Chapter 4
Heidi, Poor Heidi
"What's the first thing that pops into your mind when somebody says the word 'virgin'? Well, I don't know about you, but when I hear the word I get a vision of a young, slender thing, with tits just budding and a cunt that's tight and narrow and totally unused.
"That was not the case with Heidi, hut she was a virgin.
"Heidi was forty-two years old when I met her and she weighed a hundred and ninety-four pounds. And she wasn't tall. But what she did have was forty-seven million dollars, left to her by some dingy old man she had nursed for about five years. Heidi was rich, fat, ugly and un-fucked. Just my cup of tea.
"You see, I have to explain something about myself. When I was eighteen, fresh out of high school, I really thought I was the greatest thing in the world. Mainly because everybody had always told me I was.
"I got the leading roles in all the school plays, I had dates and tosses in back seats with the best looking broads in school, I was begged by teachers not to play football because I might alter my face, I won the most-likely-to-succeed award, and besides all that, I wasn't dumb. At least I didn't think I was.
"So what does a guy who has all that going for him do? Go to Hollywood. What else? Why be a big fish in a little pond when you can be a big fish in a big pond?
"Christ, I didn't even make it to tadpole rating.
"Just as a comment off the top of my head, I'll say that nine out of every ten guys, throughout the whole fucking country, who did the same things I did back home, who look the same as I did, or at least as good, all head for Hollywood. Man, there are thousands of us. All waiting for that break and all of us hustling our asses off until that break comes.
"I know it's an old story, but it's still a current one. I know. I've been a victim of the system.
"So what does a guy do when he's in that condition? He can't go home and admit defeat. Hell, not after five or six years of trying and getting nowhere. And if you can't go home, and if you're not trained for anything except to charm and look good, what else do you do? You hustle, right? Literally.
"Besides, there's no way anybody's going to talk me into getting a job in a bank or in a factory. What if an agent calls when I'm assembling some fucking car or something?
"Two years ago, after a long time of picking up any kind of pissass job at night that would keep me in bread, booze and pot, I was contacted by a guy who ran an escort service. That's what it was called, anyway. What it really was was a fucking service.
"Let me tell you about the one 'escort' job I had. It was the final straw on my camel-shaped back. After this one I quit.
"My boss-who, incidentally, got fifty per cent of the fee without even getting his dick hard-got this call from this character out in San Fernando Valley. The guy says his wife's cousin was in town and they were throwing a little party for her. But the trouble was this broad didn't want to be the only unescorted female at the party. So the phone call.
"Charlie-he was the boss-called me. At seven goddamned o'clock in the morning. 'I got an easy one for you, Billy,' he says. 'You won't even have to take your cock out of your pants. Just show up at the party, be nice to Miss Charlotte and you'll be home by two o'clock. You can have a night to fuck what you want to fuck.'
"I accepted the assignment, thanking Charlie like the goddamned stupid ass I am, and then immediately called this little number I knew at the time named Connie.
"I told her I'd pick her up about two, we'd come to my place, fuck all night, then she could fix me breakfast and I'd have some bread to spend on her the next day. She accepted. Hell, was I looking forward to sticking my cock into Connie's neat little twat.
"Since it was a house party I was going to, I decked myself out in my 'casual' outfit. Sports-coat, open shirt, tight pants, boots. Shit, did I look great. And I was the only one at the party who did.
"Everybody else was old, fat and ugly. Christ, they were all a mess. And you should have seen my date. Miss Charlotte. She looked like a librarian who'd been locked in the stack too long. Skinny as a rail, sort of snaggly toothed, tiny little tits that hung down like they were tired and a bright red mouth, I guess from lipstick.
"The problem, though, was that Miss Charlotte didn't act like a librarian. She was the one who opened the door to let me in. 'So you're Billy,' she said in this cutsy kind of voice that instantly made me dislike her. But true to my dishonest self, I flashed my most winning smile and we hit it off like long lost friends.
"At first I was the hit of the party. Every broad there was coming on with me. And that sort of attention is nice, no matter who the bestowers are. Right?
"But Miss Charlotte was doing her best to ingratiate herself. She kept my drink filled, kept shoving little sandwiches in my mouth and once even ran her hand across my crotch. After which she smiled coyly and gave an appreciative wink.
