Chapter 4
Young Deer and Little Flame
"If I had not fled upward from Supai, where I came to life many thunders ago; if I had not taken on the ways of haigu-white man; if I had not angered Tochopa, who led us into Havasu before haigu came to be and who had made Hue-pu-keh-eh and Hue-gli-i-wa into red stone pillars as warning to us to remain forever in our canyon, I would not have entered Little Flame, my father's daughter; I would not have taken Little Flame to the edge of sipapu of Hopi that swallowed her into darkness of ice, and I would not have to tell it to haigu head-medicine man. Now I am afraid. I am Young Deer Who Is Scorpion Who Is Hare. But I will speak all. About Little Flame and Young Deer.
"Little Flame and I came to life in the village of Supai where Tochopa makes gardens grow, makes water run clean out of rock, and keeps his promise to good Havasupai. That is the belief of Lemuel Paya, elder of village, and many others cf Supai tribe. But I heard of many other beliefs from above, from haigu who came to stay in Supai village in Havasu that is an arm of what haigu call Grand Canyon in which the Big Water flows. I heard many times the thunder of their great metal birds, jet planes, as they flew like arrow-eagles high above the cliffs of Havasu, high above the heads of Hue-pu-keh-eh and Hue-gli-i-wa. And until I was fifteen, I listened to Lemuel Paya tell how you find deer by putting two small white stones in your cheeks and begin to sing, how you find a stone inside a deer and keep it in your pocket and it charms other deer; I also heard him sing and ask Tochopa to let him shoot fat deer.
"But Lemuel Paya also spoke of the wonders of haigu, for he had gone up to their land high above Havasu and away from it and had come down. He said it was a world of many wonderful things and of many frightening things and of many things the Supai should not look upon because they would not understand them and because those things were evil even when they were good. I asked him once if it was like the moving pictures haigu showed us once a week in the village. I asked him if haigu were killing all Indians-the Hualapai and Havasupai, the Hopi and the Navajo, and the Apache, too-and it he saw Jim Thorpe. And he. said no. He said it was not like in the moving pictures anymore. He said haigu were not like in the moving pictures, but he did not explain.
"So until I was sixteen, I looked up the Havasu Canyon, to the red cliffs beyond which the strange and secret land of haigu lay, and I wanted to go there to see if it was all true. I told Little Flame, who was thirteen, that one day I would go up the trail down which haigu came to us and I would learn the wonderful ways of haigu and maybe I would become a haigu myself. Little Flame laughed at me when I said it. Then she started asking me often: 'When, Young Deer? When will you go?' And then she was telling me: 'Young Deer, you will take me with you. I want to come with you.' And I would shake my head and tell her that she was too little, that I would go myself and then I would send for her. And Little Flame would clap her hands and tell me to promise. I told her I promise, but she must not tell anyone about it.. ..
"It was spring when I climbed up toward the blue sky of an early morning to Hilltop where the land of haigu began. It was many paces and I rested many times, watching rock squirrels and little lizards and birds feathered in blue with brown breasts and great blue herons flying down to the clear pools at the bottom of falling waters, three of which are below Supai village. I passed some haigu on way down-some walking tired, some riding horse, but not like in moving pictures.
"I was walking on my shadow, the sun was high, when I came to a place that was no longer going up, and there were no more walls of stone around me, and I looked back down. It was first time I felt great fear of Tochopa. Havasu was green jewel with blue lines and red rocks standing silent long way below my feet, and I had deaf ears for I could not bear the waters of Havasu running to Colorado-Big Water Deep Down in Earth. And when I looked around, I saw much sky. I could see sky looking straight in front of me in all directions... .
"And cars. Many cars. Many cars for me who had not seen cars. Small and not so small and big, and of many colors and shapes. There were haigu there also. I did not know what to do. So I walked on wide trail south. Many cars passed me going away and coming. I had to move fast off the trail, for they did not look like they were going to stop. I tried to look at the faces of the haigu driving them; most of them had a look of warpaint on them.
"I don't know how far I walked when I heard a loud noise behind me, like of a yelling sound but not human. Later I learned it was the sound of car wanting you to know something. Horn. I moved off the trail, but the car-big and tall- did not pass me. A haigu with much hair cm. his head and his face that was laughing yelled to me if I was going to Seligman. I said yes. Then he opened the side of the car for me and told me he would take me there. I did not know where Seligman was. But I said, yes, I was going to Seligman....
"Later, in the many days and nights of next three months, I had told haigu who stopped for me, yes, I was going to Kingman; yes, I was going to Needles; yes, I was going to Barstow; and yes, I was going to Los Angeles. And I started to learn the ways of haigu on the path from Hilltop to Seligman, in the big and tall car. And the ways of haigu were not the ways of Supai. They were ways that made your body feel good, but your soul feel the feelings of a snake crawling on its belly....
"That first day, before the sun give the sky up to the stars, I lay on the young female haigu who was in the V and W bus-car and who was friend of the haigu with much hair on head and face. Her name was Dianna, and she also, like Young Deer, was sixteen summers old.... But she was much older in other ways.
