Chapter 5
I Take Thee, Brother___
"Although I've never been stranded on a desert island I've always felt I knew what it was like to be that alone. And, like most people who lack the talent for making friends, I soon learned to give the impression that I preferred a solitary existence.
"I know that some of my shyness was due to my mother, or, more accurately, my overreac-tion to my lovely and social mother. She had that talent, that ability, and she drew people constantly. The house was always teeming with people, and a little of my excruciating shyness was born from my fear that these people would expect me to be a little bubbly carbon copy of my lively, attractive mother.
"Actually, thinking about it as a young adult, we were more alike than it appeared on the surface. It took me a long time to realize that Mother's socializing was as much a front as my pretense of enjoying my loner life. It was her way of living with the fact that she had not only left my father when I was a baby, but had allowed him to have full custody of my brother Grant.
"As I grew up I both looked forward to and dreaded the rare visits from my father and brother. I never knew how I was supposed to act, and my stiffness made it nearly impossible for my father to react warmly to me. He was a stranger to me, and I suppose I subconsciously resented him for not living with us, for taking my brother from me, and perhaps even for taking my brother over myself. He was tall and handsome, and when we saw him his eyes were mainly on my mother.
"It was different with Grant. Though my mother wanted to spend every minute with her son, Grant would search out my eyes and smile at me, and though he was only a year and a half older than me, he was like a god. I kept having the feeling that he wanted to be my friend, and one of my favorite daydreams was that Grant would come and live with us.
"Even as a kid there was something special about Grant. He was gentle and sort of quiet, and even though we looked so much alike it was scary, he was the most exotic boy I'd ever met.
I'd sit stiffly in a straight-backed chair, listening, my eyes sweeping over my brother's face, my mind racing to come up with some magical string of words which would draw my brother's handsome lips into a smile.
"Because I saw him so rarely it was easy to make Grant into a hero figure. He was the friend I never had, the companion I'd always wanted and, later, when I grew up a little, the boyfriend I was afraid to take. I'd kept so much to myself and for so long, that when the boys in school began noticing my long blonde hair, my softly curving lean body, and the face my mirror was insisting was elongating and maturing attractively, I shied away from them.
"I was sixteen when my mother swept into my bedroom after a late, mysterious date one night.
" "Tricia, I hardly know how to tell you this. I hope it will make you as happy as it's made me.' Her excited eyes searched my face, anticipating my delight. 'After all these years.... Oh, Tricia, it's too wonderful! Your father and I are going back together again! We're going to be remarried!"
"Her news left me unshaken at first. Dimly I thought back to all the times as a child I wanted a father, or needed one. I remembered a summer outing particularly, when I was eight or nine. It was one of those father-daughter things, and I was the only girl who couldn't go.
I'd pretended not to care, but it had hurt. Now I didn't feel much of a need for a father, even my own father.
"Suddenly I realized what her news meant! Grant! He'd be coming home! He'd be coming back to me! The thought of having him all to myself, having him here in this house with me.... I saw it as an ending to all the loneliness, all the sadness. I felt happier than ever before in my life.
"The next week passed so slowly that I began to be afraid it would never happen. But finally we found ourselves all dressed up and before a minister, and, like in the movies, we were a family once more.
"My father couldn't get time off for a week after the wedding, so we had several days to get settled and to sort of get used to each other. My eyes followed Grant everywhere, and he was very helpful and sweet. But there was no time to be alone, or to let a friendship develop naturally. I was looking forward to the end of the week, when our parents would take off on a three-day honeymoon and we could be alone.
"The night before our parents left the doorbell rang and a pretty girl about my age was there wanting to see Grant.
"He looked pleased as he made introductions. 'Barbara, this is my sister Tricia. Isn't she beautiful?' He grinned.
"I watched him introduce Mother to the girl, and I made my excuses and headed to my room, tears burning my eyes. My cozy little picture of Grant and myself living happily ever after was threatening to fade out. Somehow it hadn't occurred to me that Grant might have friends. Especially girl friends.
