Chapter 1
"BOOT CAMP" FOR A SEXPOT
"I knew when I saw the way his prick was beginning to stand out straight and give funny little jerks that he would do just about anything I asked him to. He was so embarrassed, standing there naked, that I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. I didn't want to spoil my chances with him, because he could do me a lot of damage-or a lot of good.
"The look on his face was strange. I didn't know if he was going to laugh or cry. He just stared hard at my cunt and my little boobies, almost as if he didn't believe that I was that grown up. Almost as if he were really seeing me for the first time, even though I had been around him all my life.
"I wondered if he was ever going to get down to doing it to me, and I ran my hands over my breasts and my stomach. His eyes seemed glazed. He walked over to the bed and put his hand on my breast almost as if he thought it was some sort of a 'falsie.'
"It felt good when he touched the nipple; then he began to massage my whole breast. I watched his cock getting bigger and bigger, and I could see the little beads of sweat on his upper lip and on his forehead. He was really hooked.
"I smiled up at him and said, 'Come on, Daddy, don't be scared.' It was like he was the child and I was the grown-up one. He sat down on the bed and put his hand on my thigh. I tingled to the touch, and he finally let his eyes rove down to my little love mound. The soft hair was just beginning to show around the lips of my pussy, and I spread my legs wide apart. He licked his lips as he looked into the, wet, red opening and, almost as if he were a robot or a sleepwalker, he bent over slowly and put his lips to the lips of my pussy. He gave a couple of soft, sucking kisses that began to turn me on real good, and then he crawled down between my legs and spread the mouth of my cunt open with his hands.
"I felt his tongue start to tickle my little lump, and after a few seconds he began to dig his tongue in deeper. Every once in a while he would nibble at my clit. I could feel his one hand sneaking up under my ass, and in another moment he was shoving one of his fingers up my asshole. It made me all the hotter. I began to push my ass up to meet his tongue and moved a little so I could lock my legs behind his neck.
"He began to work his tongue faster, and his finger kept pushing in and out of my asshole until there wasn't a spot on my body that wasn't screaming to be fucked-or come, in some way.
"Daddy kept mumbling, but his mouth was so filled with my cunt flesh that I couldn't make out what he was saying. All I cared about was that I felt like I was floating on a beautiful lake of warm water, and it began to grow hotter and hotter, finally boiling up over my whole lower body-especially in my pussy, when I came.
"When he felt my little knob bobbing up and down while I came, Daddy went wild. He began to really bite the flesh of my pussy lips, and made slurping noises as he tried to get the whole slit in his mouth. With one hand he began to jerk off, and his prick came up good and hard-like Paul's.
"When it was hard and long, Daddy crawled up on my body and began to nibble at my breasts. First he would suck and bite one nipple; then he would suck in with his mouth wide open, as if he wanted to inhale the whole thing. But it felt good and got me all hot again, so that when he finally crawled up on top of me and began to push his prick into my cunt it went in easy. It was a surprise to him, I suppose, because he didn't know that I'd had other pricks inside me that were as big and round and hard as his. But he was different. I felt a lot different about him because I wanted him to really come. I didn't even care if I did or not, just so Daddy really had a good 'pop.'
"You could tell that it had been a long time since he'd had any fucking, by the eager nervous way he used his hands. When his prick was deep inside me, and he knew that he wasn't hurting me, he began to kiss my mouth. I opened my lips and teeth wide and inhaled his tongue, and I could feel him shudder and gasp when I locked my legs around his hips and really began to return his pushes.
"I kept saying, through the kissing, 'Fuck me good, Daddy. Fuck me and never stop. Fuck me-fuck me!'
"When he shot his wad into my cunt, I knew it had been real good for him, because he just let go every muscle in his body. It seemed as if every part of him was shaking. He was sweating a lot, and when I began to come, and bucked and reared under him, he started to cry a little.
"He stopped sucking my tongue, just lay there with his prick still inside me, and sobbed. He said, 'Baby ... baby ... who made you like this? Oh, God ... who made you like that?'
"I didn't tell him then, but he sure knew ail about it later."
The account of her incestuous debut with her true father comes from Lisa Colvin (not her real name). For purposes of research for this incident, it is perhaps wise that we begin with the plaintive phrase that came from her father's lips as he realized that his twelve-year-old daughter was an alluring, voracious sexpot. With him, we ask: "Who made you like that, Lisa?"
