Chapter 11

"Howdy, friend."

Bernie opened his eyes, awakened by the voice. For a moment he stared blankly at the figure on his black leather chair.

"Who are you?" Bernie said, but even as he said it he realized the question was unnecessary.

"Ah hope you don't mind, Ah helped myself to a little drink here," Cy said, gesturing with a glass. He smiled warmly. "Looks like there mightta been a little party here earlier tonight. Little celebration, huh?"

Bernie didn't respond, but pushed himself to a sitting position on the couch. Even as he moved he felt the blood rush to his head and surge through, beating dully, steadily, against the back of his neck. He rubbed his temples. He had hoped the morning would be back before he came to. He couldn't remember why, but he knew he'd wanted desperately to avoid the night.

He got up and moved cautiously down the hallway to the bathroom to pour water on his neck and cool the blood that seemed to be pushing faster with each moment.

"Little tipsy, eh?" Cy chuckled. "Boy, Ah should be too. We had some celebration!" He continued talking after Bernie disappeared into the bathroom. "Say, you shouldda come along with us. We had ourselves a time. You shouldda seen them gals living it up. Made a day of it. Regular family outing." Cy laughed loudly. "Yes sir, you shouldda seen that gal go!" He took a sip of his drink. "Ah almost forgot how good that stuff was. Almost makes a man forget what he came for.

"We had a big feed at one of those spots on the main drag. Them kids had chicken." He laughed. "Boy, you shouldda seen 'em go after that ole bird! That's fun to watch." His grin broadened and his thick brows slid together as he talked. "Yes sir, you shouldda seen them tear after that stuff. Enthusiasm, that's what Ah call it-real enthusiasm!

"'Course, back home we get so damn much chicken. Man comes away, likes to try something a little different."

Bernie emerged from the bathroom, passing Cy, and headed into the kitchenette. His face was still wet and beads of water streaked down his cheeks. He began searching his refrigerator for some milk.

"Hope you don't mind my busting in like this," Cy said. "Door was open so Ah just came right on in."

"I don't mind," Bernie said blankly. He was still too drunk to give a damn about anything.

"Man gets kinda lonesome sittin' in the BelPlaines Motel. Ain't like back home, you know, where you know a lot of people and can get things done quick. Here, you gotta walk around and look in all different places. 'Course, in my line of business, you learn lots of tricks, you know."

Bernie nodded slightly, though he didn't have any idea what the man was saying. He was only aware of a new tide of vinegar threatening just behind his throat. If he just waited, the man would go away. If he could just hold out....

"You learn to spot what you're looking for," the big man continued. "There's signs, you know. Ah can tell. Ah dealt with 'em all my life." He laughed loudly. "Hell, they might as well be wearin' 'em in big neon lights."

Bernie blinked his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said simply.

"Just gassing. Just gassing about my line of business," the big man said and he w-edged himself into one of the wrought-iron barstools.

"I'm sorry," Bernie managed, "I'm afraid I'm not very good company. I don't feel well."

"That's all right, fella," Cy said laughing. "Ah know how it is. Ah been down that road, hell, how many times?" He pointed a thick, red finger at Bernie. "But you're smart. You do your drinkin' at home. That's smart. If you wanna play around, you get yourself a nice place like this, nice and cozy-like, and you ain't got nothin' to worry about. We got a sayin' in my line of business. We say, two is hearsay-three's a fact."

Cy laughed at this and looked at Bernie for response.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bernie heard himself say.

"Just gassing, boy," Cy said with a gesture. "Oh, Ah run into all kinds in my time. Sometimes, just for a kick, we'd cruise around the downtown area-me and another fella-and we'd pick up some of these guys. You wanna see something funny, you wanna see some white-faced scared boys when old Cy steps outta the car and says, 'All right, fella, let's see some I.D.'"

Bernie frowned. I.D. You wanna see my I.D.? You wanna see my-Hey, lookee here! All set up and waitin'! Enthusiasm, real enthusiasm ... Bernie winced, confused, and tried to remember.

"Hell, it ain't only back home," the big man said, "Like, last night, for example. Ah took me a walk downtown, kinda lookin' around. A man gets restless sittin' in the Bel-Plaines Motel. Ah see them all standin' on the street corners or settin' on the bus-bench like they're waitin' for a bus. Standin' in their white pants, waiting for some rich bastard in his fancy car to come circlin' around. Settin' there with their knees spread apart-settin' there like they just don't give a damn for nothin' and waitin' for that ole car to come circlin' back sure as hell!

