Chapter 3
THE SUBTEEN BISEXUAL
"I don't really remember my mother and father. I was only four when they were killed, and I was put into the orphanage soon after that. It was all right when I was small, because I didn't know any different. I guess there wasn't much attention or affection, with more than 200 kids in the place. There never seemed to be enough of anything to go around, and that went for love or caring.
"I know that I felt all alone. I used to cry myself to sleep, unless the night matron came in and bawled me out, and then I would bury my head under the pillow to muffle my sobbing.
"I don't know when I began to get the attention I always wanted. I think I was almost ten. Then, all at once, one of the men who used to I work in the yard-mowing the lawns, planting and tending flowers-began to take an interest in me. I can remember clearly how it happened. I saw him planting some seeds, and it interested me. We were studying nature and animals in school, and I wanted to see how a seed was planted, then grew. He was on his knees, and he smiled when I walked down the row of little hills he'd already made.
"I squatted down, and I suppose my legs were spread, and I had forgotten that I had a big hole in the crotch of my panties. He could see my spread slit real easy, and I noticed his eyes coming back to stare at it, every few seconds while we talked.
"He was nice. He explained to me how the sun and the water made the seed blossom, and he even asked me if I'd like to plant some. When I started to, he reached across and put his fingers into my pussy! It made me jump, but it gave me a tickle, too, so I didn't try to move away. He said, 'Do you like that, honey?' I just nodded, and pretended to be planting seeds, so he kept on shoving his finger in deeper until he touched my little love-mound.
"When he began to rub it, I guess I gasped, and I moved closer to him so he could do it some more. But he looked up toward the big building and stopped doing it. I looked and saw that some of the other girls were out on the lawn and were looking our way.
"He stood up, and he was smiling. 'That was fun, wasn't it?' he asked. I nodded and smiled back. It was so new to me to have anyone interested in just me, to talk to me that way.
"He said, 'Why don't you meet me in the tool shed, and I'll show you a lot of other ways to have fun.' I was still feeling the tingle inside my pussy, so I said I would. He told me to put my books away-school was over for the day- and then to come down to the tool shed when nobody was looking. 'It'll just be our secret,' he said.
"I went to the big building and put my books away. Then I went out the back door. The tool shed was behind the garages, and you couldn't see it from the house-that's what we all called the big building where we ate and slept, the house.
"Nobody was watching, and I had almost an hour before dinner time, so I went around to the tool shed and walked in. It was sort of dim inside, but I could see that he was waiting. He had unzipped his blue denim trousers, and I saw that he had his cock in his hand. I'd seen a boy's thing before, but not up close like that. It was stiff and it stood straight up, and he was rubbing it up and down with his one hand around it. Almost without thinking, I reached out and touched it. It was hot, and it seemed to jump a little when I put my hand on the head of it.
"He let go of his dink, reached out, and put his hand between my legs. It felt even better this time, because I was getting excited about having his big prick in my hand. I began to jerk it like he had been doing, and he began to rub my knob again. I began to feel all hot and tingly down there. After a minute, he stopped and pulled my panties down. I stepped out of them, and he took my hand off his prick and picked me up in his arms. He began to kiss my mouth, and he pried my lips open with his tongue. When they were wide open, he began to stick his tongue inside my mouth, and I used mine to meet his. It was like we 'played tag' with our tongues, and it made me feel awfully hot between my legs.
"He laid me down on a pile of burlap bags that were stacked in a corner. I lay back and spread my legs. I wanted him to do more things to me that felt as good as his fingers had. He got down on his knees and spread my legs. Then he began to kiss the inside of my legs, up high, near my pussy. He came higher and higher, and finally he spread the lips of my pussy with his fingers and he stuck his tongue in-hard! When it touched my knob, I bucked with excitement. It felt wonderful. He kept on going in deeper, running his tongue over my knob so that it began to throb. I never wanted him to stop! He began to do it faster, and I bucked and reared my ass to keep up with him. After a minute or so, I felt a strange, hot, exciting feeling spread from my knob to my whole stomach and even into my legs and fanny! I know now that it was my first 'come,' but all I knew then was that I almost fainted from the excitement it drove through my body.
"He took his mouth away, and I saw his cock bobbing up and down as he stood up. 'Will you do it for me?' he asked, holding it by the base, aiming it at my mouth. I was fascinated by it, and I was so happy at what he had done for me that I wanted to make him feel good, too. I reached out and took it in my hand, and he moved in closer to me, so that its head was almost touching my lips. I kissed the tip of it first, then I opened my lips and teeth wider. I remembered how good it had felt when he had shoved his tongue into my mouth and I wondered if this would feel even better-it was so big and stiff and hot!
"I began to let it go deeper and deeper, and I sucked on it. He began to moan, and he grabbed the back of my head and began to pull me even closer. His prick was going deep into my throat, and I was afraid it would choke me, but I wanted him to have that good feeling, too, so I kept on sucking. Then he started to push it into my mouth real fast, and I could feel it throb in my mouth. All at once, a big squirt of hot juice shot into my mouth! It surprised me, but all I could do was swallow it. It tasted salty, and was a little sticky, but it wasn't bad at all. I felt his prick jerking in funny little jumps, and then he took it out of my mouth. He leaned forward and kissed me, sticking his tongue into my mouth again and running it all over the inside of my mouth.