Her story may be typical, yet it is difficult to believe that there is a definite pattern that is followed by each young girl-child, really-who becomes what we see Lisa to be at the pre-teen period of her life: a wanton seductress who invited and encouraged sex relations with her brother, her stepfather, and her real father.
According to most sexologists, and many psychiatrists, the American female is at her sexually aggressive peak between the years of twelve to fifteen. Almost all the young girls who wind up in the hands of the juvenile authorities or psychiatrists, or both, reveal a history of sexual wantonness between these years. In this respect, Lisa may be typical. In another area, she may be a special case to study: the field that sociologists are most interested in. This covers research into the results of divorce and the broken home." That it has a definite bearing on the sexual behavior of all persons involved seems indisputable, but far too little research has been done in the motivations that are given to the very young children who are the true victims of many such divorces.
Lisa is a good example, even though we tend to believe that such sexual depravity is the product of want and poverty. There is a definite sign of want and of poverty in Lisa's case; but it is a poverty of the spirit and soul, and a want of attention and love and recognition as an individual-and as a normal, love-hungry child.
We shall let Lisa continue her account, which was taken from the records of a noted West Coast psychologist who worked with her for the three years of her confinement to a home for unrehabilitable delinquents. We have kept the essentials intact, in her own words. We have only edited out many redundancies. This, then, is the story of Lisa.
"I didn't know then, of course, where it all began for me. I'm not sure I really understand it all now, but I'll tell you the way I felt, as it went along.
"I never did get much attention around the house. My father was too busy working most of the time, and what other time he had he spent with Doug, my brother. Doug was good in sports, especially in baseball and football, and my daddy spent a lot of time coaching a Little League baseball team that Doug pitched for, and a Pop Warner little league football team.
"I guess Daddy really did like Doug more than he did me-anyhow, I felt that way. I tried to turn to my mother, but that was a lost cause before I was born, I think. I can remember even as a small child hearing my mother and father screaming at each other, and it was always the same old story: he'd scream that she was a slut and a no-good whore, and she'd always yell back that if he was half a man in bed, she wouldn't have to fuck around with other guys.
"Our house was like a time bomb-nobody ever knew when it would explode in our faces. I suppose that because of this, in a way, I became a lot closer to Doug. He was a good kid-he's three years older than me-and he always seemed to me to be the strongest one in the whole family. I know that when a teardown fight would start, he would wink at me and we'd just sneak out. Mostly, we would walk, but sometimes we would go and sit behind the garage in his 'shack.' It was made of wood, and it was pretty big, and his friends often used to come there and have Cokes and just 'shoot the shit,' as Doug called it.
"I got so I felt that it was the only good place in the world-especially when Doug and I were there alone.
"When my mother began to really swing-I mean, to bring her boyfriends right to the house while my daddy was working-both Doug and I knew all about it. We even watched her being fucked and sucked a lot of times. Then we would talk about it when we were alone. I was ten when Doug and I first tried any kind of sex. I couldn't understand why I got so ticklish between my legs when I would sneak up and watch my mother sucking a guy off or having him suck her pussy, then shoving his prick up inside it.
"Doug wasn't much smarter than I was, but I noticed that his pants used to bulge out when we'd watch-and, sometimes, when we would talk about it. He used to go into the bathroom sometimes, and I know now that he played with himself, but I didn't know it then. I walked in on him one day, and he had his cock in his hand and it was stiff and red and he was jerking it something awful.
"I surprised him, got scared at the way he looked at me, and ran. I went out to our hideout and thought about what I'd seen, and it made me get that funny feeling in my pussy. I put my fingers inside my panties and began to rub the lips of it and it felt good, so I shoved my finger up inside it, touched my knob. That really felt good, so I went ahead and shoved my finger in and out and, after a while, I got a good feeling all over.
"I was almost eleven then, and my breasts were just beginning to swell and the nipples started to stand up.
"I was just finishing masturbating when Doug came into the shack. He stopped when he saw what I was doing and grinned at me. 'Feels good, huh?' he asked, and I knew he wasn't mad at me for catching him playing with his cock. I blushed, but I nodded. I always felt better when Doug and I could talk, and now that we both knew a secret about the other one, : me feel even closer to my brother.
"I asked him if he did it often, and he said that he did, almost every night-sometimes oftener. I told him I hadn't ever really tried it before-not really having my finger inside my cunt-and he laughed and unzipped his pants. 'I got a hard on yet, Lisa,' he said, pulling out his prick so I could see all of it.
"I wanted to touch it and play with it, because it made me feel squirmy, too, like when I watched my mother and those men.
"I asked Doug, 'Would you like to try some of the things we saw them do?'
