Chapter 1
I was alone in my room. It was dark outside and only a small lamp burned by the side of my bed. I had on a black lace negligee over matching bra and panties, my blonde hair fell loosely over my shoulders, and I smoked a cigarette leisurely. There was nothing to do. The house was quiet, the neighborhood dead, and sleep was a long way away. I had just come out of a long spell in the bath and my body was fragrant with the soap and perfume I had pampered myself with. With a half-stifled yawn, another draw on my cigarette, I lazily watched the smoke curl toward the ceiling and reveled in the luxury of having nothing to do.
My free hand moved over the sudden rise of my breasts down to my belly and came to rest there. I felt a warm yearning in my loins, a naughty desire to make love to myself. Why suppress it? So many lovers had admired me, why shouldn't I? And it wasn't all that often that I had an evening to myself. Yes ... yes, nothing grand, just a little titillation, a nightcap of sorts. My hand moved further down and slid in between my thighs. I closed my eyes and pretended it wasn't my hand for a moment, just to feel how soft and smooth my flesh was. A rush of hot and cold tingles ran through me, shaking loose the sleepy zones and alerting all of me to what was to come. Ooohhh nice! I felt the patch of hair under my panties, the swell of flesh beneath, and the faint dampness. The mirror that ran the full length of my bed, reflected my slinky blonde loveliness. No wonder men were so mad about me! How could they resist those firm, star-gazing breasts, those long slender legs, and that pretty face with its flaxen hair? I turned over on my side to look at myself as my hand slipped into my panties and caressed its way in between those succulent lips.
"Ellen! Open up, I've got to get my books right away!"
The dream bubble popped. Hastily I withdrew my hands from my jeans, pushed the chair away from the book-cluttered desk, and went over to unlock the door. Gina came in looking pissed.
"Goddamn it, why do you have to lock doors all the time? You don't seem to realize that we share this room." She picked up her books, gave me a dirty look, and left in a rush, slamming the door behind her. I pushed the lock back into place and sank back into the chair. Now where was I? My mind strained to get back to that other world, the one in which men queued for blocks to make love to me, the one in which I could have been content to be left alone to make love only to myself.
Back in that mysterious house and its mirrors, gazing at myself, I fingered slowly, carefully, not wanting to arouse myself too much too soon. I let the sensations build up upon one another, adding to them with quick twitches of my finger, an occasional dip into the silky moistness of my cunt hole, a squeeze of my breasts with the other hand while my lips held the cigarette for the moment. Bit by bit I set my body on fire, a touch here, a stroke there, and suddenly the few clothes I had on became oppressive. I wanted to be naked and free, I wanted to see my cunt splayed out all pink and wet, I wanted to see my face contort in the pain of pleasure!
But I kept a grip on my emotions. The bra was the first item of clothing to go. Two perfectly formed breasts pushed out at the mirror, white against my tan, tipped by the pinkest nipples this side of Playboy magazine, and for a breathless second I cupped my breasts in both hands and squeezed the springy flesh as if they didn't belong to me but to an utterly desirable stranger. I could feel myself growing hotter and wetter by the minute!
The negligee was next to go, only my panties covered any part of me, and it was that part that dominated my mind. My pussy throbbed and purred, it drooled and ached, but I ignored it for as long as I could just to intensify those emotions to the point of agony. Now, now, I couldn't wait another second! I ripped my panties off, and threw myself back onto the bed so that my legs flailed about in the air and my cunt opened right up for the finger that pushed at the entrance. I craned my neck and watched as that solitary digit pushed in and out. I was on the way, an orgasm loomed up on the horizon-but suddenly I caught a glimpse of something at the window!
