Chapter 1
Carol Palm woke lazily. She was lying alone in her bed for a change and was nude, which was not unusual at all. Her long legs parted, separating the lips of her cunt in the process and her right hand automatically sought out her clit. She began massaging the jutting button fondly, feeling her juices starting to flow. She kept her green eyes closed, her black lashes lying long and silky on her smooth cheeks. As her left hand reached up to her full breasts, she began stroking them, tweaking her pink nipples until they stood out rosy and perky. Her other hand between the lips of her cunt began moving faster now and her head spun toward the memory of Lila, the girl she had seen in the gay bar last night.
Carol had wanted to talk to Lila, but it was almost impossible to even get close to her. She was so pretty, she was continuously surrounded by other girls who kept her busily dancing until the bar closed.
Carol had sat at her table, staring at Lila and drinking her beer morosely. Once, she had approached Lila in order to ask her to dance. Lila's blue eyes had flashed with interest, but just then another girl had intervened and Carol had slunk back to her table, feeling beaten. Now, as her fingers expertly flicked her thickening clit back and forth and up and down, Carol envisioned what it would be like to have Lila's tongue down there, sucking and licking. Just the idea made Carol's hips rise off her bed in a frantic bucking motion and a great hiss of air escape from her full lips. She had to meet Lila! She didn't know why she was so obsessed this way, but she was, and her desire for the beautiful strange girl filled her with a gnawing sensation that even her skillful fingers could not assuage.
Lila! she cried silently, twisting and rocking her shapely hips from side to side, building towards her climax. Oh Lila! Now Carol began shuddering, biting her lower lip, tossing her head back and forth on her pillow, feeling her blood racing faster and faster through her body. With her active imagination, it was as real as life to her that Lila was bringing these waves of pleasure that coursed through her young body. Then, with a final gasp, it was over, and Carol's hips sank back down on her bed and her hand moved away from her throbbing cunt. Though she would have liked to keep her hand there longer, the intensity of her orgasm was so acute, it only brought her pain.
When a few minutes had passed, Carol swung her long legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Yawning and stretching, the sight she presented would have given a Peeping Tom an eyeful, should he have been able to scan the twenty stories that separated Carol's body from the street. It was a better body than most twenty-three year old girls were fortunate to have, and Carol knew it. She took great pride in her body, walking instead of riding and watching her diet. The results of this kind of care were obvious even to the casual observer, and Carol had her hands full, staving off the leering men who gaped after her as she pranced proudly along the Village streets, laughing to herself that they should be so obtuse as to desire her.
Carol only dug women. Ever since high school she had preferred a nice warm tongue to a stiff hard prick, and she doubted she would ever change. Nor did she want to change. In fact, the only thing right now about her life that Carol would change, would be the insertion of Lila into her life.
When she finished her shower and had dressed in the tight blue jeans and cool blouse she had laid out the night before, Carol hit the Saturday street life of a summer Village morning. She went to her corner grocery store to pick up a few things, complaining all the while to herself over the increased prices. In fact, Carol was in a pretty vile mood considering the fact that she had gotten her rocks off not that long ago. Nothing, but nothing, would put a smile on her face until she had her head buried between Lila's thighs.
As she took her place in line at the check-out section, Carol gasped. She wasn't sure, but it looked as though the girl first in line was Lila! Carol's heart began pounding. She longed to call out to this girl's back, "Lila!", but Carol functioned enough in the straight world to avoid making an ass out of herself. However, her agitation grew and she pushed forward in the line, trying to hurry those in front of her up so that she might follow the slender figure of the girl who was now leaving the store.
"Stop pushing!" the old woman in front of her said in annoyance, turning around to glare at Carol. Carol gazed down into her wizened face in exasperation.
"Here!" she said to the woman, laying her small armful of groceries on the astonished woman. Then she ran out the door.
Up ahead she could see the girl, walking along and once, (as she turned to gaze into a store window), Carol was sure that that perfect profile belonged to the elusive Lila. Her heart was racing so fast on the summer street, Carol felt sure she would have a heart attack, but she pushed forward, knocking little kids out of the way in her hurry to stand next to Lila.
This is crazy! she told herself. You've got to get your shit together! But it was no use to apply this social restriction on her behavior. She no longer gave a fuck what others would think of her actions. She broke into a run and began calling aloud: "Lila! Lila!"
The girl stopped and turned then, her face a question mark of surprise. Carol inadvertently gasped when faced with the sheer beauty of this lovely girl. She tried to smile, but her throat was dry from the effort of running and her own panic. As for Lila, her blue eyes were bemused as she waited for the panting Carol to catch up with her.
