Chapter 3

I stood there for a minute, unsure of what to do next, and it was during this time that she woke up. She blinked up at the light, spotted me, and her first reflex was to try to hide her vibrator. But then she realized I'd seen it, so she relaxed, shrugged, and groped about in the mess on her bedside table for her cigarettes.

"Feeling lonely tonight?" I said lightly.

"I guess so." She offered me a cigarette and we both smoked for the sake of giving each other time to sort out our thoughts. My belly churned with fresh excitement, a strong lust mixed in with a kind of psychic knowledge of big things to come. There was something about her demeanor, furthermore, that suggested she was in real need. And that kind of need couldn't be taken care of with a mere vibrator.

"What happened to all your boyfriends this evening?"

"All of them?" she repeated. "I wondered about that. . . they seem to come and go so fast. Do you think there's something peculiar about that? I mean, I know most of the eligible guys on campus and I haven't had to chase any of them. But after a couple of dates they fade out."

"How could that be? Don't you give them what they want?"

"On the contrary." She smiled wanly and took a long draw on her cigarette. "I think I give them too much."

She pulled the sheet over her legs until it came to her waist, and then half-turned toward me and leaned on one elbow. Her breasts remained shapely and firm but they bunched together so as to make her flesh seem fuller and richer. My fingers itched to caress her there, to sample her softness. Instead I drew my chair up to the side of her bed and paid attention, since she was obviously in a mood to talk.

"It's hard to know how to behave," Gina went on. "You know how it is, everyone tells you to keep your legs locked until you're eighteen and then you're in college and everyone tells you to let it all hang out. For the past year I've been letting it hang out but for all the good it's done me I might as well have kept it to myself."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, the first time a guy made love to me I thought it was great. I didn't have any virginal troubles, I just loved it from the first thrust. The guy wasn't so terrific, a routine lay so to speak, but I loved the sensation of a big hard cock entering my body, of a hard muscular body crushing mine, the sweat and the panting, everything! And since I loved it so much I didn't see any point in being coy about dealing it out, either. And that's where I ran into trouble. I'd date a guy once, he'd put it to me, and the next day his buddy would sidle up to me and we'd go out to do the same thing. I still love screwing, Ellen, but I'm sure getting tired of men."

"But they're giving you what you want, aren't they?"

"Yes and no. Some nights I strike it lucky with a guy who is actually concerned about me, but most of the time they're done before I'm even warmed up. And most of them prefer to be blown, anyway." She sighed deeply and lit another cigarette. I had trouble concealing my surprise. There I'd been thinking how happy Gina was, how popular and experienced, and all the while she'd been unhappy.

"You're a lot smarter than me," said Gina after a long pause. "You let them fight over you and then you give the winner nothing. People around campus are calling you a vestal virgin but

I don't think that's an insult. You're better off hanging on to it until you meet some guy you can trust, believe me."

"Yeah, well ... " I sighed. We were both getting pretty gloomy and to cheer us up I brought out a bottle of wine that I'd been keeping under my bed for a long, boring evening. It was white wine and warm, but we didn't care. Once the cork was out of it we passed the bottle back and forth, and within minutes the troubles didn't seem quite so pressing. "I really do want to lose it," I confided, "but every time I come close I freeze up. Just can't give it away! Somebody's going to have to take it or I'll be stuck with it for the rest of my life."

"It can't be as bad as all that. All you have to do is close your eyes and count to ten, and it'll be out of the way for good. Find somebody innocuous-like that guy Richard, you could get him hard, sit on it, and hey presto, you're a woman!" We giggled and drank some more. But while my head felt lighter the buzzing and throbbing in my belly became heavier. The sheet had slipped down to her thighs again and the hairy bush sprouted thickly between her rich fleshy legs. When she laughed hard she drew one of her legs back and then I was granted a glimpse of a roll of flesh, long and slender, marking the entrance to her body. I longed to go down on her, to breathe in her scent first-hand, to taste her succulence. The wine made me unable to hide it from myself any longer. I wanted her like I had never wanted a man.

"God, it's getting hot in here," I said, and with that I undid the buttons of my blouse and removed it. Usually I was very neat about folding my clothes and putting them away, but on that occasion I simply flung it over my shoulder. Gina cheered and held up the bottle, saying to take it all off, and I proceeded to do just that.

