Chapter 4
Cindy's Come to Stay
"The apartment was hot and musty, and under that was the slightest hint of paint, as if the walls had been given their newest coat before the other coats had quite dried. But it was a faded smell now, more a smell of age and sickness and death, as if hasty repairs had been made to cover old mistakes, and the new tenants sensed them and made new mistakes. "You mean she's come to stay?" the woman's voice grated in the next room, and I wondered if I was the newest mistake. "She's crazy! And you're crazy, too. Even this is better than jail!"
"I wondered if I was crazy, like Marlene said. I'd been called that before, but those other times my so-called 'genius' had explained it all away. Only this time no one was calling me anything but crazy. No saving grace at all. I wondered, then, how it might feel to be sane, if what I was insane. But Marlene was calling Jack insane, too, and if that's what he was, then all the men I'd known were also crazy, because his sickness was the word I'd once read and loved on the spot-lust.
"Jack lusted for me. That's the way I'd write it, if I was a writer. He did, too, and he wasn't the only one. I liked that, because somehow it brought my body right up there along with my oh-so-mature mind, and together we could lust for each other. Alone. But that doesn't make much sense, I suppose.
"Maybe it would make more if I started at the start. If there is such a thing. We'll start with me. I'm thirteen. Almost. Next month, but they don't know it. They think I'm sixteen, almost. I look it, if you don't look too closely. I have a big-girl expression in my patchwork multicolor eyes, and my brown hair is long and well-cut and ageless. I have a full, 'kissable' mouth, a nice long swan's neck, and a body which is definitely in the over-thirteen bracket. I wouldn't be able to buy cigarettes or a drink-I wouldn't want you to think I didn't have a realistic image of myself-but you would not want me to play with your thirteen-year-old son, either. Your eighteen-year-old maybe, if he had never looked at a girl and you were beginning to get worried.
"I have an older sister, and Fritzie was mother, father, sister and playmate to me. She was not brilliant, yet she had everything. She had a dozen years on me, a husband, a house, a car, a houseful of friends at all times, and, most of all, a body which attracted and tempted many men. Oh, she was not a tramp. No, my sister knew how to get the most out of anything. No, she was faithful to her husband. Faithful Fritzie, ever loving, ever loyal. But he was not. Her husband Chuck was my first lover ...
"My parents couldn't tolerate me. Call it a personality-power clash, if you will. From the time I was two, I enjoyed running little games on them. I'd like to see how easily I could make them and every time they did as I knew were going to, I'd laugh and laugh. By the time I was seven I was able to make them jump at a word, and by nine I was moved into Fritzie's house, and it was understood that my life with the folks was over. So be it. Groovy.
"Now back to the sex part. I have this thinking thing, see. Like I'm always thinking, always spinning those wheels, and sometimes it's more than I can stand. Then Chuck came home a little drunk one night when I was eleven, and it happened to be a night when Fritzie was out somewhere, and before she came home I had learned how to make those damn wheels stop moving ... He was not terrible. Don't think of some big, hairy rapist attacking a little girl. Oh, no. I was wanting to be touched, to feel, to be felt, to be involved, long before he saw me naked in my room that night.
"The thing he never knew about that night is how I heard him come in and posed naked by the open door as he came up the stairs. I pretended that I didn't hear him arrive home, but I did. I wanted to smile at his look of surprise and then, yes, lust, as he checked out my small but maturing figure. Oh, yes, it was the body of a young girl, but even then I knew with a knowing that came with my desire, I just knew that I could get him to want me.
"It was helpful that he had had too much to drink. Most helpful. I stared up at him with a tempting innocence which asked how long it had been since he had tasted untouched, young flesh, and his body answered never, never this young, never this untouched, and I opened my arms, unfolding my virgin wings-the mind hadn't stopped yet-and he stepped into them, to think forever after that it was all his idea, every bit of it, and he could enjoy a belch of guilt with each memory of that first time.