"He was playing with his cock and had a funny, sleepy look in his eyes. All of a sudden he let go of his prick and it bobbed in the air like a jack-in-the-box. I giggled and reached out and took it in my hand, skinning back the loose skin on the head of it so I could see the red, wet head of his cock.
"Doug said, 'Go ahead, Lisa-it won't bite you.' He laughed, and I played with his prick harder. I wanted to take it in my mouth, and I wanted Doug to ask me if he could play with my thing, and maybe kiss it, or put his cock up inside it. It was like he knew what I wanted, because he reached over and slid my panties off. He spread my legs and used his fingers to spread the lips of my cunt. All the while, I was getting hotter and hotter, and his cock got harder. Finally, we just seemed to change our position automatically, so that we were lying facing each other, but upside down, so his cock was close to my mouth and my pussy was close to his face.
"I took the head of it in my mouth, and Doug jumped a foot. When I began to suck on it and put it in deeper, he spread my legs wide, one of them up in the air, and began to run his tongue along the lips of my cunt. Pretty soon, Doug started to stick his tongue into my pussy-he touched the knob and made me jump for joy at the hot thrills that shot up through my body.
"We both began to suck hard, and in a couple of minutes I felt Doug's cock jumping and throbbing, and then I felt something hot and sticky-like shoot into my mouth from his cock. It surprised me, but it didn't taste bad, so I just kept on sucking. All of a sudden, I felt like I was being tickled to death-it started inside my cunt and went through my whole body. I was having an orgasm, but, of course, I didn't know what that meant then. I did know that it felt awful good and that I really loved Doug more than anyone in the whole world.
"We stuck to that for quite a while, then one night when Daddy was working and my mother was out somewhere we began to fool around, playing with each other, then kissing and sucking, and Doug stopped me and asked me if I wanted to try ' ... you know.' Neither of us had ever said the word, but I knew what he meant. I got a real bang out of saying it. I said, 'You mean fuck?'
"Doug nodded, and I just giggled and lay down on my bed with my legs spread wide. I remember wondering if he really knew how to fuck. He didn't, really, but he had watched guys fucking my mother, and he just did like they did. He crawled on top of me and took his cock in one hand and used the other to spread the lips of my pussy. I was all hot and wet, and when I felt his little cock going inside me, rubbing my knob, I really went wild.
"He began to move faster, and I used the muscles in my cunt and my ass to meet, his pushes so that I could feel his cock rubbing my clit as it went in and then out. At the end, we both just began to kiss each other on the mouth, and I stuck my tongue in Doug's mouth and he sucked on it. When I felt his hot juice spurt into me, I came, and it was way better than any other time I ever had-lots better than when he sucked my cunt.
"We just lay there that way for a long time, and I stroked Doug's hair and he played with my breasts. It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever had in my life-just feeling the love flow from one body to another.
"We didn't talk about it-not then; but later, we often used to talk about how we felt and whether it was wrong. I think we both sensed that it was, but we asked each other if anything that good could be bad. Maybe we just wanted to kid ourselves, but we finally decided that we loved each other and that we would do it as often as we could.
"It was just about that time that my mother got a divorce. She wanted to marry this one guy she saw a lot of, and I guess my father was glad to get rid of her, because he never had any sex with her. I found out later that it was because he was so beat, thinking about all the guys she was fucking, that he had some problem where he couldn't get a hard on. But I didn't know that then, and I went into a panic, I guess. I fought her, I cursed her, and I screamed at her. I wouldn't do anything she told me to, and finally she threatened to put me in a boarding school if I didn't stop my actions.
"Doug was the one that reined me in. He pointed out that he would be there, and we could make it somehow until we were old enough to run away. I was eleven and he had just had his fourteenth birthday. My mother got custody of Doug and me, and my father was supposed to have us with him two weekends a month, and for a month during summer vacation, if he wanted to. I know now that it was Doug that suffered most, because he did love my father. They had always been able to do things together, and it was awful lonely for Doug when we went to live with Paul and my mother. I was already used to being by myself, without any attention or love from either my mother or father, but it was harder for Doug. He hated Paul, and so did I, but Paul paid a lot of attention to me and only snarled or cursed at Doug.
"Paul owned a garage, and I guess he made a lot of money because we did have a nice home-Doug and I had our own room-and, after a while, we learned to keep out of Paul's way and get along just by clinging to each other. Meantime, we had sex about three or four nights a week, either masturbating each other, kissing the other one's organ, or fucking.