"I didn't know the fucking party was a swap affair. I thought it'd be a typical boring Valley party. But these people were swingers, although a little old and a little ugly for it.
"So all this friendliness on Miss Charlotte's and all the other women's parts had a reason. They were interested in being my fuck later on in the evening.
"I didn't realize it at the time, but all this attention I was getting from the ladies wasn't having the best effect on the men at the party. In fact, the longer it continued the more pissed they were getting. They saw their night of wild, abandoned fucking ruined by this one creep-me -who to their thinking wasn't all that hot. And as the drinks flowed more freely, their discontent started to unite and the assholes got together and came up with a retaliatory plan.
"I wasn't aware of any of this.
"At eleven-thirty on the dot-these things have to go according to schedule in the Valley, right?-a film projector was brought out and the house lights dimmed. All the people took expectant places and stared at the blank screen waiting. And would you believe it, I got groped about fifteen times in that darkened room. Despite a general lack of any real interest on my part, my cock had to get and stay hard.
"The film starred an old buddy of mine and his wife, although they performed under assumed names. And it was a good film.
"Gloria, the girl in the film, has a beautiful body and one of the neatest little cunts in the world. Believe me, I know. And Stan is hung like a fucking mule. So with those two basic ingredients, it almost had to be a good film. Besides, both of them are freaks for performing in front of people.
"In fact, I was surprised they had made a film. I thought they made their livelihood fucking in front of people in person.
"It was a pretty straight fuck film. Just the two of them, doing it in almost every imaginable position, with a lot of camera emphasis on that big prick of Stan's pounding into Gloria's gorgeous little cunt.
"The film had its desired effect. The party, everybody, was turned on. Including me. I don't like to admit it, but good fuck films still turn me on.
"So by the time the film was over I was ready to fuck. And I figured if I closed my eyes, I could even fuck Miss Charlotte. But the way this group operated, it wasn't up to me to choose.
"As soon as the film was over, and the projector and screen put away, the whole group assembled on the floor in a circle. You should have heard the groans when the fat members tried to get their asses to floor level.
"But when they all made it, the hostess, a nifty two hundred pounder named Shirley, came around with a hatful of little pieces of white paper. She offered the hat to each woman, who each drew a piece of paper and then waited until the hat had been passed around.
"And then came the really exciting part. At the same time, all the women opened their pieces of paper together. Wow!
"Miss Charlotte did not get the piece of paper with the 'X' on it. Another broad, of equal appeal, got that honor. Her name, I think, was Laura and the beauty of the name did not fit the owner. Let's leave it at that.
"Laura got to her feet at the urgings of her friends, and after somebody started the record player, she started to strip. An old, beat-up Salome.
"I had to bite my lips to keep from laughing a couple of times during the dance-strip, mainly because it was obvious her attention was aimed at me. And I wasn't particularly interested in it, although my cock was still responding from the film. What I'm saying is that I was hard as a rock.
"When Laura got down to the skin, she got a big round of applause. She bowed and did a few more bumps and grinds. She was whacked on booze, just like everybody else was.
"And now came the piece de resistance. Laura stopped her fun and stood very quietly as the crowd hushed up. Then she started staring, and she started staring at me. I had a feeling what was coming.
"Slowly, in her most seductive way, she walked my way. When she was standing in front of me, with her cunt at just about eye-level, she reached down her hand to me. When I hesitated, I got a round of hisses, boos and cat-calls from the other gentlemen present. That made me resolve to perform as well as I could.
"And perform was what we did. She pulled me to my feet and led me to the center of the circle. And then, while I was standing there, desperately trying to think of the last decent looking pussy I'd fucked, Laura started to strip off my clothes. And she wasn't gentle about it. Christ, after she got my jacket off, she just threw the damned thing across the room. And my shirt she just about ripped off. I didn't like that part of the party.
"When she finally got my shorts off, there was a general expression of appreciation from the ladies-hell, that wasn't saying much; any normal guy would have been an Adonis in this group and a general stirring of hate from among the men. But what the fuck did I care what they thought!
"Laura had decided preferences, and what she seemed to especially like, I wasn't too fond of, especially not with her. But I figured they paid me, so I might as well cooperate. Luckily, my hard on was holding on.
