Chapter 3
Case History: Sid and Shirlee: Married.
It often takes only one small incident to break through the puritan mentality of certain housewives and send them on a headlong flight into the perverted world of animalism.
The case we are about to present is a classic example of such a process.
Sid and Shirlee were an affluent couple with a breathtaking apartment in one of San Francisco's most exclusive neighborhoods. He was a very successful lawyer with a wide range of social and cultural interests. Shirlee, at thirty-two, was still young and vibrant. She spent her days between caring for the apartment and collecting modern art, which she had developed a consuming passion for to keep her busy while her husband was away on business.
Sid, in spite of being almost forty, still possessed a child's love of a practical joke. His allegiance to that form of activity was so intense, in fact, that he joined a club of wealthy professional men who shared that allegiance.
It was only one of the many strange clubs on the West Coast that operated in the utmost secrecy. The members were interested in only one thing; finding an outlet for their bizarre sense of humor. Sid fit in like a glove and was soon highly respected by the members for his originality in thinking up humorous schemes. The club made a point not to tolerate any of the vulgar popular jokes which are such a part of American folklore, such as the exploding cigar. Instead, they were interested in the sophisticated, thought-out maneuver whereby the victim would realize that he was chosen because of some flaw in his own character. They envisioned themselves as practical philosophers who ultimately performed an important social task.
Once a year, each member of the club was obliged to perform such a joke on a close relative. Sid was determined to perform it on his wife. He laid his plans carefully. Then he proceeded to act. He invited Shirlee to a meeting of the club. Her reply was:
"Look, Sid, I'm not really interested in your silly jokes."
"This has nothing to do with jokes. The club members have a dinner once a year which is considered a gourmet's dream. All joking is suspended for that evening. The only thing out of the ordinary is a small contest during which we blindfold ourselves and try to identify certain dishes. The winner of the contest gets an engraved cup. Oh, it may be silly, but it's traditional and I'd like you to come."
It was a formal dinner so Shirlee had to purchase a dress and Sid rented a tuxedo. It had been so long since she had attended any kind of formal dinner that she became strangely excited. They arrived at the club's town house before nine o'clock. A doorman dressed in a plain brown uniform opened the massive doors and let them into the Victorian mansion. It was dark inside but hands reached out and took their coats.
Sid led his wife up the steep flight of marble stairs to the main dining where the dinner was being served.
Shirlee was extremely impressed by the decor of the house and by the massive quality of the fixtures. Nothing seemed to have changed in it for hundreds of years. Sid opened the door and they stepped into a well-lighted room where a long table had already been set. There were about ten other couples already there.
More couples drifted in and finally they sat down to eat. The food was truly excellent. Shirlee whispered to Sid that she apologized for ever having doubted him and that it was the most delicious meal she had ever eaten. Dish after dish of exotic food was served, each of them more succulent, each of them prepared with great style.
After coffee, Sid began to rap his fork against the table as a signal for silence. He stood and addressed those present:
"Now we will begin what has come to be a yearly ritual. Each of the women present, in turn, will place a blindfold over their eyes and try to guess the dish which is presented to them."
The contest began and it was a lot of fun for all of them. As each woman played and guessed, she was then required to wait outside until the final selection and the crowning of the winner. Finally, only Shirlee was left of all the women and the men assembled watched her closely as she put on the blindfold.
The dish was served.
"Open your mouth," Sid said.
She obeyed and she felt the delicacy slip between her lips. It was long and spongy. At first she thought it was some type of fruit, just by its length and texture. But then she realized that it had the unmistakable taste of meat.
"Are you ready to answer?" Sid asked her.
She nodded her head from side to side to show that she had not yet made a decision.
"Then let it go deeper into your mouth. The taste buds there are more sensitive," Sid advised her.
Shirlee obeyed and the dish moved deeper into her mouth. As she tried to make a decision, the thing began to have a strange effect upon her. Her mouth became heated and moist. Her lips began to tremble and she was forced to grasp the sides of the table with her hands to steady herself.
A number of men in the room called out to her to hurry with an answer. She sucked on the elongated dish, trying to extract a more definite taste other than the general one that it was some type of meat.
"Twenty seconds left," warned Sid.
