Introduction
It is one of the crucial findings of modern psychology that there is a strong latent desire in all of us to act out our sexual fantasies on the bodies of young children.
Once these latent desires break through the barrier of the subconscious, we enter the world of bizarre perversions known as Pederasty and Pedophilia.
The annals of history are filled with stories of great men who have, in a moment of incredible lust, sacrificed everything to spend a few hours plucking the virginal flower from the thighs and buttocks of young boys and girls.
But it is the reverse side of this perversion, the grown Oman's desire for young boys, which is the most interesting from a clinical point of view and the least documented. These memoirs are one of the most important events in the history of the study of this phenomenon. For the first time in modern times, we have an educated, sophisticated woman disclosing how she was caught up in the perversion and was sucked deeper and deeper until it became the center of her life.
There are various theories as to why a grown woman lapses into such behavior. The most accepted is based on the Electra complex; the desires of every girl to sleep with her father and destroy her mother. According to this theory, when the desire for the father's genitals is not resolved, the girl develops a hatred for all men. Thus, when she grows up and desires a man, she also wants to dominate him completely. It is perfectly natural, then, to seduce innocent boys who can be totally dominated.
But this is the classical theory. There is another group of younger psychologists who are opposed to such an explanation. These people seem to think that reverse Pederasty and Pedophilia is perfectly proper if both sides are consenting. According to them, it is a puritanical society which dictates certain sexual partners and there is no reason that the delightful fruits of young bodies should not be tasted. Furthermore, no other group of persons is so exploited as the grown woman and they can only break out of their bonds by entering into dramatic sexual relationships.
The reality of the situation is much more complex than either of these theories. As the reader begins these memoirs he will notice how the many strands of this woman's life seem to come together, slowly and inexorably, until she is forced to appropriate the bodies of the young boys.
Even as she is in bed with them, and her hands are moving over their bodies, feeling the growing passion in their virginal organs, she gives us the complex thoughts which are present in her mind. Even as her mouth is circling the most treasured gift of all and she is caught up in a passion she cannot control, we are able to read a description of that lust.
What makes these memoirs so crucial in our understanding of this perversion is primarily the graphic nature of her descriptions. In order to understand any perversion it is imperative to have exact clinical descriptions of the event. It is not enough to say that one indulges in Oral sexual acts with a young boy. We must have a complete knowledge of the movements of lips and penis. We must know exactly what happens no matter how it offends our sensibilities.
One feels that the writer of these memoirs knew that and that she was trying to make a contribution to the clinical literature of the subject as well as creating a work of art which would live in the coming years as a revealing specimen of one woman's passion.
The reader will notice a very definite pattern in these memoirs. At first, the woman is unsure of herself, ridden with guilt as she is forced to give in to her bizarre tastes. She seduces at first, younger boys, boys who cannot assert their own masculinity, but are just there to be plucked like ripe fruit.
But as her subconscious forces her deeper and deeper into the perversion, she becomes more bold both in her choice of young boys and in the sexual activities which she offers them.
Her reluctance to give biographical information about her conquests is quite understandable. This woman is an executive in an important industry, one of the few women who has reached such an ex halted level. There can be no doubt that if her true identity could be disclosed, her career would be ruined.
She is quite proud of the station she has reached in life in spite of the tremendous obstacles that were put in her way. Furthermore, it is her iron will and her independence which accounts for her total committment to young boys. The average housewife would never have been able to overcome the middle class taboos against such behavior.
Nor would the average woman have had the courage not only to seduce young boys but to act out every sexual perversion in the dictionary of erotic experience. The writer of these memoirs exhibited a total abandon. Oralism, Analism, Sado-Masochism, Fetishism, Bizarre Genital Play, and scores of other less known aberrations. Yet, even in the face of these sexual storms, we cannot be repelled. Her sensitivity, her love for the young boys, breaks through the erotic descriptions and we catch glimpses of a woman who is desperately seeking a love which she cannot define.
In order to make clear to the reader the clinical significance of each of her conquests, at the end of each chapter of the Memoirs I have added a brief but important note trying to explain her hidden impulses.
These notes will give the reader a balanced and "inside" look at her erotic development.
But these memoirs are of such importance to the world of psychological investigations that they will be commented on for years to come and my observations are only a tentative beginning. The woman's story, in all its lust and perversity, will stand alone as a work of literature and as a testimony to the bottomless depths of lust which lie in the subconscious of every woman.
-S. P. Currie Ph.D.