I began to wonder how to go about seducing her. The bottle of wine was emptying all too rapidly and time was growing short. Gina gave me no hints at all. It was as if she was unaware of the sudden intimacy between us. I couldn't go another night without loving her, I thought, let stand another day of suspense. It had to be now! But how? She was my pal, my buddy, and buddies don't make out. Had I been more experienced at this I might have been able to seize onto something she said and built on that. As it was I grew more and more tongue-tied.

The bottle was empty, Gina was yawning, and the clock indicated that I'd be falling asleep during my classes if I didn't hit the sack at once. But I couldn't budge! I felt like a dog begging mutely for his dinner.

"Oh boy, I'm tired!" exclaimed Gina. "That wine made me very drowsy. And look at you, you're about to drop into a coma!"

"No, not me, I'm all right," I protested.

"Yeah, sure. Well, you go study then, but I'm going to sleep." I had no choice but to trudge off to bed. She turned off her light and silence reigned. I couldn't even masturbate, it seemed so pointless next to the idea of making love with

Gina. I listened to her regular breathing and cursed her for being so blind. But just as I had given up all hope and had resigned myself to a miserable night all by myself, I heard the rustle of her blankets the padding of bare feet, and the warmth of her body as she slipped into bed with me.

"Do you mind? Say you don't mind. I can't sleep alone, Ellen, it's so lonely and awful. Hold me, don't think I'm strange, I just need a friend right now." She sounded close to crying and with a surge of relief and bliss I embraced her and pulled her close to me. Our naked bodies fit together very well. I felt her hard nipples press into my tits, felt her pubic hair chafe against my belly, and somehow our legs became intertwined so that my thigh pressed into her cunt and hers into mine. At first we pretended that this was just an accident, and neither of us moved or nudged. But as our embrace grew more torrid our movements grew more overt.

"This is so nice," I murmured. "Did you want this to happen, Gina?"

"No ... yes ... I don't know." She buried her head in my shoulder and clung to me as if waiting for me to take over. That was a switch. It was normally Gina who initiated things and dragged me along in her wake. In bed so much changed. I took her face between my hands and raised it so I could kiss her. She was shy, reluctant, at first, but as our lips met and merged she loosened up and even began to kiss me back. My pussy throbbed uncontrollably now and I pushed it down hard on her thigh. The wetness of it must have alerted her. She began to grind her thigh up against me, titillating my clitoris to the point of bursting, and I kissed her all the more fervently. My tongue pressed past her lips and invaded her warm, wet mouth, licking at her teeth and palate before finding her tongue and entwining with it.

Gina moved into the lower position, allowing me to dominate her the way her male friends did, and I took advantage of that by sliding down along her body until my mouth found her luscious tits. There they were, within reach at last. Both hands took hold of those swelling mounds and the tip of my tongue described fine circles about the large nipples, licking, teasing, making them hard as bullets before my lips closed around one of them and drew it back as far as it would go. My hands squeezed and fondled, working her up just as I'd like to have been worked-up.

I manipulated her quite deliberately now, leaving my own passion to take care of itself. The gyrations of Gina's lissome body, her excited cries, and the sudden tight hugs she gave me, were all I needed to keep me going. I licked and sucked her tits, nibbled on her nipples, gathered and pressed her flesh, toiling over her tits until her hips were moving frantically up and down as if to signal me to come on down. Still taking my time, teasing her, drawing out the experience, I started to lick the lower part of her breasts, down to her belly only to stop at her navel. My tongue insinuated itself into that tiny hollow and worked round and round as though I'd already arrived at her pussy.

Gina didn't seem to know whether to come or go. She squirmed and moaned, tried to push my face further down, relaxed and enjoyed the navel lapping for a moment, then resumed her quest to get me in between her legs. Her body made fucking motions and the brush of her pubic mound pushed hard against my chest. I clung to her rounded hips and savored every excruciating second of the self-imposed delay.