"Mother dropped into my room for a moment before leaving for the store. 'We have a few last things to pick up, Tricia. Why don't you go downstairs and watch TV with Grant and Barbara?"
"I mumbled something about a headache, but after she was gone I wondered why I didn't just make my way downstairs and see what was going on between that girl and my brother.
"I moved quietly, and they weren't aware of me standing by the door to the family room. The girl's pretty dark face was very serious and her eyes were sad as they studied my brother.
"I just don't know what's happened, Grant. All of a sudden I might as well be dead, you know? We've been going together for most of the year, and now you act like you can't quite remember who I am. I know you're excited and happy about your family getting back together and all, but that shouldn't have anything to do with us! Grant? Are you even listening to me?"
"Grant sighed and put his arm around the girl. 'Yeah, I'm listening, Barb.' But his eyes stayed on the TV screen.
"It's as if you've fallen for some other girl.... Well, at least I know one way to get your attention, Grant.' The edges of her lips turned up in a semisad little smile.
"I felt a little guilty about standing there listening to them, but a fierce jealousy kept me from either casually entering or leaving altogether. I moved back into the shadows more, confident that they couldn't see me without getting up from the couch.
"How long before your folks will be home?' Barbara asked, her fingers dropping to Grant's lap as she pushed her big tits against his chest.
"Grant lost interest in the TV immediately. 'Not for at least another hour. Maybe two. But there's Tricia....' His arm slid around her small waist.
"Barbara shrugged. 'She's probably sleeping. I promise I'll keep a sharp ear out for her.... Oh, kiss me, Grant, damn it! Just kiss me...."
"I felt ice cold as I watched them kiss. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. Grant was only my brother. But I couldn't control my emotions, and as I watched them kissing, saw Grant's tongue slip into the willing girl's opened mouth, I would have been happy to shoot Barbara on the spot, like a jealous lover. I would have left then, and again gone crying to my room, but I didn't want them to know I was spying on them. So I remained motionless, and for the first time in my life I watched two people make love. The blood in my veins went from ice to steam in the next few minutes, and as much as I hated what was going on because that bitch was making love to my Grant, the most overwhelming emotion flooded my brain as I imagined myself Barbara....
"It obviously wasn't the first time for them. They knew what to do, how to move against each other. After kissing each other and touching lightly, Barbara backed away enough to get her blouse opened. She wore no bra, and the creamy mounds of her large coral-tipped breasts swayed slightly as her hands brought his up to cover them. Her tongue slipped between his parted lips as he played with her nipples. Without my being aware of when, they had eased back on the couch so that she was on her back and Grant was over her. I could clearly see her long pale legs as he inched her skirt up, and then her panties were off and slipping to the rug.
"Fascinated and weak-kneed, I watched unblinking as my brother's hand slid between those firm, sleek thighs and got lost in the dark, damp curls which covered her young slit. Barbara moaned as his fingers began rubbing her clitoris and darting into her slick hole. Her legs widened as he played with her cunt, and my own untouched pussy ached jealously.
"The whole thing might have taken only minutes, or maybe it was closer to an hour before it was over. Time had lost all meaning, and only the ache in my chest and the throbbing between my thighs meant anything at all. I watched Grant mount the girl, was able, for the briefest of instants, to see his big, thick cock before it slid up her tight, wet channel. I watched them fuck, my eyes wide and my head spinning. Like any inexperienced girl my age, I'd spent a reasonable amount of time thinking about sex, wondering what it was like, half desiring it, half fearing. But this was all so different. I hadn't anticiapted the stark sexual urgency I was feeling just from watching this act. My tender young breasts ached, swollen and stiff-nip-pled, and my virginal pussy itched to be filled, to be relieved. It was agony watching, but I knew it would be even more painful to run.
"Barbara trembled as she came, and her softly shaking body speeded up Grant's climax. He began to ram his dick in and out of her, and then he was moaning softly against her neck, his naked hips slowing.