"It was first time I entered female, but I know it was not first time Dianna was entered. Much Hair on Head and Face-he entered her first, after doing things to her with his fingers I had never seen before, but which I watched. Hy- man-that was the name of Much Hair-told me to watch. And Dianna with long gold hair wanted me to watch, and she told me that I could do to her like Hyman later. It was a strange way, I thought. And three months with the haigu told me it was their way.
"At first, when I entered the V and W bus, I did not know there was another person in it. Then I heard a voice like little water say, 'Hello, little Injun!' It came from behind. I looked back and saw Dianna. I know right away it was Dianna because hairy man driving said to me, 'That is Dianna. She cooks good and she does other things good.' I said 'Hello, Dianna.' And she asked, 'You run away from home?' To which I do not say nothing, but man driving, he say, 'I'm Hyman. Dianna there, she run away from home. She tired of being treated like animal."
"I said, 'Yes, I run away, but I was not treated like animal. I run away to learn ways of haigu."
"Dianna, she say: 'Who haigu?' "I say, 'You haigu, Hyman haigu.' "Dianna laugh. She has laugh like a bell. She very pretty, although too much nose, not like Supai. I mean, she has too much nose in front, not sideways. But she moves her body in that way that make me forget her nose is too much. She is wearing pants like Hyman, blue, tight. Not like mine-too big. She also wear shirt with not enough buttons. I see skin down middle-down far. She catches my eyes. She says, 'Hey, you're cute. What's your name?' "Young Deer,' I tell her. "She ask, 'You have a girl friend?' "I think, then say, 'No, I have sister. Little
Flame."
"Then Dianna, she ask, 'You fuck Little
Flame?"
"The question made me feel strange in many ways I not felt before. It made me feel cold in the heart, hot in the body, and made my mind go around and the world go around in my eyes. I could not answer Dianna. It was a question never asked by Supai. It was a haigu way. But Dianna asked it me again. She laugh and say, 'Come on, Young Deer, you have made it with your sister, haven't you?"
"Hyman, he looked back. I saw him make one quick shut-eye. Then he asked Dianna, 'After me, okay?"
"I did not understand then, but I soon understand. As much as I can. Which is not much. It does not make sense.
"For a while, there is no more talking. Hyman makes V and W go with the speed of deer running from fire. He makes much dust behind. The sun is setting on the hand that draws the bowstring. Then Hyman makes car go off path and away from road. He stops. He gets out, then he gets inside in back through side of car. I hear Dianna laugh, then I hear Hyman say, 'Young Deer, watch how white man fucks."
"I do not want to look, but I turn.
"I feel flames rise around my body; they burn my head. I feel myself becoming like rock at what I see. It is something I never see before open. I have seen man lie on woman; I have heard man and woman make sounds like wild mountain lion and female coyote. But in Hava-su-two, maybe three times it happen-I saw and heard by accident, and I forced myself to leave fast, because it was a doing that was of the heart of man and woman who want to be alone in the making of their love. In the village only dogs do it in the open because they are dogs....
"But I looked at Hyman and I looked at Dianna, and the more I looked the more I feel the flames inside my body. I can not see well because darkness is coming outside. I must show this because my eyes grow thin and Dianna she must see this because she say, 'Hyman, turn on light. Little Injun can't see everything.' So Hyman make light in darkness of inside of V and W. And I see everything like fish in the waters of Havasu Creek.
"Dianna of the golden hair, she is no longer wearing long blue pants. She only has on- panties, I learn. White like snow lying on the ground, and white like snow falling through the air. She is lying very close to where I am sitting turned and looking at her between the legs that she is facing me with. I can stretch my arm and place my hand on shadow of gold that I can see through falling-snow white. And also on the sides where the fine cover is not enough covering. There are golden hairs. Her panties are so fine I can even see the line of pinkness, only then Hyman makes with his hand like a snake and moves it from top down under Dian-na's panties, and I see his fingers covering the gold and one finger moving up and down the line of pinkness that grows wider and opening with darker pinkness in the middle like a spring flower that rain has fallen on. And she is moving with the movement of snake, only slow, and with a feeling not that of a snake. And Hyman is looking at his hand stroking Dianna's golden fur with the wet pink sliver.
"I hear him gasping like there is not enough air in the V and W. I look up toward Dianna's head, and I see why he has not enough air. Dianna has his large hardness in her hand and she is doing with it like I often do with mine in the village when there is darkness or when I am alone in the trees and I think of young Supai girls I seen naked sometimes. Hyman's hardness is largest I ever seen. It is almost too big for Dianna of the golden hair to place her hand all around, and it is long almost three times as Dianna's hand is wide.
"I have a feeling like I am looking into the eyes of a snake that is turning me into stone. I move my hand to my own hardness moving in my wide pants. I feel it through the coarse cloth and wrap my hand around it. My eyes are like hummingbird, they move to what Hyman's hand is doing between Dianna's legs, then to what Dianna's hand is doing with Hyman's hardness rising out of the opening in front of Hyman's pants. I see suddenly Hyman's hand has only four fingers, and Dianna is moving like a mule that is angered, only Dianna is not angered I know. It is because Hyman has one finger inside Dianna and he is moving it with quickness in and out, in and out, and Dianna is liking it very much. And when I look up to Dianna's hand, I see it is moving with quickness also, and her other hand it is inside the opening of Hyman's pants and it is squeezing what must be the sack of life that I do not see.