"I thought it was you," Carol said, finally standing next to Lila. Now that she had actually captured Lila's attention, she felt foolish as though she was back in grade school.
"I'm sorry," Lila said lightly, "do I know you?"
"Last night," Carol stammered, "at the Purple Cat. I was watching you."
Lila laughed easily. "Oh, wow!" she said. "I was really so busy it seemed as though I had met everyone! But I don't remember you. I'm sorry."
"I am too," Carol said, feeling like an asshole.
Now what, she wondered? Lila! she wanted to yell. Let's go to your place, or my place or anyplace. Let's just the two of us spend some time together! But she couldn't come right out like that and express her innermost feelings so she began shuffling in front of the impressive Lila, wishing the sidewalk would swallow her up.
"Where are you going now?" she finally blurted. "I didn't know you lived in the neighborhood."
"I just moved in from upstate," Lila said. "I'm new."
"I live around here too," Carol said. "Would you like to see my place?"
Lila glanced at her watch. "Well," she said slowly, "I'm supposed to meet some friends later on this afternoon, but what the hell? Why not!"
She smiled gaily and Carol felt as though she had died and gone to heaven. It had been much easier than she had anticipated, but what the fuck was she going to do now? Just because Lila had agreed to see her apartment didn't mean shit! But she fell into step with the taller Lila, trying to control the pounding of her heart and her general all-round foolish feelings.
She wanted to know so much about Lila. How old she was, what she did for a living, what kind of life she had lived that had made her decide she was gay. There was so much to know and there was so much to taste and savor about her! Carol wanted to have sex with Lila so badly, the fact that she had just come a short while ago was as though it had never happened. Playing with herself just couldn't approximate the sensation she would receive from the living, breathing person walking along with her now!
"We're almost there," she said, almost apologetically. She wished she could make her apartment appear right on the spot, and more specifically, she wished she could make her bed materialize on the sidewalk so she could dispense with all this bullshit and just fucking get it on with her!
"I've got some milk and eggs with me," Lila said, referring to her package. "Could I put them in your refrigerator?"
"Sure!" Carol replied, leading the way into her building. That meant to Carol that Lila was planning on spending a little time with her anyway.
"Where is your stuff?" Lila asked suddenly. "Weren't you shopping?"
"I just got cigarettes," Carol lied. Lila must have seen her in the store after all! They were in the fast-rising elevator now and Carol frantically went over the disarray that she had left her apartment in. She didn't want Lila to think she was a sloppy housekeeper. Maybe she would think that she was as careless with the care of her cunt as she was with her pad! And that simply was not true. If there was one thing Carol prided herself on, it was the fact that her cunt was always ready to be eaten out! Fresh as a daisy and moist and clean, that's the way Carol kept the most important part of her anatomy and she hoped Lila felt the same way.
But her desire for Lila was so strong that had Lila not bathed in a week, Carol felt as though she would just hold her nose and dive face first into her muff!
"Hey!" Lila was saying, as she stood surveying Carol's apartment. "This is really nice! You must make a lot of money to have a place like this!"
She looked at Carol accusingly, as though making a lot of money meant she had sold out to the system.
Carol didn't answer right away. She felt guilty enough as it was over the fact that her parents were rich and gave her anything that she wanted. But the one thing they didn't give her was the most important thing she desired from them: acceptance. Nevertheless she took their money and pursued her own lifestyle, despite their pleas to "straighten up, settle down with a nice boy and get married!"
Carol was afraid to come right out and tell Lila she had this extra income. She wanted Lila to like her for herself and not the fact that she was on some kind of unlimited expense account from her folks.
"I do all right," she said, going towards the refrigerator and putting Lila's things inside.
"God! It's hot!" she exclaimed. "Do you want a beer or something?"
Lila laughed out loud. It was such a cheerful, careless sound that Carol almost came right then and there.
"It's awfully early for a beer isn't it?" she asked. "But then again, I still have a bit of a head from last night. Maybe it will straighten me out."
"Good!" Carol said. She opened two cold beers and gave one to Lila. Taking a big swill from her own, Carol welcomed the looseness the beer would impart to her brain, making her bolder than she normally would be. She sat down on the couch next to Lila. Though she yearned to know everything there was to know about Lila, right now she only wanted to know her in bed.
Lila began to relax, leaning back against the couch and holding her beer carelessly between her parted thighs. Carol tried not to stare at the spot where she yearned to bury her face, but it was difficult.
They began talking, slowly at first and then with the excitement of two people who find they have much in common.