"He was beginning the feast then, and there was only the doing and none of the remembering. His hands closed over each of my little breasts, clothing them with flesh, growing excited by the touch and the heat and the thought. My blurred flat nipples caught fire and bristled at the touch, and they ached sweetly and wanted much more. His belly was flat against mine, and his clothing was scratchy and not as nice as his flesh would be, arid knowing this, he undressed. It was as if time had no part in our play, and Fritzie didn't exist, and afterwards could never happen to us. We kissed and touched and loved, and his tongue was a devil trying to get me from the inside, and I found I, too, had a little devil, and he came out to play. Chuck's hand was urgent on my child cunt, but I was less a child in moments, and he grew less gentle. Then his mouth somehow found that aching, changing sex spot, and he was kissing, licking, using his mouth, oh, God, his mouth! And I felt the mind-wheels bog down in the muck of that pleasure, slow and catch and finally stop, and I was free at last, and all I knew was joy ...
"He licked me completely, from the creamy little mound to the quivering cheeks of my bottom, and he kept tonguing some magic place that made me twitch all over. It was all happening under the rosy lens of my mindless feeling, and all I could do was whisper up at him, like a cracked record, "Oh, you're licking me all over! You're licking me all over!"
"How he picked the moment to stop his tongue witchery and crawl over my heated flesh I do not know or care, but somehow it was the right one, the best one. I had no conscious recollection of curiosity over his sexual equipment, his cock, but I felt it snake between my thighs, and that was enough. I opened my petals and let him enter me, and I felt the pain and I let it wash over me, and when it was gone I felt the pleasure, and I bathed in that more slowly. But then there was such a lot of it.
"Oh, my God, Cindy ... " he groaned like the cowboys in the death scene, "I'm into your tight little cunt!"
"He said it like it was a miracle, and it was, and he pushed in and out of me, and on every stroke I felt I would burst and I didn't care, and I felt I would die of happiness, and that was all right, too.
"Chuck fucked me like it was his art, that first time, and I guess it was. He used his prick like a magic wand, stroking me places I never knew had to be stroked. It was ecstatic and sweet and frantic, all at once, and when he finally recoiled his entire being and spat the fury of his seed into me, I hugged him tightly, loving him for the marvelous moment.
"I didn't come the first seven times we fucked. That happened within a month, because after that, every chance Chuck could, he managed to get me alone. It was never quite the same, though, because he knew he was going to and the first time it just happened. He didn't look into my eyes any more, but still it was good, and I was happy.
"As time passed I let more and more boys and men share those moments with me. Oh, I don't mean an army of them, but once Chuck got me those pills I take every day, well, I felt free to go find a stranger who would take me somewhere. It was fine, and I really felt odd moments of total happiness.
"It would not have been so bad if things had kept on as they were for a few more years. But Chuck began to watch me like a hawk. He wanted to know everywhere I went and who I was with, and why he hadn't been able to locate me when he called. He suspected-he knew!-I wasn't the faithful thing Fritzie was, and it drove him insane, knowing I might be in another man's bed at any given moment. Once, to tease him, I hitched a ride with a man when I was on my way to meet Chuck, and I persuaded the man to fuck me quickly in the back seat of his car. Then, when Chuck jammed his tongue into me, he knew what I'd done, and it was difficult to hide my amusement at his rage.
"It wasn't funny any too long, though, because that unfunny man decided he was wildly in love with me and couldn't live without me. Yes, there was a sense of joy at the victory, but I didn't want to take him from my sister. Fritzie loved me! I mean real love. She didn't even want anything from me. So I knew I would have to go away.
"Knowing how hurt, worried and upset Fritzie would be, I left a note about secretly getting a job far away and I promised to send her the money I took from her jar over the refrigerator. I left when everyone was asleep, and I had no plan. I knew that, if I didn't go, soon Chuck would go to Fritzie and tell her, and it would all be over. Gone, Chuck would soon forget me and concentrate on his wife, and I wanted to send a tear for my noble sacrifice, especially when I saw how cold and dark it was outside.
"I really did feel a little uneasy, and more like not-quite-thirteen than ever in my life. But I took a bus to the next town, then worked my way over to the railroad station, and I bought a ticket to the nearest big city from a disinterested ticket agent who must have known I was a runaway.