"I stood there a minute longer, hating her, then I found the courage to back quietly down the hall. Every nerve in my body felt raw as I tiptoed up the stairs and to my room. I sat at the edge of my bed for a while, long enough to calm myself. Then I went back into the hall and, head down, I made my way to the bathroom. The dimness of the hallway matched the silence of the house, and I cried out as I bumped into Grant as he was leaving the bathroom.
"He looked startled, too. Tricia! I didn't see you! I thought you were in your room, asleep."
"I attempted to say something, but found the best I could do was look at him for a brief moment. The I turned and ran back down the hall to my room. I locked the door behind me.
"He followed me to the door and knocked lightly. 'Tricia?"
"I didn't answer, and soon he left. I knew he must have read the whole thing in my eyes, yet there was nothing to talk about. There was nothing wrong with what he had done. He was my brother, not my husband. Not my lover. My brother. Why, then, I wondered, did it hurt so badly? Why had I so desperately wanted to be that girl under his hammering body? What was wrong with me?
"I left the house the next morning when my parents left, pretending a study session at the library. All of a sudden I dreaded the long weekend before me, alone at that house with Grant. Sooner or later he might demand to know what was wrong with me, and what could I say? I also had to do some away-from-the-house thinking about what had happened the night before, once I'd finally gotten to bed.
"Standing there watching Grant and Barbara had made sinking into a restful sleep impossible. I was all body, in that bed, all physical, a mass of working hormones and emotions. I kept reliving what had happened, and those long mo- ments with Grant dipping in and out of the girl's body with his long, hard cock made me toss and turn restlessly on the bed. Unable to stand it any longer, I slipped a hand down to the insides of my thighs, pushing the nightgown up and out of the way. It was agonizing, this feeling in me. I had to find relief, somehow.
"Like most girls, I guess, I'd explored my own body any number of times. I knew about masturbating, had read about it and heard others talking about it, but I'd never been able to do more than irritate myself before. All the rubbing ever did was make me more tense, so I hadn't played around like that for years.
"I slid a finger up the crack of my cunt. The heat and wetness there surprised me, and I found my stiffened, overly sensitive clitoris immediately. The small organ was slippery and throbbing, and my finger felt good against it.
"I closed my eyes and thought of the way Grant had rubbed Barbara's pussy, working his thumb over her stiff button, then down into her slippery cunt. I did the same to myself, pretending it was Grant's finger. I felt loose and hot, and it was easy to pretend. Soon I was moving around on the bed, my fingers digging into my cunt, my acutely alerted body responding to every touch, every thought. I dipped my forefinger into my juicing hole and got it good and wet, then I began to tickle my little clit with it. The other times I'd attempted to make myself come
I'd been kind of undirected and unaware, playing but not really having to go anywhere. It was different this time. I knew I had to finish myself off. There would be no chance of getting any rest otherwise.
"It was also easy to hold the image of Grant over me. I could almost feel him in bed with me, could very nearly feel his hands on my naked flesh. I could feel the tension building in my body, and soon I was moaning softly as a wave of feeling, much like a suddenly fanned fire, swept up my thighs and into the mouth of my womb. I was whimpering into my balled fist as I came, and my nipples felt as if they might explode from the wonderful pressure. I was hurled back to earth with a furious impact, but by then I was too exhausted to do more than go a little numb at the thought of who my dream-lover had been. And then it was too late, even for that. I was sinking into the deepest sleep I'd ever known....
"I did go to the library the next morning, but only because I could think of nowhere else to go. For once I deeply wished I had some girl friend to go to, someone who could help me pass the hours. As much as I'd looked forward to this time alone with Grant before, I now feared it.
"No book could hold my interest, and soon I began to wonder why I'd come. I began to review the situation calmly. All that had actually happened was that I had witnessed my own brother making love to a girl friend. Since I'd had so little of Grant all my life I'd simply taken him out of the brother category and made him into a big hero. I loved him and I wanted all of him to myself for a while, and it wasn't that strange that I'd resent a girl friend popping up from nowhere and taking his mind off of me. And, after what I'd seen, why was it so amazing that I'd throw Grant into my little sexual fantasy? Who else should be in it, Richard Burton?