"Then I began to menstruate. When I asked my mother about it, she explained that I was now a woman and that it would happen each month, and that, above all, I had to be careful when I started dating boys because I could become pregnant and have a baby. 'And if you ever do,' she growled at me, 'don't come whining home to me.'
"That was my total sex education: don't screw because you can become pregnant.
"I told Doug what she had said, and he said that he knew a way that we could do it. Some guys at school had told him how to use 'rubbers,' and he got some. After that, we used to suck each other off more than before, but sometimes Doug would use a rubber. He said he didn't like them, but I didn't notice much difference.
"Paul began to get funny with me. He would grab my ass, or feel my titties, and a couple of times he kissed me on the mouth and stuck his tongue in while he was pulling me close to him, his hands on my ass cheeks, rubbing his stiff cock against my cunt. I could feel it through his pants, and, even though he made me sick, I did get a thrill out of his dry-fucking and his feeling me up all the time.
"I didn't say anything to Paul, so he just kept it up, more and more. I never told Doug, either, because I didn't want him to get mad and do anything. Paul treated him bad enough as it was.
"Then one day, I stayed home from school. I wasn't feeling so good, and my mother said she had to go to a card party in the afternoon so I should just rest in bed. Doug went to school, and Paul went to the garage. My mother left the house about one, and she hadn't been gone more than a half hour when Paul came home.
"I just knew that he had come home to try something on me, and, at first, it made me mad. But then, when he came in and sat on the bed and kissed me on the cheek and asked how I felt, I began to feel differently. I guess, deep inside, I hated my mother-for being a slut and for cheating my daddy out of his kids and his wife. I began to think that maybe I could get even with her, if I could get Paul co fuck me. Then I'd have something on him, and he'd have to treat me and Doug better, or I'd tell my mother that he fucked me.
"I guess he thought I was a dumb little kid, because he began to run his hands over my body-my breasts and my stomach and thighs-and kept asking, 'Where does it hurt, Lisa?'
"I went along with his game. I gave him some silly answers that it hurt 'inside,' and he kept on feeling me up, more and more. I could see the bulge in his pants, and I knew he was getting a hard on-for me. Then, all at once, I forgot all about getting even with my mother, or having a whip to use on Paul. I just wanted to see his cock and feel it inside me. I wondered if it would be bigger than Doug's, or if he knew other things to do that Doug didn't know.
"Paul gave me my cue. He said, with his silly, smirking smile, 'I wish I knew where it hurt, Lisa honey, so I could kiss it and make it better.'
"I told you he acted like he thought I was a dimwitted kid. I ran my hand over my breast and said, 'It hurts a little here, Paul.'
"I was wearing a thin nightie, and he slipped the straps down over my shoulder, leaving my breasts bare. He didn't say a word, just began to kiss my nipples, running his tongue over them until they stood up hard and straight. He didn't stop there. I knew he couldn't. He began to move down, kissing my stomach and sticking his tongue into my belly button. It felt good, and I began to really want him to finish me up good, by fucking me.
"Paul stripped off my nightie and spread my legs and began to kiss my pussy lips, every once in a while running his lips along the inside of my thighs, taking little nibbles of my flesh.
"As he bent over, I reached down and began to rub his cock through his pants. It was lots bigger than Doug's. I unzipped his pants and began to stroke it gently. He was getting hotter all the time, and when he felt my clit jumping around as I had my first come he was like a wolf. He acted as if he were going to eat my cunt out of my body, then chew it up and swallow it.
"I unbuckled his belt and started to slide his pants down over his hips, but he beat me to it. He stood up and stripped off his pants and his shorts in one movement, and I could see his eyes on fire for me as he mounted my body. I wanted him to give me all of that luscious, big, hard dick. He was so eager, he was trembling.
"As he began to shove it in, he mumbled, "This won't hurt much, baby. A little at first-but it'll be good for you in a minute.' I almost wanted to laugh, but I didn't. His prick felt good as it went in deeper. It was longer than Doug's and it reached farther inside me, touching the inner walls of my cunt while it rubbed against my clit with every in-and-out stroke.
"I locked my legs around his hips, and he began to kiss my neck and eyes, then my mouth. I felt like I was a queen-a grown-up woman-to be able to excite a man of Paul's age like I was doing. And I guess I was proud, in a way, that I was taking my mother's lover away from her! Not that it would matter, because I knew that she was already cheating on him with other men. Doug and I had both seen her with other men, but we hadn't thought of using that to blackmail her-not yet.