"And then they start talking, much that I do not understand, had never heard.
"Hyman says: 'For a sixteen-year-old, you sure have a wild little pussy.' He is still panting, more now.
"And Dianna says: 'I just love your big cock.' And she calls him Daddy-o, which I also do not understand.
"And Hyman says: 'Are you going to suck it for me, Dianna?"
"And Dianna, she says: 'I don't know. I want to suck and I want to have it deep inside me-
spitting, filling my pussy-making me come.' "All this talking, even though I do not understand some of the words at the time, makes me move my hand faster and faster on my hardness. I wonder maybe I should take it out of my pants because I do not want to soil them, but I also am afraid I soil inside of the V and W in the front.
"Then I hear Hyman. He says: 'You can get both, Dianna,' And they suddenly stop their movings. I see Dianna, with her face looking like the pinkness between her legs, is no longer looking at the large hardness of Hyman in her small hand. She is looking at me, and she is smiling. And Hyman, he is looking at me also.
"I move my hand off my own hardness in my pants. I feel much pleasure there, but I also feel shame and something stronger than shame that feels different, because the looks of the haigu in the V and W promise something good that I had never felt before. Then suddenly Dianna is not lying back but she is sitting up and her hand is moving to me and is holding the hardness that becomes even harder between my legs. I hear myself make a choking noise. And Dianna's hand is squeezing the hardness that is mine and she is licking her lips with her small and sharp like a snake's tongue, and she is saying: 'Yum-yum.' And Hyman is laughing and sitting up also.
"Come on back here,' Hyman says, and
Dianna is pulling me by what she is holding and her hand feels good even through my pants and I feel I will not have enough air, too.
"I climb over the back of the seat and stand on my knees in front of Dianna, and I don't know where Hyman is because Dianna is making with both hands to take my pants off. I feel my heart grow soft as my hardness gets bigger. I look at Dianna as she is pulling my pants down, and I take her hair of gold in my dark hand and I say: 'You are beautiful."
"And then I feel her hand on my hardness, and I look down to see that I am not any longer dressed except that I have the shirt on, and Dianna is looking down at my hardness in her hand and she is making the skin move backward and forward; she is making like a cup with the other hand and is holding my hanging sack in it and she is saying: 'You've got a doll of a piece of meat there, Little Injun."
"I say: 'Deer."
"She say: 'What?"
"I say: 'Young Deer."
"Dianna say: 'Young Deer ever get sucked off?"
"I make with my head no.
"Then Hyman is saying: 'Come on, baby. My hard on is getting impatient. It wants into your little pussy."
"Dianna is still moving her hand on my-I now know-hard on. 'Hold your hosses, Daddy- o,' she says. Then asks me: 'Has any girl ever jacked you off before?"
"I don't understand. She moves her hand faster and makes with squeezing fingers and says: 'I'm jacking you off now, Little Deer."
"I see she can not make right with my name, but it does not matter. I say: 'No, you first."
"Do you like it?' And she lets go.
"I make quick movement forward with my hardness. I say with quickness: 'Yes, don't, stop."
"Dianna laughs and says: 'I'm going to make you come in a different way, but first put Hyman's cock into my pussy.' And she lies down on her back, makes her legs fall apart, and I see that she no longer had the covering of her panties. I see hair-face Hyman move on his knees between Dianna's legs, which she makes go up now, holding them open with her hands, which makes the pinkness in the gold an opening with morning dew on it.
"Hyman moves closer and closer in between Dianna's legs, his hardness standing out of him far, and jumping a little, pointing to where Dianna wants to have me put it.
"I look at Hyman, and he says, 'Come on, Injun, take my cock in your hand and stab it into this hot pussy here."
"I never have done this before. I have never taken grown man hardness in hand. I have done this-taken a hardness of another, young Supai in hand-down in the village in the darkness with friend. But he and I only playing-not this. But Dianna say: 'Don't be afraid, Little Injun. Just wrap your hand around it and stick it in me.' She make a small silence, then add, 'I'll let you do it to me later."
"I move down close to where Hyman hardness is standing and Dianna's legs are spread. I put my fingers around the fatness of Hyman's hardness. It is hot to my hand. I feel life in it as I feel life in my hardness. Then I try to push the swollen end of it into Dianna. It will not go. Dianna move her legs higher and say, 'Open me with your fingers, Young Deer. Put your fingers inside me and make me wet with my juices on the outside."
"I do it. I slide my fingers like a lizard-two fingers into the wet heat. It is first time in my life I have my fingers inside female. I feel fire rising in my hard on. I feel like I am going to make with the spurting of seed, but then I feel the heat of Dianna's female hole on my fingers and I hear her moan, and then I feel cool breeze on my hot hardness. Then I feel my hardness spurting with the seed and a tremor takes my body because I feel that I am making my seed erupt into a heat that is Dianna's sucking mouth.