"What did you think about the Cat?" Carol wanted to know.
"I loved it," Lila said. "We didn't have a bar like that in the hick town I came from. And it was nice to find a place in the city where I could feel completely at home."
"I know what you mean," Carol said, rising reluctantly from the closeness of Lila on the couch in order to replenish their beers.
"Wow! Look at me!" Lila cried, amused at her behavior. "Not in New York more than a few days and already going to hell in a barrel!"
She seemed delighted by the fact. Carol didn't answer right away. She wondered just how far into hell Lila was willing to go!
Lila then wanted to know how long Carol had been in New York and Carol talked guardedly about her own past.
She had grown up in New York, though Uptown. Park Avenue to be exact, though she tried to downplay this information to Lila. But the implications of growing up on Park Avenue escaped Lila entirely.
"Gee," she said. "I don't know if I'd dig having my parents so close!"
Carol smiled to herself. There was no doubt in her mind that she was far more sophisticated than Lila. She knew that Park Avenue was as far removed from the life she led in the Village as Lila's own parents were living way upstate.
Carol became very interested in the fact that despite Lila's beauty, she seemed totally unselfconscious about the way she appeared to others. Her speech was full of gollies and gee whizes and Carol wondered with sadness how long it would be before Lila realized the value of her beauty and freshness. Carol was beginning to feel very old next to Lila, but this only made her feel more protective.
"How old are you?" she finally asked, now that she had regained her composure.
"Nineteen," Lila answered easily, bringing the can of beer to her gorgeous lips and taking a deep swallow of the liquid. Carol stared at the way the fluid ran down Lila's lovely throat.
"I dropped out of college," Lila went on, "it was too boring."
She put her beer down on the coffee table in front of them and lit a cigarette. Carol felt jealous, seeing anything in Lila's mouth other than her own body, but she too lit a cigarette.
The tension was building in the apartment between them and Carol felt it would be up to her to break it.
"Well," Lila said, looking again at her watch, "thanks for showing me your place. I think I'd better get going."
She started to rise.
"No!" Carol cried, surprised at the vehemence in her voice. "I mean," she added more gently, "I wish you didn't have to run off so quickly."
"Well," Lila drawled, "Maybe I don't ... ", her voice trailed off as she never got a chance to finish her sentence. Carol had covered her protests with her own hungry mouth and her searching tongue as it probed to find the essence of Lila.
Lila was so taken aback by this sudden movement on Carol's part, she didn't respond right away, and Carol seized on her hesitancy to wrap her arms around the other girl with such force, Lila felt as though she was being inundated by a powerful vise.
Every fiber of her being leapt in response to the desire Carol was instilling in her consciousness. Her responses became automatic and she thought to herself that moving away from her parents home and into the Village was the best possible move for her to have made.
Her arms also went around Carol so that their breasts were jutting and mashing into each other as though they were hugging mirrors. Lila could feel the insistence of Carol's need and it caused her cunt to grow moist and yearning for the soothing licks of Carol's tongue. In her desire to escape from the confinement her jeans provided, her hand went down to undo her zipper, but Carol's hand was already there, tugging away at her jeans, and sobbing incoherently in her desire for the other girl's raw flesh.
Between the two of them, they were able to remove Lila's jeans and Carol wasted no time at all in stripping quickly out of her own clothes so that they lay in an unsightly heap on the living room carpet.
Now Carol was on her knees in front of Lila's bush. She pushed the younger girl's legs as far apart as she could, separating the hairy lips of her cunt in order to gain more easy access to the juicy twat that presented itself to her face.
With no thought to anything other than licking away at Lila's box, Carol buried her head between the other girl's thighs and sucked at her clit and licked at her labia as though it was the most important thing in the world.
"Oh!" Lila gasped, seizing Carol by her blonde hair with both hands and using both hands to control as much as possible the voracious tonguing her cunt was receiving.
Her head went completely back on the couch and her eyes squeezed shut with pleasure. She could feel the frantic sucking and swallowing sounds Carol was making and as far as Lila was concerned, going to the grocery store in New York was far superior to shopping in the supermarket upstate.
"That's it!" she told Carol in inarticulate gasps. "Right there!" and she frantically pulled and tugged at Carol's head to emphasize her point.
Carol nuzzled and licked and sucked away, not quite knowing why she was driven to taste Lila in this fashion, but digging it beyond her wildest expectations. She loved the way Lila moaned and moved her body, squeezing her thighs around Carol's ears, holding her tighter and asking her to go even deeper into her cunt.