She pulled it out of her mouth and said:
"I give up. I haven't the slightest idea what it was."
Someone took it from her and Shirlee began to remove the blindfold. Peals of laughter came from the men in the room. Suddenly, she heard chairs moving back and she felt that all the men were leaving the room. It was difficult taking the cloth off her eyes, but finally she unknotted it.
Looking around, she saw no one except Sid, who was grinning at her. She felt a sudden chill as if a disclosure was about to be made which would have a profound effect upon her.
"The dish in front of you, Shirlee. Look at it."
There was something in Sid's gleeful words which scared her. For some reason she did not want to look at the dish.
Sid moved to her and forced her head down, to the dish.
She saw it and became white. Her whole body began to tremble. Then, her long, piercing, almost hysterical scream echoed through the room.
On the plate was a freshly-severed bull's penis, its tip pointing toward her.
Shirlee lost consciousness. When she came to, Sid was standing over her.
"I didn't know, Shirlee, it would affect you. It was only a joke."
She looked at him but did not answer. She felt weaker than she had ever been in her life. He helped her up and they went home.
Shirlee recovered very slowly from that incident. She tried to analyze why it had affected her so badly, but the whole thing remained a mystery. Even when she no longer thought of that bull's organ, consciously, it began to intrude in her dreams. Gradually, it became so bad that she could not sleep for fear of conjuring up that horrible organ.
During our interview, Shirlee related the exact moment when she realized why she had been so brutalized by the incident. It occurred about a month after the actual event.
"I was seated in the kitchen. It was late at night and Sid was already asleep. My eyes were closing from fatigue but I was afraid to sleep for fear of meeting that organ once again.
"Then, while sitting there, my lips began to burn. At first I thought some foreign matter had fallen on them, but after wiping them with tissue paper, the burning sensations still persisted.
"It gradually spread to my whole mouth. My tongue became hot and moist. My lips began to tremble. And then, my mind began to do strange things.
"I envisioned that horrible bull's organ once again and the moment its picture appeared in my imagination, I began to tremble.
"Only this time I was not trembling from fear. I was trembling with lust. I wanted once again to feel its power and length between my lips. I wanted to have it slide between my lips and rest beneath my anxious tongue.
"I wanted to suck on that beast's organ until my mouth was dissolved by its fiery thrust."
Shirlee gradually was released from her hallucination. She rushed into the bedroom, woke her husband and began to curse him bitterly, actually striking him on the face. Her husband pushed her away and shouted at her:
"You fool! I admit the joke I played on you was cruel, but the seeds of your guilt were within you. Think! Don't you know the reason you reacted so violently to that harmless little joke? I'll tell you. Remember when you refused to indulge in any oral sex activities with me? Remember when you turned away in shame when I offered you my organ? Of course you do. The fact is that you have repressed the oral desire all of your life and the bull's cock, resting so beautifully between your hungry lips, broke through that repression and allowed your subconscious desire to surface. Perhaps, my dear, your desire is more for animals than the human variety."
She listened to his words in horror but she did not reply. Sitting down in a chair beside the bed, she buried her face in her hands. Something had to be done, she realized. Some way had to be found to still the turmoil within her.
Eventually she succumbed to her psychic needs. Here, in her own words, is the way in which she coped with the terrible desires which had surfaced in her:
"I told Sid I was leaving for a few days. He agreed that I needed a vacation. There was a small resort a few hours from San Francisco and I went there. Unknown to him, I picked the place because it was in close proximity to a farm which bred Black Angus cattle and various other prize breeds.
"The first few days at the resort, I rested in the sun. On the night of the third day, I began walking quickly to the farm. Most of the workers were asleep and I wondered about the fenced field. Suddenly, I saw, under a tree, the most magnificent bull, resting quietly.
"My heart began to beat furiously. I thrust my hand inside my blouse and stroked my naked breast in order to ease the excitement. Then I crept through the fence and began to approach him. The bull became nervous and snorted once or twice. I began to talk to him gently, saying nonsense words but trying to calm him. My eyes and whole body were riveted on the dark spot beneath him where I knew my destiny would be waiting.
"My hand went between my thighs for a moment, to feel the heat coming from my flower, to luxuriate in the lust which was moving through my body.