"The next moment much happens. I make noise like a mountain lion, and I pull fingers out of Dianna's pussy, haigu calls it, and I stab Hyman's cock, another word I learn from haigu, all the way into the open heat. And I watch like through much rain how haigu fuck. With much quickness and much making of the noise. Hyman's cock goes in and out and in and out of Dianna's mouth between her legs, making sound like stone being dropped into pool, over and over, or like feet make in mud. And Dianna is still sucking on my hardness that is not hard anymore. And she is licking it and squeezing the sack that hangs below it and making noises with her mouth like she likes everything that is happening.
"A long time Hyman fucks Dianna of the golden hair with the legs that wrap around,and then I know he is making with the spurtings of his seed inside Dianna's pussy. I know because he make gruntings like bear and he shouts, 'I'm coming, fucking little cunt! I'm filling your snatch with it, baby!' And Dianna makes my cock come out of her mouth, and she forgets I am there. She winds her arms around Hyman's neck and is panting very much and makes noises like coyote that has been hit by a rock. And they are both moving like they are running somewhere, but then they suddenly stop and look like they are of stone, and I fear a moment that Tochopa has turned them into a haigu Wigeleeva, which is another name for Hue-pu-keh-eh and Hue-gli-i-wa. But they are breathing. . . .
"It is later that Hyman comes out of Dianna. By that time my hardness between the legs is back. And Dianna sees it. 'You want to?' she asks, looking at me with her eyes that I see now are blue like little water. And she takes my hardness in her hand and pulls me to where Hyman was.
"When I lie upon her and feel her fingers putting me inside her, I do not believe it. It is like a feeling I had one time when in the village a haigu who had come down had given me some whiskey to drink. But it is a much better feeling. I think it is much better than Dianna's mouth. I feel all the way inside her and I feel her legs go around me, and I start to fuck. It is the rubbing of my hardness inside her that is so much pleasure making. It does not take long. I feel Dianna's arms and legs go tight around me like a snake that is squeezing, and she bites my ear, and says, 'Come! Come, Little Injun!' Then she screams and shudders and I move with much quickness, feeling the seed going like liquid bullets, like hot water out of the earth, and I say, 'Eh! Eh! Eh! Hanaga! Eh! Hanaga!' And then Dianna covers my mouth with her mouth and her tongue is inside my mouth and I cannot talk, and we turn to stone___
"It is darkness when Hyman opens door for me and says: 'This is it. Seligman.' I step out. I say: 'Thank you, Mr. Hyman.' He laughs, then makes the V and W with much noise and drives away with red lights that get smaller and smaller-----I take big breath. Last picture in my mind is of Dianna sleeping in back after I and she fuck.
"It is three months later that I begin to think that I fuck many haigu girls, all kinds of ways, I have haigu men and haigu girls suck me, but I make no friends. I feel like a small rock in Ha-vasu Creek. It moves over much ground over long time, getting smaller and getting nowhere...."Young Deer's case makes a strong point toward a condemnation of the direction in which the "advanced, cultured, civilized" society of the Western world appears to be heading. The condemnation is not so much of what the subject refers to as "the ways of the haigu" as the apparent purposelessness of their ways combined with the flagrantly and thoughtlessly hedonistic exploitation of man by man. It is difficult to arrive at any specific cause for this trend in modern society, but the presence of this trend as it is manifested not only through juvenile delinquency and postjuvenile crime, but through our society's egocentric life-styles, its cultural decline and political decay, can neither be denied nor concealed.
Mencius's lines, as rendered by James Legge in his The Chinese Classics, Vol. II: The Works of Mencius, "The root of the kingdom is in the state. The root of the state is in the family. The root of the family is in the person of its head,"
and Alexander Pope's lines from his Moral Essays, " Tis education forms the common mind: just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined," undeniably point at the roots of the problem. And Harrison E. Salisbury, though possibly less poetic, is specific in his analysis of the situation. In his The Shook-up Generation, he writes:
The valid question arises as to what causes delinquency in ... pleasant suburban areas. The children have all, the conventional advantages. The homes are clean, neat, stuffed with consumer goods. The schools are good. There is ample room for kids to run and play. There are no dope pushers at the local candy stores to lure girls into prostitution. The families are not broken, for the most part. How does it happen that the kids go wrong? ...
As Professor Short found in his study of middle-class families in Washington State the key factor in delinquency is not the classic broken home from which one of the parents has departed but the "psychologically broken home". . ..
In too many suburban homes the father sees little more of his children than does the alcoholic parent of the tenement family. In too many homes the mother is too busy with an eternal round of social activities to have any really warm relationship with her children. The end result is unhap-piness in the midst of plenty. Children are as emotionally starved as those in the deprived areas of the slums.
And, of course, as "birds of a feather flock together," they seek out those of similar misfortune, and, human nature being what it is, they sometimes find new "converts," that is juveniles whose grievances are not irresolvable but who, feeling that they find more in common with those other "oppressed and abandoned," dwell upon their grievances and at times even make unconscious efforts to become, through rebelliousness, "equals" with their newfound com-miserators. And with their rebelliousness being the only means at their disposal to gain in status, they rebel against the head of the family, the society, and the state, ever growing in numbers and ever broadening their methods until they create a new society. And sometimes-such as now-the form of the new society they create is disturbing.