"Laura put her hand on my head and gently indicated that she wanted me to get on my knees, which I did, And then with another gentle pull, she brought my face to her cunt.
"Now when it comes to pussy lapping, I'll admit to an amateur status. In fact, the only time I like to do it is when I'm really turned on, with some great looking chick who likes it. And I have to be damned near coming to do it even then.
"So you can imagine the trouble I had laying out my tongue on that old pussy in front of me. So I hesitated. And that's when what I refer to as 'the trouble' started. Some guy had come up behind me and while I was thinking about whether I should eat out Laura's box, he got behind me and shoved my face forward.
" 'What's the matter, hot-shot? Afraid of a pussy?' he asked in the drunk, slurred voice. He also sounded pissed as hell-at me.
"There wasn't much I could do. He had me in sort of a helpless position. And my face was already up against the hole. So what the hell. I stuck out my tongue and started lapping. I kept my eyes closed and pretended it was Connie I was working on.
"Laura immediately latched on to the action. Even in my kneeling position, she somehow managed to wrap her legs around my neck, and as I was still shoving my tongue up into her and licking around on her pussy lips and clit, she started to bend me backwards. So far, in fact, that eventually, despite not wanting to, I had to fall to my back on the floor. And would you believe it, even during the fall, Laura's pussy never once left my mouth.
"To tell you the truth, despite the lack of appeal in my partner, I was starting to enjoy the whole scene. I guess part of it was being the center of attention, and also the fact that I was performing in front of people. And let's face it, I just like to suck and fuck.
"Laura was sitting right on my face by this time, and her position was just right for allowing me to get right in there and eat her out good. I let my hand wander down to my cock and started working on that. But that didn't last long.
"Suddenly, there was another woman down in my cock area. She was naked, too, and she knelt down beside me and pushed my hand away. She bent over and sure enough she took my cock in her mouth. Christ, did that feel good. Hell, I didn't even care what she looked like. She was a damned good cocksucker.
"So far, so good, right? Everything was working out fine. And when a third gal joined the party, and while I was still licking on Laura, she pushed her girl friend off my cock and then settled down on it with her pussy, I was really enjoying my work.
"The gal on my cock had a fairly tight pussy and it felt damned good to have her fucking herself on me. Every time she got my cock stuck all the way up inside her, she'd tighten her cunt muscles and then pull off. That made the fuck feel like she was working on me with a tight, soft velvet glove. Great!
"And then, suddenly, our three-way fuck became a five-way fuck. Because two more of the ladies present came up to me and settled themselves on my finger. Can you believe this shit? I was being used by four broads at the same time. Hell, it was really turning me on, no matter what they looked like.
"We must have really made a picture, especially the two broads who were finger fucking themselves-on my fingers. All I did was hold out my arms and stick my middle fingers up in the air and let them fuck away.
"Laura, the one whose cunt I was licking on, was the first to have a go at a come. Hey, I like that line. 'Have a go at a come.'
"Anyway, she started to move her pussy around on my face like it was on fire. And I guess it was. Because all of a sudden I felt her whole body tighten up and she started to moan like I was hurting her. And I knew for sure that I wasn't doing that.
"Then she came. And she damned near broke my fucking neck when she did. She lurched and writhed and carried on like she was crazy. And damned if she didn't spurt a little juice. I could feel it and taste it.
"When she finally finished, she pulled off my face and for the first time I got a look around. It was almost funny seeing those broads moving their cunts around on my fingers and cock. And still sitting around in a circle were the rest of the women and all the men. They were staring at the scene like they'd been hypnotized.
"To tell you the truth, though, my arms were getting damned tired from being in that same position, so I decided to pull my fingers out of those two cunts and then give the lady who was on my cock the fucking of her life.
"You should have heard the protests when I pulled my fingers out of those two girls. And hell, my fingers aren't that big.
"By moving around a little, I gave a hint to the broad who was still riding my cock about what I was after. She seemed to go for the idea and within seconds, she was on her back on the floor, with me between her thighs, and with her legs wrapped around me. My God, did I fuck that pussy!
"You see, I thought when I'd shot off my load into the cunt I was fucking, I was through for the night. But that wasn't the case at all.