"I was a foot away. He was magnificent. How strange, I thought, that all of my life I have been deprived of such beauty.
"I stroked his powerful back and muzzle, but slowly my hands were moving to his center of life. I touched it and I almost wept as the massive shaft leaped into my hand. My fingers felt as if they possessed the most divine wisdom. The palms of my hands were like passionate gloves existing only to manipulate that flesh.
"The bull did not move then. He seemed to be waiting for me. I bent down and crawled beneath him on all fours.
"I kissed it. Yes, I kissed it with all the passion my lips could muster. The weapon began to move out of its protective sheath. My eyes widened in fascination. A few moments later the furious red cock was in front of me. Every fibre trembled. Every part of me reacted with lust.
"I moved under him and opened my mouth. As the fiery cock slid in, my eyes filled with tears and I dug my fingers into his underbelly. The night, the sky, the earth, all made a setting of other worldly grandeur, but when my teeth sunk into that organ and the bull moved, I had reached a reality more intense than any other moment in my life.
"The beast began to waver from side to side under my juicy lips.
"I was caught in a whirlwind of powerful movement but I held on. After all the years of repression, my desires had finally escaped and they moved to the point of contact; my lips and tongue which were sucking on that inflamed club.
"Then it was all over. I could not bring the beast to orgasm, but my lips were sated for the while."
The next night Shirlee returned to the bull. This time the creature seemed to recognize her. She described that second meeting:
"I wanted more than his organ this time. I wanted the total force of his primitiveness to penetrate me. I wanted to be raped by that brute.
"Again I held that mysterious organ in my hand and lavished all of my love on it. Each inch of flesh was covered by my hungry lips. I let my nipples move against it and shivered when his inflamed ram rod met my vibrating points.
"But even with it within my mouth, even with all that glory in me, I wanted more. I moved to the fence and the bull followed me. Holding on there, I tried to push my vagina to his massive face. The great tongue flicked out and lapped my vagina with such force that I almost went through the other side.
"Frustrated, I moved beneath him again and grasped that twisting organ, forcing it between my thighs, trying to savagely penetrate me.
"But it was too big. No matter how I forced it, it would not enter. I began to weep with rage and every part of my body was screaming with anticipation. The sweat poured down my naked body. Unable to effect entry, I let go of that primitive rod and wandered, forlorn and despairing in the field. Then I saw a knotted stick. Quickly, I picked it up and raced to the bull. The beast snorted and scraped the dirt with his hoof.
"I ignored him and moved underneath again. As I took the flesh in my mouth, with my other hand I rammed the knotted stick deep in my anus. Thus, we moved together, in unison, my lips rising and falling against his stiff flesh and the stick plunging brutally and sensually between my thighs.
"That time it happened. Suddenly, the bull began to quiver and a second later my mouth was filled with the most beautiful liquid, the hot, sweet seed of a beast. Seconds passed and then my own body responded to the stick and the orgasm left me a quaking mass of flesh on Mother Earth.
"I lay there for a long while. My face was buried in that soil. It seemed as if I had returned to everything that was decent. I don't know how many hours I lay there, but I left just as the first rays of dawn were beginning to appear.
"Looking back, I saw the massive silhouette of the bull. And I knew then why the ancient Greeks and other civilizations had decorated their precious pottery with the figure of the bull. That animal, above all, was the spiritual reincarnation of the cock. That animal, above all, could show the way to freedom, which for me, was the taste of his organ.
"When I arrived back at the lodge, I realized that I was free. Quickly I packed and returned home. It was late and Sid was in bed. Without saying a word I rushed at him and opened his pajamas. Extracting his inert organ from the fabric, my lips brought it quickly to a state of excitement. A second later he cried out as the seed poured from him, into my waiting love."
It is quite a remarkable story. At present the couple is quite happy and Shirlee claims that she has had no relapse into animalism. Furthermore, she told me that her sexual life with Sid now includes all forms of oralism, which she finds quite delightful.
We do not have enough information yet to know whether such single interludes with animals are common. But one thing is definite and that is Shirlee's use of perverted animalism, brought on by one chance incident, as a therapeutic aid.