It was, then, into this kind of a "new society" that Young Deer of the Grand Canyon Havasu-pai Indian tribe found himself cast. In this case, there is no point to dwell on the psychological reasons of why he eventually, as the balance of his case history will show, became involved in an incestuous relationship with his sister, Little Flame. As a matter of fact, psychology and psy- chiatry would be hard put to attempt explaining the development of Young Deer's case even with the catchall explanations that Freudian, Jungian, and the innumerable other "ian" schools have in their bags of tricks. Perhaps the only true analysis of Young Deer's case would have to be based on the "Rotten Apple" theory. Essentially, that theory is very simple: A rotten apple in a crateful of good apples, if left alone for a long enough time, will contaminate the good apples; a good apple in a crateful of rotten apples does not have much of a chance of remaining good.
It should be pointed out here that the narrative of Young Deer, as reproduced here, encompasses but two days of his ninety-day sojourn with what he refers to as the haigu, i. e., non-Indian segment of our population. There is no question that had he been picked up by a more desirable element of society on his first day out of the relatively staid and unsophisticated environment of Supai village, he would not have been immediately, if at all, subjected to the "domino effect" of moral decay.
The tragic irony of Young Deer's case is that although he eventually rejected the ways of that segment of the non-Indian society in which he became embroiled, he was caught in the emotional turmoil of his (natural?) hypersexuality, the beliefs of the Havasupai, guilt at having gone contrary to the life-style of a "good
Indian," and his desire to share his experiences with the haigu with someone from the village. His decision to meet, in a clandestine rendezvous, with Little Flame before withdrawing from both the white man's and his native society ("I needed time to think alone with the waters and the trees and the rocks," as he put it), does not appear to have had) any ulterior sexual motive. He claims that he could not bear to face his mother, to whom he was sure he had brought insurmountable grief by his original stealthy departure, and that he felt a meeting with his sister would serve the purpose of assuring those in the village who missed him that he was alive and well.
In retrospect, one can say that Young Deer was the victim of three cultures: the traditional culture of the Havasupai Indians, the Christian culture that had been introduced into the village-the Havasu Canyon has its own chapel and church program-and the non-Christian, non-Judeo-Christian,' if not anti-Judeo-Chris-tian culture of "the world above," i. e., the "anything goes" segment of modern society. At the same time, it should be pointed out that he was not a victim of any one of the three cultures more than of the remaining two; rather, he was victimized by the clash of the three philosophies within his confused mind, and it was this clash of "contradictory truths" that created the emotional conflict.
"There was Tochopa, I had learned from my mother, and he was a good god, and he had a daughter; there was Hokomata, and he was a very bad god. The word of haigu was that there was Jesus, son of Tochopa; they said nothing of his daughter. The Havasupai did not know of son before haigu came down and told of him and built a quonset hut in Supai village and called it 'church' and 'house of God' where the spirit of Jesus, son of Tochopa, of whom haigu had not heard until they had come down to Supai, lived on altar in bread and wine. All this I had learned in the village, but I could not understand it as truth in the world of haigu. The world of haigu, in which I moved three months, was a world full of churchs, yes. Haigu built many of them, but he lived in the world around the churches, and that world wasthe world of Hokomata. It was the world of scorpions and coyotes that did much sex and little other.
"It is true that I saw many haigu I did not know, but the haigu I was with told me those others were of 'the Establishment' and did much sex also, only they did it in darkness and when they were not doing money things. It was all out of my understanding and I made my mind to go back to the village of Supai up. I rode on haigu cars from Los Angeles to Williams with my thumb, but then fear seized me and when I came to Grand Canyon Village I did not know what to do. Then I found a Hopi man and told him of my going away to the haigu world adventures and the many pains in my chest they had brought me. He listened with the patience of an Indian, then asked me if there was any person in Supai village I wanted to talk with the most. I thought of my mother, but I feared her anger.
Then I thought of Little Flame___The old
Hopi said he would try to bring Little Flame up to his home and then I could talk with her.
"I was at the Hopi old Indian house for two weeks. I had told him I wanted to talk with Little Flame alone. He said he would see what he could do. It was after two weeks, a time in which he was gone for one week, that he told me of Little Flame coming up with another Hopi friend to talk with me. He make arrangement for us to meet at Indian Gardens halfway down to bottom of Grand Canyon...
"I met her there, below Indian Gardens, by running water. She did not know me at first because I was dressed in haigu jeans, which are pants that are tight, and white shirt and glasses of darkness. She also did not look as I remembered her; she also was dressed in haigu clothes. But I understood; it was so there would be no knowing by others who looked on who she was and who I was. She was dressed in jeans also, and in shirt. But she was sitting on rock alone like she was resting, and I was walking down trail. I did not say 'Little Flame' until I was in front of her to the side; it was then I said, 'Little Flame,' and she looked at me, and like sound of running water soft in the night, she said,'Young Deer?"