"I don't know what these people's bags were, but I was the only male at the party who worked. And shit, did I work.
"None of the other men did anything but beat off. I don't know if it was because they were pissed at me because I'd gotten all the attention, or if that was the general plan of the party.
"Whatever, after I'd shot off in that one gal and tried to get up off the floor, I suddenly had two big fat asses, belonging to guys, pushing me down again, and before I knew what was happening, I had another pussy sitting on my face and there was another face working on my cock.
"I'm pretty sex oriented, so it wasn't too long before my cock was ready to go again. And as soon as it was, another pussy started to fuck itself on it. While I was busy at the other end working on another fat, lumpy cunt with my mouth.
"I won't go into gory details, but I spent four hours fucking. And I must have shot at least five times. And that's hard to do when you don't particularly want to come even once.
"When they finally put the fifty bucks in my hand and shoved me out the door, my cock was so sore even the rubbing against my trousers was almost too much to take.
"I walked gingerly to the car, thinking all sorts of rotten thoughts about Charlie, my boss in the escort service. I was through with that asshole. He could just howl to the moon for his part of the fifty bucks I had in my pocket. Hell, I'd earned ten times that amount that night.
"I still had one problem, Connie. I was already two hours late. I knew she'd be pissed and to be honest, fucking, even Connie, was the farthest thing from my mind. In fact I don't think I could have gotten a hard on for anybody.
"I'm not the kind of guy to stand a girl up, so I drove over to Connie's house. I knew there'd be a big scene, and I really wasn't up to it, but I went anyway.
"I was short-term lucky and long-term fucked. Because there was a note on Connie's door that said, in effect, fuck off. And it was too bad. I really liked Connie.
"Are you getting the idea that I'm some sort of loser?"
There is a bit of commentary in Charles Winick and Paul M. Kinsie's book The Lively Commerce: Prostitution in the United States, referred to earlier, that would tend to cast some doubt on the general nature of the immediate subject's narration. The commentary referred to, states:
For many years there have been recurrent rumors of brothels with male inmates which had females clients. These rumors have never been substantiated. The "stud" who expects to earn a livelihood by finding women who will pay him for sexual access is likely to be as disappointed as was Joe Buck in the film Midnight Cowboy (1969). A curious version of the good-hearted prostitute, Joe Buck comes to New York from Houston expecting to get money from women for being a "stud." Instead, Joe is so innocent that he ends up paying the women while his vicious and corrupt clients exploit him. Like the prototypical literary prostitute, Joe keeps giving his body because he can only establish contact with other people by offering it. . . .
With the final wrap-up statement being:
. . . Like generations of literary prostitutes, Joe is sensitive and lives for the pleasure he can give others. Joe's difficulties in finding clients accurately reflect the near impossibility of a "stud" earning a livelihood from prostitution.
Unless, of course, he stumbles on the "female version of a red-necked farmer"-the subject's reference to the virgin of this case-who is in the possession of great wealth, and a great need, at the age of forty-two, to have her virginity terminated.
It should be noted right here that a great portion of the subject's narrative is open to the question of veracity. There is even a questionability in regard to Heidi. It seems extremely unlikely that a woman such as Heidi, considering the money that she has access to, had not been able to find a man to have sex with, particularly when one considers her age. Of course there is the possibility that Heidi had been, and as a matter-of-fact still is, a nonsexual entity even in her own mind. A heaviness such as hers, especially if it was congenital, so to speak, combined with an unattractiveness with which the subject of the case endows her in his narrative, and with more interest in financial than in sexual games, might naturally explain her long-held state of virginity.
Billy T-, in the first portion of his narrative, describes one of the assignments, if it can be called that, which he received from his "boss," the aim of which was to "take care of Miss Charlotte at a party." The orgy that the subject describes, and in which he participates-performs would be a better term-holds a certain aura of the freakiness of carnival sideshows.
Although there are other men present, Billy T. claims that he is "the only one who was doing any work." The other males apparently were content with looking on the sexual Laocoon that was displayed before them, with the women-probably their wives-playing the part of the snakes that strangle the Laocoon of classical myth.
The above analogy suits perfectly the situation in which Billy T-continuously finds himself.