"His name was Harold, he told me later, and he played with my cunt some more until I got a pretty good feeling. Then he put my panties back on and said that we would do it again real soon-and 'maybe some other good things.'
"I got so I met Harold almost every day at that time, and we always had a lot of fun, playing with each other and sucking and rubbing. Once, he tried to shove his big cock between the lips of my pussy, but I screamed-I couldn't help it, it hurt so, so he stopped.
"I wanted to tell some of the other girls, my friends, about Harold, but I was afraid if I did he'd like them better than he did me, and then I wouldn't get to have any fun with him anymore. I used to play with myself when I went to bed at night. I would think about his tongue and his fingers, and how his cock felt inside my mouth, shooting hot juice into it, and I would have sort of the same feeling I had when he sucked my cunt.
"Then we got caught. One of the older girls had been fooling around with me, making strange remarks and always trying to get me alone. I didn't know that she was a lesbian, or even what a lesbian was, but there was something about her that I just didn't like. She had a rough voice and acted like most boys do-loud talk, big laugh, always slapping the other girls on the fanny and, sometimes, goosing them.
"Anyhow, Lucy must have seen us going into the shed, and she followed. When we had our clothes off, she walked in. Usually, Harold locked the door, but he forgot this time, and there we were, half naked, with Harold sucking my pussy and me with his cock in my mouth. We had learned that the 'sixty-nine' way was best when we didn't have much time, because we could both work on each other at the same time.
"Lucy just stood there, grinning at us. She knew she had a big whip, and she almost seemed to puff up with her own importance. Harold tried to bluff. He got up and scrambled into his pants and glared at her. He snarled, 'What are you doing here? I'm going to report you. You don't belong here!'
"Lucy kept on grinning, and then she pointed a finger at Harold's chest and moved forward until she was tapping with her finger every word she spoke. 'You're not reporting anybody, big shit,' she ground out. 'In fact, if you don't put your clothes on and walk out and never come back, I'll guarantee you you'll go to jail for a nice long time. Now scram, you punk bastard!'
"She sure had guts. I was shivering, I was so scared of what she could do to me. But I still didn't think it had anything to do with sex. Harold got all dressed and started out the door, then stopped and addressed me. 'Listen, Cora, don't let this goddamn queer get her hooks into you. She's fucked up every girl she hooked up with. Listen to me. Tell her to go fuck herself!'
"He left, and I still didn't know what he meant. All I knew was that I could really get screwed up if Lucy told the matrons and the headman about me and Harold.
"Lucy walked over as I was picking up my panties. She grabbed them from me and held them behind her back. I could see her eyes running up and down my body, and it made me more scared than ever.
"So you like your cunt sucked, huh?" she gloated. "Well, you haven't seen nothing yet. Lay down!" I was too scared to even react, and she screamed it the second time: "Lay your ass down, you little fucker, and I'll show you how a cunt should be sucked!" I dropped to the pile of bags, and she pushed me back so I was lying down all the way. She spread my legs and stared at my pussy. "No hair yet!" she gurgled. "I like 'em tender. At least I can get your cherry with a real woman on the sucking end!"
"She lay down so her head was between my legs, and she dug into my pussy with her fingernails, opening the lips wide. It hurt a little, but at the same time I was getting a funny kind of a thrill from it. It was different than with Harold, but it still gave me the tingles between my legs, and I was curious to know how it would feel if she licked and sucked it, like Harold had.
"She let me know in a hurry. She acted as if she was going to stick her head inside my pussy, the way she dived at me. She used her teeth on my knob-Harold had only nibbled it with his lips, but Lucy was really biting me. With the finger of one hand she was penetrating deep up inside my cunt, and with the other hand, under my bottom, she was shoving one of her fingers up my asshole!
"It gave me a brand new kick. Harold had licked it a couple of times, but he had never shoved his finger up into my hole. Lucy acted like a starving animal. She just ate my cunt! And, all the while, she was running her finger deep into my pussy, touching the innermost parts of it, and at the same time reaming my asshole with one of her long-nailed fingers! I came in less than a minute, and I still wanted more!
"Lucy got up and began to take off her panties. She pulled her skirt off, too, and I had never seen such a thick mat of hair as she had around her cunt! But I could still see the lips and the red, shiny, wet slit, and in a wild, crazy way, it made me hot all over. I wanted to taste her cunt, see what it felt like to nibble on her knob. She walked over and nudged me aside, then lay down on her back, her legs spread wide. I could see that she didn't have a bra on, because the nipples of her titties were shoving against the blouse and I could see them clearly. She noticed me eyeing them, I guess, because she unbuttoned her blouse quickly and let it fall to the side, exposing both her large, melon-like breasts.
