Chapter 12
It was easier than she thought.
She blanked out again and tried to go straight back to where she had been with the woman who called herself her mother. But she couldn't find her, of course. Something told her that any more information gained from the relationship with her mother would come from her own hard work. But if she couldn't get away and sober up-
"Here-"
She shivered as a wet rag covered her face. It was cold and she sat up sputtering.
"You're coming around, huh?"
She opened her eyes and peered wetly out at the solicitous Velda.
"I-I'm all right," she said.
"Do you think you can drive?"
"I-I don't know."
"Stand up."
Velda helped her to her feet. Her hands on her body were warm as she guided her across the room.
It wasn't the steadiest she had ever walked and her mind was such a jumble that she had trouble coordinating but she made it.
"OK," Velda said. "You can make it if you go slow. Now get your clothes on."
Pat stared at her a moment confused.
"What's the matter?" Velda demanded.
"I-I didn't know how I was going to get away. I certainly didn't expect help from you."
Velda smiled at her gently.
"You were nice to lay," she said, "but you don't belong in this crowd."
"Oh."
"Johnny and Gary get carried away sometimes and you've had enough for one night."
"I know."
"OK, then write it down to charity but get your clothes on and get out of here. It could get a little sticky if they come back and find you on your way out.
"But what will they do to you?"
"Damned little. I've known those two a long time. When I get through lecturing them, they'll wish they'd never seen you. But I have to get you out of the picture first. So move!"
Velda gave her a slap, on the butt to emphasize her words and Pat got her dress and slipped into it and pulled on her coat.
She walked to the door and paused a moment to stare at the dark-haired woman by the bed.
"Thank you," she said.
"It's all right," Velda told her. "You were nice. Look, I don't know what's bothering you but find someone to talk to and get it straightened out. You're too nice a kid to go off the deep end."
"I'll try," Pat said.
"That's all it takes. Now get out of here."
Pat turned and went out the door and suddenly panic seized her. She was back out in the night, body aching, half drunk. Where should she go?
She got into the car and started it and, still not knowing where she was going, turned onto the highway and headed back to where she had come from.
Where am I going? She wondered. Her body was a single solid ache. Behind her where Gary had done his work, she felt bruised and moist. She wondered if she were bleeding.
But most of all she felt degraded. She had been used like a plastic doll. She had hoped for recognition and concern and had gotten neither, only abuse.
Somewhere she knew that this night, with these three strangers, she had reached the very bottom of her life.
Perhaps it was only that that kept her moving now. The thought that there was no way to go but up.
But where to go? She had to have some rest and then she would try to sort it out. She knew that the dream about her mother was important, that it might be the link in the chain that she had never understood. She felt her mind churning and was near hysteria again.
Where to go?
Certainly not to Gerald. He wanted only the assured Patricia and she couldn't be that in this condition. Besides she had run away.
Randy?
No, Patty was his woman and she was incapable of becoming Patty in her present shape-even for an instant. Bob Haines.
Panic filled her at the very thought. Then where to go?
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the memory of the encounter with Laurie came to her, and she saw the brown gamin face come swimming up into her consciousness.
By this time, she was on the edge of town. The memory of tenderness filled her. Yes, in her own way Laurie cared.
It was late. Already the night was greying into morning. She would have to wake her. Thank goodness she knew where Laurie's place was. She had picked her up there more than once for assignments.