If our research shows that her case is common, then many views held by psychologists as to the harmful effects of such perversions will have to be revised.
CASE HISTORY: Rushel, age 54.
Rushel is a wealthy society matron who gives her time and efforts to charity drives. Her husband died a few years ago and her children are all grown with families to take care of themselves. Rushel lives in a fashionable New York apartment with a maid for company. She is good looking and seems about ten years younger than she really is. She does not have to worry about finding men because they seek her out. Being a realist she contends that they are really after her money which is reported to be over the ten million dollar mark.
The reason the society matron went to a psychiatrist in the first place was because of terrible headaches she kept having that had no physical cause. The doctor assumed that the woman was going through change of life. He encouraged Rushel to talk about her past and from what he gathered, she appeared to have led a very sedate, trouble-free existence. As a child she went to a posh finishing school, was a very popular debutante, had married an heir to an industrial fortune, raised happy children and appeared to have settled down to her widowhood amid her millions.
Why would such a woman have problems? The headaches she had were obviously mentally based and the doctor probed to find out just what was causing her disturbance. The woman had no homosexual problems. Her relations with men were proper and stable. Her life with her husband had been a happy one. And yet the doctor still felt that sex was at the bottom of her problem.
After the sixth session on the couch the doctor had Rushel talk about movies she had enjoyed. Sometimes this could lead to a clue about her leanings.
Rushel's eyes brightened. "King Kong!" she announced quickly. "I saw that movie when it first came out. I was just a girl then but I can't forget that picture! Every time it comes on T.V. I see it. I know it is really a childish movie but I can't help myself. I even dream about scenes from that movie."
The doctor did not demonstrate any reaction but he knew he had stumbled upon something important. To be attracted to a certain movie is revealing enough but to actually dream about it indicated that this was a valuable clue to the problem.
"What scenes do you dream about?" the doctor asked casually.
Again the matron answered quickly. "That part where King Kong climbs up the building and reaches in the girl's bedroom! Imagine having a giant ape kidnap you!"
Rushel shuddered as she recalled both her dream and the movie.
"And then King Kong took the girl in her bedclothes up the Empire State building. The ape was really in love with the girl, can you imagine that? I always dream about that part where he looks at her with his huge rolling eyes and then puts her gently down on top of the Empire State. Sometimes I even wake up with tears in my eyes when I dream of him being killed by those planes."
As Rushel talked about crying she reached for a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. This was the first real emotion the doctor had been able to get out of the matron.
When the session ended the doctor knew that he was near the core of her problem. Why was she so attracted to this giant ape? It was obvious to him that she related with the actress who had been grabbed and taken out of her bedroom. It was also obvious that her affection toward King Kong was a sexual one.
On the next session the doctor probed still deeper into her dreams and musings. He felt the woman begin to resist him and this convinced him that he was getting near a tender spot. It took all of the doctor's patient skill to do it but he finally got the society matron to talk about one of her favorite daydreams.
"Sometimes I just want to give it all up ... this noisy, busy life of mine. How I dreaded all those teas I had to give for the wives of my husband's clients. How I hated going to affairs I didn't want to go to but had to because it was expected of me. Even when I was at the opera my mind used to wander ... I used to think of myself as a native living naked in the jungle. I used to imagine myself climbing trees going up, up, up, up until I left the world far below. I wondered what it would be like not to be human at all but an animal ... an ape. All one needs to live is to eat, to sleep, to love. Apes do all these. What would it be like to be a female ape instead of a female human? Sometimes I could almost see myself lying in the branches of a tremendous tree when a male ape shows up. The male is massive and hairy. His eyes roll over me in sheer animal lust. Then He comes near me in all his naked, beastial glory. His manly part is standing up like a flagpole and I know that he is about to shove himself into me. I wait. And then he pounces on me. Oh, that flagpole of his just about goes out my spine! He keeps ramming and ramming and ramming ... "
Suddenly the society matron became aware of what she had been saying. She had revealed one of her favorite erotica musings. "Oh, I'm sorry, doctor," she blushed. "I didn't mean to go on like that."
The doctor smiled and showed that he was not disturbed. "All of us have dreams," he said.
"But ... about animals?"
"You would be surprised how many people have dreams much like yours."