"Paul kept muttering about what a sweet little fuck I was, over and over, and, inside two minutes, we both came at the same time. I went straight to the clouds when I felt his come shoot up inside me. He was some lover, and for a second I could envy my mother, having that hard, wonderful prick any time she wanted to. I remember thinking, almost at the same time, that she was a cheap slut, because she was cheating on Paul just as she had cheated on my father. I think that if I hadn't been so thrilled with Paul's fucking I would have screamed to the skies: 'There, you no-good sonofabitcbin' whore-take some of your own medicine!'
"I had a strange vengeful feeling for Paul, too. He lay there panting-, still kissing my neck and ears, and I suddenly wanted him to know that I wasn't a dumb little girl, that I knew how he'd cheated my father. I even wanted to rub his nose in the shit of my mother by telling him that he was a sucker, that she was cheating on him just like she'd cheated my daddy. But I didn't. I wanted to save it, and use it when it most counted.
"When Paul pulled his cock out of me and wiped it on his handkerchief, he changed suddenly. He looked worried and his voice was nasty. 'Do you know what to do?' he asked, frowning. I smiled up at him innocently. 'What to do about what?' I asked.
"About-taking a douche, or something. About-not getting pregnant."
"Maybe you ought to use a rubber next time," I needled. He scowled at me. 'You damned little sexpot,' he snarled. 'If you get pregnant or tell your mother about this, I'll beat the shit out of you and then throw your little ass in a school for wayward girls.' He was climbing back into his pants, and he started to leave. He stopped at the door and growled, 'I mean it, too. Just one peep out of you, and I'll promise you -you'll be sorry.' Then he walked out. I heard the car start in the driveway and he drove back to work.
"I-just lay there, feeling good-feeling proud of, myself. I think that was the first time the idea came to me of how to get back with my father. Not so much for me, but for Doug. I could watch the hate building up in Doug every day, and I didn't want him to get into a fight with Paul, because he was always threatening Doug the way he did me-that he'd put him in a 'home' if he got smart or refused to obey orders.
"But I didn't say anything to Doug about it. I was aware that I had a lot of power at my fingertips, and I wanted to be sure that it worked out like I wanted. I wanted to live with my father-Doug and me-and I began to plan how I could do it.
"It didn't work out the way I thought it would. Doug drowned that summer in the river, and I was all alone, worse than I'd ever been. I'd always counted on Doug to tell me what to do, and in a vague way I knew that I had lost the only person in the world who really loved me.
"I really crawled into a shell after Doug died. I became meaner and meaner with my mother and with Paul, and many times I almost screamed at them to shut up, or I'd tell on both of them-Paul for fucking me, and my mother for fucking any man that asked her.
"My daddy began to spend more and more time drinking after Doug died. He seemed to be in a daze, and I could understand in a way why, because I was, too. I didn't understand all that was happening, or why it had to be so miserable for so many people-just because my mother was a cheap lay.
"Daddy never missed a chance to have me for a weekend after that, and when my mother started to object to it, I hinted to her that she'd better not squawk too loud, or I'd tell Paul all about her 'lovers.'
"She just glared at me. I knew she hated my guts, but she didn't put up any more arguments when my daddy asked to take me places or have me visit him for the weekend.
"Paul left me alone for quite a while after Doug drowned, but then he came on strong again-only this time he used a rubber when he fucked me.
"I didn't like it so much now. I guess I'd begun to hate Paul, too-almost as much as I hated my mother for what, she'd made happen to me and to Doug and my daddy. And Paul was getting meaner to me-almost as if he was ordering me to be his mistress. I still liked his fucking and his kissing my pussy; but, one day when my mother was away somewhere, he finally went too far.
"He'd had a few drinks, and when he got me undressed and took off his pants and shorts I could see that his cock was flabby and droopy. Before, he'd always been quick to get hard, just by kissing me or undressing me.
"He was in a mean mood. I remembered that he had had a big argument with my mother the night before, and I guessed that it was over her running around the way she did all the time. He had gone into Doug's old room after the argument and spent the night there.
"Now, he was ugly. He walked over to me and took his prick in his hand and snarled, 'Suck it hard!' I resented him being that way, as if I were some damned whore-like my mother.
"I looked up at him defiantly and said, I'm not your slave or your slut! Go to hell!'
"I really did want him to fuck me, but I didn't want him to get the idea that I was a piece of property that he could use or abuse.
