if I got a hard-on then or not. All I know is I loved to look all the way up her dress, and sometimes she'd have stockings on with a crotchless girdle. Damn, that was hot stuff. Take today, if I can look up a woman's dress on the bus or someplace, oh, I get so damned psyched I'll reach in my pocket and play with it. Sometimes, I wear a rubber or have some paper towels stuffed around my cock, so I can go right ahead and let it come.

My grandmother, sometimes she was bare assed. Not very often, but damn, when she was, I could see all that black hair and see the fleshy, juicy pussy if she spread her legs a little. Doc, I swear, every chance I could, I'd he on that kitchen floor to look up her dress-those big legs, and I mean they had some shape! I mean, you know ... the thighs, that's what psychs me today too ... those big, long, naked thighs moving around up there. Oh, shit, man, that was ail I lived for. It was an obsession like. I mean I was down there on that floor looking up every night I could.

You know, I think that's why I've got a buttocks fetish ... and a naked-thigh-above-the-stockings fetish today. Of course, I've got every kind of fetish and hang-up there is, but, I mean, when I could see all the way up her dress and watch her ass move ... that big round ass ... oh, shit, that was great!

Sometimes she had on panties, but they were tight, you know ... I could still see her big round ass. Oh, hell, man, that shook me up! I know ... I was a stupid kid, who got overcome with that stuff and played with his dick too much because it felt good and because it felt the most good if I could look at my grandmother's thighs and ass ... or just think about it. You ask me where it all started, and I know that was it. I'll never forget my grandmother's legs, her sexy thighs, and that ass. That was the first thing I remember about getting sexy feelings, and I remember it like it was yesterday ... every round, shapely inch of my grandmother's thighs, her ass, her crack, the black hair. I bet I've masturbated ten thousand times thinking about that. And I like to talk about it and think about it when I'm sucking a pussy or cock or screwing somebody in the ass, cunt or mouth.

My dad was a pretty nice guy, I guess, but he could never satisfy Mother. Hell, I think she was fucking her brother and about four other guys too, so Dad took off when I was only about five or six years old. It's a funny thing ... maybe it isn't, Mother never gave him hell or talked a lot of shit about him. He paid her damn good support money for me, and with Mom working as a secretary to a big executive, we still lived real good after Dad left us.

Grandmother was always part of the family, and she stayed on with us for a while. I can't remember exactly how long right now....

The next thing I remember about sex, you know, was sometimes I'd sleep with my mother and sometimes I'd sleep with Grandmother, but sometimes it would happen that we all three slept together ... like if there was a lot of thunder and lightning or something. Mom always slept naked, and that black hair ... that big patch of black hair between her legs, man, that psyched the hell out of me.

Mom was warm too. You know what I mean, when it's like you get in bed naked, and there's that warm, naked body next to you ... her big tits. I didn't put my hands on them then, of course, but, man, I could feel them and that cunthair rubbing against me and I'd get a hard-on, and I didn't know shit about sex yet, but everything felt natural.

My mother had the body, man! Oh, it was great! I thought that naked body of hers was the most beautiful thing in the world. I used to wait for her to come from work, so I could have an excuse to talk and tell her about what I'd done that day, and I walked right in the bedroom with her to watch her undress. I saw her, slept with her naked almost every night, but that was still a kick. I can get psyched up now just thinking about watching her peel off that dress, and take her slip off, pull the stockings and little pantygirdle down so I could see that black hair. I think she did it on purpose] She'd leave on that brassiere until last and slip out one big tit at a time. Hell! She must have seen how psyched I was when she looked down to my trousers!

You ask me this, and it may be true. Maybe this seems sexier to me now than it was then. But I swear it had to have been sexy then! I know I was only a kid that first night I woke up with this hard-on that wouldn't go down and mother had it in her hand. She had my cock in her hand! There was a nice smile on her face, but she quit as soon as she knew I was awake. When I think about that today ... I think about a nice young mother with big tits, naked, and playing with her son's cock, I get shook, man. Oh, hell, I go all to pieces!

Mother had a lot of boyfriends, so I wondered if she was getting hot and horny with me, or just kidding around when she held my cock and rubbed it ... sometimes in her sleep. I know those boyfriends were screwing her, because I'd learned a lot about sex then from other kids talking and all. I knew she had sex with her brother once or twice a week. He was married, but he visited us a lot, you know, and they'd go in the bedroom or go out somewhere together, thinking I wasn't noticing it. I guess she was getting all her orgasms with them, and playing with me was just like kidding around at first ... until she got hung up on it over the years.