And when Lila raised her hips so high that her rosebud-like asshole was presented to Carol's mouth, Carol never even missed a lick as she ate out Lila's asshole as though it was a bonus.
Lila knew she wouldn't be able to sustain this kind of attention to her cunt much longer without coming and though she fought against coming to the apex of her climax, she was fighting against nature herself.
We can always do this again, she promised herself wildly. Just because I come right now doesn't mean I'll never come again.
"Oh God!" she cried. "Make me come!"
Carol increased her frantic lickings even more. She knew in her heart that there would be times between the two of them when Lila would return the favor, but for right now she was content to be the giver of pleasure.
"Oh, yes!" Lila was crying. "OH YES!"
Then her hips started shuddering and bucking around like a crazed rag doll and Carol took a deep satisfaction knowing that she was giving such obvious pleasure to this delicious cunt.
"I LOVE IT!" Lila screamed, heaving now so madly that Carol had all she could do to hang on. In fact, if Lila hadn't grasped at the roots of her hair so firmly, Carol feared she could never match the furious pace Lila was demanding of her.
Then Lila stopped her yelling and began to drop into the kind of lassitude associated with sexual contentment. Carol stayed on her knees for a bit, her head buried contentedly between her new friend's thighs, but in a bit she was back on her feet, staring down at the crumpled being she had been afraid to approach that morning in the corner grocery store.
Lila, in her satiation, looked more beautiful than in her desire. A few beads of sweat had popped out on her forehead, giving her face a glowing look, her clear skin was flushed with excitement making her make-upless face as rosy as the finest cosmetic. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows arched around her now closed eyes and her dark hair framed her face like a painting.
Carol felt a yearning in her chest growing larger. She didn't want Lila to leave her apartment and go off to meet "friends". She wanted to possess her wholly and completely, not sharing her at all with anyone else, but holding her all to herself. Carol had to fight against this feeling, as it had been her downfall in every other relationship that she had ever had. Her insatiable desire to possess, to KNOW everything about her lovers was frightening to many and was accountable for the fact that Carol often slept alone.
Now, as she quietly walked into her bathroom to freshen herself up, she reminded the voice inside her that was crying with elation over her new prey that she had better cool it. When she returned to the living room, she discovered a red-faced Lila gathering her things out of the refrigerator, fully-dressed and about to depart.
She told Carol where she lived and added that maybe she would see her later on at the Cat that night, if she was going there.
Carol wanted to say that she hated gay bars and only went to them when she was depressed but she didn't. She also didn't add that the last thing in the world that she wanted to do was watch Lila dancing all over the place with everyone else.
"Maybe I will stop in later," Carol said, forcing herself to smile, though in her heart she yearned to grab Lila and tie her up to her bed with a rope!
Then she was gone and Carol was left alone once again. She didn't mind so much this time as her flesh was still warm with the impressions Lila had left on it, and her mouth still bore faint traces of her scent and taste.
With Lila gone, but with the possibility that she might see her again that very evening, Carol was able to get through the rest of her day. Even going so far as to return to the corner grocer's to replace those items she had forced on the woman in front of her.
But as Carol was letting herself back into her apartment, she heard her phone ringing. Hurrying to it, in the hopes that it was Lila, she breathlessly asked:
"Hello?"
"Hello, Carol," the rich, modulated voice of her mother said.
Carol's heart sank. "Oh, hi, Mom," she replied listlessly.
"We haven't seen you in quite a while," her mother went on. "I'd like you to have dinner this evening with us."
Carol quickly calculated how long it would take to suffer through one of her mother's dinners and said:
"What time?"
"Come up at seven," her mother said. "Do you want us to send a 'car for you, or are you still at that stage when you insist on showing your independence by riding the subway?"
"Maybe I'll take a cab," Carol said shortly. She hated it whenever her mother mocked her attempts to be free of their hold on her.
"Now that makes a great deal of sense," her mother replied, the pleasure in her voice thick and heavy. "Dress a little, will you? I'm having an old school chum join us and I don't want you disgracing me."
"Okay," Carol said, thinking to herself how if her mother knew anything of her true lifestyle she would be so disgraced she would never bother Carol again!
Hanging up the phone, Carol went into her bedroom closet and selected a long dress she had bought in a thrift shop for three dollars. It gave her an inordinate amount of satisfaction to think that she would be wearing this bargain into her mother's apartment. She also wondered if her father would be there. He hardly ever was, and as her mother hadn't mentioned the presence of Phil, Carol doubted he would.
She decided to lie down and take a short nap. As she settled back on her bed, her thoughts went back to the man who was her father. The man she had always called Phil.
