Chapter 7
With a flurrish, Kip handed a drink to Phil, then slipped onto the divan beside his guest. His arm glided behind Phil, almost but not quite touching the nape of the boy's neck.
"Now, fess up, what really brought you here, dear? Don't tell me your lord and master allows you to flit around this wicked city by yourself at night."
Phil smiled weakly at Kip's effort to be funny. "He was busy, that second act trouble. So I just-"
"Bullshit," snorted Kip, taking a sip of his drink. "You two had a fight. I can always tell."
Kip set his glass down, reached over and took Phil's hand in his. Phil looked at him, a pleading look in his eyes.
"Did I guess right?" Phil nodded.
"I thought as much. Well, we all have lovers' quarrels. Don't let it get you down too much." "But-"
"Don't argue. I've been through a thousand moments just like this. What you need is to drink up, and then have quite a few more. You can stay the night here, and don't worry, I won't try anything if you don't want it. Tomorrow things'll work out just fine. You'll see."
"I-I just don't feel like drinking. Why do . . . ? "
"Everyone has a fight now and then. That's life, honey."
"Sometimes, late at night, I get to thinking. . . and wondering if all this is really right."
Kip smiled knowingly, and clutched Phil's hand tightly.
"Someone once said, 'Life has all kinds of things; there isn't only one road.' He was talking about us."
"Dan and I, we've talked about it, but still sometimes I wonder. Sometimes it seems all so wrong."
"Hasn't Dan opened doors for you, guided you to things that you wouldn't otherwise know of, enjoy? Don't tell me there isn't a deep, spiritual affection there. Sure, you have fun in bed, but isn't that just another way of expressing your feelings for each other, giving each other pleasure? It's not the same as going out on the street and making a pass at just any nelly thing that happens to mince past."
"But this . . . sex has gotten such a bad name in the theater. Don't you find it disgusting?"
"Disgusting? What's disgusting about sex if you like the guy? I used to cringe just at the thought of having to go to bed with someone to get a role, and I refused. But an actor has to eat, even if it means swallowing his pride . . . and sometimes something else." He chuckled.
"After I saw others getting roles I knew I could have done better, I wised up. Don't get me wrong, not every Broadway casting director is that way. Not by a long shot. It's sometimes easier to let some guy slobber over your dick for an evening and end up with a good role than to be so high principled and empty bellied. When it comes to my own pleasure I still can pick and choose.
"It's a shame the theater has to be this way, but that's the way it is and neither you nor I is gonna change it by sitting here bitching. You could end up with a very groovy job yourself, you know."
Phil looked sharply at Kip, surprise on his face.
"I'm sure Sartain could find you something. I've seen him looking your way."
"I-I don't believe it! Sartain has been so nice to me. He wouldn't-"
"Oh, he'd be quite careful and discreet, but to be perfectly blunt, I just bet he's itching to get in your pants."
"But he's married. Dan pointed out his son-"
"Phil, that's a gem," Kip said, bursting out in laughter. "Sartain is married for convenience alone. He hasn't been with his wife, except for public appearances, in years."
"But Scott--? "
"Scott was an unfortunate acccident, one night's mistake, so to speak. And there's been talk that Sartain isn't even the father."
"But why? What makes Mrs. Sartain--? "
"Money, old boy, and appearances. Hers was the trite but true story of chorus girl made good, and I do mean made. When Sartain decided he needed family respectability to woo money out of those conservative 'angels,' he chose her as a pretty jewel for his crown of success. When she realized what he was, at first she was all for splitting the blanket. Then she wised up to the groovy deal she had, all the things she's wanted but couldn't afford, an easy life without work, and a husband who didn't care who she catted around with."
"It seems so, so sordid."
"A lot of things in the theater world are, Phil. It's just on stage that life is so neatly tidied up by the third act. Let me cap off this little story of happily married family life by saying if young Scott doesn't become as big a queen as his old man, I'll be mightily surprised. He's sort of making the rounds of the better beds in town, already."
At last Kip quietly took the glass from Phil's hand and urged him to his feet.
"Enough of this jawing for tonight. I didn't mean to give you the unabridged lecture of life on the wicked, wicked stage," he said and grinned. "For all its sins, it's still the most fascinating field in the world, and I wouldn't change it if I could. Why don't we go find something to eat? I'm famished and you always look like you could use a few pounds."
Phil excused himself to wash his face, and Kip quickly dialed Dan's number.
"Hi, Kip here. I've got your love child in tow. You two have a knock-down, drag-out over there?"
He listened for a moment.