At first I thought it was my imagination. But a moment later I saw something move again and this time I got a good look. There was a man outside of my bedroom window and he was watching me play with myself! How long had he been there!? I flushed all over and looked around for a place in which to hide my nakedness. My clothes were all flung well away from the bed and I didn't want to let him know I'd seen him. The window was open just far enough to let in some fresh air, if I panicked he might push it all the way up and jump right into my room! What was I to do? There was no one home to help me. Automatically I went on fingering and caressing but the fun had gone out of it. The man took less and less care to remain unseen, and when he realized that he'd been spotted he pressed his face against the window pane and looked on insolently. "Go away!" I cried in despair. He didn't move a muscle.
Now I did panic. All the pent-up fears and frustrations came out in one burst as I snatched the bedspread off the bed, wrapped it around my naked body, and ran to the window to close it. The man was too quick for me. Just as I grabbed hold of the top of the sliding pane he got hold of the bottom and pushed twice as hard as I did. My arms flew up, the bedspread fell down, and he clambered inside. He was a big man with a low forehead and a lot of hair. His eyes were small and they glowered at me with piggish lust. I felt a cringing sensation in my belly. The fear had me paralyzed, I wanted to pick up the bedspread but I was too terrified. So I stood there stark-naked, trembling,, and the man leered at me up and down, down and up, taking in every square inch of my body.
"Class ass," he growled. Then he turned to the open window and yelled: "Hey fellas, let's go I"
The bushes rustled and from the dark emerged half a dozen shady figures, hulking brutes who entered the room wordlessly and grouped about me to stare. I tried to scream but no sound would come out. The men looked like laborers. A couple of them wore hard hats, jeans, and there was mud and oil on their shirts. Heavy work boots on my white carpet. The smell of armpit sweat and cigars displaced the fragrance of my perfumes and bath oils. One of the men reached back and slammed the window shut.
"Get back on the bed," said the leader of the pack.
"What will you do with me?" I asked in a high, quavering voice.
The men laughed roughly but the leader pushed me onto the bed and told me to stay there. His thick fingers went down to his lap and undid his zip. Frightened as I was, I couldn't help but be curious. How big were these ruffians? And what would they do to me, and for how long? Fear mingled with delicious expectations, both emotions see-sawing from one extreme to the other. The men stood around and glared at me silently. Were they escapees from an insane asylum? No, no, there was working dirt on their big hands, they must be the road crew I'd seen at work earlier in the day.
"I'm first," the leader said finally. "Because I'm senior. You guys stand back and watch how the experts do it." More rough laughter. I was glad to see that they were in a good mood at least. The leader dropped his pants and a roaring erection popped up. "Suck it!" he said impatiently. "What the hell are you waiting for?" That shocked me out of my repose. I had expected the man to rape me and to that I had been resigned. But to suck his dick in front of all those people! No, I couldn't do that. I shook my head and put my hands over my mouth as if to protect myself.
"Go on, Roy, give it to her," said one of the men.
"I'll do that all right!" The leader came at me with his pants down around his knees and anger in his eyes. "Come here you dirty slut!" He grabbed my wrists and pulled me toward him so that my face came into contact with the rough pubic hair surrounding his quivering erection. He was too big for me, far too big. His was a long, fat cock with heavy veins and a knob that could choke a horse. I tried to get away from him but those big hands were locked about my wrists. He jabbed his cock at my face and urged me to comply with his wishes. I felt so small and helpless, so utterly desperate, that I began to cry. Roy liked that. He flung me back onto the bed, stepped out of his pants and, still wearing his work shirt and heavy boots, he got on his knees on the bed and straddled my chest so that his cock stuck out right over my face. His big hands grabbed my face and forced my mouth open. He hurt me in the process but the pain dwindled in significance next to the choking, threatening sensation of his cock entering my mouth! I kept my eyes open for some reason, and saw his big thick cock come at me, filling up my horizon, dominating me, and at last pushing in between my lips to go down, down, down, until I couldn't breathe! My facial muscles were stretched to the limit and his knob was approaching the gag zone.