"Course, back home, you know 'em. You want somethin' done you use 'em. Just takes the right amount of cash. And that amount don't have to be much. They got neon signs flashin' on and off just like the rest of the come-on-and-buy signs flashin' up and down the street!"

"Ah do believe," Cy said and he laughed. "Ah do believe this liquor is workin' mah tongue right off its hinges." He picked up the bottle. "You don't mind if Ah just kill this bottle?"

"I don't mind."

"Care for a snort?"

"No."

"You go downtown very much?"

"Sometimes."

"Do a little shoppin', eh?" He laughed.

Bernie opened his mouth to speak.

"Oh, no," the big man said, cutting him off. "You work downtown, don't you? In the restaurant business, if Ah'm not mistaken."

"Look-Cy," Bernie said, trying desperately to keep control. "I don't know what you're driving at, but I wish you would go! I'm sorry, but I wish to hell you'd leave!"

"Well now," Cy said, moving as though to rise, "As a matter-of-fact, Ah was just about to. Ah didn't mean to rile you up with my gassin' here. Ah guess Ah didn't realize how sick you are, boy."

"I'm not-sick!"

"Well now, Ah don't know about that," the man said. Ah wouldn't be too sure. Ah might know a little more about these things than a lot of folks, being in my-"

"I'm not sick!"

"-line of business, and it seems to me you might be better off back in Chicago." He nodded sagely. "Yes sir, Ah believe you might be better off there where your folks can kinda look after you." He got up, finishing the last of his drink, then turned back to Bernie again. "And Ah believe it might be best to take that boy of yours back there with you. Ah believe that might be best for everyone all the way around!"

"I'm not sick!"

"Ah say you are!" the big man roared. "Ah say you must be sick. Ah say, a man who would take that boy-a seventeen-year-old boy across the state line outta the state of Illinois into the state of Arizona is sick. Ah say a man who ain't no legal guardian, who ain't no uncle, who ain't no blood relative at all, who takes a seventeen-year-old boy into his house and feeds him and buys him presents and keeps him lock, stock, and barrel is sick! Ah say that man, he damn well better be sick."

"That's a lie!"

"No, boy, that's a fact!"

Bernie shook his head wildly. He felt the fury raging inside him. He clenched his hands together and realized his strength.

"I never in my life touched that boy!"

"That may be the fact," the man said, grinning.

"It is!" Bernie searched the face that smiled at him and shook his head at the thick lips that curled upward, deliberately saying something with their silence.

"I never in my life-touched-anyone-that way!"

"Is that a fact?"

"It is!" Bernie turned away finally, unable to stand that grin any longer. "I swear to God!" He backed away, into the kitchenette. "I swear to God!" He moved along the cupboard, desperately touching things, speaking to the cupboard doors, to his refrigerator, to his range and the glasses and the water faucet and the ceiling. "I swear to God!" And he suddenly spun around and slammed his fists on the counter top.

"What are you trying to do to me?" he said harshly, "My God, what are you trying to do to me...?"

Rose stood her full height in the doorway and there was strength in her eyes. She stared at the big man, her face white with anger. The big man only frowned, openly showing his displeasure at being interrupted.

"What are you doing here," he said and Bernie's question was left unanswered.

"You said you'd stay with me," Rose said, trembling with anger. "Ah called the Bel-Plaines Motel and you weren't there. So Ah came here."

"Well, you go back there and wait, hear?" Cy said.

"No, Ah'm not going back there. Ah'm never going back there. Ah want to talk to you, Cy-right here and now. Ah want to know what you told those children."

"Ah didn't say nothin'," Cy said. Then he frowned because her strength, such as it was, had evinced a denial from him. He scowled impatiently, trying to regain his advantage. "Now, you get outta here," he said.

"Ah want to know what you said to that girl." Rose said, suddenly grabbing his sleeve and jerking it violently. "Do you hear me? Ah want to know what you told that child."

Cy spun around, freeing himself, and he raised an arm.

"Don't grab at me, goddammit, or Ah'll slap you on your ass! Ah told her facts, that's what Ah told her!"

"Lies!" Rose screamed.