You know, we talked sex some too, like I'd say, "Mom, why don't you have a penis like me (as if I didn't know)? You only have a lot of hair down there." Well, she kidded me off without any definite answer most of the time. She said once, "Girls aren't supposed to have penises because then they'd have to pee-pee in the men's room where they have urinals against the wall." You know, she'd give me funny, joking answers like that.

She stopped joking about sex over a long period of time. She taught me the proper words for things. When I was just a kid, I knew words like "penis,"

"vagina,"

"urinate,"

"bowel movement,"

"erection." My friends used to laugh like hell at me because I didn't say "cock" or "prick," or "piss" or "shit." Hell, those kids came from good families, and I bet half of them knew the proper words. I found out later how psyched up it makes you when you use the sexy and erotic words instead.

Well, Mom had been giving me my bath every night since I had been born. It was natural to me and I never figured then it was abnormal or immoral [amoral at first, then immoral] when I was so much older. And, man, she used to love to diddle those soapsuds up around my cock and work it up hard, you know, wrapping her fingers around it and sliding 'em up and down. I don't think I creamed any until later, but I sure had those good orgasm feelings. That's when I think Mom started to know how much it meant to me. It wasn't joking or kidding and laughing anymore. There was something different, a change.

Sometimes, we took baths together and I used to play with those big tits and get a real bone on. Damn! [speaking with much feeling and excitement] I had my hands all over her titties and her ass and her thighs. And, you know, that was a strange damn thing, I somehow knew I wasn't suppose to mess between her thighs up there. I never did that until....

That was the night, man. We were in the tub together, and we both got hot as hell sudsing each other all over, and she'd stick her soapy fingers right between the cheeks of my ass, and I'd jump, and she'd try to laugh, but she was shaking from excitement. That was something different.

So when I asked her again about why she didn't have a penis, Mom rinsed us both off and she held my cock in her hand, opened up the little peehole in the head and explained how I urinated there. Then ... oh, hell, man, this really psyched me ... she was sitting squatted, Indian style there in the tub, and pulled open her pussy! First time I'd ever seen all that pink flesh, the lips and all ... and she stuck her little finger in there and fished around until she could show me the little hole where she peed.

It was more often like that in the months ahead. We'd lie in bed together. I mean with all the damn lights on too, and she'd tell me all about my penis and testicles and play with them to show me how an erection worked by the blood pumping so strong and the valve not letting it back out. And she let me feel inside of her hot, sexy pussy too, and identify the parts ... still using all the proper words, you know. Once or twice around then, she started to breathe extra heavy and get real psyched. She said something once like, "Oh, Jack, you're going to have such a handsome cock when you're a man ... very handsome ... hard...."

Yeah, I know I'm perverted and psycho and everything else, Doc, but you got to remember that I was getting at that passionate age, and there I was with a mother more beautiful than a movie actress or nude model! And she loved me too. It wasn't like something you hear a preacher or a judge shooting off about as something being so sinful and evil. This was my mother and this was all I knew. To me, this was like some other kid's mother teaching him finger painting or taking him to the zoo. Maybe it wasn't like that, but I had to think it was.

When I used to masturbate a lot, you know, all I'd think about was how warm and sexy Mother was and how good her pussy looked. I met this kid, Johnny Matthews, and we were great buddies and used to jack each other off back then, too. And I swear I used to think about Mother.

This kid taught me a lot more about sex, also, see. Johnny knew where we could go peep in windows, where some girls lived who were careless with their drapes and blinds, or a married couple you could watch fuck. He had these comic books, too, you know. There was Dick Tracy with a cock on him two feet long and fucking it into Tess Truehart's cunt, and there was Junior with it stuck in Dick's ass. Smilin' Jack's girlfriend was the one who psyched me, man ... or maybe it was his wife. She reminded me of Mother, and this fuckbook with her, man, I could sit there looking at it and beat off for hours.

Johnny had a good way for tricking girls into letting us see their pussies and assholes too. He organized this club, see, and we met out in his garage. To join it, everybody had to show everybody else where they went to the bathroom. I mean, show their cock or cunt, and their assholes. When a girl would lean over this old carpenter's horse to show her ass, Johnny would pull down her panties, and I'd wet my finger and stick it in her pussy. Man, some of those girls screamed like hell, but there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it, because they would be in a lot more trouble than we would for letting a bunch of boys screw around with them like that.