With a last burst of strength I pushed him back and slithered out from under him. None of his friends moved as I leaped off the bed and headed for the door. They knew I wouldn't get far. Strong arms seized me about the waist, I was forced back onto the bed, and then Roy's rough hands grabbed me by the hair and pulled my face in really close to his hairy belly. I smelled his sweat and felt his power, and I wilted like a lily, unable to take any more of this brutality. His cock pushed its way into my mouth and his loins moved it back and forth. Every part of me relaxed and became passive. When his cock slid right down my throat I couldn't even be bothered to gag.
"Terrific baby," he panted. "That's how I like my women, just like mattresses with warm, wet holes. Hey Bud, get in line, she gives great head!"
"I'd rather fuck her," said Bud. I couldn't tell which of the men Bud was but I liked him anyway.
"Suit yourself but you'll be missing out on some great head," said Roy. He pushed his cock deeper down my throat, so deep that the pubic hair brushed against my nose and cheeks. He filled me to the brim, it was almost impossible to get any air to my lungs, but my indifference had reached a new high by this time. Let them do what they wanted with me. What did it matter? A thick finger pushed its way into my cunt and moved back and forth to get me wet. Roy sat on my chest and fed me his cock with one hand behind my head, the other on my tits. Bud picked up my legs and stood in between them to direct his cock at my cunt. Was I wet? His knob pushed against my cunt entrance and to my horror my pussy opened right up and swallowed the stranger!
"This is one hot bitch!" commented one of the men. "Come on, Bud, get it over with quick, I can hardly wait to get a piece of that ass!"
"Wait your turn, fellas." That big cock moved back and forth slowly, feeling me out, getting its bearings. Excitement took me by storm. The cock down my throat now became a real thing for me, something to cling to in the coming storm. I grabbed hold of Roy's ass and brought him further forward so that the whole of his monstrosity was in my mouth, and then I sucked it good and hard, all the while waiting for the real fucking to begin. Slowly, back and forth, slurping pussy juice, hard meat, a little faster now, my body on red-alert, a deep thrust and another and another! Surges of passion flooded my body, explosions took place in unexpected regions. I began to writhe and suck harder, my nails dug into Roy's ass and my legs opened as wide as they could to give Bud all the access he could use.
"Suck it, suck it!" panted Roy. He hunched over me and fucked my face mercilessly. "Swallow it all you dirty bitch, suck the sperm out of my balls, that's all you're good for. SUCK IT, SUCK IT, SSSSSSSSSUUUCCCKKK!! " Hot cream boiled out of his cock and down my throat. Roy made strange, strangled sounds and drove his cock right into my face for a final flurry of fucking. My head felt as though it was about to explode with all the cock and come, but it didn't and then the cock and come subsided and disappeared, and I was left with only that big, plunging dick in my cunt and I felt very pleased with the world in general. Bud stood by the side of the bed and held my legs apart as he drove his cock in and out of me with a hard, pneumatic rhythm. When Roy got out of the way I could see the man's hairy chest, his big belly, and the rippling muscles in his tanned arms, so powerful and virile that it made me cringe deliciously just to look at him. I felt the first climaxes building up, rolling through my body and exploding in the back of my mind, small at the beginning, growing larger by the minute, and then, with every deep thrust of Bud's cock, I came, came, and came again!
"Harder, harder!" I moaned. "Oh yes, that's good, that's very nice. Deeper now, deeper, DEEPER, HARDER, GIVE IT ALL TO ME, YES, YES, OH GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME, YES, YES, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSS!! " I fucked him back furiously until the last drop of my ecstasy had been spent. Bud came around about that time, a hot gusher that partially missed its mark and ran down my legs and ass. I was floating, thinking that these men weren't out to do me any harm but had been sent only to make me happy.