"It was when she got up from rock that I felt the urge of haigu. In village she wore large dress that did not show her shape. In haigu shirt I saw her for female, a female of my kind-a Ha-vasupai. I wanted to lie on her, and when she came to me, slowly like a shy deer, I took her in my arms and held her close and felt the hardness of my loins growing great and I knew I wanted to put the hardness in between Little Flame's legs and make it go inside her. In words of haigu, I wanted to fuck Little Flame.
"She must have felt my hardness against her, because she looked up at me, then put her small arms around to my back and said, 'Young Deer, you have become big."
"But we did not come close like that again until we came down to where the trail goes up again on the other side of the great river, what haigu calls Phantom Ranch. The old Hopi Indian of Grand Canyon Village had given me haigu money and had said he made reservations at the ranch for two and I was to tell woman there that. It was so. It was not the time of year when many haigu come down, so there were not many of them there.
"Little Flame and I had talked all the way down the Bright Angel Trail. At first she was shy, but then-after I took her hand to help her walk in some places, when she became tired- she lost that shyness. Sometimes she walked in front of me, and at those times I could not force my eyes to leave her small back that lies below the waist and that I learned from haigu is called ass. It was not full like on some haigu females I had seen and been inside of, but it was making my mouth run with water and my hardness grow in my tight jeans. And then, when I walked in front and would look back to see that Little Flame was coming, I could see the female fullness of her tits that were not large but were too large for the shirt Little Flame was wearing. Little Flame was not wearing what haigu call a brassiere, which one time after I learned from haigu another word for tits, that is boobie, I called boobie trap, which my calling made the haigu I was with at the time laugh very much. I did not understand why he laugh until he tell rfie of meaning of what I call brassiere....
"I know now that Little Flame knew that I had a strong wanting for her all the way down to Phantom Ranch, but I did not know it then, and I did not know other things about Little Flame until much later that day, and those other things made me feel things I had never felt before toward Little Flame. If I had listened to Little Flame's silence while I told her of the kind of life I had among the haigu maybe I would have heard that she was not the same
Little Flame that I had left in Supai village three months before. But I did not listen, I did not think why Little Flame did not act like she had been bitten by a scorpion while I talked. I did not tell Little Flame details of my fuck-ings with haigu females, but I made her understand that I had done much of that and that I wanted to come and talk to her and be with her more than I had wanted to fuck haigu females.
"I said Little Flame listened with silence, but she also spoke to me with the squeezing of her hand when I would give her mine to help in some places on trail. It was a squeezing of the hand not like any I had felt from any of the hai-gus; it was the hand of my own people, my friend, my sister. She was my father's daughter and she made me feel warm and away from the life of three months before.
"Shadows were making strange shapes over the walls of canyon when we crossed the great river over suspension bridge. By time we reached Phantom Ranch, it was almost full dark shadow that filled the canyon. I walked up to office window and said I had reservation cabin for two made by Hopi Indian. Woman gave me number of cabin, looking with strangeness at Little Flame, but she did not say anything. I suppose it was Little Flame's young looks that made her think-like the thought of all haigu - of fucking....
"In cabin with the canvas roof and four beds and a screen porch in front, Little Flame sat down on one of beds. I looked good at her then, standing in middle of room. She was not what haigu calls beautiful, not in the ways of the haigu. She wore no paint on her mouth and face and eyes. She had a skin of a Havasupai and eyes of deep darkness and nose that was not large in the front but a little large on sides, but she was a Havasupai and she was beautiful to me. I smiled at her, and let my eyes come down to the fullness like two hills in the front of her shirt. 'You are growing large,' I said. 'You are like a woman, Little Flame.' I smiled at her.
"She said: 'I am fourteen, Young Deer. I am large enough."
"It was a strange thing she said. I wondered at it. I also felt a heat go through my body. I looked at her hard, but still smiling. I thought then, when she said nothing more, that I misunderstood her, that I was thinking in the way haigu thinks. I said, 'It is hot and we are all sweaty. We should take a shower."
"Is there shower here?' she asked.
"I said, 'Yes.' Then I said, 'I will go find out where it is."
"I know that at that time I was already thinking of Little Flame in ways not of brother but of mating male. I do not know why. I think it was because I had been used by haigu females and males, used by those who had many times before used others, and I wanted a making of love with one who had not been used. I wanted a making of love, not a fucking....
"I found shower house down path toward office. I came back to cabin where Little Flame was still sitting on bed. 'We go to take shower,' I said.
"She looked at me. 'Together?"
"I looked at her, then walked to bed and put her head in my hands and looked into her eyes. They were deep and they were dark. 'Do you want to take shower with Young Deer?"
"She did not answer, but I saw her eyes were not sure to answer. So I brought my mouth down to her black straight hair on head and kissed it. I felt her tremble, then her arms went around my waist and she held me close. I felt my hardness growing and pressing against the softness of her front on top-her tit. I thought it would frighten her, but she did not pull away. She made her arms tighter. Her hands on my ass felt like no haigu female hands. There was a fear in her hold, like I would leave her and she did not want me to do that again.