By the simple question of asking his patient what kind of movies she liked, the doctor had discovered a wide streak of animalism in the woman. It was buried deep but the strange and perverted leaning was there. It had been there all along.
The doctor concluded that Rushel, while seeming to enjoy her protected life, actually hungered for danger and lust. Since her posh upbringing forbade her to have such thoughts about men she turned them to animals. Seeing the movie, "King Kong," focused her animalistic inclinations on apes. Rushel hoped that some great beast would steal her away and make love to her. She wanted to enjoy real life for once instead of her rounds of teas and social gatherings.
The matron had managed to repress her buried feelings when she had a husband and children to take care of. But, at the age of fifty-two, she found herself alone in the world again. The social gatherings now had no meaning at all. At least, when her husband was alive, she had to attend them for business purposes.
Out of her need to enjoy raw emotion again the matron fell back on her old, animalistic dreams. Since they were still just dreams she could not have any real satisfaction. This frustration led to her headaches.
The doctor explained his findings to the woman and she was shocked. "Why, I never heard of such a thing! You sound like a dirty pervert! I have a mind to report you to the medical board!"
This was a familiar charge to the doctor. The majority of his patients could not stand the revealed truth about themselves. They usually took it out on the doctor.
But, once Rushel was made to accept the fact that she had an urge to mate with animals and why she had this urge, the matron no longer had headaches. She returned to the doctor for advice. "What must I do ... go and live in a tree with an ape?"
The doctor smiled. "You don't have to go that far. But, what you should do is attend less social affairs. Just go to the ones you really want to go to. Take up new interests. Travel, enjoy a freer life without all these social pressures."
"But ... I have obligations to my charities," she argued.
"You also have an obligation to yourself," the doctor said. "Charities will always be around but you must enjoy life while you can."
The wealthy matron took his advice. She returned to the doctor's office a few months later tanned and smiling. She seemed trimmer and younger. "Doctor, I want to invite you personally to my wedding!" she greeted.
The woman had met a man in her travels and she assured him that he was no fortune hunter. Although the groom-to-be was a truck driver several years younger than herself he had not known about her millions until after he had proposed.
When the doctor went to the wedding he saw Rushel's new mate for the first time. He was a hulking, hairy man who looked ill-at-ease in his rented morning suit. He looked, in fact, very much like a dressed-up ape ... King Kong, to be more exact.
Rushel had found a healthy outlet for her animalistic leanings in a human being.
CASE HISTORY: Arthur W., age 26.
Arthur is a school teacher, married and with two small children. His problems began with insomnia. He tried sleeping pills but he became addicted to them. His work at school suffered when he took pills to sleep and other pills to keep himself awake. In time the school authorities found out about his inability to teach his young charges and they recommended that he see a psychiatrist to see what was troubling him so. Arthur, worn down by his sleeplessness and his pills, agreed to go.
The first thing Arthur asked for was some more sleeping pills but the doctor warned him against it. Sleeping pills should only be used sparingly and not as a regular diet. He had to be retrained to sleep without drugs.
To even begin to retrain him the doctor had to first know what it was that prevented him from sleeping in the first place. When the doctor examined his past life he appeared to be a bright, studious type who always got good marks in school. His sex life didn't seem exciting, however and he went into his marriage, at the age of twenty-two, as a virgin groom.
This was about as far as Arthur would allow the investigation into his sex life to go. "I have no sex problems so let's drop it," he told the doctor sharply.
The doctor didn't probe any further but he felt sure that the young man was hiding something. He then switched to the area of dreams. "When you do get to sleep do you have any dreams?" the doctor asked.
"Dreams?" the school teacher answered. "They are more like nightmares."
"Tell me about them."
"Well, I can't exactly phrase this right but, when I find myself falling off to sleep I feel so ... so helpless."
"Helpless?"
"You know what I mean. When you are asleep you are at the mercy of things and people. Maybe that's why I can't go to sleep easily."
"You spoke of nightmares," the doctor went on. "Do you have any one that keeps recurring?"