"Oh harder, deeper!" I heard one of the men say. "Fuck me, fuck me, yes, aaaaahhhh! What a fucking joke!" Cruel laughter followed. He was making fun of me! I opened my eyes and tried to find my tormentor. There he was, the hulking bearded man with hair growing all over his chest and shoulders. "Roll over, you stupid cunt," he told me. "I'm going to fuck you where you've never been kissed." I felt a new brand of panic rising in me and refused to move. The man's cock stood up and leaned to the left, another big hammer-headed monster that my pussy would have trouble with-and he wanted to put that up my ass! Never! The other men came closer now and watched me with amusement in their eyes. I looked to Bud or Roy for help but they didn't give a shit about me. They told the bearded man to go ahead, daring him to do it to me!
"Please don't," I begged. "Anything but that. You're too big, please, give me a break!"
"Shut up." His powerful hands grabbed me and threw me over on my belly so that I faced myself in the mirror. The man stood by the side of the bed behind me and his hands ran over the cheeks of my ass for a moment before he pulled them apart. "Look at that," he said to his friends. "She couldn't shit raspberry pits through it now but when I'm done she'll pass coconuts without flinching." They roared with laughter. My anus contracted fearfully and my mind kept jumping around looking for a way to get out of this situation. There was no way. His finger found my anus and pushed into it so hard that it parted for him, and the whole of his top joint pushed in. The pain flashed through me, rebounding, doubling up, and illuminating me the way an electric shock would. If so little of him gave me so much pain what could I expect from his rock-hard cock? I began to shiver and whine pitifully but that only made the men laugh more.
The phone rang and shattered my dream once more. I pulled my hand out of my jeans and picked up the receiver. When I held it close I could smell the musky fragrance of my ass, a little stifling, strong, sexy, and it took me a few seconds to focus on what was being said to me. "Hello, Ellen, are you there?"
"Yes, yes, I'm here." Most of my mind stayed firmly within the confines of my dream-world, that bearded monster was still fingering my ass, his buddies were still laughing, but the frontal lobes of my mind were intent on what Richard, my caller, had to tell me.
"Listen, that article has to be finished by tomorrow if you stand to have a chance of getting it accepted. I'm doing everything I can for you here but the competition is rough. So you'll have it ready, right?"
"Of course, Richard, it's practically done now."
"Keep working on it. Once you're on the college paper the rest comes easy," he said. Didn't I know it! Every journalism major in school was trying to get the job as a regular staffer and eventually to get an editorship. When you had that, doors opened, one's degree took on significance, just as without a job on the college paper you were always behind the other aspiring reporters. I sighed and ended the conversation. Typewritten sheets lay in a pile in front of me, with so many corrections that it looked like a march of spiders over the pages. I knew my work was good ... but it had been suggested to me that one had to be more than good.
Still, there'd be plenty of time to worry about the future later. For the moment I had my story rolling. I settled back in my chair and pushed my hand right down into my jeans again, down past my pussy and then that one musky finger slid back into my ass-hole while the rest of my hand pressed hard against my cunt. The hairy, bearded man fingered me ... he fingered me ... and his friends laughed.
His finger dug in deep, too deep. I tried to wriggle away but that only got me closer to the mirror. He kneeled on the bed behind me and started to finger-fuck me in earnest now, pushing down on my ass with his free hand. I was trapped and that intruding finger created such weird, uncomfortable feelings in me! What to do? The men made themselves comfortable and lit up cigarettes. This was just a party to them! Didn't they see how much pain they were putting me through?
"That's enough, I can't take any more," I groaned, reaching back and pulling his hand away from my ass.
"You're going to take a lot more!" he snarled. He seized me by the wrists and held them both in one hand against the small of my back. Then his finger pushed its way up my ass-hole again, more brutally this time, and when I cried out in pain they all laughed.
"Give it to her, Jack, she loves it!" said one of them. Jack seemed to believe that. His whole finger wormed up me and another began to dig around the rim to see if it couldn't come inside as well. While I lay perfectly still it didn't hurt so much, but the moment I moved, that searing, uncomfortable sensation made itself felt and then I didn't know if I was going to cry or shit! That second finger actually entered my ass, forcing the muscles to open further than I would have thought possible.