"The next week was a dream-reality, and it ran together in such a way that it was like a movie spliced together by a madman. I kept wondering what to do, and meeting men who had definite ideas about what to do, and we kept doing them. I ate and I slept and I saw the city, and I found myself at the outskirts of the city one cold evening when the haze cleared.
"I sat at a little outside table hot-dog stand, nursing a cup of coffee I had bought because it was warm. I held the cup under my chin and used the steam to heat my face, and I felt alone and frightened, and although I still had a few dollars, I had nowhere to go.
"The juke-box inside started to play, and the sound poured onto the little terrace where I sat hugging my coffee. Then the guy who sold me my coffee came out with the pot in his hand and started refilling my cup. My hands trembled a little as the welcome heat warmed the ceramic cup, and I smiled up at him gratefully.
"Cold out, huh?" His lips curved but his eyes were intense.
I nodded.
"Don't you have anywhere to go?" he asked shrewdly, resting the pot on the wooden table top. He was somewhere in his thirties, and was sort of ugly, in a crude, prize-fighter way, an ugliness which also made him very attractive and masculine.
"I decided to risk it. "Nope."
"He sat down, then got up and went back for a cup for himself. Meanwhile I downed as much of the bitter coffee as I could, letting it burn my frozen insides. He came back, poured coffee for both of us, and took a sip. He lit a cigarette. "You in some kind of trouble?"
"It was too funny. It was like being in some kind of a movie. I decided to play it that way. "Yeah. I'm trying to find a place to stay. I had a big fight with my boyfriend, and I ripped off some change from his wallet so I could split. I think he called the man on me. And now I'm running out of bread." I gave myself an instant replay and decided to give myself an 'A' on acting but a 'C-minus' on story.
"The guy seemed to be considering my performance, too. Then he smiled. "I'm Jack." He winked.
"My name's Cindy. Hi, Jack."
"Hi, Cindy. You wanna go inside where it's warm? You can sit back there while I clean up this dump. It won't take long."
"I nodded and let him carry my coffee cup inside. It was so cozy and warm in there that I even accepted a hot butterscotch sundae from Jack. After I was finished I went into the little back room to help Jack with something. That little something turned out to be a great big crazy hard on.
"I returned his tongue-filled kisses and dropped my hand to his fly. It was there, all right, and I unzipped him and started playing with it even before he touched me anywhere. Oh, it was good, and I wondered what it would be like to taste it covered with butterscotch sauce, and then I remembered that I was still tasting butterscotch from the sundae, so I bent over and began to suck on him.
"His cock was long and thick and it had a great big hard-candy head on it, and I forgot about the butterscotch as I sucked and licked. It was a good hot, sweaty taste, and I felt myself go all warm and wet inside as I gloved it with my smooth-walled mouth. I liked the way he grabbed handfuls of my hair and called me a sweet little cocksucker, and I liked the way he began to feel me all over, under and over my clothing, and finally I was that mindless fuck doll again, and words tumbled out of my mouth, and I asked him to please, please fuck me, but I didn't really mind when he forced me back on his cock and shot a mouthful of come into my sucking mouth.
"By the time we left the little back room Jack was bug-eyed with the wild suck I'd given him, and I was all juicy and ready for more. "How the fuck old are you, honey?" he mumbled, and when he heard my lie, he looked uncertain.
"Jack seemed a little dazed as he closed down the store. "I'm taking you home to my old lady. She'll give you a decent meal and you can get some sleep." He must have seen the look on my face. "Don't sweat it. She's a good chick. Has to be told off every so often, but she's a good momma. She'll love that cute little twat of yours, Cindy."
"Curious, I got into his car and we drove to the ancient apartment near the stand. Marlene met us at the door. She was tall and big breasted, with glossy long hair and a pretty, though slightly hard face. She didn't look at all happy to see me, but I felt perfectly comfortable. The rest was their problem.
"Jack was the law in that household, and I'd heard the word 'masochism' at the same time I'd read about lust, and I spotted and pinned Marlene at once. It was with the same knowing I had about everything to do with sex. I could see it in those big beautiful eyes of hers, and in the way Jack was with her, and in the way she looked at me. "Get her some food," Jack ordered, pushing her toward the stove.
"Who is she?" Her voice was husky and sexy, even with all the hostility.