But she tricked me. Suddenly she pushed herself back along the sheets and I fell face forward into her hot, dripping snatch. Her legs opened wide and closed around my head, her hands came to rest on the top of my head and held me firmly in place. And I could only surrender. The moment had come and I was coming. This was it! My pussy felt as though it spilled hot lava, I was trembling violently, sucking air through the rolls of her flesh and the bush of hair, desperately trying to ride out the waves of passion that clashed inside me. The wonderful world of cunt! Oh yes, this was for me! She reeked of bath oil and piss and olives, her juices slathered about my mouth and face, and her restless jerking motions made her slippery inner flesh glide along my mouth and nose so as to make us both mad with passion.

I took this facial rape as long as I could, but then, with the forerunners of my desire satisfied, I decided to introduce a little method into this madness. I wrenched her legs apart and freed my head from the fleshy vise of her thighs. Then, using both thumbs, I unpeeled her cunt so that the pink innards bulged out and at me, and with the very tip of my tongue I began to roam about in there. Gina tried to force herself upon me again but I made it very clear that she wasn't to interfere. From then on she lay back meekly and took what I had to deal out, waxing and waning with orgasms.

Pink flaps of skin, white flecks of passion juice, a hard little knob hiding under a tuck of flesh, and that generous opening to her body which, free as it was could still pinch down around my roving tongue, all this I explored in fine detail. Time stood still. All I cared about was her pussy and how it worked. It fascinated me to see what turned her on and what left her cold. Her clitoris was very sensitive, just like mine, but her ass-hole was not much less so. All I had to do was run my tongue along her anus and she was off into convulsions of ecstasy. I pushed a thumb deep into her cunt and slipped a finger up her ass-hole to tweak the partition of tissue, and she was off and running, just like a wind-up doll. It was so easy to make her happy! A cock didn't even come into it. She came and came, yelled, squirmed, dug her fingernails into my flesh, bit the pillow to stop from screaming, and all because I knew which buttons to push.

And what about somebody pushing my buttons ! It dawned on me that so far I'd been reducing everyone else to ecstasy while they had lain back and let me go to it.

I rolled away from Gina, keeping a solitary finger at her pussy to stimulate her clit and finger-fuck her off and on, just keeping her on the boil so to speak. She went on soaking up pleasure like a sponge, unaware of my needs, let alone the sudden depression that had come over me. I felt so tired suddenly. It was too much effort to move that finger along her wet slit. I let her down gently and rolled over to go to sleep, whether she liked it or not.

"Are you tired already?" she said plaintively.

"I'm dead."

"Don't go to sleep yet, Ellen, it's so enjoyable being with you. You know what? You've made me feel better than any of the men I've known, and that's the truth." That made me sit up and stare at her. "Don't you believe me? I've never come as much or as beautifully as I have tonight. It's like a new world has been opened to me! You know exactly what I need. Oh Ellen, I love you. Don't say I'm being silly, I really do love you." She threw herself on me and wrapped her arms about me tightly, repeating that she loved me over and over, until I had to believe it.

I'd. had a long hard day and I told her that if she really loved me she'd let me get some sleep. She snuggled right up to me and in that position we drifted off. In fact, when we came to next morning she was still pressed in close to me, and for the first time I knew what a delight it was to share one's bed with another person. Even if that person happened to be of the same sex.

I returned to Harry's office in the morning. With all that had happened to me in the past twenty-four hours I had forgotten to worry about his decision, and when I waited for him to see me I hardly thought he could refuse my article. Not after what he had made me do. Richard sat behind his desk and looked at me with big puppy-dog eyes, hoping for more favors however small. I could hardly bring myself to speak to him. All I wanted to talk about was my article, its acceptance, and my future with the college paper.

Harry had other things on his mind. "Did you go out with that wimp last night?" he demanded as soon as I entered his dump.

"Yes, what of it?"

"Wow, baby, you'll do anything to get this piece of shit published! Well, listen, I admire your drive and all that, but I still haven't made up my mind." He looked at me expectantly.

"What more do you want from me?" My impatience got the better of me. After all, I told myself, this was only a college newspaper, not the New York Goddamn Times!

"What do I want?" His face took on a thoughtful expression and he rubbed his stubbly chin. "I want you to strip and lay down on the floor-right now."

"Why should I?"

"So you'll get your article in the paper." I hesitated. "With a byline."