"She's tight as a-fish's ass-hole!" grunted Jack. "Gimme some of that baby oil on the dresser there, I'll soon open this bitch up." One of his friends obliged and I sighed in relief. He poured the oil over my ass so that it spilled all over my sheets, not caring that I would have to sleep between them later. The stuff splashed down on me and rolled off to soak the sheets! In a way that hurt more than his coarse fingering. These men regarded me as an animal to be defiled any way they wanted. Still, the baby oil made the entry of his two fingers a lot more agreeable, and even when he added a third to it I didn't feel so much pain.
But then he pulled his fingers out, grabbed hold of my buns, and pulled me toward his erection so that the swollen knob pushed hard against my sphincters, tore them apart, and entered me with a minimum of care. "OOOOOOOOOOWWWW-WOOOOOUUUCCCHHHH! I screamed, twisting and turning to get away from the red-hot pain that erupted down there. "LET GO, LET GO, OH JEEEEEESUSSSS THAT HURTSSSSSSS!! "
"It's supposed to hurt!" he hissed, driving his cock up my ass with hard strokes. Through the mist and lashes before my eyes I could see him reflected in the mirror, looking like a bear and standing like one, too, holding me by the hips and lofting his whole cock into my ass with each heave of his loins. The pain kept expanding, filling me, forcing scream after scream from my lungs. I was crying and pleading but nothing could stop that hot poker from pushing right up my ass. Wouldn't the other men help me? I tried to catch their eyes in the mirror but they were all staring at the spot at which his cock entered my body. The pain was so intense that I couldn't take any more of it. Nerves went numb under the load, my mind went blank, a new kind of indifference overtook me. If he wanted to hurt me, let him. What did I care? Men were cruel and women were at the butt of their cruelty. There was nothing for it but to resign myself.
Again I lay there like a mattress and again a surprise attack of passion ambushed me. That searing, torturous pain ceased to give me pain; pain turned to something highly pleasurable the way lead turns to gold, a sudden, unexpected transition that had me hovering on the brink between the two opposite sensations until I was indeed certain that it was pleasure. Those pumping, brutal strokes still stirred up shrill agony but it was now leavened with animal delight, a grovelling, squalid reveling in my own debasement, in the lust my ass had aroused in that bearded bear of a man, in the intensity of his fucking, in the audience, and finally in the physical pleasure he brought me. I felt orgasms gathering momentum, I felt my pussy firing up, felt my clitoris twanging like an overwrought guitar string, and when Jack pushed all of his cock right into me with a slap of belly against ass, I came like a cork from a champagne bottle!
For a few minutes my innards bubbled and brewed violently, and all I could do was pant hysterically to get at some air. Only when I had recovered enough to clear my head did a sense of deep disappointment settle over me. It was just a fantasy. Nothing was happening in my real life, no bearded brutes, no ravishing savages, not even the occasional finger! In my dreams I was bold but in reality I was timid.
I walked unsteadily over to the closet and found a hand towel with which to wipe the sweat off my brow. My fingers were coated with all sorts of excretions and I wiped them clean as best I could. Gina was always out with boys, she didn't have any troubles with sex. If anything, she had to fight the guys off to get a rest from it all now and then. I recalled one night when she had actually brought a man into our room. She must have thought I was asleep, or perhaps she didn't even care. In any case, she and that guy had walked in shushing each other and laughing under their breath, and then they'd fallen onto her bed to start kissing and moaning and making all sorts of rustling sounds that made my imagination go wild!
"Careful!" I heard Gina whisper at one point. "You're going to wake Ellen up with all your noise!"
"The vestal virgin? Screw her, it'll do her good to find out what fucking is all about," the guy had said. That really cut me to the quick. Not that he was wrong. I was upset that he knew about it. There was nothing wrong with me outwardly. I was attractive, a natural blonde, tall and slender, and my breasts jiggled as much as any girls' when I walked through the campus area. But something inside was askew. Men had only to touch me in the wrong place and I froze up. I couldn't understand it because the rest of me wanted to experience love so much. As I lay in my bed and watched the man hump my roommate my whole body was in a turmoil, I fingered myself stealthily, listened to every erotic sound, and had more climaxes than Gina!