"Yes, a really wild one about snakes. The funny thing is I like snakes. I like to handle them but, in my dreams, these animals suddenly become fearsome things. I feel at the mercy of them. I feel as if they are out to destroy me. When I fall asleep I find myself on an empty plain. I'm naked. I don't see the snakes at first but I know they are there. And then I feel one starting to curl around my leg. I try to pull away but another drops across my shoulder. When I pull that one away two more jump on me. Pretty soon I'm covered by snakes and I fall down. The animals keep twisting and turning all over my body. They enter into me through my mouth and anus. I feel them inside me, spitting and eating. And that is how the nightmare ends, with these snakes destroying me."
The doctor jotted down his words without comment. Then he said, "And you say that you really like snakes?"
"Yes, that's the oddest part of all. I've owned snakes ever since I was a kid. Most kids have dogs but I always was a bit different. I would still have them except that my wife won't allow them in the house. I can understand that. Women can't stand snakes and with the children, I guess it is better to keep them out."
The doctor got Arthur to talk more about his snake pets. As a boy he used to keep them by the dozen in the basement of his home. Since he was an only child his parents indulged him. Arthur talked almost lovingly about his pets and about how smooth and dry they felt in his hands. "I tell you, doctor," he said, "those snakes were my best friends. I could get along with them better than people."
For awhile the doctor avoided the subject of his childhood hobby and his nightmares and carefully probed him about his friends and companions. The doctor discovered that Arthur seemed to admire athletic types. Since he was not athletic himself he looked up to track stars and baseball players.
With what the doctor learned so far about him he began to develop a diagnosis but he needed just a bit more information to pull everything into place. Arthur had not always had these nightmares and this insomnia. They had started at a very precise time. When the doctor questioned the school teacher about his life at school at the time his problems began he found that he had been given the duty of helping the gym teacher. It was his job to see that the boys took showers and to keep them in order.
Now the doctor formed his conclusion. Arthur was a latent homosexual. The shakes were fairly obvious phallic symbols in his dreams especially when they entered his mouth and anus to spit and eat inside his body. This was exactly what Arthur wanted, to have male organs thrust into him.
As a boy the school teacher's admiration for athletic types was the first indication of his homosexual leanings. Too shy to actually make love to these boys he turned to loving snakes instead. When Arthur spoke of how wonderful the snakes felt in his hand he was really talking about male sex organs.
But Arthur never gave into his homosexual leanings and managed to repress them. He married and had children but his urges still remained. They sprang to life when he was sent to the gym where he watched husky young boys showering themselves. Their exposed organs thrilled him but he dared not even admit this to himself. If he ever tried to molest one of these boys he would be fired ... destroyed.
While Arthur managed to control his homosexuality in his waking hours he could not control his dreams where this urge came slithering out at him in the form of snakes. It was in these dreams he was found out and destroyed.
Arthur was not aware of the connection between the snakes and male organs but he somehow gathered that his nightmares were pointing up the problem he never dared face. To sleep meant to dream and to dream meant to have himself exposed, naked, on a plain with "snakes" crawling into his body. It was little wonder that he complained of being "helpless" in sleep and at the "mercy" of things and people.
It is always difficult for a doctor to inform his patient that he has homosexual leanings. No matter how the doctor tried to phrase his conclusion the school teacher was angry. He struck the doctor in the face and stalked out of the office. Being punched by angry patients was an occupational hazard among psychiatrists.
A week or so later Arthur came back to apologize. He also came back to say that he had agreed with the doctor's findings. Once he admitted his homosexual leanings to himself he was no longer afraid of them and once he was no longer afraid of them, his nightmares disappeared. When the nightmares no longer bothered him he felt no fear about falling to sleep and his insomnia was cured.
"Do you think I'll ever touch one of these boys?" the teacher wanted to know.
"I doubt it," the doctor replied. "Since you've managed to control these feelings all your life there is no reason why you can't go on doing so. However, if you like, you can drop this extra work you are doing at the gym. I can tell the school authorities that you will get more sleep if you had this much less work to do."
The teacher agreed and he was no longer faced with the temptation of looking at handsome nude boys in the shower rooms. The cured patient began to sleep regularly without pills once more, a wiser man.
Most of us, at one time or another, had the urge to murder someone but very few of us do it. So it is with animalism. As long as this perversion, like the need to kill, is kept safely within dreams and imagination we need not worry.