"Okay, but this is the last time!" I said. He shrugged. What persuaded me was his brute appeal. He was capable of doing anything, even taking me by force. I wanted him to rape me and to push me past this threshold of fear, even though I was terrified that he would do just that. Such a blend of emotions swept through me that I thought I was going to throw up. But I collected myself and started undoing the buttons of my blouse again. Harry put his feet up on his desk, lit up a smelly cigar stub, and looked on from below beetling eyebrows. He was a repulsive man, I reflected, or would be in later years. At his age he at least had virility to mitigate his coarse features and rawboned body.

"Come on, come on," he snapped. "I'm not even getting a fat cock out of this performance. Put a bit of zip into it!"

I ignored him and went on taking off my clothes as if I were alone in my room. And when my panties came off I stood in front of his desk and asked him what was next. He pointed at the floor and I lay down. Only then did he move from behind the desk. His hands went to his fly, he chewed on the cigar stub, and stood towering over me, looking for all the world as if he was about to take a leak. I flinched at the very idea.

He took his cock out, hard and big, and enclosed it with his fist. His eyes wandered up and down my body as he beat off and I felt very uncomfortable. There was nothing personal about this situation, I might as well have been a centerfold. He whacked off over my nipples, then, as their appeal waned, over my thighs, and when he couldn't see enough to satisfy himself, he got down on his knees and bent over so his face was just inches from my various parts. One of his hands moved one leg further apart from the other, brushing my pubic hair out of the way and opening the slit a little so he could get a flash of pink.

"Not bad," he grunted, applying his fist with more ardor. "You've got a great body, baby. Maybe you want a job here as a secretary. It doesn't pay much but all you have to do is put out for me and a few of my aces."

"I want to be an ace," I said firmly.

"Shut up, don't talk," he snapped. "Turn over on your belly."

I did as I was told, resting my head on folded arms and exposing my ass to him and his whims. It was a little frightening but also a little stimulating. After all, he had it in his power now to do anything he wanted to. For all I knew he was jerking off over my insteps ... or my ass-hole! His hands parted my cheeks so far that my anus was stretched to the limit. Was he about to rape me back there? I hoped so just as fervently as I hoped not. The steady swish of his beating fist continued. "Turn back over," he ordered, and when I did I found his big cock pointing right at my face. That single eye stared at me menacingly, flexing as his fist labored back and forth, big balls dangling, and the color of his cock was dark brown except for the purple knob. That knob came closer and closer. He straddled my head with his knees and now that fat glans was a fraction of an inch away from my face. I stared at it in fear, as though it were a gun rather than a cock.

"What will you do?" I heard myself quaver. "Shut up!" He sounded very tense, his face was flushing deeply and he grunted with each stroke. I wanted to flee, scream, bat his dick aside, but my body refused to obey my brain's commands. I lay there and stared at his fat cock, afraid, expectant, tuning into his rhythm and following it beat by beat, tingling from head to toe, egging him on in the darkest recesses of my mind. His muscles tensed, he hunched over, his fist was a blur and suddenly out squirted a tracer bullet of sperm, soon followed by a rain of the hot, salty fluid. Its soapy smell suffused my nostrils, thick drops fell on my lips, my nose and my eyelids, and unconsciously I licked up what I could get at, to swallow it and savor the flavor. Harry didn't stop beating off until the total contents of his balls had been deposited on my face, then he got up abruptly and went back to work.

I found it hard to recollect myself. The warm fluid formed patches all over my face, his behavior had been most confusing, and I was on the brink of pleasure but not close enough to it to take myself over. Eventually I got up, wiped my face clean with tissues, and got dressed again. Harry seemed absorbed in his work.

"You'll publish my article then?" I said, only to confirm matters.

"What?" He looked up, irritation in his eyes. "No, I don't think so. There's a big difference between a reporter and a slut, you know." He tossed the article back at me and went on working. My temper flared up like a gusher. Before I had a moment to think about it I had seized a walking stick standing nearby, and with one swipe I knocked Harry out of his chair. He was hurt but not seriously. He just couldn't believe I had hit him. He was about to get up to retaliate when I let him have it again, thwacking that stick against his head and working my anger out in a most satisfactory way. The last swing got him where it hurt because he sank back down on his knees, paused a moment, and crashed face down on the floor.