Several times in the course of his narrative he claims being "a loser." Apparently, there is a bit of Joe Buck in him. Financially, he is not successful, although it is possible that his eventual contact with Heidi, the forty-two-year-old virgin of the case, shows at least some promise of pecuniary reward, although the certainty of such cannot be judged. His emotional involvement with Lee, who is the female counterpart in a game that is exactly what his own is, i.e., prostitution, cannot hold much promise for him. It is extremely difficult to see any sort of an ideal relationship resembling marriage developing between a male "stud" who sells his body to other women and a female prostitute who sells hers.
Citing Winnick and Kinsey's work again, we have some optimism expressed in regard to the above:
Occasionally a man marries a prostitute both because of her bad reputation and in spite of it. He may expect to discard the prudery with which sex is so frequently invested and feel comfortable in the presence of a woman of no pretenses. He may also prefer a woman who has been possessed by others. A man may marry a prostitute because his sexual relationship with her will have a minimum of romance. Such elements may have contributed to the marriage of Auguste Comte, who sired positivism and sociology. Comte married a young girl who had been a prostitute, although he was fully aware of her prenuptial career. Far from being a Bohemian, Comte was a fairly strict defender of moral views.
This, of course, only casts the very least modicum of light on the eventual potentialities of the relationship between Billy-, the "stud," and
Lee, the girl he appears to be in love with and who happens also to be a prostitute.
At the same time, however, one may take a relatively different attitude toward the professional prostitute, both male and female, the attitude that is taken by Eustace Chesser, in his work Strange Loves: The Human Aspects of Sexual Deviation. Therein, he writes:
. . . There is . . . distinctive motivation behind the choice of [prostitution] as a career. Something in every individual's make-up impels him or her to choose a way of life. One woman is content with being a mother, another has an ambition to be an actress or a writer or to play an active part in public affairs. We do not criticize them for wanting to be themselves. We do not ostracize those who are driven by a ruthless hunger for power or applause. We adopt a totally different attitude to a woman who uses her sex as a means of livelihood-unless she is so successful that she becomes the wife or mistress of a millionaire. Both are trading in sex, the only difference is the price they are able to exact.
Which suggests that each of the individuals involved in this case, from the subject to Lee to Heidi, is simply pursuing the best way he or she can the direction toward some modicum of happiness in his or her life, whether that happiness or pleasure be love as well as money-as appear to be the dual goals of Lee and the subject-or the long overdue loss of one's virginity, as is the case with pathetic Heidi.
"I never saw Connie again. Boy, when that gal says 'Fuck off,' she means it.
"For the next couple of years, nothing big happened. I made enough money to live off of, ninety per cent of it from my cock and about ten per cent from my good looks and talent.
"I even had an offer to make a fuck film once, but I turned it down. Hell, what if some day I got famous. I wouldn't want that film being dragged out for every gossip columnist in the world to see.
"And then I met Lee and believe it or not, we fell in love. I honest to god didn't think I'd ever be in love with anybody but myself, but I did fall in love with her. She's the most perfect, the most non-possessive woman I've ever met. The only problem is that we're both in the same boat.
"Lee was a female equivalent of me in high school. Best dates, best roles in shows, most-likely to-succeed bullshit. Same small town upbringing. And the same trip to Hollywood. And she makes about as much money as I do. Course, it's easier for a girl to pick up a few bucks in the business than it is for a man.
"Lee's done some modeling and has had some bit and extra roles in both television and film, but like me she's never done anything she wasn't proud of. At least in public. By that I mean she's never been a naked dancer, or appeared in fuck films (although she's had plenty of offers). And she makes her living more or less like I do. Hustling.
"I know it's not the most respectable way in the world to live, but at least it builds up your social consciousness.
"Now don't get me wrong. Lee has never been a one-night fuck for anybody. What she does is find some rich old gent who's willing to pay to have a beautiful young thing around. And hell, there are a million of those suckers around.
"But after we met and moved in together, we didn't know how to make a living. Show business didn't bring in near enough to live, and we didn't want to go on with the old ways. We loved each other too much.
"So the result was we both got jobs. Lee started to work in a boutique and I got a job as a waiter.
"That lasted six months, and we both were miserable. And then one night this old babe comes into the restaurant where I worked. She was with this young guy who obviously was there only because he was being paid to be.