"Without even thinking, I reached for the nipple of one. I rolled it around in my fingers, and she gave a little groan and said, 'Please suck on it, doll.' I liked the feel of the soft, cool hill of flesh, and I bent forward and took the nipple in my mouth, sucking it and massaging the other breast with my other hand. It seemed that every move I made just made the both of us that much hotter. I was tingling all over, and it didn't even dawn on me that I was with another female. Honest-all I wanted was sex-kissing and rubbing and licking, and I was getting it in big doses.
"I moved over and sucked her other tit for a time, meanwhile rubbing my pussy lips against one of-Lucy's legs, warming it up and getting wetter and hotter by the minute.
"Lucy reached up and gently pushed me away from her breast. She kept on pushing my head lower on her body. I knew what she wanted, and I wanted to give it to her. I used my fingers to spread her cunt lips, and I looked at her wide-open slit. It was a funny feeling, being that close and smelling and tasting her pussy. It smelled clean, but strange. The smell of it got me more excited than ever, and in a few seconds I just plunged my tongue into her cunt and began to suck and lick it. I remembered what she had done, so I ran one finger up inside her cunt until I could feel the inner walls, and then I slid the other hand under her ass and found her asshole with one of my fingers. I did everything the same way she had done it to me, and I could tell by the way she was rolling around and moaning that it was making her feel good. She began to move faster, raising her hips to meet my thrusting tongue, and I knew that she was going to come.
"When she did, I think I was surprised that no hot juice shot into my mouth. I think I had always assumed that a woman shot a load of come, the same as a man. But I knew she was having the same thrills I did, because she grabbed my head and kept pushing it hard, so my tongue would slide inside her deeper. I could feel her clit jumping around, and I knew when it stopped that Lucy had come.
"I learned later that Harold had really been scared off by Lucy. He didn't come to work next day, and I never saw him again.
"For a long time, I had sex almost every day with Lucy. She was a jealous bitch. She would get mad if she even saw me talking with any of the older girls-Lucy was seventeen. She'd been in the home since she was eleven and had never once been looked over by people wanting to adopt a child. She used to talk to me, and I could see that all those years of not being even 'looked over' had made her hard and, in a way, cruel.
"We had lots of chances for sex, because the older girls all had chores to do, and they supervised the new girls and the younger ones.
"I don't know how it would have turned out, because I realized all of a sudden that I really didn't like sex with another girl. Not that I thought it was wrong-but I kept remembering Harold, and how good it had been when I would play with his cock and get it hard before sucking him off. I was sorry a million times that I had been such a baby the day he tried to put it inside my cunt, and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to be fucked!
"Then the people came to see me. Their names were Calvin-Eve and Charles. Eve told me later that they had both decided on me because I looked so much like she did-the same color eyes, hair, and skin shade, and even my mouth was a lot like hers.
"It took about three weeks before they could come and get me. I guess I was glad when ,they did. I knew I was going to miss Lucy and some of the others I had become pretty friendly with, but the headman took me into his office and told me that the Calvin's were fine people. He said I'd have a real home, and that I should be polite and helpful. He said they would check on me every few weeks for the first year, and that if I had any problems I should tell the visiting welfare worker about them.
"It was strange to have a room to myself, and the house seemed so quiet, especially at mealtime and bedtime. The girls had always had a lot of fun those times, and the Calvin's were quiet people anyhow. He was a carpenter, and Eve had always wanted a baby, but could never have one. They were already too old, and the caseworker told them in front of me that they were fortunate to have gotten me because, usually, they liked to place kids in a home with younger parents, and with kids of their own. I guess it was less lonely for an adopted kid of other young ones were around.
"I wasn't lonely. The first couple of weeks were exciting because there were so many new and interesting things to do. I entered public school. I bought a lot of new clothes. I had a small portable radio in my own bedroom, and life looked pretty good to me. I was twelve, and I remembered how many of the girls at the home were seventeen and even eighteen, and nobody had ever adopted them.
"But then I began to miss Lucy-and Harold. I began to masturbate a lot, but it wasn't the same. I knew that I wanted to have somebody play with me, suck my pussy, make me feel hot and good all over, and I was too shy to make friends at school, especially with any boy. And I knew somehow that I wanted a man to do those things for me-not a boy, nor a girl or woman. I wanted to feel a man's prick inside me! I wanted to be fucked, because that's how grown-ups did it, and I was beginning to feel like a grown-up. I started to menstruate, and, after that began, I seemed to get hot for some sex more often.
"Charles Calvin was about fifty, and he had gray hair, but a young face. He was always smiling and happy, and he talked softly and made a lot of jokes. He made me feel at home all the time. Eve was all right, but-well, she treated me as if I were a tiny child. Charles talked to me as if I were an adult. I began to feel close to him, and I guess he felt the same way because we always kissed when he went to work and when he came home, and, if Eve wasn't watching, he would put his hand on my breast or my fanny. This used to get me worked up, and one time, when he had his hand on my ass, I stuck my tongue deep into his mouth! I felt him jump and start to pull away, but he couldn't help himself, so he hugged me real tight with both arms and we sucked tongues for a couple of minutes.