We used to watch this woman, about thirty-five, with her boyfriend. We'd hide in the alley by this garage, see, and then when they closed the blinds, we could go right up to the window and look through where the bottom blind was broken. Man, I'd never seen a mouth job before, but when I saw that pretty gal kneel down and take his cock right from his pants and suck it, I flipped!

Johnny and I, we were giving each others' pricks hell! This was a good-looking gal with sweet lips, and this guy just had his cock and balls out of his pants and she was sucking away on that thing. She was almost naked, just stockings and garterbelt. When Johnny pumped my cock faster, I shot a load onto the side of the house, but my cock never went soft We kept right at it.

Seeing so many new and perverted things for the first time ... things I didn't even know people did, man, that psyched the hell out of me! I saw the guy tense up suddenly, and the girl pulled back, so that he shot a gallon of that come on her, it looked like ... cream all over her chin and tits and more dripping down. He took his hand and milked the last few drops into her open mouth. This was crazy! Goddamn, I must have come the second time about then.

The girl stood up and was smiling and rubbing that sticky cream all over her tits, into her navel and down to her box! The guy was getting himself completely stripped and then he lay naked on the bed, right on top of the girl, and they squirmed their bodies all around together in that come, and I saw his cock moving up again. Damn!

He started sliding down her belly until he was in between those beautiful, naked legs. He twisted himself around until he was in a sixty-nine position with her, sort of, and from where we were watching, we could see him open up that gal's pussy, and the inside was just like Mother's. Damn! I could even watch his tongue go all around in it and watch her move her ass and we could hear her scream from loving his cuntlapping so much.

That guy's cock started to get up a bone again, and the gal grabbed it and sucked it down into her throat. She wasn't going to be left out that time. She wanted to eat that man's cream! Goddamn! When they came together, their bodies were humping all over that bed, and I could see her juice draining down the guy's chin and his Adam's apple gulping away about as fast as hers. There was only a little bit of cream I saw seeping out her lips and around his cock. Man, I blasted off again!

Mother was still the only female I was having sex contact with all this time, but I was getting to know a lot about perverted sex. I got to liking it more and more when Johnny and I masturbated together, and I think right then was about the time I wanted to suck a cock too.

Wally, my seventeen-year-old boy cousin, came along about then, too. You know, for a visit one summer; and, hell, he thought he was going to show me something, thought I was a stupid little jerk of a kid. One night we were horsing around alone. Mother was out getting fucked by her brother ... that was Wally's father, and the guy says he's going to show me something wild.

Shit! Wally took out his cock, and I mean it was six inches at least! He worked it up to a good hard and talked about how he went through the parks and playgrounds (he lived about forty miles away in a good-sized town like ours) and would get these cute Utile black girls to suck him off for only a dollar, and how he'd suck their little pussies. One girl had big tits on her and charged him an extra quarter to suck them. Johnny said some of the girls closer to his age, they let him suck their cunts for nothing. One girl with a real body brought her black boyfriend along and he got sucked off by Johnny after she had her turn, and the boyfriend was so goddamn hot because he had been watching it and playing with his cock.

When he was telling me this, Wally kept beating his cock until he shot off in a coffee mug. That was really something, man, to see that big cock throw the cream in that cup. It made me think: when those guys were fucking Mother all the time, they were shooting all that stuff into her pussy. It made me jealous.

You know, you think from what I tell you, I was a child pervert, but it was really a pretty long time before I started doing the real things. And I was a pretty normal kid in other ways. Hell, I played good ball and the teams used to fight over me for a linebacker, man. I could block like hell and break his leg when I brought the other team's ball carrier down. Then ... what the shit ... the next day I'd be giving him a blow job because he sure couldn't fuck a girl with that big leg cast on.

It was all juvenile stuff, kids messing around with our cocks and talking about sex. In fact, we were afraid to do much to each other except for masturbating and a little suck off every once in a while.

About that time, Mom got to where she was pretty careless about her boyfriends when I was around. I think she was drinking a little too much, you know, and just never paid much attention. She'd stay in the bedroom with some guy over an hour, and I'd see her come out in just a see-through babydoll and go to the kitchen and get some ice. Once or twice, I saw her slip from her bedroom to the bathroom mother naked except for a big towel she was holding up at the top of her thighs ... to keep from drooling out some guys load, I guess.

