Chapter 7
The next evening, he went to Grace Edwards and was the aggressor with her. The moment ?he closed the door to her apartment, Ed yanked her to him, put one arm tightly about her and, with the other hand, squeezed her buttocks hard.
Grace's face flushed, but she was delighted with the strong show of what she considered masculinity. With almost no preliminaries, he unbuttoned her dress and reached for her breasts. She became even more aroused, at once.
Boland hefted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He set her down on the bed and moved next to her. Grace moved to accommodate him and the moment before he joined their bodies, her face took on a strangely sober expression. In that moment, Boland knew he couldn't go through with it. In spite of his need, there had to be a place where he drew the line. He'd gone far enough with Grace already.
"All right, Ed," she said, "what is it?"
He shook his head. "This is no good. Grace."
She laughed ruefully. "I'll say it isn't. You've got me terribly excited. It's something to do with Lilly, isn't it?"
Boland nodded.
"You need money. don't you?"
"One thousand eighty dollars and seventy-five cents."
"That's why you did this?"
"That's right."
"And you realized you couldn't go through with it, didn't you? That's why you stopped. Ed, you poor thing. You probably think you're a heel, but you're not. You've given me something great and you haven't left me confused or twisted. You've done your job well, even though it was a job you didn't want, didn't even consider a job. Ed, I'm sorry, but all I have to give you is five hundred dollars. We'll call it a long term loan. In a way, I like to think of it as your first fee."
Boland was stunned, riddled with guilt. But he accepted the money and sent it along to the Parsons School. They replied promptly that he had three months for the final installment. They were making arrangements, they said, for him to have oral examinations in his study courses, eliminating some of the expense and book work.
That left a little over five hundred dollars to go. And when he saw Nola Peddersen, he believed he might have the answer to that. As a teacher, Nola could draw a low-interest loan and transfer it to him. He could make the monthly payments and Mac would never have to know.
"You have no idea how important this is to me, Nola," he said. "I've come to you because I'm desperate."
She sat lazily on the hassock, wearing essentially the same costume she'd worn the day he'd assembled the kitchen table for her-the day he'd made love to her on the hassock.
"Well, you're certainly flattering," Nola said. "You make me feel like a last resort, as though you're ashamed to come to me for help. I thought we were good, close friends, Ed."
"Nola, you know that's true. I'd do anything for you, even if that money weren't a consideration."
Nola uttered a low, sensual laugh and swung her bare feet into his lap. "Would you really, Ed? Would you really do anything for me?"
"Anything within reason. You know that."
"I'll be glad to get the money for you, Ed. And yes, there is something you can do for me, something I've been thinking about for a long time, something I don't dare ask Mac. He's a marvelous husband and I love him deeply, Ed, but there are places where he's short sighted. On the other hand, you aren't. You take a more tolerant view of what we call the human condition."
"What are you getting at, Nola?"
"I'm coming to it, Ed. You're the only person I know I can broach this to, just as I'm the only person who can help you. I think it's rather poetic in a way."
Boland stiffened in apprehension. "I think you'd better tell me before we carry this any further."
Nola bounded even closer so that her legs were draped completely over his lap. Holding his arm, she whispered in his ear and he felt himself grow dizzy as she explained to him what she wanted. In rather coarse, unexpectedly frank language, Nola named two specific ways in which she wanted Boland to make love to her.
"That's absurd, Nola."
"No it isn't, Ed. I've been thinking about them both for a long time and frankly, I'm curious, very curious. I guess you can say that it will have an effect on my sex life until I do find out what it's like."
"But couldn't you ask Mac?"
"Darling, I told you. For all he's a marvelous man, Mac knows only two basic positions. When he's tired, I'm on top, when he isn't; I'm on the bottom. Those are his horizons, pure and simple and frankly, Ed, I've reached the point where I want to know."
"You could work up to it. You could skillfully overcome any of his objection."
"I tried one of the things and he nearly hit me."
"This requires patience."
"I'm out of patience, that's why you come in so handy, Ed."
"That's lazy."
"So it's lazy. I want to know. I want to know if it's worth the effort of working on him. Now you've got to admit, what I'm asking for, both of them, aren't so terrible. At least four of the marriage manuals you told me to read mention them. They all say the same thing. They say that nothing is wrong or ugly about love where there is mutual respect and tenderness between the two parties. They say the only real perversions are situations where there is a great excitement over the element of pain. Neither of the things I've mentioned is painful, Ed."
"But if I'm not mistaken, both are against the law in this state."
"Then the law is wrong."
"Nola, it's just as wrong for you to be the sole judge."
"But I'll bet you've done these things. How are people supposed to change and grow if old laws hold them back? Every year, hundreds of laws are changed, new ones are made. One of the theories of law is the greater good for the greater number. You can't tell me that isn't the greater good."
"No, I can't. Neither can I tell you that adultery is good."