"I began to calm down as I thought about it. I had no reason to make a big deal out of it. Nor was there any reason to make Grant uncomfortable. Avoiding him last night had been a stupid, little-girl game. I would go home, make us some lunch, and get right down to the business of getting to know each other. If he asked about my weirdo bit the night before, I'd simply make up some story of not feeling too well. Relieved, I returned the books I'd borrowed and started home.
"Lunch ceased to be a problem. It was already made by the time I got there, thick golden pancakes dripping with homemade syrup, big straight-up eggs and a pot of bubbling black coffee. But most of the bubbling was being done by Barbara. She looked really cute with an oversized apron around her flat stomach.. Grant was already eating.
"Better grab some before your big brother does 'em all in, Tricia.' Barbara put a plate in front of me. She poured us all coffee, then sat down.
"I didn't have much of an appetite any longer, but I was also annoyed at myself for reacting this way. Grant was entitled to have girl friends. I wasn't his guardian. I forced myself to eat a pancake though it was tasteless in my mouth.
"Barbara did most of the talking. From time to time I'd look up and find Grant's eyes on me, probing. Finally I couldn't take any more of it, and I excused myself, saying I had to take a bath and do my hair.
"I gave myself another furious talking-to as I bathed. I took some of my anger out on my own flesh, wiping at it furiously with a soapy washcloth. I had to stop this jealous bit. It was insane. I had to grow up and stop having sick fantasies. I had to control myself!
"Still damp but wrapped in a big Turkish towel I finally left the bathroom feeling a little better. I had almost made it to my room when Grant's voice stopped me. I turned slowly, my fingers holding the towel closed around me.
"I want to talk to you, Tricia.' His deep blue eyes dropped to the edge of my towel, at the deep swelling of my naked breasts beneath the towel.
"Is Barbara gone?' I asked, not really caring at the moment, just needing something to say. Somehow I knew what Grant would ask.
"He nodded. 'Listen, Tricia, did you.. . ? I mean, were you downstairs? Last night? While -while Barbara.... When we were...."
"I stood there staring at him, feeling very naked and somehow kind of daring. 'While you were making love?' My voice was a whisper.
"Yes.' It was as if a trance had come over both of us, a blotting mist that made everything that could happen a dream. His hand came up and began to rub my arm and shoulder, and the nipple of the breast nearest his hand began to harden. 'When I saw you later, by the bathroom, you looked ... upset. Maybe even ... jealous-----"
"My eyes longed to close, to complete the dream impression. My throat felt dry. 'What would you say if I said I was?"
"He stepped a shade closer to my nearly nude body and I knew he was going to kiss me. I raised my face for his lips. His low voice was very distinct. 'I would say that I was glad.. .."
"And then he was kissing me...."
The final case in this study: the case of Tricia and Grant A------. Is it a psychopathological phenomenon? an illegal, if not a criminal, act? a travesty on morals? or a tender love story? What kind of answer can one give after having studied the inbreeding of the Egyptians in the times of the pharaohs, of the Romans in the times of the emperors, of the Chinese, of the Christians? What can one say after "everything that has been said on the subject of incest" by the fathers of the Church, by Krafft-Ebing, by Freud, and by all the modern psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, moralists, and ethicists? If one considers the lack of agreement rampant on the subject of incest from one school of thought to the next, one can say more or less anything one feels like saying. In short, depending on one's point of view, it could be said that the case at hand is anything from "a psycho-pathological phenomenon" to "a tender love story." And one can find "supporting evidence," regardless of what attitude is taken.
Krafft-Ebing covers one point of view, at least, if not three. In his Psychopathia Sexu-alis, he wrote:
The preservation of the moral purity of family life is a product of civilization; and feelings of intense displeasure arise in an ethically intact man at thought of lustful feeling toward a member of the same family. Only great sensuality and defective ideas of laws and morals can lead to incest.