"After that, I used to masturbate, and I'd dream of how it was going to be when I got Charles to fuck me and suck my cunt! I began to work hard at it, and I decided that when Eve went to Alabama for her family reunion, I would make it work. I had to! I couldn't go on masturbating all my life. I was getting wild to feel Charles's prick in my mouth and up my cunt!
"Charles was a boss carpenter, was working on a big housing-development project, and couldn't go to the reunion with Eve. Also, I was in school, and they didn't want me to miss any time.
"I think that Charles and I knew all along that we were going to fuck each other when she was gone, because the last few days before she left, our kisses got sloppier and hotter, and Charles used to rub my breast and my cunt through my clothes, and we were both building a big fire that had to be fed pretty soon. We couldn't even wait a day. Eve left on a Saturday morning, and when we were driving home from the airport Charles kept putting his arm around me and squeezing my breast. Once in a while I would reach over and rub his cock. It was bulging something fierce under his pants, and when I would rub it I could feel it jump. I could hardly wait to get it in my mouth, and then feel it inside my pussy-hard and deep and hot!"
That was Cora M. speaking. Her words have been taken verbatim from taped sessions with psychiatrists who are connected with the institution where she resides. Cora is a typical example of many unfortunate children who are placed for adoption following the death of the parents.
Probably few outside of the network of institutions realize that the so-called "sex revolution" that is sweeping the country today, especially among the young, has always been an integral part of orphanages, mental institutions and prisons, as well as reform schools.
Sex has always been the bartering media of females, and it is a rare woman who has been confined in an institution for any length of time who has not been approached or has not taken part in lesbian activities.
Most states, insofar as possible, try to staff female institutions with all-female staffs to obviate the chance or rape or seduction taking place. This does not, however, eliminate the lesbian activities, no matter how carefully staff members are screened. Often, the girls them-selves initiate the action.
For many decades it was believed that in our society there were hordes of "dirty old men" who could only find sexual gratification in the molestation or seduction of little girls. There had never been any argument that young children, male and female, should be protected from the depravations of such sex weirdo's. Severe punishment has been meted out to aging sex offenders of this ilk, and rightfully so. However, little, if any, investigation into the part that the young girl has played in such instances has ever been undertaken. It was simply a matter of "I accuse!" and, automatically, the guilt was laid at the door of the older person. This was primarily a hangover from the legal acceptance (or non-acceptance) of the child as an "infant." In the eyes of the law, even if the young girl is a proven slut, she is not responsible for her actions, presumably because she has not the intelligence required to make decisions of any sort.
In the past two decades, however, the legal profession, and society as a whole, has taken a closer look at these young sexpots, and has been shocked awake at the avarice and the vicious-ness of the aggressive young "Lolita's."
Much psychiatric investigation has gone into determining the motivations behind the acts of the "dirty old men," but it is only recently that psychiatry and medicine, as well as sociology and behavioral researchers, have turned their searchlights on the motivations and the patterns of conduct that now strongly pervade the very young of America.
There are no easy answers simply because there is no "normal" behavior for sub teenagers. Each young girl who engages in sex for profit, for kicks, or because she cannot help her inner compulsions, is entirely different. Yet, slowly, a thread of sameness is traceable through the many case histories that have been compiled.
A few years ago, America was shocked by the book, stage play, and movie, The Bad Seed, in which a young girl proved to be a vicious killer and a very adept liar and convincing actress who bilked adults of all ages.
However, if we were honest with ourselves, we need only to have looked at the attitudes and actions of our own children-or of ourselves as children, for that matter.
Most children are cruel, selfish, demanding, adept liars, and they are also very much aware of sex. Kinsey and other researchers have divulged the fact that, without doubt, almost every child masturbates at an early age. Medical men and psychiatrists have now laid to rest the "grandmother's tales" that masturbation is harmful to the emotions, the body or the psyche of an individual, so long as it does not eventually take the place of normal sex outlets.
We must not point an accusing finger at the perverted acts of older persons alone, when we reveal thousands of subteen and early teenage pregnancies. It is also obvious that there is no fabled Pied Piper of sex or of drugs who leads our children into these activities. Rather, the urge (which has been present since birth) has been allowed to run rampant by our society, with the majority of the blame belonging to the parents who have fostered the deterioration of the home.
A little known or studied fact of this subteen sex revolution is this: gradually, as we have become an urban nation and moved away from the isolation of close family and small community influence, the incidence of incest has shrunk noticeably. This simply means that not only the parents are now afforded a wider circle of sex objects and outlets, but that the children are taking their place in a permissive society at a much earlier age, and their targets may range from seven-year-olds, who once experimented almost innocently in sex games, to sex objects who are in their sixties.
That a young, nubile, virginal girl is attractive to older men is a fact that has been established throughout the history of man. There are no simple answers to this factual problem, nor do we pretend to offer solutions. We can only report, and judge as best we can, from the actual words of the participants, what inner forces drive them to perform sex acts at an age at which we naively believe they should be playing with dolls or jacks. That much of their sex behavior is patterned after that of their parents is undeniable, yet, a great deal of the sex drive in each of us is there from birth, dormant and potent, awaiting only the triggering of a visual contact with sex, or an actual encounter with another person who arouses sex desires in us.