"And in this case, you can't tell me it's bad. My husband has higher standards than he's ever had before, better pay, better home life and more love. I'm not going to argue about things. You know what I want, Ed. A simple yes or no answer is all I require. Will you do the things to me I asked you?"
He watched her for a moment, thankful she just sat there and did not try teasing or alluring him. Although it hadn't been said, he also knew the loan depended on his fulfilling her demands. They were not, he thought, so different from what they'd already done. And it was a means to achieve a goal.
His eyes scanned her small, desirable body and he realized that there would be a certain element of pleasure in doing as she requested. He could recall his own curiosities about these things earlier. Nola was right, the aspect of perversion did not apply. But what about the means he was using to achieve his goal?
What about the goal? If a thing was worthwhile, a great deal was justified to attain it. What was he after? A phony Ph.D. degree that would get him to Lilly. Was that all so important? No, he told himself honestly, not unless you make something worthwhile out of it. You're going to be a marriage counselor and deal with people's problems on a professional basis. Nola is the second woman whose problems you've heard that you've gone to bed with. That will have to stop, but definitely. You will very positively have to make good, to do well.
"Okay," he told Nola. "You win."
She kissed the tip of his ear. "Don't make it sound so grim. You know the sight of me excites you. You know you'll enjoy it, too, Ed."
He was pleased by one insistent stipulation Nola made. "Call it anything you want, Ed, but I absolutely will not make love with another man on Mac's and my bed. That's ours and that's how it's always going to be."
She drew all the living room blinds and decided on the large sofa.
"Which shall it be first?" Boland asked.
Nola peeled her tight pants off her hips and unbuttoned her blouse. She stood on her tiptoes to reach him for a kiss, then sprang to the sofa, turning on her stomach. "This way," she said. "And Ed, please hurry. You don't have to bother with preliminaries. Now that I'm finally going to get what I want, I'm so excited I can hardly wait."
Boland moved onto the sofa, his weight on his knees. As he brought their bodies together, he felt a gigantic shudder of ecstasy course through Nola and he was aware of a further change in her personality. The times they'd made love before, she moaned and crooned softly, but now she became aggressive and demanding, urging him on with language that surprised him.
To his own amazement, he found himself carried away, hastily complying with her demands as her legs and hips thrashed about. Nola cried out several times, incoherently, then demanding more, more, more. Breathless,. Boland realized they were both close to the point of release and he knew with a sudden jab of fear that this aspect of Nola's personality would want out again and again.
When it was over, Boland started to move away, but she cut him short by an insistent demand. "No you don't Ed. You stay there. That's too good to stop just because we've finished. Oh, Ed, that was absolutely sensational. I never realized anything could be that exciting."
Finally, Boland did move away from her. She turned back over onto her hips to face him, her breasts still rising and falling rapidly as her breathing gradually decreased intensity. "You aren't kidding it's worth the effort to bring Mac around. Oh, is he going to get worked on."
Nola suddenly began to giggle. "Ed, you gave yourself away. I could see that look of relief on your face when I said I was going to try to get Mac to do this with me. It was such a funny look, as though you feared I'd demand this from you incessantly. The simple truth of the matter is, I'll only ask you for once more. Then we'll spend the afternoon with the other and then, my darling, mentor and confidante, you can be merrily on your way to California to cure others with problems of an intimate nature. You can count me among your all-time happiest of patients, Ed Boland."
"Do you want to make love again-now?"
"Of course I do. And look at you, Ed. You do, too. Oh, this is a really wonderful day for me, Ed. Satisfying in so many ways. But look at you, you're still not convinced. You have misgivings and I think it's wonderful. Does that make you the normal one and me the sex pervert? Or is the other way around?" She giggled and turned over on her stomach. "Or is it really none of these? Come to me, my lover. Make love to me again."
It was different this time. Nola Peddersen uttered loud, sensual throaty sounds, bordering on laughter until release came over her and caused her to moan with pleasure. Boland was excitedly aware of her active hips and legs, of the steady continuous pleasure radiating through his own body.
This part is all over, he told himself hopefully. He'd won. Another day of making love to Nola and it was all finished, there was nothing to stand in the way of himself and Lilly-and a career that was as close to what he wanted as he could get.
Nola's writhing, bucking hips and legs succeeded in driving the final burst of passion through him and as release came flooding forth, Ed Boland realized he'd gone further than he'd ever have imagined to achieve a goal that hadn't even been his to begin with.
He lay next to her, taking in the warmth and after-excitement of her vibrant body and wondered just how strong he was, just bow smart he was, knowing what he did about sex and people and yet being so susceptible to it.
"Wasn't that divine, lover?" Nola said with enthusiasm.
Boland decided it was time-at last, at long last-to start being honest. It was the only way to face consequences squarely, the only way to deal with them. "Yes," he said, "it was probably one of the most exciting things that ever happened to me."
"Darling," Nola said, "you start talking like that around here and Baby'a going to want you again."
"I know," Boland said, "I was thinking about that."