"I guess it just came naturally to me, but I started to play up to the old bitch-and bitch she was-and pretty soon I started getting a response from her. To the point where after the two of them left I found a note rolled in my tip. The old gal had written down her telephone number and an invitation to call her.
"I took the note home and woke Lee up. I figured it was about time we sat down and had a talk about our lives. I was miserable working in that fucking restaurant, and Lee was miserable with what she was doing.
"Besides, our misery was taking the form of making us get mad at each other.
"So we sat for about three hours over coffee and talked. The result was we came up with a way to save both our love and our sanity. We would go back to our old lives.
"The only difference there'd be between the way we used to operate and the way we were going to operate now was that we'd insist with our 'friends' that we have a certain amount of independence. That meant staying in the apartment where we were-and living together-and having free time. A lot of it, hopefully.
"We also decided that we looked enough alike to pass ourselves off as brother and sister in case any sticky situations came up with our clients.
"The result was that I called the old dame I'd met in the restaurant and was invited over the next night for a drink.
"I fucked the old gal four times that night and made three hundred dollars. Not bad, eh? The old cock was still working.
"I didn't like the old gal, which makes it hard for a relationship to have any length-because people sense when you basically don't like them, no matter how hard you try to convey the opposite impression-so we didn't last too long. But as a parting gift the old gal gave me the telephone number of a friend of hers. And that's how I got to know Heidi.
"Remember Heidi? She's the one who started this whole thing.
"I called Heidi one Friday night and she damned near fainted. She was nervous as hell, I guess because she knew the reason for the call. She was close to her first fuck. That's reason for being nervous, right?
"I used my best come-hither voice and I could tell it was working. Heidi even sounded like she had goose bumps.
"The first thing Heidi did was invite me to dinner on November 12. This was not a good sign, considering the fact that I was calling her on September 6.
" 'That was funny,' I said. 'Now let's do it right. Invite me for dinner tomorrow night.'
"'Tomorrow night?' Heidi said in a voice that sounded like I had invited her to her own hanging. 'But that's so soon.'
"I laughed again. Shit, I was just a bundle of jollies.
"'What do you mean "so soon"? ' I asked. 'I thought you'd be anxious to meet me.'
" 'Oh, I am,' she said, her voice quivering again, 'but I did plan on losing some weight first.'
"Now wasn't that sweet of her?
" 'Nonsense,' I said. 'I'll love you just the way you are.' And the way I put the emphasis on 'love,' I'm sure her goose bumps got goose bumps.
" 'Well, if you remember that I'm not looking my best, then you certainly are welcome to come to dinner tomorrow night,' she said finally. She was getting more and more excited.
"I repeated my pledge of loving her no matter what she looked like, but if the truth be known, after meeting her, I wished I had given her the two months to lose some weight.
"I walked into this penthouse apartment over in Beverly Hills the next night and knew I had found a home. The place was gorgeous and just what I've always wanted to have for my own. And for Lee.
"A very discreet houseman, old enough to be even Heidi's father, let me in. He sat me down and fixed me a drink. Then he departed with the comment that Miss Heidi would be down in a few minutes.
"Down? Did that mean this apartment was two floors? Yep, that's what it meant. I learned that when I heard the elevator that was bringing Heidi into my life open in the hallway.
"And then Heidi walked into the room. Have you ever heard a description of a red-necked farmer? Well, Heidi was a female version of a redneck. She would have looked much more at home in a pair of overalls, with dirty nails and a potato sack over her arm than in the filmy outfit she was wearing.
"In fact, she looked like a tulle-covered tank.
" 'You don't like me,' was the first thing that came out of Heidi's mouth. It wasn't a whine; it was a statement.
"I guess I wasn't able to get the shocked look off my face fast enough.
" 'Au contraire,' I said. I like to throw a little French in when I'm dealing with rustics. 'It's just that you're not what I expected.'
" 'I knew you wouldn't like me,' she said.
" 'Au contraire,' I repeated and then mentally noted not to use that phrase again that evening. You can run things into the ground, you know. 'You told me things that intimated that you were unattractive. Nothing could have been farther from the truth.'
