Chapter 4

Christine Shae felt listless. At breakfast this morning her father had scolded her for slouching around the house. Only Freddy seemed oblivious to his sister's dejected mood, and that was because he was busy spending every moment he could with April and Dawn in the clubhouse.

A secret that Tina kept from everybody was that she was masturbating as much as three times a day. This had been going on for three days, ever since that first morning in the clubhouse. When Freddy told her the girls next door wanted her to join them, Tina pleaded not feeling well.

Tina was at that point where her budding body and confused mind were making her miserable! There was so much she wanted to know and she had nobody to ask! Why did she want sex all the time? Did everybody want sex as much as she did?

Was there something wrong with her? And what about her father? What did he do to satisfy the urgent demands of his body? Why didn't he date women?

Over the past two days, Tina followed her father around the house whenever he was home. She studied him in a new light, and she found him the most handsome, intelligent man in the world. The twelve-year-old girl also felt sorry for him. Her stupid mother and the curse of alcohol had deprived him of someone to love, someone to satisfy his sexual urges.

Tina was certain that at his age her father's sexual urges were very strong. She even checked the Kinsey study of male sexual behavior out of the library, only to return it the following day because she couldn't make heads or tails out of all those charts and graphs.

Of one thing the pre-teenage girl was certain, if there were any way she could make love to her father, she would do it! How she longed to end his solitary misery! It was the thought of making love with her father that sent Tina to the bathroom to masturbate so often every day.

Tina wondered if her father ever thought of her the same way. She even wondered if it was possible that he wanted her as much as she wanted him? Twice, she'd caught him looking at the fullness of her bosom and her young heart almost skipped a beat! But when she had shown up at the breakfast table in a loose robe and deliberately allowed it to open while she ate, he had scolded her and told her to put something on if she couldn't keep her robe buttoned.

If there was only some way she could let him know! As each day passed, Tina became more convinced that she was in love with her father and that it was her mission in life to comfort him and give him the satisfaction he deserved and needed.

"Psssst! Tina!"

Tina looked up from her deep thoughts to find her brother standing in the door to her room. "What is it?"

"We're having a party in the clubhouse," Freddy said in a low, conspiratorial voice. "Why don't you join us?"

"I don't feel like it," Tina'responded.

"We're gonna have a lot of fun," Freddy urged.

"Not today, Freddy," Tina said. "And you'd better be real careful. Somebody is going to catch the three of you, and thereTl be hell to pay!"

"Aw, nobody is going to catch us!" Freddy protested. "We're real careful. Besides, nobody comes into the clubhouse. So how can we be caught? Come on, why don't you join us?"

"I told you-I don't feel like it today," Tina said. "But I still say you'd better be careful."

"Nobody will ever find out, unless you tell them."

"I'm not going to tell anybody!" she snapped in iritation. "You know me better than that!"

"Sure you won't join us?" he offered again. "I'm sure," she sighed.

Tina watched her older brother leave her room with a sense of foreboding. She didn't understand it, but something deep inside made her feel that something bad was about to happen. She asked herself why she refused to join Freddy with the girls, and she couldn't find an immediate answer. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the things they did together. After the way her body had responded to what April had done to her, she could hardly pretend she didn't like the things they did!

She had a vague, difficult to define, feeling that she was more mature than they were. She felt much more adult! If only she could make her father understand that! Tina knew that he still thought of her as a child, even after she had developed her beautiful bust!

Tina glanced out of her window and saw Freddy jumping from the pecan tree into the Garson back yard.