The vestal virgin ... I had tried to get rid of that reputation once after drinking too much. My escort had been given the green light and he looked eager. But then I mentioned that I was a virgin and dying to become a woman, and at that point he looked uneasy and said he had to go to the John. Men didn't like to perforate virgins anymore. They thought it meant commitment.
I shook my head and tried to focus my attention on my work. That was all that mattered for the moment. Once on the college paper everything would go smoothly, I just knew it. I leafed through the written pages and tried to think about the overall organization of the article. It was titled "The Southern Women in Society" and consisted of a series of interviews with what I thought were real belles. They talked to me because I was a Northerner and therefore not in competition with them.
For a few minutes I paced about the room and tried to clear my mind. I opened the windows and leaned on the sill while I smoked a cigarette. The campus was dark and peaceful, a few couples strolled under the light of the moon, somewhere someone strummed a guitar, and for a second it did seem to be the happiest time in my life. But when I turned back to my room I knew people were far too sentimental about college days. There was so much to contend with, so many worries about the present and the future, so much pressure from the past. Would I, for example, have been in this fix if my mother hadn't confessed her dread of sex to me each time she had a few drinks? As a little girl she used to make me sit down with her and she'd ramble on about a woman's duties, how men were beasts and women just had to put up with it. I didn't know what she was talking about except on an instinctual level, and there I shuddered along with her. Men were so hairy and strong, their voices were harsh and they always seemed to want to hurt little girls.
I sighed and lit up another cigarette. Slowly I got back to work, typing, collating, correcting, until by midnight the article was all done. I read it through once and nodded, pleased by my own efforts. The editors couldn't turn this one down, it was too topical, too relevant, altogether too contemporary.
"Oh boy, am I tired!" Gina walked into the room and let the door slam after herself. "That biology assignment required a lot of reading, a hell of a lot! But it's done, that's the main thing." She flopped down on her bed, so casual in her jeans yet so beautiful for all her careless tiredness. Black hair and blue eyes, small breasts, and an ass that jutted out as if she had a dash of Africa in her blood. Unkind women in my house had suggested Gina might have a little black blood in her. Unless one was blonde all over, that suspicion was ever-present. Gina denied it, of course, she was a good Louisiana girl. But to me it added something exotic to her appearance. Sometimes, when I looked at her, I felt a strange tingling sensation in my loins, a shameful yet delicious feeling that never failed to make me very wet.
"I've just finished this article," I said, motioning at the sheaf of paper. "If this doesn't get me on the paper, I'm going to drop out of school, I swear to it!"
"Don't be silly." Gina took one of my cigarettes and lit it up. "A woman has to get an education these days or else she's good only for housework. With an education you can pick and choose the men you want. Without one you've got to throw yourself at the first halfway decent one that comes your way." Having delivered this pearl of wisdom, she slipped out of her clothes and stood in front of the mirror to give her long black hair a hundred brushes. She puffed on her cigarette all the while and her eyes were out of focus, as if she were miles away. I gazed at her lissome, lightly tanned body and experienced those strange tingles again. I told myself I was merely overwrought but it was more than that. Gina was soft and sensual, her breasts invited one to touch them, to nuzzle those nipples and to tongue down along the smooth slope of her belly down to where that bird's nest of hair sprouted.