And subsequently, in the same work:
As a decidedly pathological phenomenon, the author has found incest in states of congenital and acquired mental weakness, and infrequently in cases of epilepsy and paranoia.
A diametrically opposite point of view is taken by Samuel G. Kling in his comprehensive work titled Sexual Behavior and the Law. He goes about it in a circuitous manner that defies contradiction. He states that "incest is [a] crime." Then he poses questions: Is it true that children of close relatives inherit their parents' poorest traits in multiple form? Is there any scientific evidence that first-cousin marriages are intrinsically evil? Is it true that royal families which tend to intermarry tend to degenerate? And answers them all with a straightforward: No. But he does not end his presentation there; he goes on to answer a charged question, specifically: If there is little science to support the notion that inbreeding is harmful, what is the explanation for condemnation? with the words:
The explanations for the condemnation of so-called incestuous marriages are rooted more in religion, fear, and superstition than in modern science. The most plausible of all explanations is that allowance of incestuous relations between mother and son, father and daughter, and brother and sister, would disrupt the unity of the family, and on these grounds, and on these alone, there is logic for the present condemnatory attitudes....
With the preceding possible attitudes toward an incestuous affair being presented, one could
-after studying the balance of Tricia A------'s case-classify the tryst between her and her brother Grant as "an illegal and psychopatho-logical love story." This classification is forced upon any objective student of the case by the circumstances, the development, and the resolution of the case.
The circumstances were obviously the introverted nature of the subject's personality, the separation of her parents, the subsequent reunion of the latter, and the almost inevitable urge on her part to emerge from the confinement of loneliness within which she had become immersed. The development of the incestuous drive was, under the circumstances, understandable. In the beginning, there was no one in whom Tricia would confide, but her brother. The sexual urge was not recognized at first, and when it was finally recognized as such by her, she was powerless to do anything about it. She became, in fact, obsessed with the idea of making love to her brother. The analysis of the psy-chopathology of this situation requires much more space than is available here, and much more information on the subject than is given. The balance of Tricia's narrative indicates strong emotional involvement with her brother; in fact, this emotional involvement was a strong urge to have, and keep, what she, in her juvenile state, wanted. Her desire to maintain the incestuous relationship after the affair was consummated was where psychopathology came in.
"In the brief instant before my arms went up around him and I was returning his kiss fully, passionately, I wondered if this was a sudden and passing emotion he was feeling, or if he had been thinking of me in the way I'd been thinking of him. Not that it really mattered. All I cared about deep down, where I was hungry, was that my beloved brother Grant was kissing me. I could feel the towel slipping to the floor and that didn't matter either. I was in his arms naked, and right or wrong our bodies needed each other.
"His body urged me back into my room, and soon we were on my bed together. His breath was hot and tasted faintly sweet, a lingering taste of pancake syrup and butter. His hands were strong on my breasts, testimony of a boyish brutality that made his passion seem stronger than that of a full-grown man.
"I didn't mind, though. It seemed like he couldn't touch me hard enough, intimately enough. I wanted him close against me.
" Tricia . . . Tricia, honey___ I ... I shouldn't be doing this to you.. . .' He kissed my neck and held me very closely. Through his pants I could feel his cock, stiff and swollen.
"His pained words got to me. My face red with passion and bravery, I fittedmy mouth to his ear and whispered urgently, 'Please! I want you to, Grant. All my life I've wanted you! Yes, I saw you with Barbara, and I wanted to be in her place so badly. Love me, Grant, because I love you so much...."
"It was more than he could take. His strong arms tightened around me, then went to work on his clothing. In a minute we were both naked on the bed. He climbed over me and looked down, studying every bare inch.
"Beautiful tits... . You have the most beautiful pair of tits, Tricia.... You're so pretty, honey.... All over...."
"I let him look, glad that he liked me, ecstatic that we had two days before us, whole, unbroken days and nights to love each other without interruption.