"A new cunt! What the hell do you care who she is! Get the food!" He glared at her but I could tell he wasn't annoyed in the least. It was like an act they were doing, but I could also sense a hot something between them, an excitement, as if they'd done this thing before or something much like it, and everything they did was a part of a larger thing which somehow ended up in ecstasy for both. It was just a feeling, but I wanted to watch it all come together as I knew it would.
"What do we want with a new chick? A kid! Beat it, sister. Go find a little boy somewhere to play house with!" Marlene stood over me, her arms crossed over those enormous tits of hers.
"I calmly reached up and squeezed her breasts. "They're real, huh?"
"Jack began to laugh. He laughed so hard tears came spilling out of the corners of his eyes. But Marlene didn't think it was so funny. She began to scream and curse at me, and she didn't stop until Jack, still laughing, got up, come over to her, and smacked her hard across her face.
"The woman gasped and touched her cheek, and a warm flush spread over her face. Her eyes glittered hotly and I felt a little thrill of pleasure at my own perceptiveness-the lady dug it!
"I was still hot all over from sucking Jack off and not getting anything in return. Now the sickly stinking apartment had a new smell, and I breathed in deeply the sudden hint of sexual desire in the room.
"Now get the food, Marlene. Then we'll relax and have some fun." Jack said softly.
"My mouth was dry and it was an effort to speak. I licked my bottom lip. "I'm not all that red-hot hungry."
"You already had a little something, huh?" Jack asked, looking at me, grinning, remembering. "Well, I want some of that good food you toss together, Marlene, so give me a little and I'll give you a lot."
"I watched Marlene begin to prepare a cheesy macaroni plate, and I knew I needed to rest a little. "Wake me when you're done," I yawned, heading for an open door which showed a corner of a bed in the next room.
"The bed was rumpled and the sheets held last night's sweat and soil, but it was warm and cozy and people-smelling, and I was instantly asleep.
"I awoke to Marlene's complaining voice. I heard a distant hissing of a heater, and I kicked off the blankets and couldn't imagine I'd been so cold only an hour earlier.
"Marlene was goading Jack, telling him about his mistake in bringing me home, and I listened to her building and building towards trouble, and I recalled the surprising sensuality of her desire to be put down.
"It didn't take long for Jack to react, I heard the sharp crack of his hand and Marlene's gasp, and then I stepped into the other room. Marlene was touching her cheek and Jack was feeling her tits, and both kind of smiled at me. They wanted to use the bedroom, so we went in there.
"I knew I was in for something a little different this time ... "
Cindy, the present subject, is an entirely different order of business from the other runaway children encountered in this study. Their problems were largely precipitated by older people, in a world which their immature emotional equipment proved inadequate to handle. Hers-to speak on the immediate level, at any rate-is at least partly of her own making.
Cindy can be described by a word coined by Vladimir Nabokov in his tragi-comic novel Lolita: she is a "nymphet." Nabokov's famous study of pedophilia contains one aspect which the protagonist, Humbert Humbert, keeps harping upon in his defense (he is on trial for sex offenses against his stepdaughter, a pre-teen-aged girl):
I had thought (Humbert pleads) that months, perhaps years, would elapse before I dared to reveal myself to Delores Haze; but by six she was wide awake, and by six fifteen we were technically lovers. I am going to tell you something very strange: it was she who seduced me.
Nabokov's novel-banned in many place's in its time-became an international bestseller. It also became such a byword in the upper-middle-class circles where psychiatric terms are bandied about (whether accurately or not) that some psychiatrists and science writers cite the novel as an interesting reference in popular articles on pedophilia and juvenile delinquency. One might, without being obscure in any way, refer to pedophilia as a sort of 'Humbert syndrome' and to gerontophilia (its mirror opposite) as a "Lolita syndrome." Howard Whitman has this to say of the book in The Sex Age:
A review in Time magazine said of Lolita, "As an exploration of the secret places of the heart, mind and spirit, ruled by terrible private devils, it moves beyond shock into compassion." One might add that it is as illuminating a fictional study of pedophilia as has seen the light of print in recent years.