Growing up in the great apartment that Phil paid for yet rarely saw had been fun in some ways for Carol. Especially when he did make his rare visits. He was a very handsome man, continuously tanned and always smelling of some good aftershave lotion. It had been Carol's opinion that her mother must have done something wrong to keep her father away so much. Later, when she was old enough to understand "these things", her mother explained that they were separated and that she would never give him a divorce.
Every time Carol wanted to know why, her mother would sniff off some kind of excuse and Carol would be left alone with her fantasies of her father.
When she was fourteen years old, her father had taken her to Europe. She was thrilled with the prospect of traveling with her father without the presence of her mother, but they hadn't spent too many days at sea before Carol realized her father drank too much.
One night he had come into her cabin while she was sleeping and sat down next to her on her bed.
Carol hadn't done anything about this, she only wondered why he hadn't knocked first.
"So pretty," her father was saying thickly. "So pretty my Caroline!"
Her father was the only person that called her Caroline and she liked it. She reached out to take his hand, but he had seized it more fervently than Carol had expected.
"You are becoming a young woman," he had said. "You ARE a young woman!"
He seemed amazed by this as though it had happened against his better wishes. Carol murmured something inane and the next thing she knew her father was lying in bed next to her. She could smell his foul breath, heavy with the fumes of alcohol, but she said nothing as he was her father and it wasn't polite to criticize grownups.
But then he began caressing her, running his heavy, manicured hand up and down her thin nightie and making breathing sounds that sounded harsh and rasping to Carol.
"Are you all right?" she had asked, sincerely believing her father to be ill and in need of her help.
"I'm okay," he had said, his thick tongue moving with difficulty in his mouth. The next thing Carol knew was that his mouth was on hers.
She fought against the oppressive heaviness of his weight as he carelessly pressed down on her slender frame. She tried to push him away but it was like pushing a horse off her body after they had fallen.
Panic swept through her body, and fear. This was not the father she knew and loved and though he may have been drunk at the moment, Carol was aware enough to know that this was more than fatherly concern on his part.
She could not speak. His mouth had encircled hers, forcing his fat tongue between her gritted teeth and his hands held her fast against the rough tweed of his jacket:
Carol began to cry, but silently. Her hot tears seared down his cheeks but he showed no mind at all. With each new struggle on her part, no matter how vain, he overcame it with his perverted desire and his drunken need of her.
His hand was between her legs now, forcing her young thighs apart and probing at her pubis, murmuring all the while about how "tight" she was.
Oh course she was tight! She was a virgin for crying out loud, but not for long. He had his fly upzipped and his cock out so fast that had someone had a clock on him he would have won an award for the fastest cock on board, despite his drunken state of being.
Carol could feel something thick and hose-like probing at the entrance to her tiny hole and struggle as she did, it only resulted in more pain.
Meanwhile her father was murmuring in her ear how superior she was to that bitch, Mildred, his wife and how he couldn't believe that someone as lovely as Carol could have sprung from her loins.
As for Carol, she finally ceased her struggling and with a sharp pain felt her father enter all the way up her cunt.
Then he began rutting back and forth, pushing (it seemed to Carol) harder and harder. She wondered why he wanted to hurt her in this fashion, what had she done? It was all so confusing to her she froze in one spot. Her father then began castigating her, telling her to move her hips and not to be such a silent whore.
To Carol, fresh from the onslaught of puberty and a broken home, what was happening to her was just one more bad thing in the nightmare that had become her life. She refused to cooperate with her father and when she finally sank off to sleep with his heavy body still lying in a sodden heap upon her body, her dreams were fit full and strange.
The next morning when she woke, he was gone and for a few seconds Carol wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. But bringing her hand between her legs confirmed that it had all happened, indeed. She stared at the sticky, now colorless goo that was the residual of his nocturnal visit and her rage knew no expressions.
That morning at breakfast, her father appeared contrite and full of remorse. He tried to coax her into smiling, but it was all she could do to look at him. She sulked in her cabin for the rest of the voyage and the minute they landed at Le Havre ran off by herself.
It was a good month before her father found her and by then Carol had had thirty days of pleasure in the arms of Adrian, an American woman who had found her walking the streets.
Every time Carol thought of Adrian it was with a fondness she had found difficult to duplicate. But of course it had to end.
Her father seemed to size up their relationship at a glance, but Carol had met his eyes defiantly, as though daring him to press charges against this older woman that had taken care of her.
Having, however, the law on his side, it was no problem whatsoever to take Carol back to the States with him. And that was the end of Adrian. But it was only the beginning of the hold she had over her father and the terrible secret they shared.