We do know, through psychiatric revelations, that most young boys have a "mother fixation," while young girls have a "father fixation." This means that seduction by older women and men is relatively easy, because the child attaches this image to most all older persons of the opposite sex, and this fixation engenders "trust." The young girl, for instance, feels that she can trust the older man to lead her into pleasures that will not be harmful to her.
That our youngsters' blunt approach to and participation in sexual activities is new, is a fallacy-a "burying of our heads in the sand." Human nature has always been as it is today. The difference is in our open, frank-even defiant-approach to sex, at all ages: Once, such instances as we are discussing, that took place between young girls and older men, were hushed up because of a fear of shameful scandal that would attach itself to the girl. Incest is hard to trace in our past history, for the reason that few families, no matter how shocked or offended they might be, cared to air the fact that there had been incestuous relations between members of the close family. However, we can see this pattern clearly in the lives of prominent rulers throughout history, because they were in the spotlight and it was almost impossible to cover their true sexual activities.
Today, we are entering into an age where we hardly have to dig to find the facts. In almost open defiance and a strange sort of "pride," our young people engage in overt acts of sexual encounter. It is as if they were daring us to call them "wrong," for they can easily point a finger tarred with the same filth at members of their own family and of the community.
The youngsters feel that they are completely justified in following the dictates of their sexual appetites and in "falling in line" with all the friends they know. It is widespread, this promiscuity among pre-teenagers. It has always been, but it has been hidden in haymows, behind barns, in secluded woodland glades, and in musty attics, for many generations.
Today's styles of clothing and makeup for youngsters make millions of dollars yearly by recognition of the fact that these junior misses inwardly want to show their bodies in as feminine and alluring a manner as is possible. They use makeup in an effort to appear more womanly, and thus lure older males into sex acts that women indulge in. The bra manufacturers manufacture brassieres (padded) that will make a 28-inch bust look like a nicely rounded size 34! The miniskirts show off the thighs and the crotch in many instances, and in spite of the hypocritical yells of many older persons such styles can only come into popularity because the majority of the people-male and female-want them!
To return to Cora, and her unfortunate sisters: such children are removed from the "swim" and they are overly aware of the loss they are suffering. Most institutions such as Cora was in insist on a uniform style of dress (in her case, navy blue skirt, white cotton panties, white blouse, and blue knee-length socks). Yet, magazines reveal how outdated such girls are; movies play up the wide difference; contact with the "outside world" makes it even more obvious that girls in "homes" are inferior, merely because they are not allowed the female adornments and beauty aids that are available to their more fortunate sisters.
In addition, we must consider the human factor of forbiddance and denial. It has been a truism throughout history that what is forbidden or withheld from man becomes more enticing and more worthwhile fighting for. In institutions, for the most part, the very existence of sex is denied, is so covered by hogwash that it is only natural that young minds should question and should seek to find the sex answers for themselves. The natural impulses cannot be denied or smothered or covered with institutional rules or garb. The sexual curiosity, the desire, the wonder and the longing, are still a dominant force in the young girls' lives. They become aware that their bodies are changing into women's. They are equally aware of the attention they now draw from males of all ages. The chemistry of sex begins to work, and desire to experiment is prominently seen in all pre-teenagers.
In Cora's case, the girl had access to male sexual attention, otherwise, had she been subjected to years of lesbian sex, her story might be entirely different.
Cora is a product of this age. Sex is not just a vague word that denotes physical encounter between male and female. It is a way of life! Sex is a big business, and it appeals to each of us, young or old, in one form or another. As the able commentator, Norman Vincent Peale pointed out in an article in a large woman's weekly magazine, "It is not just sex they are selling; sex is used constantly to stimulate the sale of ordinary consumer goods. If Madison Avenue wants to sell a new hair tonic for men, they no longer use the pitch that it will keep your hair well-groomed and healthy. The pitch now is that it will drive women mad with desire for the man who uses their product.
"If a cosmetic company wants to promote a new perfume, it hammers away at the fact that the odor will draw men like honey draws flies!"
Little wonder then, that our young ladies form a huge segment of the buying market, for they are at the stage where their bodies are developing (yet are still awkward and, most of all, untried in the game of allure), and a whole new world is opening to them. For the first time boys treat them with deference. For the first time they are the hunted instead of the huntresses. They feel that they need every appurtenance they can buy or cultivate to assist them in attracting the attention and love and sexual encounters that they long for with every fiber of their being.
Books, television, films-all are laden with titillating sex. It is inescapable, and it has telling influence on young minds. Parents are close loved ones, such as aunts or older sister engage in overt sex acts (or ones that are thinly concealed), and engage in frank discussions of sex, drugs, infidelity, homosexualism and lesbianism-all subjects that were taboo for centuries.