"Then she said, 'I have no clean clothes to put on after shower."
"I said, 'Don't. I will stand outside shower after I am finished, and I will make the sound of bird when it is safe for you to come out. You come out fast and run here, where I will meet you."
"It was done that way. I went to shower, where I made my body clean with the hot water. I thought I heard the shower next door in woman's side, shower under which my sister Little Flame was standing undressed with water kissing her body. The picture in my mind made my hardness large in front of me and I put my hand around it and I moved my hand thinking of Little Flame's naked body and what it would feel like to lie on it with my cock inside her young, never-before-entered pussy. I wondered if she had hair on it. The last time I had seen it-I could not remember when-it was naked of hair and with skin puffed out on both sides of slit that was the entrance to her sex hole. I felt good as I rubbed my hard on slowly, letting good feelings grow in it until I could control the good feelings no more and my hardness made me bend over forward and rub it faster and faster. I watched my come fly out of the large smooth head like little white birds through the spray of the shower and hit the plastic curtain and then run down it slowly. And I said aloud, 'Little Flame, I am going to fuck you tonight. I am going to slide my Indian cock into your Indian pussy where it belongs and stroke inside you until I fill you with Indian life...."
"When I was finished, I stepped out into the night. It was silent in woman's shower room. I listened to the sounds of wilderness at night that I had almost forgotten in the world of haigu. It was mostly the sounds of silence. But there were also sounds of bats whistling around lights in front of row of cabins, one of which was ours. And of waters of Bright Angel Creek. And of frogs. Then I heard Little Flame at door of shower room. She said in very soft voice: 'I am ready for sound of bird, Young Deer."
"I looked around. There was no persons anywhere. I made like a bird, small bird with small voice but loud enough to be heard in shower room.
"Little Flame came out like a silent deer, holding her clothes in front of her, covering her nakedness, and moving fast through the shadows that were not many because of all the lights in front of each cabin. But she was silent, so that if anybody saw her they would have thought it was not a real motion but a shadow of a small cloud or of a large bird. Only the sound of the cabin door shutting with a slam made proof that Little Flame was real.... I had seen her small ass with shadows playing over it and I licked my lips. She was so small. I thought. She was only fourteen. Maybe I could not make loving with her. Maybe I would hurt her. But then I did not think anymore. I went slowly but much faster than I wanted to after Little Flame and into the cabin. The lights were on. Little Flame did not turn them off. I wondered if I should, but I didn't. I let them make light. And I looked at Little Flame sitting naked on the bed in right-hand corner.
She had her clothes lying in her lap, covering that what I wanted so much. But her tits were not covered. And her skin was a hotter color. From the shower I knew, and maybe from other things I thought.
"I did not have my shirt on. I had it in my hand. I threw it on an empty bed. Little Flame followed its flight with her eyes then looked back at my hands. There was some fear in her look, so I smiled and said, 'We go to bed now, Little Flame. You are tired from long walk.' Then I brought my hands up to front of my jeans. I unsnapped the top and pulled down the zipper.
"I saw Little Flame's mouth open and her eyes fix on my fly. I let my jeans come off my legs. I had to tug them because they were tight and my hardness was making them tighter. I was glad I had taken my boots off before going to shower. Now I stood across room from Little Flame in only my shorts. My hardness was pushing them out in front of me far. And Little Flame was looking at it and her tongue was moving quick over her lips. Then she raised her hand from her lap and the clothes that were covering her before were not covering her anymore. They were lying on the bed next to her. And I saw that there was hair between her legs where her pussy was, and the hair was black like on her head, only not so thick. It was not like any of the other pussy I had up in the world of the haigu. Maybe it was because it was a Supai pussy. An Indian pussy.
"I moved my hands again. To my shorts. I pulled them down over the hardness standing out and pointing at my sister on the bed who had her mouth open now but without the moving tongue. It looked like she was not even breathing. Just waiting....
"I heard her breathe when my cock was out and my shorts were on the floor around my feet. Her breath was like the sigh of the wind through cactus needles. I moved to her, slowly. My cock was like a spring in front, moving up and down, up and down with each step, but only so much up and so much down. I know there was some fear in my mind that it would be too big for Little Flame's pussy. Little Flame was not wide in the ass; she was not fat. On the trail, when I would see her from side, I had feelings that my cock would go right through her. If I put it in her pussy and pushed hard it would come out of her ass....
"I stopped a foot away from Little Flame and reached my hand out to her chin and raised it up to look in her eyes. 'Are you afraid, Little Flame?"
"She swallowed nothing, then shook her head. 'No, Young Deer. I am not afraid.' She smiled, then asked: 'Young Deer, are you going to make loving with me?"
"I nodded. 'Yes, Little Flame. Young Deer is going to make loving with you. I am going to do with you what.I had wanted to do for the past three months.' It was strange that I said that because I had not knowingly thought of fucking Little Flame while I was with the haigu. Even the days of my trip back to canyon, I only thought of talking to her.
"Do it, Young Deer,' she said and lay back on the bed.