"Thought as much. Well, he's okay, sort of down in the mouth but we're going out for a bite to eat. I'll try to talk him into coming back after that. Just wanted you to know he wasn't cruising the streets."
He quickly hung up when he heard Phil returning.
"Have you eaten at Luigi's yet?" Kip asked as they cut across a narrow street in the face of a small foreign car that bleated in protest. "It's a'teal ball, especially if we can get a table on the sidewalk. The fried chicken is almost as tasty as the chicken that'll be strolling past."
"We haven't been going out. It was more fun to cook at home."
"You'll have fun. We can sit there and watch the fairies flit past," Kip said, chuckling as Phil looked at him with a perplexed expression. "I mean the real nelly things, the so-called queers who give all us gays a bad name. They sashay up and down all evening."
Phil still was easily lost in the Village, and was firmly convinced the streets never were in the same place two days in succession.
"Watch out you don't get raped," Kip muttered as they passed a crowded newsstand near a jammed intersection. "This is homo heaven."
A particularly effeminate young man with a mane of black curly hair which doubtless would tumble almost to his shoulders if it weren't swept up into a bouffant puff, suddenly shrilled "Kip!" and swished over from the building where he had been lounging.
"Hi," Kip said, almost sullenly.
The stranger unabashedly was staring at Phil.
"Well, Mary," he shrilled. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new lover?"
Kip scowled as he saw Phil blush.
"This is Phil-Phil, this mad creature is Milton-"
"Millicent, please, darling."
"Okay, Millicent the mad artiste. She features herself to be the next Toulouse-"
"Too loose? That's a scream," Millicent said and cackled, totally ignoring the stares of others waiting for the light to change. "Hey, where're you dears going? We're having a bash later on. Why not come over? I like new faces and new, ah-"
"Dunno, Millie," Kip said and shrugged. "Phil and I are going to eat, and then I don't-"
"But, darling, there's plenty of time! It won't really get swinging until midnight or later. So many of the kids won't be out of shows. Come on over any time.
"And don't be afraid, dear," he said to Phil. "I don't bite-hard, that is." With a shrill laugh the creature turned and almost floated away, waving over his shoulder.
"Damn," Kip growled as they strolled on. "That's the trouble with knowing all the wilder creatures. They don't have any sense about causing a scene. I'm sorry if Millie upset you, Phil. She's really a good-damn, there I go calling him Millie again. It gets to be a habit; he gets so furious if you call him Milton."
They were able to steal a sidewalk table from under the noses of two leather-clad girls who turned away swearing like tfuck drivers, and enjoyed a leisurely meal and the scenery that passed by, as Kip had promised.
At last Phil turned to Kip in disgust as a particularly effeminate queen went screaming past, holding hands with a leather boy.
"I-I don't know what to think about all this," he said. "I'm sick to death of all these-I-well, queers. People don't have to behave like that, do they?"
"This is New York, not Oklahoma. Let your hair down a little, Phil, and let off some steam, or you'll swell up and bust inside."
"I-I just can't behave like them. It's disgusting."
"I don't say be a screaming, raging faggot. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Nobody's gonna run home and tell mama if you make eyes at some cute young thing, or maybe even go home with him. You're gonna get sick if you keep all your feelings pent-up inside." "But I have Dan."
"Well, then, let him know how you feel. Forget about the limp wristed ones. It's their life, not yours."
They finished their meal and strolled down the street, bought an ice cream cone apiece and finally found themselves in Washington Square where they sat down to lick their cream-sticky fingers and watch others stroll past.
More than one handsome young stud glanced longingly at Phil and some of the more bold ones even stopped to ask the time or for a match.
Phil tried to ignore their knowing looks, and kept up a prattle of nonsense with Kip. Somehow the conversation kept coming around to Dan, and each time a wave of sadness swept over Phil.
"Oh, God, Kip, what'm I going to do?" he finally cried. "I can't go back to him now. Not after walking out like-"
"Why not? But if you want, stay the night with me. You should feel differently in the morning. Everybody has fights; you wouldn't be human if you didn't. Now what you say we really kick up our heels and go to that mad queen's bash? Who knows, you may find a new lover and forget all about-"
The attempt at jest died on his lips as Kip saw the look of fear and sadness come over Phil's face.
"I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean it that way."
The boy nodded, but tears were welling up.
"A party will still do you good. Have a few drinks and relax. In the morning everythingll be just fine."
Kip held out his hand, beckoning to Phil. Mutely the youth followed, and when they reached the quiet of the dark side street, he clasped the actor's hand and they walked along together.