I wrenched myself away from her nakedness and got up to take off my own clothes. When the two of us were naked in the same room the tingles increased in number and strength to the point at which I hardly dared move for fear of squelching too loudly. My cunt dribbled slightly, a drop or two gliding down my inner thighs, and my embarrassment forced me to flee into the obscurity of my bed. There, hidden by sheets and blankets, my pussy could drool all it wanted. Gina seemed totally unaware of the emotional storm going on behind her. She went on brushing, smoking, and thinking, and with each motion of her hand her full buttocks quivered subtly, a fleshy, sensual ripple that made my pussy tighten convulsively. I raised my legs to make a tent out of the blankets, and, watching her covertly, I began to finger myself. This was the depth of depravity I told myself, jerking off over one's own roommate. But it made me feel so nice and warm all over that I really couldn't stop myself.
"Did Richard call you this evening?" asked Gina out of the blue.
"Yes, a few hours ago." I had trouble keeping my voice steady. My finger dipped in and out of my sopping-wet cunt while a knuckle chafed against the clitoris. Delicious ... delicious! I half-closed my eyes and observed Gina through my lashes. She turned around and absently stroked her breasts, put down her brush and walked over to the window to lean out and take in the night air. She seemed restless, tired but unable to settle down. I was glad because that gave me more time to look at her and adore her. Her body picked up the dim light so that her skin shone sensually, dark where the sun had tanned her, startling white where her bikini had been. She turned to me briefly and I saw that dark triangle of hair standing out against her white skin, and in that moment I found it impossible to breathe. My eyes bulged, my finger dug right into my cunt, and I came in the most sneaky, repressed way possible. I had to hold it in-but it was as though my body sprang a lot of tiny leaks through which my emotions found release.
She took another cigarette from my bedside table, dropped it, and bent down low to pick it up. By then she had her back to me and my eyes bored into the furry cleft bulging out between her thighs. Pink flesh showed through the darkness, and then a light beam caught something moist in between her full lips, a droplet of sweat perhaps ... or was she excited, too? I wanted to ask her and to offer myself for her personal relief. But fear swept through me and dried my pussy in an instant. What if she told other people? "You know Ellen, the vestal virgin?" she would say. "I know why she doesn't date boys. She-likes girls too much!" And then they would all laugh and say they'd known it all along. No, I couldn't take a chance. I had my future to think about. The college paper wouldn't even want to know me if that came out. A dike! Besides, I wasn't queer! I was just lonely!
I tried not to look at Gina as she kept pacing around the room. She was smoking intently, inhaling the vapors, keeping them down in her lungs for as long as she could. Finally I asked her what the matter was. She wouldn't answer. She sat down on the side of her bed and stared down at the floor.
"It's nothing, nothing at all." She shook her head impatiently. "I'd like to take you into my confidence but you'd only think it's silly."
"No, I won't. We're roommies, we can tell each other anything," I protested. I hoped Gina would second that sentiment because then I'd be able to confess to her that I wanted her to spend the night in my bed for one wild, curiosity-fulfilling session.
"Not stuff like this." She set her mouth and got into bed. "Goodnight, Ellen, I'll be all right in the morning." She turned off the light and that was it. I felt a terrific sense of disappointment. Something had been in the air and Gina had let it slide. Oh well ... there was the next day to worry about.
Only I couldn't turn her off the way she had turned off the light. My hands stayed glued to my groin, pushing, pinching, fingering, keeping my juices flowing and my blood on the boil. In the darkness I recaptured the beauty of her body, piecing her together until she stood before my mind's eye and showed off her ass, her pussy, her delicious little breasts, bending for me, pushing her loins out at me, salacious, solicitous, wanting only me! I let a groan slip and my finger pushed too hard into my cunt, so that a splashing noise made itself heard. I held my breath, scared that Gina had heard, hoping too, but she didn't respond one way or the other.
I masturbated until my cunt was red-raw and my nipples just didn't care anymore. At last sleep took over-but even in dreams I couldn't get too far away from my troubles! There was Gina, Richard, there was a road gang, the football team, the faculty, the Red Army, all of them lining up to make love to me brutally, interminably, using me the way men use livers or fists, fucking me until I was ragged, bleeding and limp. They degraded me and I loved it. I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face and only one desire, to crawl back into the dream and stay there.