"I looked down on her black pussy. The hair was not thick; it was not long; it was the pussy of a female no longer a child but not yet a woman. I could see pinkness showing in a line through the fur at the bottom of her stomach.
"Open it, Little Flame,' I said. 'Open your pussy for Young Deer."
"Little Flame trembled and moved her legs apart. Then she brought her feet to bed, raising her legs off it, and I could see the hole of her sex, and the hole was wet. I wondered if it was from the waters of the shower or from her feelings that the seeing of my hard on gave her. I moved my hand between her legs and slid my finger into Little Flame's hole. My finger went all the way in and I felt Little Flame's pussy tighten around my finger and I heard Little Flame moan like a puppy dog in the village. Then I felt her finger, cold and small, take hold of my thick flesh-muscle.
"Put it inside me, Young Deer,' she moarted. 'Please put it inside my pussy and fuck me. I want your cock fucking me, Young Deer. Now!"
"Her words made my hardness lurch in her hand like a rabbit caught in a snare. I lowered myself over her, holding my body up off her on my outstretched arms with hands on the bed on each side of har. I had to take my finger out of her pussy to do that, but I did not care because my cock was in her hand and she was showing it the way to her hole. I felt the heat of her pussy on the knob of my hardness. I felt it slide into her, then her hands came up around my neck.
"Now, Young Deer,' she said, and I moved.
"It was a tight pussy, Little Flame's pussy. It was the tightest I had let my hardness go into. It felt like the warmth of summer sun and coolness of spring breezes and sweetness of fresh fruit and honey. And Little Flame brought her body up against mine as I was moving into her and our bodies came together with a loud sound like a fish jumping out of water makes.
"And then she started fucking under me. She was moving slow at first but building speed fast, and she was moaning and making puppy noises, and her legs went around my legs and she tried to draw me further into her, and I wondered where there was room inside her pussy for my big hardness because of her narrow ass, but then I felt life begin to boil in my balls and start shooting like a bullet, like many bullets, up the barrel of my hardness and explode like geyser inside Little Flame's pussy that seemed to have many-many little hands playing with my hardness....
"She came at the same time. I know because she suddenly shuddered and bit my shoulder and then sighed and screamed. Then, like she was falling asleep, she moaned, 'Ahhmmm, fuck, fuck, fuck!' And with each word, she moved her pussy up against me, slower and slower.
"I was very confused. I wanted to fuck Little Flame, my Supai sister. Instead, she had fucked me, and she did not sound like fourteen years old. But it was a good come that I had and I just let my body lie on her with my hardness going soft still inside her watery pussy hole. Then I fell asleep. . ..
"I woke up because I felt my hardness in cool wetness. I was lying on my back on the bed. And Little Flame was there. I could see her. She was there with my hardness in her mouth and she was sucking me, sucking me! My little sister! And then, when she saw me with eyes open, she moved her body until her pussy was by my face, and she let my hardness slip out of her mouth, and she said, 'Eat my pussy, Young Deer -eat my cunt out with your fucking tongue!"
"I felt a madness growing in my chest. I put my hand on her head and I asked her, 'Little Flame, where did you learn the ways of haigu? You been fucked while I was gone? You been sucking cock? You been having your pussy eaten?' And she nodded, and then took my cock back in her mouth and started moving her head up and down over it, pushing her black and wet fur pussy at my mouth. ...
"Anger seized me then. I pulled my cock out of Little Flame's mouth. 'Who?' I yelled loud. 'Who been doing it to you, Little Flame? And how long?"
"She told me. 'Mule driver. Haigu. Past month, every time he brings down tourists.' She looked frightened at my anger. 'He fucks good, Young Deer. Almost as good as you."
"I felt the anger of a thousand years choking my throat. I maddened. I pushed Little Flame down on bed, then turned her around so her little ass facing me. I pulled her Supai ass globes apart, and then I rammed my hardness into Little Flame's asshole. She tried to scream, but I pushed her face into pillow. And I fucked her asshole for a long time, with much anger.... It took me a long time to come. When I came inside Little Flame's ass, I got up and dressed. I heard her sobbing on bed, but I did not care. I left the cabin and I went up the pathway to a hilltop and I went down the pathway to a canyon and I listened to the sounds of the night and of the great river and I felt pain for many things I had done and Little Flame had done. I tried talking to Tochopa, but he would not make a sign that he heard.. . .
"When I returned I went up to the world of haigu and bought much whiskey and drunked myself. It was because of that I was found, talking mad things about fucking and sucking and my sister...."
Young Deer's bitterness, despair and confusion at discovering that his fourteen-year-old sister, Little-Flame was no more innocent -than any of the non-Indians he had been exposed to for a period of three months is understandable in view of the fact that his exposure to the hedonism of the modern world was sudden and intense. His subsequent discovery that Little Flame had not returned to the Supai village contributed even further to his emotionally disturbed state.
It is difficult with any certainty to predict how the boy will fare. The quasipsychoanalysis to which he has been subjected was of an extremely superficial nature. Because of this it is doubtful that anything but time and a radical change of influencing environment will set Young Deer into a frame of mind that will suppress his bitterness and bring some normalcy into his life.