"Grant's hand grabbed mine and brought it down to his throbbing, straining cock as his other hand began to creep between my own naked legs. I held my breath as a sunburst of desire shattered within me. I held him tightly, marveling at his masculinity and at what we were about to do to each other when I heard the sudden gasp of air. It took another split second to realize the sound came from neither of us.
"The look of horror on Barbara's face was good enough for an Oscar. She stood over us like some avenging angel, and a sudden picture of how it looked from her point of view flashed through my mind. From nowhere the word incest crossed my thoughts, and it read like the dirtiest word in the dictionary.
"Grant was off the bed and halfway to the girl before I had more than enough time to realize that she was actually there. 'Barbara!"
"She turned and ran into the hall. He caught up with her just as she was about to'start down the stairs. Dumbly I walked to the door and picked up my towel. Out of habit I wound it around my shivering body.
"Get your hands off me, you son-of-a-bitch!' Barbara tried to push him away. He pulled her against his naked body, whispered something in her ear, and kissed her urgently on the mouth. At first the girl struggled a little, then she reluctantly let him kiss and whisper to her. I had no idea of what he could possibly be saying to her, but I suspected that he knew that she would like to believe things weren't quite as they seemed. Finally they began to walk towards Grant's bedroom. As he opened the door and let her enter first my brother shot me a glance. His eyes told me what I already knew that it would be very bad if Barbara were allowed to tell what she'd seen, that this was the only way he knew to shut her up, and that he'd much rather be with me.... I sank into my room, locked the door and cried like a little girl.
"Later that afternoon, while Barbara was taking a bath, Grant came to my door to try to talk. I couldn't talk to him, though. I was too mixed up, and the horror of what we were doing from Barbara's point of view, which was the world's point of view, was more than I could stand at the moment. I told Grant I never wanted to see him alone again, and refused to open the door.
"Barbara stayed the rest of the weekend, and by the time my parents had returned from their little honeymoon she was ready to announce their plans for getting married. My father was furious.
"That's insane! You're only kids. Grant, I thought you had more sense than to...."
"Barbara interrupted him coolly. 'I'm pregnant, Mr. A------. It's for the best, really. For all of us."
"I sat there in shock, hearing all this, unable to tell what was real from what wasn't. Was Barbara really pregnant, or was marrying her the price Grant had to pay to keep secret what we had been doing on my bed?
"Barbara worked full time, and Grant had worked part time for a few years and had saved a little money. They got married quietly during the week, moved into a tiny apartment, and a week later Grant announced that he was joining the Navy. His eyes tried to make contact with mine as he told us his plans, but I avoided looking at him. If all this was happening as a result from our attempt at loving, I was directly to blame for the entire thing, and I couldn't stand the thought....
"Grant was gone then, and I didn't see him at all for months, and then only briefly. He tried to get me to meet him alone, but I couldn't. Barbara had claimed to have had a miscarriage, but she was again pregnant, and I was careful to keep away from Grant until he was gone again.
"I graduated high school and went to a college across the state. I'd made a determination to leave my old painfully shy self behind with this move, and I forced myself to accept dates and fake an ease in social situations. It turned out that playing 'as if,' that is, pretending I could easily mix with my peers, worked-soon I was reasonably comfortable wih people, and dates were fairly comfortable, too.
"The third man I dated turned out to remind me a little of Grant, and even as I dressed for our date I guessed that I was going to let this one make love to me. It had been a long time since that day on my bed, and I was tired of being a girl. Though my thoughts and feelings were still centered around my brother, I knew it was time to put an end to all those fantasies. I knew that Grant and Barbara were having their troubles, in spite of their adorable baby girl. But that could no longer be my problem. I had to get Grant out of my system, once and for all.
"Scott had the same curling blond hair and deep blue eyes, and he seemed like a logical candidate for my purposes. We were going dining and dancing at a club which was known to the students for the no-questions-asked rentals of the motel which was part of the bar and grill, and I knew it was Scott's hope that I would be willing to give the place a complete try-out.