I made sure that his pulse was still in progress right away. Some blood trickled from behind his ear but other than that he was fine. The burning desire to avenge myself hadn't been quenched, far from it. I used anything I could lay my hands on to tie and tape his arms behind his back, string, filament tape, electric wire, binding him so securely that it would take the fire brigade to cut him loose. I made up a gag from his handkerchief and some rag for later. Then, helping myself to his cigarettes and coffee, I made myself at home and waited for him to come around.

"What happened!" he groaned. "Hey, who tied me up. Let me loose, bitch! Have you gone crazy?"

"Yes, I have," I said sweetly. I went over to him carrying a razor blade and he became very still suddenly. He shook his head and protested feebly when I brought the razor close to his lap, but all I wanted to do was cut his pants up a little. In fact, I wanted to slice them from top to bottom. He was pale and shaken when I was done, and submitted meekly to my tying the gag on.

What fun to cut his clothes to ribbons! I stripped him clean and covered the floor of his office with the scraps. When he saw that I wasn't about to cut him up personally he tried to get smart, struggling to get out of his bonds and kicking at me. But a tiny knick in one of his fingers stopped him short.

"I'll show you not to fuck with me," I said. "You think you can push people around just because you're the editor of this crummy college paper but you have to learn you're a big fish in a tiny pond. You use people and now you're going to be used."

I grabbed hold of his cock and started to jerk it off the way I had seen him do it, up and down with a steady rhythm. That relaxed him a lot, and within a minute or so he managed to get it up again. My mind was made up, I was going to fuck this man on my terms. My clothes came off, I worked my clitoris with one finger to get my pussy wet while my other hand kept pumping his cock so it'd stay good and hard.

I squatted over his lap and brought his thick tool up to a point directly at my cunt's entrance. Any second now! I could hardly breathe, it was hard to think straight, but I managed to bring the fat knob of his dick into contact with the yielding flesh of my cunt. My muscles tightened spasmically and the juices dried up suddenly but I kept thrusting down, bringing my orifice and his cock together with increasing force. Harry grimaced in pain. I didn't care. All I wanted was to pop my hymen!

It wouldn't go in. I looked wildly about the office until I spotted a jar of vaseline. I smeared some on his dick and rubbed it all over my pussy, and tried again. My desperation was getting the better of me. I heard someone knocking on Harry's office door, the phone was ringing as well, and it was only a matter of time before we were interrupted for good, it had to be now or never! I reached down to his freshly greased cock, held it upright, and slammed my ass down over it. His cock penetrated but it got the wrong hole!

I nearly cried with frustration. An inch of cock was securely lodged in my body but I was as much a virgin as ever. Harry took advantage of my confusion to stab it in deeper and it hurt but the hurt was pleasant. I didn't know what to do. He lay on the ground below me, his hips thumping his dick deeper and deeper into my ass-hole, and I liked it but it wasn't part of the plan! The knocking grew louder, the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and Harry was fucking my distended anus with all his might. "No, no, stop, this isn't right!" I wailed. Tears welled up in my eyes, I felt myself crumbling under his attack, and all I could think was that I'd blown it once too often.

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing in there!" I recognized Richard's voice and groaned. "Are you okay? Mary, where's that spare key? Ah good, thanks a lot." The door opened, Harry came up my ass, and Richard stood there gaping down at us as if he'd seen a monster. "Ellen, no, it can't be ... he must be forcing you ... but ... " He saw that Harry was hardly in a position to force me, what with his hands tied behind his back, and with that his mouth fell shut and he walked out with his head hanging low. Harry sort of flipped me off and walked out of the office to return a minute later with his hands freed.

"You stupid bitch," he hissed. Behind him women were chortling over his nakedness, men were peering in through the door to check out mine, but that was secondary. He loomed before me like a crazed killer, hairy, powerful, and ready to mash his fist into my face. "Get out of here and don't ever darken these portals again!"

I was relieved to get off so lightly. He threw my clothes at me and I put them on in Richard's part of the office, hurrying in case he changed his mind. How unlucky could one person be, I asked myself.