"He stood there looking down at me in a drunken stupor, as if he didn't believe that a little puppy like me would dare snap back at him. Then he slapped me hard across the face, and it made me see red. I had never been hit by a man before, and I didn't know what to do about it. I knew I wasn't going to let him get away with it, so I reached out and grabbed his soft cock and raked it with my fingernails! I really felt like tearing it out by the roots, but I made him back off. He began to curse me and hit me, and I caught a glimpse of his cock as I was ducking away from his punches, and I was amazed to see that it was getting hard!
"He finally stopped hitting me and stood there panting, his cock standing out straight, bobbing up and down every so often. 'You little bastard,' Paul screamed. 'You're going to get what's coming to you!' He jumped on me, and before I knew what he was going to do he had turned me over on my stomach and was spreading my legs by using his knees to push them apart. I guess I must have begun to get hot, because I didn't want him to stop. I had never had it from behind. Doug and I used to talk about doing it 'doggie-fashion' but we never did try it.
"Paul was strong, and he pushed me down on the bed with one hand pressed into the middle of my back, his weight behind it. He was holding his cock in the other hand, and I began to relax, wanting to be fucked, in spite of the way my body hurt from his beating.
"Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain start at my asshole and spread to my whole lower body. Paul had shoved his cock into my asshole! It burned, and it made me "feel that he would split my asshole wide open. I couldn't do much about it, but I struggled harder. The more I did, the more Paul put his weight on my back, and finally I felt his entire cock plunge deep into my asshole!
"I wanted to scream from the pain, but it was a funny kind of hurt. I didn't really get any sex kick out of it, but still, it really got me excited and horny. Paul was making grunting noises with each plunge into my shit-hole, and the rhythm got faster all the time. Finally, through the pain, I felt his come shooting up inside of me. Paul pulled his prick out right away, and I felt like I had just relieved myself of a big turd. My whole ass ached, and the hurt went way up into my body.
"Paul went to the bathroom and I could hear the water running. I knew he was washing off his cock, and I got madder and madder as I thought of what he had done. The bastard didn't care a thing about me! He would hurt me as quick as he would kiss my cunt, and I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to take any more of his cheap shit. I wanted to get away from the bastard and from my slut mother, and I decided to do it. Even better, I knew how to do it so it would punish both of them and make everything better for Daddy and me.
"When Paul walked out of the bathroom, pulling up his pants, he seemed a lot more sober than before. He glared at me and warned, 'You little bitch, you say anything to your fucking, no-good mother, and I'll really dump your ass into a home!'
"When he left, I lay there, my ass aching, thinking how I would get even with the horny sonofabitch. It was my father's weekend to have me with him, and I knew that I could make it work. Daddy had been a lot different with me since Doug died-more gentle and thoughtful, as if he were just getting to know me-which I guess was true.
"He came to pick me up Saturday morning, and we went to an amusement park and had a good time. Daddy was always sober days, but nights, he usually began to drink early and always ended up passing out. I had often helped him get into bed, and he always said the same thing when I turned out the light. He'd say, 'You're a good girl, Lisa-not like your mother.' Once, he slipped and said, '-not like that fuckin' whore I married.'
"I knew that if I worked on Daddy, he would put a stop to that bastard, Paul, and that he'd have the ammunition to use in court-Paul's fucking me.
"When we got back home it was getting dark, and since we had eaten two meals at the park, along with some hot dogs and popcorn, Daddy began to drink. He fixed himself a martini, and I knew that when he got on those he always ended up pretty fall-down drunk.
"After he had his second one, and we were watching TV, I told him that I was a little dirty and tired, and I was going to take a bath and go to bed early. He just nodded, and I filled the tub with warm water and climbed in. I deliberately saw that there were no towels hanging out, and that there was no soap that I could use. I knew what I was doing, and I wanted to get to Daddy before he got too drunk.
"I stripped and got into the tub. I looked down at my boobies and my cunt, and I knew that I had a good body and that it would excite any man-even my daddy. Then I called out to him: 'Daddy, I'm in the tub and there's no soap or towels-will you get me some?'
"I didn't think he heard me at first, so I called 'Daddy-' again. I heard him shut the TV off, and then he came into the bathroom, his martini in his hand. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I played innocent. I squeezed the washcloth so it wasn't dripping and held it out to him. 'Wash my back while you're here, will you, Daddy?' I asked.
"He got a bar of soap from a drawer, unwrapped it, and took the washcloth. He had gulped down his drink in one swallow, and I could see that it was already getting to him. He rubbed some soap on the washcloth and began to wash my back. It felt good to have his hands on me, and I knew that he was staring at my ass and my cunt as he scrubbed me carefully. Then he began to rinse me off, and I looked over my shoulder at him. 'Want to dry me off?' I asked, smiling at him.