I'll never forget one night when I woke up about one in the morning and sneaked out in the hall and peeked into the living room where I could hear her saying, "Oh, darling ... darling! Eat me more ... just one more bingo from your tongue, darling. Then ... oh, God that feels good ... keep it up! Then ... I'll drink you off ... suck out every drop of your come ... darling...."

Damn! My cock just about ripped through my pajamas getting up a bone ... just from hearing her talk, saying those things, the damn sexy way she was talking and moaning and carrying on. What I saw, made me slip my fingers around my cock and move it a little. Her brother was down there on his knees on the floor, and Mother was sitting on the couch with her legs spread and her cunt right up to the edge. My uncle was lapping and sucking and licking, making a hell of a lot of sexy slush sounds. But Mother! Oh, damn, she was naked and rolling her head back and forth and crying with joy. She had one finger trying to compete with her brother's tongue in holding her box open at top and working her clit. With the other hand, she was squeezing the shit out of her left tit and pinching the nipple until it was twice as red as the other one. The room was lit up ... every damn light on. She always did like to be able to see everything sexy too.

Well, my uncle didn't want his cock sucked, I guess, because when Mother came again, he came up from the floor with a hell of a hard cock and turned her around on the couch and rammed it to her. Mother let out a godawful scream, but it wasn't because she was hurting. I heard her say, "Oh, God, I love your cock. Nobody can fuck ... old-fashioned, wonderful fuck like you can." And then he said, "I'm gonna fuck you for a half hour, sis. Godamnit, you got the best fucking ass anywhere ... never get any as good as this ... at home. Whew! Let me soak it a minute. I was about to shoot."

In a few minutes, they were fucking up a storm again. I could see that cock going in and out of her pussy ... and she kept shoving it up to him. (I liked it better when I could see part of Mother's pussy, like the lips moving in and out and the hair). I jerked off right there and held it in my hand until I sneaked back to my bedroom and dried it off with tissues. Hell, I had to jack off two more times before I could go to sleep that night.

Watching that and thinking about it ... oh, shit, that psyched me up more than anything. Oh, hell, I know I say that all the time. But, you know, like now-when I do think about watching that-I'd never seen people up that close fucking before ... and watching Mother's own brother fucking her and eating her. It made me jealous, but not angry or hateful. I just loved to watch Mom enjoy that so much, and I knew that someday, I was going to be fucking her like a man too.

After that, Mother's pussy was the sexiest thing in the world to me. What I used to do to get psyched up enough to go crazy, man ... and I don't know how much Mother knew what I was doing ... right after she'd been with a lover, I'd come in her bedroom and put my head down in her lap. Oh, man, I could smell the sex that had been going on ... she was still moist, and that odor after she'd been screwing with her brother a long time, that used to blow my fucking mind!

You know one of my big fetish kicks is looking up women's or girls' dresses from the time I was old enough to remember and lay there on the floor looking up at grandmother's legs and her ass, but I didn't know what the hell it was all about then.

Later on, when I was still a young kid, I used to sit or squat when Mom leaned over, I could see up her ass. You know, I'd been naked with her and everything, but that looking up her dress, especially if she had on stockings and no panties, even if she had on panties and I could see those black hairs sticking out at the crotch ... oh, that used to get me so goddamn hot I'd play with myself. And I know she watched me sometimes.

I think that really psyched her too, how I couldn't keep my eyes off her body. That woman had the sexiest body of any woman ever lived. You know, I've been to the Pacific, Africa, Europe ... I've been about all over the world in the damn Navy, man, and I've been searching and searching for a body like that. Oh, I've found some good, nice, fuckable bodies and heads, and I'll tell you about them after I get over all this teenage stuff. But it had to be a combination ... a whole bunch of things like her personality and that close, sexy relationship. It has to be all of those things if a woman is going to give me all I want. And there isn't a woman in this world who has everything like mother ... mother had.

I must have been only about fourteen or fifteen that first time she just out and called me into the bedroom when this guy Tony was fucking her. Mom drank like a fish, you know ... alcoholic. Maybe that's why she did all this ... and with me, too. She was drunk that first time I crawled in bed with her and Tony, and I was pretty excited ... big hard-on, because I could be right there two inches away from this guy's big cock slipping in and out of her beautiful cunt so nice.

Oh, man, I was getting turned on to some new activities, and I thought this would be the greatest. But it was only the beginning!