The new dances are highly conducive to sexual excitement in the youngsters. In gyrating to such as the Frug, Swim, Crawl, etc., the young female is emphasizing the eroticism of some parts of her body as she thrusts her pelvic area forward, thrusts her breasts outward, shakes her bosom and her behind-in short, she is performing an erotic dance such as women have done for centuries to arouse a male. And she does arouse a male, in almost every instance. She is presenting her body as a "treat" to be had for the asking, and she is not about to back off when there are takers of her offer.
Of course, this indulgence in sexual activities and full participation is dynamite, for, although the girl is physically able to cope with the situation, she is nowhere near being an emotionally stable adult woman, and here is where the seeds of trouble flourish.
The early patterns remain, for the most part, even though some adjustment may be later made, and when a young girl such as Cora becomes involved with a mature man in her first sex encounters, she is certain to desire an older partner for the remainder of her youth-often, far into her womanhood.
Thus, we see a little girl who is finally adopted by a fine couple, but who has within her the seeds of disaster because of her sex appetites. We shall let Cora continue her account of her seduction of her foster father.
"By the time Charles and I got home from the airport, we were both trembling with excitement. His prick was a big bulge in his pants, and I could feel my pussy almost dripping wetness with wanting to kiss and fuck Charles. We hadn't said much on the way home, but we knew what the other one was thinking, all right. My nipples were hard and erect, and I was sweating all over, I wanted it so bad.
"We stopped in the garage after we got out of the car, almost as if to make sure that we were going to go all the way this time. We kissed deep, tongue-chasing kisses, and I felt his cock through his pants, and Charles put his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy lips. I got so worked up that I unzipped his pants, took out his throbbing, hard prick and teased the head of it with my tongue. He was getting too shaky to wait any longer, so he picked me up and carried me in the house. His hand was on my ass cheeks and he kept kissing me until he put me down on my bed.
"He began to undress me, and each time he'd take off a piece of clothing he would kiss my bare flesh. When he finally took off my panties, my pussy was wet and hot, and he licked it good while I helped him get his clothes off. When he was stark naked, and I was too, he just lay beside me and looked at my body. I was so eager for him to touch me and kiss me and then fuck me that I was squirming and rubbing my legs together to stimulate my pussy. I just wanted to do everything I could think of-suck his cock, his nipples, lick his asshole, play with his ball-everything that would excite him.
"I couldn't wait, so I slid down and began to kiss and suck the nipples of his chest. At the same time I was running my hands up and down his stiff prick and massaging his balls. I could tell by the way he was jumping around and moaning that he was getting all worked up. I could feel his prick throbbing when I touched it with my tongue, and I was really ready. It was so different with Charles, because I really loved him. He had been so good to me in the weeks that I had lived with him that I felt almost as I would if he had been my real father.
"I was glad, in a way, that he wasn't really my father, because I might have felt that it was all wrong $o be having sex with him, but since he wasn't, and we both loved and wanted each other, it seemed all right.
"Not that either of us was thinking about that once we were naked, but I've thought about it a lot since then and I don't know if I could have been that way with my real father-or if he would have wanted to, for that matter.
"Charles tried to push me away a couple of time and I knew it was because he was starting to come in my mouth. He didn't know that I liked it and was having almost as much of a thrill out of it as he was.
"When he did shoot into my mouth, it was a big load and I had to swallow fast to keep from choking. I didn't want him to lose his hard, so I kept on sucking his cock. I watched his face as he propped himself up and looked at his cock going in and out of my mouth. He was anxious to get to me, but, at the same time, he was too carried away with what I was doing. He looked a little embarrassed, too, and I stopped for a second and told him, 'Don't worry, Charles-I like to do it.'
"But he only let me suck him until he was partly hard again. Then he pushed me away and moved my body so that I was upside down, on top of him, with his cock real close to my face. He spread my legs and moved me so that his face was close to my cunt, and he began to play with it with his fingers and his mouth, while I went on sucking him off.
"I had done this before, but not with someone like Charles. All he was interested in was making me come better than I ever had, even though he didn't know that I had come many times. I guess he sensed it from the way I acted. I knew what to do by then, and I teased his cock with my tongue and lips, nibbling at it a little, sucking it, licking it up and down the shaft, and then taking it deep into my mouth with deep, sucking strokes.
"I was feeling different, too. Charles was really making every effort to touch every part of my pussy with his fingers and with his tongue. He was also using his finger on my asshole, and it was a wonderful feeling. I felt that my whole body was being loved, because I felt that good feeling spread all over my body-not just the lower part.
"Charles came in my mouth, and I just kept on sucking his prick. He went soft for a while, but I brought it back up again. When I came, it was so good that I almost thought I would faint from the fire that spread through me. I just had to change positions so that I was face to face with him, so he could put his arms around me and kiss me. Nobody ever kissed me like Charles. He used his lips and tongue on my ears, neck, eyes, and throat, then moved them to my breasts and my stomach. By the time he had finished kissing me, I was so hot to have his cock inside me that I knew it wouldn't hurt, My cunt felt as big as a circus tent, and it ached for his prick. I could feel it pressing against my stomach and in between my thighs as he kissed me, and when I couldn't stand it any longer, I had to ask-almost beg, 'Please fuck me--please put it all in me and fuck me.'