"Ah told her facts," Cy hissed. "Ah know what the hell Ah'm talkin' about!" He flashed a look at Bernie and suddenly Bernie remembered his question. What are you trying to do to me? What? What? What did you tell that girl? Oh my God!

"Now, you get outta here, or shut up-hear?" Cy said. "You had your chance. Now Ah'm takin' over!"

He pushed Rose away and she sank on the couch, defeated.

"What kind of dirty man are you?" she said and her hands moved up, covering her face.

"Don't call me dirt," the big man said, paling. Ah'll tell you what dirt is." As he spoke, he looked at Bernie. "Ah'll tell you what dirt is, Rose. There's things goin' on in this place that would make your hair turn back to its nat'ral color. That's what Ah'll tell you about dirt."

"That's not true," Bernie snapped.

"Ah don't say nothin', boy, unless Ah know it for a fact!"

"Not true!"

"Maybe it is and maybe it ain't," he said. "There's some folks that might believe it is. There's a fella Ah happen to know, for example, who might believe it is. A young fella from Odessa, Texas, who Ah happened to make an acquaintance with while Ah was walkin' around downtown last night. You might know this fella. A real operator-took me for a chunk of cash to find out something. He found out all right. He found out for hisself whether it is or whether it ain't-You know who Ah'm talkin' about? Fella named Jack? You know anybody named Jack? You know any Jacks, boy?-Ah'm askin' you a question about r boy named Jack who might believe it is a fact!"

For a moment Bernie stood rigid, his breath lost somewhere deep inside him as realization rushed in, suddenly, horribly clear. Bernie cried aloud. It was an animal cry, foreign even to his own ears, and with it spewed out his strength. His fists were gone and instead his fingers curled like talons, raised in front of him harmlessly and they struck out while the big man laughed and stepped aside and watched him move blindly up the hallway for escape.

"Ah figured you might recollect that particular boy," Cy called after him.

"Why?" Rose said wearily, "Just tell me why!"

"What d'you mean, why? You didn't think Ah was gonna stand by and watch, did you? Did you think Ah was gonna stand by and watch while that punk kid moved into my little gal?" He laughed bitterly. "You don't know me too well, Rose."

"What are you saying?"

"You think that's what Ah worked for? Worked my ass off for twenty-two years on the police force of Macon, Georgia, to produce a good lay for some wide-eyed Spic kid to get his rocks off on? You don't know me too well. Ol' Cy don't smile and say, 'ain't that nice' when some little gutter-rat from the south side of Chicago says to me, 'Ah'm gonna make you a grandpa. Yes sir, Ah'm gonna make you a grandpa whether you like it or not!' "

"You promised me," Rose said. "You promised you wouldn't make trouble!"

"Ah didn't promise nothin'!" Cy said, turning away.

"Yes you did," Rose shouted. "While Ah was layin' in your arms you promised me! That was the only reason Ah let you-"

"What are you talkin' about?" He said sharply.

"That was the only reason!"

"A lie!" He spat, his eyes suddenly narrowed. "You wanted it. That was the reason."

"Ah never did," she said. "Why can't you understand that? Ah never in my life wanted you!"

She turned and bolted out the doorway. She heard his footsteps behind her and she yelled, stupidly, wildly, and ran down the drive to her car parked at the curb.

"You come back here, gal!" he shouted. "You hear me, Rose?" He moved forward down the middle of the street, following the diminishing red taillights of her car, his arms stretched out toward it while he trembled with humiliation and mounting rage.

"Ah'm telling you to come back here!" he screamed....

In his dressing room Bernie tried to recapture his balance or at least his breathing. In his madness things were distorted, ordinary things, and he stood for a long time as though he had discovered some new place. He looked about, wondering, his distraction causing the blood to ebb, making room for the air that slid audibly into his throat.

The sound of his breathing held him suspended while his eyes slowly scanned the walls, the bureau, seeing as though for the first time the tangle of clothes and boxes and the wire hangers and the suitcase carefully packed.

Suddenly he kicked it with his foot, scattering the clothes. He reached past them through the debris into a corner of the closet, pushing things aside until he found the rifle.

"Now!" he said and he was laughing. "Now I'll kill you." Even as he emerged from the dressing room he realized he was alone. "So help me God, I'll kill you!"

He sank to the floor, repeating his vow and the rifle lay harmlessly across his lap.