"He seemed in a daze, but he stood up and nodded and got a towel from the cabinet and stood there, looking at my body. I had stood up and was facing him. He could see all of my cunt, because I was almost shoving it out at him, and I watched his eyes as he looked at my budding breasts and at my pussy, which was just coming to have a fairly heavy growth of pubic hair.
"I could see his pants begin to bulge, and I knew that he was getting horny, but he seemed in a daze. I knew it wasn't the booze. I could see a different thing in his eyes and in the way he kept licking his lips.
"I held out my arms and laughed, 'Dry me, Daddy. I won't bite you!' He moved closer and began to dry my body, careful not to touch my breasts or my cunt-at first. I asked, 'Haven't I got a nice body, Daddy?' He just kept on rubbing my stomach and shoulders and I knew he was really getting horny. I went into my act. I began to cry a little, and when he saw the tears-I could always turn them on or off-he dropped the towel on the floor and put his arms around me. I climbed out of the tub and he held me close. I could feel his cock getting stiff as it brushed against my cunt, and I kissed him on the lips and said, 'I'm so lonely, Daddy, without Doug. I just want-want somebody to love me, the way Doug used to, Love me, Daddy-please love me.'
"I do, Lisa-" he mumbled, pulling me even tighter to him. "I do love you. I do." He seemed to be trying to convince himself that he only loved me as his little girl, not as a person with a luscious, provocative body.
"Show me, Daddy-really love me," I begged.
"Without a word, he picked me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom-his bedroom. He put me on the bed, and I lay there, my legs spread wide and my nipples getting hard and jutting up at him. He was in a trance almost, but he peeled off his pants and shorts and then his shirt. He stood there naked. I reached out and took his cock in my hand. He moved a little closer, and I began to pump it a little. It was getting harder, and I pulled him closer, taking his hand. I kissed the head of his prick, then ran my lips down over it and began to suck it.
"He just stood there, staring down at me, wanting me, yet not being able to relax and really make love to me.
"I stopped sucking his cock and pulled him down on the bed beside me. He relaxed a little, then he leaned over and began to kiss my breasts. His hand wandered to my pussy and he began to shove his finger up inside, touching my clit and making it jerk. He suddenly changed completely. He seemed to forget that I was his daughter, and that I was only twelve. His passions took over and he acted as if he were with an adult, attractive woman whom he wanted very much.
"He began to kiss my stomach, moving down, gently biting my flesh, getting me hotter by the moment. I guess that I forgot, for a while, that he was my real father. I wanted him to fuck me and kiss me, and I didn't care who he was. I began to feel the same as I had when Doug made love to me. I just knew that Daddy loved me and that I wanted him to go all the way. I even forgot that I was working out a plan to get away from my mother and Paul.
"Like I said at the beginning, I took command and he was helpless. After he had made me come by sucking my cunt, he moved up and began to fuck me. It was wonderful, and I just let myself go, using all of my body on him to make him come good.
"When he did, and began to sob and say, 'Who made you like this, baby?' I finally remembered why I had seduced him.
"It was a long time later that I finally told him. I had sucked him off, then he had mounted me and fucked me again. I must have come five times to his three, and, for hours, we just loved each other. No crying-no fears-just loving, like any man and woman do who really love each other.
"He was cold sober when we finally stopped. He put on his shorts, I just put on a thin nightie, and we went to the kitchen where I made some coffee. He sat at the kitchen table, just staring at me as I moved, as if he wanted to apologize for what he had done. Over coffee, we talked.
"I told him about Paul-but not about Doug. I didn't want to hurt Doug's memory, so I made it sound as if Paul had been the first one to fuck me and make me suck his cock.
"I could see him getting angry, and it brought him out of his daze. He leaned across the table and took my hand. Looking deep into my eyes, Daddy said, 'What do you want me to do, baby?'
"I told him that I wanted to come and live with him, to get away from Paul and my mother. I told him that I knew all about her fucking other men, and never him, while they lived together. I told him all the times that Doug and I had watched while other men made love to her. I told him that I hated her, and Paul, too, and that if he didn't go to court and get me back, I'd run away somehow.
"We went to bed that night in his bed, but we didn't screw or anything. We just talked about what he was going to do, and how I would go to court and testify to all the things that he was going to charge Paul and my mother with.