"There was no awkwardness between us now, and he pressed his lips against mine and I sucked his tongue. We stayed that way while he positioned himself between my legs and took his prick in one hand. He used the other hand to spread the lips of my pussy. I was all wet and even his fingers on my cunt lips sent shivers up my body. When I felt the head of it go inside me, I threw my arms around his neck and spread my legs wide. I lifted my fanny up and tried to wrap my legs around his body, but I couldn't quite make it. He raised up and grabbed my ass cheeks and pulled me close. I was spread wide open and I raised my head just a little so I could see his wonderful cock going into my cunt -the first man that had ever had it in me!
"I guess I could have almost come at any time I had wanted to, but I wanted to wait for him. I wanted Charles and myself to have that big moment together-the moment I lost my cherry!
"He made slow strokes at first, so he wouldn't hurt me, and each one rubbed his cock against my knob, then I could feel it touch the inside walls-deep and exciting. It was a new and wonderful feeling to know that I had a grown man's prick all the way inside me, and that I was pleasing him, thrilling him like any woman was able to. I felt big-I don't mean grown up-I mean-important. I felt I was a real person-a woman-a lover!
"As it began to slip in and out easily, Charles increased the speed of his lunges, and I reared my ass to meet his thrusts. He had been supporting himself on his outstretched arms, like he liked to look down and see his cock going into my pussy, too. But at the last, when we were both coming, he let his weight down on me so he could kiss my mouth and eyes. He was shaking and sweating and mumbling love things to me. Then I felt that wonderful feeling begin. It started with my knob, and it spread all the way over my body like a big hot wave. At the same instant I felt the first spurt of Charles's jism inside my cunt. It added to my thrill, and for the next few seconds neither of us had to make any effort to keep the motion going. Our bodies took over. We couldn't have stopped if we had tried, and when the last little shiver had my pussy, and Charles lay still, kissing my mouth, his cock slowly going soft inside me, I felt that I must be in heaven. Nothing on earth could be that good again-unless it was Charles again.
"We finished by sucking each other off again, in the sixty-nine position, and then we took a shower together, playing with each other, laughing, having a lot of fun.
"Eve was gone four days, and during that time, we must have screwed and sucked at least twenty-five times. I got a big kick one night when we were in the middle of sucking each other and the phone rang. It was Eve, and while Charles talked to her, telling her that everything was fine (we were in his bedroom, and there was an extension there), I kept on sucking his prick! The look on his face when he was talking made me want to laugh. He didn't want me to stop, but he couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. Just as he was about to hang up, I made him come, and when he said good-bye to his wife, he was panting and sweating, bucking up and down on the mattress while I sucked him dry of his juices.
"When Eve did get home, we had to be extra careful. We didn't get to do it half as much as we wanted to, but Eve trusted us. She thought it was wonderful that Charles and I had become such 'good friends,' as she called it. She never suspected a thing. We went along like that for months-and then it all ended up on the junk-heap! I got pregnant!
"I found that I was still just a little girl when it happened. All I could do was cry and curse myself. I never blamed Charles, because he had wanted me to start on some birth-control pills he said he could get for me, or he suggested we use a safety when we fucked. I was too selfish. I wanted to feel him-all of his warm, thrilling cock, without any silly rubber covering it up and spoiling it.
"I told Charles first, and he wanted to get me an abortion, but he couldn't make the contacts. When I was almost five weeks overdue on my period, I thought of an idea and he agreed to try it. This one boy at school, who was also a neighbor of ours, was always hanging around the house and asking me to go to the movies with him. So, I finally said yes. Charles took care of the objections that Eve always had-she said I was far too young to be going with boys-and we went out. I knew what I had to do, and it wasn't watch a movie.
"On the way, I snuggled up close to Bill-he was seventeen-and began to fool around. I ran my hands up and down his leg and played with his hair. I even stuck my tongue into his ear, and he began to get hot. I had a miniskirt on, and I made sure that he got a good look at my pussy, because I wasn't wearing any panties. I could see him getting nervous, and after a while he put one hand on my thigh and began to move it up toward my cunt. I leaned over and kissed him on the ear-he had a hard time driving right -and said, 'Let's not go to the movies. Let's go somewhere and neck.'
"Bill looked over at me in a funny way, as if he thought I was bold or was putting him on, but he turned off and headed for a real lonely road up in the mountains. His father had a fishing shack there, and we went to it. He lit lanterns and had a beer. He was afraid to start right away, I guess, because he seemed nervous. I sat close to him, and pretty soon he put his arm around me and began to feel my breast. I wasn't really hot for him but I knew what I had to do. I began to run my fingers over his cock and it began to bulge out his pants real good.
"I didn't know it then, but he was a cherry. He'd never screwed a girl, but he had let one whore suck him off when a bunch of young kids went to Flo's Place. That was a whorehouse in the rough part of town, and everybody knew what it was.