"Now that might not sound like much to you, but to somebody who's been called a pig and slob all her life, it's heaven.
" 'Of course,' I added. 'You were right. You could stand to lose a little weight.' Then I chuckled in my friendly, nose-wrinkly way. I added that last phrase because you don't want to gild the lily too much. We didn't want to make Heidi suspicious.
"That little qualification on my compliment seemed to break the ice. She thudded towards me, all smiles now.
" 'May I join you in a drink?' she asked, after we had grabbed hands and held them for a second or two. She had wrists like a Sumo wrestler.
" 'Of course,' I said. 'Then we can sit on the sofa together'-I only hoped the poor sofa could take the strain-'and enjoy some friendly talk.'
"I don't know if I'm giving my comments out verbatim. I guess they sound corny now, but they sure did work at the time.
"She got her drink-believe it or not, it was a Hamm's beer, in the can-and sat down next to me.
" 'I realize,' she said, 'that it's not considered socially correct to drink beer out of a can, but that's the way I like it.'
" 'I think it's charming,' I said, and let my hand brush down her arm. She did have goose bumps.
"Well, three Scotches for me and three beers for her later, we were still sitting on that couch. And I was enjoying our talk. I really did like Heidi. And sitting there talking it was easy to forget she looked like a truck driver.
"But then we got down to the nitty-gritty. 'I was hoping we might . . . do our thing,' she said, 'before we eat. I always get so sleepy after a meal.' She blushed fire engine red, which I liked. Not many people in Hollywood or Beverly Hills can blush anymore. "I nodded.
" 'And you're going to have to excuse me, but I really don't know how much you charge. And I want to do the right thing.'
"At that point I was willing to provide my services absolutely free. Here was the nicest person in the world, albeit a bit, let's say, overripe, and she was nervous about not knowing how much to give me for fucking her. But my thoughts of largess didn't last too long. I had to be practical. Nice or not, Heidi also had forty-seven million dollars and she'd miss five hundred like she'd miss an empty beer can.
"She gulped at the figure, but she didn't throw me out, or even protest. Hell, when you're her age, you should either spend a lot or get a lot for your cherry.
"She huffed to her feet and led the way to the bedroom. It was a magnificent place. Mostly Empire and Regency pieces, all of which had beer can circle stains on them. But they were still nice.
" 'What do we do ? ' Heidi asked from the site of the bed.
" 'You just relax and let me do the work,' I answered, and I thanked whatever powers that were for having Lee to think about during this operation.
"I peeled off the top of her gown and two of the most gigantic tits I've ever seen in my life plopped out. Each, and I'm not kidding, must have weighed eighty pounds. I don't know how the poor thing could breathe.
"And they were hard. Hard as marble. I put my hand on one of them and damned near bruised my palm.
"Apparently, though, despite being hard they were also sensitive, because Heidi thoroughly enjoyed having them worked on. She sighed and closed her eyes and I could see her relaxing.
"I put a second hand on a second tit. They felt like basketballs. And then I lowered my mouth and started to suck on one of her nipples.
"Surprisingly, that really turned me on, but in a way entirely different than other times. It was as though I was back at my mother's breast, sucking milk out of her. And I found when I got my face right up there that Heidi was tremendously warm. Almost hot, and I don't mean sexually.
"I got her stripped down-I won't describe her -and then told her to put her hand on my cock.
"She must have thought it was made of steel, because she got me in a grip that almost had me hopping around the room in pain. 'Not so hard,' I managed to squeak, and gratefully she released some of the pressure.
"Since I realized she didn't know her own strength, I decided to do as I had told her: I'd do all the work.
"I got her up on the bed and stretched out. Her belly went down a little when she was stretched out on her back. That fact made her look like a skinny hippo.
"As I climbed up into that gigantic bed, I kept trying to bring Lee to mind. But I was having a hard time. I mean, when I slipped my cock into Lee's pussy, it was like dipping it in warm molasses. Tight, warm molasses. And Lee was thin. And tanned. Heidi was fat. And red.
"In fact, for the first time in my life, I couldn't get a hard on when I needed one.
" 'I was right,' Heidi said when she saw my problem. 'You don't like me.'
" 'It's not that at all,' I said. 'It's just that I've never fucked a virgin before.'