"When we woke next morning, Sunday, we just naturally began to caress and kiss, and after a few moments Daddy had a real good hard on, and we just plain screwed. It was as if the talk we'd had had taken away all the clouds and we were just like a man and a woman in love. While he fucked me, Daddy whispered sweet things to me, like, 'You've got a sweet body and a beautiful face, Lisa. I love you like I've never loved anyone-you're my idea of heaven.' Even when Doug and I used to play around, it was never like that. Doug just wasn't the kind to make love with words, and I guess my daddy had been away from a real, loving woman for so long that all the words had been building up inside him, and now he let them out.
"He was so gentle and sweet to me from there on, it made me want to cry. He had explained that the court might make me a ward of the state, so that I couldn't live with him like I wanted to, but I told him even that would be better than living with those two.
"When he took me home Sunday night, we were both filled with love-full, real love, that started inside our bodies and found an outlet when we really made love to one another. I hated to see him drive away, but he promised that he would go to the District Attorney's Office and tell them what I had told him about Paul and my mother. And he kept his word. On Tuesday, Paul was arrested and my mother was served with a summons accusing her of maintaining an unfit home for a juvenile. Paul was charged with rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
"Instead of making me a ward of the court, they gave my father temporary custody of me. The man from the juvenile court told Daddy not to worry, that he was positive that the court would give him permanent custody. For two weeks, Daddy and I had so much fun-not just in bed, but in a lot of ways. He took me to movies, to the parks, the zoo, for a boat ride-it was like being a brand-new little girl again. Then, when we got home, it was even better, because we didn't have to pretend that we weren't so much in love.
"Daddy hardly ever drank now, and we both looked forward to just being together, with more love than most girls or fathers ever know.
"I suppose that's hard to understand, what with all the incest that was going on, but at the time neither of us even thought 'bout it. We were just too much in love and enjoying sex too much to think of what might happen.
"I was so carried away that I never thought about me getting pregnant. Daddy started to talk about it once or twice, but he never did use a rubber, and I never did take any pills or anything. I guess we were just too happy to think that anything could spoil it.
"Then it happened-I got pregnant. I was too scared at first to tell my daddy, but after three months it began to show and he was floored. He just didn't have any idea what to do. He'd heard about abortions, but he hadn't the vaguest idea where to contact one, or how much it would cost. He did talk to a man who worked with him, without telling him any of the truth, and this man said we should try something called Er-got-apial, and I took a whole bottle, along with a lot of hot baths, but I was still pregnant and getting bigger by the day.
"Then the roof fell in. My teacher in school, my homeroom teacher, suspected I was pregnant and told the school doctor. I was called down to the principal's office and the doctor was there. They insisted that I be examined, and I got scared and let them.
"When they found that I was really pregnant, they called in the juvenile authorities and I was taken away from my daddy. I never did tell them who the father of my baby was, and they took advantage of a new law in our state that said a 'clinical abortion' could be performed at the order of a court. I was almost four months pregnant when they did the abortion. After I got better, they sent me to a state home for delinquent girls, and I never did see my father again.
"I found out later that my mother had gone to the police and swore that she knew from seeing us that my father and I had been having sexual relations. She couldn't prove it, of course, but they did investigate my father. One night, he got smashed to the ears and drove his car into a telegraph pole. I guess everyone that knew about us thought it was suicide. I don't know. I guess when his world fell down, maybe he did want to get out of it. I've felt that way a hundred times-that's why I have to take psychotherapy.
"I guess I'm a lot wiser than my seventeen years show-at least about a lot of things. I don't know what I'll do when I get out, if I do get out, at eighteen years of age. Life here isn't too bad, except for the lesbians that hound you all the time. They don't get anywhere with me. I want a man-a good man who will love me like my brother and my daddy did, and I want to get married some day. But for now-I just don't know what I want. Life goes by awful quick, yet it drags a lot. Maybe the docs will be able to help me enough so that I'll have a good life when I'm out. I hope so."
That is Lisa's account of what happened to a lonely, frightened, love-starved child. The tragedy of her life is probably not yet over. Her psychiatrists feel that she will fall prey to older men's lusts when she is finally released, for she has a definite complex involving older men, like her stepfather, Paul, and her real father, who is now dead.
Yet, they feel that she is sincere in her efforts to straighten out her life. She is an honor student, and she has never been in any trouble at the institution where she is incarcerated. Most important, her doctors point out, is the fact that she has not succumbed to the advances of lesbians, as a great many of the girls do when isolated among their own sex.
We can only say a fervent amen to Lisa's closing words: "Maybe I'll have a good life when I'm out. I hope so."