Reviewers of the novel were moved to compassion not only by the terrible events depicted therein, but, probably, also by the very subject matter of the book. This becomes quite understandable when the statistics of pedophilia are examined apart from those who are arrested as molesters. In the foreword to the book, John Ray, Jr., makes the following observations:
... H.H.'s impassioned confession is a tempest in a test tube; that at least 12% of American adult males-a "conservative" estimate according to Dr. Blanche Schwartz-mann (verbal communication)-enjoy yearly, in one way or another, the special experience H.H, describes with such despair; that had our demented diarist gone, in the fatal summer of 1947, to a competent psycho-pathologist, there would have been no disaster; but then, neither would there have been this book.
The same is evidently true of European countries as well. Children in France, if one is to believe the philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, are often subjected to overt or covert caresses from older members of their own families, the memory of which they retain despite the predictable post-Victorian "hush-up" operation.
She discusses this in The Second Sex:
Then, too, even a well-protected maidenhood is exposed to more specific experiences; in "well-bred" circles silence is maintained with one accord concerning these regrettable incidents. But very often some of the caressed of family friends, uncles and cousins, not to mention grandfathers and fathers, are much less inoffensive than the mother imagines ... Stekel regards grandfathers, among others, as often very dangerous ...
Such incidents are usually unmentioned by the little girl because of shame. Besides, if she tells her parents, their reaction is often to scold her: "Don't say such things" (or) "You are naughty."
Although it may appear that the child does not actively resist such advances, indeed may even encourage them, the law is explicit in these cases because the responsibility must lie with the adult. It is assumed that the offender has capitalized on the child's innocence, curiosity, fear of the adult, sexual precocity, and undeveloped inhibitions. Aside from the psychological damage that may result, there is also the real danger of pregnancy in the child who has reached puberty.
Medical science has not achieved a coherent consensus on the subject of pedophilia. Exhibit A (Sigmund Freud):
Whereas those sexual inverts whose sexual object does not belong to the normally adapted sex, appear to the observer as a collective number of perhaps otherwise normal individuals, the cases who choose immature sexual objects (children) apparently represent from the beginning sporadic aberrations. Only exceptionally are children taken as exclusive sexual objects. They are mostly drawn into this role if a faint-hearted and impotent individual happens to be in contact with such substitutes, or if an impulsive urge (uncontrollable at the time) cannot secure the proper object.
Exhibit B (James Melvin Reinhardt, in his book Sex Perversions and Sex Crimes):
Pedophiles are extremely dangerous, for among them are not only sadistic rapists and murderers, but they are by nature cruel de-spoilers of the morals of children where no serious physical injury is inflicted ...
Unfortunately for the bumbling Humberts of this world, the second viewpoint prevails in the criminal courts everywhere.
"Jack told Marlene to look at me. "Isn't she a little doll? Look at her, momma. Isn't that the prettiest little doll?"
"Marlene went into her prettiest pout, and she looked me over carefully.
"She really knows how to suck cock, too. She gave me some of the wildest head I ever got at the stand. I'm gonna let her suck on it again. And you're gonna get to watch."
"If Marlene's bottom lip was out any further she'd trip over it. "Let me do it for you, Jack. You know how nice I can do it."
"He just laughed. "Take her clothing off, Marlene. Get her naked so I can see that pretty little body of hers."
"I was afraid she'd hit me, she looked so menacing as she came over to me. Instead she began to remove my clothing.
"Squeeze her tits while she gets you undressed, Cindy. Like you did out there. I got a kick out of watching that."
"Though I'd never touched another female that way before, I'd liked it before and was happy to do as he suggested. They were so big and yet firm and springy, and I liked feeling them over her dress so well I dipped my hands under her low neckline and grabbed all I could hold of her naked tits.
"Squeeze them hard, honey. Make them hurt a little. That's the way she likes them. Make her moan some." Jack had unzipped his pants and his dick was out there stiff and as straight as my arm.
"Excited, I began to really tighten my fingers over those huge mounds of pink and cream flesh. I liked handling them roughly, and I felt a big charge go through me as she began to moan and close her eyes. She had me nearly naked then, and I helped her get my panties off. Then, naked, I gave those boobs of hers a really hard squeeze, and she whined a little in mock protest.