"I'd gone out with Scott several times, and if his main attraction was his resemblance to Grant, well, there was no reason why I couldn't use that to my own advantage. I waited until we were dancing our last dance to tell him, though. 'Why don't you rent us a room, Scott?"
"The rooms were known more for privacy than style, and we didn't keep the light on very long, anyway. I was a little stiff in Scott's arms, but I supposed that was to be expected for the first time. I pushed away the memory of how loose and willing I'd been with Grant. I'd only been a kid at the time. What had I known?
"Scott knew he was the first and he took pains to go slowly, to be exciting and gentle. He kissed my body all over, lovingly, pausing long enough to tell me how beautiful I was. He took my nipples into his mouth and sucked them long and lovingly, coaxing them into stiffness. He worked his face down between my thighs and slipped his tongue into my cunt. He worked on my clitoris until I had no choice but to respond, only my responses were on a purely body level. I was ready by the time he mounted me, and it felt good, his sliding into me. His cock wasn't as big as I remembered Grant's as being, but it still felt good. Slowly I learned how to move with him, and I was able to slide fairly effortlessly into an orgasm that first time.
"I came away from that experience fairly pleased on one level, and deeply disturbed on another. The physical side was okay, the sex itself, but I could still remember how it had felt with Grant, and I was worried that nothing again would ever quite match it, that I would never be able to feel for anyone the thing that I had felt for my brother.
"I had a pretty social year after that. I suppose that part of the furious dating I was doing had something to do with a crazy attempt to find someone who would move me to those heights I'd had with Grant that one brief afternoon. But it was never anything like that, though I learned a lot and came to appreciate sex as a magnificent body release.
"It was during the spring holidays of my senior year that I saw Grant again. I'd been home two days, and I'd gone to see Barbara in the afternoon of the second day. I wanted to see my lovely little niece, but I still wasn't ready to see Grant. Barbara was surprised I didn't know that they were separated.
"She made me a cup of coffee and seemed to deliberate before speaking. 'I made a terrible mistake five years ago, Tricia. I've never talked to anyone about it, but I think it's time.' She studied my face then took a sip of her own coffee. 'I'm not very sophisticated, honey, but I do know that many of the things most people say are evil or unnatural just aren't always that simple. When I saw you and Grant on that bed.. . ."
"Please, Barbara, I don't want to talk about...."
"I think we'd better, Tricia.' Her voice was soft but firm. 'I made Grant marry me, Tricia. I wasn't pregnant. I just knew I had him over a barrel, and I didn't care. I was a stupid little kid. .I just want you to know that he loved you then and I think he loves you now, and in spite of the names other people give relationships like that, I'd go to him if I were you. If you still feel the same way about him, that is. Sure, it couldn't be anything close to an ideal relationship, I know that, but I don't think there will ever be anyone else for Grant. He was kind to me, Tricia, in spite of what I did to him, and I think he tried to love me. But he lived with you in his head and heart day after day, and I finally had to face up to it."
"I got up quickly, upsetting the coffee cup. 'I don't want to hear it, Barbara. I don't want to hear it! I'm just not interested!' I grabbed my purse and ran from there.
"Finding an excuse to cut my vacation short was easy, but Grant appeared before I'd left. He looked even handsomer than ever in his expensive business suit, and I found myself longing to be in his arms, however briefly. Startled by those feelings, I barely talked to him and managed not to let him get me alone, not even at the airport.
"I returned to school depressed and insecure. I gave some thought to accepting a date and trashing out my frustrations on some mattress somewhere, but I didn't really want that, either. The campus was nearly empty and very silent, and I jumped when my doorbell rang. I opened it without thinking.
"Good day, madam. I'm working my way through college-quite literally-and thought you might like to...."
"I couldn't help grinning a little. Then I sobered. 'What are you doing here, Grant?"
"He shrugged and walked past me, leaving me at the opened door like an idiot. I slammed the door and turned to face him, aware that my heart was racing and my fingers trembling.