"When his cock was real hard and he began to pinch my nipple, I just kissed him, sticking my tongue into his mouth and telling him that I was 'hot.' I unzipped his pants, and he slid them off; then I lay down on the cot and he got on top of me. He was clumsy, but he finally got it inside my pussy and began to pump. I helped him all I could, and I felt him come in about two minutes. I pretended that I hadn't come (though I had) and told him to keep going. He went soft, so I played with it a little until he was hard again, and then he fucked me the second time and came again.
"Afterwards, I pretended I was crying. I told him I was afraid, because he hadn't used anything, and I didn't want a baby. He was nervous, too, but he kept saying not to worry, that it would be okay. He kissed me real nice when we got home, and I could hardly wait to tell Charles that my plan had worked.
"I waited three more weeks and then went to our family doctor. He knew right away that I was pregnant, and I put on a good act about not wanting to tell who the father was, because I loved him and didn't want him to be hurt.
"Eve was even more upset than we figured she would be. She stormed over to Bill's people, making Charles go along, and told them it had to be his baby because he was the only boy I had ever dated. Bill's mother was nasty. She said I could have screwed a dozen other guys, and she wouldn't hear of us getting married. Bill had to finish high school and college, and nothing was going to stop him. Her idea was to pay for the baby, then have me put it out for adoption. Finally, Eve and Charles agreed to that.
"But it didn't work out that way. Bill wasn't the soft baby that his mother thought. When I was about five months pregnant, he came over one night and told Eve and Charles that he wanted to do the right thing and marry me. It threw me for a loss. I didn't want his life messed up, when it wasn't his fault. When Charles asked me if that was what I wanted to do, I broke out into curses, saying I wouldn't marry him or have him as the father of my child if he were the only boy in the world.
"Bill pleaded, but I ran to my room, and Eve and Charles told him that that was my choice, and it was too important for them to try to interfere. Bill left, finally, and it wasn't until a week later that we learned that he had left home. He went to San Francisco. He joined in with a bunch of real weird hippies, and we heard that he had been twice arrested for fighting with the police over something or other. His father flew up and tried to talk Bill into coming back, but he wouldn't.
"I was ashamed of myself, and when Charles tried to have sex with me, I couldn't. I liked Bill, and I hated to think that I had made a bum out of him-that's what his mother and father called him, a bum.
"I got a hundred dollars from Charles, and I headed for San Francisco. I didn't know it would take me weeks to find Bill, and I was flat broke a long time before I did. I finally lived with some hippies in a condemned tenement in the Haight-Ashbury area, but when I was due to have the baby I had to go to the charity people. They got me into a hospital and notified my mother. I had found Bill, but he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He hated me and blamed me for what he had done to his life, and he was right.
"I got so despondent that I tried to kill myself. Instead, I killed the baby-a little girl that was born dead.
"Eve and Charles cam? up and told me to come on back home, but I couldn't. Instead, when I got out of the hospital, I went to live with an old news-vendor who had a stand near where I had been living. He was nice and used to give me a dollar now and then for eats. I just told him I had no place to stay and he told me I could stay with him.
"He drank a lot, and the first thing I knew I was a lush. I used to drink gin, and I'd knock myself out almost every day. When Joe kicked me out, I just went walking the streets, trying to get men to pay me for sleeping with them. I was arrested twice, but I didn't give my right name. The third time I was pinched for prostitution, the judge sentenced me to a girl's reformatory until I was twenty-one, and he ordered psychiatric treatment for me.
"I'm sixteen, a whore and a drunk-and maybe even a psycho. I suppose I could blame it on the fact that I never had a real start in life, with a home and parents, like most kids, but I saw enough when I was living the hippie way, Almost all of them came from good homes-I even met some of their parents, so that alibi is a lot of horseshit.
"I don't know what I'll be when I'm out. The docs say I'm coming along good, because at least I don't whine or try to blame it ail on other people.
"I hear from Charles once in a while. Eve never writes or visits. Maybe I'll go back with Charles, but that's a long way off, and he may not want me then.
"I hate this place because of the lesbians and the whining broads who blame everybody else for what was their own fault. It was their body-their cunt-wasn't it? And unless it was rape, which I don't think can really happen, then they're in the same boat as me.
"I managed a little sex with a couple of workmen around this joint, but not much, and I can't go the lesbian route. Maybe the docs here can fix me up and straighten me out. I'm trying. Maybe I can make it-who knows?"
Despite Cora's pessimistic attitude, the doctors' prognosis for her is excellent. They point out that she does not feel sorry for herself and that she is cooperating to the fullest extent with them. They feel that when she is released, she will still be a very young woman, and she will be able to take her place among the world of those her own age and will ultimately meet and fall in love with a young man her own age.
Seldom does the "father fixation" that Cora suffers from last through the late teens. The authorities feel that if she had the strength (and she had exhibited it so far) to resist lesbian approaches, Cora will benefit from her psychiatric treatment and emerge as a capable young woman who will quickly be assimilated into the normal, productive, healthy society.