"Then Jack and Marlene stripped down, and the three of us got on the bed. Jack thrust a hand between each of our thighs, and he got busy sucking on my nipples. He seemed crazy about the difference between mine and Marlene's, and then he told Marlene to suck one of mine while he worked on the other.
"It felt so fine, having two mouths on my tits, and I found myself staring hungrily at Marlene's trembling pair. Inspired, I grabbed one and pulled it to my mouth. The nipple was like a fleshy spike, and it filled my mouth like a tiny cock. That started me wondering what her clit would be like, but then the pleasure of licking and sucking my first tit took over, and that bothersome little mind of mine went back to sleep.
"Jack's hand played between my legs, and when he found my clit I bit down on Marlene's nipple, nearly cutting into it with my sharp little teeth. But Marlene only moaned hotter than before, and I took several nips at it while Jack teased my clit.
"He knew how to use his hands, and I slid happily into a long, hard come just as soon as he added an up-and-back stroke to my cunt hole to his tickling of my clit. After it was over I made him pull away, and I stopped sucking her tit.
"Little Cindy comes fast. If a finger can do that, what can I do with my tongue?"
"For answer I spread my legs and stretched out on the bed. I love getting my pussy sucked.
"Jack stared down between my legs. "Eat that, Marlene, baby. Get that cunt-sucking mouth of yours down there and lap it up. I want to watch."
"I could tell from the thick look on Marlene's face that she wasn't against the idea. But it was like a cue, his ordering her to eat me, and she went into her number. "I will not!"
"Get that stupid face of yours down there and start licking cunt, or you ain't gonna have any ass left after I start kicking it!" Jack grabbed her hair and pulled it painfully, forcing her face to my pussy. I could see that he was really hurting her, but I didn't bother feeling any pity. She was loving it.
"Her soft mouth bumped my pussy, and then she was gingerly darting a tongue into me, and then it was all over. She began to suck and lick and lap at me like she loved sucking cunt better than anything in the world, and that bitch had me coming inside of two minutes! I pushed her wet, creamy face away and moaned weakly.
"Oh, do I want to fuck that sweet little cunt of yours, Cindy," Jack breathed, pushing his woman aside and pulling me to him. He just fell down on top of my body and started running the knob of his dick up and down my slit until it just naturally began to nose into the dimpled opening to my womb.
"Marlene watched with very big eyes as her man slowly began to push in and out of me. I found myself looking up and into her eyes, and as the feeling built from his cock inside me, I kept looking up at her. It was a strange power game, and our eyes locked tightly as our bodies were in some strange way fucking, myself and Marlene, if only through her closeness to Jack. Finally Marlene broke the connection and came over to me. Ignoring her man who was still fucking me slowly and deeply, Marlene fastened her mouth to mine and ran her tongue in and out of my mouth. It was like being fucked in two places at once, and I began to move my ass like crazy, because I knew I was going to come. Jack picked up the message and that, along with his excitement from all that had gone before and the wild French kissing Marlene was doing now, was all he needed to join me. I was digging my fingers into his back and clutching his hips with my legs, and his prick was a blur as it thundered in and out of me ... and we both came at the exact same moment.
"As soon as he was off me Marlene fastened her mouth to my cunt and quickly sucked me dry. She worked her own fingers over her pussy, and within a minute she, too, had finished. I fell asleep almost immediately.
"That was far from the end of it, however. They were a wild pair, and if I were crazy outside of bed, they were madmen once there. Between the two of them I was easily fucked and sucked a half-dozen times, including the time I woke up to find Marlene pushing a candle into my cunt. Finally, well into the next day, we managed to get some sleep.
"I woke up feeling as if I were in the bottom of a well and there was no way up. I fought against opening my eyes and when I finally did, I couldn't remember where I was, or who the two people in bed with me were.
"It all came, back to me soon enough, though, and I squirmed my way out of the bed and hurried to the bathroom. I ached in a thousand places, and yet I felt fine, alive and slightly lightheaded, and more than a little fulfilled.
"By the time I got back to the bedroom Jack and Marlene were up and smoking and talking. "There," Jack said, grinning, "is my entry in the Miss Naked and Fuckable Teen-age America contest."