"I thought it all out and decided if you won't talk to me at home you might be willing to talk to me here. You were always running back here, and now that you're already here, where can you run to?' He smiled. 'Come on, baby, we've got to find out, you know?"
"'Find out what?"
"If we still feel the same way. And, if so, if we can wear it off a little...."
"He had rented a motel by the shore, a pretty little cabin off by itself. I was there before giving myself time to question the validity of his point. I was there because I wanted to be there....
"We swam first, our eyes needling each other. Then we ate a light meal and walked hand in hand to the motel. Strangely there was little anticipatory nervousness or tension. This was a date long overdue and we both knew it.
"It was wonderful to be in his arms again. We kissed deeply and happily, then undressed each other. His hands were more gentle than I'd remembered, and they touched every bit of me, lingering over my hard-nippled tits and between my legs. He fingered me for a while, commenting a touch sadly on my nonvirginal state. But even that was good, because in a way that was another sign that we'd each grown up.
"His cock was as wonderfully long and thick as I'd remembered, and I leaned over and kissed it sweetly. Then, lovingly, I sucked it into the deep wet cave of my mouth, and I made the most of showing my brother just how much I'd learned at college. His dick responded by hard- ening another impossible inch, and I ran my tongue over it until he was moaning with pleasure. Instead of taking it out, though, he simply reversed his position and soon his face was lodged between my thighs, and we were sucking each other. I trembled violently under the assault of his skilled tongue, and finally we were groaning out our orgasms, his hot eome spurting into my mouth and down my throat as my cunt spasmed violently from his lapping tongue.
"We rested briefly, holding each other and touching each other's bodies. I ran a finger up over his stiffening cock, encircled his big balls and poked between the cheeks of his ass. He caught the hand and made it play with his cock, and soon he was on top of me, prepared for a nice, long fuck.
"I gasped as he entered me. It was like finally hearing the end to a long-awaited story, and I was alerted to get the most out of each inch of him. It seemed the same for him-, as if he, too, wanted this continuation to be perfect in all respects. He began to fuck me slowly, moving his stick around in me, letting me feel it before ramming me with it. He knew what to do, and I seemed to have a knowledge of just how to please him, too.
"It was beautiful, that fuck, and it was all the more beautiful because it was actually Grant's face I was looking up into, and not a near likeness of Grant. I kissed him over and over as we fucked, and when we finally came it was perfect. He dug into me further than anyone ever had, and my inner muscles knew just how to milk the last creamy drops from his balls. By the time we finally fell free of each other it was time for sleep.
"We awakened early in the morning, and it was the most natural thing in the world to fuck. This time we were even able to tease each other a little while we were doing it.
"The day was wonderful. We swam, saw an art exhibit in the afternoon, went back to the motel, and played on the bed for a while, licking and sucking each other, and making each other come. When we'd had enough of that we dressed and went out for a thick steak. Then we returned to the motel for some serious fucking. Maybe it was because we were brother and sister, but we were perfectly matched, and both of lis were finally willing to call it quits just before morning.
"By the time we woke it was nearly time for Grant to take his plane back so that he could be at work on time. We dressed and kissed and debated about going back to the sack for one more round of loving, but the clock convinced us it really wasn't wise.
"We walked around the terminal hand in hand, eating hot dogs and feeling like little kids again. Warmly we made plans about another weekend really soon, and though I knew there would be that weekend and probably many more, it had lost that edge of urgency I'd carried for so many years. Not that we loved each other less, or anything, but now that we'd finished what we'd started so long ago, we no longer had to magnify the importance of our attraction for each other. As I waved to him as he boarded the plane I suspected that I was going to find that I liked sex with other men even more than I had, and I wondered if Grant wouldn't find Barbara more attractive once again.. . .
"Leaving the airport with the wind whipping through my hair, I noticed it was the start of a beautiful night...."
There were, according to additional information obtained from the subject, two more meetings of a similar nature between her and her brother. After that, Tricia met another man, and fell in love with him; Grant, meanwhile was taken back by his wife Barbara.