"I should not have used the word 'fuck.' Heidi stiffened like a giant oak and from the look she threw me, I could tell she didn't like vulgarity. But she didn't say anything.
" 'If you help,' I said to her, 'it'll be all right.'
"She asked what she should do and I told her to put her hand around it, gently, and jack it off. Only I didn't use the word 'jack.'
"I stretched out on the bed, closed my eyes and let her do what I'd told her to.
" 'Your thing sure is pretty,' she said after a few jerks. 'You mind if I put my mouth on it?'
"Her request sort of threw me for a loop, but I nodded my head. Hell, yes, I love to get sucked. But I'd been afraid that if I asked for that I'd be moving too fast.
" 'This is the only kind of sex I've ever had,' Heidi admitted before lowering her mouth on my cock. 'I used to put my mouth on the thing of this blind kid that lived in the neighborhood. A lot of years ago. In my home town.'
"And then she started to suck, and she wasn't bad. I'd had a lot worse. In fact, Lee was worse. But in truth, Lee is one of the worst cock-suckers I'd ever met in my life.
"Zingo! In no time at all, my cock was hard as a rock. And I was ready to fuck. And Heidi was, too.
" 'Could we make the first one fast?' she asked. 'I heard it hurts.'
"As I was climbing up on top of her, I couldn't help smiling. And the reason I was finding the whole thing so much fun was her 'hurt' comment. It reminded me of that elephant and flea story. But you don't want to hear that, do you? Nah, it's just sex, sex, sex with you guys.
"Heidi still had her hymen and it had the consistency of a rubber pad. Man, I can't tell you how many times I shoved and poked at that damned thing, and it still wouldn't give. Finally, out of desperation, I decided to risk life and limb (the most important one), and I reared back and plunged into her.
"I finally made it, but not without badly bruising my old money maker. In fact, it was sore for three weeks. But it did get in. And Heidi had her first fuck.
"The only trouble was when her cherry broke, she let out such a howl and bucked so hard that I landed on the floor. And as I was lying there, I looked down at my cock. It was still hard but it was covered with blood, and for a second or two I had this terrible feeling that it was my blood, not Heidi's.
"I felt around on my prick a couple of times and finally realized that everything, although bruised, was intact. Then Heidi looked down at me over the side of the bed. 'Is that it?' she asked.
"I hopped up on the bed and shoved it into her again. She didn't like it at all at first, but she finally got around to huffing and puffing a little in excitement.
"It took me forty-five minutes to get that woman to come off. By that time sweat was streaming down my sides and my prick was so sore I thought I'd have to trade it in.
"Shit, I was earning that five hundred!
"The end result of all this was that I'd made a friend for life. And a friend who was nice and who had forty-seven million dollars. Not bad for a night's work.
"In fact, we got together every other night for about a month. I was making a bundle, although I lowered my rates a whole lot after that first night.
"We even got to the point in our friendship of my telling her about Lee. Did she get upset? No, not Heidi. She thought it was wonderful.
"In fact, she even met and became good friends with Lee, but it wasn't until after we'd stopped fucking. And now I'll mention how that came about. I mean the 'no fucking' part of our relationship, which is really the point of this whole story.
"One night Heidi looked at me and said, 'You'd rather be with Lee, wouldn't you?' I couldn't lie to her so I admitted it.
" 'Okay then,' she said. 'Our relationship's over.' That's all she seemed willing to say, so I got up and got dressed. She still didn't say anything, so I left the room, after kissing her on the cheek, and headed for the front door.
"I had my hand on the door knob when she called me. 'Hey,' she said, 'I'm investing a little money in a film that has a role in it for a guy who's good looking and who can act. Think you could handle it?'
"I shook my head up and down fast and then I literally ran over to her and gave her the best and most sincere kiss I'd ever given her.
"She handed me a card. 'Be there at nine tomorrow,' she said. And then she pushed me out the door. See, I'm no loser."
Only time will tell where the subject's total involvement in the business of prostitution will lead him as far as his emotional life is concerned. It is extremely doubtful that he will consider any other kind of a profession, particularly since he feels that he can, at times, perform "a useful service" beyond the simple act of sexual performance, "a useful service" such as the one he had given the no-longer virgin, Heidi.