"He moved over and made room for me. "That's what I like. Lucky Pierre, right in the middle. That's me."
"Marlene put out her cigarette and even managed to give me a frosty nod, as if to acknowledge the fact that she'd been licking my pussy all night long. "I don't think she'll do it for you, Jack. She might be a nice fuck, but I don't think she will."
"The act was starting again. I could feel it. Her words were supposed to put me on the defensive and have me frothing at the mouth to do whatever they wanted me to do.
"Jack ran his fingers over my cheek and chin. "Sure she will. She's part of our family now, huh, Cindy? She wants what's good for all of us."
"I decided to play along. "Sure. What do you want me to do?" I tried to look bright and ready to prove myself.
"Jack shrugged and stamped out his cigarette, nearly catching the bed on fire. "I want us three to take off for Florida. Where it's nice and warm. But I owe these two dudes a favor, see? So I'm running the stand for them, and that leaves us here for a couple more months. I was just telling Marlene that I bet I could pull a swap with those guys. Both of them are queer for young stuff. Young girls, like yourself. But they don't have the balls to try to find any young pussy themselves. So I was thinking, if you were willing to show those guys a good time for a couple hours, that would square me with them, and we could split for Florida right away. Would you like to go to Florida?"
"I gave the whole bit a quick thinking over. I didn't think the favor part was true, but maybe they were short some money for the trip to Florida, and maybe they knew the men would pay them to have sex with a young chick. "What are they like?"
"Marlene continued to look hostile, but Jack grinned. "Atta girl! They ain't bad guys, and they ain't bad looking, either. They're just a little pussy-whipped by their wives, you know what I mean? I like me a woman who doesn't pull that shit." He threw back the blankets and exposed Marlene's naked butt which he slapped hard. "A chick who knows what the score is." He put an arm around me. "Now you're a different story. You're a smart little cookie, and I think we're gonna have a lot of fun together." From the look in his eye I had the feeling he was thinking of all the rich dudes down in Florida.
"I spent the rest of the day in the apartment alone with Marlene. She interested me. I wanted to know what made her tick. For one thing, though she'd been all over my cunt the night before, once we were alone she acted as if I wasn't even there. Because I was more curious than anything else, I even walked into the room naked after my shower, and I kind of gave the busty woman a definite come-on. I might just as well have been a housefly. She didn't even answer me unless I asked a direct question.
"By late evening I was more than bored. I'd begun to ask myself what I was doing, and why, and if I even wanted to go to Florida. I got myself all depressed finally, especially when I began to realize there was nothing for me to do, not until I was a little older, at least. I couldn't find some place that looked okay, get a job, find a place to live and be done with it. I was years too young. I'd never get a job. I couldn't go back to Fritzie and Chuck, and the world was looking damn big.
"About the time when I was ready to go jump off a bridge, Jack came back. He looked happy. We had a very good dinner fixed by the ever chatty Marlene, and then Jack got down to business. He handed me a piece of paper attached to a key, and told me it was to a motel room. I'll drop you off at the motel and come back for you later. Jeff will show about eight and Larry around ten. I'll be there by twelve, and then we'll take off. This time tomorrow we'll be lazying around those nice white beaches with all those big guys." He smiled significantly at Marlene, and said, "Yes, sir, we'll be gone before you know it." and I knew instantly that Marlene and Jack were going to Florida, but that I was going to be cooling my heels outside the door of a motel somewhere, waiting for a ride that would never come. Instantly it made perfect sense. After all, they didn't dare take me across the State line. There were big laws about that.
"I thought about just telling them to go to hell, but then I decided to keep those dates. After all, what else did I have to do, and sex had a way of cheering me up, no matter what.
"The motel was much nicer than I'd expected, so I figured Jeff and Larry were big spenders. I decided that the last I'd see of Jack would be outside that motel door after Jeff left and when Larry was on his way in. He'd collect the last fee and take off. From the big sexy kiss he gave me I was sure Jack would have loved to take me along. But he was the type who had to play it safe.