The first stop was the dorm. I threw the article on my desk and tore my clothes off to rush into the showers. All the other girls were in class so I had the whole place to myself, and I gave myself the rinsing-out of a lifetime. His sperm had to be eradicated from my body, he disgusted me through and through, and I worked soapy fingers up my ass to make sure all of it came out. Then I scrubbed my body from head to toe, washed my hair, brushed my teeth, and only when I was squeaky-clean did I turn off the water. A nap was very therapeutic, too.

It was late in the afternoon before I felt ready to face the world again. Lazily I read through the article and found it very professional and informative. Harry wasn't the right man to run the college paper, I decided, but that wasn't my worry. The article was too good for a hokey rag like that anyway. I had to try for the big-time right off the bat. The only problem was the topic: it was too collegiate to make it in a city paper.

In other words, I had to find something more newsworthy or topical and write around it. But what? My life was lived out on this campus. I knew little else. Which reminded me that I hadn't attended classes in some time now, and would be failing everything unless I changed my ways. Perhaps that was the best course of action. I would do my homework, attend lectures, get good grades, and apply for a job once I had that sheepskin.

Gina interrupted my train of thought by bursting in and flinging her arms about my neck. "I'm so glad to see you again," she whispered, kissing my face. "I've missed you, can you believe that? I've actually missed you. That's never happened tome!"

"I've missed you, too," I said perfunctorily. The truth of the matter was that I didn't want to see her just yet. But she was so happy that I couldn't be nasty to her. I accepted her embraces and kisses, returned a few of them, and said nothing when she began to take off her clothes. She lay beside me, naked now, entreating me with her big eyes to make love to her again the way I had the previous night. If only she knew how distant that session seemed to me.

"Baby, I'm really preoccupied right now," I said.

"What do you mean?" She looked as though I had slapped her across the face.

"I've just had a really terrible day ... ." I couldn't go through with it, all the excuses dried up before I could utter them.

"Then let me make you feel all better," said Gina. She kissed me tenderly and caressed the outlines of my breasts, softly, slowly, insinuating herself into my life. I started to enjoy the attention. For once someone was doing something for me! But my pleasure was short-lived. She warmed me up, then lay back with her legs wide apart to indicate I could eat her now. "Do it again, my darling," she said throatily, "you do it so beautifully!"

There was a loud knocking on the door. I knew who it was before he came in. Another hurt soul. Richard walked in without anyone asking him to and took no notice of my naked roommate at first. "How could you do this to me'? " he said. "I thought we had an understanding."

"What understanding, and what did I do?" I said impatiently.

"What's he doing here?" asked Gina, clutching at me as if I was her mother-surrogate.

"Oh, I see," said Richard, focusing with difficulty on Gina, "you make it with her, too! Jesus, Ellen, have you no decency at all?"

The quarrel that ensued only involved me in part. Charges were hurled across the room, Gina made haste to cover her nakedness as if to spite the ogling Richard and Richard kept bringing Harry up as if to spite Gina. I faded out slowly once I realized it was pointless to be reasonable with them. Besides, I needed a break from everything and everyone I knew. It seemed as though my troubles were multiplying quite independently of me.

So I walked out of the room, out of the building, and off the campus toward the small town nearby. The walk settled me a little but whenever I tried to assess my position, my stomach grew tight again: knotted nerves imitating ulcers.

I needed a drink. The first bar to come into view was the one I selected for that purpose. It was a relief just to walk inside that alien environment. The lights were dim in the large lounge, a few people sat at the bar, watching a baseball game on TV, and when I took a stool near them, they just nodded and went on watching. Privacy in a public place, just what the doctor ordered.

The drink settled me and I turned my attention to the game as well. This was the life. Back in the fine points, Harry was in his office wielding power, people were locked into classrooms listen-room Gina and Richard were no doubt arguing to the buzzing voices of lecturers, and others were fretting over love, life, and lucre. But I perched on a high vinyl-seated stool by the side of a plastic bar and watched highly paid men on TV strike out. An occasional sip of my drink kept me at a pleasurable pitch. I had something to eat from the buffet, talked with a few of the bar flies, and it didn't even bother me when the large lounge area began to fill with thirsty customers. Most of them were men. A band took its place on a podium, some slick young guys began to move chairs and tables and stacks of T-shirts. Obviously there was going to be a lot of action at the bar that evening. But that was all right by me. Whatever life had to hand out, I was willing to take it.