"I got undressed as soon as I got inside the motel. I left the door unlocked, but I lowered the lamps until it gave off a rosy glow all over the room. There was a radio so I found a quarter and put on some music. I began to dance around naked, and then I began playing a part. I was a woman of the world, and I was waiting to go to bed with a man I hated, a man I had to convince I loved. I was trying to figure out why when the door opened and a man stepped quickly into the room.
"He was younger than I'd expected, and he really was handsome, in a shy sort of way. I wasn't what he expected, not totally naked and ready, anyway.
"That was when the game changed completely. I was an experienced prostitute who knew how to handle shy tricks. I remembered reading about it in that book of Chuck's I'd found. "Hi! I'm Cindy. You must be Jeff. As you can see, I've been waiting for you."
"I locked my eyes with his and urged him over to the bed while I got on it myself. Take your clothing off," I urged.
"Jeff kept looking at me, his eyes eating up my body. I stretched out and moved a little, and soon he thawed and began to undress. I watched him and felt a sharp excitement in spite of all the sex I'd had so recently. Jeff was good looking, and his cock, half-hard, was big and very pink, and it hung from a golden nest of hairs above his swaying red balls.
"Unlike any whore I'd read about, I felt the excitement growing as he got into the bed next to me. A little smile played at the corner of his mouth. "I don't know, I kind of thought that we'd talk first or something."
"I didn't know if he was kidding or not, but now his dick was very hard and we didn't need words for that. He kissed me instead. His body felt warm and smelled clean and faintly alcoholic, as if he'd taken a drink recently, like in his car before stepping into the room.
"He didn't need the drink. He didn't need anything. As soon as he took me into his arms it was right. Perfect. He went wild over my body and I loved the way he kissed me all over, and I was happy to do the same thing to him. I liked his clean young body and the way he kept coming back to my mouth after every kiss on my body. He had a way of touching his lips to my flesh that was a knowingness learned from understanding a girl's body, rather than from experience. He tongued my nipples slowly and ran a finger into me only to move away from my cunt and nipples in favor of the insides of my arms and the small of my back.
"Finally we were lying across each other in a full sixty-nine position, and then we began to eat each other without games or pretense. His dick fit perfectly into my mouth, and whatever he was doing to my pussy had me so hot I nearly came on the spot. He was sucking it lightly while flicking his tongue up and back across the clit.
"He pushed a finger into me, too, and I responded by tickling his asshole with mine, I could tell he liked it, so I began to push it in a little. He kept licking and sucking and fingering me all the while, and soon we were so hot and so into it that I knew we would have to quit or it would be all over. And I didn't want it to be over.
"Without either of us mentioning Larry or time limits or anything, we were both feeling the pressure, and it got into the way of our enjoyment of each other. I felt really comfortable with Jeff, and I didn't want him to shoot off inside me and then rush away, and I didn't want to wait around and play whore to the other guy Jack had fixed me up with, either.
"When it was time to cut out the mouth stuff and get down to some real fucking, Jeff pulled away. "Look, I know this is crazy-but I've been called crazy all my life and I don't really care ... "
"Me, too," I interrupted. Then I shut up, because I wanted him to finish what he was saying.
"Anyway, I don't want to just make it and go home. Listen, I'm not married and I don't live with anyone. I go to the college in town and I work part-time. I'd love you to come to my place. I'd love to have you stay at my place, if you wanted to. Move in, I mean. You probably think I'm an idiot, but I figure if I don't say what I mean I'll never find anyone who wants the same thing."
"I couldn't believe it. But it was obvious he meant it. I thought of Jack and Marlene, who were practically on their way to Florida without me, and of Chuck and Fritzie, and I looked up at Jeff who was waiting patiently, "We'll have to sneak out of this place. There's another guy who's supposed to be along soon."
"Jeff patted his still-hard cock and got out of the bed. As he picked up his clothing he threw me mine, and giggling like little kids, we began to get dressed. To go home.
"It was funny, but I never expected to find happiness when I ran away from home ... "
Cindy only narrowly averts the beginnings of a life of overt prostitution in the course of her peregrinations; yet favorable comment might be premature. Her relationship with Jeff is dependent and without adequate sanctions in civil law against her further mistreatment. The intervention of the juvenile authorities might be advantageous at this point.